Walking with Dogs: A Wonderland Special Wonderland

What do your dogs mean to you?

The whole world, I'd say.

-What does she mean to you, Sheila?

-Everything.

Is she your best friend?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-Yes.

Whose best friend if she?

-Mine.

-Both of ours.

What's his personality, would you say?

Um... Confident, bordering on domineering.

Well, my view is that dogs are people as well, we all have personalities.

In effect, we're all animals. It's just that she has four legs.

This is Joey and this is Eddie.

My daughter named him after Ralph Lauren.

Lilliput is a little girl,

and you can call her Lily.

All the people in this film walk their dogs in the same park.

Hampstead Heath is the biggest green space in London

and hundreds of dogs are walked here every day.

So why do people have dogs?

And what role do their dogs play in their daily lives?

-Can I ask you your name?

-Irene.

-Irene.

-And this is your dog, Irene?

-Yeah.

-And what's the dog called?

-Snowy.

-And what breed is Snowy?

She's a West Highland Terrier.

-And how old is she?

-Five months.

-Is she? Oh, so she's just a puppy?

-Yeah, yeah.

-And how old is the baby?

-11 months.

-11 months?

-Yeah.

-And are you a grandma?

-Yeah.

THEY LAUGH

And what made you get a dog?

I got broody.

THEY LAUGH

Did you? Was that because of the baby?

After the baby was born, I got really broody.

-Is that true?

-ALL: Yes.

THEY LAUGH

-So now, you've both got a baby?

-ALL: Yeah.

Can I ask you your name?

Yes, it's Guy Pope.

-And I can see your dog collar.

-Yes.

-So are you a local vicar?

-Yes.

Is the dog allowed in the church?

Oh, he comes to church on Sundays,

but he believes church is for biscuits.

When people see you with a dog and with a dog collar,

what's their reaction?

I actually find I talk to a lot of people on the Heath

who I wouldn't otherwise talk to,

and end up doing quite a lot of pastoral things on the Heath,

because people talk as we walk dogs.

It's amazing the things that come out and we're able to talk through

as we walk the dogs.

-So you're doing kind of spiritual outreach through Bertie?

-Yes!

What kind of dog is he?

He's a Dogue de Bordeaux, a French Mastiff.

-How old is he?

-He's about 19 months now.

So is he still a puppy?

He's still growing outwards,

he'll still get wider, I think.

-So he won't get any taller, but he might get wider?

-Yes.

-Cos that is a big dog.

-He is massive. He's my baby.

HE CHUCKLES

When I saw you walking on the Heath,

and Buddy was really pulling on the lead,

-and he's a big dog, and I was quite scared.

-Yeah.

-And...

-I know now that Buddy is a soppy dog.

-Yeah.

But people seeing you are going to think that.

Yeah, they get the wrong impression, but...

Is it the wrong impression

or do you quite like them being a bit scared of you?

No, I don't.

But I know other people out there that's got the Pit Bulls and they've got the Staffs,

they've got the Rottweilers and they've got the French Mastiffs and that,

and they do think they're hard walking down the road.

I don't, personally.

I could walk down the road with a little Chihuahua and...

But you don't, you walk down the road with a French Mastiff.

Because I love him and I got him for free.

Come on, Lily!

I love little white fluffy animals.

When you say you like white fluffy animals,

do you mean you like all animals

or you like white ones specifically?

Oh, I love all animals!

I always have done, I just adore them.

But I've always had a real extra soft spot

for little white fluffy ones.

Um... Cats, little rabbits, anything like that.

Just little polar bear babies, my favourite.

Little white fluffy polar bear babies.

My favourite.

It's easy to make an assumption

that a dog like that is a baby substitute.

-Yeah.

-Is that what she is to you?

Definitely not. No.

I do very much try to ensure

that she is at all times treated like a dog.

I'm not the biggest lover of babies.

-So you don't want children, Marianne?

-No.

-Have you ever wanted children?

-No. Not really, no.

I'm sorry!

SHE CHUCKLES

I just prefer puppies and kittens.

Warren lives three miles from Hampstead Heath

on an estate next to the North Circular.

-What kind of a teenager were you?

-I was a bit of a naughty teenager.

I got myself in a bit of trouble and that. Um...

What kind of trouble, Warren?

Just fighting a lot and that.

I regret it now though.

Then I got kicked out at school.

Went to... straight into work. I've always been a worker. I'm a grafter.

And, um...

Then, I had a little bad spell and that.

Went to prison.

-What was it you were sent to prison for, Warren?

-GBH.

So that's quite a serious offence.

That is quite a serious offence.

And what was it that you'd done?

Two boys tried robbing me

and this is the truth, tried to rob me, I defended myself.

And got three years for it.

-OK, so you hurt them, did you?

-Yeah.

-Both of them?

-One of them.

-One of them.

-And how is he now?

I don't know. He's fine now.

He was fine, because he came to court and pressed charges against me.

And how, did you hurt him with your hands or with a weapon?

-With a weapon but I'm embarrassed to say...

-What was the weapon?

It was his weapon, it wasn't my weapon, it was his weapon.

And it's embarrassing.

-What was it?

-It was a knife but...

it weren't me who had it, it was him who had it

and I was trying to... Come here, stop!

I was trying to defend myself.

-OK, so you stabbed him?

-Yeah.

-How many times?

-Once. Once, I ran away.

-And where did you stab him?

-Underneath his armpit.

And how do you feel about that now, Warren?

I hate the thought of it. I'm embarrassed to say it, to tell the truth.

I am embarrassed to say it. I regret it.

-And you were sentenced to three years?

-Yeah.

And how long did you do?

I got about 18 months.

What's the name of the dog?

Her name is Princess Catherine, but we call her Katie.

-And where you in the UK for the royal wedding?

-Uh-huh.

-Yes, we were.

Yeah, we were.

-So is she called Princess Catherine after Kate Middleton?

-Yes.

As well as having recently acquired an Alsatian puppy,

Dave and Kelly are also expecting a baby.

-This is your first baby?

-Yes.

And have you read any books about having a baby

and combining it with having a dog?

Yes, we have a book that's called, I think it's called Your Dog And Your Baby,

and it's just a transition, boundaries and just rules,

that you shouldn't leave your dog alone with your baby

and just...whether she should have her own kennel per se

when things are erratic with the baby and, so...

And we got that through our puppy school, they recommended that.

If someone said to me, "Never leave your dog with your baby,"

that would make me think twice about having a dog with the baby.

-Has that made you think twice?

-No.

In theory, never, you know, trust an animal.

They do have, you know, wild sort of instincts.

Go get it!

'I think she's, she's on her way to being a highly trained dog.'

Get it!

'I think she loves her family so much,'

and she's so dedicated and loyal

that I couldn't see her doing anything

but protecting the baby and loving it.

Are there special instructions for what to do

so the dog doesn't feel jealous or excluded?

They do say to bring home a blanket that she's been wrapped in.

So when Dave comes home in between me coming home,

will bring a blanket and have her sniff it and have it with the scent of the baby.

So when we actually bring in the baby, that it's not a shock.

Yeah, let her sniff the baby

and, when the baby is here, to allow her to introduce herself to the baby

and get to know the baby a little bit by, you know,

sniffing around and see what's going on, instead of keeping it a mystery, keeping it away and...

-We're going to take an inclusive approach.

-Uh-huh.

-Can you tell me what your name is?

-Albert Abela.

-And are these five dogs all yours?

-All mine.

And what kind of dog are they?

They're Bichon Frises, a French breed.

Five is an awful lot.

It is. I had the parents and when they had a litter of three.

I couldn't part with them and decided to keep them all and...

-And I have five.

-Can you tell me their names?

Yes, the father is called Mozart, the mother is Lolita,

and the three children - Sultan, Tequila and Aubergine.

They're quite a sight, your dogs.

Yes, they always turn heads in the park.

I'm asked about them on a regular basis when I take them for a walk.

Do you like the comments?

Most of the time, yes.

I'm glad that people appreciate them,

although it tends to lengthen the walk

if we're stopped too many times for questions.

So you're not an attention seeker?

I'm not, I'm not.

When you walk with these dogs, you look like you must be.

We do, we do get a lot of attention, that's for sure.

Albert is a businessman and lives with his dogs in a gated community,

just north of the Heath.

Are you a wealthy man, Albert?

I'm fairly wealthy, yes.

Did you grow up with staff in the house to help?

Um, yes, yes. I've always had somebody to help me.

-Whose job is it to look after the dogs?

-I am the one.

Is it your job to pick up the dog mess?

Yeah, yeah, it's my job.

You're a big beefy guy

and the dogs are quite sort of feminine and fluffy.

Is that an issue for you?

I wouldn't say they're feminine.

Um... They're not large dogs, obviously.

Some people would find a Rottweiler or a Doberman more masculine.

So you don't feel these dogs put your masculinity in question?

No, no, my masculinity is quite safe, it's not under threat.

So... No, I don't, I don't have a complex

about having five little fluffy white dogs.

HE CHUCKLES

Good girl, Bell. This way.

It's February and, despite a heavy snowfall,

the dogs and their owners are still out in force.

What is the name of your dog?

Her name's Bluebell, but I call her Bella.

And what kind of dog is she?

She's a Weimaraner.

Most people pronounce it a "Why-maraner," but I say Weimaraner.

And is she a pedigree dog?

Yes, she's a pedigree.

Do you walk around the Heath every day, Gilly?

I walk her on the Heath nearly every day.

At least two to three hours I walk her.

She thinks this is a little bit of Pembrokeshire.

I lived there for 25 years,

and we had a big, big garden and a pond...

Um... It was really nice.

My three children were there and I had a lot of dogs there.

I used to breed dogs.

So the only thing I brought from my home was my dog.

I left everything else.

Gilly now lives in a homeless hostel,

half a mile from Hampstead Heath.

What happened, Gilly? What went wrong?

My partner's business was, he was struggling and I didn't know.

And then, I didn't help, cos I had depression for quite a few years

and I didn't leave the house for five years, so...

And then, he just came home and says, "One of us has to leave."

And um...he left and my old world burst.

I'd been with Joseph since I was 23.

It was... Never thought he would ever leave me.

I felt we were like two swans.

I never thought he would leave me. I do still love him.

I never will stop loving him.

Bella, Bluebell, this way!

So how old were your children when everything fell apart, Gilly?

Joseph was 14. He's 16 now.

James was 21 and Orion was 26.

So you've lost your children as well?

Yes, I've lost my children.

You know, if I had a flat, I would have my son with me.

But I haven't got a flat and I wouldn't want my son...

living like this.

Describe to me what life is like here.

Well, you just have to get through the day.

Life is very, very different.

And how does Bella cope with this life?

She found it very stressful in the beginning,

because there's a lot of noise and a lot of people coming and going.

DOG BARKS

Bella, shh!

And she just finds it a bit stressful,

cos she hears the walking along the corridor

and all the different rooms.

But she is, she'd rather be with me than with somebody else.

DOG BARKS

Sometimes, I've thought about re-homing her and I just can't.

I just can't do it to her. It'd break her heart.

And it would presumably break your heart, too.

I'd break my heart! Yeah, no, I couldn't.

I wouldn't wake up if I lost Bella.

You know, I'd have lost then everything.

She's the only thing I've got.

Good girl!

Good girl.

Lily is wearing a very beautiful harness.

I've just been playing with crystals

and making a few bits and pieces.

And it's that going to be a business or what is it you're actually doing?

Um, well, it's a collection that will, if all goes well,

it'll be launched for sale, and it will be extremely high-end,

very exclusive pieces for doggies.

Well, the collars will be entirely hand-stitched,

which I believe are the only collars of the kind that are,

which means that they will essentially last for ever.

And each collar will have a matching leather lead

with a matching embellishment.

But that'll also be a jewellery chain lead.

But essentially, that's your, that's your lead,

and that's the one that's just not going to break.

And that's just hundreds of Swarovski crystals and pearls.

How much is a lead like that going to cost?

They are probably looking at around about £500, £600.

What about clothes? Are they doggy clothes?

There's a few little coats, jumpers,

hand-spun, hand-dyed, hand-knitted angora jumpers,

which are really fluffy and incredibly cute, very pretty colours.

A few dresses as well, just for the red-carpet occasions.

And what about the male dogs?

Oh, there's some little bow-tie outfits and little suits.

This one is made from leather

and it has the little emblem details on it.

And then, if the doggy is being very good,

then, he might be allowed to pocket one of his little treats on its back

that you can then get out when he's been behaving himself.

-Do you live on your own, Marianne?

-I do.

-Then, are you single?

-Yes.

I don't know whether you've ever cohabited with a partner,

but how is it different living with a dog than living with a person?

Well, you obviously can't have,

you can't have detailed conversations with dogs.

I mean, you might exchange a few words at most.

Um... So, to that extent, they're lot quieter.

They're also a lot less demanding.

As long as you have their basic needs met,

then doggies tend to be quite happy and that's the best thing ever.

Obviously, with people, they... they have other needs.

But, obviously, there is a difference.

I see that, I'm not that dotty.

Can you tell me your name?

Sheila Karsberg. K, A, R, S, B, E, R, G.

And what's the dog called?

Millie Snowflakes, cos she's got snowflakes all over her.

Do you live on your own with Millie Snowflakes?

Yes. Since my mum died, yes.

Come on, Millie, down! Good girl.

Good girl, Millie.

How do you think of her, Sheila,

is she your best friend or your baby, what is she?

She's my doggy-woggy.

Whoo!

Here is the speed merchant on his thingy.

-Morning!

-Morning!

Margot and Sue have been walking their dogs together

on Hampstead Heath every day for the last ten years.

Margot is 82.

We haven't had any dead bodies, I'm happy to say, recently.

Hello!

Have there been dead bodies found?

Yes, people...two, last year, hanging.

Was it two suicides?

And have there been other bodies that have been found that aren't suicides?

Yes, we had a decomposing lady...

..which was rather nasty. That was over there, and...

SHE CHUCKLES

A walker was bursting to spend a penny, bent down and screamed.

And I don't think she will ever, ever, ever, spend a penny in the open again.

Can you imagine?

Anyway, we think that was dumped,

because Luna would have found her,

if it had been there for any lengths of time.

So Luna is Sue's dog and she's good at finding things, isn't she?

Luna finds bras, money, anything.

Goats' heads...

What have you got, Luna?

Sue! Luna's got a rat!

It's March and Gilly has befriended Michael,

a fellow resident from the homeless hostel.

So tell me what's been going on this week, Gilly?

And why are you in trouble with the hostel?

-Well, I think Michael got some Budweisers and...

-Yeah, I did.

-Yes.

Only a little drink, but we've been very good since then.

So... We're on the road of...no more dirty water.

-On the wagon.

-On the wagon.

So, yeah.

So that's, you know, now we have to be REALLY good this week,

cos we've had a yellow card.

So teetotal.

Well, we got everybody else involved as well, and that was a problem.

You know, it sort of escalated into a party until six in the morning.

Yes. Cos we went and bought some chickens from Tesco's

and we fed a lot of them and...

Yes, it did go on till six in the morning.

That's why I got a yellow card.

What happens if you get another card?

Red card, we're out.

That's why we really need to be good,

cos they're allowing me to have a dog.

I'm the only person with a dog in the hostel, so yes...

You know, and drinking as well,

you need to be in control of the dog and it was naughty what we did.

Yeah, it was naughty.

So not again, cos Bella is a big girl and, you know,

it's not very good when you've got a big dog to look after, so yes...

We've been, um...been in the dog house.

When he came out of prison three years ago,

Warren and his 17-year-old girlfriend had a little boy, called Frankie.

Frankie's mum, where is she now?

She's actually in the Holloway prison now.

And what is she in prison for?

Riots.

HE LAUGHS

It makes me laugh every time I think about it.

-Why does it make you laugh?

-Because it's quite funny, actually.

The fact that she went out, riot and then, got arrested for it.

-But a lot of people did, didn't they?

-Why is that funny?

I don't know why it's funny, it just makes me laugh for some reason,

I don't know.

Makes me laugh the fact that she was a bit sad to do it.

I mean, she's meant to be a mother, really.

-So it's her foolishness that makes you laugh?

-Yeah, foolishness.

THEY LAUGH

'And then, I got custody of Frankie.'

Are you tickly...?

'So it is quite hard being a single dad, isn't it?

'Yet, it is. It is hard.'

So there you are, coping with Frankie,

which, as you say, is a big responsibility.

Why would you then saddle yourself

with the extra responsibility of an enormous dog?

Because he keeps me company.

HE BLOWS A WHISTLE

No, stop it, Frankie!

And what did your social worker think of you getting a dog, Warren?

Well, it's only new to me,

so the social worker still has to find out.

HE LAUGHS

Cos she still don't know yet.

-She hasn't been here since you got Buddy?

-No.

-What do think she's going to say?

-She comes once a month, you see. I've only had him two months nearly.

Last month, they didn't come, so I don't know what they're going to say.

Ta-da!

HE LAUGHS

Good girl.

What?!

I found a body.

A human one?

Yes?

Yes.

A human body.

-Are you serious, Sue?

-Yeah.

Sue, is it a dead one?

Don't know. I was told by two people it looked dead.

-And I didn't know what to do, so I just phoned the constabulary.

-Where is it, there?

It's just up against the hedgerow, there.

So you two seem to come across a lot of death and destruction on the Heath.

Oh, yes.

Beautiful and fun-filled dogs beheaded.

-Goats' heads.

-I said goat's head.

-He's sitting up!

-He's alive!

He's not dead.

-What's your name?

-Martin.

-And what's your name?

-Daisy.

-Daisy.

-And Daisy, is Martin your dad?

-Yeah.

-And what's the dog called?

-Zen.

Why is the dog called Zen?

It's part of just the understanding

that he doesn't know how to be anything else

and he lives in the now, and...

So there's no, no pretences, no past, no future.

It's purely now, which is the basis of the Zen philosophy.

And he's helped me in my recovery,

so it just seemed to fit.

Can you explain why you mean by that, Martin, your recovery?

Well, I'm a recovering alcoholic.

Um... I've...

Yeah, it's being quite a trial, most of my life, on and off,

but this time, I'm 18 months clean and sober,

so things seem to be working properly this time, yeah.

And how long have you had the dog?

Um... Coming up, yeah, it's about 18 months, actually.

Yeah, so it sort of tied in with my recovery.

How did you get the dog, Martin?

It was fate, I put it all down to fate,

because he was tied up at my dentist practice

and...and I got talking to a couple of the girls inside

and they were on the verge of taking him to Battersea.

And why didn't they want him?

They just said they couldn't handle him.

He'd been through four different owners and it was just too much, so...

-Because of his behaviour?

-Yeah, he was just too lively.

He hadn't been socialised, he just didn't know where he was, basically.

So I said, "Well, you know,

"I'll have him if they, you know, want someone to have him."

Do you love having a dog?

Yeah, it's like having an extra person in the family.

She's really, really cute

and she's so funny and playful.

It's just really nice to be around.

Yeah, it's like an extra best friend for me.

Is she a better friend than your other best friends?

Yeah, yeah, I think so.

So tell us, who's this?

Her name is Nelly. Nelly, come here, darling.

So she's called Nelly, and what is she, apart from being very big?

She's called a Leonberger.

Why have you got such a big dog?

Cos I'm posey,

and it's nice to have a big dog that's posey.

But more importantly, she's a therapy dog,

so I take her into care homes and hospices.

She comes in and is trained to stand still to be stroked by strangers

or lay down when she gets bored.

Is there anything in your life

that has made you want to work with people who are unwell?

Um...

Well, my daughter died of cancer in a hospice and so...

..it's nice to be able to go into hospices

and do something for those people who are dying.

Yeah, so I suppose that was a sort of motivating factor.

Come here!

OK, go!

Zen!

Zen!

That's good!

SHE LAUGHS

What's Zen's personality? What's his character?

Zen!

'He's funny.'

SHE WHISTLES

'He's a bit naughty.'

Zen!

This way, come here!

Good boy!

'And he can be rude as well.'

-Does that remind you of anybody?

-Me.

THEY CHUCKLE

Oh, yeah. But then, he can be sweet and lovely.

-Does that sound like Daisy, Martin?

-Yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely.

-Rude, naughty, but sweet and lovely?

-Yeah.

Underneath, we know it. So, you know, it's all OK.

When I said, "Is Martin your dad?" you hesitated briefly,

can you explain why, Daisy?

Because he's not my dad, like, he's not biologically my dad,

but he's been there since I was six, so... Yeah.

-So you think of him as your dad?

-Yeah.

Martin, you've adopted Zen,

you've also, you adopted Daisy

and did you have to give Daisy boundaries too?

Um, yeah.

HE CHUCKLES

I think that was part, part of it. Yeah, yeah.

The discipline and... I think that's part of loving somebody, you know.

You have to have boundaries in place

and discipline and consequences and stuff like that.

It's part of the deal, isn't it?

Oh, Rick! Rick!

What are you doing, come on! Good boy.

-Hello, is this your dog?

-He is, yes, he is.

-What is his name?

-His name is Rick.

-And what breed is he?

He's a Golden Retriever, he's actually my husband's dog.

He's five, but he's a beautiful dog.

-And what's your name?

-I'm Karen.

-And is that also your dog?

-This my daughter's dog, this is Todd.

They're joyous, both of them, in fact.

Are you, do you walk them every day?

Every day, yes. This is our circuit.

Well, it's been every day for the last seven months,

because my husband is not very well at the moment,

he's in hospital, so...

That's why we're here. But yes, every day.

Come rain or come sunshine, we're here.

So where do you live normally?

Normally, we live in a lovely little village called Warter,

in East Yorkshire.

-So you actually live in Yorkshire?

-Yes.

But you've just been walking your dogs on the Heath for the last seven months?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seven months.

My husband was taken, um...became very ill in, end of March last year.

That's when he first went into hospital

and he had a heart infection, which led to a massive haemorrhage.

Some of the bacteria landed in the brain

and caused a massive haemorrhage,

which has left him paralysed on the left side.

-So in the mornings, you're walking the dogs on the Heath?

-Yeah.

-And then, in the afternoon?

-Into the hospital.

Into the hospital, every afternoon.

-And it's that seven days a week, is that your routine?

-Yes, yeah, yeah.

Every day. Seven days a week. I've just lost the dog. Rick!

Toddie!

-Do you mind if I just meander...?

-No, go and get them.

Rick! Rick.

Rick. Here.

Good boy. Toddie!

Hello! Come on.

Good boy! Good boy, good boy.

Here. Toddie.

Toddie. What a good boy you are.

DOG BARKS

Rick's the winner! Yeah!

Yeah, Rick, come on, Rick.

Come and show us, come and show us, Sheila.

OK, OK. Stay there, Millie.

That's her portrait.

Did you take these?

No, that was taken professionally.

He has her breakfast and a tea under the table there.

In the cafe?

-Outside the cafe.

-Outside the cafe.

There's her showing her nice white teeth...

Even that you've got Millie Snowflakes with you,

why do you carry pictures of her as well, Sheila?

I'll tell you why, to make sure I know where it is.

Cos I... Things in my place get lost badly.

-Is it not tidy at your place, Sheila?

-Oh!

I've got such a lot.

What did she have for breakfast today, Sheila?

Her Benecol yogurt.

Why did she have Benecol yogurt?

Well, we don't want her gaining furred up arteries on top of what she's got.

And she likes it.

But she's fussy about which one she has.

-What flavour does she like?

-Peach and apricot.

-Is that good for dogs?

-It's OK.

Do you have it too, Sheila?

Yes, we take two out of the fridge. And I have one and she has one.

Is that a poo you've got in your pocket, Sheila?

Yeah, I've got one poo and I'm going to put it in there.

Well, nice to see you, Sheila. We'll let you get on.

Come on, Millie.

SHE HUMS

We'll put the poo-poo in there,

and then, we're going to go on walking.

SHE HUMS

Let's put the poo-poo in here.

One poo-poo.

One... come on!

There you go, done!

SHE HUMS

That's it. That's it.

And then, up.

Well done.

And up, John.

Good.

And down.

And up.

Good man.

-Feeling all right?

-Yeah.

Big stretch, John. Good.

John, do you miss the dog? I mean, you've been in hospital for a year.

Do you miss the dog?

Yeah, I do. He's a very gentle being.

And he's always pleased to see me.

And there's something very gentle about him.

And I miss that gentleness.

I think what I really miss is walking.

I miss that enormously, taking...

going with the dog and taking exercise.

But I have asked whether I would need a wheelchair

for the rest of my life, and I've been told, yes, I will.

Are you able to accept that, John?

I don't have much option.

And how do you deal with it in your head?

Well, it's just, it's a bloody nuisance.

Now, no matter how bad my day's been,

and there's been some very, very black and sad and worrying days,

when I come home, the dogs are constant

and they're so pleased to see you

and you're forced to look outside your own world,

which, you know, inevitably, becomes smaller and smaller the longer this is going on.

You know, you can almost self-implode if you're not careful,

and the dogs ground me very much.

In the morning, if it's raining or how miserable I felt

or if I had a bad night's sleep, which I've had a few of,

there they are saying, "Come on, get on with the world, look around you.

"Look how joyous this place is. You know, look at the bigger picture.

"Look at the trees, coming into leaf and the birds starting to nest."

It does help you to remain semi-normal,

if I ever have been normal, which I doubt.

SHE CHUCKLES

-How is your day?

-It's OK.

When you're homeless and you haven't got anywhere to live,

it is really, really hard, Vanessa.

And that's why you turn to alcohol.

I have woken up with, like, six stitches in my head

and I sort of fractioned my skull last year.

I looked like a boxer for about a month.

It was really bad, actually. I had headaches for months.

So there is like an indentation here and a sort of scar here.

And we're doing the best we can do. We're, like, you know,

one day at a time.

Are you, either of you, on any medication to help with depression?

-I'm on medication.

-I'm on medication.

I'm on diazepam

and zopiclone, fluoxetine.

That's for my depression.

So which is more helpful for you, Gilly,

having Bella or the medication, do you think?

Bella.

Bella.

# Can we be alone together?

# Will you call me when you wake?

# Will we feel like this for ever?

# Will you call me if you break?

BOTH: # Please don't listen to them

# They're going to take you Away from me

# Please don't listen to them

# They want to take you away

# Can we shoot the stars for ever?

# Will you be there when they fall?

# Catch them in our arms And tell them

# Things that no-one else could know

BOTH: # Please don't listen to them

# They want to take you away from me

# Please don't listen to them

# They want to take you away. #

Can you tell me your names?

-I'm Tony.

-Vicky.

And what's the dog called?

Nigel.

So you've giving him a human name. Do you think of him as a human?

Do I think of him as a human? No, no. I don't think he's a human,

but, I mean, I do talk to him

as if, obviously knowing that he's not going to respond.

I suppose I talk to him as if he was a baby, you know,

like, like one would talk to a baby.

How many children do you have?

Um...

SHE CHUCKLES

It's still the first person to actually phrase that question like that.

Um... We had three. We have two now.

We have two daughters.

One is 31, one is 30.

And we had a son who tragically was killed last October.

In a paragliding accident. He was 25.

We don't know all the details,

but what we do know is that six of them were flying.

It was apparently a beautiful day.

It's late afternoon and, after a couple of hours,

they landed and he wasn't there.

It was about six o'clock by that time, in the evening.

And, so we're told, the others went to look for him

and they thought maybe he'd misunderstood

the arranged landing place.

And they went to another place and he wasn't there either.

And they say they searched until it got dark.

At first light, they called the emergency services

and they found his body about, was it about a kilometre away?

Yeah, in, in, in a gully...

which wasn't accessible by foot, and they had to winch him up...

But we don't know how,

we don't know what happened and why he crashed.

He was quite experienced.

The inquest's... the result of the inquest was misadventure.

And that's something that we will never know.

We made the decision that either we could sit in the corner and cry

or we could try and re-engage with life as best we can,

and that's what we decided to do.

Sit, Nigel! Good boy!

'And he came along.'

HE CHUCKLES

He's in fact... we call him a rescue dog,

because he's rescued us, not because he was a rescue dog.

And he really has. Instead of sitting alone at night,

someone said, "There's another beating heart in the house," and it's true.

We don't do defeatism here. We only do positive.

Help, use a reward. It's a difficult exercise.

Come down, down.

Keep your hand up near his collar,

don't push him in the middle of the back! That's good!

Treat away again, and then back again.

'He's not a replacement. Of course, he's not.

'But he's a massive distraction.'

Good stuff! No more treats.

And he's very therapeutic.

And he needs our attention.

Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves all the time,

which, I can promise you, is very easy,

we've got something, someone here, it's like a baby or something.

I'd highly recommend it to anyone who has suffered a bereavement.

-First of all, could you tell me what your name is?

-Mark.

-And is this your dog?

-Yeah.

-And what's the dog called?

-Kidda.

Kidda, how do you spell that?

K, I, double D, A.

-Is that, is that a boy or a girl?

-A boy.

-And what kind of dog is he?

-A Staffordshire Bull Terrier.

-And how long have you had him?

-Seven years now, from a pup.

Obviously, some people really like Staffies

and some people don't like them so much. You obviously like them.

-I love them, yeah.

-What do you like about them?

They're very, very good, caring dogs.

They're not aggressive like a lot of people say they are.

And they're very, very playful.

And so, when people see you around with your dog, do they,

do some people give you a wide berth?

-A lot of people do, yeah.

-Do they?

What was happening seven years ago when you got the dog?

Well, my dad was a little bit ill.

He started to suffer with dementia.

I gave up my place to go and live with him.

-So it was just you and him?

-Yeah.

And you cared for him for how long?

For about...

about five, six years, in total.

-Before that, what were you doing?

-I was doing a bit of music.

Yeah, I was doing a bit of music. I was a PA for my friend Goldie.

Well, basically, I was on 24-hour call-out to do anything, basically,

what needed to be done and had to do with the music business.

So you went from 24-hour rock 'n' roll lifestyle...

-to 24-hour carer for your dad?

-Yeah.

But that's a big chunk of your life you've been doing that?

Yeah, like some people say it's a big chunk of my life

that I've flinged away, but, in my eyes, it's not flinged away.

That was really the best time of my life, looking after my father.

-So, presumably, the dog was living with you and your dad?

-Yeah.

How was your dad with the dog?

He was all right with the dog at first.

He used to love... The dog was, really, took up a lot of his time.

He used to sit on the doorstep with the dog in the day time,

but as the dementia got worsened...

With some people a sign is that they get aggressive and don't realise they're getting aggressive.

And the way my dad's got his walking stick,

he would start waving the walking stick at the dog

and the dog obviously didn't like it, he would never growl at my dad.

But, obviously, when he's waving, I says,

"But, Dad, you can't wave the stick at the dog like that, you can't do that."

Until it got to a stage where, basically,

I had to put the dog in the garden most of the times, yeah.

Do you still visit him now, Mark?

Yeah, every two days I go down to the day centre to see him.

And does he recognise you now?

Sometimes, he does.

Looking at you, he might not.

But when he hears my voice,

it would take him time to circulate,

his brain circulates and notice that's me.

But yeah, he'd ask me a few times. "Is that you, is that you, Mark?"

And I'd say, "Yeah, it's me, Dad."

But looking at you, sometimes he won't recognise you.

Are you someone who is naturally good at caring for another person?

Yeah, I am, yeah.

Like my sisters used to say to me,

and my father, you know, my father, when he went ill,

that I would never have nothing in life,

because I give everything away, basically.

And I care for other people more than you care for yourself sometimes.

And that's what really frightens my sisters about me.

They say I show too much love to other people

and not enough to myself. Yeah.

Is that true, Mark?

I try to say to myself it's not true, but...

in the real world, it's true. Yeah, it is true.

-And who looks after you, Mark?

-Well, basically, no-one.

He's the only one who looks after me. I'd say it's the dog, really.

It's him that keeps me going, like I said, yeah.

-You need someone else to look after you, Mark.

-Yeah, I know.

Bertie!

Come on!

Hello!

DOG BARKS

Stop it.

DOG CONTINUES BARKING

It's April, and Dave and Kelly have had their baby.

DOG BARKS

Hey.

DOG KEEPS BARKING

Come on in! Don't mind the barking dog.

Kelly stayed in the hospital for three nights with the baby

and I came home after the second night

and I brought home a blanket with me.

I picked up Katie from a friend's house and brought a blanket home with me.

The next morning when I went to have breakfast with them,

and I kept bringing blankets home every time I would go to visit.

I don't know that it had much effect, but they seem to get on all right.

Katie's been very curious about her. She likes to sniff her.

OK, so Katie wasn't traumatised

by being separated from you during the birth?

Katie, in the past, has never destroyed anything,

she's never chewed anything, she's never wrecked any of our things.

When I came home, she had destroyed two pairs of shoes.

So I think that was a sign of her...

of her nervousness and her stress, high stress levels.

And are you aware of any feelings of nervousness yourselves

about Katie being around the baby?

Yeah, there was one point when, on the first day, we...

Well, I guess it was our second day home, we had the baby in the crib

and she started to cry and Katie growled at the crib.

I think she thought the crib was hurting the baby.

But to hear her growl in that direction made us a bit nervous.

BABY CRIES

Oh!

SHE LAUGHS

Sweetie.

Hello.

Some of this?

I've never seen her show her teeth to the baby. I'm not worried.

I think she loves this little thing,

even though she doesn't really know what it is yet.

-I would say cautious, but not worried.

-Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Good girl, come on.

So, tell me, how is Bella?

She's not very happy, she's on a diet.

She needs to lose about six kilos.

Yes, she's quite overweight.

Was she ever overweight before, Gilly?

No, she's become overweight whilst in the hostel,

because everybody feeds her.

They're, "Oh, there is a shank bone" or "there's some pizza."

They're always sort of giving her things,

so now, we, we just say, "No."

And how was Easter, Gilly?

Oh, Easter was very emotional. I didn't see my son over Easter.

Did you see any of your children over Easter?

I saw Orion, my eldest son, but it didn't see James and Joseph.

So I was just waiting and waiting for them to ring

and that's way I just didn't want to get up.

I was just so fed up.

I took a few sleeping tablets.

-How many did you take?

-I took 12.

That's quite a lot.

Yes, it was.

It was enough to knock me out.

Did it cross your mind that you might never wake up?

Um, it didn't really bother me, actually.

Doesn't really bother me not waking up.

Is there anything to feel optimistic about at this point?

I just have to take each day as it comes.

I can't get any lower, really.

You have to look at it that way

or you'd be feeling sorry for yourself constantly.

It could be worse.

-We could have fleas, we could have head lice.

-Scabies.

We could have scabies.

It could be worse.

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