Is Breast Best? Cherry Healey Investigates

Breastfeeding - the most natural thing in the world - but it still raises eyebrows.

For many it can be ultimate bliss, or lead to anguish.

My nipple started bleeding!

'I'm going to embark on a personal journey to confront my own breastfeeding nightmare.'

My boobs were red and burning and it was agony!

'Remarkable women will share their most intimate experiences, challenge my views and change my outlook.'

You need a smack.

What a stupid thing to say.

'I'll meet the breastfeeding evangelists,

'and others who remind me of the discomfort I went through,

'pregnant teens that have other ideas for their boobs...'

Boobs are for...sex.

'..and a mum who shocks me by breastfeeding her five-year-old.

'I'm on a mission to find out if breast really is always best.'

It's not just some white stuff that leaks and is really annoying, which is how I viewed it before.

'My name is Cherry, and last year, along with a group of other women,

'I made a programme about pregnancy where I ended up giving birth on camera to my first child, Coco.'

Do you want it? Mm!

'But when the camera stopped filming, my journey into motherhood took a turn for the worse.'

I was absolutely sure that I was going to be able to breastfeed.

I just assumed that it would be easy and fine.

And when it came to it, it was absolutely not in any way fine or easy.

When I left hospital, I hadn't really got it yet, and then I went home and it just got worse.

My boobs got bigger and bigger as the milk wasn't being drained.

Every single time I breastfed it was absolute agony,

and it wasn't just a little twinge for the first minute.

It was for 20 minutes whilst she was breastfeeding until I couldn't cope with it any more and I gave up.

And actually by then

I had got mastitis, which is a breast infection,

and my boobs went bright red and were hotter than the sun and hard to touch.

It made me feel like a massive failure,

because I read all the time about how irresponsible it is to bottle-feed your baby,

and you read in the papers that it's terrible, breast is best,

and you think, "God, if breast is best and I've given my baby the bottle, what does that make me?

"What kind of mum does that make me?"

'In the end I was hospitalised with my breast infection.

'Breastfeeding can be a joy for many, but I couldn't cope and quit after just three weeks.'

'Over a year later, and I'm still racked with feelings of guilt.

'I'm ready to face my demons by meeting some new mums to discover the secrets of breastfeeding.'

'My journey starts in London.

'I'm off to meet 19-year-old Emma and boyfriend Humphrey with their newborn baby Olivia.

'Just like I was, Emma's determined to breastfeed, and now she's two weeks in.'

-Why did you want to breastfeed?

-Other than the obvious benefits of breastfeeding,

ie weight loss and antibodies for the baby,

I thought it would help me bond with her more.

The whole time I was in hospital, breastfeeding was working fine.

The second I got home, that's when my nipples just gave up and started cracking and bleeding.

Is it weird, because one minute you've got your gorgeous girlfriend and her boobs are yours,

and the next minute they're not. How's that for you?

I still find her very sexy and attractive.

She's the mother of my child.

What more could I ask for?

I've got a beautiful little daughter, and I'm just really happy, and I love her more than ever.

That's really made me really emotional.

-See you soon.

-I'll see you really soon. Bye.

'I'm astounded how mature this couple are as young parents.

'I've given Emma and Humphrey a camera to capture some of their breastfeeding experiences.'

And as the city goes to sleep, their night is only just beginning.

Olivia just went to sleep and she just...

Sorry, she's not going on.

It's really difficult that it hurts to feed, and trying to feed her,

and knowing she won't go to sleep without feeding when it just hurts so much.

Um...

So, yeah. I'm tired.

-Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

-Is it painful?

What's the pain like?

Like she's stabbing my boob.

I'm feeling less and less like a human being and more like a cow that just gets milked.

If it hurts cows this much, I'm going to go vegan.

I feel sorry for them.

Put the camera away so I can go to sleep. I'm tired.

OK.

Humphrey!

'Emma's sleepless nights remind me how utterly relentless I found breastfeeding.

'But many women don't give up breastfeeding due to pain.

'Problems can be resolved by teaching the baby

'to latch on properly and learning good positions.

'I've come to pay Emma a home visit.'

-Hello.

-Hiya. How are you?

-I'm good. How are you guys?

-Tired.

It's right there.

It's right there, there we go.

Oh, she's not on yet.

Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Try and describe the pain to me. What does it feel like right now?

Like someone is cutting into my boob.

And the problem is as well, it's not just her sucking, it actually hurts when my milk comes out.

So if I leak,

the pain is the same.

After all the sleep deprivation and the pain, how are you feeling right now?

Stressed, more than anything.

It really is frustrating not being able to do what you're supposed to do as a mother.

It's a really natural thing you've been given.

-How are you emotionally?

-It's making me feel schizophrenic.

It really is. Or rather like I've got a multiple personality disorder.

One second I'm happy and then next I'm in pain or stressed.

We did buy formula just because I did want to give my boobs a bit of a rest,

even if it was just for the night.

How did it make you feel when you gave her that first bottle?

I cried. I didn't give her it. I made Humphrey give her it because I didn't want to watch.

I literally looked at him and burst into tears and left the room.

He said, "Are you OK?" and I said "No. I feel like I've failed."

It shouldn't be coming out of a plastic container, it should be coming out of me.

You've given yourself such a high bar to reach in terms of being a mum.

Why is that?

Um, I've wanted kids my whole life, so whereas little girls are planning their marriage

and wedding when they're five or six,

I was planning how I wanted to raise my children. That's just who I am.

How long do you think you can go on like this?

I honestly don't know.

'I admire Emma's determination, and it really reminds me of the pain I felt.

'I wonder if it's just a matter of time before she gives up.

'Unlike Emma, the majority of teenagers in the UK won't give breastfeeding a second thought.

'Less than half of all under-20s will actually give it a go.

'To find out why they're so against breastfeeding,

'I've come to Ashton-under-Lyne to meet a group of pregnant teenagers and young mums.

'Before I meet them I have a cup of coffee with support worker Jenna,

'who herself was a teenage mum not so long ago.'

As a young parent you feel everything, every vibe.

So when you're walking down the street

and there's lads wolf whistling at you

and you've not got a baby and you feel sexy,

you're young and everything's fine, it's a nice thing.

But when you've got a baby and you're walking down the street, they look at you in a different sense.

More like, "Yeah, you're sexy, but you're a mum and you're easy,"

and it's obvious you've had sex and you've had a baby, and that's how they see it.

So breastfeeding is one step ahead.

You're not only declaring you've had sex and a baby, you've got your boobs on show.

What do you think could be done to help young girls breastfeed?

I think if you get another 19-year-old girl who has breastfed,

has had a baby, has breastfed, I did get mastitis, did go through pain,

but has still got a smile on their face to explain that,

they're more likely to open their mind to it.

'And on that note, we meet the girls.'

What are your plans for when your babies are born?

Do you have any feeding plans?

Bottle feeding.

-Why's that?

-I don't know.

I just don't imagine a baby on my nipple.

I'm quite shy with things like that, and I wouldn't want to do it in public.

There's a lot of people who look down their nose at you, even though it's for your baby,

and especially if you're young they will as well.

If you were out in a restaurant and you got your boob out

and you get chavs calling you a slag

because you've got your boobs out and you're a young teen mum.

You're just automatically a slag.

But it's true. People do look at you funny.

Even if it is for your baby, they'll still look at you funny as if to think,

"Why get your boobs out in public?"

You've got to do it. But they'll still look at you funny.

'The next one in line to give birth and really face these issues is 17-year-old Jessica.'

The type of women I expect to breastfeed are like

posh people with a few kids and a husband and a big house.

Boobs are for...sex. And showing off.

That's what they're there for.

It really confirms to me meeting these girls that if you're young

and you've got a baby and you're breastfeeding, you need to be really confident.

You need to be really confident to get over the fact that people are going to look at you

and make negative comments,

cos it hurts.

'Bitchy comments are always painful, regardless of how old you are.

'I'm going to come and catch up with Jessica once she's had her baby.'

For everyone I've met so far,

'breastfeeding is either a world of discomfort or they don't want to do it.

'It's time for me to see the other side and meet someone who finds it easy and fulfilling.

'In Brighton I've come to meet 22-year-old Maya and daughter Yara,

'who are in full, blissful breastfeeding swing.'

Hiya. Come in.

-Hello! Hello! Is it in here?

-Yeah.

Great.

-Oh, dear!

-Why did you want to breastfeed initially?

I was breastfed, my boyfriend was breastfed,

so why wouldn't I breastfeed?

It's all I've ever known and it's all he knew,

so it made sense to breastfeed my baby.

Obviously there's the financial benefits,

but then I started researching all sorts of things on the internet,

and the benefits of breastfeeding just massively outweigh those of formula.

What are the most important things for you about breastfeeding?

Currently it's the convenience. I don't have to sterilise bottles,

I don't have to warm anything up, I don't have to mix anything.

I just have to take out my boob, give it to my baby.

It's sterile, it's at the correct temperature,

it's tailored specifically to her, what she needs at this point in her life.

Do you enjoy breastfeeding?

I absolutely love it. It's given me a bond with my daughter that nobody will ever have.

It's a special mummy and daughter thing that we've got.

Yeah, and we'll have it for as long as she wants to be breastfeeding.

The appeal of drinking breast milk has caught on with the rest of the family.

Have you ever tried her breast milk?

-Yes, on a few occasions.

-Really?

-Yeah, there's just so much of it.

-How have you tried it?

-I've tried it on cereal.

-You've tried it on cereal?

You've actually had her breast milk on your cereal?

Yes.

What does it taste like?

Sweet. Sweeter than cow's milk.

You haven't just tasted it. I mean, you've gone to town with that!

It's free,

it's in the fridge,

and you only get about three days of it being safe in the fridge.

Go on, then, show me. I'll believe it when I see it.

So this is your favourite?

-Crunchy nut!

-And...

See, that's quite full.

Cornflakes with breast milk.

I'm impressed.

'Not wanting to waste what mother nature has given her,

'Maya has bigger plans in store for her breast milk.

'I'll be back to discover what she has in mind.'

But not everyone has been blessed with the breastfeeding fairy,

and unlike Maya, teenager Emma is still struggling.

Night-time is proving exhausting.

BABY CRIES

Time to feed her.

What's happening?

It's 2am. I'm trying to make her latch on, which she isn't doing.

BABY CRIES

Olivia.

SHE WINCES

Was that painful just there? Can you describe it to me?

I've been describing it to you, Humphrey.

I've described it to you five times.

It's the same pain, it's not going to change.

I just want to sleep. I can't reiterate that any more.

I sound like an ongoing record, I just want to sleep.

Please stop smiling, Humphrey.

After more sleepless nights, Emma's arranged to see a breastfeeding support group.

The clinic offers free advice to struggling mums, and they waste no time.

Nose to nipple.

Bring her chin in first, so her chin touches your breast first. Now bring her onto you.

Big, wide mouth.

It still hurts.

Try and hold her behind the shoulders, not the back of the head if you can.

No, I don't think she's on properly.

Just slide your finger in and let's try again.

That's it.

You have to move very quickly before she closes her mouth.

That's it. You see the tongue there? When you see that lovely big mouth with the tongue down,

-that's the point to bring her on.

-That works. This arm is going dead, though.

You should take your nipples on holiday after this.

Leave you at home with Daddy's nipples.

That's it. Well done.

Well done. That was a good one.

She's being amazing, but I must say, if I were her I would be in floods of tears right now.

Her nipples look really sore and inflamed and purple.

It's such a faff!

The baby kind of scratches her nipple which hurts, she can't get onto the right position.

There just seems so many problems.

I just can't believe Emma is still breastfeeding.

I really, really respect her for that, because I would have given up.

Thank God for places like this.

'And places like this exist up and down the country and are open to anyone in need of help.

'Time will tell if Emma's breastfeeding has been improved.

'Meeting such determined breastfeeders makes me wonder why

'our breastfeeding rates are the second-lowest in 32 countries.

'To find out more, I've arranged to meet consultant paediatrician Dr Colin Michie.'

Why are breastfeeding rates in the UK so low?

The long and the short of it is breastfeeding is no longer popular.

I always feel the system at some point has let us down.

We haven't designed a system

that promotes breastfeeding sufficiently powerfully.

It is better than formula, on all the systems of measurement that we have.

Is it a bit better than formula, or is it in a different league to formula?

You'll be protecting your baby against infections.

There's a group of benefits to do with protecting the mother,

so lactation and feeding one's baby protects one against certain sets of cancers.

If you breastfeed your baby, you bond and communicate with that baby differently to if you had a bottle.

There's a set of different measurements and systems you can use to say breast is better than bottle.

Is there any scientific proof that breastfeeding your baby

directly from your boob actually increases the bond with them?

Yes. There's a set of studies to do with hormones and neurological messages between the two.

So yes, to your question, most definitely.

I had incredibly bad mastitis.

My boobs were red and burning, and it was agony.

I couldn't breastfeed, but I was told by the midwife to keep breastfeeding.

Your midwife had it right in that what you need to do is get the milk flowing and get the milk out,

because engorgement with milk will cause inflammation.

But it was getting to the point where I was looking at her and crying

because I couldn't bear another feed.

So how can that be healthy for a mum to carry on breastfeeding when she's in that kind of state?

If infection develops, which it sounds like it did in your case,

you will get bugs growing inside the milk that's engorged in the breast,

and that is terribly, terribly painful.

That is so gross!

Infection in the milk within the breast is incredibly painful and can cause abscesses

and can damage your breast forever, so it's important to treat that.

But that's a slightly different problem and that is also called mastitis,

but the problem is one of infection in that case.

The early problem is cured by feeding the baby.

Later on if you develop infection, you need to be treated for infection,

and to re-establish feeding after that sort of situation is really hard.

And it is hard to return to breastfeeding.

There's no way I could have gone back,

'but hearing how important breast milk is doesn't make me feel like a great mother.

'I keep wondering - does breastfeeding get any easier when you have another baby?

'I've come to Colwyn Bay to meet second-time mum 35-year-old Lucy,

'who's due to have her baby any day now.

'I want to find out if breastfeeding experience counts for anything.'

-Hello.

-Hello. Hi, Cherry. I'm Lucy.

-Nice to meet you.

-And you.

Have you got a birth plan?

I just want it to try and be as natural as possible

because I had a difficult birth with James.

He got stuck.

But I'm hoping this time round cos I've done it once that it's going to be a lot easier.

-Do you know the sex?

-It's a little boy. Benjamin James.

James, after his brother.

So, you had a child, James.

Yes, and he unfortunately passed away last year.

He had heart failure, and died within a matter of 24 hours of being in hospital.

-It's your worst nightmare.

-Yes. Absolutely. It was just...

Absolutely completely devastated us all.

Has getting pregnant again helped you? Has it made it harder to deal with his death?

No, I think it's helped.

But, say I'd been older and wasn't able to have any more, I don't know what would have happened.

That was my little light at the end of the tunnel.

-You've had your baby shower.

-I have.

That was from the neighbour over the road, bless her.

How long did you breastfeed for?

I breastfed James for six months until he started eating solids and things,

and then I went back to work then as well and because I was on the road,

I thought it would be a bit hard to express.

Did you find that you enjoyed the breastfeeding?

I did. You've got that special, unique bondness with your baby,

and no-one else has got it.

You're providing them with their food and everything,

and it so helps you connect to each other, it's unbelievable.

Do you think you can have the same bond if you bottle-feed?

No, not at all.

I think breastfed babies are a lot closer to their mothers, I think, than bottle-fed.

But that's personal opinion.

Oh, wow! Oh, look!

Why have you got one of these?

I had it with James. Just to reassure yourself.

He normally has hiccups quite a lot of the time.

You can kind of hear it already.

'On my way home I couldn't stop thinking about my painful decision to formula-feed Coco,

'and it hammered home the guilt I feel.'

Lucy didn't even know my story.

She has no idea whether I bottle or breastfed.

So it wasn't her judging me at all, she was just speaking her mind.

The judgment absolutely came from me,

which is so weird. I didn't realise that I felt like that.

I thought that I was really happy with my decision and really empowered by my decision,

but actually, when somebody starts saying bottle-feeding is bad

I get really defensive and I want to justify why I made that decision.

I almost don't want to hear how amazing breastfeeding is

and how it helps your baby's IQ to be better and the health benefits and the bonding.

Oh! It makes me feel really guilty.

But that's not, that's not...

It doesn't mean that someone shouldn't say the benefits of breastfeeding.

It's just quite hard for me to hear.

'Just days later, and Lucy welcomes her second son into the world.

'Go on, Lucy. Go on, darling.'

Go on. Go on. And again.

Nice and big. Right into your bum.

Go on, go on. Keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going.

Keep it coming.

Thank you.

No, not quite.

Hey, get your little handy out. Ow! That's my nipple!

Ow!

He's got a good hold there, look.

That's it. Open wide.

It's hard work, this, isn't it?

There we go. It's just getting that right.

No.

Oh, that's it.

That's better.

Trying to get him on.

He did it better.

Baby Ben has finally managed to latch.

Back at home, Lucy's been keeping a diary cam.

Wide. Good boy.

Ow!

Toe-curling moment.

Just tried feeding Ben again and my nipple started bleeding.

He wouldn't suck.

Lucy's proof that experience doesn't necessarily mean an easy breastfeeding start.

I've been wondering - what happens if you want to continue feeding your baby breast milk

when maternity leave is up?

Just 16% of women are provided with facilities to express their milk once they resume work.

Combining the two has got to be tough.

What do you do if you're a workaholic career woman?

'During my pregnancy whilst making the birth programme, I met mum-to-be Tijen,

'a glamorous entrepreneur,

'who had particularly strong feelings about breastfeeding and her enhanced boobies.'

I don't like the idea of a baby latching on.

Why would I enjoy looking at my boobies?

My beautiful boobies have become udders.

Why would I enjoy that?

'And now, over a year later, I'm off to catch up with Tijen,

'who surprisingly is expecting her second baby.'

-Hello?

-Hello, Tijen!

-Hi! Come up.

-Thank you.

-Oh, my God!

-Hello!

Hello! Hi, darling!

-Let's not beat around the bush here, let's talk about boobs.

-OK.

Did you breastfeed? Are you breastfeeding?

What's the story?

OK. I gave up breastfeeding.

So I did breastfeed from day one to 11 months.

Wow! What?!

You breast...?!

-I'm truly shocked!

-I know, so am I.

You breastfed for 11 months?

I thought, there's no way Tijen's going to breastfeed.

-She's got a business, you're really busy.

-I was never going to breastfeed.

I didn't want to have a child hanging off my boobs.

-Really. I was just like, you know.

-Yeah.

I just don't... didn't feel like that was me.

Um, as soon as she was born, midwife said,

"For the first three days it's the best for the baby.

"You can't buy it, money can't buy it. It's like..."

-What do they call it?

-Colostrum.

-That's it!

"Colostrum's the absolutely best for the child

"and it's, like, three days' worth, that's all you've got to do."

So I thought, "Oh, sod it.

-"It's three days, it's nothing."

-Yeah.

So, did it and she latched on great

and she would eat

and I would just not look... so that I wouldn't...

-Feel weird.

-..feel... I don't know.

I just didn't want to see what she was doing.

But this was, like, the first time or the second time.

After that I was just, oh, stop being such a pathetic person, you know.

Get over yourself.

She's a baby, she needs to be fed and this is her food.

How is your relationship with your boobies changed

now their function has changed?

When the baby comes, they're on loan,

we'll deal with it and when baby's old enough,

I'll have them back,

and then I'll go and get them sorted out!

'I open up to Tijen about my own anguish and the guilt I still feel.'

I suppose it's one of those things I can't change and I tried my hardest.

But you obviously love your daughter, I can tell,

and I love my daughter passionately,

and to think I've jeopardised my relationship with her

because I didn't breastfeed...

-That's rubbish.

-Do you think?

-Absolutely garbage. That's just...

-Really?

-You need a smack.

What a stupid thing to say.

You love your child any less

because you didn't give them your breast or you did.

That's just rubbish.

That doesn't mean you love your child any less or any more.

No way, and no-one has the right to judge. Who are they to judge you?

Meeting Tijen has helped reassure me about my bond with Coco

and that I'm not a failure.

I gave breastfeeding my best shot and tried as long as I could.

Going back to work and breastfeeding worked out well for Tijen

as she has the flexibility of her own business.

Government initiatives now aim to increase private expressing rooms in the workplace.

But what's the reality actually like?

In Paignton, I've come to meet Caroline, who's about to return to work

after giving birth to Freddie five months ago.

-Hello. Come on in.

-Hi. Nice to meet you.

What is the main reason you're going back to work?

Money!

Yes. I wouldn't be going back

if I didn't have to, as much as I love my job!

How have work been about you going back to work and wanting to express?

My boss is really supportive.

He's arranged for a little room for me in the office,

which we can lock and put a blind on

and then I can go and express in there.

Were you nervous about asking work

that you wanted to keep on producing milk?

I'm nervous about feeling embarrassed, to be perfectly honest,

because I'm there in a working environment,

I'm planning to go to work in suits

so that I feel switched off from being a mum, that's my work mode.

But I have colleagues and I'll know they're right in the room next door.

It's time for bed for all of us.

I'm going to come back at the crack of dawn

for Caroline's first morning as a working mum.

-Good morning. How are you?

-Tired.

Oh, it's so sore. It's just really, really hard.

Caroline needs to express milk for Freddie before work,

but expressing on demand is not a quick fix.

So, how much did you get?

-I got...nearly three ounces.

-How long did it take you?

Oh, what was that? Half an hour? Yeah.

Rubbish!

Before we leave, I grab a few ounces of Caroline's reserved breast milk.

-Oh, my...

-In date order!

-..God, there's loads!

-I love that you've got it with the prawns.

-Yeah! Yeah...

Look at that!

That was a good day. Was that a ten...? A nine.

-We have some tens.

-That's nine...

You're good at this.

But while you're there,

could you grab two of the pouches on the left, the earliest ones,

because we'll take those to nursery.

And we're off to the nursery for Freddie's first day.

Hello. I've got Freddie for the nursery.

Time to de-robe the little man and a quick goodbye.

Bye-bye, lovely. I'll see you later.

Ta-ta.

Stop here. How you feeling?

Horrible. He's going to have a really good time.

He's going to love it. He'll be great, he's going to love it.

What you feeling right now?

It's like someone's ripped my heart out.

That's it now. I'm a part-time mum now.

-I'm not going to be with him all day, every day now.

-Come here.

Oh, I think you're amazing.

I leave Caroline to begin her routine at work as a breastfeeder.

I really hope she can make a go of it.

Statistically, just 3% of UK women exclusively breastfeed their babies at five months.

You have to be incredibly committed to breastfeeding,

to keep going whilst working.

I can totally understand why a lot of women when they start work decide to formula-feed.

The Government promote breastfeeding,

but in actual day-to-day practice, it's not easy to do.

Teenager Jessica, who I met earlier in my journey, has given birth to a tiny four-pound-six baby girl.

I return to Ashton to catch up with her.

Adamant she was going to formula-feed, Jessica has stuck to her guns.

-Hiya. Come in.

-How are you?

-Fine, thanks.

I want to know why she's still against the idea of breastfeeding.

Hearing horror stories hasn't helped.

I don't like the fact that you have to get your boob out.

I don't like the fact that the baby is sucking on your nipple

and your nipples go all crispy and start bleeding and get all cracked.

Did anyone help you or talk to you about how to bottle-feed?

We did a parenting group,

but it was just one of them like everyone was talking over each other

and no-one could get a word in edgeways

and no-one was really listening.

-Have any of your friends decided to breastfeed?

-No.

Why do you think most teenage girls choose not to breastfeed?

It's not normal when you're a teenager to breastfeed.

You just see teenage mums bottle-feeding,

so I think some of it's just, like, what you see, you do.

With older women, like, I see older women breastfeeding,

so older women, to me, breastfeed and teenagers don't.

Teenagers bottle-feed.

# Everybody look at me, me... #

It's not just teenagers that avoid breastfeeding becuase they see their boobs as sexual.

They also include glamour models such as Jordan and Nicola McLean

For many teens, glamour girls are their new role models,

so I'm not surprised their actins may have knock-on effects.

If we're more familiar with breastfeeding,

if you saw celebrities doing it and saw it on telly,

do you think that would make it more appealing?

I think it would.

Cos, like, you see Rihanna with red hair, and my hair's red.

Like, cos celebrities do it, you do it.

It's one of them things.

Do you feel guilt ever?

Yeah.

And what do you feel guilty about?

Because it is better for her and cos she's so small,

it probably would be better for her,

but...I just couldn't do it.

It's surprising

that the most confident formula-feeder like Jessica

can still share the demons of guilt I experienced.

If teens are going to start breastfeeding, it's going to have to become cool.

You'd think that the benefit of breastfeeding -

helping you shed weight much quicker -

would be a big draw to body-conscious teens.

For 19-year-old Emma,

it's been six weeks since Olivia arrived into the world.

They've finally got the latch right and turned a corner.

I've seen all the breastfeeding counsellors

and been to lots of the groups and the best advice

I can give anyone is go to the groups,

they really, really do help.

The more you go, the more you'll learn and the better it'll be.

I'm delighted that Emma's conquering her breastfeeding problems.

I catch up with her in a busy restaurant,

but it seems there are other challenges she has to face when feeding Olivia.

Hi, guys! Hi. How are you?

Hiya! How are you guys doing?

-Is she OK?

-Yeah. She's just hungry.

So, it's toilet time now.

BABY CRIES

Yeah, it's not great.

So, you sit in here for 40 minutes?

If that's how long she wants to feed, then, yeah.

Do people not knock on the door?

Sometimes, and I just say, sorry, I'll be out in a minute.

But you won't be out in a minute, you'll be out in 40 minutes.

-I hope that they give up.

-Oh, my God! That must be so stressful!

This is frustrating, but I can't imagine how frustrating it would be

if I had to make up a formula bottle

and they said they couldn't heat one up, or I didn't have formula on me

or I'd forgotten to take a bottle.

That, to me, is way worse than having to come and sit in the toilet.

I want to explore Emma's nervousness about breastfeeding in public.

What do you know about whether you're actually legally allowed to do it?

Absolutely nothing.

I know if I was walking around completely topless in the street

I'd probably get arrested for it, so I don't know.

I don't see how it's...

I see how it's different, but as far as in the eyes of the law,

I don't see how that's different if I get my boob out.

Like many women, Emma didn't have a clue that the Equality Act of 2010

prevents any discrimination against women who are breastfeeding in public.

Part of Emma's fears are that people will stare, especially men.

But what's the issue for guys?

I've come to an Essex football club to meet a team of burly blokes.

What are boobs for?

LAUGHTER

-For girls to get boyfriends.

-For girls to get boyfriends.

To play with.

Breastfeeding.

Has anyone here had any experience of breastfeeding?

THEY LAUGH

You think it's going to be easy,

the baby's going to latch on and that's it,

but some woman can do it, some can't.

The first couple of times we saw the midwives, they were like,

you should try it, here's a pamphlet on it.

My missus was like, I don't want to do it, and they were trying to push her,

When we went to the midwife last time

we said, yeah, we're going to breastfeed, to shut them up.

We couldn't be bothered to go through the aggro of having an argument with them.

She doesn't want to do it, but they do push you.

Anyone think it's not right to breastfeed in public?

LAUGHTER

Why's that? Why's that?

It's disgusting.

-If the baby's hungry, the baby's got to eat.

-Definitely.

-Like me.

-Like him.

LAUGHTER

Is it difficult if a woman breastfeeds for a long time and they're off-limits?

I've got a five-month-old and the first couple of weeks when it's still producing, I'm like, please!

I've been around friends who have had their babies

and we've all been sitting and chatting

and his missus has been breastfeeding their son

and I've not realised for the first five, ten minutes.

It seems to me that boys don't mind either way what the girl decides.

They're really supportive.

If a girl wants to bottle or breastfeed,

they just want what's right for the baby and for the girl.

Back in Brighton, I've returned to see earth mother Maya,

who's taken her love for breastfeeding to a whole new level.

Her and daughter Yara belong to a network of breastfeeding activists,

AKA the lactivists, and today I'm going to meet them.

-What are your feelings on breastfeeding?

-It's what boobs are for.

-Yeah.

And the idea of this tiny child

that's just been in your body, then putting a plastic teat in their mouth with cow's milk in,

it's quite odd.

I'm kind of lumped as now someone who's breastfeeding long-term,

-whereas... Sorry.

-She asked for it, didn't she?

Um...

For me, it was never about fitting into that group,

it was just about doing what's best for her and then fitting my stuff around it.

So, that's how I see it.

Giving to your child the breast milk of another mammal

that is designed to feed another mammal,

why do that when you've got milk that's perfectly designed for them?

These guys don't just bang on about breastfeeding, they actually do something about promoting it.

Come rain or shine, they take to the streets in a crusade

to urge coffee shops to display "breastfeeding welcome" stickers in their windows

to try and normalise breastfeeding in public.

If there was a scheme where you could put a sticker in the window saying,

"we're happy to have women breastfeed in our establishment", would you partake in that?

-I'm pretty sure that we'd happily fly the flag.

-Cool. All right.

Although their passion can come across as quite extreme,

I wish my own breastfeeding experience could have been more like theirs.

I hope their campaign enables more women to feel comfortable about breastfeeding in public.

Maya's still got an abundance of breast milk, and rather than letting Warwick drink all the spares,

she's making plans for it.

What do you do if you have too much?

Personally, I'm thinking about donating some milk to a milk bank

because I can pump it off and give it to them and not have to deal with it!

What is a milk bank?

Some hospitals, I don't think all hospitals, have milk banks

where women can donate milk,

and I believe they use it for intensive care babies

because some babies can't tolerate formula when they're severely premature.

I'd never heard of milk banks

and with an invite from an intensive care baby unit,

I'm off to find out a little bit more.

-Hi.

-Hello.

-I'm Cherry.

-I'm Audrey. I'm the matron for the neonatal unit.

-Nice to meet you.

-And you.

-Would you like to come through?

-That would be amazing.

Because the babies are born prematurely,

they're not able to suck until they're at least 34 weeks of gestation.

So, what we do is we tube feed them and we use breast milk wherever possible.

Due to the stress of being born early,

often mum's aren't producing enough milk,

so therefore we rely on donor breast milk.

How many mums donate milk? Do you have enough?

Sometimes we have lots of donors and we get a big storage of milk,

and other times, we've used a lot and we run out.

What happens when you run out?

You can buy it from milk banks, if you need to, at a quite large amount of money.

It's a very valuable resource.

If I wanted to buy a bottle of breast milk, how much would I have to pay?

Well, I think we were being charged about £100 a litre.

-CHERRY GASPS

-Yeah. It's like gold dust.

-100...?! It is, it's like gold!

-Yeah.

-£100 a litre?!

-Yes.

So, it's pretty bloody valuable.

It is valuable, definitely, and certainly to the babies.

So why, when they come out so prematurely, do they need breast milk?

The sooner you can get the gut working, the better,

so to do that, we stimulate it with a little bit of breast milk

because we find that's more easily tolerated by an immature gut than formula milk.

Oh, wow!

Look at that. Oh, it's lunchtime!

So the feeding process, it seems to be one of the most important aspects of a baby's recovery.

It is a very important part of the recovery, and we have to get it right.

It's amazing to see these midwives with these little syringes of breast milk

delicately and carefully feeding it to these tiny, fragile babies.

It does make you view breast milk in a different way.

They treat it like this very, very precious medicine.

It's not just like some white stuff that leaks and is really annoying,

which is how I viewed it before.

It was just annoying and making my top wet.

Get a pad, quick. Throw the pad in the bin.

I just can't believe I did that.

I'm starting to understand the importance of breast milk now

and why it is so precious.

But when IS the right time to stop giving your baby this precious food?

I'm off to meet one woman whose situation is thought of as controversial.

I'll give you a little clue - how long is too long?

Why is breastfeeding a child that's older than two so weird?

I mean, I think about it and I think...whhhh!

I do think it's really weird.

I think the time to stop breastfeeding is when there's a full set of teeth.

I think if your child can eat a ham sandwich,

that's time to put the booby away.

In Southampton, I'm going to meet Carol, who's still breastfeeding her two boys -

three-year-old Matthew and five-and-a-half-year-old Joel.

-Hello.

-Hiya.

-Hi. I'm Cherry.

-I'm Carol. This is Matthew.

-Hello. Nice to meet you.

-Come on in.

-I'll stick the kettle on.

-That'll be lovely.

'And it seems Joel is full of beans.'

-Booby, booby!

-And he knows what you're talking about and filming about.

-Yeah.

Let me sit on the chair at least.

Shh. Gently.

Be careful, won't you? Gentle, then you have to swap.

Ready? And you ping off when I ask you, OK?

Ping off when I ask you.

Will that calm you down a minute?

-In a minute.

-OK.

-Calm you down a bit?

Yep. This is what they do. Right. Come here, then.

Ping. Ping on.

Keep that snuggled up, OK?

Snuggly.

I was a bit nervous about seeing you breastfeed.

-I thought I won't know where to look.

-Yeah.

-I was shocked the first time I saw somebody feeding an older child.

-Were you?

-Yeah.

-What did you think? Did you judge it?

I... I had to sort of stop and think why was I reacting?

-It was kind of almost my problem.

-That's so interesting.

I had to stop and think, "OK, no, actually, that's fine and then carry on."

I think the judgement over it is quite interesting. It says a lot about our culture.

Yes, definitely.

There's still this whole sexualised image of the whole thing.

As much as I do enjoy breastfeeding, that's got nothing to do with it.

Would you say breastfeeding's been quite an empowering experience for you?

The whole being a mum, giving birth, carrying a child, nurturing a child,

feeding, caring for,

it's been very...affirming, I guess, is the word.

I'm no longer floundering and looking for something I'm supposed to be good at.

A big part of it's the message that I've had a lot over the last few years

has been, you know what, it's OK to be yourself.

And it's OK to be me!

I was really surprised to discover that various experts claim

that the average age of weaning worldwide is as old as four!

I definitely, definitely prejudged Carol before I met her. Definitely.

I thought it was really weird, but like everything,

there's always something more to it than meets the eye,

and I think that Carol is a woman who adores motherhood

and it is her purpose in life right now

and feeding her babies

is one of the most important aspects of that for her,

and who am I to judge whether that's right or wrong?

There's still someone I want to meet.

Unlike me, Kathryn Blundell, editor of Mother & Baby magazine,

embraced formula-feeding without the trappings of guilt,

but in doing so she faced the harsh politics of breastfeeding.

"Breastfeeding - the most natural thing in the world,

"but what if, like me, you really don't fancy it?"

She's talking about the fact that she formula-fed rather than breastfed and why she did that.

And it's a really empowered article.

It seems to be saying if you've bottle-fed, it's not a problem.

Don't feel bad, don't feel guilty.

And she calls it creepy, which seems to be,

from the response to this, one of the big things people have had a problem with.

Kathryn has agreed to meet with me

to discuss that controversial article

and why she considers bottle-feeding a lifestyle choice.

Were you surprised at the response?

Yeah, I was. I wasn't expecting it to be quite so fierce,

cos the feature itself,

I had defended breastfeeding, I think breastfeeding is brilliant.

I'd been very clear that the views that I had were about me,

they weren't about anyone else.

They weren't about you, they were about me and my body.

Why was breastfeeding not for you?

Psychologically, I could not get into that space to do it

and I'm one of those people

where it just wasn't going to work for me.

I've spoken to loads of women who say that there's nothing

can give you that bond that breastfeeding gives you.

Did you ever feel any guilt about that or worry?

Bonding actually does start in the womb.

All things being equal there! Everyone's feeding their baby then!

I don't feel less bonded to my children because of not breastfeeding them.

Your child's happiness and health

depends on so many other factors than just milk.

I've come to meet Emma one last time.

There's still one hurdle she wants to overcome.

Until now, she's not managed to solve her breastfeeding-in-public problem.

Throughout this journey I've learnt that support is key

to getting confidence, and on that note, I try and give Emma a helping hand.

-So, normally you'd go into the loos and wouldn't try breastfeeding in public?

-Yeah. Not at all.

-Shall we try?

-If we must.

Shall we give it a little go?

I'll absolutely be sitting by your side,

-and if it's too much or too scary then we can go to the loo.

-OK.

-All right?

-Uh-huh.

-OK, let's just have a little try.

OK, there's a nice big space there.

-So, how you feeling right now?

-Nervous.

It's the getting her on and undoing my bra and getting her on as quickly as possible.

-Shall we go for it?

-OK.

-I'm actually really nervous now.

-I can see you're really nervous.

OK...

-Oh, my God, I'm really nervous now!

-Oh, dear!

-I don't know how long this is going to take.

-You take your time.

I'm just trying to ignore everyone now.

Just ignore it. You're doing brilliantly.

Do you think you should be able to feed somewhere this public?

Yeah, definitely.

But it's one of those things

that there aren't enough women breastfeeding in public

for it to be the norm.

If there was another woman on this bench, or even I'd seen another woman in here feeding,

it would be more like, OK, this is normal,

there's another woman who thinks this is fine, so I can do it.

Oh, no. Let go.

Now that you've done that,

do you feel more confident breastfeeding in public?

Or do you think it would take quite a few more times to make it feel comfortable?

This public, a few more times, but I think in my head, before I fed,

I thought a lot more people were going to look, and they really weren't.

Well, I think you've done brilliantly today. Well done.

-All right. Bye, you two. See you really soon. Bye!

-Bye!

'I thought Emma did so brilliantly today,'

and it was a lot more nerve-racking than I thought it was going to be.

I thought I was going to be there just supporting her, but I really felt her nerves.

Solving the UK's low breastfeeding rate is a monumental challenge

and one that isn't going to be deciphered easily.

But I, for one, have finally managed to lay my breastfeeding demons to rest

and am confident about my bond with Coco.

When I first started this journey out, I felt really guilty about the choice I'd made

to give up breastfeeding.

If you're experiencing incredible pain,

it's not OK to go through that.

It's not something you should just swallow and suck up.

I wish I'd asked for help. I wish, I wish, I wish

I'd gone and asked for help and not just suffered in silence.

Every one of the women I've met on my journey has taught me something.

For teenagers like Jessica, unless breastfeeding starts to look cool in the mass media,

they will stay well clear.

Maya's shown me how precious breast milk actually is.

For second-time mums like Lucy,

you can never predict how smooth your breastfeeding ride is going to be.

And as for those suffering like Emma?

She's shown me that with the help of support groups,

it's possible to overcome the hurdles that breastfeeding can present.

I've realised that breastfeeding is a lot tougher for many women than anyone would like us to admit.

Some will struggle and others will find it the most natural thing in the world,

but if we all try and give it a go,

we can ensure that our babies get the best nutrition at the start of their lives.

One thing's for sure - if it doesn't work out for you then don't beat yourself up.

# The dog days are over

# The dog days are done

# The horses are coming

# So you better run

# Run fast for your mother Run fast for your father

# Run for your children For your sisters and brothers

# Leave all your love and your loving behind

# You can't carry it with you if you want to survive... #