Episode 5 Second Chance Summer: Tuscany

TRANSLATION:

Maurizio's farm in the southern Tuscan hills is up for sale.

Before he sells,

he's handing over the running of his business to ten strangers.

-Hello.

-Oh, hello.

Bottoms up.

They all share the same dream...

I am too young to go in my rocking chair quite yet.

..of starting a new life in Italy.

Being a farmer, living in Tuscany is what I should be doing.

But this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity

comes with responsibility.

-What have you done all morning?

-You will not get an answer from me.

By taking over the whole farm, they must tend the 13-acre vineyard...

This is really, really hard work.

..and five acres of olive trees...

The little babies are starting to be made into oil.

..as well as breathe new life into the bed and breakfast...

I can't quite believe this is happening.

..and serve food to paying customers.

Come with us to our...ristorante.

This is their chance to put their dreams to the test.

-MAN ON PHONE:

-'Due, zero, due.'

We perhaps need someone who speaks Italian to know what that's saying.

After two months,

will any of the group decide to buy the farm together...

I'd never be able to afford to do this sort of thing on my own.

..or will they find other ways to make Tuscany their new home?

What could possibly go wrong?

It's autumn in Tuscany.

You got everything?

Yes. OK.

I shall see you ladies later.

What a fantastic geezer.

There you are. Don't say I never think of you.

After living at La Banditaccia for over five weeks,

the group have just a fortnight left

to discover if making the life-changing decision

to move to Italy is right for them.

Tuscany does something to you.

It has this magic about it.

It grabs hold of you.

What it's given me is a reboot

and to kind of look at my life again and say,

"Right, you need to get yourself going, get yourself busy."

It very much feels to me like an opportunity for a new future.

The longer you stay in Tuscany, the more you feel that you could

start being part of the life here.

I've actually falling in love with this whole area. I love it.

TRANSLATION:

Gill? Do you want some more coffee?

Yes, please.

Buongiorno.

Buongiorno.

I've never eaten so many avocados.

OK, I've made a bit of a mess of that one.

Since arriving at La Banditaccia,

the group have harvested the farm's main crops,

run a restaurant and expanded the bed and breakfast.

One of the great things about being out here is actually

it's given me a chance to do something for myself.

-Right, toast is there.

-Thanks. Yum.

'It's been a real revelation, actually,

'having the options and the choices

'because, you know, if you're bringing up children,'

you spend your life thinking about them first.

It's a big day at the farm

and the group are sprucing up the grounds

in preparation for some important visitors.

It's such a nice view.

It'd be really nice to sit here and look at the view

that they could have if they use this room.

Event hosting is an established revenue stream for farms with

agriturismo status in Tuscany

and the group have received an enquiry from a couple

looking for a venue for their wedding reception.

So when they arrive, think it'd be better to give them

-a little tour first of what we've got in mind?

-Yeah.

With the local couple visiting today,

Karen and Gill hope to convince them

that the farm is the perfect location for their celebrations.

So what we need to find out from them,

-whether they've got any ideas in their head already.

-Yeah.

If not, we can steer them to the fact that this is actually

a great room for a dinner.

'I've done a few bits and pieces, event management, catering.

'I love weddings.'

I love all the organising and the...

I don't know, just making everything a perfect day. I love that feeling.

And then of course it's romantic. It's... That's what it's all about.

TRANSLATION:

DOG BARKS

-Oh, look at Matisse. Hi.

-I'm Roberto. Nice to meet you.

-Giorgia.

-I'm Gill.

-I'm Karen. Hi.

-Roberto.

-And Margo.

-Margo.

Hi, Margo.

So, welcome.

-Would you like to see...

-Yeah.

..have a look and we can talk and you say if you have ideas?

-I'm sorry for my English.

-No. Sorry for our Italian.

-Zero.

It's fine. It's fine.

Roberto and Giorgia's wedding is in just a few days' time

and they're looking for a last-minute venue

that fits their rustic theme.

This is lovely here. And the view is beautiful.

-With good weather. Yes.

-Yeah. The view. Why not? Yes.

So...come and see. Come and look at the window.

You have to see the view.

TRANSLATION:

-We look every day, Montelaterone.

-OK.

-Beautiful view.

TRANSLATION:

This is very nice. Very nice. I like very much this.

TRANSLATION:

Do you have an idea of what you'd like to eat?

-OK. That's fine.

-Yeah.

-OK.

-Yes.

-We'll see what we can do.

-Yes.

So, can you see your wedding here?

Yes.

Are you happy? Do you feel like we can work...

-Happy, happy, happy, happy. I'm very happy.

-All right.

With the happy couple on board,

Karen and Gill are now in charge of feeding and entertaining

40 wedding guests on a budget of 5,000 euros.

-They were such a lovely couple.

-It obviously means so much.

-I know.

-I want to get it right.

-Yeah, I want to get it right.

We want to get it right. Yeah, it's quite a responsibility, really.

-Right.

-Come on, let's crack on.

-Yeah. What time is it?

Although La Banditaccia's olive harvest is over,

for Andy and Gavin there is one final job to complete.

If we're ever going to make a million pounds out of this,

we're going to have to figure out a faster production method and

a faster canning method.

Having had olives pressed at a local mill, they're decanting

the oil to share with Maurizio, the owner of the farm.

One.

HE LAUGHS

I particularly like the sterile environment we're operating in.

I think that's wonderful.

-Hey, it's a rustic farm and a Tuscany olive grove.

-I know.

-But we've got donkey poo just behind you.

-Not behind me, I hope.

I don't want to tread in it.

Life is full of doing firsts

and experiencing new experiences, so, yeah, I've run an olive harvest.

I've got slight drippage.

-Unfortunately...

-It's your age, mate. Don't worry.

-It happens.

-It's quite normal at your age.

Yeah, I get it. I get the passion - the texture, the scent, the taste.

I've learnt a lot and it's something I like.

What I'm looking forward to now

is to find out whether I definitely want to stay here.

TRANSLATION:

Oh, that smells great.

-Getting close, Lesley.

-That's looking lovely.

Guys, steaks are on the table when you want them.

Mm. So, what do they all think, really, about the wedding?

I think the bottom line is we're all aware of the fact that

this is something that's really, really important to somebody's day.

-It's a serious thing, a wedding, isn't it?

-Yeah. Yeah.

-If we really pulled it off, I'd feel quite proud.

-It would be nice.

Next three days are going to be really busy, I think.

Weddings are massive to organise. You know, it is all in the planning.

I think it will be great if everyone does pull together.

Frankly, it would scare the hell out of me

to be in charge of something like that.

You know, to be the one that's responsible

-for creating the whole...

-Ambience.

-The whole thing.

And if you mess it up, you can't redo it, can you?

It's a huge undertaking.

I think certain people could make a success of it but they're

going to have a lot of help.

And we all know how we would be,

-so you'd expect the same of other people.

-Exactly.

And actually there's going to be so much going on, actually we all

need to be here to do things.

It's early morning at La Banditaccia.

My God, what's in here?

Oh.

Oh!

God knows what that is. Oh, I don't know.

I think it might be something dead.

Eurgh!

Hey. Fresh milk. There is a God.

-Gavin, just the person I was looking for.

-Why?

You're not looking very busy. You can move furniture.

-Huh?

-Can't you?

-Oh!

-Where's Andy?

-Uh?

Rob and Rob are supposed to do the furniture move. Where are they?

Well, Rob's doing something.

-He's gone to get the benches and the table.

-Mm. You know me.

-I know.

-I'm delighted to help any way I can.

-I know.

With the wedding due to take place in three days' time,

it's all hands on deck.

I'm sorry if you get your white shirt dirty.

So we need to move this big white leather sofa over to the annexe.

Make sure you bend your knees cos if you bend your back...

Oh, you're the man. You sit there and offer advice!

-LAUGHTER

-Come on!

Show him how to bend his knees as he's lifting something really heavy.

I'll bend your bloody knees in a minute, I'll tell you.

-That's it. Right, keep going.

-Cheers. That's all right.

Everything needs to be done at the last minute.

Move furniture, organise flowers,

people going here, there and everywhere to pick things up.

It's...

It's a bit of a logistical nightmare, really.

-Right, come in now.

-Got you.

-Coming up.

-Got you.

-Next up.

But it's fine. You know, we've got two more days.

-Got it?

-Got it.

You realise I'm the oldest... I'm the oldest male in this group?

Why am I doing this?

-I think it looks really pretty.

-Yeah.

-And really natural. Don't you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, love it.

I don't know what the Italian version of that is, though.

Naturale.

Naturale? Did you just make that up?

No. Well, I don't know. But it sounds right.

We're all very enthusiastic, I think, because it's just...

You know, brings back memories, happy memories.

I got married when I was really young. I was 20.

I married an Army officer and we had a great life.

We lived all over the place.

We lived in Northern Ireland, we lived in Hong Kong,

we lived in Brunei.

I had Catherine when I was 30 and then I had Ellie when I was 35.

It was a really nice life.

I think marriage is...

It is a really special thing cos it's kind of like a recognition

that you've found someone

that you really want to be with

for the rest of your life and

that's what I genuinely believe too.

But it didn't work out and

when it doesn't happen, it just kind of floors you a bit, really.

In your life, you always get major turning points and, sadly,

getting a divorce is a huge turning point but, at the end of the day...

you can still be looking for happiness.

It's so beautiful.

This is just going to be amazing if it's like this on Saturday.

-That would be lovely.

-It'd be perfect.

-Yeah.

If you take the benches one at a time,

you'll probably need Andy to give you a hand on the tables.

LAUGHTER

Are you really tired of living, you, or what?

What is going on in here?

I've got a feeling we might have just a couple too many tables.

Well, this is what was ordered.

With an entire four-course Tuscan banquet to arrange from scratch...

..Karen and Gill head out to source all the ingredients they need.

We've got a few key phrases, I think,

to try and sort out what we want.

-40 in my head for everything.

-Quaranta is 40.

The bride and groom have requested a rustic hog roast

for their main course so the ladies are visiting local caterers

Signore and Signora Puggioni.

TRANSLATION:

Same. The same.

Where did you write it down?

I'm feeling excited about it but the main problem that we have here

is that there is this language barrier.

That's a huge problem because obviously you have to be

quite specific about what you want and it's always a worry

that you're not asking for the right thing.

Perfect.

What do we say?

Where's the list? Where did you write it down?

40.

I can't imagine going anywhere or someone going anywhere

and not try to communicate

in the common language everybody speaks.

Could you say again?

"Lente". Slowly?

Slowly?

Again? Can you say it?

Here they don't speak English.

You need to learn a few words.

-OK, so that's... Yes.

-40 per person.

-Si.

-Si. Si. Si.

Perfect.

-Grazie.

-Grazie.

Like all classic Italian meals,

Giorgia and Roberto are also expecting a pasta course...

-ALL:

-Buonasera.

..so Karen and Gill are visiting Signora Iside...

OK.

..a local cook with an excellent reputation

for handmade pasta and gnocchi.

-Ah, the pici.

-Pici.

And the gnocchi.

-Tutti?

-I'm thinking the gnocchi and the pici.

Gnocchi e pici.

Perfect.

It's easier now to converse.

I find myself understanding a lot more, yes, just by looking at

the mannerisms and you can just... And you pick up the odd word

and then think, "Yeah, I think I know what they're talking about."

Si. Si.

I think... I think we've understood.

-150?

-Yes.

-So that's well within our budget. That's...

-Perfect.

A good deal was definitely done. I'm really happy with the price.

I was expecting it to be quite cheap, actually.

-Grazie.

-Grazie. Ciao.

-Ciao.

-Ciao. Arrivederci.

Well, that went well.

On the other side of the valley...

-After you, old boy.

-Grazie.

I'll tell you what, I'm hungry.

..Andy and Gavin have gone out for dinner

to talk about their future in Tuscany.

I want to try sprechen...er... parli in italiano.

THEY READ THE MENU SLOWLY

He tries.

Mit... Oh, that's German.

Er...

HE SPEAKS ITALIAN SLOWLY

Nonna. Nonna. Nonna.

When you try and speak Italian, OK,

what you do is it's a combination of German, Spanish and English.

-Si.

-It's almost like your own language.

Si!

Buonasera!

-Como esta?

-Bene.

-Grazie.

-That's Spanish. Como esta is Spanish.

-No, it's Italian.

No, that's Spanish.

THEY LAUGH

You still thinking you're definitely going to come back?

I know there's a lot of questions you have to answer and...

-There's an awful lot of hurdles in between.

-Oh, yeah.

But however...

there's an awful lot of positives.

I never even thought I'd have a passion for olives, as I do...

and see myself as an olive farmer.

Why do you think that you got more excited about olives than you did...

-the wine?

-I think it's because you make it and it's instant

and you don't have to wait

before you actually get the product.

This is giving me a second chance to change my life path.

I'm at the junction now and I'd be an idiot not to change direction.

What I would love to do is actually find an olive grove

that I could start looking after.

Olives are my excuse to stay in Tuscany.

TRANSLATION:

DOG BARKS

KNOCK ON DOOR

Hello?

We've got a wedding to organise.

-It's eight o'clock.

-Is it?

-Yes.

It's Friday morning, the day before the wedding.

-Do you want coffee? I'll make you some coffee.

-Yes.

-Oh!

We've got to make lots of noise to get everybody else up now.

-Is it really eight o'clock?

-Yeah.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Gavin, it's eight o'clock.

I really want the wedding to work out well.

I want it to be the most amazing day,

I want them to talk about it, how it was their dream come true.

So, for me, that would be my ultimate goal.

OK, the wedding's tomorrow. Just wondered how you're getting on.

I know you guys were doing the grounds

and moving stuff from the portico.

We're moving the portico stuff this afternoon, aren't we?

-Yeah.

-And the wine?

-As soon as the truck's back,

I'll go and get that, then we can come back and then we can finish.

Everything needs to be in position ready for tomorrow

so no-one's moving things around, everything's done.

So tomorrow it's just the food. OK, perfect. Let's go. We need to go.

-It's really beautiful around here.

-Is that rosemary?

-Yeah. Smell it.

-I didn't even look that close.

-It's rosemary.

In keeping with the rustic theme, Karen and Gill are decorating

the farm with wild foliage, foraged from the surrounding countryside.

-It's really pretty. It's perfect.

-Right.

For Karen, this isn't the first time

she's tried to pursue her dream of a new life abroad.

As a married couple, we kind of had thought we'd quite like to

change our lifestyle a bit and we just thought it'd be really nice

to leave England, do something different,

change our lifestyle, bring the girls up in a French way of life.

We had actually thought that we might move to France.

What we were going to do was actually go and buy somewhere

and run it as a little boutique hotel but it didn't work out...

..and it was like the seed that started...

that started sort of the meltdown, really.

It was really that my husband I don't think wanted to go.

I think he got cold feet...

and we ended up, down the line, getting divorced.

I think the dream of living abroad has never really gone away.

I think sometimes when you have dreams, you push them to the back

and other things become more important for a while but I think

you have to try, you have to step out of your comfort zone sometimes.

Life would be really boring if you didn't.

It's early afternoon and a delivery has arrived from the local florist.

GILL HUMS A FANFARE

Oh, that's her bouquet. Oh, that's beautiful.

-Look at that.

-Oh.

-It's so not what we wanted.

-But it's not what we wanted.

-We wanted flowers.

-We ordered flowers.

Lots of different coloured flowers. We've got all the foliage out there.

There's a load of stuff here that we didn't really need.

I can't see any bright coloured flowers here.

-Anyway, I just think we're going to have to work with it.

-Yeah.

Every problem has a solution.

-I'll tell you what we should do, though, is put these in water.

-OK.

-Cos these are a definite.

-OK, so...

-Put them in your bidet.

-Yeah. OK.

-I'll put them in the bidet.

Not quite what we ordered but they're still beautiful.

I'm sure you'll make it work.

What a palaver.

Erm...OK.

What shape shall we have?

Working with what she's got, Lesley makes a start on the flowers.

Flower arranging, I've never actually done any.

I've never studied it, never done anything with it apart from

shove flowers in vases at home or in an Oasis at home.

I didn't do the flowers at my wedding.

I think I was preoccupied with everything else

so it was last thing on my mind.

I am a romantic at heart.

I read books all the time that always encompass that sort of

romance.

If a guy opens the door for me,

I think I still blush and say, "Thank you."

I always love weddings because you go into it with

so much hope and dreams...

and I don't want to be too cynical cos it is somebody else's wedding

and I do wish them all the very best and I hope they're happy.

Having done it myself twice,

I thought I'd made the right decision but...

SHE LAUGHS

..not always right.

My first wedding, it was lovely.

I was the blushing bride in the beautiful dress,

the typical church music and the reception afterwards

and a honeymoon in Miami.

The second wedding was a little bit different.

I decided that I was going to get married

in this beautiful red scarlet dress and it was a bit like

my sort of fantasy of Gone With The Wind

with Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara.

I can't remember actually. When was the last wedding I went to?

Going to more funerals than weddings now.

This is what happens when you get old.

I think any romance or anything like that, if it came along,

obviously it would be welcoming...

..right, to a degree.

But I'm not looking for it and I don't need it.

I believe now, when we get to this age,

whatever comes along, comes along.

That's beautiful. Have you done a course?

Honestly, I'm getting goose bumps.

-Girl, you are off the chart. You've done a superb job.

-Thank you.

CHURCH BELL RINGS

It's late afternoon and, having paid 150 euros to the pasta maker,

Karen and Gill have had word

that they haven't entirely settled the bill.

-Buongiorno.

-Buongiorno.

-Buongiorno.

We have some money for you...

to pay. Mi scusi.

TRANSLATION:

Ah, si, si.

-Ah, si.

-So we've paid you 150 and the...

Si, si.

Si.

-OK, the difference is.

-OK.

-OK. 650.

OK. Si.

No problem.

-Grazie. OK.

-OK.

-Grazie.

-From 650 to 150.

-Have you got it?

-I hope so.

OK.

That's quite a difference.

-Don't we look like prize chumps?

-Again.

-Again.

She doesn't speak English, we don't speak Italian,

so it was a struggle anyway.

I think that's where it went a bit wrong.

She was very sweet about it. She obviously completely understands

that we're useless.

How are you doing? Nice to see you.

Back at the farm,

Andy thinks he may have found a way to pursue his new-found passion.

Beautiful views.

-Seggiano. Seggiano village.

-Seggiano? Si.

-Seggiano.

I am very interested in the olive,

in learning and doing the olive, oliva cultivation...

..and I have an idea. What I would like to do is that...

I could come and...

prune and cultivate and look after the olives for the next harvest.

It's a good idea but the work is a lot.

-Si.

-A lot. Because all the plants need pruning...

-Si.

..and we have in the farm 1,300 plants.

So I think what he's saying is the work involved...

-Is a lot.

-You can't do it yourself. It's got to be done professionally.

What do I do now? I'm nearly at the end of my time here.

I don't want to go back to what I did before,

so therefore I have to start looking around and see what the options are,

but I'm going to succeed.

There is no giving up.

TRANSLATION:

It's early evening at the farm... PHONE RINGS

..and the wedding preparations are still in full swing.

-Hello?

-'Right, we do have a bit of an issue here, I'm afraid.'

She's got a wonderful list of all the things you've ordered,

however she's not sure what you're cooking

'so she's not idea about quantity of any of these things.'

Lesley and Tracy are in Castel del Piano,

picking up the vegetables to accompany the hog roast.

'We actually ordered all of this in advance'

so everything was meant to be ready for you to pick up.

-'That was the whole point.'

-It isn't. There's nothing here.

'The only thing she knows is that you ordered

'three kilograms of cherry tomatoes.'

You've got to know the menu to know how many zucchinis you want

or how many whatever it is or fennels you want.

'Do you know what I mean?

'So if you tell me the menu, she can then work it out.'

So we're roasting the vegetables, so we're roasting aubergine,

red pepper, yellow pepper, green pepper and red onions.

That's it, isn't it?

No red. No yellow. Oh, she's got red.

-OK, all right, that's fine.

-'Red, green, red onions.'

Just get more red than green, OK? Masses of garlic.

-How much?

-Masses.

-Massive?

-'Masses, you know, like a large quantity.'

'How much is a large quantity?'

I'm just looking round. OK. She has a string, right?

There's 24 garlics on a string.

Shall we just get the string? That's fine. Just get the string.

Are those the main courses?

There's nothing else that I need to know what your cooking?

-We're not cooking anything else but we also...

-'I'll work it out.'

So hang with me, we might be another half an hour at least.

-'Call if there's a problem.'

-I will. Thank you so much.

-See you, bye.

-'See you later, bye.'

Tracy's gone to have a nervous breakdown, I think,

and I'm just about to join her.

I don't know. Breakdown in communication. Anyway...

I think it'll be fine.

DOG BARKS

It's 7.30 and Lesley and Tracy have returned to the farm.

-We've been shopping.

-God. How much was it, by the way?

-450.

-450 euros?

-Yeah. Why, didn't you think it was going to be that much?

I don't know what to say. I'm a bit...

I'm a bit dumbstruck to be honest.

-Do you know how much it cost?

-No.

-450 euros.

The unexpected extra expenditure

means the wedding is now over budget.

I think probably the pressure is on Gill and I a bit

because we're planning it.

It is a big deal because, again,

it's the financial implication on the farm.

You can put just a little bit of paper underneath if you want.

I think what's become very clear is that the romantic vision of

having a B&B and a place people would use for their weddings

is completely different to the reality of it

and I think, you know, reality dawns on you a bit

and, after five weeks, you're going to see the real...

the real way of life rather than just imagining it.

-Is there anything else that can actually go wrong?

-Don't say that.

I think possibly parts of this life could be for me.

I'm not sure all of it would be.

I'm just hoping that the mini disasters that have happened today

won't happen tomorrow.

As the big day dawns,

the whole group are already up

and preparations are under way.

He's carrying a hay bale.

There's nothing more manly than carrying a hay bale.

I'm amazed at your manliness.

Andy and Gavin are cleaning the farm's pick-up truck

ready to ferry the happy couple to the service and reception.

This is their Rolls-Royce. Yeah, going rustic style. Yeah.

They dream of being conveyed in a 4X4.

Oh, no, it'd be fun.

Actually it gets me out of running around prepping food and stuff.

Chi's doing the wedding photography.

She was going to do a bit of practising.

I said, "I'm here."

CHI LAUGHS

I tried all the poses, you know? Hay bale. Tried everything.

She's not interested.

His idea of being a model is just enough to give me an eye ache.

After the ceremony at one o'clock,

the guests are due at the farm an hour later

ready for the wedding banquet at three o'clock.

You know, it's hard to imagine that what we do for ten,

-you've got to actually do four times as many.

-Exactly.

It's actually horrifying, the thought of that.

With the main and pasta course catered,

Karen and Gill are responsible for cooking everything else,

and there's no shortage of vegetables to be prepped.

I could see vegetable soup in our future.

HE LAUGHS

Today's the big day and obviously that is

the biggest day of their lives.

You feel that pressure and responsibility because it's...

you know, it's such a good day, such a special day.

OK, I've just realised it's 20 to 10 and the hog roast man is not here.

-He said nine o'clock. I'm sure we didn't get that wrong.

-Italian time.

-You do understand this is Italy.

-Give him until ten.

I suppose the main stress today would be people not turning up

when they said they were going to, cos it's crucial.

Like the hog roast man. Without him, we're stuffed.

The pasta lady. Without her, we're stuffed.

So it's really...

I suppose the worst thing is relying on other people.

I'm sure they'll... you know, they'll deliver

but it's just... It's a bit nerve-racking.

OK, so I think this morning is just about food prep.

Everyone else knows what they're doing.

Do you want to... put a spoon in your mouth?

Have you got some goggles?

Here you go.

I promise it works. I'm not just doing it to make you look stupid.

SHE LAUGHS

It's only to stop you talking!

Now en route to go to the bride's house to pick her up.

I hope I can do that without getting lost.

I have to say, I'm slightly nervous.

I have never driven for a wedding before.

I have driven in convoys,

giving close protection to members of the royal family,

but never for a wedding.

So this will be a first.

Everybody has a fear of growing old and being lonely,

being the old man saddo who lives in the cottage on his Jack Jones,

cos nobody wants to live their last days of their life on their own.

I've had a couple of marriages, I've been in a number of

relationships, long-term, but what I've learnt is about myself.

Where I failed in my relationships is that I put the job first.

I'm totally at fault. It was all my fault.

So therefore...

..I want to make sure I don't do that to anybody else.

If I find somebody, I want us to be happy, collectively, together.

Basically just having someone there to support you

and for you to support them, so it's got to be both ways, equal.

Someone who you look at and you just go, "Wow!"

Just love them, just by being in their presence.

CHURCH BELL RINGS

It's just after midday and, in the village of Montelaterone,

bride-to-be Giorgia is about to leave her home.

APPLAUSE

TRANSLATION:

Bridegroom Roberto and his family are gathering at the town hall.

-Beautiful.

-Thank you.

-Enjoy.

TRANSLATION:

APPLAUSE

Grazie.

THEY SPEAK ITALIAN

TRANSLATION:

HE SPEAKS ITALIAN

TRANSLATION:

TRANSLATION:

At La Banditaccia,

Signore Puggioni has arrived and set up the hog roast.

It's all good.

Why didn't he cook a whole one, then? Why did he slice it?

-That is... No, that is a full one.

-That's a half of one.

No, it's the way they prepare it. Pulled back like that, ribcage.

It does look like a bit of roadkill out there.

With the hog roast cooking,

attention turns to the first two courses.

-Pasta lady's now...

-Currently two hours late.

-..two hours late.

There's Italian time and... maybe she's not coming.

OK, the guests are walking down the drive now.

VOICEMAIL ON PHONE

It's her voicemail.

She's quite important cos she's got the pasta for the first course

-and then she's got the antipasto as well.

-I know.

-OK?

-Yes.

-Thank you.

It's 2.30.

Roberto and Giorgia are ready to make their formal entrance,

signalling the beginning of festivities.

It does feel a bit like Downton, doesn't it?

Good to see you, my lord.

LAUGHTER

Oh, look!

CHEERING

Oh, my God! Don't do that.

They cost a fortune.

CHEERING

Guys, does anyone know what "congratulations" is in Italian?

I don't know. I have got my dictionary,

but it's down in my bedroom.

-Ciao, congratulation. Congratulation. Thank you.

-Prego.

-Congratulations, guys. There you go. Congratulations.

-Thank you.

-Congratulations.

-Thank you.

It's nice to end the set like this.

It's a beautiful day. It's a wedding. Nice young couple. It's...

It's not work, is it? Not really.

It's like socialising without drinking.

You're seeing families together and enjoying themselves and kids

running around and you do tend to think of your family and how

you'd like to spend some more time with them.

Obviously, my family's getting smaller. I've lost my mum, my dad.

Close family is absolutely very important.

In terms of marriage,

I obviously didn't get married in the normal timeframe.

I did eventually get married. I was 48 years old.

That didn't work out, unfortunately.

I regret being stuck in neutral or whatever you want to call it.

I've had a lot of opportunities in life I could have done better with.

And I'll never know why I didn't. I really don't.

I could have been so much more than I am.

It's not the easiest thing in the world to meet people,

when you get to a certain age.

So...yeah, so if you're 25 or 35 or 45,

just do it. Get on with it.

Hm.

This might be a pasta lady, girls.

OK. It's the gnocchi.

In the nick of time,

Senora Ezede has arrived with the first two courses.

It's very frustrating.

It's OK doing Italian time, but that was, like, silly o'clock.

You know, that was really close to the mark.

Can I get them in seated?

Yeah.

Oh, my God. Where are we going to put everything?

OK, so these two are for the bride and the groom, these two.

I'm just trying to work out how the corkscrew works.

Scusa.

CHEERING

Do you want to take the big one?

With guests seated and food plated, service begins.

CHEERING

All yours?

Just yours? Wow!

They're just eating and eating and eating a bit more.

And eating more and...

They don't take long to clear the plates.

It's shoosh! You know, as soon as you're putting it down, it's off.

It's a bit manic, really. This is a bit intense.

Production line, eh?

Erm...I haven't got any more.

I can do another one.

-One more, please, then.

-OK, blimey.

I'm just really surprised at how quickly they want to eat.

-You are ready for the food?

-Pasta, yes.

-Yeah, pasta is your next course?

-The guests are ready, yes.

-OK.

With 40 hungry Italians waiting,

Karen commences cooking the fresh pasta and gnocchi.

OK, ready, steady.

God!

LAUGHTER

Quick, Tracy! Don't laugh, help!

LAUGHTER

God!

LAUGHTER

Good. This is...

This is the really critical thing about the fresh pasta,

that if you cook the gnocchi from

frozen and then literally as the water

comes back up to the boil, it means it's ready, so if you leave

it any longer, it turns into, like, a lumpy, gluey mess.

So it's really critical. And then you put the salt in as well, after.

-It's not coming back up to the boil very quick.

-No.

When you think it's frozen,

it's going to take a little while, isn't it?

Oh, that's ready.

Mine's ready. I'm going to have to go.

Oh, that's a bit... Eugh!

-It's cold.

-It's cold?

It's seriously cold.

-Put it back in.

-Oh, lucky you tasted it.

It's OK.

This looks like... Ooh.

Nah, just cover it with the sauce. Quickly!

-Well done.

-Yeah, I think we're just going to cover it up.

-Right, shimmy it around with the fork.

-Let's just pour it over it.

Pour it over it.

This is not our finest hour, it has to be said, but hey, what the hell?!

It's fine. Do you want to take that, Les?

-Is it edible?

-Course it is.

Come on, don't waste time in the kitchen! Quickly! Come on.

CHEERING

SHOUTING

Gnocchi a ragu.

More coming.

-It's very hard to do gnocchi. It really is.

-Yeah.

It's not supposed to be cooked that way.

It's supposed to be about two handfuls in a pan that big.

-Tomatoes over here.

-Yes, please.

With the wedding guests less than impressed with the gnocchi, Karen

and Gill serve up what they hope will be the highlight of the menu.

-Si.

-Si.

-Perfecto. Grazie.

Slow-roasted pork accompanied by braised Tuscan vegetables and

patate della nonna.

-Beautiful.

-Mm!

-Mm!

In general, I think the pressure's off

a bit because the main course has been served and all the

vegetables are out, the potatoes are out, and the pork is ready.

CHEERING

-Complimente tutto buorno.

-Grazie mille.

Thank you so much.

Grazie mille. Grazie mille.

I'm not sure who he was,

but he specifically called me over and said, "Congratulations.

"Bravo, bravo." He was a bit drunk, but, you know...

Listen, I'll take a compliment from a drunk man any day. I don't care.

-That's 12 hours in the kitchen straight.

-Oh, excellent.

-Must be a record.

-I think it was a nice day, but I'm not sure.

The pudding is going to be their wedding cake,

so hopefully we can just, like, phew...

-Looks pretty good, doesn't it?

-Wedding cake, beautiful.

Ow. Oh, NO!

SHE GASPS

Oh, my God! Karen!

Karen, crisis! Crisis!

I just tripped over a box and squished my hand onto the

bottom of the bloody cake.

SHE GASPS

-No, you didn't.

-I... Come here! Look at how, look!

LAUGHTER

-I just tripped over the box.

-I thought you were joking.

I thought you were honestly joking. I thought...

I thought someone had set you up.

Let's have a look, let's have a look...

-How are you going to do that?

-Yeah, just cut it.

Gill and I have had a great day.

I don't think you would go through this sort of situation without,

you know, having a good bond.

That's fine. No-one will ever know now.

Karen has been a really great friend.

Really loved having her here.

No, the funny thing was, is that you didn't believe me!

No, I know!

We have such a laugh. I don't know what it is.

Yeah, she's like my new sister.

CHEERING

APPLAUSE

CHEERING

Even though there were kind of

a few things that didn't go quite to plan, we did really pull together.

It's one of the best things that we've done as a team.

Well, all I can say is I think tonight went really, really well

and I think congratulations to our two chefs.

-To everybody.

-The bandits of Banditaccia.

The bandits of Banditaccia. Cheers.

Broadly speaking, we had eight amateurs who managed to pull

off a wedding for 35, 40 people without a hitch.

Yeah, I think we should be pretty proud of that.

Personally, I think I did everything I possibly could

to make the wedding a success.

So I think I can say I've got a sense of achievement from it, yeah.

It's been a real revelation, actually, that I can do

something for myself and it's been quite liberating, really.

SHOUTING

HE SPEAKS ITALIAN

Go across. Get in there, Andy.

The group get a taste of rural Tuscan traditions...

I think the longer you stay in Tuscany, the more you kind of

'feel that you could start being part of the life here.'

I just saw it across there.

I'm going to be absolutely loaded by the time I finish doing this.

..and Rob gets an offer he can't refuse.

It's like somebody saying, "Here's your dream job." Cheers.