Episode 2 Adopting Abroad: Saira's Story

This programme contains some strong language.

Saira Khan, TV presenter and businesswoman,

is best known for her stint on the first series of The Apprentice.

But despite their success, Saira and husband Steve Hyde

have been unable to complete their dream of having two children.

They went through IVF to have their son Zach...

..but to find him a sister, they've decided to adopt.

They will be travelling 5,000 miles to adopt a baby girl

from an orphanage in Pakistan.

I know that baby girls are thrown into the skip in Pakistan because they're girls,

because the women who have them are really poor, they can't look after them.

For eight months, they opened up their lives to the rigorous adoption process in the UK.

-We jump in at the deep end and I will be challenging, I'm afraid.

-OK.

They have finally been approved.

-Yeah, it was unanimous.

-Oh!

But the toughest challenge lies ahead.

Pakistan is one of the most dangerous countries in the world.

Saira and Steve have had to make a hard decision.

Zach is not entering the country.

Saira will have to travel to Karachi alone.

I feel like I'm just going out on my own and people are like,

you know, bring the baby back and you'll be fine.

-Yeah. I love you, sweetheart.

-I love you.

Saira has no idea when, or even if, she will bring a baby home.

Karachi is home to 20 million people.

Pakistan's famous port city,

it also has a reputation for political violence and widespread poverty.

Saira has no idea how long she may be here,

trying to find a baby to adopt.

It is a bit weird because I'm here on my own, without my family,

waiting for a child to arrive. It's a bit weird, really.

And because, you know, I can't just, you can't just go out

and explore, because it's just not those times at the moment.

I do think it's, uh...

I feel like it's a bit volatile out there really, so I'm just,

you know, just trying to get the job done

and then, and then see what happens, really.

I just want to... I just want to get the baby.

There are so few babies put up for adoption in the UK

that Steve and Saira hope they will stand a much better chance of getting an infant here in Pakistan.

Babies are abandoned every week on the streets of Karachi.

Sometimes, they're left in this cradle which stands just outside the Edhi Orphanage.

Abandoned newborns, most of them girls,

are usually found homes locally by Belquis Edhi who runs the orphanage.

It is Belquis alone who will decide whether or not to give Saira a baby.

Their first meeting is going to be crucial.

Let's get you ready, young man.

5,000 miles away in Oxford, Steve is spending all the time he can with Zach.

-Are we going for a wee before we go to bed?

-I want to read a book.

Oh, we'll have a book, all right, young man.

Open there.

After eight intense months of the UK adoption process,

Steve can now only wait for news from Saira.

'I feel quite anxious, I feel anxious for Saira,'

um, and what she's got to face, really.

But that's the main sort of feeling. It's quite, I feel quite helpless, really, at the moment.

We don't even know if there's a child in the orphanage, at this point,

so Saira might be waiting around for a few days, before a child

is presented or is available.

So, there's lots to, kind of, take in, really.

Let's hope it's a good day.

Getting things done in a city as volatile as Karachi is not going to be easy.

So Saira's asked an old friend and colleague, Khalid Waseem, to help her find her way around.

Today, they are going to see a couple Saira knows from Oxford.

They've already adopted from Edhi and are here visiting family.

Amjad! How are you?

Nice to see you.

-Is this Badhji's house or is this your family home?

-It's a family home.

Oh, it's your family home. I'll have to say hello.

As-Salamu Alaykum, how are you? Are you all right?

Look at you here in Pakistan, God, I can't believe I'm seeing...

Amjad and his wife, Sobia, are staying with his sister Masroor.

One of their adopted children, Sabreena,

has the genetic blood disorder, thalassaemia.

Sobia and Amjad had no idea anything was wrong

when they picked her up from the Edhi orphanage, as a baby,

but her illness has had an impact on the whole family.

Saira doesn't want to risk being given a very sick child

and the effect that would have on their life back in Oxford.

Have you chosen a paediatrician? Are you in touch with one?

No, I'm going to do that today and see who I can talk to.

If they're happy for you to take someone, I think you should,

because you can tell a lot from the head circumference.

As long as somebody says, "I'm a paediatrician, I'm an expert, this baby seems fine."

I think at least it gives me a bit of hope and then, anything else,

-I can, you know, I can wait for that. But I feel very scared myself.

-No.

To be able to make a judgement when I'm so emotional, to say,

-"I don't know what I'm supposed to be looking for."

-You wouldn't know.

-And the head circumference.

-Head circumference.

The family keep close contact with the Edhi Orphanage and Masroor knows Belquis Edhi well.

-But do all the babies from the other cities get sent there?

-Yeah.

-They get sent there?

-Yes.

-The baby could come from anywhere?

-Anywhere.

-You're all ready there, so you just need to go and express your feelings here in a different way...

-Yeah.

..so she can understand you're desperate to have a baby.

Yeah, desperate is the word.

And show maybe, um, which I know you have, is a bit of vulnerability.

Do you know what I mean?

Saira wants to do everything possible to be sure the baby she takes from the orphanage is healthy.

Um, I really would love, um, to speak to you about a contact at the Aga Khan Hospital.

Yeah, sorry I was just put on hold. I just, um,

was speaking to somebody and I asked about a paediatrician being available for me to speak to today.

I might be getting a baby soon, so I just want to make sure that I've had a chat

with a paediatrician at the Aga Khan Hospital.

Good morning, can I please speak to Dr Rehan Ali?

After two o'clock?

Can I ask you would it be possible to make an appointment to see him today after two o'clock?

-'You can come in the waiting.'

-I can come in to waiting?

-'Yeah.'

Saira hopes one of the Aga Khan Hospital paediatricians will come with her if she is offered a baby.

-Hello.

-How are you doing?

-Hello, I'm Saira, nice to meet you.

-I was told you were here. Have a seat.

-Thank you very much.

Hello, Doctor Rehan, I'll be adopting, hopefully, inshallah, God willing, we say everything,

-a baby girl from the Edhi Foundation.

-Right.

I think my questions at this stage are - number one,

do paediatricians come to, on request, to the Edhi Foundation?

Is that service available and would you be able to do it?

As an employee of the Aga Khan University Hospital we...

don't have a capacity to go and visit a child in the Edhi Centre.

You can bring the child over here, I can have a look at the child

and I can give him a thorough examination and we can go ahead and fulfil your requirements.

OK, the, the... I understand that I can do that anyway.

-Right.

-My specific request is,

I do not want to go to the Edhi Foundation when they phone me up to say you have a baby.

-You were wondering is this the right baby or wrong baby?

-I think...

-That's what your query is right? OK.

-I think all I need at that point of this is a baby, do you want it?

I need an expert to say let me check this baby, let me look at the head circumference,

if I've got equipment let me do the sight, let me do the hearing as... Let me check the hips.

I cannot, you know, go outside the jurisdiction of my university

and looking at a baby in their premises over there. Do you get my point?

-I have a huge problem with that, because the whole point is...

-I completely understand.

-I just have a huge problem with that.

-Yeah, yeah.

-That makes me feel really uncomfortable.

-I'm going to ask you personally, if you clocked off at seven o'clock here.

-Yeah, yeah.

You're now Doctor Rehan outside.

-Once you are full-time at Aga Khan University that's the part of your contract.

-24 hours?

-Yes, when you're talking...

-So you can't do any private work outside?

I cannot do any private work outside Aga Khan Hospital.

-So let's just say I've got the baby, as soon as I get it I'm straight here?

-Once the baby is here,

-I'll take care of you now.

-OK.

-OK?

-Thank you very much for your time.

-No problem.

-Really nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

-Really nice to meet you.

-Pleasure and have very good luck.

-Thanks.

-Thank you.

-No problem, bye-bye.

Bye-bye, thank you for your time.

Saira will have to depend on her own judgement if she is offered a child by Bilquis Edhi.

The Edhi Foundation has given up 30,000 children for adoption since it was started by Abdul Sattar Edhi.

The charity began in a small room in Karachi and is now

by far the largest welfare organisation in Pakistan.

Most of the babies from Edhi are given to families in Pakistan,

very few are adopted overseas.

Coming from the UK, unsure of her Urdu and with a non-Muslim husband back home,

Saira will have to make a good impression on Bilquis to get to the top of the waiting list.

I'm feeling really nervous, um...

I'm excited but because I'm going to meet her for the first time but I am really nervous.

But I want to get it over and done with, really, I just want to go and see her now.

-So here we are.

-Well, you go in first, you go in first.

What else do we need?

Everything now rests on this meeting.

The long adoption process and approval in the UK will mean little to Bilquis.

Saira can only hope that having Masroor there makes a difference

and that Bilquis remembers her application.

Shall we sit down?

Saira's done all she can to be foremost in Bilquis's mind.

And only two days later, Khalid receives a phone call from the orphanage.

-Saira.

-Yes?

-Do you know?

-Do I know what?

-Your doll has arrived.

-No, it hasn't!

Yeah, yes, yes, it has. The doll has arrived.

-Look at this, who's on there?

-Oh, my God!

Today at 3.21.

Oh, my God! What do we do then?

-I haven't even got the bottles ready.

-Rush!

-I've got nothing ready.

Rush, rush, I think, I think Bilquis is there as well.

-I'm not... I'm...I'm just not... Oh, my God!

-So do it quickly.

I've got nothing! No, but I haven't even got a sterilised bottle.

We'll sterilise it as quickly as possible. I'll use the hotel kitchen to sterilise it.

-I can't believe this has happened.

-Believe it, you are here for this.

Oh, my God! I cannot believe this is happening.

-Khalidbi, listen...

-You are not getting it all.

I know, I'm not joking, I just don't know what to do.

I can't even remember what you're supposed to do with a newborn baby now.

Um, bottle, bottle, I've got no milk, a bottle.

-OK...sterilising?

-I do want it to be boiled, Khalidbi,

that will make me feel really better.

Oh, my God! It's Steven. Quick Khalidbi. Steven?

-Yeah?

-Khalidbi has just come in and apparently there's a baby girl and they want us to come and see her,

and sort of, oh, well, I guess they'll want us to take her away. I don't know!

-Oh, my God!

-I know! I know, oh, my God!

I've got nothing, nothing ready and I'm just here with Khalidbi.

-'Let me, let me call you back properly, hold on...'

-OK, OK.

Are we wasting time doing this? No, we've got to be calm.

Yeah, calm and composed.

-OK, we just need the bottles done.

-OK, I'll do it.

SAIRA BREATHES DEEPLY

Is your heart still beating?

Oh, just...

Oh, my gosh...

I think I'll have to just take a bit of a... I'll just have to just...

-Come on.

-On no, hold on, I just feel really weird now.

You've waited for this moment for so long to happen. I can imagine.

-Oh, God!

-Come on, Saira.

-I know - I have to hold on for two minutes.

It was just...not a small decision. You came a long way.

SHE BREATHES DEEPLY

-Shall we?

-Yeah, come on.

-Come on.

Oh, God...

Aha...

Oh...

Can't.

Do we sit here?

Come and sit.

God...

SISTER RESPONDS IN NATIVE LANGUAGE

What did she say?

They've got guests.

Oh, my God! Is this the baby?

-Look at...

-Oh...

(Bless her.)

-Cute little baby.

-She's just...

And she is just a newborn.

Is she just... Is it just a newborn?

It just looks like a newborn - and look at the eyes. Big eyes.

Bless her.

-She's tiny, isn't she?

-She is, yeah.

What do you... I, I mean I don't... What...?

Hello, little sweetheart.

She's tiny.

She looks... I mean, she literally looks like she's just a newborn baby.

Just a newborn baby. Looks like a few hours old only.

-She does.

-Yeah.

Hello, sweetheart.

But she's very, very active, look at that.

Hello, sweetie... Oh, bless you.

Can you hold her, so I can unwrap her?

I've never seen such a tiny baby.

Oh, bless her.

What's all that on her skin?

-Yeah...

-What's all that?

I don't... Maybe her skin peeling off.

-A little bit...

-I don't know what it means. She looks very, very small.

She's got a little... They put ink on her...

-Vaccination.

-OK.

BABY CRIES Aww...

There she goes.

Can you ask her some questions, cos I... I've lost my Urdu now.

Can you ask her why her skin's like that?

Her eyes...

What does that mean?

A little weak, but she's a full mature baby.

Yeah, but she's very small, yeah. I expect that...

-She looks very, very small, but I mean, I expect that.

-Yeah.

She's absolutely tiny.

-So she was four pounds?

-Five pounds.

-She's five pounds.

-Yeah, that's...

-Let's go to the ho...

-Yeah, shall we go?

-Yeah.

I'd like to put her into some different clothes, if that's all right.

-If you want, yeah.

-I would like to.

Come on, little sweetie, you've got to take these off, come on. That's it.

Right...

These bits are raised, is she all right here?

-That's on this side only.

-But that looks quite high, don't you think?

-Yeah...

-Don't you think?

-Yeah.

See this is what frightens me a little bit, because is that normal, or...?

Oh, I don't want to bring her back though, if there's anything wrong.

I've just got to take her straight to the Aga Khan now - I mean, there's not a lot I can do, but...

BABY CRIES

OK, little one... OK.

Just wrap you up...

OK...

OK. Come on, then...

HE INTONES IN NATIVE LANGUAGE

SHE SPEAKS IN NATIVE LANGUAGE

Come on, little one...

SHE SPEAKS IN NATIVE LANGUAGE

Hello, Steve.

Yeah, great news. We are moving, things are moving.

We are going to the hospital with the baby.

BABY CRIES

Speak to your... Speak to Steve.

Can you hear her, Steve?

'I can hear you absolutely clear, crystal clear.'

Are you all right?

'Yeah, I can hear the little baby crying. I can't believe it.'

Oh, Steven it's unbelie... I still... It is so surreal.

She's a very, very pretty little girl and, um, I'm just taking her

to the hospital now. She's about five pounds.

'Yeah?'

So you know, um, basically, half the size Zach was,

um, but she's very pretty, very alert, she's been crying, you know, sort of, using her lungs.

Hold on... And, um, um, um...

But she's a very, very sweet little girl.

She is tiny, she's very, very thin, um, but she's about five pounds.

-I think, but, um...

-OK.

..but listen, listen, Steven, we've got to think of a name.

OK, now what, what do you, what, what do you, what's..?

Well, I tell you, I just took one... I took one look at her

and I just thought she, she's definitely an Amara.

Amara?

Amara. I think we've got a little baby Amara.

-OK.

-OK, darling.

Well, listen, I love you very much and, uh, tell Zach,

just gently tell Zach, that he's got a little baby sister called Amara.

Surname, last.

Kid's name, Hyde. H-Y-D-E.

H-Y...

-D-E.

-OK, it's the surname.

-Surname.

-OK, first name, please?

-Amara.

Can you just spell?

-A-M-A-R-A.

-OK.

Date of birth, please. Date of birth.

7th of March. Yesterday.

7th of March.

Yeah, that's nice that we know her birthday.

-Yeah, because she was absolutely sure that it was yesterday.

-Yesterday.

-Gender? Male? Gender?

-Um, a female.

-Female.

-OK.

BABY CRIES

-Hi, Saira.

-Hello, Doctor.

-How are you?

-As-Salamu Alaykum.

-I'm fine but I'm a little bit startled.

-All right.

-I forgot what it is like to have a new-born baby.

-A little girl, is it?

-A little girl, yes.

-All right.

-Her name's Amara.

Congrats. That's all right.

Thank you. I'll do it.

I'll do it, that's all right.

Can I just try and give her some bottle, Saira, is that OK?

-Can I just try and give her some bottle?

-Yes.

I think it's the other way around, her teat.

Oh, I don't know. I have no idea.

Don't worry about it, I've been doing that.

Yes.

OK, let's see.

-OK, so she is hungry, isn't she?

-Mmm-hmm.

You're doing a lot better than I did.

You see, I'm using this finger. I'm just trying to press here, you know.

So they said she's a day old, is she?

-Yes, that's what they said.

-Right.

-Do you think that's right?

We'll have a look at her.

-OK, she's definitely not a day-old child, OK?

-OK.

-Yeah, cos her umbilical stem is quite dry.

-Right.

-So she should be around, at least, three or four days old.

-OK.

-So, it's quite dry.

-OK.

-You only get a very, um, kind of, fresh umbilical stem in the first 48 hours.

-OK.

This, unlike some, looks, you know, it's quite old, so it's about...

-OK. Three or four days?

-At least.

-At least.

I think, definitely, looking at her skin, the skin is quite dry, as well, can you see that?

-Yes.

-So that again shows that, you know,

um, that she is a bit older than

-what they have told you, yeah?

-Mmm-hmm.

BABY CRIES

OK.

I know.

I know, I know.

(Amazing.)

-So, that's yours?

-And will you... I was a bit concerned that her chest was quite raised.

-Yeah.

-Is that normal?

-Well, in, you know, like, here it is normal but I completely agree

-with you that it looks, uh, slightly raised.

-Yes.

But the heart sounds just fine, ear entry is fine, you know.

That could be a normal variant, as well.

-Right.

-OK?

-OK.

-So don't worry about it.

-OK.

-OK, that's absolutely normal.

-OK.

-I would do some initial blood results on her.

-OK.

I mean, checking her blood count, infection screen and all that.

-Yeah.

-OK?

And do you want to wrap her up?

-Staying?

-Absolutely. She has to stay.

The first thing that comes in my mind is why the baby is not feeding, you know?

So I would think of, you know, is that baby infected or something.

So, you know, that's why we are taking her to the emergency room.

OK, so I will tell her. All right?

Dr Rehan has no idea of Amara's medical history

or of what happened to her before she was abandoned at Edhi.

So, what's happened? You have to..?

Amara's so weak the doctors suspect she may not

have been fed at all in those missing first few days of her life.

-It's low.

-What does that mean?

Low means low, it's not even giving the reading in the glucometer.

-Oh, so her sugar level...

-Sugar level is low.

-Low, so we need to put them up.

-Yeah.

Not knowing what lies ahead for Amara,

Saira must now face her worst fear.

-No, there is no way I can give that baby back.

-Never?

No way. How can you give her back? You can never, in a million years.

If there's something wrong, there's something wrong, I have to deal with it.

I'd never give her back now.

That's your decision.

All right, I've made my decision, I'll just deal with whatever she's got. I'll deal with it.

Steve, it's me.

OK, well listen. First of all, I'm really sorry I haven't called you,

because, I mean, I don't even know what time of night it is,

it must be about two o'clock.

Long story short, I've been in the hospital all this time.

They've taken lots of bloods from her. They're going to now put her into an intensive care unit.

And so that's... I'm just waiting to admit her.

When she's admitted, I can't go anywhere near her, basically.

They've got tubes coming through her nose and she's got a drip on her arm.

I don't want to send you a picture.

I've taken pictures, but I don't want to send them to you, Steven, until I know she's healthy and I've got

a blood count and I can tell you more stuff. But, you know, just pray that she's OK.

Twelve hours after they left the orphanage

Amara is admitted to the neonatal intensive care unit,

where Saira will have to leave her for the night.

First thing next morning,

Saira is back at the Aga Khan to see how her daughter is getting on.

BEEPING

Hello, I've come to see baby Amara. Thank you.

I spoke to a doctor and the doctor said

that she's been doing really well.

Um, her glucose levels are up now.

Um, they're going to do a head scan on her

and they're still waiting for the cultures report, just to make

sure that she isn't, um, suffering from any kind of, um, infection.

So they're the two things that I'm waiting for, really.

They've also done some other blood tests

and they've come back and she is negative for

hepatitis B, hepatitis C and HIV, which is amazing.

The only real concern I've got is the thalassemia count, because they're saying that the process

that they go through here, it'll be inconclusive, because she's not old enough.

But I think I've still got to do it, so that I can send the results

back to the UK and then they can give me a better analysis.

But I'm just really, really happy that, you know, these major tests have come back and she's negative.

In Oxford, Saira's mum, Hanifa, is struggling with the enormity of what her daughter's going through.

DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS

'The last I heard from her was last night,'

about four o'clock Karachi time, about 11 o'clock here.

She, um, she rang through, she's still at the hospital, the baby was in intensive care,

kind of, as a precaution, I think, at that point, because obviously the baby was quite weak.

COMPUTER BEEPS

Oh, she's calling me now.

Saira, can you see me?

No, I can't. I can hear you. Oh, I can see you!

Come on, tell me, tell me everything, quickly.

Oh, but can I see Zach, Steve, cos I'm really missing him.

-OK, he's just upstairs, with Bayer, so just let me get him.

-All right.

No, no, no, listen, listen!

Mummy.

Yeah, hold on two minutes... Hi, Zach!

Sit down, sit down.

Zachy, how are you, my darling?!

ZACH CHUCKLES

Hello, Zachy. Zachy, boo-boos.

Boo-boos.

I love you, baby.

Can you show me the hotel?

No, I can't show you the hotel.

-Zachy, can I tell you something? Can I tell you a secret?

-Yes.

I found baby Amara yesterday.

I found baby Amara and she said, "Say hello to Zach and I can't wait to see Zach".

Who's going to get my Blueberry?

MUM: He said "my Blueberry"!

Do you want to see the photograph while Zach comes? Have a look at the photo.

Oh, there's a picture here.

Ah, she's sweet, Saira.

And what a lovely little lip she's got, little... She's gorgeous.

MUM: Eyes is beautiful.

-She's absolutely.

-Who's this Zachy?

-Steven show him.

He's here.

-Saira.

-I want to hold you.

-Ah.

-He said, "Mum hold me."

-No, he said, "I want to hold you."

-I love you, sweetheart.

-Mum, come out of the computer.

I will come out of the computer, my darling, but I have to stay here for a little bit,

because, you know, Blueberry, she's not very well, Zachy, she's in the hospital,

so I'm just here and I'm making her better for when you come and see her.

-Daddy.

-Mm-hm.

Can I get..? Bye, Mummy.

Bye, darling, I love you.

I'm going to get my baby.

You're going to get..? OK.

-Listen, Saira, um...

-Is he all right, sweetheart?

Yeah, he's OK, he's obviously confused about things, but he's coping OK, Saira.

Yeah, I know, but I, honestly, Steven,

you know, like yesterday for the first time in these last ten or 11 months,

I thought, "Am I doing the right thing?", for a second, I thought, "Am I doing the right thing?"

I was hyperventilating,

-cos I was just thinking, I'm going to take somebody else's baby.

-Mmm.

But let me tell you, as soon as I had her in my arms, Steven,

as soon as I had her in my arms, I just thought,

"Listen, love, you are mine."

And my mum will love her, cos I can see mum being really upset.

But she's absolutely the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

-And then you've got a little baby girl called Amara Hyde, Steven.

-I know, I know. It's amazing.

When you first rang up from there, from the car, and I could hear

the little baby crying, that was just a really, you know, like, amazing moment. It really just

all came together then. And I just, I just hope to get out there as quickly as possible now.

-Ah, mate,

-Yeah, well it's brilliant.

-I can't

-Yeah, well, it's brilliant.

I miss you lots and I'm going to go and celebrate today.

OK, have a lassie.

SAIRA LAUGHS

Really just incredible to see

this little baby that's going to be spending the rest of her life

with us, as a family.

You know, we're gonna take responsibility for giving her a really good life.

Bringing Amara home could take up to three months.

Saira has to deal with a mountain of paperwork, to get their daughter back to England.

So while Amara's still in intensive care,

Steve plans a trip to Karachi and she gets the legal process underway.

As she collects the papers Amara needs for a British Settlement Visa, violence shuts Karachi down.

..that you asked for. So, this is a copy of my...

HORN BEEPS

This is a copy of my identity card, yeah. Let me just go through...

After shootings in the city, the lawyer's offices are closed suddenly.

Negotiating the bureaucracy is ever more difficult.

..then phone you and tell him exactly which document it is, OK? Yeah.

It could be months before they get the British Visa.

After six days in intensive care, the doctors are finally happy

for Saira to take Amara back to the hotel.

No, you need to do it very gently, because it's very...

Ooh. Oh, sweetheart.

Now I've had her now for about two weeks,

I can't imagine my life without her now.

I've been able to focus on her,

because I've had all this time on my own.

I'm understanding that she gets a bit of wind after she's been bottle fed and the position she likes.

And she likes to fall asleep on my chest, then I can put her down.

And she wants to really snuggle upright right underneath my chin.

She likes to really snuggle in, and gets a comfortable position, then goes to sleep.

I remember at one point just staring at her and just,

I just remember just thinking, "How could anybody have let you go?"

I actually thought about, perhaps, the mum who left her in the cradle, you know, you do think about that,

but at the same time thinking, "Well I'm really glad that I'm going to look after you."

Her vulnerability made me feel really...

Her vulnerability just made me want to look after her.

I mean, that was the first time I've ever come across,

you know, physically seeing for myself, and experiencing, somebody abandoning a baby.

You know, that is... You talk about it, I've been talking about it for the last year.

I know that I'm going to get a baby that's abandoned, but when you're in that situation, it is...

It's really...surreal.

When I went into that orphanage to pick her up, I stopped, I couldn't go in,

because, at that moment, I thought, "I'm about to take somebody's baby." That was really, really hard.

I didn't know if I could do it.

I didn't know if I could take somebody's baby.

But within a few hours, I just... I knew she was mine.

Belquis has officially confirmed that Amara was abandoned

and that she is now Saira's responsibility.

Belquis gave us the abandonment certificate, um, and a lot

of the form is about father's details, mother's details - all that kind of thing.

It's all "unknown", "unknown", "unknown", "unknown",

apart from the top bit, where it says place of birth and it says "Karachi".

So that, for me,

that's important, that's important.

Karachi is where she was born.

I'm sure I can provide Amara with the best life and the best possibilities and the best future.

But if you really, really ask me, I really wish Amara was with her mum.

But her mum did have to make a choice.

And I try not to think about it too much, but it does come into my mind.

I think, Amara, growing up, when they talk about adopted children

wanting to know their identity, she is going to ask those questions, because I, as somebody who has

picked her up, am asking these questions, she's going to ask them. And rightly so. And rightly so.

And I'd love to come back with her one day and, you know,

come to Karachi with her and show her place. You know, this is where she's born.

But she won't...

She will never be able to find her real parents.

I don't know how to articulate this, but being here in Pakistan,

I really struggle with my conscience sometimes,

because living in the west, I feel so privileged that, you know, if you're poor,

there's somebody to help you - there's social security, there's welfare.

You know, if your husband's beating you up or something,

there's somewhere to turn to.

I don't think anybody who doesn't come from a third world country

or a developing country can ever understand the moral dilemmas that people face here.

And it's really hard, being totally westernised, trying to come here

and understand it all.

Hello, baby! Hello, baby boy. Hello, my baby!

Can I have a hug? Oh, love you.

Look at you, Zachary. Hello, gorgeous!

I love you, sweetheart.

Oh, look, Zachy, there's Blueberry in there.

She's been sleeping all this time.

Look at little Blueberry, Zachy.

'I just kind of wanted to, to savour that moment to myself.

'I wanted to just look at her.'

I wanted, really, to shut all the other noise out - the noise

and the distraction - and I just wanted to just look at her.

'And you know, in a way if I could have said it to her, I would have just wanted to reassure her,

"Look, I'm going to look after you, I'm going be your father

"and I'm gonna give you the best life that I possibly can do."

Oh, my boy, listen. Shall we go out and see Karachi?

This is our little family.

'It also felt that it was, um...'

it felt like the end of a very long journey, not just the journey to adoption,

but the whole journey of getting married, finding the family house,

having Zach and everything coming together.

So it felt, it felt like, you know, it was ultimately her destiny to be with us and, uh,

and so she is going to, she is going to experience a very, very, very different life.

Steve and Zach stayed in Karachi for four weeks.

It took Saira another two months to get the British Visa

and bring Amara back to Oxford to meet the rest of her family.

-Zach, what are you doing?

-You can see. Can you see?

-I can see you.

-There you go.

-Aw, look at that.

-Zach, come here, darling.

-Catch me!

-What did you say? Did you say to Mummy,

"Come out the computer?"

-Yeah.

-Did you see Mummy on the computer all the time, did you?

In six months' time, Saira and Steve will be able

to apply to the courts to legally adopt Amara here in the UK.

Only then will she finally, officially, be their daughter.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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