Episode 1 The Real Marigold on Tour

Where in the world would you choose to spend your golden years?

Four well-known pensioners last met experiencing retirement in India.

Now, they're embarking on a new and very different voyage of discovery.

-How are you?

-Still here.

-How's the old knees?

-The knee is good, look.

-Ooh, hello.

-What do you think?

-Very sexy.

-Do you mind if I touch it?

-No, no. Cop a feel, cop a feel.

-Oh, yeah.

-It's not bad, is it?

-Hi!

-Hello!

You took me by surprise.

Oh, it's so nice to see you!

Hi!

-Now we're all complete.

-Give us a kiss, then.

Group hug.

It's lovely to have another chance to travel with people you like.

Especially Bobby...

-LONDON ACCENT:

-..because he teaches me how to talk, you know?

I think I need a few lessons like that,

because I've got this posh voice and it gets in the way, you know?

Kyoto.

This time the group are travelling the globe

to explore how other countries deal with growing old.

I am cooking in a Japanese kitchen!

From the secrets of long life in Japan...

Lovely jubbly.

..to the quest for eternal youth in Florida's retirement paradise.

How many face-lifts have you had?

Ten.

It's the good life. Nobody's miserable here.

How could you be miserable? Everybody's happy.

I'm interested to find out what it's like in other countries

when you get old.

How you live.

You've turned me to drink.

Oh!

Is it now or never?

It's just the beginning, darling.

Who knows? It might be better somewhere else.

And if it's better, I'm going.

This programme contains some strong language.

Come on, hurry up.

Over here!

Bloody hell!

Rosemary, Miriam, Wayne and Bobby are in Florida,

considered one of the world's best-known retirement spots.

I'm just giving myself up for this experience.

The group have all been to the States before,

but this time they're road-testing the OAP version

of the American dream.

-You all right, son?

-Yeah.

-ROSEMARY:

-Are you all right?

-Hang on, don't put...steady on.

-MIRIAM:

-Bloody hell, it's a mountain to get into.

It's really big, isn't it?

-WAYNE:

-Do you want me to push?

I loathe Florida, it has vulgarity stamped all over it,

so I'm hoping I will learn something

that will teach me things that I can enjoy there.

I've just got to get used to the whip.

Ha-ha, as the actress said to the bishop.

I'm not going to speak to anyone, I'm going to concentrate on driving.

That'll be a miracle.

The group will be living in two retirement villages

during their stay.

They'll be heading south to Palm Beach,

one of the wealthiest regions in the States -

but first, there are going for something more affordable up north,

in Ocala County.

For decades, Florida has been a mecca for retirees,

with vast gated communities attracting millions

of senior citizens from all across America.

Guys, I've got some stuff from the internet.

Can you read it out?

The place we're going to is called Oak Run.

It's got 24-hour security.

What worries me is when you say gated.

Why does it have to be gated?

That I don't get.

It says it's Florida living at its finest.

I don't think there's going to be much culture in Florida.

I'm not interested in Botox, I'm not interested in beauty.

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-This central Florida golf community

and country club is the kind of neighbourhood that lets you enjoy

everything you've worked so hard for.

A beautiful home in a safe, recreational community.

We won't need a gun, then?

I've been to America a number of times.

I remember when we first went, I was held at knife-point cos I was gay.

Knife to my neck, "Give us your money", stole it all,

in the middle of the day.

I won't wear me jewellery in America. No way.

They've got guns.

There it is.

Oak Run Country Club.

-WAYNE:

-There we are.

-MIRIAM:

-Do your pulses quicken with excitement?

No.

Oak Run will be the group's home for the next few days.

Can you imagine living in a place like this?

It has 24-hour security.

Gates close at 10pm.

Good morning. Could you tell us the way to 11, 1105,

60 southwest, 69th circle, Crescent Oaks?

God.

-2.3 miles down on the left-hand side is 69th Circle.

-OK.

-You going to turn left on 69th Circle.

-OK, right.

-All right?

If you could just lift the barrier, that would be brill. OK.

-Thank you. Thank you very much.

-Bye-bye, thank you.

Have a nice day. Bye-bye.

There are over 7,000 senior citizens living here.

Under-18s are infrequent and closely guarded visitors.

Look at the flags!

Oh, God.

The group will be living in Crescent Oaks,

one of 25 neighbourhoods on the estate.

Residents choose from 15 different house models,

each one designed for simple, hassle-free retirement.

Bobby and Wayne will be living together

with Rosemary and Miriam their next-door neighbours.

There's George and Sleep.

-WAYNE:

-Yeah.

We're next to each other.

Made it.

Ooh, look at this.

It's like going on honeymoon with somebody, isn't it?

OK. Here we are.

Here we are.

We're here.

-Nice and cool in here. BOBBY:

-Lovely.

Fabulous.

That's all right.

Listen, do you want some of those?

If you're hungry, we've got that.

We've got... No, no, no, you have to do it the other way.

-Yeah, so...

-I know what to do. I know what to do.

I know how to eat.

I'm not easy to live with.

I'm not used to sharing with people.

I am bossy, but I'm not quite as bossy as Rosemary.

Oh, that's all right.

-What's in there?

-It's a bedroom. It's actually OK.

Where's your bedroom?

What do you mean where's my bedroom?

ROSEMARY LAUGHS LOUDLY

-What does that mean?

-Because...

-How do we know that's your bedroom?

-Well...

Oh, here's another bedroom!

I think this is my bedroom, this one.

This is my bedroom.

I like the blue.

Blue's my colour.

That's my bedroom.

No, but blue's my colour.

Tough. Tough shit, mate.

-But blue's my colour.

-That is my bedroom.

Looking around

at this pretentious rabbit hutch...

..there is no style, there is no taste, there are no books.

I mean, the pretension of that pillar and stuck on it there's...

I don't know what it is. A branch with baubles on it?

I suppose the sofas are acceptable.

Every new resident receives a welcome visit

from a neighbourhood rep.

-Hello.

-Hello, how are you?

-Come on in, I'm Miriam.

Fred and Joanne are originally from Long Island.

-JOANNE:

-Oh, so nice to meet you.

Lovely to meet you, too.

-FRED:

-Nice to meet you. May I kiss you?

-No, no, I don't do kissing.

Oh, you don't do kissing? OK.

You can kiss me, then. OK.

-WAYNE:

-Hello.

Lynne moved here from Chicago.

-Very nice to meet you.

-And you, darling.

-ROSEMARY:

-So, what sort of life is it?

-JOANNE:

-We moved here 18 years ago and we absolutely love it.

So, what's so special about it?

The people.

You make friends easily.

Their families are not here,

so you become each other's family.

You're never alone.

So, I came down, we had both retired. We retired...

I was 52, he was 54.

-That's young, isn't it?

-Young, yes.

But if you plan right, you can afford to do it.

I think if you're 55 and you have to go into a retirement situation,

I think that, erm, there's something... I don't know,

there's something maybe you're lacking in your life.

Who knows? Maybe that's me being too judgmental.

I would never live anywhere else, I love it here.

-And I've been here for 20 years.

-Yes.

Do you know, what's the average price of one of these houses?

I would say 150,000.

That's not bad at all.

I like it here because it's just kind of nice.

Tell me some restrictions.

In order to have anyone under 18,

they can visit for a month.

They can stay with you for a month.

Then they have to leave.

What about playing loud music at night?

-No-one does that.

-FRED:

-No-one does that.

-I want to say something.

-OK.

-OK.

I'm gay. What about gay people? Are there any gay people?

-We have...

-Some of our best friends are gay.

When you meet them, you love them.

That's all there is to it.

Oak Run is spread across 1,400 acres.

Owning a golf buggy is essential.

The group are on their way to the most popular night

on the activities calendar.

Starting at 6pm, ending at eight, sharp.

-It's extraordinary, the whole thing.

-Yeah, yeah, it's weird.

I don't find it, sort of, real.

What's the hardest thing about living here in this place?

Being so far away from the children.

But we love it so much, we get over it very quickly.

Can I ask you something, Joanna?

Where is everyone?

Well, they're probably at the activities.

They might be having supper.

Supper at five o'clock?

Why not?

Every Tuesday, nearly 300 regulars

pack the Palm Grove ballroom for bingo.

-BINGO CALLER:

-D-7.

Most of the clubs and activities here

are organised by the residents themselves.

I-18.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-Hello, very well.

-Do you feel lucky tonight?

-Yes!

Oh, I've never played bingo. I haven't got a clue what I'm doing.

O-65.

N-33

And the first 45 numbers have been drawn and posted.

Does anybody have a full card at this time?

-MIRIAM:

-Get on with it, love!

-BOBBY:

-She's off. She's starting on the bingo bloke now.

Well, I mean, how long... We're all very old. We can't wait this long.

I-23.

36.

Oh, 61. I've got it.

Rosemary is fanatic.

She wants to win.

Where? Oh! I've got a line.

No, you've got to cover all.

Every time somebody else wins, she dies a little.

2241!

CHEERING

-CALLER:

-Are there any other bingos?

Any other bingos?

Can I ask you, how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

I'm 79.

I just turned 79.

-You're not!

-Yes.

-You're not. Yes, I am.

-79?

-And he's 68.

-You've got a toy boy.

-Yeah.

What I'm finding really interesting about this

is you're in a secluded community. You know, if you're on your own,

you'll always see people, so you're never going lonely.

It's a real community, and I like that.

-MIRIAM:

-I liked the people that I met very much.

They are smashing people and they're kindly

and they bring round gingerbread

-and that's lovely.

-Oh, yeah, they're nice.

You know, as they get to 70s and 80s,

they might well want to come to a place like this

where they feel secure,

and so I can understand they want to be in a gated area,

where they are totally protected.

But it's their way of life.

You wouldn't like to choose their way of life, would you?

You've got loads of things to do but not my cup of tea.

-I wouldn't do that.

-But this is the American dream.

That's the American dream, not ours.

This is aspirational.

-WAYNE:

-This morning I realised what we're missing in England, of course,

-is the weather.

-It's the weather.

I mean, I got up this morning, the sun was rising

and it was just so warm and it just made me feel, whoa, I could do this.

-Do know what?

-I need a warm climate to live in.

The more you get into this,

the more you actually start beginning to understand it.

Residents have dozens of healthy clubs and activities

to choose from every day.

This morning, the group are deciding what they would like to do.

I think we're going to go swimming.

I didn't buy a new costume.

-Oh, don't worry, we won't be looking at you.

-Don't look at me.

-No, no, we won't.

-Or don't judge me.

Well, what's your best thing?

-My best thing?

-I know you've got nice tits,

but I mean I'm talking about...

You know, Bobby, from you, that is such a compliment.

-WAYNE:

-Don't lower the tone!

It's her!

It's her starting me off.

Hello!

Don't be shy.

Oh, I'm not shy, honey.

So, what would you advise us to do, being here?

What's the best thing?

Where's the nearest museum?

Oh, my God? A museum?

Now that would be an Orlando.

-Right.

-Yeah.

-OK, that's a way.

And that's a zoo.

-ROSEMARY:

-Do you live here?

I live on the number one t-box.

-Do you have sugar?

-Absolutely.

We're out of sugar here.

-You're out of sugar?

-Yes.

-I can bring you some sugar.

-Could you bring us some sugar?

Oh, absolutely!

Oh, that would be really kind, thank you so much for that.

-I will be back with the sugar.

-That's very kind of you.

-Thank you so much.

-That's really sweet of you.

Right, you can all have a laugh.

Look at me now and then you can...

Oh.

-Now you've seen it.

-No, I haven't seen nothing. OK?

-I don't want to look at it.

-Just relax, so there we go.

-WAYNE:

-At least it keeps things in.

-ROSEMARY:

-OK. That's fine.

Well, at least it hides the necessaries.

RECORDED VOICE: 'Inhale, arms out. Exhale, hug yourself.'

At the orchid pool,

Miriam and Wayne are joining neighbourhood rep Joanne

for 9am aqua aerobics.

'Reverse.'

ALL: Around and down.

A monthly maintenance fee of 150 includes all classes and activities.

-How you doing Miriam?

-Brilliantly.

Love the arms, Miriam.

ALL: Around and down.

You can actually feel some muscles kicking in.

It's not just sort of pretentious stuff. It's serious, isn't it?

Yeah, you'll exercise from your head to your toes.

-BOBBY:

-Here we go.

-Let's go.

Over at the ballroom, Rosemary and Bobby have opted for Pilates,

one of the most popular activities for women over 65.

-Do you keep fit?

-No, not really.

I don't, I'm very bad.

You know, I'm useless.

And I was big when I was very young.

I was the runt, so I've always been fat

and now I find every excuse not to do an exercise.

Oh, my God.

No, can do that one.

For more than 20 years, Bobby has had mobility problems.

Well, I broke me back in the World Championship.

I jumped up and I come down wrong and snapped me back.

Ever since, he's been on daily medication.

I mean, I rattle in the mornings by the time I took me tablets.

I rattle.

But you don't feel old.

It's just your body doesn't allow you to do the things.

You try to do and think, "Oh, dear."

You don't run down the steps, you come down with one foot at a time

to make sure you don't fall over.

Nah, I can't do it.

Five, two, three...

Age is a very real thing to me.

And I'm fed up with it.

Nobody ever told me that it was going to be like this.

Ouch.

This is what's known as a "fanny stretch".

Somebody should tell somebody that when you get old,

you're going to have a vile time.

I've got brown marks on my face at the side here and I get whiskers,

and when I have to wee-wee, I have to wee-wee quickly,

because otherwise I'll piss myself.

I hate being invisible to people.

Sometimes people just, you know, they don't see old people.

It makes me feel cross.

I want people to see me and fancy me, I want them to fancy me.

I want them to imagine holding me in their arms.

And to be invisible is death.

I'm going for a wee-wee.

I've never been surrounded by so many young ladies.

Oh, young ladies?

-How old are you?

-I'm 82.

82, gosh. She does the exercises better than me.

-Mondays, I do Pilates in the morning.

-Yes.

In the afternoon, I do Zumba.

-All right.

-And in the evening I do line dancing.

-Wow.

That's all in one day.

This is a big eye-opener for me about these kind of centres,

because, through it, they are exercising, they're gaining strength

and they're gaining longevity, I should imagine.

I totally understand

why people would want to live in a place like this.

It's very safe and peaceful.

That's what you want when you're hurtling towards death.

I like it. I like it here.

It's very sharp, very interesting. A different way of life, totally,

from what you could get in Britain, and if you compare Britain

to sorts of places like this, I'm afraid this beats hands down.

Go on, that's it.

Go on, you. Keep going. You're all right, mate.

Keen to explore life beyond the confines of the retirement village,

Miriam's taking Bobby for a spin in the new hire car.

Nobody fucking told me there was a thing there!

I don't like the idea of shutting the rest of the world out,

because that's what a gated community does.

What it's saying is,

"You know what? I don't want to know about those people.

"I like the people I'm with,

"so I'm going to stay with the people I'm with

"and the other people...who cares?"

It's September and the presidential election campaign is at fever pitch.

I tell you what, I am definitely going to find out

who's voting for Trump.

Less than a mile from the security gates,

something's caught Miriam's eye.

I've seen this pawn and gun shop and I want to know what's going on.

I want to know what they're on about.

-Hi.

-Hello.

I've never been in a gun shop.

Would you advise somebody living in Oak Run to get a gun?

If you knew how many guns are in Oak Run,

all the retirement developments. They all...

Retirees are our number one customers.

Do they buy guns to protect themselves?

Yeah. You know, I look at a gun as insurance.

-You have insurance for your vehicles?

-Sure.

OK, so you have your insurance card in your wallet, right?

OK. In case of an accident, you get your insurance card.

In case of an accident, I have my gun.

-BOBBY:

-I've got guns. I've got rifles,

but you're not allowed to have handguns in England.

You have to put the bolt in one safe,

the ammo in another safe and the gun in another one,

So, if I ever got excited or nasty,

I've got to open three different things up

-and, by then, they think you've calmed down by then.

-Yeah.

But, your law, you don't have to do that.

-You can have it loaded in your house?

-Absolutely.

People in America die more from hammers than guns.

Look it up.

There you go.

Quite heavy.

-Don't point it at anyone.

-I'm not pointing it at anybody!

I know that much!

I don't like them, I don't approve of them, I don't want one.

Are you a Trump supporter?

98% of the people that live in this area are all Trump supporters.

I know it.

These are some Trump socks.

-We even have his, er...

-"You're fired."

..famous words.

We've Trump cologne, which I use every day.

He is a good person, going to surround himself by good people

and is going to do the best for the country.

I think he is a total piece of shit, that's what I would say.

-Anyway...

-That's OK, I respect you. I respect you.

God bless, take care. Take care.

-We love everybody.

-Thanks very much.

We're Trump supporters and we love everybody.

Oh, boy.

-Thank you.

-Pleasure.

Florida has one of the highest violent crime rates in America,

with the popularity of gated communities soaring in recent years.

-Afternoon!

-Hi, there.

Having learnt many residents carry guns, Bobby is keen to meet one.

-WAYNE:

-Nice to meet you too.

-You guys ready to go shooting?

-Yes, please.

-Let's do it.

How many guns do you have?

Erm, about 15 or 20.

Gosh.

Yeah, I think I shot my first gun when I was four.

-Did you?

-Mm-hm.

Tim is a retired farmer.

He carries everything from hunting rifles

to military-grade assault weapons.

An ardent pacifist, Miriam has refused to join the shooting party.

-Do you think if you lived here you'd get a gun?

-No.

-Answer that question after you've shot.

-Yeah.

I wouldn't get a gun, no.

I don't like guns.

What a shop.

Florida has some of the most relaxed gun laws of anywhere in the US.

After security checks, all you need is a driver's licence

and to be over 18.

-Could we hire some guns, please?

-Absolutely.

There is no upper age limit.

You always want to make sure you keep your finger off the trigger.

-All right, and be careful where you pointing it, too.

-Yes.

I hope it's not loaded yet.

-Well, it doesn't matter if it's loaded or not.

-Really?

-You don't point a gun at anybody until you're ready to fire.

-Really?

-You're pointing.

-Oh, because they think I might be attacking them.

Have you got another choice?

-Have you got another one for me to look at?

-Sure.

-Ah, that's sort of more comfortable for me.

-Right.

Now, careful where you're pointing.

Always be self-aware of where it's pointing.

This actually is a better size.

Look at her! She's still pointing at you.

-WAYNE:

-In Oak Run, would you have a gun because you need it in Oak Run?

-TIM:

-I have a gun because I feel like it's my duty

as an American citizen to have a gun.

That's why, in the United States, we have to have our guns,

because we're the standing force

that keeps us from losing our freedom.

I feel you take the law into your own hands.

Not at all. The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun

is a good guy with a gun.

So, I carry a gun most of the time.

-With you? On you?

-Yes.

-Where do you carry it?

Right there. And if I have to use it...

-Is that loaded?

-Always loaded when I go out with it on me.

It's always loaded. I find that really quite scary, actually.

Would you advise us to get a gun if we decided to move to Oak Run?

I would advise you to get a 20-gauge shotgun and keep it in your house.

Well...

-GUNSHOT

-Oh!

One in three adults in America owns a gun.

Well, just keep control of the gun.

See, that's what you need at home.

-Sorry?

-That's what you need at home.

-I can't hear you.

This is what you need at home.

If they did have a war and got invaded, the army invading them

will have a problem, won't they, because everyone's got guns.

Got their own army again, haven't they?

Oh, my goodness me!

Let go.

Pull and hold it.

He's mowing 'em down.

-WAYNE:

-Did I get them all?

-You weren't playing.

-Really?

-You weren't playing.

If somebody came at me with a gun, I'd pick it up and shoot.

If I was defending my family,

I'd be out there right in front of them

and shooting the bugger in the chest.

I did enjoy it. Yes, I did.

It was fun. It was fun - but I don't like guns.

I just don't like them.

REVERSING ALARM

I'm pedalling forwards.

Agh!

Fucking hell!

Fresh from the excitement of the gun range,

Wayne's heading to the Palm Grove ballroom.

Step, step together. Step, step together.

One, two, three, four and one and two and three...

He's setting up a dance class.

Run, run, run. Run, run, run.

All are welcome.

-ROSEMARY:

-Hello, how are you?

Hello!

We've been shooting guns.

Unlike the Oak Run residents,

who have mostly given up their full-time jobs...

Put your hands out, turn around...

..in the UK, Wayne still works as much as possible.

I've tried retiring and thinking of having a pool in the back,

you know, and sitting in the sun.

Bollocks!

One, two, three, four.

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

No way!

I can only live by living to the full.

Run, run, run, jump, five and six and seven and eight.

Very good!

It's brilliant. He is so good!

Out, in. Out, in.

Good.

Do you know what's lovely?

It's lovely to see him doing what he knows best.

It's a bit like when I'm in my kitchen, I'm doing what I know best.

He's doing that - it's lovely to see.

Rosemary could demonstrate it, couldn't you, dear?

Four, two, three, four.

And...

Turn, turn, turn.

Good.

One, two...

..four, back.

Just mark it.

Run, run, run.

Jump.

Run, run, jump.

Run, run, run, jump.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Good, OK.

Maybe he'll buy a place in Oak Run?

Oh, I wish he would.

Oh, he would set this place on fire. Yes, he would.

Let's do it! Are you ready?

ALL: Yeah!

Now hit it, baby.

I wouldn't be able to help but get involved in things like this

if I lived here - and you can see how joyous they all are at doing it.

They laughed all the way through.

Tomorrow, the group will be heading off to pastures new.

As a thank-you, they've decided to throw a party for the neighbours.

What we're going to do now is mix it all in here.

Chef Rosemary has roped everybody in to help her.

Right, Miriam's making salad.

I've got the worst deal.

I do not cook.

Ever.

-Don't you?

-Never.

What do you do then?

Microwave.

I'm so pleased to meet you, welcome.

It's very nice to meet you.

Wait a minute, who are you?

It doesn't matter, darling.

No, no, I don't kiss...

Our guests are arriving!

-WAYNE:

-I love it.

We fit!

I've been here 17 years.

I've met a lot of people,

You become friends and have a good time with people

and some of them get sick and die.

-I'm only 66.

-Oh, are you, Johnny? You're younger than me.

Well, you've got plenty of time.

Dick and Garth have lived here for eight years.

Am I allowed to say, are you gay?

Oh, we're married gay!

What's it like, living here in the gated community, being gay?

-Oh, we love it!

-We love it. It's wonderful.

And being gay, has there been any problems?

-We've had no problem whatsoever.

-No, no.

-Haven't you?

You know, there's a lot of conservative people here,

but, you know, it's not an issue.

We love the theatre, they've got a nice theatre group.

He's directing the next show.

You guys are here, like, a couple of weeks too late.

We did a variety show and he and I did a duet!

Did you?

-He played Ethel Merman.

-I played Ethel Merman.

-Oh, did you!

-And that went over really well.

-How did that go?

I was dressed from head to toe like Ethel Merman.

-And did you steal it?

-I got a standing ovation!

-Did you? Fantastic!

-Yes, I did!

Oh, I love it. Go on, give us a rendering now.

-SINGING TOGETHER:

-There's no business like show business

Like no business I know!

-MIRIAM:

-Very good, very good!

Well, I'm totally surprised there's so many gay men

and gay women living in these communities.

I thought it was all for the heterosexuals and the rednecks.

And, er, gosh, a major breakthrough going on in America, I think.

And, yeah, I'd give it a second thought.

Oh, my God!

What we imagined and put into our brains when we first arrived here

is not what this place is - it's completely different.

I think, actually, I shouldn't have been as judgmental as I was.

But I have to tell you, my mind has been changed.

In fact, I think it's incredible.

They'll live longer. They're healthier. They're better.

I think I'd just like to say on behalf of all of us here,

I mean, you have been amazing and you've made us feel very welcome.

And I would like to say a big thank-you

from the bottom of my heart.

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

It's Wednesday.

Grass cutting day.

This morning, the group are leaving Oak Run to sample life

in one of the wealthiest retirement resorts in Florida.

Despite early misgivings,

even Miriam seems to have caught the happy vibe.

Hello!

Rosemary's on a breakfast duty.

I'm a bit worried. I've got to get on with this,

cos if she doesn't get her brekkie soon,

she's going to shout and say, "Where's my breakfast?!"

But that's OK, I don't mind.

Oh, the fuck's sake, who's doing the cooking?

SMOKE ALARM

Oh, for goodness's sake.

Jesus Christ, the noise!

What's happening?

-WAYNE:

-Ooh! Quite misty here, isn't it?

It's only a bit of bacon, for goodness's sake.

What happened?

We shouldn't be having bacon! There's Jews here!

Christ.

Oh! Here we go.

-There.

-Bob's your uncle.

-MIRIAM:

-God bless, thank you very much!

Thank you very much.

-WAYNE:

-Bye, Oak Run.

I think Oak Run has done us proud, actually, in a way.

-The people were lovely.

-Cos people have been wonderful.

-It's all about the people, isn't it?

-Yeah, it is.

They are a happy lot.

Yes, they are a happy lot.

The group are heading south to Palm Beach County,

home to some of the richest retirees in the state.

Because otherwise, they just can't deal with it.

Christ, that was close!

Just be careful.

-Right round.

-Right around?

-Right round.

My God.

Christ.

-WAYNE:

-Well done.

FARTING

God!

-Now just pay attention and everybody help her, because she's...

-OK.

..starting to lose it.

I'm not!

We're going in here to the... oh, the Polo Club.

-Oh, I say!

-That's posh, innit?

Yeah.

Spread across a thousand manicured acres,

the Polo Club is marketed as the ultimate in retirement living.

A top-end house costs nearly 6 million.

We're visiting. We're from Britain.

But first, you have to join the club.

Membership costs up to 85,000.

Another 25,000 a year secures access to every state-of-the-art facility.

It's beautifully kept, isn't it?

Isn't it just.

Oh, Windsor Park!

Ascot.

Oh, this is all the polo places in England.

Of course, it is.

-You can tell this is money, can't you?

-Yeah.

Straight away.

Get yourself together.

This dress shows my knickers.

-Well, pull it down, darling.

-It's very embarrassing.

We want to be able to get into the building.

-Oh, hello!

-Hello!

Hi, welcome to the Polo Club of Boca Raton.

-MIRIAM:

-Tell us what you'd like us to do.

We're going to do a couple of things.

I'm going to take you on a very short little tour

on our way down to the membership office

and we're going to get your membership ID cards

and at that point you are a member of Polo Club,

-where you can live it your way.

-OK.

We're also preparing right now for our big party this evening

and you are all invited to it.

-Thank you.

-It's a really, really nice cocktail party.

Just a small, intimate gathering for about 800 people. So...

-800 people?!

-800 people?!

-A small, intimate gathering!

-MIRIAM:

-Are you serious, 800 people?

-Yes.

-That's outrageous.

-ROSEMARY:

-So, 800 people?

-Yes.

Tonight, when you come back in another hour and a half,

this will be magical.

-Yes?

-Literally magical.

Chris is the club's director of new member sales and marketing.

I really focus on bringing people that like to play golf

-and like to play tennis, that are the ages of 50 to 65 years old.

-OK.

-So, that's what I focus on.

-OK.

-Yes.

And they get to enjoy this home as they go into retirement

and then in actual retirement.

One, two, three...

You need to keep your membership card with you at all times, OK,

because that does allow you access in and out of the club.

-Yes.

-If you don't have that, especially since you are new...

You're dead? Basically, you're dead.

No, we're very friendly club, actually. Erm, but...

Well, you smile and then you kill us. I understand.

Look at this.

This is our home now.

This is incredible.

Oh, my God.

-It's lovely.

-Isn't it glorious?

I love it.

Oh, we've got a pool.

I just love the pool!

Thank goodness for that.

Oh, my goodness me! Look at it.

The group are moving into a 2.5 million dollar villa,

one of the club's mid-range properties.

Oh, this is amazing.

Wow.

-BOBBY:

-Is that a bed?

-Look at this.

-Somebody's home.

Do you want to put more cushions on the bed? You've got one, two, three,

four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12.

12 pillows.

This is the room I like.

How could anyone ever imagine a place like this?

I've never seen anything like it.

A grotesque spending of money.

Deeply pretentious.

I think this is fantastic.

This is something you think you could get used to?

I love luxury.

I couldn't give a monkey's about it.

It doesn't really, it doesn't do nothing to me.

You know, the luxury, all that...

to me, it's just... I don't see it like that.

I think it's nice,

but I wouldn't go, "Ooh!"

The club members' cocktail party includes cabaret-style entertainment

and an all-you-can-eat hors d'oeuvre buffet.

There's only one word for it - paradise!

Are you the entertainment?

No!

My name's Wayne, nice to meet you.

I thought you were going to be the entertainer.

-ROSEMARY:

-You lot do not look your age.

Well, do you know why? We all use the same doctor.

The doctor?

Yes!

Yeah, I'm the dart man.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Wow.

Yeah, most of the top guys earn over a million and a half a year.

Yeah.

Where were you from originally?

Berlin, Germany.

I came on the Kindertransport to the UK...

Ah!

And I'm very involved in everything to do with the Holocaust

and the world that we're living in right now

is a very, very frightening world.

The only people that I cannot talk to

are the Republicans.

-Well, you've got a Republican right here!

-Oh.

Are you a Trump supporter?

I am. It's not for Trump, but I absolutely hate Hillary Clinton...

-You would vote for Trump?

-Oh, no question!

If you compare Trump and Hitler, you'll find a huge...

OK, I'm sorry. I really...

..number of similarities.

I really...I really...this woman is so bad for this country.

I just...I can't talk about it, I really can't.

-All right. I don't want to upset you.

-You are upsetting me.

-Well, I don't want to do that.

-So, it has been lovely meeting you.

-You too.

-You are a very nice person.

-And I, erm, let's leave it at that, OK?

-All right.

You're in the minority here,

but I'm with you, 100%.

Is that an American problem now,

that people don't want to discuss politics?

People want to, but they've had such heated arguments this time.

Never before, but this time, that it's become...

It divides friendships?

It's divided the community, so it's a subject we don't talk about,

so we could all have a great time.

Can I ask you how old you are?

72.

What?!

This lady is 72!

72!

-You've just had a face-lift?

-I had it days ago.

Ten days ago.

I don't think there's anything wrong.

You know, I think cosmetic surgery, I would totally accept that

and I would love to have certain things done.

Oh, my God, I'd love my eyes done.

I'd love my nose done.

I'd love my face taken back.

I'd love my jowls done.

I'm thinking of having some Botox.

I am not the expert here, honey.

There are a lot of other babes here that are, like,

way versed more than me.

OK.

But, it's something, if you want to feel good about yourself, or don't.

I even went to the extreme one day - I've never told a soul this -

I went to a plastic surgeon and I was going to have my nose done.

And I went in the morning and I went in to go into the hospital

and you know what, my suitcase, I decided not to do it,

and I didn't do it.

I will be turning 80 on October 1.

No!

How many face-lifts have you had?

Ten!

Ten?

Now, the thing is, how many have you had?

-Four, five?

-I really think that's too personal for me to reveal,

but I did have a face-lift.

I know I look good, I've been told that.

-I believe in it.

-Yeah.

-And that's why I did it.

-Yeah.

-And I think it's wonderful.

-Right.

If you want it, do it.

-Miriam.

-Yeah?

-Hello!

-My two Democratic friends here,

-and they are shocked to the core.

-Horrified!

-Shocked to the core!

..by this misogynist con artist.

Narcissistic...

There are few people who are willing to stand up

and say what they believe.

-ROSEMARY:

-Hello!

-Hello.

-And how long have you been here for?

19 years. And how long have you been here?

I've been here one half afternoon.

-One afternoon.

-Not even that.

So, you know nothing about the club at all.

I know nothing about it.

And you know nothing about politics at all!

And I spent six years in the service, lady, so I've paid my dues.

Don't you dare talk about people running for president

-unless you know what the hell you're talking about.

-It's my right...

I was shot twice and I don't need stupid people like you...

I have a right...

-MIRIAM:

-I'm talking to you, big shot!

-Who are you?

You open your mouth, and a pile of shit comes out!

-Oh, yeah, really?

-Who asked you?

I do need you to ask, to get your permission...

Just be quiet. This lady was talking. You interrupted.

Who asked you to push in here?

Don't push in! We were in a conversation. You be quiet.

Let's do one at a time. Let's do one at a time...

-Don't you bully me. I won't have it.

-I'm not bullying you!

-I won't have it.

-Why are you yelling? Don't yell.

He interrupted the conversation.

She has a right to her opinion,

but she's talking like she has diarrhoea of the mouth.

You know, when I hear opinions like that, I always say, "God forgives".

I think everybody has a right to say whatever they want,

but they mustn't interrupt.

He interrupted.

-You're not here to discuss politics.

-I agree.

You guys are here to find out about what this club's about.

It's playground.

It's an adult camp.

-Did you hear about Thirsty Thursdays?

-No, no, excuse me.

We have two-for-one drinks, hors d'oeuvres, all you can eat.

I mean, can you beat that?

Oh, my God! You have to go to the bagel room!

Bagels and bialys and cream cheese and jellies

and coffee and tea and...oh, my God.

How do you stay young here?

Very easily. You go to a very fine plastic surgeon.

That's what we do.

And also, it's the good life.

It keeps you young.

You know?

Nobody's miserable here.

How can you be miserable?

Everybody's happy.

You know?

I thought it was absolutely horrendous.

Yeah, tell me what you think, Miriam.

They can't have discussions about religion or politics.

Yes. Well, it is one of the worst things to discuss.

-We weren't talking to him and he just barged in.

-He was very rude.

He was incredibly rude.

"You don't know what you're talking about!

"I was in the Army and you're just...

"You know, you don't know what you're talking about!"

Oh, it was a weird night.

I met a load of women who were sort of reasonably young, my age,

most of them had had surgery.

I think they look awful.

-WAYNE:

-Do you?

-Yeah.

-It looks unnatural to you, does it, Bobby?

-Yeah.

Oh, well, generally, I do see...

I now think that I would be much happier going back to Oak Run.

I just don't think it's real-life.

To be honest with you,

I think we're been very judgmental

and I've sort of said I would go and see this surgeon and find out.

I've thought about surgery.

Are you serious, that you'd do that?

Well, I might, yeah.

Christ.

-WAYNE:

-Mmm!

And here's some biscuits.

Are you all right, Bobby?

It's the start of another perfect day

for nearly all of the club's 2,000 members.

BEEPING

Oh...

Oh, God, help! Somebody help!

Where's the thing?

Something to hold something.

It's all right. Just...

Ooh, Christ!

I'll do it.

Oh, no, it's burnt.

-Doesn't matter.

-Doesn't it?

It's quite scary, having a meal here.

The group will soon be heading back to the UK, but first,

Rosemary has an appointment to keep.

-I'm off to go and see my surgeon this morning.

-Are you?

-Yeah, I'm going to have my fillers.

-I don't really approve of this.

-I think if you just had a little bit of...

-Yeah.

..something there.

-Filler.

-There.

-Just there.

-And to be honest with you, I've always wanted it done,

because they're craters!

-You look as if you're frowning a lot.

-All the time. Exactly!

So I'll come back looking as smooth...

You'll look just the same, love.

-Let's have a look.

-See?

Yeah, you've got a lot...

It looks like someone's stuck a knife in your forehead.

WAYNE CHORTLES

-It does, though!

-It does, doesn't it?

-It does.

So if you get rid of that, then that's OK.

Thanks, Bobby.

After chatting to residents of last night's party,

Rosemary's arranged to see a plastic surgeon.

Dr Tzikas specialises in facial cosmetic procedures.

-Have a seat, if you would.

-Right, thank you. Thank you very much.

Now, what I've really hated is these craters in my face.

Well, the key thing in doing anything is not to look

-like you've had work done.

-Yes.

-Those lines can definitely be filled in.

-Yes.

There are fillers that can be used.

How much does it cost?

-Well, each syringe in my practice costs 950.

-Right.

And generally, for you, doing two syringes would work very well.

-Let's do it, come on.

-All right.

-You have to do this quickly,

-cos I'll change my mind, otherwise.

-OK.

-This is Barbara.

-Hello, Barbara.

-This is Rosemary.

-Good morning.

-Nice to meet you.

-You, too.

It's like going to the dentist.

Yeah, kind of, but it doesn't hurt and you'll better instantly.

-Are there a lot of surgeons like you?

-Absolutely. Every corner.

-Seriously?

-Every street corner in this area.

-Really?

South Florida, where we are, Palm Beach County,

is one of the meccas of plastic surgery,

-cosmetic procedures, actually in the world.

-Mm-hm.

-You're not doing it to impress anyone else...

-No, no.

-You're doing it to feel better about yourself, and that's...

-It's for me.

-Correct. That's the right reason to do it.

-Yes.

I've never felt an attractive person, ever, in my life.

My sister was slim and beautiful and I was never the pretty one.

I was always the comedian.

Just concentrate on breathing, OK.

Just slow, easy breaths.

Little pinch here..

You're doing good. OK? All right?

Hold still, hold still.

Nice. So, I'm done with this side.

-OK.

-OK. Looks really, really nice.

Have you had any work done yourself?

-I've had similar things to what you're having.

-Really?

So, I've had some fillers and I have had Botox.

It's the new you, Rosemary, coming out, right now.

-It looks really, really great.

-Right.

Take a look.

-What you think?

-Oh, my God, that's amazing!

-Right, they're gone?

-That is incredible.

-You wouldn't know I'd had this done, would you?

-Absolutely not, no.

It just looks better, but you can't tell you've had anything done.

For years I've been trying to help my face, but nothing's helped!

It's uplifting.

I feel great. I really do.

I feel absolutely fab. I'm so pleased I went through with this.

I've forgotten what it is to feel pretty.

Hi, Wayne.

Hi! Beautiful!

I know, I've just had my hair done.

And I've had make up.

-It looks so much better.

-Does it look better?

-Much better.

-Yes?

Where did the Botox go then?

Well, my filler went all the way in there, all the way over here.

You can see, if you come round here, you can see.

-Over here somewhere.

-All round there.

That's nice.

Well, I think you look great, whatever it is.

Thank God you came here!

Mmm!

I like the way I look.

I like the lines I have.

It shows I've lived the life I've lived.

I am beautiful inside and the beauty that's inside will come out

and people will see it in the directness of my gaze,

in the happiness of my smile.

And you said it wouldn't change my personality.

Which it hasn't.

-That's good.

-That's the trouble!

But I have read and people say, you know, she's really ugly,

she is plug ugly, she is the ugliest woman on television,

and I just laugh,

cos I don't believe it.

We have been a rather locked in with these gated communities,

and I want to open the gate and frisk about.

-Bye-bye!

-Bye!

-Bye-bye.

-Bye-bye, Polo club.

There's a car behind me, I can't do that.

There's something stopping me.

-I'll tell you what, just...

-Oh, fuck that.

-What was it?

-The satnav had got caught in the steering wheel

-and I couldn't turn the wheel.

-God!

That's dangerous.

Before heading home, the group is stopping off

in one of the world's top party destinations -

Miami.

OK, kids, we are about to hit Miami Beach.

-Fantastic.

-Fantastic!

-Miami Beach, welcome.

Oh, yes, I could retire to this.

-BOBBY:

-Yeah.

Wet Willy's!

That's right up your street, innit?

-WAYNE:

-Yeah, it is!

Shall we cross and be in the hub of it?

We've been shut in and now, were allowed out!

-WAYNE:

-Woohoo!

You're in your element!

-I could easily rest here.

-It's gorgeous.

-It's gorgeous!

It's liberating.

The people are beautiful,

the buildings are beautiful,

the weather is beautiful and Miriam's gorgeously beautiful!

I'm happy.

Miriam, Bobby, Rosemary and Wayne

have decided to book a sunset trip around the bay

for their final few hours together.

This is a bit of luxury.

-Hello.

-Hello.

Yeah.

This is lovely, Bobby, eh?

Lovely. The breeze blowing in your hair.

Lovely.

Americans, I've found since I've been here,

old people are not old.

And they do live a long while.

I was surprised at the ages, 89, 99.

This is what retirement is about.

For some people.

People are buying time, in any way they can,

to not come to the end of their lives by simple things.

Recreational games, erm... swimming, tennis.

They can keep themselves younger.

It's a completely different culture over here.

We tend to sort of shy away from old age a little bit.

They embrace old age in a completely different way.

I think that's an amazing quality.

I feel that this trip has made me realise

that loads of people are facing old age and retirement

and they've all found a way,

the ones we met, of doing it.

But I think it's given me... a sense of hope

that I'll find a way

to sort out the last times of my life

in a way that'll make me happy.

And I don't think I thought that before,

and I'm very surprised...

that America has given me that feeling.

Yeah. I'm surprised.

What a lovely time we've had together.

You've made me very happy. You've made an old woman very happy.

-Well, you've made...

-And so has Miami!

Oh, well done, yes.

Here's to Miami and being happy.

LOUD MUSIC

Who's making that racket?

Go away, you moron!

Absolute morons.

I'm slightly inebriated.

You get pissed quick, don't you?

-You are so naughty.

-I know.

-You have become quite naughty...

-I know that.

..over the last half-hour.

I'm going to have a bit of a nap now.

Gordon Bennett.

Don't it ever end?

We're in Japan!

-It's exciting, isn't it?

-Beautiful.

It's brilliant, Rosemary.

The group get to grips with growing old in Kyoto.

If I lived here, I wouldn't be fat.

Or, in Cockney, "lovely jubbly".

-JAPANESE WOMAN:

-Lovely jubbly.

-LAUGHTER