Small Teen Turns Eighteen

'I'm Jazz and I'm going to turn 18 soon.'

I'd love to wear a corset, yeah.

-'This is my mum, Bev.'

-Hello!

-'And my dad Paul.'

-You look like a horse!

'Last year, we were happy.

'But now my family has been blown apart,

'because I discovered Dad had started taking heroin again.

'I remember just feeling completely numb. I lost all respect for him.'

I don't know whether she's ever going to trust me again.

Or whether she's ever going to speak to me again.

'Now Dad will have to face his demons

'as he heads into detox.'

I'm absolutely petrified.

I feel sick.

It's the unknown to me, you know what I mean?

'But Dad's been addicted to drugs for my whole life,

'so will he be able to get clean?

Nice one, mate, thanks a lot.

'And will I be able to re-build a relationship with him?'

He loves being a dad, but he loves drugs as well.

That's what's really hard.

'But not all my decisions are life-changing ones.

'I have my 18th birthday to plan.'

-These are all yours, aren't they, love?

-Yes.

-Right, there you go.

Hope so!

'Just hoping my mum doesn't embarrass me...'

'That's it.'

I've seen the light. I'm having a boob job.

'This is the latest chapter of my story.

'It's time for me to become a woman.

'This is me when I was two.

-'That's my mum, Bev.'

-Wave, Jazz.

'Back then, I thought I was the same as all the other toddlers.'

-Jasmine, do you understand?

-No.

-Be a good girl.

-Yes.

'But I was different.

'As I got older, everyone, except Mum,

'got taller, whilst I stayed small.

'By the time I was in secondary school, I knew

'I'd never be taller than four foot.'

Oh, my God.

'Now, I'm fast becoming an adult.

'Although I'm only 17, I've already left home and live at college

'where I study animal welfare. I may be small,

'but I'm just like any other teenager

'and the way I look is becoming more and more important.

'I try to look my best 24/7,

'even just for a lesson about the anatomy of a pig's trotter.'

My mum always says that the animals don't care

if you've done your hair or your make-up,

so it's funny why we still make an effort.

-It's because we're girls.

-Yeah.

We might as well look good, if we're doing pretty grim jobs.

'e are all obsessed with looking good.'

Oh, my hair's going to get ruined! Frizzy hair!

'Being the size of an eight-year-old,

'means finding a pair of killer heels to fit me is not easy.

'It's really hard to go round all the shops

'and see these gorgeous shoes'

and it's not even a possibility.

I can just see you in them.

That is so you, isn't it?

It's incredibly difficult to get age-appropriate shoes,

for both me, in my mid-40s, and Jazz, in her late teens.

Walking around in a pair of cartoon shoes, that light up when you walk,

just ain't the look we're looking for.

Type in something like

shoes for little people that are fantastic

-and will make us feel great in our dresses.

-Right.

Type that in and see what comes up.

Why don't we say shoes in small sizes? Maybe that'll work.

All right. That's Plan A.

If I could get two pairs of heels, like really nice...

Big high ones that you could walk in

-and it wouldn't matter how much it hurt.

-No.

-In fact, the more uncomfortable the better.

-Yeah.

It's the fact that it makes you feel great

and that's what's important.

The feeling that you get, the feeling of being a woman

and not a kid, at the end of the day, because I'm nearly 18 now.

Oh, my God!

So, I want that feeling.

Something that will make my daughter's dream come true.

When I was growing up, I went for months and months

and there was just none for me

and in a way, it spoilt my teenage years,

because I couldn't get the clothes or the shoes,

so I lost my confidence, believe it or not.

-I was quiet and shy. Can you believe that?

-No.

What's this site?

This looks good.

This looks good.

Oh, my goodness! They won't be in our size.

-I'm a 13, you're a 12. Oh, my God!

-32.

That's size 13.

You're joking?

Look at them!

Oh, my God!

Look at them, they're gorgeous!

They're pink.

Hot pink.

-Oh, look at that!

-Oh, the purple ones!

Order, order, order, order!

'It only took a week for the shoes to arrive,

'but it felt like one of the longest weeks of my life.'

Have the shoes come? Oh, brilliant. Oh!

-Oh, my goodness.

-What?

I think I can see that shape and the height.

I'm going to be like that, walking round, like that, going...

"Who the bloody hell has sized these?"

Oh, they're gorgeous.

They are gorgeous.

-I don't even want to try them on.

-I think you're going to fit you.

-Why are you getting nervous, Jazz?

-Cos I don't think they'll fit.

We've had so many... We've been to so many shops and places.

-Yeah, we have.

-And they've all let us down. Oh, my God.

-Oh, my goodness. They look too big, though.

-Mmm.

I can tell they're too... they're big.

They're stunning, though.

-Oh, my Lord.

-They fit you, don't they?

-Oh, they don't even look like too big.

-They look perfect.

-Right, catwalk, come on.

-Oh, Nana's going to be thrilled.

-Oh, I love that clonking noise.

-That noise.

-That clonking noise!

Oh, my God. Mum, they fit. Mum, they fit!

Oh, my God, I'm going to have my victory dance.

It doesn't mean a lot to most people,

cos they can just go to the shop and get some,

and it's like they don't think about it or, you know,

a lot of girls go, "Oh, you don't want high heels, they really hurt."

And it's like, "Yes, I do."

You always want something that you can't quite have,

and now it's like I've just got them.

Love you, I love you so much. You've made me so happy.

'Today, I've come to Manchester with Rosie and Becky

'to find the perfect outfit for my coming-of-age party.'

What is that?!

'Because this year I'm having a party with a difference.'

I've decided that I want a fancy dress party.

Go as a tiger, Becky!

No theme, just turn up in the most creative thing possible.

Buy some nipple tassels!

So, I need to pick a fancy dress outfit,

which is going to be difficult.

-Oh, look, guys, what do you think of this?

-That's really nice.

That'll go nice.

I think I'm going more Moulin Rouge themed.

It's going to be really hard for me

to find something that I'm going to good in and grown-up and 18.

That's a gorgeous colour. Isn't it?

So I'm a bit worried that I'm not going to find anything,

or that it's not going to fit.

Wow, look at those shoes. Wow! I wish I could just try everything on.

'Although I'll soon be 18,

'I can often only buy clothes for preteens.'

'But here in Manchester,

'I found a shop where I can get a Moulin Rouge inspired outfit

'especially made for me.'

Let's measure your boobs, babe, here we go. Give us your boobs.

-Right, then. These are all yours, aren't they, love?

-Yes.

Right, there you go.

-I hope so!

-I'll do it a bit low cut for you,

shows your boobs off a bit more, yeah?

-OK.

-Well, you've got to look sassy,

you've got to be the belle of the ball.

-So we take it a bit low on your boobs.

-Brilliant, wow!

-How's that, is that OK?

-Oh, I'm so excited.

-I'm so excited.

-OK?

-Yes.

'Turning 18 is a milestone for anyone.

'But my life really has changed over the past year.'

ALL: Surprise!

'Looking back, I now realise just how special my 17th birthday was.'

I'm here for your birthday, and I'll be here forever. Love you loads.

'It was the first one my dad had been part of.'

My dad's here and it's all so much more settled.

It's brilliant doing something like this for her,

cos I didn't think I'd ever be doing anything with her,

cos I didn't know that I'd ever see her again.

Just after I was born, Mum found out Dad had become addicted to drugs

and was taking heroin.

She gave him the choice - drugs or me.

He was unable to kick the habit,

so Mum asked him to stay out of our lives.

Last year, Mum and I were reunited with Dad.

He'd stopped taking heroin and was on a methadone programme,

so we let him be part of our family again.

'At first, we all got on really well.

'My mum and dad became like an old married couple.

'Or a couple of kids.'

-What is that?

-It's aftershave balm.

Oh! Oh, I see!

You think there might be a few women there,

and you're going all tarted up with your... Thank you(!)

Back then, we were a happy family.

But that all changed when I found out my dad was taking heroin again.

My world collapsed.

'Heroin is evil,'

and it destroys lives.

And it not only destroys that person's life,

who's taken it, but it destroys everyone's lives around them.

I feel like somebody's died.

You know, part of me's died inside.

Part of Jasmine has.

'Me taking heroin again has knocked all the trust that I've built up'

over the past 12 months, it's knocked all the trust, that's gone.

And, you know, I don't know whether she's ever going to trust me again,

or whether she's ever going to speak to me again.

I just hope she will.

Finding out Dad had relapsed devastated all of us.

I'd always told him if he ever did heroin again,

he would be out of my life forever.

'The problem is, Mum has spent almost every day of the past year

'with my dad, and doesn't know if she can cope without him.'

For now, I don't want to speak to him or see him,

because I want to stick to what I said.

-Otherwise he'll never listen to me...

-He won't change then, will he?

Is your mum still seeing and speaking to your dad?

Erm... Yeah.

But that's fine, because that's up to her, and it's her life

and I don't want to say, "Well, if I don't see him, you don't see him."

You know, it's entirely up to her.

I understand why Mum still sees him,

because she has become totally reliant on him and his help,

and him doing things around the house

and being out shopping with her,

and, you know, they do get along really well.

Mum has always said that if he makes a mistake,

he makes a mistake, you know.

But I just don't want to see him and I'm sticking to my promise.

'My grandad is one man who has never let me down.

'But he and Nana are in America, visiting my auntie.

'So it's even harder for me to deal with it all.

'Mum is finding it really difficult too.'

I don't want it to be a great weight on her shoulders.

He's got to sort himself out.

I just need to know where I sit with it all.

You know, cos I feel as though I'm in two camps at the moment.

I can see, as an adult, you know,

I'm 47, and I can see, you know,

that we're all human.

'I've been with Bev every day for the past year.

'And now I'm not there,'

I've got an empty feeling.

Some of us are lucky enough

to have lots of family and friends around us,

to keep and sustain us and love us enough

that we don't make huge mistakes and we don't do lots of damaging things

to ourselves.

And Paul doesn't have that many strategies to cope with

when things are going wrong.

'Mum still seeing Dad and me not wanting to has made living at home

'very difficult.

'Everything is so confusing.

'So Mum and I have decided I should join Nan and Grandad in America

'to get away from it all.

'Mum's going to try and support Dad as he waits to go into detox.'

-I'll miss you.

-Love you.

-You too.

-Safe journey, yeah?

-I've got to go.

I know. I know you've got to go.

-You've got to go and live your life.

-Yep.

"Woo-hoo! I'm going to New York!"

Try and, er... I think I might need some assistance at the airport.

LAUGHTER

The case is bigger than you!

'I don't want her to put her trust in him again,

'cos she'll only get hurt.'

But I'm a bit more tough and robust

and I've had upsets and disappointments all my life.

As an adult, you know, and as child.

-Bye.

-Bye, I love you.

'She's only 17,'

and I just want her to concentrate on what she wants to do,

and not what a member of her family is doing, you know.

'I feel quite bad that I'm leaving her here to sort it all out.'

See you, Mum.

Love you.

'But she needs to understand that I need a break,

'and if I don't have a break, I'm going to start getting really down

'because it's too much to think about.

'But I'm going to miss her a lot.'

The fact that Jazz is ashamed of me, it...it...

It hurts.

I'm gutted by it.

You know, I didn't...

..ever want to let her down again.

I want to go into detox, so I can win everybody's trust back.

And I'm not going to fail. I'm not.

It don't matter how bad I feel or... how much it hurts coming off it.

I'm not going to fail.

Naomi, can you see her yet?

In America, Auntie Shelley, my cousins,

Nana and, of course, Grandad, are all waiting for me to arrive.

You can imagine all of us are excited but the two girls particularly.

What can you see?

Naomi kept running to the postbox at the bottom of the garden,

looking up the street for a taxi.

Sarah kept shouting, "It will be a yellow one, you know, from New York!"

-Taxi's here!

-Taxi's here! Come on! Woo!

-Hello.

-Woo-hoo!

I'm finally here.

You all right?

You're here!

I'm so jealous of all your tans!

I haven't got one.

The bond between Jazz and myself is unbreakable.

She said, "I've missed you very, very much, Grandad."

Love you.

You all right?

Her father hasn't quite worked the way we all hoped it would.

From here on in, the way forward as a family

is going to be quite difficult and traumatic.

We don't know whether the rehab will work.

It's very difficult situation.

And...she's away from that for a month, that's the important thing.

She'll go back refreshed with different thoughts, different ideas.

Lovely.

Thank you very much.

Oh, my God, what's she got in there?!

But whilst I settle into my auntie and uncle's home,

back in Wales my dad is in a terrible state.

Because he's about to undertake the biggest challenge of his life.

Detox.

I'm absolutely petrified. I feel sick.

It's the unknown to me, you know what I mean?

I have rough before.

This is going to be weeks.

Oh, God, what's it going to be like?

I'm going to be here

and I'm going to be going through the worst thing I've ever had to do.

-Hello, Paul, pleased to meet you.

-Hi, mate.

-My name's Simon.

-All right, Simon.

-Would you like to come this way?

-Yeah.

It's absolutely normal to be nervous

but there's a good crowd in and there's some very good staff.

-We are going to look after you.

-Right, that's fantastic.

-We are going to go into room four, OK?

-Yeah.

Come in, Paul.

-Brilliant room.

-Do you like it?

-Yeah.

And if you have a little look out here...

we have wildlife, lots of rabbits and squirrels and the odd fox.

I love animals, I absolutely... My favourite pastime is fishing.

-Really?

-I love fish as well.

-You do like to fish?

-Yeah.

-There's plenty of fish in that pond.

-Brilliant.

-But you won't be hooking any of them.

-No, no.

Is there anything you'd like to ask me, Paul?

I'm allowed to keep my phone with me, aren't I?

-You are allowed to keep your mobile phone.

-Right, brilliant.

Because it will help me to be speaking to my family

when I'm feeling at my worst.

-You're absolutely right.

-That will be the best support that I can have.

Whenever you are feeling a low or weakest ebb, talking to anybody,

a family member or friend, is very important and it does help.

That's fantastic. Yeah, that's what I need to hear.

Dad is facing his demons alone.

Now I'm in America, I just want to forget everything

that's going on back in Wales.

I just feel relaxed and happy and free.

We're talking about all the things we're going to be doing,

it's so exciting.

Oh, yeah.

Straightaway I'm part of the family.

They just make me feel really happy and welcome.

-Oh, yeah.

-Oh, yeah.

This stinks!

-Egg salad sandwich. You want chicken fingers?

-Yes, please.

Even though I've only been here a few hours,

I already feel so much better and I feel happy and really relaxed,

like I don't have to worry about anything.

And I've got nothing to think about.

Dad has been admitted for a three-week detox,

during which they will gradually reduce his methadone

until he's completely clean.

I've got some washing I need to do as well.

I'm so glad that they're not going to take my phone off me.

I know I messed up by using, but I didn't do it to set out to hurt her.

You know what I mean?

Because I love her.

So, you know, I don't know whether she'll...

trust if I say to her, "I'm never going to take drugs again."

I don't know if she'll believe it.

But I'm just hoping we can be friends again

because we were, like, friends as well as me being her dad.

We used to laugh a lot and that.

That's what I want to get back, you know what I mean?

Cos I'd hate it if she never spoke to me again ever.

It would be awful.

Don't!

Auntie Shelley is mum's younger sister.

This is her wedding day, 21 years ago.

That's my mum and that's my dad.

At the time they were very much in love,

and I was just a twinkle in their eyes.

Oh, these look so delicious.

I want to talk to my auntie about how I'm feeling,

because she's known Mum and Dad for so long.

I know, me too.

The last few weeks I've been thinking in terms of myself

and what's best for me, and it's not, it's about all of us.

What would happen if it carried on like this, this yo-yo where,

you know, one minute he's on drugs, the next minute he's off it

and then he goes and has a relapse and then he's off it?

Do you think you'd be able to cope with that and accept him like that?

No.

I could not cope another day with thinking, "Is he on drugs?

"Is he on drugs?"

I'm not walking around on my tip toes thinking,

"Am I going to find something any minute?

I cannot cope with that.

Do you think that your mum should give him up altogether?

No. Erm...

Me and my mum are very different.

And the things we accept and things we don't very different.

My mum needs someone to support her, you know,

and when I'm not there, it needs to be somebody

and Dad does a really good job.

No matter what I've said about him, no matter what he's done,

he looks after Mum really well.

You know, he will do whatever she asks

and they actually get along really well

and they sit and watch movies together, you know,

and they've got such a lot in common.

I can't dictate to my mum who she sees and who she doesn't.

I'm not angry with her if she still wants to still see him

as long as I don't have to see him, then that's fine.

I don't want her to end up on her own.

-Do you?

-No, and to be honest,

I think they're the only two

that are ever going to put up with each other.

I mean... really?

It's unfortunate that stuff that he's got going on, is...

it's really crappy, it really is.

But it's his stuff and he's not doing it to upset anybody.

-It's his own personal stuff.

-I know that.

I don't even think he can help it.

He loves me and he loves his other kids

and he loves being a dad but he loves drugs as well

and that's what's really hard.

The thing that relaxed me most about what Shelley said

was she understood how I was feeling

and all the things she was saying

was exactly how I felt and I know she understands

what's going on and she empathises with me

rather than feels sorry for me

and I just feel like she does want me here,

not just cos she feels sorry for me.

At the detox clinic in Wales,

my dad's counsellor is filming him every few days

to keep a check on how he's doing.

-'How are you feeling today, Paul?'

-Fine, fine.

I've been feeling a lot better since I seen the doctor.

He's reassured me that I'll be getting help through the worst of it.

Go!

' found it a bit rough this morning, at about seven o'clock,'

and I didn't sleep very well.

I had about an hour, hour and a half's kip.

I don't know why, because I had medication,

but I just couldn't get to sleep.

'I nearly gave up last night.'

I couldn't cope with it.

But, you know, I just check things, you know,

what I'll lose if I don't stay, so that made me stay.

If I can't do a few hours whilst I'm waiting for medication,

then how am I going to do it for proper...you know?

As the days pass,

I start to believe that Dad IS going to get off methadone

and be totally drug-free for the first time since I was born.

But just as I arrive home in Wales,

I find out Dad has walked out of the detox unit

and returned to Manchester.

If only he'd been able to stick it out for a few more days

he'd have been totally clean of methadone,

but he just couldn't cope without drugs in his life.

It was rough.

It was worse than I thought, really, it was worse than I thought.

I was on 40mls a day when I went in

and then they reduced me 5mls every other day until I got to 20

and then when I got to 20, they reduced me by 2mls a day,

so I got down to 4mls by the time I'd left.

You know, I'm still feeling a bit ill but not as bad as I was.

I did feel really let down and I did feel quite shocked.

I thought he'd last longer but for him just to walk out

and not try or finish, I'm a bit disappointed.

I thought I wouldn't care but, you know, I do and it's disappointing.

'Now Dad was living back in Manchester,

'I thought I would feel a sense of relief

'and I would be able to get on with my life without thinking about him.'

That's everything.

'How wrong I was.'

I thought because I'd lived 16 years without him

that when it came round to him leaving my life again,

I thought it would be the same but it was really different because

I knew who he was and I really loved him and I really cared about him.

It's a week since my Dad walked out of detox.

I've just found out on Facebook that he's gone missing.

He left his home in Manchester two days ago and hasn't been seen since.

I'm struggling to concentrate at college

as all I can think about is my dad.

I'm really worried he might have gone back on to hard drugs

and accidentally overdosed.

I didn't want to be worried, but I was.

I didn't want to care, but I did.

It was really difficult because I was completely torn.

I just wanted to say, "You know what? I'm not bothered.

"You go and live your life, whatever you want, whatever you're doing,

"I'm not bothered," but I wanted to know that he was safe.

Dad's been missing for two weeks now.

When I was a baby, he was homeless...

Spare any change, please?

..so maybe he's living rough again.

I'm walking the streets of Manchester,

looking for him in the places he used to hang out.

Phoenix Futures is a charity that works with drug addicts.

Maybe they'll know where my dad is.

My dad did three weeks in detox but now he's just checked himself out

and he's on the streets of Manchester

and we don't know where he is or what he's doing

and I'm extremely worried about him

and I'm hoping he's not gone back onto drugs,

because he was doing really well.

I don't want him to think that no matter what he does now,

I'll never see him again.

I want just to let him know that I'll always be here for him,

if he ever decides to come clean.

Sorry...

After total silence for three long weeks,

Dad suddenly got back in touch with a relative in Manchester.

I'm relieved he's OK, but really angry

that he could put me and the rest of the family

through the worry of not knowing if he was dead or alive.

This is the final straw.

I'm going to live my life without him

unless one day, he can prove he's totally clean.

I can support him through this -

I'm not strong enough, I'm not wise enough.

He needs professionals and it is a well-known fact

that most people fail the first time

and have to try one or two more times to completely get off drugs,

so I understand that but I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed

and just let him know that I believe in him,

but I'm not going to be there to support him.

So, once again, it's just me and Mum.

'I'm determined not to let what's happened with my dad

'ruin my 18th birthday.

'There's only one week to go and still so much to do.'

-Wow! There's a lot to choose from.

-Just a few.

-Yes.

-Do you like any particular colour?

-I'm thinking dark pinks and blacks.

My mum has decided that I'm now an adult

and she's not organising it for me which I'm quite excited about

because I've never organised my own party before.

Oh, that is very nice. That is very nice.

-I'm thinking pink for the girls, black for the boys.

-OK.

So then everyone's happy.

It's not even like it's just a regular birthday,

it's my 18th, which is one of the biggest.

-So that'd be your 18...

-Yeah.

-..with white all over.

And then those two colours.

-I'm liking that, yeah. I really like that.

-No problem.

-Brilliant.

The best thing about me organising my own party is no surprises.

Hopefully.

I've got so many worries for the night.

I mean, I'm worried that no-one's going to turn up,

I'm worried that the DJ's not going to arrive,

I'm just worried in general

so I think as long as the decorations are nice...

You don't have to worry about the balloons, decorations are all sorted.

-Thank you. One less worry for me.

-No problem at all.

-You just have to have fun now.

-Yes, thank you so much.

-No problem.

-Thank you, bye.

-All right, bye.

Just one more sleep before my birthday

and I'm hoping to get an early night

but there's just too much running through my mind.

I miss you so much. I miss you.

The difference with this birthday is

I'll officially be classed as an adult.

It's quite a scary prospect that I'm have growing up

and that things are going to change

and I've got to start thinking about moving out properly

and getting a proper full-time job

and there's no more coming home crying to Mummy.

I know that I'll always be able to,

but it's kind of, I feel I have to be even more responsible,

which is scary. I kind of want to grow down and be a kid again!

Yeah.

I can't believe I'm 18.

I'm in a mad rush to get ready,

because my party starts just four hours from now.

Thankfully, my friends Rosie and Becky are here to keep me calm.

Shall I have it like this, or shall I have Egyptian ones?

Like that, because you're going to be wearing a mask, aren't you?

Maybe. I don't know. We'll see.

-Just try and keep it as simple as possible.

-Yeah, like that.

My grandad and Uncle Gary have promised to decorate the pub

where I'm having my party.

-Are we sorted?

-Yeah.

Good. Right. Now, don't disturb it because you know what she's like.

It's been washed, ironed.

I know, I got threatened. Don't fold it up bad, or don't pull it.

All that washing and ironing she did.

No creasing, otherwise mother will be very upset.

70mph gales, she said. Don't crease it. Know what I mean?

You do that one end and try and keep it straight.

You need to just take that down a bit there, Dad.

Can you imagine all these drivers saying,

"What are them twerps doing in this gale?"

At least it's not raining.

No.

Hey, the trouble with this is my stars are missing off the bottom.

Oh, well.

All that effort I made to put stars on it.

As long as it says the name on the front, it doesn't matter.

-No.

-Right, let's get your end on.

-I think we've got there, haven't we?

-Just about.

I'll go across the road. Right, here we go.

-Take your time, though.

-Yeah, I will.

You're driving later, remember? It's my turn for a sherbet.

Can you see that?

Can you see that all right?

-Yes, he can see it.

-Just a bit further back.

A bit further, round about Chester services.

Off the end of the pier, do you mean?

Drop that end a bit.

Down a bit on that side, Gaz.

There you are. I'll get a piccy of it.

There we go.

Oh, that's a beauty, that.

Well, well, well.

18 years. Heavens above.

It's gone so quick. It seems like yesterday she was born.

Having to change her nappy and feed her every day in the incubator.

-She's all right now.

-Good girl!

She's just started sitting up.

Seven months in the incubator. It seems ages.

But she was worth every minute.

Oh, no. No fighting.

She's fighting it now.

Come on. Come on, precious.

A wonderful 18 years of extra life.

Brilliant.

Oh, that's brilliant, Gaz!

Fine.

MUSIC: "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5

# You wanted control

# So we waited

# I put on a show

# Now I make it

# You say I'm a kid

# My ego is big

# I don't give a shit

# And it goes like this. #

I'm thinking of going like this. What do you reckon? Nice?

Yeah.

Loving it.

# You want the moves like Jagger

# I've got the moves like Jagger

# I've got the moves

# Like Jagger. #

I'll tell you what, it seems only like yesterday

since I was mopping her sick up when she was on her milk.

You'll be doing that later!

I'll be doing that tomorrow morning, once she gets drunk!

Now there's only three hours left before my party starts,

and as yet I haven't even opened,

let alone tried on my specially-made Moulin Rouge-themed outfit.

Right, girls.

My hair's nearly done, then it'll be time to try the dress on.

-Are you nervous?

-I'm petrified.

-I'm sure you'll look stunning.

-Yeah.

I hope it's going to fit.

It will do.

Because I got nothing else to wear.

It should fit. She measured you, so it should be OK.

-Come on, we want to see it.

-Go!

Oooh!

Please, please, please, please fit.

What are we going to do if it doesn't fit?

Cry. I don't know. She's going to be so upset.

I know.

I think we should have a drink. Calm us down.

Oh, aye.

Oh-ho!

While I'm busy getting ready, I'm hoping my grandad

and Uncle Gary are coping with decorating the party room.

Cleaning time.

-Cleaning? Oh, my God!

-Cleaning mirrors.

Nobody mentioned anything about that.

That's why you're here.

Have you just got one cloth?

Erm, yeah, just one.

Looks like it's yours, then!

Eh?

This is something you should have brought Marge down for, really,

-shouldn't you?

-Oh, no chance of that.

It takes an hour to do their hair alone,

never mind the lippy and all of that stuff.

-Oh, you missed a bit, missed a bit!

-Oh, my.

-Marge will notice!

-Sorry about that.

What I do for that girl!

Unbelievable!

She's taking forever.

I know.

Don't know if that's a good thing.

Maybe she's nervous about coming to show us.

Mmm. Don't know.

If it was me, I'd be excited to come out and show everyone.

Yeah.

But if she's not liking it, or there's something wrong with it.

-I just wish she'd hurry up.

-I know.

It fits!

Oh, my God!

That looks stunning!

Eeee!

I'm so happy!

Woah, you look gorgeous!

Thank you!

Oh, my God! Come and give me a hug.

You look absolutely amazing.

You do.

I can't believe it. She looks amazing.

I feel so good.

BOTH: You look good!

Why are you crying?

I'm just so happy, because I've worked myself up,

thinking it's not going to fit, or I'm going to look horrible,

and I actually look quite good.

Oh, my God!

I want to show my mum.

-Jazz. >

-Yeah?

Can I have a look what you look like? >

Come in.

I cried, don't worry.

Turn around.

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

-You look gorgeous.

-You really do.

I'm going to ruin my make-up.

I can't believe it. You look beautiful. Oh, my God.

I'm going like this. Can't be arsed, now. Not even going.

Forget it. Why can't I look like that?

You can with a corset!

Can you imagine what I'll be like if you get married?

SHE CRIES

Turn around again.

Everyone wants to stare at my bum!

It's the belt.

It's everything. You're a very, very stunningly beautiful young woman.

Thank you.

I can walk out like a penguin. I don't care, though!

No, don't walk out like a penguin. It's not sexy.

Don't be so conscious that you look gorgeous.

-I am, though.

-What, that you look gorgeous?

-No.

There's no shame in looking fantastic.

At 18, I couldn't walk into a room

and have had the confidence that she has to walk round looking like that.

I don't think I'd ever look that good. Anyway, lovely.

She's like a model, like a mini model,

and to see her in adult shoes and adult clothes

and looking sexy and gorgeous, and knowing it, she knows it.

You know, I didn't have that, and I still don't have it.

Which do we think?

-I'd say the rounder one.

-Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you, girlies. That's why I need you here.

She walked out the house tonight thinking, "Oh, look."

You know, you look in the mirror and think, "Oh, check this out."

Need to be losing weight.

I need to lose two stone.

I need to look like she does.

I need to dye my hair red.

Get a basque. She can't outdo me. I look terrible.

Can anyone tell me an enema? Botox?

Oh, I think they've shut.

That address has shut.

Ready.

Come in.

I'm just doing a bit of exercise.

What do you reckon?

You look, yeah...

I mean, when I was your age,

I could have been a model!

You look absolutely...

The dog's dinner. Do they say that?

And you two complement her so much, because you're all in blacks.

You should really go out afterwards. You would just kill.

Can you imagine walking in? All the blokes would go.

Wouldn't they? They'd all be like...

I want to go out afterwards. I want to go clubbing!

You should! Why don't you?

On my own.

I'll come with you!

Right. Taxi awaits. Come on.

I'm coming with you! Jazz, shall I come clubbing with you?

No?

Oh, it's windy!

-Oh, my hair! My skirt!

-See you later, bye.

Bye. Have a nice time.

I'll stay here and clean up, then.

See you at the club, Jazz.

Come on, Jazz.

You're allowed to be late for your wedding, but not your birthday.

My grandad has overheard my plans for a party outfit,

and I think he's a little bit worried about me

wearing things like that, because he's, you know,

he's very proud of me, and he's very, very protective of me,

and I think he's a bit worried that I'll be in a pub full of people,

and being vulnerable, and all that kind of thing,

which is quite sweet of him.

Oh, dear. I'm going to get a shock here, apparently.

Just because she's 18, she thinks she can do what she wants.

Know what I mean?

But I'm trying to be independent and grown up,

and I won't let that stop me.

I won't let anyone stop me wearing what I want,

so he'll just have to deal with it, won't he?

I'd been geed up to wonder what it was, because I was told basque.

He wouldn't know what one was.

And I thought, "Oh, my God!

I think it's one of those, you know these bordellos in America,

you know, and like a waistline with sort of a knicker-type thing,

you know what I mean?

I was dreading it, so I thought "Oh, dear, oh dear!"

KNOCK AT DOOR

Congratulations!

Hello!

When she walked in, I was absolutely astonished.

Fabulous. She is fabulous.

Magnificent, absolutely magnificent.

Fabulous.

Oh, my God. That is just fabulous.

Now it's Nana's turn to see me all grown up.

Oh, my God!

Don't hurt me!

Jasmine, you tart!

Look at you!

I couldn't believe my eyes. She's absolutely stunning, and that dress!

Well, it's not a dress, it's an outfit. It's amazing.

Thank you!

Oh, that is fabulous!

Wouldn't it fit me?

Which leg?

I shouldn't squeeze you too much, because you might pop out.

She does have whatnots now, and she needs to show them off.

-If you got them, flaunt them.

-That's right, yeah.

You know what I mean?

She's 18, she can do it now. You know what I mean?

And that girl has got everything, hasn't she? Let's face it.

I know!

Time to start the party by getting the drinks in,

and someone special is front of the queue.

I'm going to be the first one you're buying an alcoholic drink for.

I've waited 18 years for this.

In there, and I'll have half of cider.

I need my ID.

There's the bar, there.

I should have got my ID.

You don't need your ID! Look at that, there!

There's your bloody ID there, look!

It's going to come down to this. Here.

-Thank you, Grandad.

-See what I mean?

It's been like that for 18 years.

There's your rose.

Thank you.

And have a cider for big bruv.

Cheers.

Cheers, Jazz. Thank you for my very first alcoholic drink.

Ah, that tastes good.

That tastes absolutely beautiful.

My party's in full swing, but there's someone missing.

My mum.

I'm dreading her arrival, because I have no idea what she's wearing.

But knowing Mum, it'll be embarrassing or funny. Or both.

Where's the thing that you're wearing on your face?

What's she doing?

What's she done?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Come here!

When my mum first walked in,

I couldn't really work out what she was supposed to be.

I can't even get to you!

Come here.

Everybody, I don't think you can hear me,

but I thought, "Well, I'll come in fancy dress.

"Who could I come as?"

And I thought I'd come as my daughter!

What are you trying to say?

What are you trying to say?

You know what I mean?

It looked very revealing, and I hope I don't look like that every day,

so I was a bit like, "Well, thank you very much, Mum!"

# Anything you can do

# I can do better. #

Everyone thought it was hilarious, and I think I'm getting over

that embarrassing-mum stage, and now she's just really cool and funny,

and I appreciate so much what she's done tonight.

She can do whatever she wants, as far as I'm concerned.

Sisters! Twins!

Someone give me a drink!

No, that's it. I've seen the light.

I'm having a boob job.

Thankfully, Mum has changed out of her costume,

but she still has something else up her sleeve.

I want a queue forming to kiss my daughter,

because it could be your only chance.

At first, I was like, "Oh, God", and then when I looked at the line,

I was like, "I don't really mind, to be honest!"

Yay! Go, go, go!

Now that's a kiss!

One or two I think enjoyed it a bit more than the others!

Come on!

Mentioning no names.

I'm taking her for meself!

Boys only!

There you go!

It was rather nice!

SINGER: Ladies and gents, you know why we're all here.

It's to wish Jazz a very, very happy 18th birthday.

I think, tonight, I feel the best I've ever felt.

I feel so grown-up and so good in myself,

and I'm not as paranoid and self-conscious as I usually am.

Tonight I'm just me, take me or leave me,

and everybody seems to love it, so I'm quite happy.

It's just amazing that she's turned out that she has, really,

because I never would have thought she'd have done.

So shy.

Bev's a good role model, though, to her.

Seeing my mum so happy tonight, and seeing my grandad and my nana

so proud of me, and my auntie and uncle so proud of me,

it was great to see their reactions, and they were so surprised

to see me with the confidence that I've got,

and with the outfit that I've got,

and Neil said that I looked really different and grown-up,

and I just feel so lucky that I've got them to support me.

I'm glad you helped!

It's a shame that my dad couldn't be here, and I wish that he was,

but, you know, things happen, and they happen for a reason,

so I'm just going to enjoy every day and hope it's not my last.

Looking around the room, seeing everyone I love laughing

and having so much fun,

I know my 18th birthday party is a big success.

But then, everything gets a bit hazy.

Ugh, it's the morning after!

Me and some of my mates stayed over at the pub.

Ugh!

Oh!

God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my goodness.

There she was, in bed, and she was just out of the game altogether!

Good heavens above!

It was 12 when we left. She was fine.

It was my friends' fault.

They were giving me Jaegerbombs and everything.

They was what?

They were feeding her something called Jaegerbombs,

or something like that.

I've never heard of them before.

-Well, I wouldn't know.

-And shots.

That's what you get.

You're an alcoholic lady, you have to remember this.

I want my nana to look after me.

These shots did the trick,

and I'm afraid when I saw her lay there, oh, my God!

-Shake yourself!

-Oh, don't!

"Oh, don't!"

The lady from the place

had sat up with her because she was sick half the night.

Oh, goodness!

You'll come round, eventually.

Oh, my God, yeah!

Right, get yourself ready and sorted, and we'll get you home.

Now I have to face all my mates and breakfast.

Morning!

Morning, Jazz.

They all look good, this lot. What's up with you?

You going to have some breakfast, Jazz?

I don't think that's a good idea yet.

Not a cup of coffee?

I can't see properly.

Or would you like a Jaegerbomb?

ALL: Oooh!

Whose fault was that?

Oh, dear me. Come on, Jazz.

Ugh!

Oh, dear, oh, dear. Let's get you home and into bed.

Oh, it's too bright out here.

Oh, it'll soon be all right.

Oh, there you are.

Right, Jazz.

Just get me home, please.

How are you feeling?

Ugh!

Uggghhhh!

There we are, now, Jazz. You'll be all right, chuck.

-Oh, look!

-Oh, what a shame!

At Nana's house,

it looks like Uncle Gary's not taking my hangover seriously.

But surely Nana will give me some sympathy?

She came to the door, and she looked like death warmed up.

Just borrow them.

"Oh, Jazz! What have you been up to?" She says, "Oh, don't mention it!"

Get her into bed, now.

-Do we need a sick bowl?

-Yeah.

Yay!

Oh, no. I've just remembered what I got up to at the party

while Nana was still there!

So you spent the night alone, dear?

I did, thankfully. Puking up everywhere, and God knows what.

Oh, what a shame.

I don't know where my shoes and my hat and my fan...

Oh, we've got your hat, we've got your fan.

That's fine. I've got the rest of it.

We haven't got your shoes.

Mum's got them, I hope.

Well, your shoes were inside your phone.

Inside my phone?

I mean...

What? Are you still drunk, Nana?

Cheers, Jazz!

Yay, Nana!

That shot's gone to your head! It's killed your brain cells!

Right, I'll go and get you some Alka-Seltzer.

I'm finally 18, and I've got the hangover to prove it.

It's been a difficult year, but after everything I've been through,

I definitely feel like an adult.

My mum has taught me that my size does not define me.

# Anything you can do

# I can do better. #

And I've realised how important it is to stay strong,

no matter how tough things get.

I now feel ready to face whatever life throws at me,

starting with this hangover.

Alka-Seltzer. Get it down, right away. Come on.

Pinch your nose.

I can get you a straw, if it's easier.

Put it in a shot glass!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd