Damned If They Do, Damned If They Don't Protecting Our Children

After scandals like Baby P,

most social workers feel criticised from all sides.

Either they're interfering home wreckers

or incompetent do-gooders who fail to protect our children.

I think it's the most hated profession in the nation, probably.

I even have some people in the wider family who say,

"Why are you a social worker?"

They won't even admit to their friends

they have a social worker in their family.

You're not very liked.

Suzanne is a newly-qualified social worker,

one of several filmed in Bristol over a year.

It's November, and Suzanne is six weeks into her first case,

a family who are struggling with their young boy.

DOG BARKS

Oh, God!

-Hello. Anybody in?

-Yes, in here, love.

-Hello. Hiya, Tiffany.

-Hello.

Mike and Tiffany have a three-year-old son.

Toby is well behind in his development.

He cannot speak, and still wears nappies.

For his own protection, he will not be identified.

You're nosy, aren't you?

The family are living in basic accommodation,

and Toby doesn't yet have a bed to sleep in.

-So, how is his bed coming on?

-It's getting delivered today or tomorrow.

-That is really urgent, isn't it?

-Yes.

-I don't know if you could get hold of a mattress or something

where he could sleep till then?

He has actually slept on the settee last night and the night before.

-What time...?

-He's fallen asleep, and we just left in there.

-Yes.

Mike, do you think you are prepared to answer a few questions?

The case has become much more serious

since bruises were found on Toby two weeks ago.

Right! At the end of the day, you might be a trainee social worker,

but what I am still fuming about is

the way that you accused me on Friday.

We're investigating at the moment, Mike,

and I'm here to protect children.

You are here to split the family up. Let's get it straight.

-Michael, can you please calm down?

-It's true though, love.

We're doing this in front of your child.

I'm not really feeling that comfortable

that you are raising that voice.

You're out to do one thing.

-You're quite stuck in that opinion, aren't you?

-Yes.

We've said to you before, that is not the way.

-I know you're out to do one thing.

-OK.

I'll repeat it now with the camera. You're out to wreck us.

Any new job is always scary. It's not nice to be shouted at.

He can flip from second to second.

I'm worried about my own practice, worried about what will happen

if I see him next. Yes, it gets into my dreams

and into my subconscious, where I don't want it to be.

If I'm that worried about Mike, if I'm that scared,

how does Toby feel in this?

The next day, the family are called to the office,

as there may be legal consequences in the case.

Suzanne has received a medical report indicating

some of the bruising may be grab marks.

Do you want to take some toys? Yes, you do, don't you?

You grab some toys if you want to.

Because she's new to the job,

Suzanne is supported by a more-experienced social worker, Paul.

The purpose of this meeting is to go through this,

and the main concerns that started this assessment are

the two fingerprint bruises that were found

on Toby's arm by the paediatrician.

Now, regarding the actual bruises,

the reason given for the left arm was not seem to be consistent

by the paediatrician with the injuries that were there.

The one on his arm, I done, admittedly,

because he got out of his buggy,

went to run into a busy road, so I grabbed him.

I didn't actually mean to leave a bruise on him.

If it's a criminal record, then go ahead and carry on. Give it to me,

because I would rather have a criminal record than a dead son.

But even the one you can explain to us, it is still a concern,

because the paediatrician has said

the injury doesn't seem consistent with that version of events,

of grabbing him to stop him running into the road.

Again, it is likely it has come from somewhere else.

There was a bruise on the face, which you told as happened

when Toby fell over, or was pushed over by the dog

and hit his head on the radiator.

-When he was little, he ran into my laptop.

-Mmm.

Yes, he bled, yes, he cried.

He cried for about five minutes. That hurt.

When he ran into the radiator, he stood up and he laughed.

So, surely, I'm sorry, if it's going to hurt,

he'd be crying and screaming his head off.

Surely to God, I know more about my son

than you guys do from day one when you've been with us.

You've pointed the finger at me,

I've had an absolute gut full of that.

Suzanne was the one that stood there and accused me of doing it.

Would you like us to look after him

for a while whilst you're having the conversations?

I'm aware that he's hearing a lot of this.

Do you want to come and do some playing with us, next door? Yes.

Come on, then. There we go, we've got some toys.

Do you want to take that as well?

Basically, if we work with you guys and do everything you ask,

everything will be OK, yeah?

I'm not going to stand here and say things aren't serious

and that isn't a concern.

I understand they're serious, I do.

That is why we're trying to change it.

I did have a bad view of social workers,

because I didn't have them around when I needed them,

-when I was a kid.

-I know the feeling.

Now that I didn't want them, they're there.

I would rather accept the help and have my kid than not have him.

-Because I've lived my whole life without my mum.

-Mmm.

-And...

-That's affected you, hasn't it?

-Yes.

-We know the fact that it has.

We don't want to see Toby have the same thing.

I'm really sorry to interrupt you again, I just thought you

would want to know that he's fallen to sleep flat on the desk.

Suzanne and Paul call the meeting to an end.

There's insufficient evidence of physical abuse

to take the matter to court.

Let's go and get you to Mummy.

Get you to Mummy. I can bring you to Mummy.

Come on, let's bring you to Mummy. Look through that window.

Look who's there.

TOBY STARTS TO CRY

Look who's there.

It's all right.

There, he's woken up. All right, there we go.

I can understand why they are reacting the way they are.

But they've got to understand

the parents are reacting the way they are because you've got

two social workers saying, "You're rough handling your own kid."

Of course, you're going to have a dig or a pop at them.

All right, buddy.

To be honest, I don't think much of them.

The team manager Sally-Ann remains worried about Toby's developmental delay

and the conditions in which he's living.

The main concern is parental neglect.

We've also got the additional information that

the parents have not been taking Toby for his medical appointments,

he's not been going to nursery.

Dad's really volatile reaction, poor conditions,

lack of food in the house, et cetera.

The basic stuff that we've been expecting this time,

they've not done it.

Focusing on Mum, she's not doing anything.

She does lip service, she's telling us, "Yes, we'll do that."

He still doesn't have a bed, a toothbrush,

all those underlying kinds of neglect.

Mike said, "I don't brush my teeth, why should he brush his teeth?"

We need to say, "We accept you don't agree with this,

"but let's talk about what's important, a plan of progress."

-Could we do another follow-up visit?

-Yes.

A week on, another experienced social worker, Louise,

is asked to support Suzanne.

All I need is my keys, isn't it? I don't need anything else.

Sally-Ann asks them to make

an unannounced visit to the family home.

Do you know much about it, apart from that Dad doesn't...?

I know everything about this case.

We've lived and breathed it, haven't we?

I was here last week

-when that little chappie was asleep on the table.

-Oh...

-What's the briefcase for?

-It's my bag!

-Have you a dead body in there?

-No, just dead children!

Go on!

Everybody in this job remembers what it was like,

having their first case that was complex, difficult or unexpected.

We all remember that feeling of,

"How an earth I am going to cope with this and deal with this

"and make sure I get it right?,"

and the responsibility of getting it right for the child.

I think to go together and do those visits is supportive

to somebody like Suzanne on a case like this.

Hello? Are you all right?

-How is he getting on with brushing his teeth?

-Er, yeah, not too bad.

-Who is doing it? Tell me. Is he doing it, or...?

-Yeah.

Sorry, Mike, to say that this is not quite

what we were talking about, was it?

Right, I just need to pop into the bedroom.

All that clutter in the corner, where did that come from?

That's his potty in the corner, isn't it?

OK, Mike, I've just done a quick pop-in visit.

Are you good at housework? Why can't you get it sorted?

-When you go in a house like that, would you leave a dog in there?

-No.

Why would we live a child? They've got no interest.

They are not engaging in requests by us. You know, it's neglect.

-You've got to remember Sally-Ann has not been in that house.

-Mmm.

-You've got to bring that house to her.

-Yes.

The fact that every time you go there, you are saying to them, "This house has not changed,"

it's not good enough. There's not any space for that child to play

unless he sits on the newspaper

-that is provided for the dog to pee and poo on.

-Yes.

Actually, I'm thinking this little boy shouldn't be there.

There's a difference between mess,

which you know if you looked at, ten minutes and you could sort that out,

to mess that you know is going to take you days,

and you've got food and faeces, urine and stuff all over the floors.

Your natural response is to provide comfort, so bedding...

If that's not there and it's all strewn on the floor

and you know that child is just sleeping wherever,

that is a sign of neglect.

If you had no money,

you would still provide a duvet and a pillow, somehow.

When you fail to think that,

because you're meeting every need which might be your own, is when,

then, the risks present.

The bathroom was filthy, completely stained, dirty.

The toilet hasn't been cleaned for a while.

The toothbrush was lying on this filthy floor.

From last week, this...

It sounds to me like we need to do a written plan with them

that specifically goes through

the jobs that they need to be doing in this house.

-What do you think?

-Yes, that's fine.

-You look really worried about this child.

-I am.

-I can tell.

-It's just because

everybody I've spoken to about this child,

and Louise said, "Why is this child still in there?"

I'm just trying to decide... Well, actually, I don't know why.

If you get to a point where you have to remove a child,

it's better to do that and do it successfully.

We have to illustrate that we've given the family every opportunity

to understand the concerns and change,

and one of our biggest problems is that we've had this case,

in this team, a matter of a very few weeks.

We need to be allowing that a bit more time. Does that make sense?

-No, it does make sense. Sorry for being so...

-No!

Not quite...

I don't mind social workers coming to me and saying,

"I'm really, worried about this,"

and then us both sharing the risk together.

I'd quite like to come and meet this family.

We talked about you and I doing a joint visit. I think I'd quite like to come.

-Shall we do one together on Friday?

-Yes.

Ready, steady, go!

TOBY LAUGHS

Got to do it better. One, two, three, wee!

To help the family, the social workers buy Toby his first bed.

But they insist that Mike and Tiffany must clean up

and provide better care for him.

Every single task is laid out in a formal agreement.

It does get upsetting, because we do try.

Yeah, our house is never going to be a palace, kind of thing,

but at the end of the day, we haven't got a lot of space,

and you can only do your best with what you've got.

With kids, they make a mess anyways.

TOBY SQUEALS

Oh, Rex!

For crying out loud. Where's the tissues?

TOBY CRIES

KNOCKING

TOBY YELLS

Daddy.

TOBY SCREAMS

Hi.

What?

Down.

Come on, then.

The agreement requires them to make a clean play area for Toby,

away from the dog.

You ain't having that.

'To be honest, it's a pokey, small, two-bed flat.

'The carpet could do with another good going over,

'but you ain't going to get that up much better.

'It just seems like they're widening the goalposts to their advantage.

'They're always finding faults, we know that for a fact.'

Where's that...?

Scram.

TOBY SHOUTS

Obviously, you get your parenting skills from your own parents.

We were getting to the point where we were, like,

delving into our own pasts to see how our parents coped with us

and how it affects us coping with our own children.

My upbringing, it wasn't all too pleasant.

You don't want to put your child

through the same thing you went through.

You can't get out, mate!

You... Ah-ha!

Yeah, dream on, son!

Going to come eat your dinner, Toby?

Doggy, move.

Concerns about Mike and Tiffany's ability to parent are increased

by the news that Tiffany is pregnant.

Their unborn child is another new case for Suzanne.

If the family home doesn't improve,

I couldn't see a newborn going into that home at the moment.

It's definitely a big risk.

And at the moment, the parents can't see that.

Three days later,

Sally-Ann wants to see for herself how the agreement is progressing.

BARKING

-Hello.

-Hiya.

-Nice and clean.

-Thank you.

Hello, Mike. What are you doing, Toby?

TOBY LAUGHS

Shall we sit here, is that all right?

-Shall we go through every point?

-It's not 100%, but we're getting there.

-The stair gate was semi-up.

-Have you got it, though, the stair gate?

That's why the brackets are on the side of the door.

OK. So that's on the go. Not quite done.

So the actual gate itself is...?

It's in there, cos Toby took it off.

-He took it off? How did he get it off?

-Quite easy.

So, what are you going to need to do to get it back on again?

All you got to do, I need a bracket on down there.

So, you're going to fit one to there, OK.

You've got a screwdriver, have you?

You're just going to screw it into the wall and just do that?

-Have you managed to wipe the floors in the kitchen?

-Yes.

Did you manage to clean the bathroom floors?

-Can I have a look?

-Yes.

-Good.

Did you buy duvet covers and sheets?

-He used our duvet.

-What did you use?

-We just slept in our clothes.

-Did you?

-Yes.

TOBY SHOUTS

-Do not put the blame on us!

-Do me a favour - shut up, please.

Can I have a quick word with you on your own in a minute? Please?

-Me, now?

-In a minute.

-OK, yeah.

It's about a certain person, which I will...one to one.

Suzanne can't do anything on her own, she works as part of a team.

All right, she is stirring this the wrong way.

I've never liked her from day one. Never have done, never will,

and I'm never going to.

I support what Suzanne is doing.

Surely to God, I can turn around and say I don't want her help

and ask for a different female social worker.

I'm really sorry, Mike, but I can't give you another social worker.

-Then I'll be taking this one further...

-That's fine.

I'll be contacting my local MP today.

I hope we can work on your relationship with each other.

-No, I'll be contacting my local MP today.

-OK.

I'm getting rid of her.

'Suzanne's not doing anything wrong.

'Not all families gel with their social worker.

'Mike is blaming other people.

'He's blaming just about anything he can than, actually,

'almost to distract the real issue,

'which is the fact that he is not able to parent his son

'in a way which is good enough.'

All righty?

Mike needs to understand that Suzanne isn't making decisions in isolation,

she's not doing that on her own,

so she can't formulate a sort of, you know,

her own one-track-mind plan.

It's not possible when you've got a team of people

working with a case like this.

MUSIC: "SILENT NIGHT"

In December, there's a case conference.

Professionals from health and education

will join the social workers to raise increasing concerns

about Toby in front of his parents.

My name is Maggie.

I'm employed by Bristol City Council solely to chair these meetings,

and this will be my only contact with the family.

First of all, I want to know what it is the professionals, in particular,

think is contributing to the situation as you find it.

One of the things that I feel is a real problem here

has been the defensiveness from Mike,

and we're seeing somebody who's been really quite hostile,

been really unwilling to talk about change,

and has been preoccupied with arguing with us,

and that's stopped us from being able to talk

about how things can be better.

We would very much hope that Mike can hear the views of today

and maybe consider better ways of trying to come up with a plan

that he is willing to take on board, really.

Do you understand why Sally-Ann has made those comments?

Yeah, but every time it seems like

they put an obstacle in the way and get at me.

Putting that disagreement that you've got to one side,

what about your parenting and your concern for Toby and how he is?

The only concern I've got is his speech and his behaviour.

If you tell him, "No," and you start telling him off

for something, there are certain things.

What you guys don't understand, he is an absolute handful.

Do you think he gets frustrated

because he can't make himself understood?

Do you think his behaviour is down to that?

Some of it is, but some of it ain't. When you tell him, "No,"

-i.e. slam the door...

-He just gets more frustrated.

You know he can listen, but half the time, he'll carry on.

Nobody has done nothing till now when we're here.

And that's why I get irated with you guys.

Thanks.

It's absolutely crucial that we get the right service engaged,

and that will require quite a significant commitment

from Mike and Tiffany.

I appreciate, Mike,

that you do feel quite defensive about the allegations.

But don't let that get in the way of actually

accessing the services that he needs.

He needs his parents to prioritise his needs over their own needs.

Sally-Ann, what's your view? Do we need a child protection plan?

My view is yes.

It's not sufficient for us to feel confident that Toby's needs

are being protected and that he's not at risk of significant harm.

-OK, Susanne?

-Yes, I agree.

-Paul?

-I also agree, yes.

I agree, but what I'm concerned about is that Tiffany and Michael

haven't taken seriously his developmental delay

and accepted the recommendations of professionals.

-OK.

-I agree, also, yes.

And the category of that risk I'm going to put down as neglect,

because, in my view, I think that is the most overriding

or the most prominent factor within this case.

But that's notwithstanding that there have been bruises and that

Tiffany has accepted or acknowledged

that that's a result of her handling of him.

So, key to this is going to be getting the right services in

to support Mike and Tiffany in managing Toby's behaviour.

Because that behaviour management will then hopefully prevent

any further need for that kind of handling from them. OK?

'Doors closing.'

Toby is now subject to a child protection plan.

If the situation doesn't improve, the case could go to court

and Toby be removed from Mike and Tiffany's care.

# Row, row, row your boat

# Gently down the stream

# Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily

# Life is but a dream

# Rock, rock, rock your boat

# Gently down the stream

# If you see a crocodile

# Don't forget to scream. #

Aargh!

Good boy.

The child protection plan means

Suzanne keeps an even closer eye on the family...

..and child health experts observe Toby at play sessions

to help his behaviour and find out why he can't speak.

I didn't start talking until I was quite late, same with Michael.

It could be hereditary,

it might not...

but no-one can tell us for sure why he's not talking.

-I was late talking. I didn't talk until I was...

-Six.

..six.

Erm...

What they think, they can carry on thinking.

Again, you can't really tell social services,

-go and politely...

-Off.

..as much as I want to.

Do you want the cars or the ball?

Toby, more cars!

Look! It's the baby.

It's raining.

Can you see?

HE GRIZZLES

Toby, would you like a drink?

HE CRIES

Stop.

After 40 hours of assessment,

the lead paediatrician shares the findings.

In summary, then, he does chuck things around quite a lot,

and I felt quite threatened by the missiles

that were hurled around the room.

I think everybody feels the same way,

even us, and we're his parents.

That has to be taken into consideration

in terms of the level of support he gets.

His developmental age at the age of three and eight months

is much more in the range of 12 to 24 months...

so his needs are quite considerable.

We've done some investigations

to see if there's any underlying cause for his developmental delay,

and all the investigations have been negative so far.

So, I think our feeling generally has been that

Toby's developmental delay is part of his genetic inheritance.

Both Tiffany and Michael had delayed language development,

Tiffany was telling me, so this may well be part of a familial condition.

However, we do have to acknowledge that there have been other issues

about neglect, and those are being addressed

-within the child protection process, aren't they?

-Yes.

-Good. Thanks, everyone, for coming.

-Thank you.

Although the experts say Toby's delay is hereditary,

the social workers are still worried about neglect.

TOBY GRIZZLES

After four months of intensive work,

there's no sign of any improvement in how Toby's being looked after.

The temper that they've seen on him is absolutely tame.

They're not here 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

What they see when they are here is different things

to when they're not here.

Oi! Stop.

Don't pinch me, you monkey.

You little...

Hello.

HE CRIES

That was unexpected.

'One minute, he'll be playing nicely with some cars.

'And the next minute,

'he could be throwing them at you or hitting you with them.

'He had chipped a bone in my wrist from where he had smacked me

'with one of his cars.

'I've had bite marks, pinch marks...

'bruises, cuts.

'I've said no to some chocolate just before bedtime one night

'and he bit me and left a really sore mark

'that stayed for months on end.'

Oi!

I told you to put them on tight. And that.

Heads!

Heads!

Heads!

The problem is, he's three and a half years old, he can't speak,

he's not able to do basic things that children

even a year younger than him are able to do.

The advice we've been given from the medical profession is that

a child like him has got about another six months

before that window of opportunity

to help him catch up with his peers will be lost. Erm...

So I think as a multi-agency group working with this child,

I think we have a responsibility

to try and effect some change for him very quickly.

No.

Calm down, please.

With time pressing, Sallyanne wants to take the case to court.

Only a judge can decide to remove Toby from his parents.

What are you doing to Tigger?

It's a huge process to take a case to court.

These kinds of neglect cases are hard often to evidence,

but overall, we have not reached a place where we feel these parents

are managing to keep up a standard of care which is good enough.

The carpet is still sodden. The place is very dirty.

We can't go on. It can't go on.

Before legal action can begin, events take an unexpected turn.

Tiffany is rushed to hospital

with serious complications in her pregnancy.

Hello!

Faced with looking after Toby on his own, Mike agrees with Tiffany

that Toby should go to a foster carer until she can come home.

'Mike, he had no idea about what he was going to do with him tonight.

'Cook, feed, put him to bed,

'be aware of his emotional needs, be protective towards him.

'We have real concerns that he wouldn't be able to do that.

'Of all the work that we've done with this family,

'we have not been able to see and evidence the fact that

'Mike is willing to do these things.

'It was always Tiffany that was doing it.

'What we're now looking at is a position where

'Mike could have the sole care of Toby. That's, for me, too risky.'

OK. Did you bring your stuff?

-Is that everything he needs for tonight?

-Yeah.

-Lovely.

Have you talked to him and told him

-that he's going to stay with a lady called Jane tonight?

-No.

Do you want to just explain to him...?

Oi. You're off with them, mate. All right?

I'll see you tomorrow.

HE CRIES

It's all right, sweetie.

Mummy went to see the doctor today, darling.

Ssh, it's all right.

It's all right.

You are going to go to sleep tonight,

and when you wake up tomorrow, you can see Daddy tomorrow.

And you're going to go and stay with a lovely lady called Jane.

Honestly, you've got no chance of calming him down now.

He's going to be like that now all night.

-I don't see why you've talked me into it.

-Thank you for agreeing...

No, I haven't agreed to it yet, cos I've signed nothing.

I just don't what to talk and raise voices in front of Toby.

-He's already upset.

-I've signed nothing, have I? So it's not agreed.

Can I ask that you ring your solicitor and ask them

-to deal with this urgently?

-Don't be an idiot all your life.

Sorry to bother you.

I've got a situation that social services have put me in.

TOBY SOBS

They've basically spoken me into giving them consent

and taking my son off me for one night.

Indirectly, they're saying they don't trust me with him.

Can you tell me if that's illegal or not? Right.

So yet again, I'm getting judged?

All right. Cheers. Bye bye.

I'm seriously reconsidering... not giving you consent.

But you were OK when you came in the car and when we got out

-and when we were out here...

-There's still something iffy going on.

TOBY CRIES

What I would like to suggest is that we go with what we agreed for now.

No. You want him out of my care.

Try and stay calm with this. OK?

-Stay calm?!

-This is extremely serious.

-What grounds have you got to take him?

-We're worried about him staying with you on his own tonight,

we would like to take him into foster care...

He's my son. He's staying with me.

-So you're now withdrawing your content?

-Basically.

-You're withdrawing your consent?

-More or less. At the minute.

We can't do more or less, Mike.

We either have your consent or we don't.

At the end of the day, he's my son.

-If I want him to stay with me, he will.

-OK.

-I've got no option.

-Can I ask you to hold on here for a little bit longer

while I go and make a couple of phone calls?

He's being really quite unhelpful to that child.

Mike, can I have a word with you

away from Toby just for two minutes, please?

TOBY CRIES

He's going to want to stay with you, isn't he?

You have been given every opportunity today to try and avert...

-And you haven't worked with me.

-..to avert a problem,

and now we are in a situation...

-I'm not saying I've got grounds to take him off you...

-You haven't.

-..and I'm not trying to do that.

-Yes, you are.

I was trying to reach an agreement with you. In the absence of us

being able to reach that agreement, the responsibility is yours.

Either way, what happens now is that we are going to put

this matter before a court,

and they will make a decision about

whether or not he comes into foster care.

I'll see you guys, Broadwalk CIPS, in court.

Thank you for your cooperation, thank you for your support,

it's what you wanted, you're in court.

He's withdrawn his consent and he's gone home with Toby now.

We're going to have to get this into court ASAP.

We can't manage the risk when there's no cooperation whatsoever.

Can you ring Tiffany,

just to let her know what Mike has said tonight?

I feel so worried about him going home with him tonight.

In the bag that he sent for Toby just now,

there was a change of T-shirt and a water bottle.

-Tiffany told him what to take?

-No nappies, no toys, no...

nothing.

As they can't get a court hearing that evening,

Sallyanne asked the police to visit the home.

They find Toby awake at 10pm but he is not in distress.

The next morning, the nursery reports new concerns.

Since Dad brought him in yesterday and today, his nappy wasn't changed,

he smelled of urine. His shoes were the wrong way round.

Obviously, Toby probably put them on, he can put his shoes on, but he didn't look out for that.

Also, he didn't have lunch when he came in today

and only when they asked Angie, did he have lunch?

He said, "No, we didn't give him any."

-And he's supposed to have lunch before he comes to nursery?

-Yes, he does.

-OK.

That afternoon, the court issues an emergency protection order

considering Toby to be at risk of immediate harm.

Susanne arranges for him to go into foster care for five days.

After three days, Tiffany is unexpectedly discharged from hospital.

But social workers have decided that Toby should remain in care

and only see his parents under supervision.

You're enjoying your juice too much, aren't you?

So, you've been enjoying nursery?

Have you been going?

TOBY MURMURS TO HIMSELF

Look at Mummy.

Look at Mummy, please.

Mummy misses her cuddles.

Yeah, she does.

Oi. Oi, cheeky monkey.

Cheeky monkey.

Oi. Oi. Be nice to Mummy.

No.

No? Why not?

I think he's eager to get to school. Off you go to nursery.

See you later, bye. Bye-bye, buddy!

HE SCREAMS

Bye-bye, darling.

Come on, you. Come on, you, eh?

SHE SNIFFLES

Paul must break the news that they want to extend the care order.

-Hello, Mike. How do you think it went today?

-OK.

Quite difficult, isn't it, to say goodbye?

I know that you care about him.

Quite difficult. That's an understatement, Paul.

We are going to go back to court and submit reports and say

what we would like to happen from there is.

And what are you looking at happening?

What we're looking at happening at the moment,

we're looking at the situation as it is. We would like...

No, I'm not giving that consent on Thursday.

How long are you looking at keeping him?

What we'd be asking for is an interim care order

and then we'd be looking at what we think

is the better ongoing situation for Toby.

Whether that's a short period in foster care

whilst things get sorted out for you guys,

or whether we feel that's a more permanent solution.

To be honest, I feel like I've been punished for being pregnant and ill.

Yeah, that's exactly what's happening.

This wouldn't have happened if I was at home

to be able to look after him.

The standard of care before the pregnancy was not up

to a standard that was acceptable so...

Yeah, we were getting on top of it.

It wasn't good enough.

There's really no measurable change and we don't feel this is acceptable.

That's why we're in court.

He is staying in foster care for eight weeks.

Obviously, we're waiting for an e-mail or a phone call

with contact times and this and that.

It's only one hour long which, in my eyes, ain't even long enough.

I saw him yesterday... yesterday?

Yesterday for an hour.

Like Michael said, it's not long enough.

He can't understand why his mummy and daddy

aren't taking him home with them.

It hurts me to see him like that.

A few days later, Tiffany is readmitted to hospital.

She is 26 weeks pregnant

but is advised to stay in until the baby is born.

Pre-eclampsia can be highly dangerous, especially if you get

what's called eclampsia which is like epileptic fits but worse,

and they can be fatal.

Which they are worried that could happen.

That's why they're trying to keep me in for the duration.

When you're already stressed out

because of what's going on at home, that doesn't help.

At the end of the day, I've got to think about the baby first.

I don't really get my hopes up

because if it's another one, it's another one.

If it survives, it survives.

Toby's my seventh and my only surviving,

so I just take it as it comes now.

I've had, what? Three stillborns.

One here, one with an ex and one in hospital.

Four miscarriages.

Toby has been in care for 10 days.

The new court-order allows his parents to see him for three hours a week.

Mike's contact is being assessed by the guardian,

a child expert appointed by the court to help determine

whether Toby should return home.

Have you still got your coat on? Good boy. Go and get Dad.

Hey, mate!

Have they said owt?

Speak to you in a bit. Bye.

Hey.

Hey, mate.

WHISTLING SOUNDS FROM TOY

Oh!

TOBY HUMS AND MOANS TO HIMSELF

We're going in five minutes to Toby's nursery, OK?

MILITARY VOICES FROM TOY

Who's a clever boy? You put your bag on.

MILITARY VOICES CONTINUE

-Have you said bye-bye to Daddy? Come in so he can see you.

-See you, mate.

-Your bag.

-Oh, bag! Well-remembered, Dad.

-And your coat as well.

-Is that your coat?

-How do you think contact went today?

-All right.

Some parts of it were good, other parts I thought, as a parent,

you could probably make a bit more effort, if you like, to interact.

To get down on his level, play with him on the floor, suggest some toys,

bring some things out for him, that sort of thing.

I wrote down in my notes that it was 45 minutes

before you got up off the couch.

He tended to lead things very much himself,

which is OK for some of the time, but I think you may get

more interaction and stimulation with him if you're kind of directing it

a bit as well and talking to him and making lots of eye contact and so on.

Those things can really help children develop and move things forward.

Right.

But there were parts of it which were positive, I thought.

BABY CRIES

Two months before her due date,

the health risks to both Tiffany and baby

become so severe that she undergoes an emergency Caesarean section.

People saying, congratulations.

Yeah, it is all right to say that but till we get her out

of intensive care, we don't know exactly what's wrong with her.

31 weeks and three days, she is very, very tiny.

She's less than about four pounds in weight. She's got to be.

Two months later, the baby has left hospital

but the court has determined that like her brother,

she should be placed in foster care.

The baby girl is brought to a neutral location to see her parents.

Tiffany's turned up alone.

I'm not going out with Michael any more.

We got in a big row over something and he hit me

and left a big bruise on my shoulder.

So everything is just up in the air at the moment.

It's the first time in Tiffany's life that she's been alone.

I've got my support worker helping me

basically get my parenting skills up to where they should be,

but I've been diagnosed by the doctors with depression.

So I've been put on medication for that.

It is getting a bit too much.

It does put some stupid thoughts into your head.

If it wasn't for my friends supporting me,

I don't think that I'd be sat here now.

Give me a kiss? Yeah?

In we goes.

I've had to move to a different area away from Michael.

Haven't heard anything from him. On the one hand, that's kind of good.

On the other hand, I was with him for, like, six years.

And Roisin's gone into temporary foster care like Toby

but into a different home, so they've been separated.

I'm not sure if they've met each other yet or not.

On certain terms, I do feel a bit more confident that, yes,

I could do things differently this time.

On the other hand, I'm afraid that I would make mistakes.

The social workers have a new challenge,

to decide whether Tiffany is capable of being a single parent.

I hope that Tiffany can do it.

It makes you nearly feel a failure because she feels a failure.

You kind of feel you've failed in your job to try to help

provide for the needs of their children.

She does say, "I don't know who I am.

"I've been controlled by so many people

"and now finally I'm trying to be who I am."

She says, "I know I'm a mum and I need to be that,"

but in some ways, she hasn't quite found herself yet.

I've expressed very clearly to her, that if I have to stand up in the end

of this care proceedings and argue that the children should remain

in foster care, it would be very heart-breaking for me as well

because I generally would like to think that she can care for her children.

One, two, three!

Toby has now been in foster care for three months.

There are signs he is beginning to thrive.

-Big fire engine!

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

His speech is coming on a little bit more.

He's been a lot more happier, behaved a bit more.

He's not been as aggressive which has been nice.

To see him thrive is so nice to see.

It's just such a beautiful thing to see, to see him laugh, see him smile.

See his humour develop.

He was cross with the whole world around him,

probably angry that they wouldn't meet his needs.

He can communicate with you now.

He can tell you what's wrong with him, what he wants.

He can make signs.

That's why you go in to do social work,

because you can make some changes.

Toby is tidying and then going to nursery in Nikki's car. OK?

High five! Good boy! Mummy will see you later. Mind your fingers.

In June, eight months after social workers first got involved,

Tiffany makes a monumental decision.

I've been doing quite a lot of thinking lately.

I've come up with a conclusion that it would be better for the kids

to go into adoption because...

..they'll be able to get the better care that they need.

It was a very hard decision to make.

I didn't really want to make it but I had to.

Press the button!

# The wheels on the bus go round and round

# Round and round, round and round. #

It's really amazing, what Tiffany has done for her children

and also for herself.

I'm very sure that she will grasp this as an opportunity to sort out

her past, to really get herself on track and make healthy relationships.

This case will probably stay with me for my whole life

because I will always think about Toby

and will hope that he is doing all right now.

Later on in life, the children will see

that what I done was for the best of them.

Love them, so very much.

There won't be a day or let alone a minute

that I wouldn't be thinking about them.

They will have a happier life where they're going to go.

Finished. All done! Well done, Toby!

# Twinkle, twinkle, little star

# How I wonder what you are. #

Next week on Protecting Our Children:

What has happened for Marva is absolutely incredible.

It's the stuff that we as social workers hope.

If you want to find out more about the daily lives of social workers, go to...

..and follow the links to the Open University.

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