The Homecoming Young Soldiers

THIS PROGRAMME CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE

'What is the first memory you have of wanting to become a soldier?'

When I was running around Temple Newsam with my friends, with BB guns,

with trees in my hair.

Diving in and out of bushes.

I remember I used to, um...

..run around and, like, build dens,

climb trees and hide, and things like that.

And just pretend I was like a little snake going around

and nobody can hurt me or anything.

I remember doing stuff like that.

We used to make bases in our bedroom and start shooting.

Chris was always making this stupid gun noise.

Gun noise, yeah! He can still do that noise.

Yeah, we always used to do that.

This film is the story of three young men

who followed their childhood dream

of becoming a soldier in the British Army.

-Quick march!

-SOLDIERS: Quick march!

Has it fulfilled the hopes and expectations they had as young boys?

Did they make it to the front line?

And if so, did they make it back in one piece?

-Stand ready!

-SOLDIERS: Up!

-Show me your war face!

-THEY SCREAM

Stop being weak!

18 months ago, this series started following a group of new army recruits.

-Next man in!

-What do you see?

From day one, basic training...

..to front line combat in Afghanistan.

Now, as some prepare to come home,

the three of them look back on the journey they've made.

It made me realise - and also appreciate -

my parents and my family more, and also what I've got.

My head was quite all over the place then, anyway.

You just don't think it's going to happen to you.

Catterick, North Yorkshire.

The Infantry Training Centre.

And day one of a gruelling six-month basic training course.

For the new recruits and their families,

it was the beginning of a new life in the British Army.

Pick your kit up. Follow me.

The way I thought of it is,

I'm going away for five weeks on holiday. See you all soon!

Rifleman Howard.

Your heart drops and you think, "Shit, we're here! This is it!"

I wasn't excited, or I wasn't nervous or anything.

I was just keen to get started.

Fellas, get your ties off.

Right, lads, if you've got a shirt on, take it off now.

Next two, let's go.

The three new recruits were part of a 23-man training platoon.

And if they graduated as professional soldiers,

they would be joining one of the army's biggest regiments,

the Rifles.

Send him in.

Before joining, 19-year-old Ashley Cavanagh was stacking shelves in Asda.

-Afternoon.

-Afternoon.

-So what's your name?

-It's Cavanagh, sir.

Cavanagh, right.

Basically, from today,

you will serve a minimum of four years.

I joined off my own back, nobody told me to go.

Nobody said, "Oh, you should join the army."

I joined the army because I looked into it so much.

And...

it was totally my decision.

Ashley is the oldest son of Michelle and David Cavanagh.

But they both shared different views on his plan to become a soldier.

The instant Ashley mentioned army, David would worry.

The instant he mentioned army to me,

"Great, going to have a fantastic life."

Michelle's father was a soldier,

and she spent her childhood growing up on army bases around the world.

I used to remember going up to the barracks with my dad in Paphos, in Cyprus,

helping him with the mail for the soldiers.

Life was great. We used to start school early, finish, go down to the beach. We had a great life.

And me dad's was good, as well as a soldier.

You could think to yourself, "Well, yeah...

"Let's not go in, there's Afghanistan,

"I could get killed, or he could get killed."

To me, there's always going to be an Afghanistan.

ALARM CLOCK BEEPING

Before the new recruits could get stuck into

the rough and tumble of soldiering,

they had to get to grips with the basics.

Do not get the blade and go side to side, all right?

Sideboards, not down here, they're in the middle.

Happy with that, lads?

SOLDIERS: Corporal.

Ensuring that you keep that line,

use your hand to keep it flush all the way down.

-I'm going to be here all night!

-Left turn!

SOLDIERS: One stop, two stop, three stop, out!

You got it wrong!

For your week five inspection by the OC,

your locker has to look EXACTLY like that,

and when I say exactly, I mean the finest detail.

What's that?

Sorry, sergeant.

-No, I'm asking what it is.

-Piece of paper, sergeant.

You've got empty bottles at the bottom of your locker.

-It's got change...

-Get it out!

It's got 30 bastard odd pence in!

Grip, grip.

When you've done your laces and that,

tuck your laces in. Then with your sock, pull it over the top,

so it hides your lace, so they don't fucking fall out or owt like that. Pull that over the top.

Unlike most of the new recruits at Catterick,

22-year-old Darren Meads

had already done a tour of duty in Afghanistan

when he was a part-time soldier with the Territorial Army.

Darren had said, "Don't tell anybody."

"Don't tell anybody I've been in the TAs."

He wanted to start at the bottom,

with the lads at the bottom, and work his way up.

Cos you're that tired, you just laugh at it, don't you?

'I didn't want any special treatment.'

I wanted to be treated the same as everybody else there,

because I didn't want to isolate myself with that kind of experience.

But at the same time, I wanted to tell them so I could help them,

like, through training and things like that.

But, no. I think it was purely for the fact

that I didn't want to be treated differently.

'I wanted to be exactly the same as everybody else and start fresh.'

Couldn't stop laughing.

When he were running around in little uniforms,

when he were about three.

He's always been a superhero.

He's going to hate me for this!

Superman cape, Batman cape.

He's always wanted a uniform.

He's always wanted to be a superhero.

We used to make them rather than...

..rather than buy them, we made them.

Like, Superman capes and things,

and Mask of Zorro, and cowboys, and stuff like that.

I just loved it. I always wanted to do it.

-Ready to march!

-SOLDIERS: Ready to march!

Quick march!

SOLDIERS: Quick march!

To cut it as an infantry soldier in Afghanistan,

the recruits had to work on the most important attribute they would need...

Double march!

..fitness.

Stop making girly noises!

And for former hairdresser Lee,

the new regime took some adjusting to.

Get your kit on! Get it on!

Get a move on! All of your kit!

You're going to run there, and then you're going to run back.

Last one back goes again.

And you're sort of looking, thinking,

"You can't mean over there?"

Don't piss me about, gentlemen!

Put it up!

Get on your belt buckles, not crawl!

He's losing a lot of blood. Let's go!

Don't fucking stop!

You wouldn't stop on the battlefield!

We got back, he said, "Right, lads. That's just the beginning.

"That's nothing compared to what you'll go through."

Do you remember playing soldiers when you were a kid?

To be honest, right, it sounds stupid,

but when I was living with my brother in Tonbridge Road,

we always used to, like, mess about.

And I remember when I was little

that we used to make bases in our bedroom and start shooting,

and Chris was always making his stupid gun noise!

Gun noise, yeah! He can still do that noise.

Yeah, we always used to do that.

And nobody thought then, we were only little.

But, yeah, that's probably...

back then it was a bit different.

Nine months before Lee joined the army, his older brother Chris -

also a serving soldier -

was blown up whilst on patrol in Afghanistan.

When an explosion goes off, you feel the, um...

the force of it first.

It's like a wave, a shockwave.

It's like any explosion you have,

you'll feel the shockwave before you hear it. Phhow!

And I felt a shockwave,

and then it went all black in the background,

like everything else,

and then I just remember, cos obviously all the dust kicks off.

You don't know what injuries you've got yet.

And obviously my right hand...

I lost three fingers... well, three-and-a-half fingers.

I've still got my thumb and a bit of my palm.

Lost half the hand,

and I've got a fixed wrist now, so I can't bend it.

And that's it, really.

That's all my injuries.

I was quite lucky, really, compared to some others.

Chris had his accident, and then Lee said, "I want to join the Army."

Hmm.

We did tell Chris, or I did!

Yeah. I remember that, yeah.

And Chris was like, "No way, no way."

Chris hit the roof.

First thing he said to me was...

"Do you want to... Are you stupid?

-"Look at your brother."

-Yeah.

But at that time, it was all going on,

so it was hard, really.

After the first five weeks in the army,

the recruits faced a pivotal moment.

They had to pass an exacting inspection by their superior officer.

-Ten minutes' time.

-Ten minutes' time?!

Come on!

If they fail to pass muster,

they wouldn't receive their regimental berets,

or be granted the luxury of a weekend back home.

If you don't do it properly and you don't pass,

then you don't wear your beret and everyone else does,

and no-one wants that.

Stressed!

They make you worry and panic so you learn it more.

You're memorising everything,

making sure everything's perfect, neatly ironed and clean.

It's really good.

Looking back now, it's really good,

how they mind-fuck you.

Section! SOLDIERS SHOUT

All right, sir? Two Section ready for your inspection, sir.

-Good morning, guys. SOLDIERS:

-Morning, sir.

I don't want you to scream and shout your name, rank and number.

I just want you to clearly articulate who you are,

and which Battalion you may wish to join

when you've finished your training here at ITC Catterick.

Right. Good morning.

Morning, sir. I am 30123761 Rifleman Cavanagh, sir.

I wish to join Two or Three... 3rd Battalion The Rifles, sir.

-Have you got anyone coming up for Families Day?

-I have, sir.

-Are they looking forward to it?

-Yes, sir.

Fantastic. Going to be a good weekend.

What are your plans for the weekend?

Spending it with my mates, sir.

-When you've passed off The Square, yeah?

-Hopefully, sir. Yes, sir.

Are you confident with your drill?

-Umm...as confident as I can be sir, yes.

-Good.

My brother's in the 2nd Rifles, sir.

-Is he?

-Yes, sir.

-How long's he been serving?

Three years, sir.

Good. Did he do the last tour with 2 Rifles?

Yes, sir. He was injured, sir.

OK. No, I heard about him. That's right. OK.

But that was a good effort this morning. So well done to all of you.

-SOLDIERS:

-Thank you, sir.

Good. Thanks Corporal Donnelly.

Thank you, guys.

Well done. Cheers.

-Good effort guys. Well done.

-Thank you, sir.

Once he's gone, you're like,

"Fuck, that was good! I'm proud of that!"

-Smashed that!

-Well done, guys. Very good effort.

-Thank you, sir.

You don't just get given this.

It requires five weeks of really hard, hard work.

And I know that you've faced a lot of challenges along the way.

-Very, very richly deserved, well done.

-Thanks a lot.

Congratulations.

Doesn't come easy, does it?

Fantastic. You look like a soldier already!

-Thank you, sir.

-Good man.

All right, congratulations. Well done.

Proud? God, I was well excited!

You feel like that's the beginning.

But you know you've got a long way to go.

But, yeah, it's a good feeling.

Big time good feeling, yeah.

Morning, sir.

-Morning, Cavanagh, how are you?

-Well, sir.

Good. Get it off.

'I was proud.'

'Yeah, I've achieved something.

'I've achieved more in them five weeks than I have in my whole life,

'so, yeah, I was very proud, yeah.'

I knew that when my mum will see me,

I can iron, I can wash, I can cook, I can clean, you know.

I'm not lazy. I get up this time of the morning.

I could go back and say,

"You can now be proud of your son", you know,

that's what I was happy about, yeah.

It meant a lot to you?

Yeah, yeah, cos I was a twat, so...! Yeah.

-OK, listen. Stand - READY!

-Up!

Move to your right. Quick march!

Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left...

Don't embarrass yourselves in front of your parents, fellas.

Facing right!

Stand ready!

To your right, fall...out!

Hi, Mum. You all right?

-Yeah.

-All right!

-You all right, Dad, yeah?

-All right, mate?

-Yeah, yeah.

Hello, Bruv.

Where's your hair?

For me, it was the fact that he'd got through all that training,

I couldn't believe he'd stuck to it.

I really thought there was no way, he'd be back in a week.

But no, he stuck it out, and for that...

There's no way I could have done it.

I don't think David could have done it at his age.

So for that, he deserved a medal.

He did. Yeah. David would have been home in a week!

Wouldn't have liked going in all that dirty water, would you?

Cheers, Ginger Dave.

During his first weekend off for five weeks,

Ashley and his dad were making the most of their time together.

But it wasn't long until the conversation turned to Afghanistan.

I truthfully, genuinely do enjoy it.

It's great, I really do, I love it. I can't believe I've got my beret.

I didn't think I were going to last five weeks.

Cos it's been so hard, it has.

You think it were bad when I left for five weeks?

You were crying, Dad, yeah? How do you think it'll feel,

the day before I go off, and I say, "Right, I'm off to Afghan, Dad. Bye"?

That could be the last time we see each other. Know what I mean?

That doesn't bear thinking about, does it? But...

The whole thing had been really emotional from start to finish.

And, and as I said before, I was constantly looking

on the website with Afghanistan, the news were on 24/7.

So the whole thing was really playing on my mind.

Quite upsetting, really,

because it really kind of hit home on that particular night.

That's why I got a bit emotional about it.

Sorry.

Because I don't want him to go there.

I can't think of any worse thing

than, you know, being told that

your son's been killed, you know, through...

You know, for what?

After enjoying their first weekend off,

it was straight back to work for the new recruits

as their training became even more intense.

Welcome to bayonet lesson one.

Throughout your time in the infantry,

it may occur when you're out in Afghanistan,

you may need to close and engage with the enemy with bayonets fitted.

It's a psychological thing.

If the enemy see you running at them with a bayonet

and know you'll thrust it into their sternum

they'll be shitting themselves, won't they?

-Yes, Corporal!

-OK.

Fix bayonets!

Remove scabbards!

It's time to switch on now.

It's getting serious now. It's...

time to become a soldier.

-Adopt the high port position!

-High port!

It took you to...to war.

It took you to Afghanistan, kind of, in a way.

On guard!

-On guard!

-High port!

-High port!

That's a shit one, Cavanagh!

-Front rank, on guard!

-On guard!

Show me some fucking aggression, front rank!

It just took me to how I thought it was going to be.

And the adrenaline, obviously with what's going on,

I did want to just kill that sandbag!

Fucking switch on, Howard!

-Are you fucking stupid?

-Yes, Corporal!

-You fucking are, aren't you?

-Yes, Corporal!

-Take your fucking bayonet!

-Taking bayonet, Corporal!

Go round the left-hand side!

Yes, Corporal!

I've never been that... sort of aggressive.

You're not really thinking about anything else

but doing what you were asked to do.

Imagine these dummies

are the fucking Taliban that have just killed some of your mates!

Show me your war face!

THEY YELL

Need some fucking more aggression. Show me your war face.

Show me your war face!

THEY YELL LOUDER

What do we want to do to the enemy?

Kill!

Right, lads!

ALL YELLING

Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!

Kill! Kill! Kill!

OK, hold it there.

Check bayonets! Go!

I think people had just snapped and just thought,

"I'm not fit enough for this,

"I'm not mentally strong enough for this."

And that's when people would start falling back and realised,

"No, I don't think I can do this."

Of the 390 British soldiers that have been killed in Afghanistan,

over 300 of them were trained at Catterick.

So for all new recruits, an essential part of the training

was to understand exactly what they were signing up for.

We've got to be honest about what we do. There is a chance

that you or I could be killed on operations in Afghanistan.

If you didn't realise that by now, it's time to realise. OK?

There's people dying out there.

I think the more in-depth that you get in training,

the more you hear about it, the more... You know, it's not hidden.

You need to know about it, or else

if you go out there, oblivious to what's going to happen...

so I think it's best to know what's going to happen

and to prepare yourself.

Be under no illusions what you're committing yourselves to, gentlemen.

That went on all day from dusk till dawn.

Eight weeks into basic training,

the pressure began to build for Lee.

I'd already had someone very close to me,

and he's not... he's come back not whole.

So I was the only one there that really knew what he was on about.

My head was quite all over the place then, anyway

but at the time I didn't think it was, until I was there, doing it.

What's your last two of your army number, Howard?

Six-four, Corporal.

I didn't realise how, really,

I was still thinking about, sort of, my brother's accident.

He was ringing me in tears and, you know, just desperate to come home.

So I was glad he was able to come home.

Feel like I've failed myself, not anyone else.

But they didn't have what's going on in your life, Lee.

They didn't have all of that.

If you didn't have all of that, then you'd have passed out.

They didn't have all that.

-No.

-So...

No member of the public could possibly ever think about

what we all went through with Chrissie.

I mean it was absolutely horrendous,

so it's not like, "Oh, he just got blown up."

But we went through absolute hell.

Absolute hell.

And for former shelf-stacker Ashley,

the prospect of fighting on the front line

also proved too much.

I did not want to leave, I didn't want to leave the army.

My mind was in the wrong place.

I probably had a lot of influence,

in some respects, of him possibly coming out

because I was constantly talking about Afghanistan all the time.

Probably wrongly, really,

but that's just how I felt at the time, you know.

Because of the bond between me and my dad, I listen to him a lot.

And the influence is so great, with what he says, I do try and listen.

And I probably listened a bit too much.

I'm not blaming it on him,

the reason why I left, but it did have a part to play, definitely.

Looking past Afghanistan, but I don't think my dad could.

It kind of brushed onto me, and that's why I couldn't.

I knew, as soon as he decided to come out, I knew he'd regret it.

-And he did, the instant...

-Yeah. He did.

That day, he just absolutely broke his heart crying, the instant.

I knew it, I knew it'd happen.

I didn't want my son to go off to war and die, I didn't.

But I knew that

the army was for him.

-Left!

-Right!

-Left!

-Right!

-Left!

Of the 23 recruits who started basic training,

only ten now remain.

All committed to serve Queen and country for the next four years.

And halfway through the course,

they were given the news they'd all been nervously awaiting.

They were about to be told which one of the five Rifle battalions

they were to be assigned to,

and crucially, when they would be deployed to the front line.

-It's our lives they're playing around with here.

-Four years of it.

It's been so emotional these last two days.

In you go, guys.

If they are assigned to 1 Rifles,

they'd be on a flight to Afghanistan in less than six months' time.

The moment has arrived, the one you've all been waiting for.

This list will not change.

Where you're going, you will go, basically,

and that's the end of the story.

OK? Cos you all know 1 Rifles are going on tour first,

so they're the guys who need people.

Right, so here goes.

-Ross, 2 Rifles.

-Sir.

Charnley,

2 Rifles.

Meads, 1 Rifles.

Darren's first call was to his mum

to tell her when he would be deployed.

-'Yeah, but when are they going on tour?'

-March.

'So you're going in March.'

And you do three months' deployment training before.

So basically, as soon as I pass out of here...

-'You're going straight into training.'

-Yeah.

'How do you feel about that?'

There's fuck all I can do about it though, is there?

I needed to pick him up.

I needed to get him back up, I needed to get him back on a high

so that he can focus on what's in front

rather than thinking about anything else.

'Is it because, 1 Rifles, I've been reading about it on the internet.

'It's quite an elite battalion.

'It's the best of the best, if you like.'

-She's doing her fucking history now.

-'They've seen something in you.

'There's only six men out of 1st Rifles been killed through this war.

'That's quite a low number compared to all the rest.'

Fucking hell, I didn't even know that!

'I don't know if they've seen something in you

'and thought you've got the heart and the balls for it.

'You're not farting around, messing about. You're getting on with it.

'I think they've seen that and they think,

"You're not going to shit around. Let's give you the elite group."

'It's Number 1, come on.'

-'Yeah, love?'

-You just think I'm a ninja.

'You are a ninja! You're a ninja!

'Come on!

'You are the ninja, you need to be with the ninja group.'

All right, I'll give you a ring later on anyway.

-'All right, darling. I love you.'

-Love you too.

-'See you later. Bye.'

-Bye.

You just want to give him a hug and say, "Aw, bless you, just leave,"

but he were signed up for four years. I wouldn't, he couldn't do that.

When she puts it like that, that I'm a ninja,

you just think, "Well, I'm going be a ninja!"

Yeah, I'm happy with that.

I don't know how she changed my mind, but she did.

I think, I think she knew, like, if I wasn't happy where I was going,

it could be dangerous for me going on tour with them.

Because I wouldn't have been... I'm not focused,

I'm not determined anymore, my motivation's gone.

And if you're going on tour like that, you're in a world of pain.

After six months' basic training

that saw over half his fellow recruits quit,

Darren Meads was preparing to pass out as an infantry soldier.

Done.

But back on Civvy Street, four months after he left the army,

Lee Howard was adjusting to his new life.

Yep. That's about what we're doing!

So many people, when I was there,

said, "Don't leave for these reasons. You're going to regret it."

And at that time,

I didn't think I would regret the decision then,

but I really do regret it, big time, coming out.

I think now it's one of the worst mistakes I've made.

MARCHING BAND PLAYS

Tremendous stuff.

Absolutely inspirational stuff from the young guys going through...

-DARREN:

-It's a really good feeling to know your family's there

and they can see what you've achieved,

standing there in your number twos on parade.

You just feel like you've just become a man.

MUSIC: "Corner" by Allie Moss

Hello!

I was so proud of you.

Darren was assigned to 1st Battalion, the Rifles.

Based in Chepstow on the Welsh border,

it will be his home for the next four years.

# We have choices to make

# We have promises that we can't break... #

The Catterick experience, I think he was on quite a high.

I mean everybody looked up to him.

The minute he got to Chepstow, I think they thought,

I think the lads thought, "Oh, no, you don't!

"Cocky little bugger, no, you don't!"

Having spent six months surrounded by other new recruits,

Darren was now lining up

with veterans of recent combat campaigns in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Fuck me!

You're fucking tickling them. That's what half of you are doing!

-How come you haven't shaved this morning?

-I have, sir.

-Really?

-Yeah, I did, sir.

With what? A fucking mess tin?

Darren was assigned to A Company

under the command of Major Carl Boswell,

also known as Chuckles.

-How are you?

-Not bad, thank you, sir.

-Doncaster.

-Yes, sir.

What's up in Doncaster?

That's where all my family is, sir.

Whoa!

Can we get that fixed?

He had less than five months

to prepare and mentor his newly graduated soldiers.

How's your fitness?

-It's improving.

-Improving.

To get them ready for their first taste of combat.

I mean, day one, it's a rabbit in the headlights.

There is a massive training gap

between him coming out of the Infantry Training Centre

and then being ready to deploy on operations.

There were a lot of things that needed to happen

It's trying to adapt the basic skills we have for fighting any war...

DETECTOR BLEEPS

..and making them very specific for the war we were about to embark on.

What we're going to cover today is the IED threats,

types of IEDs you're going to face.

Darren's training was focused on preparing for situations

he may encounter in Afghanistan.

MARKET SOUNDS

EXPLOSION

He's got gunshot, shrapnel wounds to the chest.

And he's been hit in the neck.

Yeah, we went on a lot of exercises.

Personally, looking back, they were all shit, I fucking hated them all.

Cos I fucking hate exercise in the cold. But hey, that's just me.

Urgh!

He were battered and bruised, his feet were a mess,

he'd got cuts and bruises, he were walking around like an old man

and I'm thinking, "What are they doing to you?

"They can't send you to Afghanistan like this!"

We nicknamed the whole fucking thing Normandy

cos it was that bad, it was that bad.

But, yeah, it was... I look back now and I just think,

"Fuck, that was good!"

Company commander Chuckles has a wife and two young children.

As their deployment date got closer,

his wife Polly could see first-hand

how the pressure of leading his young soldiers to war

bore down heavily upon him.

Good one!

I can feel his weight of responsibility.

That's what I get from him.

It's always about the boys, always about looking after them,

you know, how good they are, how... he puts so much faith in them.

11 months after Darren joined the army,

the day his mum had been dreading finally arrived.

It's upsetting, I feel really emotional,

I'm trying to be...

..calm and...for his sake.

What do you say?

What do you say to your mum?

"I'm going to a war zone. Bye."

I don't know, there's nothing you can do,

nothing you can say to family and loved ones

that'll comfort them or, you know what I mean, help them.

Tour starts now.

Check your kit, check you've got your helmet,

check you've got all your good stuff.

-Happy days. Everyone understand?

-ALL:

-Yeah.

I just remember thinking, "Fuck, I hope I come back here.

"I fucking hope I come back."

-Nesbitt.

-Sir.

-Williams.

-Sir.

-Rifleman Bishop.

-Yes, sir.

-Cornish.

-Yes, sir.

-Meads.

-Yes, sir.

But it were horrible. It... It were horrible.

Do you know, when I took him to nursery,

he was the one that they used to have to pull him away from me.

He wouldn't be left, he wouldn't even go to a birthday party

if I weren't stopping.

He wouldn't, he wouldn't go, he'd refuse to go to this party.

And now, all of a sudden, he's as far away as he can possibly be.

As the soldiers of 1 Rifles headed off to war,

20-year-old Ashley was working as a service advisor in a car showroom.

It's the not the job that I don't like, cos the job's good,

but I just hate being home, I just hate being here,

and I'm wishing I'd listened to Corporal Stewart,

because he was so right.

He said to me before the day I leave,

"I'm a good judge of character, and I know that,

"I promise you'll miss it."

He said, "Cavanagh, I promise you'll miss it."

And he was so right.

And I've got to be here every day...

..instead of doing something that I actually wanted to do with my life.

I think Ashley realises that, um,

what kind of life has he got not in the army?

You know, he could be alive, but what else has he got, really?

I've come out, and I know that people think I'm a loser,

and I just went because... I left because I was scared,

because I couldn't hack it, all the criticism that's come.

But it's bollocks, you know. I left on a flim, I was scared,

but I can guarantee everybody else will have been.

But, you know...

The men of A Company were to operate in the district of Nar-e-Saraj,

one of the most dangerous places in Afghanistan.

Stationed at Patrol Base Four and its three surrounding checkpoints.

For seven months, twice a day,

the soldiers of A Company went out on foot patrol

to try and drive the Taliban away from the local communities.

And by far the biggest threat they faced on the ground

was the improvised explosive device, or IED.

He's found something.

Fire in the hole!

It wasn't long into the tour until Darren started playing

a vital role in every patrol he went on...

..the point man.

Point man is basically, you are the lead man of the whole multiple.

So wherever you go, they're going to go.

So you need to pick a route.

A safe route.

You need to find IEDs on the ground and hopefully, you know what I mean,

stop them from going off, catch them before you do stand on them.

HE IMITATES GUNFIRE

Darren had a natural ability to detect suspicious disturbances out on patrol,

ground signs that could potentially be IEDs.

I was originally at the back, the very back, last man.

And I remember I went out on a few patrols, and Gary, Corporal Craig,

like, I'd pointed out a few ground signs to him that had been missed,

and he, like, realised, you know what I mean?

"He's spotting better ground signs,

"so we'll put him at the front and see what he's like."

And that's how it come about,

and I'm just really good at it.

I tell you what, I bet you he volunteered for that job,

I bet you any money he volunteered.

He won't trust anybody else to do that. Crackers, my lad.

Absolutely crazy. What's he like?

DETECTOR BEEPS

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

What's the problem?

See the rocks by the tree there?

Just going to have a quick look at this here.

You can just tell if something's there or not.

I don't know what it is, but you just, you just know,

you just think, "I think there's something there." So you check it.

You just become gentle. You become the softest soldier ever.

And you're just slowly clearing it, you're slowly clearing it.

Cos anything could set it off.

All clear.

Every point man, I salute all of them.

They're exceptionally brave, more brave than I ever am.

Yeah, I've got eyes on Meads now.

'It's amazing how many of them just grow into this role,

'and they take it as their sole responsibility in life -

'to keep their mates safe on a daily basis.'

Yeah, Rifleman Meads has done that role really, really well this tour.

As well as patrolling the local areas,

the soldiers would also find themselves face-to-face with the Taliban

and engaged in firefights.

Think light feet. Light feet, all right?

GUNSHOTS

250 metres, down to the corner!

GUNFIRE CONTINUES

-Confirm three-three!

-Three-three.

When you're in contact,

you're hit immediately by this sort of buzz of adrenaline,

this huge surge of adrenaline.

GUNFIRE CONTINUES

You are hit by fear. There is very real fear,

especially when you hear that round coming past your head,

and you realise, "That was aimed at me."

Down. Down.

That way!

We've got to start peeling north.

We're going to get fucking wrapped up here, let's go north.

Unit, go, go, go, go!

You need a stack-load of physical courage out there.

18, 19-year-olds who are actually being shot at, sometimes daily,

not knowing when they lose a mate who's been hit by an IED,

or they're in contact, they've been shot,

so there's a very real physical courage,

and you don't know if you've got that

until you're actually standing on that wall being shot at.

'Initially, like, when the rounds are coming in,'

yeah, you get a bit scared.

But straightaway... That's like a split second,

then straightaway, you're in it.

You're straight on it. All our blokes are.

It's a good experience.

Definitely one that none of us would forget, anyway.

Fighting in such a dangerous part of Afghanistan

meant that A Company paid a heavy price.

They took over 30 casualties and two fatalities.

There were some tough moments, absolutely. And you look back

and the tough moments are sort of small moments in time you can box up

and put in the back of your head,

and they'll come out one day when you're ready for them to come out.

I bottle it up.

And I choose to ignore it and I choose to get on with my job.

I put on a brave face, as they say. That's how I deal with it.

Back in the UK, families would worry

if they didn't regularly hear from their loved ones.

You don't sleep properly when they're over there.

You can't sleep, not properly. I'm always carrying my phone around,

I've always got my phone in my hand, even at work.

If anybody sees me walking round the offices,

I've got my mobile in my hand.

If something happens over there, they put the minimisers on,

so there's no contact whatsoever from them to us.

It's like if he's at the PB, he's constantly on Facebook.

Then all of a sudden, you don't hear from him.

You think, "Minimisers are on. Oh, my God, what's happened?"

That's scary. Cos you know somebody somewhere is getting some bad news.

British soldier from the Engineers killed.

And it's just such a tiny little strap at the bottom -

when to us it's so important. So, you know...

But that's, I suppose, anything, isn't it?

They'll cut to the weather any minute!

It's up there, with that important...

It became more worrying, you know. It just got more worrying.

And the more causalities, and then we had some fatalities,

and that's when you... I think you do really start thinking.

But then you push it to the back of your mind again, and you plough on,

but you're always getting texts from someone saying,

"Oh, I haven't heard anything on any of the websites for 24 hours, is there minimise?"

And then suddenly it all comes back to the front of you again, and you're thinking,

"OK, I mustn't think about this." I think that kind of comes in waves.

Two patrols a day,

seven days a week,

carrying over 100 kilos of equipment in 50-degree heat.

The harsh conditions of living in a war zone were starting to take their toll.

'If you had a camera, you would only film fighting.

'You would only film bombs.'

Cos that's... All you'd take photos of is helicopters, bombs going off,

contacts, and things like that.

So that's all they're going to see back home.

Or, like, the casualties, things like that, that's all they'll see.

They don't see how we're living and how...

what we go through from day to day,

such as cleaning your own clothes.

And just the basic living conditions, you know,

in a small mud hut room.

To be quite honest with you, at the minute, I couldn't give a flying fuck about the country.

I'm just doing my job, doing what I'm told.

And then just go home. That's it.

For the rest of the tour,

Chuckles led his young soldiers from the front.

Can you get eyes on the wagon, east to west, from three-eight?

And Darren acted as point man.

Now, after seven months, and over 400 patrols,

the tour is finally over.

18 months ago, Darren was a new recruit.

Now he returns home a veteran of the war in Afghanistan.

Next, please.

'It's been non-stop, really.

'From training to training, to Afghan, and then finally going home.'

Next, please.

They're coming home! They're coming home.

You start picturing in your head how that moment is going to go.

You play it out in your head,

constantly, constantly, constantly, constantly.

EXCITED CHATTER

Oh, God!

Oh, my God.

ALL CHEER

Just seeing Polly and seeing Hector and Nancy is really emotional.

Very emotional.

I'll start getting emotional now, you know!

There he is! Look! There he is!

-Can you see him?

-BOTH: JD!

I can't see him.

There he is, there he is. Look. There he is.

SHE SCREAMS

SHE SOBS

Dry your eyes, dry your eyes.

-Dry your eyes, Mum!

-So good to have you back.

Oh, it was such a good feeling.

It's horrible being away for so long.

'They've lost quite a few.'

Five lads this tour.

That's five families.

Five mums.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

After completing their tour, the battalion are given a hero's welcome

through their local town of Chepstow.

Whilst you're there in Afghan,

you don't think anybody back home gives a flying fuck about you.

It's nice to know that other people are thinking about you and supporting you,

rather than just your loved ones.

Whilst Darren is pleased to back alive,

Ashley and Lee, who joined up with him but quit in training,

are still on Civvy Street.

They're both planning to rejoin the army.

I've been spending a lot of time with my brother since.

And I feel like now I've accepted it,

I feel all right about it now. I've spoken to him about it,

and my mind's in the right place now,

where I just need to get back and do it. Do it properly this time.

I know I left, but, you know, I do regret that.

But I really want to go to Afghanistan.

If I could go tomorrow, I would go. I would, I would go. Yeah.

With all my heart, I would go there

and I would prove myself that I can do it.

And the fact that I was just... It wasn't my time,

not that I was worried or scared, it was just not my time.

So that's why I do want to go back. I want to go.

Before I die, I'm going to go to Afghanistan - if we're still there.

You do not go to do the Queen's duty without risk.

There have been 81 battle injuries during the tour.

And of these, ten are what we describe as life-changing.

In the battle group,

ten of our people have been killed in action.

Five of them are from 1 Rifles.

They've gone, we've lost good men.

And, you know, I think about them all the time.

I think about the times that... Do you know what I mean? ..I had with them.

Like, all the training before we were leaving, and things like that.

But that's all you can do -

just think about the times that you had together.

The good times, rather than the bad.

It just helps you get on with it and accept the fact that they've gone.

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