My Lost Son

killed a four`year`old boy. He is the fourth Israeli civilian to be

killed. Now, My Lost Son, the story of a mother who learned of her son

was killed in the Lockerbie bombing. This is a story of love and

loss that spans a lifetime. As a young single woman, Carol King

Eckersley gave birth to a boy and gave him for adoption. She has

longed to know how his life turned out. In April, 2013, she decided to

find out and so began an extraordinary journey. Her search

for her lost son. I typed his name in and it brought me to a website

and I looked and I said, " My God! It is him! " And it was him. But why

were they only showing a part of his life? But it finally dawned on me

that it was right and I said, " My God! My baby is dead! " Ken Bissett

was one of 35 university students who died on the flight home from a

town in London. As relatives of those killed in the Lockerbie

bombing prepares to mark the 25th anniversary of the attack the

anguish of one mother has only just begun. As relatives gathered to

remember 25 years on, Carol was attending for the very first time,

having only just learned of her loss. Even though I did not have him

with me physically, he was always in my heart. Having covered her story

at the time, I have kept in touch with her and as the months have

passed, I have wondered how she is coping, so I have come to see her at

home in Portland, Oregon, to find out. Hello, Carol! Since we last

met, she has learned a lot about her son. She has a folder on his life,

which has been filling up, as some of those who knew Ken Bissett have

got in touch. I'm one of his best friends in school and on e`mail met

a girl who lived next door to him and knew him while he was a toddler,

and she sent the pictures. `` sent me some pictures. That is a cracking

picture! Isn't that wonderful? Ken Bissett died two days after his 21st

birthday. His parents lost their only child. It was so devastating

for his parents. He was their life. They were good parents, weren't

they? They were so good. Everything I wanted for him came true. That is

what I wanted. I wanted him to have a mother and father who love each

other and loved him and could allow him to be the best he could be and

be unconditionally loved and that is what he got. Carol 's album gives

her a glimpse into life Ken led but she wants more and does not have to

travel far to find it. Michael is one of Ken's best friends from

school in New York and by coincidence, he now lives near Carol

in Portland. He can tell her what Ken was like as a teenager. We went

to a lot of jazz clubs and hung out a lot all through the New Year and

into college. We would stay up all night, talking about life. Whether

it was music, Springsteen at the time, music, jazz, God or the lack

thereof. We would talk all night long. I don't know if any of us

needed sleep. Ken is so important to Michael that he gave his surname,

Bissett, to one of his children. This makes Ken more real to me, it

makes him a real person and when you have a real person, you can really

grieve. And that is the gift I have been given.

Carol's older sister, Sandy, has been by her side ever since she

brought Ken into the world. They are best friends and Carol needs that

support now more than ever, and she takes the next steps on her

journey. At their favourite restaurant, Carol and Sandy are

preparing to visit the UK, where Ken spent the last months of his life.

We will be leaving at 3:30 PM, going up through Vancouver, and we will

arrive in London at 11:40am. In London, they will meet the man who

taught Ken photography. They are also steeling themselves to visit

the town where Ken was one of 270 people who died. When we go to

Lockerbie, I know that they can show me where they found Ken. I have

thought about it a lot. I did not know if I could do that but I want

to, I want to. I want to go the whole trip. It's going to be rough.

It's going to be brutal. When Carol and Sandy were young, children born

outside marriage would not talk about. For decades, Carol's baby was

their secrets. It was not until I was here that these did not of being

an unmarried mother... I realised that I had been carrying that for 46

years. And I was finally able to let it go because I did belong. I was

his mother. Carol has lightened her emotional border by `` burdened by

confronting her past. She was advised to do so by a grief

counsellor after her husband died. She hopes the painful journey ahead

will heal her further and serve a wider purpose. I feel like if I can

help anybody like the mothers who were in the same position that I

was, back in the 1960s, if I can be of any help to them to let them know

that they are OK. Carol and Sandy are crossing the Atlantic Ocean,

just as Ken did a generation ago. It was a journey from which he did not

return. Now, Carol wants to walk where Ken walked in the hope it will

bring her closer to her son. Oh, heavenly days! Is that Westminster?

Oh, my gosh! That is Big Ben! As well as sightseeing in London, Carol

and Sandy wanted retrace Ken's steps with help from his photography

professor Ian Hessen bird. It was 25 years ago and still I have very

strong memories of those kids, especially Ken. He is a link to the

precious last days of Ken's life. He can show Carol the flat where Ken

lived and the places he explored in London. More than that, he can show

Carol a little of who Ken really was. You can see the comparison

there. He was a lovely, cheeky boy. He was very sweet. A good sense of

humour. Amazing. A very bright sense of humour. Amazing. This cheeky

young man was one of five and students taught by Ian who boarded

Pan Am Flight 103. The building Ken studied in is included in Ian's tour

of what was in 1998 Syracuse London. That is the campus. We would

have come out of my classroom here. Steps up from the basement. That is

where my class would have come out. And they would have all night access

to the building. It's OK, honey. (SOBBING). Honey, oh, honey.

It has been a little... Gut wrenching. I felt like he was right

there with me and I was walking with him, not just where he had walked.

They had great fun down there. Was the gate there are? I felt him so

strongly at 1.I thought I might pass out. I'm sorry. I did not expect it

to hit me quite like that. Are you glad you came? Oh, I'm so glad I

came. Never apologise for your tears. That is what this is all

about. The next stop on Carol's journey is

the Scottish capital. She has discovered that in his last

few months, Ken visited the area with friends.

I believe you have an enquiry you would like some help with. Yes, I

do. This was a picture that was taken off my son. He was on Pan Am

103. I'd like to find where this picture was taken. We don't have to

look too far. K. Because this tour right here is actually be a store

right here. For heavens sake! It is. Look at the boys. They are having a

wonderful time. Beautiful. We are standing right at the location where

the photo was taken. Every snapshot is of huge importance

to Carol. That's all I have. I can never touch him, I can never hear

his voice. The things that mothers always take for granted.

This is Carol's first visit to Scotland but she has already made a

friend here. This couple have been a huge source of strength to her but

until now they have only exchanged online hugs. At last they have the

chance to meet. A real hug! Not only do they share friendship, we also

share the experience of being separated from a child by adoption.

With Marion, Carol knows she is talking to someone who really

understands. When I talk to his friend Mike, he said it was never a

secret that he was adopted. That it was well known. You weep with those

who weep because you understand. I knew that she had a big journey to

grow. If she felt we were there, walking with her, she wasn't alone.

As I married mums in the 1960s, they were frowned upon by society. Many

thousands of women have silently suffered that stigma. But attitudes

have changed and the film Philomena about another mother's search for

her son has opened up this difficult subject.

Even though the treatment of the person can be different, the

emotions are the same. The deep longing for your child is the same.

So close in so many ways. Carol has travelled far from home to get

closer to her son. In New York, London and Edinburgh, she is pieced

together the life Ken had. At the hardest leg of her journey is still

ahead. `` pot. To learn exactly how his life ended in Lockerbie. That

was where the nose went went, and the people in the front of the plane

fell. It blew up there. I have not in my stomach. Why am I

doing this? `` knots in. He had a short life. I want to find out as

much about those 21 years as I can. How can I not do this?

In Lockerbie, they are meeting local police officer who was on duty on

the night of the crash. Colin has offered to be their guide. At 18,

Colin was the youngest police officer to deal with the

devastation. He has been reluctant to talk about it in the past but he

wants to help Carol understand the enormity of what happened.

A few days before Christmas, 1988, the world of work to these

unforgettable images of what remains the deadliest terrorist attack in

the UK. Colin is taking Carol and Sandy to wear the nose came down. It

was approximately the spot here. `` this spot. Almost exactly here.

That's the south. But the general direction that the international air

traffic from Heathrow, bound for the USA, would travel. The aircraft

would come from that way. The scope, it's hard to visualise. Even though

I've seen the pitch of the cockpit. `` the picture. There were bodies

scattered across the hillside. Local doctors were called out to check for

signs of life but that `` but found no survivors. At least one of these

medics still lives in the town. The doctor certified the deaths of many

passengers. Carol has come to ask him how much her son would have

suffered. I've been told that probably they were pretty much

instantly gone. Is that true? I think there is uncertainty but to

the best of my knowledge it is probable that they were unconscious

from immediately after the explosion in the aeroplane. There would be

oxygen free air, so that consciousness would at least be

clouded. I think if that could be any comfort to you, it's a comfort

to me. It was. Thank you very much. You are more than welcome.

Wreckage fell across Lockerbie, leaving a huge crater where homes

had been in one corner of town. Today, Colin is taking Carol to

another quiet neighbourhood where part of the plane and dozens of

passengers came down. Every step of Carol's journey so far has been a

preparation for this moment. The miracle of this area is that no

resident was killed. Amazing. It's just totally amazing. But this was,

however, an area where many of the passengers, including Kenneth, fell.

The wreckage might be long gone but the emotional impact of the

Lockerbie bombing remains extremely powerful. Especially for Carol, who

is probably the last person in the world to have learned of a loved one

lost here. He was so ready to be a grown`up and

live. The good life and be a good person. He never had the chance.

These are for you. No, I'm not OK. I hurt.

All the horror and the sorrow just kind of all came together and at 1.I

thought I just want to weigh all and wail. `` wail and wail. But I

thought I wouldn't be able to stop. Do you want to sit down? I learned

that the adoption process is something that is not understood

enough. I know I didn't. I didn't. I gave Ken to adoption for what I

thought were all the best reasons, so he would have a home with a

mother and father who loved each other and could love him but I

didn't know what it was going to do to me. And how it would affect me

for the rest of my life. For many of us this weekend is a

bank holiday weekend and it actually looking pretty decent, with some

spells of sunshine on Saturday and Sunday. Nights will be chilly,

especially Saturday night. Into