Young, Mormon & Single

Duck Beach is a lot of Mormons getting together on a beach.

Hundreds of singles, from LA to New York, all over across America.

Duck Beach is single awareness.

There's all this kind of pressure that gets put on every

interaction between the sexes.

I think a lot of people go there, just maybe to like hook up.

You kind of look back and that cost me 700 to go touch a boob.

Duck Beach is...opportunity,

cos there's so many people there that are in the same situation.

I'm not going to Duck Beach to meet anybody.

I'm not going, hoping that I'll meet somebody.

I'm not going, attempting to meet somebody.

To me, the purpose of Duck Beach is going to meet someone

and finding that eternal companion.

If anyone says anything different, they're lying.

The central message of the Church is marriage and family.

It's been about ten or 12 years that we've had this singles group,

here on the coast of North Carolina.

It's a week-long party.

It's interesting to be in this concentrated social situation

where you have fairly rigid limitations on how we express ourselves.

You're not going to find alcohol, you're not going to find drugs.

You're going to find a lot of cola.

-Volleyball, I'm sure.

-Pools, hot tubs.

-Girls gone mild!

A bunch of sexually frustrated...Mormon singles

that may break the rules.

According to Mormon belief,

we all existed before this Earth in a spirit world.

In pre-mortal existence, Jesus presented a plan for us

to come to Earth and get a body and to become like God,

making the purpose of life, quite literally, to become a god.

To do that, we must be baptised, find an eternal companion,

get married in God's temple and multiply and replenish the Earth.

When we die, we go to a holding place until Jesus' Second Coming.

At that time, those who were faithful will be resurrected

and live on Earth with Him for 1,000 years

and those who rejected Jesus will be temporarily thrust down to Hell.

SCREAMS

At the end of Jesus' 1,000 year reign, there will be a Judgment Day

where every person will be resurrected and assigned

a degree of glory based on their choices, actions and belief.

There are three degrees of glory.

A Telestial Kingdom is reserved for those who rejected Jesus,

people who spent 1,000 years being punished in Hell.

The Terrestrial Kingdom is a wonderful place,

but void of the presence of God and Jesus Christ.

The Celestial Kingdom is the highest degree of glory where families

can be together forever and become perfect, even like God is perfect.

Those who do not marry in God's temple

will be barred from the highest level of celestial glory.

For those that do marry, they will enter into their exultation

and become as gods and be together for ever as families.

Oh, my God!

The first thing you got was me over-packed.

I want to look cute!

Whether I'm in Utah or Duck Beach, I want to!

I grew up in Salt Lake, the Cottonwood Heights area.

And I'm the oldest of three kids.

My dad is a dentist and my mom is like the perfect stay-at-home mom.

They're a different colour. OK.

'I can't decide if 23 is old or young. Most of my girlfriends from high school are married.

'I wouldn't necessarily look at it as pressure.

'More, at least for me personally, it's just so natural for me

'to want to be married, I just want to be a wife and a mom so bad.'

Really!

I dated a boy for a little over a year-and-a-half.

The wedding was pretty much planned, but I just knew that it wasn't right.

And after a year-and-a-half, it's so sad that it took me

so long to realise it, but I think it took me so long cos of my age.

I was only 20 when we got engaged and I met him when I was, like, 18.

But my first date after him was this next guy that I dated.

And I wanted it to work so bad,

I didn't want to go through another break-up,

I wanted to marry him, we talked about it and it didn't work out.

And...it's OK.

I mean, sometimes I have hard days, everyone does, you know?

But I think that's cos I haven't found someone else.

-Oh!

-Excited.

-There's this slight problem.

-What?

Diet Coke is party for us.

-We don't drink.

-You don't drink at all?

I can't see myself wanting anything more than to be married

and to have a family.

And have my own kids, but then be a part of his family

and then also, I have a whole other family.

And he has my family.

So it is the central role of being here on this Earth

and being together for all-time and eternity.

But I'm constantly thinking,

I need to prepare myself for when that man does come into my life.

That's not the only thing I'm focussed on. I'm a dancer.

I want to be an amazing dancer.

I currently dance with a company called Odyssey Dance Theatre.

Being a dancer isn't just my job.

It's not just something I do during the day. It is who I am.

I like the push, I like the people I'm surrounded by every day

who are so talented and so inspiring.

They're so beautiful, so hard working, so nice.

I think she's perfect.

She's a great role model, she teaches us what to do

and what not to do in class, or with boys, she dated this boy

and she didn't like him, so she just gave us like advice

for like what to do if you don't like a boy and you don't want to be mean or something.

Every once in a while, I'll have a moment where I'm just like,

"What's going to happen if I'm like 25...?" Cos at 25 or 26, you're old.

The night before Duck Beach. What happens now? No idea.

I often describe my arrival to New York as Odysseus washing up

onto the shore of another island that I had no idea what it was.

I grew up in a traditional Utah Mormon family.

Everyone getting married before 25 and the only sibling not married

at this time is my little brother, Adam, who's on a mission.

There's a chance he might just beat me to it

and I'm kind of at a point now where I'm like...

OK, so be it.

Um... You know?

I've done my best, given my circumstances, I really have.

I left Utah, thinking that I was going to marry this girl,

but that just didn't work out.

When that fell apart...

..it hurt, you know?

I can't go without this one. Hottest shirt in the collection.

'And then I kind of continued through grad school with

'the expectation that I'd pick up my social life once I left.'

BELL RINGS

-Salvete discipuli!

-Salve!

I teach at Brooklyn Latin School, which is a high school in Bushwick.

It has been just a magnificent experience.

Mr Whitchurch is like the best Latin teacher ever. He's so funny.

..Rize Me!

Funniest thing is he sings in a really high-pitched voice.

# O di immortales! #

How do you know? One volunteer. Wow! Look at this!

'In the mix of this whole Odyssian voyage has been my dad'

and his fight with cancer.

My dad would always be giving me a 20 bill, saying,

"Hey, go take out a girl." I'm like, "OK. I'll work on it."

The thing that was hardest for me to process was knowing that

whenever I eventually do get married that he wasn't going to be there.

If I were to have the ideal situation coming out of Duck Beach,

it would be that I'd have some potential leads.

In whatever city, place or far reach of the world that might be.

-Hi there.

-How you doing?

-All right. JFK, right?

-JFK.

You never know when you're talking to a Mormon.

-Yes, we're like vampires that way, because we walk among you.

-We walk among you(!)

I have five siblings, four brothers and one sister. Huge Mormon family.

Too big, way too big. Oh, my gosh!

It was hell, but worth it because they're all my best friends now.

There's my girl!

'I'm pretty devout. Except...I have a potty mouth.'

We have so few indulgences and so you have to sort of choose the lesser of like 20 evils.

And like swearing at law school...

It was either, you start swearing, drinking, sleeping around...

We'll go swearing. So that's it for me, though.

But I'm totally straight arrow everything else.

Mostly. Almost all.

You have the sweetest ass ever!

I don't understand, because there's no reason to ask me out for my personality, but my ass...

..is spectacular!

I am not going to lie. Your ass is spectacular.

You might have to get a shot of our asses.

Are we saying "asses" too much?

I've been divorced for...seven years.

I was married for five years. I got married when I was 24. 24 to 29.

So that's been a little bit difficult, especially

where our religion so fervently advocates repentance and forgiveness.

I felt like I was being judged and it was OK with me,

because I knew that getting divorced was the right thing to do.

So I feel like now I really trust the Lord in my dating.

Oh, dating... Here's the deal, OK?

I'm 36. The Mormon dudes my age...they're so...

Look, they don't know. Cos the ones who know are married. Like, they figured it out.

They figured shit out and they've gotten married and moved on.

A 36-year-old virgin, it's not a good situation.

When I got home from my mission, I can remember everybody

betting on how long it would take for me to get married.

And I think one year was the longest

that people thought it would take me to find a wife.

And I think we're coming up on 14 years this summer.

I come from a family of six.

I have three brothers, two older, one younger,

and the two older are married, the younger one is married as well, so I'm the last man standing.

I had a close call with marriage where I dated this girl at BYU

and from the moment we saw each other, there was instant connection, chemistry,

and I honestly thought we would get married

and I was head over heels in love with her and it didn't work.

I can remember lying in bed, late at night, thinking,

"Gosh, did I lose my one shot?

"Was that it?"

"Was that the one chance I got and I lost it?"

# Gee-gee-ju-ju, nuh-nuh-nah-nah. #

'I love singing all the time. I'd be in my office, working,'

and I would always break out into random songs.

I didn't think much of it, until one day my assistant just

kind of slammed the door shut and turned up the radio.

I was like, "Maybe people don't enjoy my singing as much as I do!"

I studied English undergrad at BYU.

After BYU, I spent about seven to eight years on the East Coast.

I went to graduate school in Columbia.

The challenge of Utah, it's interesting.

I've dated some girls in Utah that I've thought to myself

while I've been on the date, "If you and I were living in New York

"right now, I'd probably want to date you seriously."

Duck Beach is mysterious.

I think that going in there with the specific

purpose of finding someone to date, I might come up shorthanded,

just given how many people will be there.

But shoot, if it happens, fantastico!

Finalmente! Right?

Maybe.

God is looking out for every single one of us

and He's going to place opportunities in our paths if we're doing our part.

And Duck Beach is...an opportunity for that. Do your part.

Buy a ticket, come out here, be solid in yourself

and maybe you'll find someone.

I'm the most anxious about seeing a couple of boys.

Maybe one in particular that I really like.

It's just really hard to like...

I haven't seen anyone for a while so it's sometimes it's hard to...

be myself, my awesome self.

"Welcome to Duck Beach".

In previous years, like when I came in 2007, it was weird.

The whole house ended up kind of...dated someone in the house.

I don't foresee it really this year. I got here this afternoon.

I've been looking around. I don't see any possible connections really.

I have a couple of theories on people who might be interested,

but I don't know.

There's a routine. Friday night, everyone arrives. Saturday, everyone sits on the beach,

trying to find that companion, that soul mate, if you will.

And then you're hoping to flirt Saturday night at the parties.

Sunday, everyone goes to church. Sunday night's pretty chilled. Then most people head home.

-Hey, guys.

-We're taking this party out of town!

Let's do this. Where are we headed?

-Ready to party!

-GIRLS SHOUT

Peace!

-All right. I don't really...

-Why are you standing there?

I turn 30 in about two months,

so I'm rapidly approaching the age where no-one in the Church

will want me and I'm at an age where no-one outside the Church is

going to want a 30-year-old virgin, so it's a very difficult situation.

-You going to the New York? It's super cool, man!

-OK.

It's going to be super cool!

Some days, I'll be like, "Oh, my gosh, I'm 25, I'm so old."

Oh, my gosh, I need to get married! I'm freaking out!

I need to have kids! I'm already 24!

You're so cute!

A huge part of being Mormon is getting married and having a family.

We get married for once and for all time and eternity.

And there's a lot of pressure.

It's our culture.

Mormons get married pretty young, and so it's just finding that one

you connect with and marry and have kids and live your happy little life.

There's a party happening, I don't know where.

People came out of the house, said, "We're going to a party,

"do you want to come?" I said, "Oh, there's a party?"

And I was given the line of...

"Well, it's an open invitation, but for you..."

and the sentence ended after that.

So, staying here isn't going to be too comfortable, if that's the sort of environment.

So I just went inside and graded papers.

There's times when you can probably walk in to a Mormon party

and wonder - what are these people drinking?

Their ability to kind of... have no inhibition in the way

they dance and so forth...

Most people that walk into that that aren't

part of the culture would be like, "I need a few beers to do that."

Mormons are really funny cos we don't drink and get crazy

and have this excuse to be like silly.

So we do other things like drink 17 five hour energies.

# I'm in love, so are you I couldn't say it another way... #

I brought a lot of swimsuits. It's so bad. But it's fun.

All the girls are like, "Which shall I wear today?

"Which shall I wear tomorrow?"

So I bought a couple of suits for the beach this year.

I needed to kind of stock up.

So I got some one pieces that are really cute.

This one I wore yesterday. Love it.

So...kind of like a longer top.

Then black. Always use a black one.

I have one bikini. Ah...you guys...

I don't know how things are going to work.

This one. It's kind of... you know, modest, actually.

I might bust it out, but it might just be for the local pool.

Like in our backyard.

This guy, so cute. This is my one today.

I would say in general,

members of the Church will feel that a one piece is modest

and more consistent with what Church leaders would encourage us to wear.

I personally don't necessarily think that.

But I'm sure there are those people that do.

At what point do we tell the camera that we're putting Preparation H on our foreheads?

You guys, no, listen.

I've got a zit starting to grow and everyone knows about these nose ones - they hurt.

So I was asking people, "What can I do?" And they were like,

"Put Neosporin on the inside and put Preparation H on the outside."

Preparation H, you know? Anyway, I tried it and actually, it worked.

-I had some of that, luckily!

-Yeah, I went into his room.

It worked, it went down.

And then I thought, "I won't bring it to Duck," and then it resurfaced.

I went to the store and bought some Preparation H and Neosporin.

If anyone sees my toiletry bag, it could be disastrous.

You know what? I kind of don't love swimming, I'll just play.

You know the difference, just hanging out and everything. Swimming?

Getting my head... No! I'm like one of those girls. I'm lame.

It's OK, though. I'm fine.

OK, I'm ready. Ready to go.

Let's go play some volleyball! Kick some butt! Let's do this.

# With the sun burn my eyes Let it burn my back

# Let it sear through my tights I'll feel wide open... #

Today is the big day. This is when everyone...

-"OK, that person's nice."

-He's cute.

-She has a great personality.

-That's what people are looking at, you know.

-Yeah.

-Only personalities.

Only personalities! We're not very shallow(!)

# You're never gonna stop me

# You're never gonna stop the king of the beach. #

I feel like the guys have so many options,

so they're never really considering it seriously,

which isn't what the Prophet has told us that we should be doing.

But, you know, as women we're kind of at the...dispos...

No, that's a bad word to say.

-There are so many of us.

-The men are the deciders, the pursuers.

# Never gonna stop me

# You're never gonna stop King of the beach. #

-You know how Melissa, she's super, like "Ah, hey!"

-See, I don't think...

-It's not like that?

-No.

I just feel like everyone's different

and so I don't think anybody should change who they naturally are

because, otherwise, if they ended up attracting a guy,

that wouldn't be real.

Well, if their personality was versatile, though.

No. I mean... I don't know. I just kind of think,

be yourself and hope to bump into somebody who appreciates that.

# When I get back when I get back home

# I won't be the same no more. #

Hello, Duck Beach!

Scope, scope, scope.

-Scope. Today's our last chance.

-Our last chance of a lifetime.

Lots of women here.

So, where the volleyball courts end, as far as this group ends,

like those tents right there.

I would say, it's all single Mormons, for the most part.

These girls are looking at us.

'You're taught from a young age, as a Latter Day Saint, to get'

married, but not just get married, but look for certain qualities.

I think there's the general things that most people look for,

it's important that I get married in a temple.

That's important to me, that she be an active member of the Church.

And that she be a good mother. I think that's important to me.

-Let's lay down the rules.

-OK.

-We've got to go up once.

Let's have a competition.

I think, personally, I would probably date...younger than me.

Five or six years younger than me.

Not because I have anything against older women,

but I think, for a woman's sake, it might be hard for them to get married and date at this age.

What's the objective? Are we going to have to...?

are we picking someone for ourselves or for each other?

Ah...for each other...

You've got the Utah typical Mormon guy who is

looking for the supermodel, small, petite, big boobs. Blonde hair.

That could get out of control.

We should pick them for ourselves, but we have to choose one person and the objective has to be that

we talk to them and get to know them and get them to the party.

-Oh, that's easy.

-That's doable.

'I think a lot of them don't really know what they want, first of all.'

They want a girl who's really good looking and fun and then they want

a girl who's super spiritual and they want the best of both worlds.

They want this girl who's OK with them being inappropriate or

doing things they want to do, but then she has to be...

I don't want to use the word "perfect" but that's how it feels.

I think with men,

men kind of have idealised women,

you know, generally speaking.

But even more so in Mormon culture,

because there's no experience of sexual intercourse.

There's no experience of sexual intimacy.

The law of chastity, simply defined,

is to not have sexual relations before marriage.

Let's just be clear. It's not just sex, it's nothing but kissing.

The leaders of our Church encourage us to kiss,

but not to make out.

It's kind of... Yeah, it's like black and white.

-Do it standing up and never laying down.

-I think it's a personal thing.

You know what's right and what you feel comfortable with.

Whether you're dating somebody, in a serious relationship or not...

We want to stay pure, we want to stay morally clean...

And you wouldn't want to do anything to them

that they would have to tell their future spouse about.

Within the Mormon culture,

there's a lot of misunderstanding about sexuality

and I don't know if that stems, you know,

from the way the law of chastity is taught,

but sex can be a taboo subject.

I think the philosophy is, "Don't even go near it."

Just avoid it altogether.

The women have got to push themselves to look a certain way,

to be a certain way, because of that heightened insecurity

and sensitivity to what the media pushes.

I feel like it's easier to repress it entirely

and I feel like, when you repress it,

you return to that stage where you're around maybe 15 or 16,

you know, when you were in junior high.

-What time should we tell people?

-I'd say nine. People show up at ten.

-OK.

Yeah, because I think you should get Shante or Suzette or something.

-And start advertising.

-We're advertising to the girls,

-you start advertising to the guys.

-OK. I can advertise to the boys.

No, you do girls too.

I go on a lot of first dates,

and I made a goal this New Year's to -

not in a rude way - but give guys more of a chance.

I feel like I'm very ambitious and sometimes when girls say "ambition"

they think, "Oh, she's a gold-digger." But I'm not!

I'm not, I swear!

Security's a huge issue.

Having a good job, making good money and having that stability

so that you can raise a family.

I need somebody who...

is super-smart, really hot, loves sports.

He needs to make more money than I do.

All of that aside, testimony is the most important.

And a relationship with God.

Somebody who understands Christianity.

My divorce was really hard. It almost killed me.

I struggle with depression and anxiety in my life, so...

But I didn't really know it until that time.

It hasn't really been a problem since then,

but I am very careful to watch sort of like the triggers.

So if I notice that I'm having trouble making decisions

or if I'm not sleeping very well,

I sort of have a checklist that I'll go through

and just try and correct it.

I felt like I was in New York, being in that crowd.

In New York, you can be around...

There are 8 million people in that city

and you can feel so alone. And I felt the same way.

'I found it extremely difficult to hold a conversation.'

I lose track. One of the things I remember

is that I went to your birthday party many years ago.

-Which one?

-When... I don't know...

-That was, like, a fun party.

-Yeah.

-That was a fun party, so...

-But Brian was in Virginia before that.

-Yes, I was.

That's how I met him, yeah. I was in DC and Boston.

-So you just keep going?

-Yeah.

Not so much by choice but more by just kind of necessity.

I needed a job after I got laid off in Boston. So...

-It's good to see you. I'm going to run back to the beach.

-You do that.

You guys do that. Thanks for stopping and chatting for a bit.

-I'll see you guys around, OK?

-See you, Brian.

-Ciao.

-Are you the Latin teacher, Brian?

-Claro que si.

-What?

-Yes.

-I have one tiny Latin phrase memorised really badly.

-What is it?

Erm... Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit.

If you were to pick a phrase to remember,

that's probably the coolest one.

Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit.

It's Aeneas speaking to his men

after they've been completely destroyed.

It means maybe one day

it will have helped to have remembered these things.

Hold on, you guys,

I'm just going to get some root beer from this keg over here.

You've got to get this too.

This is my third year at Duck and I think it is so fun

cos you get the range, you get the range of people here.

And just like in any other specific group,

you have a range of people in the Mormon Church.

My particular situation, being a single mother,

I feel is often forgotten when the Church is being represented.

The more you get to know people in the Church,

the more you realise that

it's not so traditional, perfect, you know...families.

When I was married and debating divorce

I took it to God and I said,

"Look, I am in hell in this marriage.

"I will stay, I just want to be happy some day.

"If that's 20 years from now, fine. If it's divorced, fine."

And the Lord immediately said, "Get divorced."

That is hot. Literally hot.

I've had struggles, but I was able to get through it

and I stayed strong in the Church,

I think that's kind of what helped me get through it.

# And I ain't got nobody

# In this world to care for me. #

# It's been a day

# Even the sun don't have rays

# But I'm not done

# You know I'm doing OK

# Cos if it dumps, I bump it back

# Yeah, bump it back till it's play

# Cos, baby, I got sugar, I got honey

# Somethin' feeling good is money

# I got my party dress on

# I got my shoes to get me goin'

# And if you want, you come along

# I got, I got, I got, let's go

# I've got my party dress on I've got my shoes to get me goin'

# And if you want, you come along I got, I got, I got, let's go... #

Our decision of the person that we marry

is the most important decision we'll ever make,

and so that can create some pressure.

You want to get it right. You know, I'm 34,

I obviously thought it would have happened before now

and, for whatever reason, it hasn't,

and I'll just keep doing my thing and trust that it will.

The reality is anyone can actually just hook up and get married

and they'll be fun.

But we're afraid of the eternities,

of that kind of commitment for ever, or making the wrong choice.

We'll do anything not to make the wrong choice,

even perpetuate adolescence.

# I got my party dress on

# I got my shoes to get me goin'

# And if you want, you come along I got, I got, I got

# Let's go, I got my party dress on

# I got my shoes to get me goin'

# And if you want, you come along I got, I got, I got, let's go. #

Oh, my gosh, I don't want to be in charge of this.

Who is in charge of this outfit?

I'm in charge of it. So we'll get...

The music's off and then we'll get everybody inside.

If I give you my word that we'll keep it down

and get everybody inside, would it be possible to...

-This 50 fine?

-If you've got to issue it, I respect that.

-This is what we've been doing.

I've been to, like, five of these tonight, so this is how I cut down on it.

OK, well, I can respect that.

The music. We told everyone - house 469, follow the music!

-You'll hear the music.

-We were asking for it.

It was a success. It was a success!

'In the house, talking, the question is,'

"So, do you think anyone's cute? Do you think anyone's cute in the house?

"Did you see anyone at the beach today or at the party tonight?"

We talk about that all the time

and I know that a lot of people don't want to seem too desperate.

Like, I'm at the beach, people meet each other, they get married,

so I'm going to go get her number,

or I'm going to make sure he gets my number.

This is a solid foundation

and if you're still interested in someone

I think a lot of contacting may happen after Duck Beach.

-Tell me if you know this.

-No, I don't!

Do you know the duh-duh cha-cha-cha?

You don't? Really? How do you not know that? You're a freakin' dancer.

You don't know those moves? They're the most basic moves.

-You really don't?

-I get down.

Everyone was so friendly, everyone was so nice.

I'm just glad that my friends have been so welcoming to everyone

and even welcoming to Brian.

We had a really good chat with him on Saturday at our party.

I actually met a girl tonight...

-THEY GASP

-OK, OK! Oh, oh, oh, oh!

'There was a girl that came up and talked to me.'

I was so floored by that.

She just, like, out of the blue went up and introduced herself and...

we talked for a good 20-30 minutes, you know?

Definitely you could tell

there was a lot of natural, innate chemistry there,

which was great.

Because there's so much edifice,

there's so much superficiality

that goes with any sort of LDS single gathering.

I'm not saying, not necessarily in religious circumstances or setting,

but I am saying in, like, social activities.

MUSIC: "One More Time" by Daft Punk

Nine o'clock, Sunday morning.

We've got to leave right now, because church starts at ten.

At 9:30 probably all the seats will be taken,

so we're actually a little behind.

But everything will be full in the chapel,

we'll probably be sitting in an overflow,

and then there's even going to be some people outside, I'm sure.

-It's going to be pretty intense.

-All right, let's do this.

Look at her coming down the stairs.

You look smokin'!

This is the Nag's Head Ward.

I've had the opportunity to see the ward grow

from just one family to... 150 active members.

I believe the attendance today was a little over 900.

Our congregation kind of looks forward to the young people

and seeing them once a year.

We actually get to meet and get to know a few of them

and I think some of them maybe

would like not to come back as a single the next year, but...!

Prayer is part of my day, all day, every day.

I just, you know,

thank Heavenly Father almost every day for how easy it came for me.

How easy it came for me to believe and to have faith.

So I may not be this, like, amazing scriptorian,

I might not know all the doctrine, but it's more...how I feel.

There are more ways to know something than what you see or sense.

But to say that the only way you can know something

is through feeling it...

I think that that's just equally as wrong.

So striking a balance between the two is really, I think,

the golden mean for which we should be aiming.

When I started to learn more and think more

and be more...analytical of the things that are around me,

it's at that point that I felt that my faith started to be challenged.

Have I ever left the Church? No.

But I've felt a definite resistance from the time of about 25 to now.

You know, what we call it in the Mormon faith is you gain a testimony.

More often than not, you have feelings of the spirit

where you feel peace.

When I read the Book Of Mormon, I prayed about it, I felt that way,

it just kind of totally changed my whole approach to things.

I just think more than anything it gave me a confidence level

that this is how I'm going to live my life,

because I belive it's of God.

My favourite time of the day

is at night when I go home and read my scriptures.

It's probably been 15 years that I made this deal with God.

I was just late for a flight and I really wanted to get on the flight,

but I was like, there's no way in hell I can make this flight.

There's no way, there's no way.

So I was driving and I was like, "OK, look, if you make this happen -

"which is not probable that you will or you can -

"if you make this happen

"I will read my scriptures every day for the rest of my life."

And he was like, "Done."

And honestly, I see little things like that in my life every day.

I see him and I say, I really need to find a parking spot,

if you could help me out that would be really great -

this is the conversation I have with him in my head.

And there's always a great parking spot or everything just kind of works out.

Didn't make it to church today.

This morning, I had kind of a hard morning.

Erm...

I saw a boy who I think is really great, erm, and...

Erm...

It's just hard.

It's hard because it's good, it's great.

-So it's hard to be with him because...?

-Can you not see?

Like, can you not? How can you not see how great this is, you know?

I mean, we'll just have to see what happens, I guess, but, like...

Like, there's... I... I don't know what to do. You know?

Like...

And I haven't liked anyone this much in a really long time,

so it's just like...

It's just hard, when it, you know...comes along.

And I feel like this is probably far from over with him. I just really...

I like spending time with him, you know?

Let's get started. First of all, we have a newcomer to the house.

Can everybody give Michael a warm welcome?

Hey!

-He came up from the JD team.

-He got promoted.

'I suppose every house...'

It's something about organising,

it has a degree of excluding a certain type,

for whatever reason, or whatever...

taste or opinion or demographic is involved.

I don't know.

I think we reached out to people that we're friends with and,

you know, we have some friends that are attractive

that wanted to come, and so, we're lucky.

But we didn't have a requirement that they had to look a certain way.

Our dear Heavenly Father, we are so grateful to be gathered together

here as friends in beautiful North Carolina.

We are so grateful for all of our many blessings.

We're grateful for the friendships that we are developing

and that we will continue to develop this weekend.

We are so grateful for Jesus Christ and for his example

and his sacrifice for each one of us.

We're grateful for all the preparation

that has gone into making this event possible for us.

We especially, at this time,

would like to thank Thee for those that have prepared the food.

We ask Thee to please bless this food,

that it will nourish and strengthen our bodies.

And that we might continue to be safe and have fun

on the rest of this trip.

We say these things humbly in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

ALL: Amen.

OK, let's eat!

CHEERING

We're at the New York house.

There is a huge acoustic night.

I was shocked at how many people just crammed every possible space.

-RAPS:

-Some of the busiest rhymes Ever made by man

Are coming out of this mic Written by this hand

Come out of this mouth Made by this tongue

Tell, you know, my name is Young.

HE SINGS

I didn't know there was one,

that was the reason why I didn't perform in the talent show.

'When I was 16 and I realised that I could sing,'

that was a real changing moment for me.

It became not a question of what I can't do

and what I was incapable of,

but it became more a question of what can I actually accomplish?

So, I'm going from singing

into figuring out I could learn things,

into figuring out I could learn languages.

# Che bella cosa E na jurnata 'e sole

# N'aria serena doppo na tempesta

# Ma n'atu sole

# Cchiu bello, oi ne'

# 'O sole mio sta nfronte a te

# 'O sole 'O sole mio

# Sta nfronte a te

# Sta nfronte a te! #

# We gave

# To see for ever

# But for ever it's gone... #

Oh, oh, oh!

-Rewind that, rewind that.

-I must have missed it.

That's a boy, you've got to get out. Go.

-Emily saw that we're reading.

-No, no, no.

I just think it's our last night, we have to stay up.

We have to. We have to.

'Who's the hottest guy in the house?'

-Ryan, for sure.

-Which one?

-Baughman's my first vote.

-Ryan Baughman? Ow!

Elle thinks Blake's cute.

I'm in love with Blake, but we're not a good fit.

And he's adorable, because he has a great smile, he's funny...

-And his eyes.

-..and he's assertive and he has amazing eyes.

-He's just the cutest thing ever.

-Why are you guys not a good fit?

Just out of curiosity?

Well...

Typically, the guys that I date are extremely GQ,

they're 6"4 and very, very manly.

-You might want to work on that.

-I'll keep in touch with everyone, but there's no-one

in the house that I would actually consider as an eternal companion.

-There's a couple of boys that have an eye on her.

-No.

-Of course.

-At least all of them. At least.

-No-one has their eye on me. Whatever.

At least all of them.

I came out here with a house of people where

I knew a lot of them already

and I'm going to go home with the person

that probably has the most potential being somebody I already knew.

I don't believe that there's one person for you.

I feel like you can meet someone at the wrong time,

so if you met them later in your life

or earlier in your life, it may have worked out.

But I don't think

I could marry every single person who was on the same page as me

in every little thing, because there has to be that "X factor".

There are times where I feel it for someone and maybe

he doesn't feel that strong, or maybe he did and then it went away.

I'm sure, well, I'm not sure, but maybe someone's felt that for me

and I haven't necessarily felt that way for him.

That's just how dating is. That's what makes dating hard.

Everyone says, "Dating's so hard." Of course it's hard.

You're trying to find two people who are ready to date.

It's a miracle.

It's a miracle, an amazing miracle,

it's a beautiful miracle to see two people have it work out.

When I'm dating somebody, I never had go to the Lord and say,

"Am I going to marry this person? Am I going to marry this guy?"

For one thing, cos I don't really...

Really, I don't think I can handle the answer,

whatever it is, in a lot of cases.

'He warned me very clearly, very clearly,

'not to marry and a couple of people'

have asked me, who know the story,

if they think it was this self-fulfilling prophecy,

that maybe that wasn't really God communicating with me,

but maybe those were my thoughts and it was self-fulfilling.

It was a mistake that I will not make again, not only in marriage,

but, whenever the Lord tells me to do something, I will do it.

'And my philosophy has kind of become to just put on'

a happy face, like put on a straight face,

like, you know, be happy.

'I don't think that there's one right person for me.'

I don't think it's unreasonable to want to find somebody or to hold out

for someone that you have a really strong connection with,

you're really compatible with

and there's just that mutual feeling

of love and a natural desire to want to be with them

and I think you can find that in more than one person.

'I've had it on a couple of occasions.'

Er...one occasion, I bought a ring and had a Temple date and...

..and then just things happened in the relationship that kind of

made it so it didn't seem like it was the right thing to move forward with and then...

the one before that, I was just young and immature

and I didn't realise, I think, what was important

and I didn't, um...

I didn't appreciate the rarity of what I had,

so I think I messed it up.

My dad was truly an amazing dad.

And a man that I'm always going to admire and to realise that

that was soon on his way out the door, that was tough.

I remember saying to myself over and over and over again

when I heard the news and I was driving home, "I still need him.

"Even if he's not here in the same city as me,

"I need that person to call up and talk to."

He would call me all the time and, when his memory started giving out,

he would call me every two hours to just see how I was doing.

And I could really tell how much he loved me, you know?

Yeah.

And so, he fought till the last minute.

And, the last time I saw him was in the airport...

..when he handed me the 20 bill

and said, "Go take out a girl."

'Duck Beach, in a way, is hope.

'Just like all the things that one does to try and find someone'

is an extension of hope.

It seems about all I've got left these days, you know?

'I have so much reason to just say,'

"I give up. You know?

"If I live a truly virtuous life,

"that right person will just fall into my life."

But I've still got to keep on trying.

And every time I go out, every time I talk to someone,

there's still that hope that I hold onto.

That one day it will work out.

But with hope comes fear.

What if it doesn't?

That's a fear.

But to give in to that would be to just ignore the hope

and to stop trying.

And also an offence to my dad.

It's been about a month.

Unfortunately, all I've heard of are relationships that were destroyed.

It's because these guys get down there

and there are these hot chicks in bikinis

and they lose their minds.

# We're going to be waiting for a long time

# But it'll be worth it

# When we find what we find

# We'll find God

# In our lover's arms... #

I came down to visit some friends,

including Mr Ezra who was in my house at Duck Beach.

I wanted to hang out with Stacey more,

just to get to know her more.

She's fun to be around.

'When we were organising the house,

'I told them that I'd really like Ezra to be at the house.

'So, we hung out a little bit at the beach,'

got enough, so I came down here

and made him hang out with me

'and he did so.'

I am open to a relationship with Stacey, yes.

'Life is good. Life is good.'

Duck Beach is good.

# We won't be sleepless

# And we'll get better each night

# Cos we're not afraid of dying

# We're afraid of wanting... #

"The grass is greener" syndrome is a very real syndrome here

and I think that you can go out with somebody who's fun and cute,

has a lot going for them

and, if you just don't hit it off right away,

or if there's just, you know...

she chews her dinner with her mouth open once, you know,

you can quickly rule her out, because there's five other girls

that you think are cute that you want to take out and so you

just don't give things a legitimate chance.

'I'm interested in Melissa.'

Taken her out on three dates since we got back from Duck,

we're going on a fourth tomorrow and...

..I'm trying.

We're friends, we're friends.

We're buds. We'll see. Who knows?

But he's great, this guy's great, another guy's great.

Of course, I'm not sure. Of course I'm not sure. If I was sure, I'd say.

But I'm not sure, because...

..I'm just not.

Maybe that's a problem of mine.

Not just with him, with everyone.

With everyone I date.

# Redefine God

# As something that you want... #

Duck Beach is just this weekend where

I was kind of ripped apart by the social barbarity of Mormon singles.

In part that was true, but in part I'm really glad that I went.

I mean, it was an experience and it was experience where, you know,

when you kind of find yourself very visibly excluded

and kind of on the fringe...

..you think... You kind of step back and think about, "Why is this?"

You question why.

I found that it was an immensely helpful experience in thinking

more deeply about who I am,

what it is that I'm doing

and what it is that I want.

As far as prospects go,

chi sa, who knows, right?

There's one girl I've got to follow up with when I get back.

'I'm not going to give up.'

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