Love on the Transplant List

'Oh, my God, I love it!'

I feel proper bridey now.

I'm getting married in three and a bit weeks' time.

I think I've planned everything to a tee.

Perfect.

21-year-old bride-to-be Kirstie was born with cystic fibrosis,

a genetic disease that is slowly destroying her lungs.

Do I still look pretty with the oxygen?

This would have been the best time of my life.

I've got my fiance, we're getting married,

we've got a dog, we've got a house -

really this is the best time of my life,

but one thing has changed it to be the worst time.

I still enjoy it, I still love my life and I wouldn't change it.

I would just love to have some working lungs.

She needs a lifesaving transplant.

Without one, doctors have given her six months to live.

I am desperate for a transplant.

You know, if I carry on this rate of decline

and if things don't change, then I won't be here.

COUGHING

Two months ago, Kirstie was placed on the lung transplant waiting list

after her health dramatically deteriorated.

Her medical team decided that this would be the only way to prolong her life.

I'm all right, just had a little vein pop in my lung.

I can taste the blood - lovely!

Her lungs are so full of infections that all Kirstie can do now

is wait for that call to come.

You've got a 50% chance of never getting a call.

So, there is a 50% chance that I will die on the waiting list.

The average waiting time is a year to 18 months.

So if you think I've already been given six months, that's a long time,

you know, 12 months to 18 months.

So I'm hoping it's not going to be that long, obviously!

Kirstie lives in Devon with her fiance, Stuart, and their dog, Kia.

Good girl, Kia.

She's a fighter, complete fighter.

Can't put her down.

You tell her she can't have something,

she'll do what she can to make sure she can prove you wrong.

She will find a way to make sure she does,

and when she does have it she'll let you know about it and make a fool of you.

But she likes that, she enjoys it, that's who she is.

-You make me sound like a right bitch!

-You're not a bitch.

But you're a fighter, you're a fighter at everything you do, aren't you?

Everything in your life is a fight.

Not had an easy ride, and you fight the whole way there.

See, once I get my transplant, I'm going to have to try and keep up with him.

Kia!

Hey!

Good girl!

The couple met in Exeter almost two years ago,

long before Kirstie had thought seriously about needing a transplant.

What did you think when you saw me?

"There you go, there's a pisshead."

-I was drunk, wasn't I?

-Yeah.

-You were a fun-loving person, weren't you?

-Yeah.

-Up for a laugh.

-WHISPERS:

-Got around a bit.

-What?!

-That night - how many people that night?

Don't, don't put that on camera.

Don't say that.

-I did not! You can't say that on camera, my nan's going to watch this.

-Oh!

MUSIC: "I Like The Colour Of Your Hair" by Eels

Even though Kirstie has always been ill,

until recently she led a very active life.

And when she and Stu first met, things were very different from today.

# I like the colour of your hair

# I think we make a handsome pair

# I can only see my love growing

# I like the way this is going... #

Kirstie qualified as a pole dance instructor when she was 19,

and, until a couple of months ago, she ran daily classes for people wanting to keep fit.

Bring that to the back, lower the arms,

squeeze with the legs, and come to this position.

Yeah!

But strength and agility have gone.

Now during the day Kirstie must take a tank of oxygen with her wherever she goes.

And at night she's connected to a special ventilator called a BiPAP.

'I need a BiPAP at night,'

which is a machine that you put on, it's a mask.

It's just there.

It's very sexy.

And that basically has an airtight fitting,

and it forces air into my lungs.

She also has to take high doses of pain medications around the clock,

and IV antibiotics that are fed directly into her bloodstream.

That's the IVs - apart from that, obviously, that's a lollipop stick.

Yeah, and they just come in these packs here,

and then I attach it to my portacath.

And then it slowly goes in, like over about an hour.

SHE COUGHS

Kirstie is one of around 9,000 people in the UK with cystic fibrosis.

But no two are the same - some experience milder symptoms of the disease,

while others can deteriorate rapidly.

So far, there is no cure,

and the average life expectancy is around the mid-30s.

CF has meant Kirstie's whole life has been plagued

with painful coughing, a constant stream of medicines,

and battling to breathe.

DOG BARKING

In one way, I love CF for who it's made me,

but obviously I'd quite easily trade it in!

It's an unwanted friend that you'd easily hand in at a heartbeat.

Apparently they don't do like a rollercoaster one.

Kirstie has always been open about her condition,

and was upfront about it with Stu right from day one.

She told me what illness she had,

so I looked it up to see what cystic fibrosis was.

Even after I read all that, I thought I'd still ask her out on a date.

But you didn't think it'd be like this, not then.

No, but nor did you.

Well, I did, because I knew what happens.

No, but you didn't expect the decline to be so quick.

No, I didn't expect to be on the transplant list at 21.

-No, you didn't expect to be here at 21, did you?

-No.

Stuart and Kirstie's immediate focus is their upcoming wedding,

and as the transplant call may come at any time,

they've had to make some special arrangements.

The venue we chose, they said if I had to reschedule it at any point,

they would be happy to, right up until the day.

And things like the flowers - they're fake, so they won't waste.

And the cake is fruit, which keeps for ages.

And pretty much everything else -

apart from, probably, the suits we'd probably lose a bit of money on -

pretty much can wait.

Including the guests!

We'll just shove them in a cupboard for a while.

The number of people signed up as potential donors in the UK

is not enough for all those who need them.

So Kirstie and Stuart face the very real possibility

that she might die before the transplant call ever comes.

It's something we might have to deal with,

but I believe in that positive thinking, and I know it's coming.

I know, I know you want to be positive,

and I'm positive, you know I'm positive,

but there is that real...

-I'm more realistic than I am pessimistic or optimistic.

-Yeah.

-But that's just different ways.

-Whereas you're just an optimist.

Yeah that's... I believe it will come.

I just can't see you being beaten.

Kirstie has now been waiting for her transplant

for over two and a half months.

She's had a difficult morning,

but Kirstie and Stu have a busy day planned.

I need the oxygen, extra oxygen tank as well.

That's a cylinder - this can leak, that doesn't.

Just in case it goes wrong, we have a spare one.

With only a week till their big day,

Kirstie and Stuart are off last-minute shopping for their wedding.

'We were going to get married anyway. We're not doing it

'because I might die. We're doing it

'because we want to spend the rest of our lives together.'

SHE COUGHS

Even underwear can restrict Kirstie's breathing.

Ah.

I don't know why I put a bra on today.

It was a stupid idea.

I am really out of breath today, and my lungs do feel quite bad,

but it's just pushing through that, really.

And there's plenty of time to rest.

Attach it to one of the things.

'Everybody's rude.'

People just like kind of step over you, arse in face.

They don't really care, they're just like completely unaware.

But we've got a technique now with the bits of metal at the front.

They really hurt people's ankles, so accidents do happen, unfortunately.

I do say sorry. No, I do, but I don't mean it.

But if they're rude, then I'll keep going through.

If Kirstie wants to look in a shop, it's handy to have a wheelchair.

I can go to where I need to go.

Because she can just stare at items for ten minutes

deciding if she likes them or not, so there's benefits, there's benefits.

-Basically, he's saying he can dump me anywhere.

-Really I can do what I want.

-It's fun, isn't it?

-HE CHUCKLES

First up, a pair of smart shoes for Stu.

Stop. They are lush.

They're really nice, don't you think?

-Cos these are like a bit duller...

-I like the duller.

-..these have got a nice shine. What?

-I'm not a shiny shoe kind of guy.

But it's a wedding, you've got to have nice shiny shoes.

-They'll go with other things.

-These have purple laces.

Stuart, don't wind me up.

Them ones are nice as well.

-OK, we'll try these on.

-Do you want to try them ones?

-No.

-Try on the other pair as well.

-Don't want to.

-You're just agreeing with me?

-Yeah, shut you up.

-Come on. Hi, can we?

-All right, yeah.

Thank you, mate.

I really want to see them with a trouser leg.

-I've got shorts.

-I think you should run down there and get a pair of trousers.

Not the golf trousers, not down that way.

-It's pretty much the similar colour, isn't it?

-I suppose.

Yeah, you'll have to put them on.

-No I'm not putting them on.

-No, come on.

Dressing room there, you go put them on, and then come back out.

-What's wrong with this?

-No, no, no, I want to see them on, please.

I love you.

I'm so deflated your tyres and taking you back in a minute.

If he puts a pair of naff shoes on for the wedding,

everyone's going to look and go, "They're naff shoes, mate, they're cheap."

Right, OK, just untuck that bit.

Stand properly.

I don't know, you have to decide.

Your bum looks good in those.

-Till.

-We're not going to the till yet. We might as well look at my bits.

Or do you want to pay then I'll look at my bits?

Yeah, before you make me pay for everything else.

Thank you.

Excuse me, can we squeeze past, please?

-Excuse me.

-Excuse me, please.

-Sorry.

-Thank you.

-Want to get out?

-Yeah, I do, I need some air.

-Want some food?

-Yeah.

I really like that dress over there.

I'm, like, seriously contemplating a cocktail.

-Can I just have an orange juice?

-Orange juice, sure.

-Is that all you want?

-I'm driving.

I'll go for the Martini.

I never do, so why not?

Your Martini.

Thank you.

Oh, that's so good.

Mmm.

Oh, yes, a warm feeling up my back now.

Hello, alcohol.

Lucky you've got a wheelchair, because you couldn't walk after that.

At two o'clock, Kirstie has her second IV of the day.

But she isn't going to let her medical routine spoil her lunch with Stu.

We'll just be as discreet as possible.

Whilst drinking a margarita!

Can be doing anything up to like six IVs a day.

Like, hours long each, so it can be a bit intense, but it's so easy now.

It's just like, just attach and go, so it doesn't restrict me too much.

Which one am I attached to? You don't even know.

But it can be a bit frustrating, like,

because obviously you've got to remember to take the stuff with you.

A few hours spent buying shoes and having a quick look around the shops has come at a price.

Kirstie's lungs are now causing her a lot of pain.

With it getting harder to breathe, she needs to use the BiPAP mask.

This forces oxygen into her lungs, allowing her exhausted body to rest.

The lungs get tired, so consequently,

everything else becomes tired, and Kirstie needs to rest.

Thanks a lot.

When we first got together, we'd just go down to the pub.

Go out, have fun and do all sorts of things.

Now we still have fun and we still have a laugh and a joke,

but we're very inside people because, like you've seen,

it is so much to get out and around and to plan ahead

and if Kirstie's got a good day, Kirstie's got a bad day.

She gets so tired.

I can only imagine it's like suffocating, drowning - I don't know.

Just looks unpleasant and painful.

Wouldn't want strangers to go through the pain like that.

You wouldn't want anybody, let alone the one you love

just lie there in pain, having to use a machine to help her breathe.

It's horrible, I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

And if I could take it, even if it was just for one day

just so she could have a day off, if that's all I could do, I'd do it.

But I can't.

Throughout her life, Kirstie has had good days and bad days.

MUSIC: "Blinking Lights (For Me)" By Eels

# Blinking lights on the airplane wings

# Specially for me

# Ain't no rainbow in the sky

# In the middle of the night... #

She has to have regular checkups at Royal Devon and Exeter Hospital.

When here she's under the care of Dr Nick Withers,

who has known Kirstie since she was a teenager.

Everything Kirstie does at the level that you and I would be running up the stairs.

That's why she looks so exhausted all the time.

And that's just sitting down.

And trying to walk is like sprinting or running a marathon for her.

Her lung function is about 16% compared to what a normal,

healthy person of the same age and height would be.

And, as a measure of how seriously unwell Kirstie is,

we normally think about referring people for transplantation

when their lung function gets down to about 33 or 30%,

so she's well below that level now.

If she doesn't get a transplant within a reasonable timeframe

then I'm afraid there's nothing else that we'll be able to do to help her.

It's going to work fine.

It's all going to work fine.

Kirstie, her mum, Lynne, and sister Kerry have an appointment at the local beauty salon

in preparation for the big day.

Somebody's getting married in six days!

This morning, woke up with a huge temperature.

And, yeah, racing heart rate, and wasn't very well.

But I've had loads of meds and we're fine now, so...

She needs at least two or three days good rest.

Nothing in between.

She really needs a good run up for the wedding.

I've told everybody, Wednesday in the evening, it's early night.

You know, she's not up at the bar drinking all night, that's for sure.

Do you want my hands?

Lovely, thank you.

We're dancing to Michael Buble, "Hold On" -

literally, because I'll be holding on!

We're going to just kind of like move around a little bit,

but not really do a lot.

And then we do that for, like, 30 seconds and then want people

to start coming in and then I can make my way off the dance floor!

It's quite annoying because, obviously, I used to be a dancer,

so not being able to do a proper dance for our first dance is really annoying.

I'm taking my liquid oxygen when I go down the aisle.

But it's going to be like a different holdall thing

because Stuart's mum's making like an ivory one for it.

Just so it doesn't look so ugly.

That looks hilarious.

So, the same kind as your sister, just at the top and squared?

Yeah.

-Are you all right?

-Yeah.

-I thought you jumped then!

-No.

My painkillers are wearing off now so my chest is getting a bit sore.

As always Kirstie pushes herself to carry on despite being so ill,

especially as tonight is another important step towards marriage.

It's my hen do tonight.

Just a few drinks and be a good laugh.

I know they haven't got a stripper.

I hope they haven't got a stripper,

because I'm just not really into that, to be honest.

But I don't think Mum would want a greasy man all over her furniture

so I don't think there's a stripper.

Nah.

No.

Uh-uh.

GUESTS TALKING

STRAINED COUGHING

Kirstie's still feeling very unwell,

but she wants to make sure everyone has a great night.

LAUGHTER

Somewhere in there is a piece of paper.

-You have to get them right, all of them.

-Where was your first kiss?

On our first date, in his car.

-Oh, classy!

-Yeah, he agreed with that.

Aww, that's sweet.

And, to be fair, we nearly didn't kiss

because he was too much of a wuss.

He was! He was.

Where was your first sexual encounter together?

Are you listening, Julie?!

Where was their first sexual encounter!

In his bedroom at his mum's.

EXCITED LAUGHTER

He went, "I'm not answering that, you'll have to get Kirstie to!"

Did he not answer it?

He is old enough.

Ann, a close friend of the family, has known Kirstie since the day she was born.

MUSIC: "I Want To Make Love To You" by Etta James

What's that?

And she's arranged a special surprise for the hen.

Did you sort this out?

# I don't want you

# To work all day

# But I want you

# To be true

# And I just want to make love to you

# I don't want you

# Sad and blue

No!

SCREAMING

# Love to you

# Ooh, ooh... #

That was funny.

Where is Ann?!

I'm so glad you were the one that was put on the floor.

You loved it.

THEY SING: "Here Comes The Bride"

It's been a busy few days for Kirstie,

and she's forced to spend the weekend resting at home.

However, her condition suddenly turns critical, and she's taken

to Royal Devon and Exeter Hospital for emergency treatment.

Her lips went blue, her ears went blue,

her face started to go grey.

Called an ambulance.

You don't know what to think, but when she can't breathe

-you think, "Oh,

-BLEEP."

It's the first time it's been this bad since she's been with me.

I know she's been rushed to hospital before with other problems,

but not being able to breathe and going blue,

to the best of my knowledge, has never happened before.

So, I think that was just a shock to everybody and...

Just a massive shock.

Especially with the wedding on Thursday, as well.

It happened on the Monday.

Kirstie is renowned for her timing, shall we say.

She always times things to the best possible place.

But it's not her fault.

Kirstie's seriously unwell with her chronic lung disease, her cystic fibrosis

and she really is living life on a knife edge at the moment,

and any small thing can tip her over.

There is a risk that she could die of her lung disease at any stage

and that could happen before her wedding.

We obviously need to discuss with Kirstie and Stuart, her fiance,

and her mother, this afternoon whether we need to put other plans in place.

That might include arranging for her to be married in hospital.

The life threatening infections in Kirstie's lungs are making her weak

and the doctors want to keep her in for a seven-day course of medication.

But with the wedding only a few days away, there isn't enough time.

And, despite the risks, Kirstie is still determined to go ahead as planned.

It's what she's been looking forward to all year,

since she got the ring, no doubt.

And that's what she wants.

Just kind of a waiting game until her lungs will work

to a degree where she can cope without the machine.

So, until then it's as much rest and any help we can get

to get her there for Thursday is the game plan now.

She just needs to lie back and whatever we've not done we've not done, it's tough.

Just getting her to the wedding is now the important part for us.

HER VOICE IS MUFFLED THE MASK

Sorry?

You're hungry - you want me to get you some food?

What do you want?

Think I'll have soup.

What soup do you want?

We can't really be fussy.

Shall I get whatever they've got?

And if you don't like it I'll go down the shop and get you tomato soup.

Anything else? Drink? Coke? Sprite?

Sprite or Coke?

-Sprite.

-Sprite today.

And a soup.

What do you want for dessert?

Chocolate soup? Chocolate?

-I want a roll as well.

-Yeah, I'll get you a roll with your seeds,

cos you like chewing the seeds.

Dr Withers and the team have done everything they can.

Now they must wait and see how Kirstie responds to the treatment.

No-one knows if she'll be well enough to get married on Thursday.

It's the day of the wedding, and Kirstie arrives straight from hospital.

She's still very weak, but nothing will prevent her

from marrying Stu in front of all their family and friends.

She's got more backbone than anybody I know.

21 years of age, been through so much...

and so strong.

We're the bloody weaklings, aren't we?

We're the weak ones.

Bless her.

-What's the time, Mum?

-Um, it's ticking.

Yeah, it was a little bit scary.

And, um, a bit full on.

My team have set up loads of things just to get me here today

and I knew they'd make sure it happened.

I think it'll be fine, so it's all good.

The adrenaline's kicked in now, so it's fine.

Two of Kirstie's specialist CF nurses and her physiotherapist

have come to the wedding to keep an eye on her condition.

She's come here with the knowledge that today could have been too much for her,

and we may have been dealing with...

not a very nice event at her wedding.

We've come with the drugs prepared to help her through

any symptoms she might have had, and thankfully she's nice and calm.

And we obviously discussed that with her, with Stuart, with Lynne...

And both her consultants.

..just so we all knew what's the best thing for her

if she did suddenly collapse or become unwell.

Hello.

What you smiling about so much?

I've just had a little sneaky strip-a-gram.

Stuart's in there in his cerise pink boxers!

THEY LAUGH

-You always get it, don't you?

-I know!

Right, I've got to go and see Kirstie.

Yeah, that looks really nice.

Really pretty.

Yes, really does look pretty.

Know for a fact that she was always going to make it.

I know her heart, and I know her head.

She has drive and determination like nobody else in the world.

And you can't question that.

And it's why I'm marrying her.

Simple.

MUSIC: "Rule The World" by Take That

# You light the skies up above me

# A star so bright

# You blind me, yeah

# Don't close your eyes

# Don't fade away

# Don't fade away, oh

# Yeah, you and me we can ride on a star

# If you stay with me, girl

# We can rule the world

# Yeah, you and me we can light up the sky

# If you stay by my side

# We can rule the world... #

-Hi.

-Hi.

-You blubbing already?

-Always.

So, Stuart and Kirstie, it is my duty to remind you

of the solemn and binding character of the vows you are about to make.

I call upon these persons here present

to witness that I Stuart Karl Tancock...

-To witness that I, Kirstie Mills...

-..take thee, Kirstie Mills...

...do take thee, Stuart Karl Tancock...

..to be lawful wedded wife.

..to be my lawful wedded husband.

I promise to give you my love and friendship,

-be there for you when you need me the most...

-..to trust you, comfort you,

all that I have I share with you.

..to support you, to laugh with you, and to confide in you.

-I promise to respect you...

-..and be faithful to you, always.

These promises I make for the rest of my life.

You are husband and wife.

Congratulations.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# Oh, I'll be there for you... #

Mr and Mrs Tancock!

APPLAUSE

You all here today, thank you so, so much for that.

To spend our day with us it means so, so much to us.

Especially after, well, as most of you know,

this week has not been the easiest.

But I'm not going to go into that because it's not about that today, it's about us,

and I'm sure she doesn't want to go into that today...

Yeah? Or do you?

LAUGHTER

I think everybody in here will admit Kirstie looks beautiful.

No questions asked.

APPLAUSE

I'd give an arm and leg for you.

Anything I could...

APPLAUSE

-Oh,

-BLEEP

-me.

God, this week's killed me.

LAUGHTER

So the bride and groom can concentrate on enjoying their day,

the nurses take charge of Kirstie's medical needs.

Sarah and Liz have known Kirstie since she was a child,

and they've become firm friends over the years.

Kirstie kind of floundered with what it was she wanted to do in life

because there were things she wanted to do that her CF

physically wouldn't let her do, simply wouldn't let her do.

She found pole dancing and thought, "I can do this," and completely flourished.

She'd found a focus, found what she was fabulous at, which was teaching.

Kirstie even persuaded Sarah and Liz to have a go at pole dancing.

She was particularly good as a teacher, very encouraging.

I thought I'd be ridiculous at it, but she was really lovely.

-She didn't make us feel stupid.

-No, she didn't.

She gave me just that little bit of confidence to say,

"I tried it, I wasn't that bad."

And she obviously gets satisfaction from that,

and not being able to do that... she took so much pride

in being able to do that, that's what's sad -

again her CF has whipped it out from under her.

As the meal ends, Kirstie goes back to her room to rest and gather strength for later

leaving the guests to carry on without her.

'I think what would be amazing is'

if she woke up tomorrow married and her call came then.

But the reality is that you don't know when her call is going to come.

It could be any length of time, and she knows that,

which is why she knew how important it was to have her day now.

She's been upstairs for about two hours resting.

The nurses have been very on me making sure that

if Kirstie gets out of breath she's got to go straight back to her room.

It's been very risky to her health, it has been.

She's on her way down the stairs now coming back out all ready again.

She is absolutely exhausted and she could do with being down here

for an hour and going back up but that's not Kirstie.

She'll be down here for as long as she can.

Kirstie does stay with the guests,

and is still going strong well into the evening.

-Well, I've definitely got the shiniest shoes today.

-They are nice shoes.

The morning after the wedding, Kirstie goes back into hospital.

After a few days' treatment the infections in her lungs

are brought back under control and she's able to return home.

Got to get the consultants here to see, but going home now.

It's been almost a week since the wedding,

and now Kirstie is out of hospital they can get on with life as a married couple.

This isn't going to work.

But I said...yeah, it should.

But did I say it wouldn't?

That's not the point.

I said it wouldn't, and it didn't.

Just give in.

Be a good husband.

That's never going to happen!

I won.

Yes, dear, you won.

Oh, thank you.

Kirstie has been on the transplant list for over three months.

Time is running out.

And her recent stay in hospital has brought this clearly into focus.

I feel like everything's just sped up on me again.

It's like we're in gear five already

and we've managed to go up a notch already.

And everything's just decreasing so quickly.

And now I'm just waiting on borrowed time if you get what I mean.

But I'm still really positive about getting a transplant.

Now the wedding's come and gone,

every phone call now we think could be the call,

so the focus is hopefully the transplant will come.

We're going away for a couple of days,

but obviously if a call comes we'll pack and go.

Maybe we should take another suitcase.

MUSIC: "Waiting for a chance to come" by Noah And The Whale

-Where is your hairdryer?

-You put it away last.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

It does feel stressful trying to leave the house,

cos I'd like to just be helping out but that's not going to happen.

Look in one of the wedding boxes.

Why is it in there?

That's why you should things back where they belong, Stuart.

Cause it's hard to feel like

# You're worth something in this life

# When you're walking next to me

# I can hear my body speak

# We're just waiting for a chance to come. #

We've got to go back to the house.

Disabled badges.

-Oh,

-BLEEP.

You have to go back.

# Sorrow found me when I was young... #

After a few days' honeymoon Kirstie becomes so desperately ill she is

no longer stable enough to wait for her transplant in Devon.

Nobody expected it to happen this quick.

Not even she did.

But, unfortunately, with this disease the effects can go

so quickly or really slowly.

I mean, the average life expectancy is 38.

Kirstie's 21.

She will not make 38 without a new set of lungs.

To be honest, I don't know if she'd make 22.

# I don't wanna get over you... #

Kirstie has to be taken now to Harefield Hospital in London,

one of only six specialist transplant units in the country.

Even though her transplant call is yet to come.

In life you don't know who you're going to fall in love with.

I fell in love with her, I accept it - it's that simple.

When I first got together, and after a couple of months it got like more serious...

and her mum like, collared me and took me to one side

and she was like, "Do you know what's going to happen, Stuart?"

And I was like, "Yeah... Really."

And we had a massive chat about things and it's like,

"Well, you know it's a short time limit you've got."

And I was like, "Yeah, yeah."

But I'd rather have something short and be as happy as I can be,

than a lifetime with someone that you just go through the motions.

I took my option...

And I don't regret it at all.

# I don't wanna get over you

# I don't wanna get over you... #

Just over 24 hours after Kirstie arrives at Harefield Hospital

there's exciting and unexpected news.

I've got to go in now.

Such good news.

Ann, can you tell us what's happening? Just very quickly.

There's lungs available and if it goes ahead at 1.30 we're going to know.

This is the happiest day ever, eh?

Fantastic.

It's over three months since Kirstie went onto the transplant waiting list.

And now there are donor lungs available.

It's the news that Kirstie and her family have been waiting for.

KIRSTIE COUGHS

Before Kirstie can have the transplant the lungs

have to be checked to make sure they're a suitable match.

If all goes well the transplant will go ahead.

Everyone is in for a long night.

HEAVY COUGHING

But in the early hours of Saturday morning there is disappointing news.

The transplant coordinator tells everyone that the lungs were too large for Kirstie's body.

So they're unable to go ahead with the operation.

As soon as she walked in the room I could see in her eyes it was a no,

and I just dropped my head and I think everybody else did exactly the same, to be honest.

Everybody, everybody was gutted.

Even the nurse on duty that night was gutted.

We were so excited for Kirstie this chance came along and this was it,

and the next minute you're back down in the bottom,

the lowest you can be again because,

well, she's still got the same crappy lungs inside her.

But they weren't meant to be.

So now just waiting for the next one.

It's not uncommon for people on the waiting list to experience a false alarm.

But it's devastated news for Stu and the family.

However the one person keeping positive is Kirstie herself.

She's still upbeat. Doesn't faze her.

I mean, the moment the woman said,

"Unfortunately, Kirstie, these were too big",

within about 15 seconds, she was like,

"OK, guys, you can go. I'm going to sleep."

And just switched off. I don't know how. I haven't a clue because I couldn't do it.

She understands that false alarms happen quite a lot, so she's all right with it all.

Despite everything Kirstie is going through

she somehow still finds the energy

to keep her friends and family updated through Facebook.

"After last night's false alarm I feel very emotionally drained.

"I think my family were in a lot of pain and seeing their faces was pretty hard.

"So I ushered them away pretty quickly.

"I said a prayer for the donor.

"Somebody's life was still saved last night so I'm grateful for that.

"I was just sad it wasn't my chance yet,

"but today I feel much better mentally and even physically a little bit."

That was her last update at 11 o'clock in the morning.

And that is Kirstie.

She'd never let you down.

But Kirstie's body does let her down and the updates stop.

Every day in the UK three people die on the transplant list

while waiting for a donor to be found.

Over the next two days Kirstie's condition gets worse.

Lynne and Stuart got calls this morning, very early, about 4am

to say Kirstie had taken a really bad turn and they were going to intubate her.

But when they got here the coordinator came in and said we think we've got lungs.

And hopefully within about another hour we should know if the condition of the lungs are good to go.

In which case, please God.

So - just waiting.

This really needs to happen today. Really, really poorly.

She was coughing up blood. So badly infected now.

By the sounds of it

there's not much breath left in her body, really.

-PHONE RINGS

-That might be Lynne.

Yes, Lynne... Hello.

Yes...

What?

No!

Oh, no.

Oh, God.

OK, love. I'm coming in. I'm coming in.

All right, love.

I'll be there in a minute.

No go. They're no good.

What did she say? >

Just they're no good.

They're obviously not healthy enough.

How did she sound?

Distraught. I need to go to her.

Sorry.

Give her our love.

Yes.

Time is running out for Kirstie.

Now more than ever she needs this transplant.

# Money came like rain to your hands

# While you were waiting

# For that cold long promise to appear... #

24 hours later Kirstie's heart and lungs are no longer strong enough to keep her alive.

# My God is a good God who cares... #

She's been put on an ECMO machine to do the work for her.

It was a complicated procedure but the doctors had no other option.

Their words were,

"If we don't fit the ECMO today,

"she might get through tonight and she might not."

So, you get told that you sign the consent forms.

Because one night's not long enough and fingers crossed the ECMO does

a long enough job for Kirstie to get the lungs and get out of here.

This is only a temporary solution.

In general it's not possible for a patient to be on ECMO for more than five to ten days.

The window's getting smaller and smaller.

We have to have that phone call for lungs.

We just need something.

We need a miracle now.

We're praying for that miracle and I would give anything at this point.

Kirstie and Stu have been married for exactly three weeks.

And as a husband now I need to provide for her and help her

but I cannot provide this and I should...but I can't.

Still got hope.

If you haven't got hope, you're even more useless.

I do not want to drive away from this hospital without my wife next to me.

That's now my goal and my dream...

..here.

But no lungs arrive. And with Kirstie clinging on to life, the wait goes on.

# Rather die in your arms Than die lonesome

# Rather die hard, than die hollow

# The higher that I climb

# The deeper I fall down

# I'm running out of time

# So let's dance while we're waiting

# We will live longer than I will

# We will be better than I was

# We can cross rivers with our will

# We can do better than I can

# So dance while you can. #

I left hospital last night, got home

and after about an hour there I got a phone call from Lynne.

Basically screaming at me, I think the words were, "Get your arse here.

"We've had a call. The lungs are here."

The donor lungs are a match for Kirstie and are on their way to Harefield.

But after waiting so long her body is in danger of shutting down altogether.

She has to be taken to the operating theatre

and put on bypass while they wait for the donor lungs to arrive.

It just finally seems like we're getting somewhere now.

There's light at the end of the tunnel. So we're nearly there.

Nearly four months after going on the list,

Kirstie's transplant operation finally goes ahead.

It lasts four and a half hours.

We're just waiting around now until we can pop in and see her.

Just a waiting game again. Another waiting game, but we're getting there.

We're getting towards the end game.

-Hi. I spoke to you on the phone.

-Yeah. Stuart.

-Is that right? Hi, Gavin Wright.

-Nice to meet you.

-She's doing very well.

-Yeah?

She is being ventilated just with air.

Her lungs don't need any extra oxygen. They're really top quality.

Is she still on ECMO, or is that all?

No, no. We've removed all of the pipes for the ECMO.

And she's just living off her own lungs now, off her new lungs.

-Yeah.

-She doesn't need ECMO any more.

-That's amazing.

It's all looking good.

-Thank you so much.

-See you soon.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Yeah.

-It's all right. It's all good. That's amazing. Oh,

-BLEEP.

She doesn't mess about, does she, eh?

She scares the crap and puts us on the edge and right up, generally play the wire, doesn't she?

-She's not giving you an easy ride. >

-I wonder if she saw the bright light?

I don't know. It can't have been far off.

Kirstie very nearly died.

The donor lungs became available at the last possible moment.

Kirstie was desperate to get a lung transplant.

She was so unstable that we had to go on bypass

because the ECMO was not able to do the job any more.

She was very lucky.

With Kirstie's old lungs removed,

consultant surgeon Mr Toufan Bahrami

can see the full damage caused by her cystic fibrosis.

This X-ray is the morning before the operation.

This is the evening following the procedure.

And we can see the left lung is completely blocked

and the only part which was partly functioning is the upper lobe.

All the white patchy area,

they are damaged lungs due to infection.

Three-quarters of the right lung was not functioning.

Immediately after surgery, the structure of the lung is normal.

In six, seven years of transplant

at Harefield, I haven't seen such a poor state of lungs

in a cystic fibrotic patient.

# Let the rain wash away All the pain of yesterday

# I know my kingdom... #

How are you?

Kirstie has had her new lungs for nine days,

and is still coming to terms with the enormity of what's just happened.

I didn't expect to be so near the edge of life really.

I knew I was ill,

and I think I was so used to trying to convince people I was ill

that I'd kind of forgotten just how ill I was myself.

Every day is an improvement. I mean, every time you see Kirstie

you can see more swelling's gone down.

She's got a smile on her face.

The surgeon said they're some of the best lungs they've put in anybody,

so we have to be thankful for that.

Kirstie will be more than grateful for that, and I know she'll do

the donor proud whatever she does.

I think nothing really prepares you for this.

It's very traumatic,

but it's definitely worth it.

I think you read and read so much information

that it just, you never know how.

But, like I said, it's definitely worth it.

It will be when I walk out of here as well.

Little steps, isn't it?

And then you can start beating up Stuey.

Did that anyway!

Can you do that already?

Someone's got to keep him in line.

# When the daylight comes Do you feel it?

# Leave your bag of bones Underneath your bed

# Everything is as it should be... #

Walkies!

Walkies!

It has been almost seven weeks since Kirstie's transplant.

What a couple of months.

Her memories of the days leading up to the operation are still very fresh in her mind.

I was really fighting then.

Every breath was literally...

I just, I can't even explain how hard it was.

I mean, difficult doesn't, it wasn't difficult, it was just impossible.

And obviously, I'm so glad that I had the strength,

I had the family

and the surgeons, and my donor just,

and they saved my life really.

-Stu, go and get Kia a stick.

-You get a stick. You can walk now!

Kirstie's struggle has barely begun.

It will take months to get her strength back.

And she faces a lifetime of anti-rejection treatment

so that her body accepts her new lungs.

But Kirstie knows now she and Stu have a future.

I'm living and I'm breathing, and my chest is clear.

I feel like I can do so much more. I just don't feel breathless.

And when I do, it's because I've run somewhere. I've done something.

I've done a lot of exercise, and it's a normal breathlessness.

It's because I'm unfit.

I can't reach if you're pushing me away at the same time.

It's nothing's that's wrong.

It's just I'm working my lungs.

My shiny new lungs.

Give me a kiss then.

When we kissed before,

I could only do it for a short time

and I had little oxygen in my blood anyway so it was like,

just a feeling of breathlessness. So we'd just like,

all we'd do was this, wouldn't we?

That was as much as our kissing got.

But now we can kiss properly!

-And I don't feel breathless.

-Nope.

-Don't take your breath away any more, do I?

-No!

# I really want to go out

# I really want to go outside To stop to see your day... #

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