My Hoarder Mum and Me

-We can make a rubbish and a recycling.

-Did we throw these away or are these new?

Oh, bother!

They're new.

Always acquiring and never discarding,

Vasoulla is a hoarder.

I don't care if it's falling apart!

-Stop getting stressed out.

-I do get stressed out.

Daughter Jasmine has had a lifelong struggle with Vasoulla's condition.

All through my life, I've felt like my mum's stuff was more important than me.

I've tried to make her choose, and she couldn't choose

because it was not a choice,

it was purely a compulsion that she couldn't control.

But Jasmine's finally persuaded her mum to try and clear the house for good.

Help me make a decision. I'm playing with it now!

My mum is an amazing mum.

She's loving, caring, she's interested in what we do.

And, you know, she's a fantastic mum.

She's just rubbish at housework!

Jasmine grew up in this house, where her mother, Vasoulla, still lives.

The first room we come to is the, er, not-living-room.

WIND CHIMES TINKLE

Not a lot of space.

There's a nice open fireplace, but we can't see it.

There's, erm, pretty things

and there's allsorts of...

..useful things that are of no use.

The first things that I collected were tiny dolls house things

that were found in derelict houses that had been bombed during the war in London.

I was about five or six.

And they were precious and I kept them in a box.

But I didn't keep them in the house, I kept them in the coal bunker.

The sudden death of Vasoulla's father, when she was just three, meant an unsettled childhood

as the family moved between their native Cyprus and England.

Each time we moved from one country to another,

there were lots of things that we couldn't take, so they'd be lost.

And I don't know if that contributed to hoarding,

but it's possible that losing your precious little toys when you're a child

means that you feel vulnerable that you're going to have things taken from you.

The cooker's here and the sink is here. It's full of stuff.

When I have to cook, I just have to move everything off of some surface in order to cook,

or just cut things up in the air and in the pan.

Vasoulla's daughter Jasmine is a television presenter,

who finds beautiful homes for people to live in.

I like to vacuum everything.

I vacuum the chairs, I vacuum the...sofas, erm,

the kitchen worktops!

I'll put this away now.

I've had my fix for the day!

Jasmine spent many years trying to get Vasoulla to clear the house,

with little success.

As a child, it's impossible to cope with that kind of situation.

You just feel ashamed and embarrassed.

You know, you can't have friends over.

I wanted to keep it a secret.

And, also, when people had come round,

people might make comments or, you know, might say,

"Why don't you just tidy up?"

And we had always tried to tidy up

and had always tried to throw things out.

And that still happens to this day. "Why don't you just clear it out?"

"Why don't you just throw everything away?"

Because it doesn't work.

Do you think we haven't tried that before?

This is the only bath. There's another loo downstairs, but there's no other bath.

The room that was originally my own room is through there.

I've slept in whatever space has been available.

I've either slept on the floor on a mattress in the doorway.

I had a mattress that came out from that room to here.

Jewellery... All these bits and pieces.

I don't like other people touching my things because I feel that,

especially some things, they're quite fragile and I feel,

are they going to be careful, or are they going to break it and then say it was already broken?

Or are they going to take it?

I think this is all going to fall down.

Stay.

Really nobody understands this disease.

You can't understand it unless you're living it,

unless it is your reality.

I can't understand it, I still don't understand it, but I accept it

because I know that if my mum had a choice, she wouldn't want to live this.

Vasoulla brought up her five children in the house.

13-year-old son Cameron still lives at home,

but this hasn't always been the case.

We had a situation where Mum was told

that this environment was not safe for a child to live in,

and he went to live with my sister.

It was quite a long time. It was a couple of years.

And then Cameron wanted to move back home.

Not even Cameron's room is safe from Vasoulla's hoarding.

His space has been encroached upon more and more by me,

and now he's got to the point where he's a big lad

and he needs a space to grow and thrive.

Can I throw away the Financial Times from 2010?

-That's Cameron's.

-I'll ask him what he wants out of it.

Now Cameron's back home, Jasmine has convinced Vasoulla to clear the house, for his sake.

-You think I'm going to want a copy of the Financial Times?

-Mum asked me to ask you.

-No.

I don't want him to have to go through his teenage years

experiencing the same kind of things that I did.

I think I only really became aware that my mum was a hoarder,

and that it wasn't just being messy,

only a couple of years ago. Really recently,

considering that I've lived in that kind of situation

for most of my life!

Jasmine has struggled to get effective treatment for her mum,

but is now hopeful that a team of psychologists, who are studying hoarding, may be able to help.

I'm hoping that the doctor that we're meeting today,

he's got a magic key or something

that can unlock the problem and can set Mum free from it.

That's what I really want.

Hoarding is currently considered a form of obsessive compulsive disorder.

But Doctor Mataix-Cols believes it's a condition in its own right.

The hope is that the research we and others are doing

is that this will be recognised as an official disorder,

and this will trigger a lot of investment and research

and development of better treatments for this condition.

Dr Mataix-Cols and his colleague have come to assess Vasoulla.

No bubbles. Well, there is a little bit.

Lovely.

Would you perhaps want to tell us, erm,

what's the story behind any of those items,

perhaps one of these figurines?

The Eiffel Tower...

I have been to the Eiffel Tower, but I didn't get this there.

I got this in a charity shop for next to nothing,

because you can't afford to buy them in France, in Paris.

And I've got several French friends that it kind of reminds me of.

One of them's passed away last year

and it kind of reminds me of him, as well.

My friend's been cremated,

so there's no, er, nowhere to kind of, erm,

no burial place where you can imagine and you can talk to them.

This would be very difficult to get rid of, as well.

It came from my mother's kitchen

and we made it into a necklace for a fancy dress.

If I had to get rid of it,

I would just be, you know, remembering my mum and...

I would also like to ask you

whether there is new stuff coming into the house all the time.

Yes, but...

..I'm resisting a lot, as well.

-It's a very secretive problem.

-Totally.

I really feel like I would like to...

..deal with it.

Is there anything that family members, any tools that I could use,

something to help tap into what she's thinking

or to break this sort of attachment or... anything?

There isn't a lot, in terms of treatment options in this country, or anywhere in the world, actually,

simply because the disorder doesn't officially exist.

Once the disorder exists,

things should change a lot for the better.

I really want to take this on board and help my...

..improve my life.

Help myself to have a better home and a better life,

and for my children, as well.

What was very hard to hear is that...

..that there's very little help for people,

even though you know someone's got this problem,

they're just looking for answers...

..and there aren't any out there.

Nobody knows the answer.

ALL: Cheers, everyone!

With very little treatment available,

it's left to Jasmine and her siblings to confront their Mum's problem head-on.

Do you remember when we had Christmas dinner in my bedroom?

-Oh, yes!

-Do you remember?

-I had forgotten!

My room was probably the only room where there was space.

-John's the tidy one!

-So we had Christmas dinner in my bedroom.

It's ridiculous!

-We didn't mind.

-We thought it was normal!

We thought everybody had Christmas dinner in the bedroom!

'We've wanted to start the process a million times before,

'but this is the first time she's ever seemed to be ready.

'So I think you've got to strike while the iron's hot.'

We're all here to support you and we'll do anything we can to help you.

I'm thinking today, it wouldn't be so bad if the house burnt down

and everything was gone, then I could start again.

But in a way,

you know, it doesn't have to burn down to be all gone,

it can be all gone through choice.

For your own choice. I think that would be better.

I'm sure we've all thought about burning the house down at one time or another!

Put it in the box. If you like them, we can have them.

Over the next two months, Jasmine and Vasoulla are hoping to clear the whole living room,

kitchen, bathroom and two bedrooms.

This stuff, I thought I wanted to keep.

'It's really hard for me to get rid of anything, any of this stuff.

'I want to. It's just hard.'

Are you sorting stuff?

I'm sorting and resorting, by the look of it.

I've handled all these and I've decided...

-..I don't know what to do with them!

-Exactly!

With virtually no space in the house to sort through things,

Jasmine has rented some storage nearby.

We've tried throwing everything out before.

I can't throw stuff away that belongs to Mum

because she would feel violated and would want to replace it immediately.

So it's totally counterproductive.

The way we have to let go of possessions

is that Mum has to work through every single item

and she has to have control of it.

THEY GRUNT

Couldn't you collect something light?

I'm hoping that I can keep everything I want to keep

and still have a tidy and liveable house.

-So I'm not -

-So, you don't think you've got too much stuff?

That's not what I said. You're trying to put words in my mouth.

It sounds to me like you're almost backing out and changing your mind.

-I'm not backing out!

-"I want to keep everything and reorganise."

-I'm not saying that!

-The problem is that the hallway's just one part of the house.

-Yes.

And I might want to keep 90 percent of what's in the hallway,

but it doesn't mean I want to keep 90 percent of what's in the bedroom.

One, two, three, up.

It's like the heaviest trolley in the world.

Sell.

Keep.

I would like to keep my recipe books.

-All of them?

-And this one. Maybe not all of them.

How many have you got?

-About 5,000.

-Right!

I think I'd like to keep the biology book, too, because it's really cool.

Have a look at the ratio that you've...

Uh-oh.

Oops.

Sorry!

It's depressing really, because...

..I just know that she wants to keep most things.

If we carry on going at this rate,

I'll be 135 by the time the house is clear!

It's one pound apiece, all right?

-OK.

-Because they're too nice to sell for 50p.

After two weeks of sorting, Vasoulla has agreed to let go of a car-boot full of possessions

she's prepared to sell.

-You've got some nice plates there.

-Thanks.

-You're welcome.

Christmas cards, we got...

They're very special.

More Christmas cards! Do you want to have a look?

It's good, isn't it, buying Christmas cards in April?!

I'm selecting some Christmas cards for myself,

before they sell them all.

Jasmine's brother Andy is helping out on Vasoulla's stall.

She's sifting through her own stuff that she's brought here.

It's not unheard of for her to give things away,

she's given stuff away to the, er, to the Salvation Army,

and it's her own stuff that she took there three days previously,

she goes back and goes, "Actually, I can't live without this,"

and pays to take it away again.

So it's sort of expected!

We knew she wouldn't let go of everything straight away.

-I'll give it to you for 6.50.

-Why not seven? It's a good price.

Actually, I think I'll just keep this one, because I really love it.

She doesn't want to sell anything.

6.50 is where we meet. We said seven, you said six.

It's better to sell these items than not sell.

-I'm not getting angry.

-Just go away.

-Don't tell me to go away.

Give me this... Er, what can I say...

This.

And it's 6.50, not six now. So you get that for nothing.

I'm sorry about my mum. I feel embarrassed.

I do feel embarrassed.

That was ridiculous, by the way.

At the end of the day, you might as well sell the stuff, not quibble over 50p.

Let her have it. It doesn't matter.

-We're not here to make money, are we?

-Aren't we?

We're here to get rid of the mountain of stuff that you've got.

We're coming away with less stuff than I thought we would.

I'm surprised about that, rather than the other way.

Why? Because you sabotage every sale that we have?

No! Only a couple of people that were trying to...

..take us for a ride.

One, two, three.

'I'm just exhausted now.'

And I've probably got about 40 quid in my little pouch

to, er, show for all the hard work, so...!

I'd rather give her 40 quid.

I'd rather give her 40 quid and buy all that stuff

and do with it whatever I wanted, but that's no good.

I've offered her money for her stuff before.

I said, "I'll give you this amount of money

and you give me everything in your house,"

but she wouldn't agree to that because she knows I might ditch some of the things that she loves.

Not only does Vasoulla find it difficult to get rid of things,

she constantly acquires new belongings.

At my worst, I would be bringing in, say,

four or five carrier bags of second-hand stuff,

or new stuff, it didn't matter, a day,

or a couple of times a week

at least.

It's like placing a bet and winning.

When you go out and you find something,

you've won, you've found more treasure.

So you take it home. Erm...

But at the end of the day, it's, erm, counterproductive

because there's so much stuff that you can't use any of it.

I bought these yesterday.

So there's two kiddies' books, one self-help, one decorating book.

When Jasmine phoned me up, I was still there

and she said, "Where are you?" and I told her.

And Jasmine's like, "Oh, Mum!

"You're not to supposed to bring books in!

"I'm working so hard to help you empty the place!"

Because she is working so hard.

So...sorry, Jasmine.

See those sticks in that bag?

I was thinking, "They'd be useful for propping my plants up."

'Mine and my mum's relationship is completely dominated by the hoarding.

'That's all we talk about, and it's been that way for a while now.'

-What are you doing?

-This thing on its own is about five quid to buy.

There was a time when we couldn't even broach the subject

because it would just end in tears every time.

And then we just didn't really talk much.

Or we just talked about the weather.

I've felt very much like a homeless person over the last few years,

because my home has been occupied

by the possessions.

Jasmine and her mum have been clearing the house for a month now,

but have ground to a halt.

If I had a bigger space and I put everything out,

instead of being that way, it was that way, and I could see it all,

I could then decide, "Oh, I don't actually want all that stuff

and I just want this one or this one."

-Like a football-field size of space?

-That what I was thinking.

It's a radical step, but they both agree to move the contents of the living and dining rooms

to a nearby warehouse.

Vasoulla now has to decide what she really needs to keep.

I feel I'm ready for it to happen.

It doesn't stop it being stressful.

Do you want some more bags? There's more.

It's really weird. It's really nice, actually.

I think the last time I was in this room,

I was probably just still a child.

Every Christmas, we had the Christmas tree here and we used to get up at,

you know, before the crack of down and sit down here!

We weren't allowed to open our presents until seven o'clock. That was the rule.

If you... Be careful, madam!

-Even though it's a bit of rubbish to you...

-No, it's OK.

..it's still very useful for what I want to use it for.

I honestly wish that

it could all just drive away and never come back

and I never have to deal with it again.

But, obviously, Mum would kill me!

If it was all gone, never to be seen again,

would it really matter?

I hope this isn't a plan that you've cooked up.

Ugh! I'm not.

The question popped into my head and I just wondered how you would feel.

If the van drove off and never reappeared,

I just wouldn't trust anybody again.

-I've walked into the wrong house!

-JASMINE LAUGHS

-Since when was that there?

-Did you not know there was a door there?

Wow.

Look, Mum found something of yours.

HORSE NEIGHS

Burn it!

I think I handled it the worst out of probably all of us kids.

I can remember one awful time.

I was out on a date and, erm, the guy dropped me home

and I got out the car and he went, "Can I use the loo quickly?"

-You said no.

-I said, "No, you can't."

And he went, "What?" I said, "No, I'm sorry."

I'd never discussed it with him, but I said, "It's too messy."

He said, "It can't be that messy." I said, "Wait here a minute."

And I went upstairs and cleared the toilet out

so that he could go to the loo!

That was dreadful.

Aww, I'm sorry.

It's a lot of stuff. It's masses of stuff. Seeing it spread out like this,

it looks even more than it did in the house.

She doesn't have long to decide, as the warehouse has only been rented for two weeks.

I don't know how I'm going to go through it, but I will have to.

So...I'm lucky it didn't disappear on the way here.

Aww! SHE LAUGHS

So sweet! That's holiday snaps from seven, eight years ago.

I forgot I even had these.

That's me and Cameron, when he was about four, in Portugal.

It feels good to have the space, even just to see the table again.

You can touch...

You can open your arms out without touching anything!

You're not afraid of walking because there's nothing to fall on top of you.

SHE CHUCKLES

Even though the floor's filthy and needs a wash,

I can still walk around.

But I'm having to stop being a hoarder.

It's still in my brain.

The stuff is still, you know, all turning around in my brain

and I'm, you know, thinking, "That and that and that."

But I'm really...

I'm really hoping that we continue, because I don't want to stop,

and I can almost breathe again.

Time to get to school, Cameron.

-See you, Mum.

-Bye, sweetheart. Have a good day.

-Hello!

-Hi, Mum!

Are you moving in?!

-Oh, my God!

-It's a bit much, isn't it?

Vasoulla's sons, Johnny and Andy,

have come to help their mother sort out what to keep.

I think we should do a skim. You just go, "This, this, this, I'm going to keep"

and then we'll just shift it out the way.

I don't feel quite ready to get rid of a lot of the stuff yet.

So it's difficult for me to say, "I don't want that"

when I still really want everything.

But I don't want to take it back home either.

Can you just say what you see that you want to keep?

-This, definitely?

-What's in it?

-Nothing. It's empty.

-Where's the set that was in it?

-Quickly, then. Have a look at that.

-I want that. I like that.

-Definitely want to keep that?

-Yes.

Pyrex?

-They're a dime a dozen, yes?

-Erm...

Somebody wanted a lasagne dish that I know.

They can go to the shop and buy one, then!

These are broken, these speakers.

And they're mine, as well. So can I throw them away, please?

-Where were they?

-In the pram.

The only reason I have speakers is because they've got magnets on them.

-Yes, but -

-Can I have the magnets and not the speakers?

If she's asking me if she can keep them, I'm going to say no.

The thing is, these things that she wants to keep,

they'll go back into the house and they'll sit there forever

and she'll never do with them the things she has in mind.

Like, with those speakers, she wants the magnets to pick up paper clips.

If we ever come to that, we can just buy her another magnet!

Or another speaker, if that's what she wants!

She'd rather buy a speaker, dismantle it and take the magnet out

in order to pick up some paper clips!

Are you asking me if you can have my magnets? No. The answer's no.

If it's up to me, the answer's no.

OK. That's not very helpful.

What do you mean? They're mine. I'm keeping them.

OK.

That's not very good, is it?

Don't let it get to you. They're my speakers. You don't need them.

-Do you?

-No.

-Well.

I don't want my mum to be upset,

but that is a barrier that sort of needs to be softened up a little bit.

'You can't just give in to her because she wants to keep everything.'

-Mum.

-Yes?

-It's all right. Look at me.

Do you want to take five?

If we're going to make progress, it'll be hard.

She knows that. She's agreed to do it.

-This is the speed that you can go at.

-It's not!

-There's nothing...

This is the speed that you can go at if you've not got feelings towards the things you're looking at.

You're sorting out what is the absolute shite from what you can use.

-All right? Done?

-Not done!

There's all of that to sort. Can you look at the stuff that you've still got to sort?

That whole end needs to be cleared today.

This is futile, what you're doing.

You have to decide what's important to you.

It's important for me that you don't shout at me.

-I'm not. This is talking.

-It's important -

Don't try and make me out to be a bad guy.

Let me talk, then. It's important to me that you don't shout at me.

It's important that you let me have my thoughts

and it's important to me that we do it quickly, too.

So do it quickly.

'I was expecting my mum to be much more ready to get rid of stuff at this stage.'

It feels like she's made a choice, she'd rather have the stuff than us round. Round her house.

Especially with my little brother, who still lives there...

And you'd think that, you know,

him having to live in all that crap, all that rubbish surrounding him,

you'd think that would be enough of an incentive for her to clear up.

Everything Vasoulla wants to save will be stored in a locker.

There's loads of space!

-"It won't fit!"

-Why don't you sit down? Have a seat!

I feel right at home!

We'll just load it all in around you and you can stay in there!

This is just how home is.

All of this stuff, plus the stuff's that's not yet sorted in the warehouse,

is all just from living room and dining room,

and it has to go back into the house because you're keeping it.

But compare what's here to what's going.

-There's the same. I'd say 50-50.

-No.

-I'd say 50-50.

If you put all this back into those two rooms,

obviously they wouldn't be functional as rooms.

They would just be storage units again.

She feels like she's making a lot of sacrifices

and that we're pushing her into it,

but, actually, she's not making enough sacrifices

because there's still a huge amount of stuff here.

-That's the last thing.

-Cool.

I feel differently on different days.

Even different minutes.

One minute I'm thinking, "Throw the lot away. It wouldn't matter if everything was gone."

But the moment passes and then I'm again, you know, "Ohh!"

Increasingly concerned at the amount Vasoulla still wants to hang on to,

Jasmine is keen for the process not to stall.

It's been completely trial and error.

Everything I've done with my mum, I've been feeling my way along,

making mistakes along the way, finding out what works, what doesn't,

and it's definitely a journey of discovery.

Jasmine's travelling to New York to meet American author Jessie Sholl,

who recently wrote a book about her own mother's hoarding.

I read the book,

and there were a lot of similarities in there with me and my mum.

It wasn't identical, there was a few slightly different things,

but you read it...

..and you can just relate to it.

Like Jasmine, Jessie has struggled for years to combat her mother's hoarding.

Three years ago, she decided never to set foot in her mum's house again.

For Jasmine, it's a chance to explore a different way of dealing with her mother's condition.

Because you want so badly to be able to help your parents,

we all want our parents to live in a safe and healthy environment,

so we want more than anything to be able to fix it.

It's so hard to jump forward and out of denial,

and I think the only way you can get through it is by going through it.

You have to try and fail.

That's really the only way that you can get to the point of letting go.

I still am the daughter of a hoarder,

I still have a mother with a mental illness and I always will,

but I can choose right now how much it's affecting my life

and right now, it's not.

I tried so many times. I cleaned her house.

Not just that, but I spent years, you know,

trying to convince her over the phone, "Clean one room a week,"

thinking, like, I needed the one magic plan,

and if I could figure it out,

erm, her mind would flip and she wouldn't be a hoarder.

She'd realise, have this revelation and go, "Oh, yes!

"Wouldn't it be nice to be able to sleep in my bed

-"and cook in my kitchen?"

-Right. Exactly.

After trying for years and years,

and being infested with parasites, scabies, twice,

I just had to say, "That's it. I'm done."

I would've given up a long time ago if I didn't have the motivation of my youngest brother.

-Right.

-To make the environment better for him.

-That's a big one.

I've thought about this a lot in terms of hoarding,

and often I think the hoarder's anxiety and comfort level should not be the priority.

-It should be the child.

-It's the people who live with them

and it's the people who are really affected.

Because, yes, getting rid of this millionth copy of this paperback

might cause the hoarder anxiety,

but how much anxiety does it cause the child who's living there?

-So I think that...

-You're right. It's not very balanced.

-It's not at all.

I hadn't really thought about it in that way.

If she ever gets to the point where the progress stops,

you might have to just take your brother out and have him live with you.

Yes. Which I would be more than happy to do.

It would be a lot easier than trying to clear it out!

Why not just do that?

-Because he wants to be at home with his mum.

-I see.

And my mum wants him to be at home with her.

I hate to say it,

-but I've just never seen someone not hoard any more.

-Mm.

-It's discouraging, isn't it?

-It's very, very discouraging.

I might be sounding really blinkered,

because all the facts and statistics and everything

are plain for anyone to see, glaringly obvious,

"She's never going to recover" and I might as well just give up!

Well,

that's just bollocks.

You know. That is just...not an option.

So even if I am being blinkered, and even if I am wasting my time,

I can't think of anything I'd prefer to be doing right now.

I would just... I just want to crack on with it...

..and, you know, only time will tell.

For Jasmine, there's a lot more at stake than there was for me,

and that is because she has a 13-year-old brother living there.

I mean, that really changes everything.

If I were Jasmine, I think I probably would be doing the exact same thing.

It's the final day of clearing at the warehouse.

Good morning!

Anything Vasoulla hasn't set aside to keep

will be taken away to be sold or disposed of in just a few hours.

OK, OK.

-OK.

-What do you want us to do, Mum?

-Cast your eye over this stuff.

-I might have to have a nervous breakdown.

Do I want a fancy skirt?

Oh, it's not a skirt, it's a top. THEY LAUGH

I'm feeling stressed. I've taken lots of drugs.

You know, medication.

Can you please let me finish what I'm doing? This was my mum's fork.

Yes!

So you don't have to bend your wrist.

You're not going to keep it, are you?

You haven't got wrist problems, have you, yet?

What about this? Is this your favourite spoon?

No, that's... You know what that is. Stop taking the pee.

I've got this at home. I've got the toy.

Oh. Why have you got it? I hope you lot haven't...

I've been looking for these things! I hope you haven't put them in the bin!

-Why are you sounding so -

-And this I need!

-Why do you need it?

-For my...

-What do you mean, "need"?

-I need it!

-Let's get this straight.

-I need it to throw at Cameron!

'She's in a panic.'

My magic rope.

There's no need to be, because everything of any value,

and a lot of things of no value, have already been taken out.

I won't take it personally.

I just want to get on with it with as little stress as possible.

It's like a bloody orgy in this box! Look at that!

There's only one girl, though. Oh, here's the rest of them.

Right, there's no Lego in there.

I'm panicking about some things. SHE SIGHS

OK. They're coming in less than an hour,

so I want you to make sure that you are prepared

and you've done the most important things.

I don't know what you've done, what you've thrown and what you haven't.

For me, it would be better to take it slower.

But I am a bit worried about letting my kids down

and I'm also...

..very concerned about my youngest son.

He's the one I'm worried about most.

I feel like I have to let them get stuff moving, for his sake.

-Somebody's gone through those boxes.

-You might not know that there's something I really want!

So, can I just say, is that the top priority,

or is the stuff that nobody's looked at the priority?

-Well, both.

-Which one first? You can't do them both first.

I'm doing this at the moment!

-I can't put them anywhere -

-Put them in a different box.

-I'm not starting a new box.

-You're all panicking!

-We're not.

-You're all panicking and you're making me -

You have decided to keep everything at the last minute.

No, I haven't decided to keep everything!

You're really going to keep these?

Please, it's something I have to work through, OK?

Please.

And this... These things I'm keeping, too, please.

These pictures and this lid for that box.

I don't want those.

My kids are all going to beat me up if I'm not careful.

They hate me because I want to check through the stuff.

Does every family have random stuff like this, or is it just me?

SHE SIGHS

I would like to keep all these action figures.

Don't make me flip out, Mum.

Don't flip out, love.

-I'm not going to keep -

-One, two.

Out of them?

-I'm telling you, you're not keeping all of these dolls.

-Look...

-Just -

-You're not.

-Just -

-I can't let you.

-Who sorted it?

-No-one sorted it

because you said the toys can go, except for the Lego.

-These were here! I thought they were at home!

-Stop screaming.

I'm sorry if I'm screaming.

-I'm not screaming. You should hear me scream.

-Well, you're screeching, then.

-All right, love.

-Whether or not you knew these were here,

we were just following what you said.

-I'm trying to control myself.

-Thank you.

-I'd like you to allow me -

-No.

I'd like you... Actually, I'm not asking you,

I'm telling you, I'm keeping those.

If that isn't with your agreement, then we have to fall out.

OK.

-How much more do you want people to do for you?

-Nothing.

So just go. Just leave.

-Call Jasmine. I'm not going.

-I'm not calling Jasmine.

Jasmine's left because you're behaving in a way that's not dignified.

-What do you mean, "not dignified"?

-I mean what I say, Mother!

This is for you. We're not doing this for ourselves.

You've got to let go of it. What's important in your life, this shit or your family?

Think about it, seriously. This is plastic shit. Yes?

Your family love you. It's not worth upsetting your family for any of this stuff.

I'd give everything that you've kept for not upsetting Jasmine for one minute.

-All right. I'll take a few.

-One in ten. Two in ten.

You know what I mean? How many do you really need?

-You're keeping these, yes?

-I haven't gone through them yet.

-Sorry.

-Quickly, though. It's time to go.

-Wait, wait, wait!

-You can have these boots. There you go.

-Sorry, Mum.

-Sorry, darling.

One minute, And.

Shall we all just wait, then?

-Come on.

-Let me get these little things, please!

I'm looking at...

..Homes & Gardens.

SHE LAUGHS

At least it's not Good Housekeeping!

Are you all right, darling?

-I think you've done an amazing job.

-You have. I'm rubbish.

-I'm rubbish at it.

-You need the patience of an angel to be able to deal with this.

I just feel like...

I feel like I'm going to cry with joy.

I'm so glad it's going.

My kids have lost their patience with me.

I don't blame them. They've lived with me

and I'm still the same person, you see.

It's difficult for me to be able to let go

as easily as I'd like to.

In two weeks, Vasoulla has got rid of half the contents

from her living and dining rooms.

-Good riddance!

-Indeed.

That was the best clearance we've ever done.

All that stuff's gone.

Oh, what a relief!

Three weeks later, the momentum continues

as they clear the garden, hallway, a toilet, bedroom for Vasoulla

and a room for Cameron.

I'm not going to go and buy things to replace the things that have gone,

unless I really need them.

That's the idea. But whether it works...

I hope it works, I really do.

But after a lifetime of hoarding,

there are still two flights of stairs,

the landings, the bathroom,

three bedrooms and the kitchen still to sort.

I feel just tired of it.

I did say to her last week, "We can just stop."

She said she didn't want to stop.

I even asked Cameron to come and live with me so I could stop,

so I could not have to worry about it any more.

He said no, as well!

How long do you think it's going to take us to do this kitchen?

Quite a while because everything is dirty.

-You've got a dishwasher.

-Everything is out of place.

I'm going to be battling with myself the whole time.

You know...

"Throw it away. No, keep it!"

-Keep this?

-It's up to you.

We'll keep it for now.

I always wanted to fix the house, and to fix my mum,

and I don't think I'll be able to fix my mum.

But she's my mum and I love her

and I'll never give up on her.

Keep that. Where's the keep box? Thank you.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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