Sam and Evan: From Girls to Men

This programme contains some strong language

17-year-old Sam and 20-year-old Evan moved in together after dating for only five months.

But theirs is no ordinary gay relationship.

These two young men were born girls.

I think I make a pretty good lad.

BELCHES

It just so happens that I was born in a female's body.

If I had the option of living as a girl or not living at all,

I'd choose to not live because it's not life for me.

Sam and Evan's change from girls to men

has not been easy for their families to accept.

I was devastated, angry, upset.

I don't think you ever expect your kid's

going come up to you and say they're not what sex they are.

Underneath their clothes, the lads both still have female bodies.

They want to change this but it's not straightforward.

I might be intersexed.

Oh, my God!

As the young couple try to get on with their day-to-day life,

they face prejudice and intimidation.

-They're throwing eggs.

-Look, they're getting pretty close.

Where are they coming from?

This is Sam and Evan's story,

as they come of age...

You are now a proper adult.

..and change their bodies from girls

to men.

17-year-old Sam is trying to find his own way in the world.

He recently moved out of his parents' home in Surrey

to move 200 miles away

into a council house in Rochdale with his boyfriend Evan.

I tell you what, this is right hard work down at the bottom.

It's a big decision, moving in with your partner

because there's always the question what if it doesn't work?

I was worried about people judging me, judging us, for moving in together after how long? Five months.

-Life's about risks, you've got to take them.

-Oh, shit!

Have you dripped on the floor? Do it on the floor.

The roller doesn't fit in!

Oh, my god, sorry.

Yeah, I feel really lucky that I found Evan, I think he's one in a billion.

Bits of the roller are coming off the wall!

Yes, well, it was 50p,

I don't expect first-class rollers.

He's the person I feel most comfortable with. Yeah, out of anyone

I feel most comfortable with him.

He's like my best friend, really.

The room's going to be good when it's done.

Yeah, it's good, it feels like it's our room now

rather than I've just moved in to yours.

'We are from very different backgrounds,'

I genuinely thought that everyone had a cleaner until I was about 14 or 15.

Really, that was news to me.

Because that was the lifestyle I'd been brought up in

why should everybody else be different?

When I first ever redecorated, Sam, I was about seven,

in fact, it was when I first moved to the house and it's not been decorated since.

I act very snobby a lot of the time but I'm not at heart, he knows that.

Otherwise I wouldn't have moved here.

So this is better because it's kind of, it's a lot more masculine.

More masculine, what, green stripes?

It's better than the pink.

Does it matter how masculine it is, really?

No, but I don't know, it's more me now if that makes sense.

-Yeah.

-It's older.

-And it's absolutely fabulous, darling.

-You're so gay.

Yes, dear.

I'm very much the more feminine of the two,

he very much wears the trousers so that works.

So I do all the cooking, he cleans up after dinner.

Just because I like girlie things,

it doesn't make me any less of a man.

I look ridiculous.

We are getting on together very well

so that's not really a problem.

It just feels nice to sort of move out and start my own life really.

I love you.

Fine then!

-(I love you.

-Love you too.)

Sam and Evan have been living together for a couple of months now,

but they don't have the house to themselves.

In the bedroom next to their love nest, is Evan's mum, Kath.

They're happy, and I'm happy, and you know, I love having Sam here,

he's a great guy, you know,

and, he's making my son happy

so I love him even more for that, you know.

# Happy birthday to you... #

It's Sam's 18th, and he's spending it with his new family.

# Happy birthday, dear Sam

# Happy birthday to you. #

Evan's mum Kath has organised a party to celebrate this milestone.

Hooray!

-If I was outside, I'd do this now.

-Yeah, but don't.

-Kiss.

-Did you just say give us a kiss?

He's my boyfriend, Mother.

Thank you.

Happy birthday, mate, you are now a proper adult.

'It's very nice to move in here because it's like another family unit.'

His mum does mother me a lot, sort of, where I need mothering.

I do love you, for all me shouting,

and I'd like us all to wish Sam a happy 18th birthday.

-ALL:

-Happy birthday, Sam!

I feel like I've got two sons now. I have grown

really, really fond of Sam

and as far as I'm concerned, you know,

I treat him like one of my own.

And I will be there for him as much as I would be for Evan.

What makes Sam and Evan's modern love story unusual

is they were both born girls.

I know loads of people are going to get confused with this,

people do get confused with this.

Me and Sam are both men,

we were both born female,

however we are both in a relationship so because we are both men,

we are in a gay relationship.

Sam and Evan met at a support group

for teenagers who believe they were born into the wrong bodies.

You look a bit gormless.

I am a bit gormless there! I look like a baby!

They have both already made the huge decision

to begin the process of changing their gender from female to male.

I was known as Yvonne,

now I am Evan, and I'm happy like that!

Sam and Evan have embarked on a journey to transform their bodies,

but it's a long process.

The first stage has been to change their names

and to begin to dress as men.

Obviously one of the most important things

to passing as a male is the clothes you wear,

you need to be wearing male clothes.

-Oh, I like that.

-It's a T-shirt pretending to be a shirt.

I like them.

Show me.

No.

Probably the most important thing is something people don't see at all.

Underneath my top I've got this black Spandex Lycra thing

known as a binder.

Yeah, basically it makes your chest flat.

Stretchy.

So you don't have big boobies everywhere.

It's also very uncomfortable

in general and gives you back pain.

But if you weigh it up against having boobs, it's kind of less painful.

I stress about any lump, at all, ever.

I suppose you're smaller than me, though, as well.

With me being big, a guy my size would have man boobs.

So I've just got man boobs.

Not quite done up, there you go.

Thank you.

Oh, I do like that. Do you?

I think it's just nice cos of the sleeves.

I look like an Eskimo!

You're messing up my hair!

Underneath their clothes, Sam and Evan still have female bodies

and need some help in the trouser department.

Today, with the help of Kath they're shopping for a packer,

which will give them the appearance of having male genitals.

So what sort of willy will you get, then?

Oh, God! Kill me now! Right.

KATH LAUGHS

They're quite droopy, aren't they?

Well, it's because they're stupidly big.

A medium is seven inches long, like, flaccid.

Right. So you don't want a big one.

Extra small, extra small, right, is actually normal size.

Imagine having that down your pants, it'd be hard to shut your legs!

It's just stupid, it genuinely looks stupid.

I should have got that one.

Right, shall we just get that one, what does it say, pink limpy packer?

Yes.

It's named right, isn't it? Pink limpy! It is a bit limpy.

Sam began living as a man when he was just 16.

If a person feels they're trapped in the wrong body,

many experts recommend they live as their preferred gender

for at least a year before they begin treatment.

Six months ago, Sam was months ago was prescribed the male hormone testosterone.

He'll be on it for the rest of his life,

but he's been unable to get to the doctors

for his fortnightly injection.

Good job Evan's mum Kath isn't afraid of needles.

Right, I'm going to fill it up.

Well, I've not done that before,

I don't mind injecting you

-but I don't particularly want to do that bit.

-Right, OK.

-It's all very exciting.

-Do you want me to hold that?

-It's all right for now.

-Mind you don't spill it.

I'm about five days late now for my shot

which doesn't sound very much but a lot of people get either

upset or angry towards the end of their shot when they're needing a new one.

These last five, six days have been absolutely terrible,

just been arguing, stressed and then I start feeling awful.

I dunno, it's like having PMS.

I was quite scared when I started testosterone actually.

Looking a bit nervy, Sam.

I am a bit nervy. I don't like injections.

Especially when it's done at home.

You look like you're going to give me some sort of anal exam!

Put them away!

Put them away!

I don't know what I'm going to be getting involved in, do I?!

You won't be able to give me an injection with them on.

Only kidding. Only pulling your leg.

I'll stick them back.

Your attempt at relaxing me, is it?

-Yeah!

-Right.

Come on, show us your arse.

All right.

Although I had the choice

as to whether to have that needle put in my body or not,

at the same time

I knew if I didn't I would continue to feel, you know, absolutely horrific about myself.

That's OK, there's no blood.

Right, it's going in now.

I can tell you now with absolute certainty if I had the option of living as a girl or not living at all

I would just chose to not live because it's not life for me,

that was not life and it didn't feel like I was living at all.

The male hormone testosterone has made Sam's body change.

He's become hairier and his voice has become deeper and more masculine.

Today, Sam's showing Evan a video he made,

before he started having testosterone treatment.

Being confronted by how he used to sound and look

is uncomfortable viewing for Sam,

but reveals just how much he's transformed already.

Really I don't like seeing myself,

erm, you know before I transitioned

because it does remind you of a time when you felt absolutely awful in yourself,

reminds you of something you've worked so hard to get away from you don't want to look at it any more,

like a phobia of yourself.

-'My gender identity...'

-Big hair.

It's not that big.

It's huge. You're like Elvis.

-I don't look like Elvis.

-You do.

Evan isn't on testosterone yet as he has not lived as a man for a year.

'..toilets I use, that kind of stuff.

'But at the same time I'm very much the same person.

'I have the same hobbies, same interests...'

Your voice is so different now to what it was then.

You sound like a very posh...

I don't know how to say it without saying female.

You sound like, erm, who's that girl?

So they bullied me for being some sort of lesbian.

Hermione Granger!

That is the one!

Yes!

That is who you sound like.

You're a wanker!

-I do, don't I?!

-Yes!

'It was pretty much a homophobic culture

'in the sense that anything negative was gay.'

My voice started to change

about three days after I started taking testosterone.

'There was more bullying than before I came out.'

People at school thought I had a cold for ages!

They were hearing me every day as well

whereas if I just talked to someone on the street,

they would have said it's a man's voice.

But I know it just gets deeper and deeper.

It's still getting deeper.

'And from that, that sort of led to...

'sort of people talking about me behind my back.'

You get pretty desperate about it, I suppose,

you're just constantly living in this sort of limbo state

where you've basically transitioned but at the same time

because you're so physically unlike what you want to identify as,

you can't quite socially live as that.

Whereas once you've been on testosterone,

to all outward appearances, you're male entirely.

You can move out of the limbo phase and get on with your life, whereas you can't when you're like that.

Sam and Evan's childhoods were very different.

I've got so many presents there it's ridiculous.

Evan is an only child,

whereas Sam has three brothers.

But that was not the only difference.

Something to do with Barbie.

-'What are they?'

-Roller skates!

You've got Barbie roller skates and you're so happy!

'You've got Barbie roller skates!'

I would have chucked them in the bin!

'A Barbie bike!'

See, you get so much pink stuff and you like having it

-whereas if I'd got anything like that, I'd have been upset.

-Why have I got two sets?

I was like a stereotypical little boy,

the last time they managed to get me in a dress was when I was five,

and that was after two, three hours of shrieking.

My brothers would always get the toys that I wanted to get,

and because I was the only girl, everyone would give me the most feminine presents they could find

and I hated it. Especially when I grew up cos everyone gave me make up and it sat in a drawer

and never got put on.

See, this is me on the roller skates!

Oh, my God.

Be interested to see this.

Me roller-skating!

I'm four!

I think because this was always me, like all the way through

growing up, if you think about it, even when I was 16, 17,

in fact, even 18 going out, just before I was coming out,

I'd spend about an hour getting ready,

I'd do my makeup, I'd do my hair. I was wearing jewellery.

So when I came out, it was very, very hard for my family.

And I think this shows why, really.

When Evan first began to realise that he wanted to be a man,

he didn't tell any of his family, even though he'd gone to his doctor for advice.

I was absolutely petrified,

not because I wasn't capable to do it, but family is so important to me

and I was really, really scared that my family just wouldn't understand.

I was terrified that I'd be left with no-one.

Instead, Evan wrote about how he was feeling in a diary,

which his mum Kath found when cleaning his room.

I was really, really angry,

and I was like, "How dare Yvonne do this to me?"

and it was even to the stage of, "Well, she's not living with me

"if this is what she wants to do, she's not dragging me through this."

And I was so, so angry, and I had to sort of rein it in

when Yvonne came through the door, because Yvonne didn't know that I knew anything

and it was like we were play-acting in the house.

To be perfectly honest, I just wanted to get hold of her

and I wanted to shake her and shake her,

and say, "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

Kath didn't want to lose her daughter,

particularly because she'd already had to face this prospect when Yvonne was just a baby.

She was born without a forehead, so at six months old,

she was actually taken into hospital,

where she was cut from one ear to the other, and they made a fontanelle, so to speak,

to allow the brain to grow. And I think it was at that point I thought, "This child needs me.

"This child needs me more than ever now."

Remembering she was lucky her child was still alive

helped Kath come to terms with her daughter's desire to become a man.

I don't think it was... I didn't find it easy to understand,

but when your daughter's saying, "Mum, it is what I want."

And then you feel, "Well, what sort of mother am I?

"Why did I not know my daughter was feeling this?

"Well, I'm no mother. I should be struck off as a mother."

With his mum accepting who he really was, Evan now had to break the news

to his dad Mick, a butcher who lives 40 miles away, in Liverpool.

Although Mick split from Kath when Evan was a baby,

the two are really close.

You've brought the weather down with you again!

Yeah!

'I was really, really worried that my dad and my dad's side of the family just wouldn't understand,

'and that they'd kind of not want to know me.'

What do you want?

Just a Fab or a Vimto or something.

-Can we have...?

-Just a lolly ice or whatever.

-..a Twister and an apple Fab, please?

'I don't think that you ever expect'

that your kid's going to come up to you and say that they're not what sex they are.

And when Evan told me that he wasn't Yvonne any more and he was Evan,

and that's how it was going to be...

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

..obviously I had to tell me folks,

and I went to pieces on the phone telling them, like,

I couldn't talk through me own tears.

Been to the football lately?

Last game, last home game of the season.

-What was the score?

-Got beat by Tottenham.

-Oh. OK!

'I completely appreciate that it's a hard thing for them to understand,

'it took me a long time to understand,'

and I was the one going through it, so if I struggled,

then God knows how anyone else is going to find out and handle it.

You used to call me the mascot, cos literally every game we went,

we'd win.

Or most, anyway.

'It's been a long learning process,'

and it still will be a long learning process because, erm...

I'm not really up on medical terms, and all that.

'I'm not saying I fully understand it

'but I will try to fully understand it.'

While Evan is spending time with his dad, Sam has gone back home to Surrey,

where he's meeting up with his older brother Peter, who is gay.

Do you remember when Mummy used to be like, "Why aren't you normal like other children?"

-I don't remember that at all.

-She used to be angry with us and be like, "Why are you just not normal?"

When they were growing up, Peter was close to his little sister,

so it took time to understand that Sam was now his brother.

I think there was an initial feeling of I'd lost my sister

but he is the same person he always was. He's always been that person -

even when we saw him as a girl, he was still Sam inside.

It made perfect sense once I understood that.

Sam wrote to his parents to tell them he wanted to be their son instead of their daughter.

His mum was the first to read the letter.

She came up and said, "Right, Sam.

"So you feel like a boy?" and I said yes,

and we had this conversation for about half an hour,

she was fine with it, really. Obviously I think it's difficult when your child transitions

but she was very, very good with it, very decent about it, and she recognised

that if that's what I need to do in order to feel that I am able to live my life,

then that is what I need to do.

She's been very, very supportive and that's really meant a lot.

My dad sort of found me in the lounge and closed the door and said,

"Right, I've got your letter. I just want to assure you that I love you no matter what,

"and that's the most important thing."

They both think this is how you are. It's not so much of a discussion when it comes up.

They just pretend I was always a man. Which is fine.

Do you remember I used to sit on his lap, like, "Who's your favourite girl?"

And he was like, "You are." And I'd be like, "But who's your favourite boy?"

He was like, "I don't have a favourite boy, I love them all equally."

And that is Samuel's ego!

And that, because obviously I am the favourite, let's remember that.

You're clearly not.

Sam went to an all-girls' school from the age of four, but he felt he didn't fit in.

I just knew that I wasn't a girl,

I didn't realise that I was something else, you know.

If I'd have been to a school with boys, I'd have realised sooner but because I had no other standard

to compare myself to, I just knew that I wasn't a girl,

I didn't realise that I was something else.

He was still attending an all-girls' school

when he began living as a man aged 16.

I basically just looked more and more male, really.

Not everyone at his school accepted the change,

but there was one person who was always there for him - his friend Cat.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-You all right?

Are we doing a sitting down hug?

'It was really important for me to have Cat there because, without her,'

I wouldn't have felt confident enough to tell other people, and to change to male in front of everyone else.

I remember when I told my German teacher, I was like, "Call me Sam" she was like "Warum?"

So basically I had to tell her in German, and she was like, "OK, since when?"

And I was like, "Since forever"!

She was like, "OK then", but that's just the sort of thing she'd do.

-She's quite stand off-ish.

-She's nice, I actually really like her.

-You seem a lot happier now, though.

-Yeah, I am a lot happier.

I think a lot of people have said that. I've still not got that much facial hair.

-There's some there.

-Yeah, but it's bum fluff, you can feel it and it's like nothing.

No, it's kind of bristly.

Starting to live as a man was liberating for Sam.

It felt like for the whole previous part of my life,

I'd been kind of tied up, almost like I wasn't able to breathe,

but I didn't realise that

until people started seeing me as male,

and then suddenly I realised how much freer I felt.

But changing gender came at a price.

95% of my classmates are at university at the moment.

It was pretty much what you did. When people asked what you were doing after school,

they said, "What university are you going to?"

So they were a bit annoyed,

especially cos one of my teachers was really keen on me going to Oxford, but I just couldn't do it.

But instead of going to university, Sam moved into his boyfriend's house on an estate in Rochdale.

He and Evan are usually accepted as young men by the outside world,

but no matter how much they change their appearance,

this is one place where people won't let Evan forget he was born female.

I've lived on this estate for about 12 years.

So because I've lived in the same place for 12 years,

they know me before I transitioned, so the older people know me

and then, because the older people know me,

they tell their younger brothers and sisters, so they know me.

So there's no actually me being me, because they see me as a girl and not as a boy.

They shout at Evan, especially, for being trans.

The couple are desperate to get a place of their own in nearby Manchester,

where no-one will know they used to be girls.

On their way to the bus stop to go flat-hunting,

some of the local kids give them even more of an incentive to move.

They're throwing eggs. I've been egged on four occasions.

'I hate it! Oh, my God. I'm actually terrified of small children, and of people having a go at me.'

I can't deal with it at all, which is why we're moving out.

'It's really hard for me to see Sam so scared when things happen

'when we get shouted at on the estate, because I love him, and it's awful to see someone you love'

feel hurt and scared.

Come here. Don't cry.

Look, man, they're getting pretty close.

-Where the fuck's it coming from?

-That one.

'Prejudice is a big problem.

'There's quite a high suicide rate in transgendered people.'

And the worst thing is when somebody says,

"You will always be a girl to me." Because that's when they're saying, "I will not accept who you are."

And that's when you think, if nobody accepts who I am, then I am not, ie, I'm a sty.

That's basically the thought, why the suicide rate is so high.

There is nowhere to hide, as Sam and Evan face an agonising wait at the bus stop.

It really annoys me that people think they have the right to shout the abuse and do what they do.

It's just a really big relief to get off the estate.

As soon as we move it'll be so much better.

'People should just think twice before they say something or before they throw something,'

just on how it affects the person,

because the person has feelings too,

even if you do think they're a bit of a freak because they were born a girl.

I'm just terrified - I can't cope, I can't cope at all.

Sam and Evan are flat-hunting in Manchester, a very cosmopolitan city with its own gay village.

If they move here, the lads are confident they will not face daily discrimination.

I just want something that has enough space to move about,

because you know loads of studio apartments are actually tiny.

That's nice. So we have to be fussy when we look around.

-That one's a nice kitchen.

-It is a nice kitchen.

Thing is, you never know from the photos, do you?

I think it'll be good, because we can just be men,

we don't have to be trans men.

-Yeah. It'll be our choice, our identity.

-It'll just be us.

Our choice whether we want to be out as trans or get on with life and not bother about it.

You can walk down the road and your neighbours are not going to know anything about your past,

they're not going to have an ideas about what sort of person you're going to be.

-You can be who you are. Do you know what?

-What?

-We'll be able to make a mess!

-What! No, you are not making a mess!

Except it's actually you that makes the mess, remember?

Yeah, I make a mess with clothes, you make a mess when you cook, it goes everywhere!

-So do you!

-No.

-You don't tidy up your dishes, you leave them.

-No.

-Oh, yes, you do!

-Who's been doing the dishes every day this week, apart from yesterday?

-Who's been at work every day? Me!

-Oh, and I've not?

It is a really exciting thing.

-That's our aim. That is our target.

-OK.

-That is our goal, and we shall take steps to get there, yes?

-Yes.

-Yeah.

Evan has been dressing in male clothes for a year now,

and is hoping that doctors will soon prescribe him testosterone.

In preparation for this, Evan has come off the contraceptive pill

and is having to face something no man would normally have to.

I've now had like period from hell, as I've been on for about two and a half weeks now.

On one period, so it's a bit nasty,

especially when you're not supposed to have them.

I find it really weird coming to buy period stuff

because it's something which is associated with female, and I'm not female.

-Would you like a bag for them?

-Yes, please.

'I feel like when I go to buy them, that they're thinking,

'why on earth is a boy buying sanitary towels and Tampax?

'I think it's just a reminder of the body which I was born in,

'which is pretty crap, to be fair.'

But there is light at the end of the tunnel.

At last, Evan has got an appointment with doctors at the Charing Cross Gender Clinic in London

about beginning male hormone treatment.

Sam will be making the trip with him to offer support,

as he knows first-hand that taking male hormones will dramatically change Evan's life.

My periods have stopped, but I haven't noticed,

I just kind of forget I ever had them.

So I forget how it used to be, it's a struggle for me to remember how I used to feel.

The lads arrive in London, but Evan is worried about his meeting

with doctors at the Charing Cross Gender Clinic.

If they feel that I'm ready and I meet all their requirements,

they will place me on testosterone.

I know how I progress physically is in two doctors' hands.

I think when I'm in there and I start being quizzed,

it'll be all right. Because then it's just life,

-you're just talking about yourself.

-Yeah.

Sam knows how crucial this meeting is for Evan,

cos if the doctors aren't convinced that Evan should really be a man,

they will not allow him to begin hormone therapy

to physically change his body from female to male.

An hour later, Evan has some surprising news.

-What have they done?

-Right, well, I might be inter-sexed.

SAM SNORTS What have they done! Oh, my God!

I might have to go for shitloads of tests back in London

to see if I've got a widge somewhere!

-Only you! But have a cuddle.

-OK.

-Why can't you just be normal?

-Shall we get some lunch?

-Lol.

-Why...? LAUGHING

Why can't I just be normal?!

-LAUGHING

-God!

Evan's high testosterone levels could be the result of a condition called polycystic ovaries,

which is a problem women get in their reproductive organs,

or Evan might be inter-sex, which means he may have

some male anatomy hidden inside his body.

Further tests will be needed, but, for now,

Evan must wait even longer before being prescribed male hormones.

I kind of feel like I'm stuck in limbo at the moment.

I'm ready to go through my male puberty and start testosterone

but I can't yet because I've not had the go-ahead.

I think to some extent, yes, he did have his hopes up, erm,

because he thought he was going to be prescribed it on that day.

If I have got polycystic ovary syndrome,

it's once again another reminder that I was born female.

If I'm inter-sexed, it's also really stressful,

but then it's kind of, something about it is quite good

because there's the whole, like, it means that I've got some form

of male-ism inside me, which kind of gives a bit of a reason,

which in some ways may help.

If he was inter-sexed, he would have an "excuse" to be trans

and so they would give him his hormones faster

because then he has a reason for his gender being like that.

Mental, but, yeah, there you go.

I just want to start treatment so I can begin to be me.

Despite Evan's knock-back, he's determined that he wants

to move on with his life.

Sam and Evan need to find full-time jobs

if they're ever going to fulfil their dream of getting a flat in Manchester.

It's fairly difficult to find a job at the moment.

I mean, it's not us alone who are in this boat, really.

It's just a question of keeping trying until we break in there.

I feel when I get turned down from jobs

that it's people doing it because it's me,

because of me being trans, but then I think, is it?

-Am I just paranoid?

-Good luck.

-Hello, is it Evan?

-Yeah.

-Have you got your CV there, son?

Great stuff. I'll take a copy here.

-Have you brought your CV with you?

-I have.

Appreciate your time. Thanks.

You'll need to register on our website.

Really simple, really painless.

And then you need to come in here and bring some ID with you.

Needing ID is a huge problem

because although the lads have both changed their names,

the only formal identification they have is from when they were female.

I can't use female ID because people don't believe it's me.

-All right, thanks very much.

-Bye-bye.

For today, the job search has hit a dead end.

It's two weeks since Evan was told his testosterone levels were abnormally high

which could be as a result of him having cysts on his ovaries.

Today, he's on his way to have a scan

of his female reproductive system.

For Evan, this procedure means he has to face the reality

that underneath his clothes, he has a female body.

'I don't associate my body as being female,

'so I shouldn't have ovaries.'

Hi, I'm Audrey.

'So the thought of having to go and have a scan to see them

'is actually quite upsetting.'

I need you to undo your trousers a little bit

so I can tuck this down.

But things are about to get even more upsetting for Evan.

To be absolutely certain, I would rather we did the internal scan,

because that's the best way to scan

-to get closer to the ovaries, OK?

-Yeah.

So this is the probe.

'She had to do an internal scan,

'which was quite traumatic

'because nothing had ever been up there before'

so technically, it did take away my virginity.

Sam had come along to support Evan,

but now he's finding the experience difficult, too.

-Right, I'm all right.

-Can I come round?

-Yeah.

'Anyone would feel violated a little bit,

'having your bits touched, but when that's such a personal issue to you

'and when you're so sensitive about it...'

-Do you want me to hold your hand?

-That's the right ovary

and there is no sign of polycystic ovaries there.

'I felt bad for him.'

'It was very difficult, but I think having Sam there helped.'

This feels weird.

Evan doesn't have polycystic ovaries

and further tests reveal he isn't inter-sex either.

Doctors think his high testosterone level

was caused by his contraceptive pills.

Now they've got to the bottom of the problem, Evan will soon be

prescribed male hormone therapy.

Starting testosterone is a really big thing

and some of the changes are permanent,

but because I've already been waiting a year

to even get the go ahead to start testosterone,

I know it's correct for me so I know I'm making the right decision.

Finally, the packer Sam ordered on the internet has arrived.

Its function is to pad out Sam's pants to help him pass as male.

Tonight, the lads are planning to make some modifications to Sam's packer

-with their friend Vicky.

-Can we do some DIY on the packer, please?

So how is this going to work?

This is all very theoretical because I haven't done any of this before, erm, so yeah...

We're just going to do a little DIY job and hope for the best, really.

Basically what we're going to do is use a screwdriver,

we're going to heat up the screwdriver really hot

on a gas cooker - that's why we're here -

and then we'll put that through there

and it'll, like, melt a hole through the packer like that.

So, why are you doing this?

OK, basically it's because you know like I can wee standing up

with this? So the idea is just to shove that in and glue it,

so I guess I can put those in there.

That'll just about fit.

OK, so if you take that...

..and heat it up and pass it to me. Yeah, no, we need the whole thing in.

OK, are we ready?

Oh, my God, I don't know if I want to watch!

OK, tap on, tap on!

Hot, boiling hot. Oh, my God! I've gone through it.

-We've broken the packer!

-Yeah, it's come out the back.

But it hasn't come out...

What's happened there?

The right at the edge has come out the back, look.

What we need to do, in fact that may still be hot enough. Yeah, it is.

That is so wrong!

Look at that- it's melted down.

Here is the test, really.

-I think I should be a surgeon.

-Not if you do that to someone's willy!

Stop picking at my willy.

The lads head to their local to celebrate the fact

that Evan can finally start his testosterone treatment tomorrow.

It also gives Sam an ideal opportunity to test if his modified packer works,

but there's a problem.

I could technically use the urinal with the device

I use to pee standing up, but I don't really because I'm a bit pee shy.

Quite a few men are pee shy and don't use urinals.

I dunno, I just feel weird.

It's karaoke night at the pub

and Kath wants Evan to sing for her before the testosterone

makes his voice break.

Evan, will you sing the Titanic song for me, please,

-just one last time?

-Yeah, I will.

'She's always been a really good singer and she's done singing lessons in school,'

she's been in church choirs, she's sang in the Royal Albert Hall,

erm, sings absolutely beautiful. You don't need me to sing.

'My mum's quite upset about me starting testosterone

'because it will eventually make my voice go deeper,

'so I will lose the higher range

'which I can reach now, and I won't be able to do My Heart Will Go On

-'which is one of her favourite songs which she makes me do every time we do karaoke.'

-I'll ask Yvonne!

I suppose when the testosterone comes, the high notes,

it'll start being a bit deep,

but he should still be able to do a few songs,

but it'll be more Neil Diamond rather than...

..you know, Titanic, won't it?

Hello, people, how about a round of applause tonight for Evan!

APPLAUSE

# Every night in my dreams

# I see you

# I feel you... #

'It's going to be weird seeing the changes, but it's going to make him

'feel the person he wants to be.'

It is going to make him feel like a proper man, not just a pretend one, so to speak.

# Near, far

# Wherever you are... #

'I need to do this to be who I am, to be true to myself,

'to be true to my family, and to just be the happy person who I am.'

If I didn't do this, I'd be living a lie.

# Near... #

'I do find it quite difficult to get to grips of it,

'but this is how it is, this is how he wants to be.'

He's happier now than what I've ever known.

Round of applause for Evan!

When you were singing then, the hairs on the back of my neck all stood up,

and it brought a tear to my eye.

-You sung that song for me.

-Yeah, I did.

Just for me and only me, that's who you sung that for, thank you.

It's a momentous day for Evan.

After 15 months of living as a man, he can finally start the long process

of physically changing his body by starting to take male hormones.

My testosterone's different than Sam's because I'm on a gel

because basically I don't like needles so I rub it in

instead of getting injected into my bum.

I'm really, really happy for him, it's great,

but I just think people seem to think that it'll be,

"That's it, everything's finished." No. No...

You've got your foot in the door

and you have to live the rest of your life.

Now that I'm on testosterone and I've got male hormones going through me, I suppose physically

I am now becoming Evan as well as emotionally

and I'm one step closer to being fully Evan.

But while Evan is optimistic about having started his journey

to becoming a man, Evan's mum Kath is struggling to deal with it.

Everyone was, "Oh, you've got your testosterone,"

and I just sort of went quiet because I just like thought,

"This is it now, this is my little girl, my little girl's gone now.

"I've got a boy, you know, there's no turning back."

And I sat there and just cried.

I went into like a mourning,

It was like I was mourning.

I'd lost my little girl and I was in mourning for my little girl.

-What have you come as?

-A princess.

In years gone by,

Kath always enjoyed dressing Yvonne in girlie outfits,

but now she has to accept that her daughter is gone

and all her old clothes need to be thrown away.

Oh-h-h!

Evan, it's hard! This is all your nice stuff.

-You've got female sizes on these!

-Yeah!

Let's get it over and done with.

Oh, you know some of this stuff's really, really nice

-and it's just... It really will be a shame.

-I like that one, that did look nice underneath my vest top.

-Are we getting shot?

-I'm not going to wear it, am I?

All right, let's get them all out.

Ah, Evan, look what I've found!

-Oh, God.

-Look!

-Beautiful.

-What did you wear this for?

-Me prom...

-and Uncle Keith's wedding.

-Put it on.

-I'm not putting it on.

-Go on, stick it over your head.

-Mum!

-Ah, don't you look pretty?!

-Mum, I look like a man in a frock.

It's cos I am a man in a frock.

Now that Sam and Evan are both taking male hormones,

the next step is to have surgery to remove their breasts

and they could have a series of operations to create male genitalia.

Surgically changing their bodies is something the lads are now

considering, so they are meeting Professor Stephen Whittle

who has already completely transformed his body from female to male.

-Hi, I'm Stephen. You must be Sam.

-Yeah.

-Come in.

Stephen began living as a man more than 35 years ago.

When I transitioned in 1975,

I reckon from my research that I was only number 13

of all trans men to get treatment in this country.

-Number 13.

-Wow.

-Now we're talking hundreds of thousands.

So, do you think it's easier nowadays to be out as a trans man

-as opposed to how it was when you first transitioned?

-It has to be said yes, it is.

When I transitioned, in our early years, we could not tell anybody.

If anybody found out, I lost my job,

we'd be threatened with losing our homes, the lot.

We had to fight for everything just to stay alive.

Stephen didn't rush into having a phalloplasty to make him a penis

and wants Sam and Evan to be equally cautious.

How long was it before you had genital surgery?

Oh, a very long time. It was very difficult when I transitioned.

As I say it took me years to get my chest done,

I had a hysterectomy at the same time which was dreadful.

I then waited time before I even considered phalloplasty

and it was...

It was a difficult decision and for me...

..waiting the 25 years was...

I think, you know, very beneficial. By the time I went,

I knew full well what the choices were and I'd learnt about it, but I still would say

that I wasn't actually prepared...

for the impact on my life.

It was extensive, it was several surgeries,

it was EXTREMELY painful at times -

I certainly had tears in my eyes on more than one occasion.

I'm very pleased with the result for me,

but it's not 100% perfect,

-and I could never take off my clothes and pretend it hadn't happened.

-Mmm.

I haven't got a perfect body,

life isn't perfect,

but it's damn well good enough and thoroughly enjoyable

in every sense, and I've done the right things for me.

What's important for you

is to take the time so that you know that when you go for anything

that it's the right thing for you,

and that you're fully prepared for all results.

Be proud of yourselves, be proud of what you're going to achieve.

This is a huge thing that you're going to achieve, be proud of being the man you are

-as a new person.

-'Meeting Stephen Whittle was really cool

'He's not just a transgendered man like me,'

he's a transgendered man who's 30 years further along the process than me.

I think Sam was particularly impressed by his beard.

-You're just jealous, that's what it is.

-I'm not. I don't want one.

-You do, because you shaved the other day.

-Because...

-You wanted facial hair. You wanted to see...

-No.

-You did.

-I just shaved because I was bored.

-You're jealous.

-Jealous of your three measly hairs?

-Yes, yes, you are, actually.

Evan is busy getting ready for his 21st birthday party.

-Are you excited?

-Yeah, it should be good.

-What do you mean, "should be good"?

-Well, it will be good then!

'21 is a really big birthday,

'and with my family, any excuse for a party'

they'll have a party, but 21 is a proper excuse to have a party.

But this birthday has even more significance

for Evan and his family.

-What's that you've got there?

-It's a banner that we made for...

Ah, let's have a look.

-It's massive.

-Oh, wow!

-Everyone's signed it.

-That's really good.

-That's brilliant!

-Even the dog's stood on it.

It's got the dog's paw print!

I think it might just fit in between the speakers across the bar.

It proves they love me!

'It's a big birthday for him, 21st, and male,

'and on testosterone, and I think it'll help the family'

you know, sort of...

Well, they've accepted it, but, you know...

just to get everybody together just to celebrate.

This is Evan, this is my son, and my son is 21.

Oh, that looks nice, doesn't it? Be careful now.

-Have we got a red one, no?

-You what?

-Have you got a red one?

-Blue for a boy!

-SHE LAUGHS

We were going to have a massive picture of her - of HIM -

in his prom dress there, and then him now and put before and after!

-Terrible.

-I'm not even going to say anything.

The last time we got everyone together it was my 18th birthday, and it was at my nan's house.

I was Evan to my mum's side of the family, but to my dad's side

I was still Yvonne, so it was quite amusing,

getting cards with some saying Evan and some saying Yvonne and the family were like, "What?"

It's the first time with Evan and I so far

-I've not had any cards with the wrong name which is a really big positive.

-Keep everything nice.

'It's a very important thing for me to blow these candles out as Evan,

'just because it's not been done before with my whole family.'

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-HE LAUGHS

-All in one!

'Having testosterone just before my birthday

'has made my birthday more happier,

'and I'm celebrating being me as well as being 21.'

'Tonight's gone better than what I expected.

'I was a bit apprehensive to be honest

'because I was worried about who was going to turn up, who wasn't,'

but the whole family's come together and his friends have come up

to celebrate his 21st, you know, as a man.

'The fact that everyone who I invited turned up'

and all accepted me as Evan, it's made me feel so much better.

A few weeks later, the couple's dream of getting a place together in Manchester

seems one step closer.

I'm working full time now instead of part time.

My job role has also changed a bit so I'm working more with clients.

It's more interesting.

And after searching for a job for more than a year,

Evan also has some good news.

Welcome to the Co-Operative Insurance, you're speaking to Evan. Can I take your name?

I've just got a new job, I'm working for the Co-Operative Insurance and it's really, really good.

'Everyone's so lovely and everyone's been so accommodating

'in everything. My confidence levels have just soared,'

so it's really good, really positive.

And it's about time, too!

'When I started, I told them I was transitioning from female to male

'and I met with my manager.'

They asked if there was anything they needed to do or be aware of,

and the fact that they asked just made you think,

"Actually, this company do care, and actually,

"I'm in the right place for me, to be accepted and to be able to do my job to the best of my ability,"

so it's been really good.

OK, have you receive documents in the post?

Life has dramatically changed for the young couple since they met,

fell in love and moved in together over a year ago.

'You do sort of stop being a child

'and start behaving like an adult and being a lot more independent

'so in that respect it's sort of been like a transition from boy to man.'

'What was important to me a year and a half ago

'has really changed now, actually.'

I'm much more focused on where I'm going in my life, what I want to do,

the future, as opposed to back then when I was so focused on being able to pass as male.

Urgh, what is in this?

-I can understand peas and carrots. Is that pasta?!

-Yes.

'But because that's all behind me now,

'I can finally get on with what I want to do in my life.'

I know that I'm Sam, I'm a man and that's what makes me happy.

'Things weren't easy last year and there'll always be

'someone there who doesn't like it and will be nasty and mean.'

However, to have acceptance from your friends, your family...

..and myself is the most important thing ever.

-Here you go.

-Oh, tea! What have we got?

I never expected to see my daughter change, you know, into a man,

but he's happier now than what I've ever known.

They're just brill, the pair of them are just brill.

It's great to have Sam in my life

and to be going through the same things as me,

but what's better is just having someone who loves me for being me

and to just be happy and be together.

It's just nice to have someone who loves you, basically.

-I love you.

-I love you, too.

-Go to sleep now. OK?

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