Transgender Love

and through hormone treatment and surgery,

Every year, a growing number of people find the courage

to come out as transgender.

This is me, get over it!

But finding love when you're trans is as difficult as ever.

I'm jealous of just about every single other woman out there.

Existing relationships crack under the strain.

Lots of arguing and screaming.

Most families break apart.

Miss them so much.

It is extremely tough for children...

I was picked on, it was horrible.

..and partners.

Can I actually do this?

But in the face of these challenges,

there are couples trying to make it work...

If you love someone, you love someone.

It doesn't really matter, like, what anyone else says.

And families whose love is strong enough to survive a mum, dad,

husband or wife changing gender.

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy right now, it's unbelievable!

MUSIC: Let's Work Together by Canned Heat

# Together we stand

# Divided we fall... #

Justine works at Peterhead harbour,

installing and repairing marine electronic equipment

on fishing trawlers.

She has worked here for more than 25 years.

The lights are going up and down with me just moving the cable.

That'll have to come off, a bit later on. Oh!

That'll be a three-person job.

A woman working on fishing boats is unusual enough.

But Justine is even more unique.

For the first 20 years she worked here, she was a man called Justin.

Probably need to immerse if it's got a nick in the cable already.

You'll get water in there.

Then five years ago, she took her workmates by surprise

and began coming to work as a woman.

Coming out was my biggest fear round here.

They were a bit wary.

There were certain boats I wasn't allowed to come down,

because they thought...obviously they thought they were going to

catch something, or maybe make them gay or something, stupidly.

Have your lights been OK since we've cut it back?

Aye, aye. Aye? Great, aye. Great.

We probably first noticed it when she came on the boat, a few

years ago, the long fingernails and the red hair.

Now, looking back and after what she's done,

that was maybe the start of it.

Years ago, it was frowned upon when people got divorced, I think.

Now, everybody does it. Know what I mean?

So, I think transgender people are more acceptable as well, I think.

Sailing at four o'clock today.

So, no pressure, it needs to be all right!

'Years ago, when she used to come aboard on her father's boat,

'she wasn't very talkative when she was a he, you know?'

And I don't think I actually said two words to her.

But since she's had transition and became a woman and everything,

you cannae get her to shut up nowadays, she's very talkative!

One of the most difficult challenges of coming out as transgender

is the impact it has on families and relationships.

It often comes as a dramatic shock when a wife, husband,

parent or child reveals their need to change gender.

The usual reactions - confusion, fear, anger and rejection -

can send relationships into turmoil.

Most don't survive.

Have you done something different with your hair?

THEY CHUCKLE I've had it cut!

She says she had her hair cut, but she only got the ends off it.

So it's not really a haircut, it's a trim.

For 34 years, Justine lived her life feeling like

a woman trapped in a man's body.

But she hid the truth from everyone, including her wife, Julie,

until one day, she could no longer keep her secret.

Well, I didn't know how to do it at all, I just panicked and went,

"You're married to a freak." Just out with it.

And she was like, "What do you mean?"

And I didn't know what to do then.

So it was just a case of telling her to go and have a look

on the webpage I had left for her.

And...well, lots of arguing, screaming.

Well, we were just...

You didn't understand why, and had it been a lie?

Yeah, had the last 15 years of everything we had been through

been a lie? Because obviously,

you're telling me that you weren't the person I thought you were.

It was a case of, is everything just lies, is any of this real?

Just the total disbelief of, "Where does this leave us?"

and, you know, "What has the last 15 years been about?"

And it was kind of, "What the hell do I do?

"Do I chuck Justin?"

Do I say, "You know what, there's the door - get!"

Justine and Julie had to explain to their three children, Samantha,

Cameron and Morgan, that their dad would soon begin living as a woman,

and through hormone treatment and surgery,

would physically change from male to female.

Their eldest daughter, Samantha, was only 13 at the time.

We weren't sure how fast things were going to change.

How to deal with it was a big one.

They're your parents,

you get concerned when you hear them wanting to be somebody else.

You're like, "Oh."

But that's major, it's not something you take like, "Oh, that's fine!"

It's life-changing, really.

Before long, news of Justine's transformation

reached the school playground.

At the beginning, it was horrendous.

I had the worst time possible.

I was picked on, it was horrible.

I remember getting off my school bus and seeing

a massive group of pupils, ready to try and go for me.

It was a case of, "What do I do? How do I get through this?"

I know I'm away to get a beating

for something that is outwith my control.

While the kids were facing problems at school,

mum Julie was struggling with the idea that her husband was now

living as a woman, and everybody knew.

I thought of it, very, very hard - "Can I actually do this?

"Can I live with the ridicule of other people?"

It wasn't what I felt, it wasn't what I thought, it was,

"How are other people going to react to us?

"How are other people going to deal with us?"

And then, once I got my head out my backside and realised that

it's got sod all to do with anybody else, it's our lives,

if they don't like it, tough. I'm not asking you to like it.

If you don't want to be my friend - go. The door's that way.

Those early months were particularly hard, but gradually,

the bullying stopped and Julie, the kids and the local community

began to accept Justine's desire to live as a woman.

It was difficult, but these things take time.

If you love somebody that much, you stand by them,

and you help them.

And I guess that's what happened.

People say, "Oh, so that makes you a lesbian now?"

Why? I don't fancy women, I don't fancy men, and I love Just.

So, lesbian - yes, by default, but is that how I define myself? No.

Justine and Julie are a rare example of

a couple who have managed to stay together through a transition.

Without family support,

the emotional strain of being transgender can cause

severe anxiety, depression and in many cases, suicide.

So, building strong friendships is essential to survive

the challenges that trans people face.

MUSIC PLAYS That's the one.

A bit of Silence Of The Lambs!

"It must put on the lotion!"

HE CHUCKLES

"It must put on the lotion!"

DRUMBEAT STARTS

This is the one where he's fucking dancing.

The fucking... The gown on.

He sticks his cock between his legs!

Anne is a 48-year-old bus driver from Perth.

She was born male, but began living as a woman in 2010.

Last year, she had surgery to physically transform her

from male to female.

Have you got a banana? I do. Have you got a BIG banana?

SHE CHUCKLES

Today, Anne is helping her friend Tadhg move into his new house.

I'm telling everybody I'm your date!

THEY LAUGH

You cheeky sod!

Tadhg is a transgender man, partway through his own journey

to physically change from female to male.

The two became friends when Tadhg split from his long-term partner

and Anne offered him a place to stay.

It wasn't Anne's fault, but I do remember pulling over on

the A9 and crying when I was bringing my stuff down, so...

I was in a very low place when I moved in, and I do remember

Anne knocking on the door, you know, "You want a cup of tea?"

THEY LAUGH

Um, and I kept myself to myself,

and Anne gave me lots of space and was a really good friend,

and I'm probably standing here smiling because of her.

They lived together for nine months,

Anne transitioning from male to female,

whilst Tadhg transitioned from female to male.

Toilet conversations before Anne's surgery...

Anne didn't always lift the seat. No.

So, you know, I would have to go in and dry off the seat and suchlike,

so I'm like, "Anne, when you're having your surgery,

"I'm going to make sure I piss on the seat..."

And we would laugh in the hallway and go,

"Nobody else can have this conversation!"

Anne and Tadhg's close friendship has got them through some tough

times, but it's no substitute for a meaningful romantic relationship.

And when you are transgender,

that is one of the hardest things to achieve.

# Just call me angel of the morning, angel

# Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby... #

Finding someone who is prepared to commit is difficult,

and approaching the wrong person can be dangerous.

Some guys will become violent if they find out that I used

to be a man, or just pure nasty.

That's what scares me the most.

I just want someone I can come home to,

or someone to cook for, someone to share my life, you know,

just to cry and laugh with -

you know, normal things that normal couples do.

Fingers crossed, it'll come true one day,

with someone who loves me and understands what it is

I've been through, and understands me.

I'm quite complicated at times, you know?

But another relationship in Anne's life means more to her

than finding a partner.

Until the age of 42, Anne lived as a man called Neville.

She served 12 years in the Army

before settling in West Wales with a wife and family.

When she came out as trans, her marriage collapsed.

She moved back to Scotland and hasn't seen her son Tyler since.

What I want more than anything is just to hold him again.

I used to missed the...

the hugs and cuddles we used to have on the sofa,

you know, with his dad.

I miss them.

Miss them so much.

But Tyler has never seen Anne as a woman.

He has only ever known her as his dad, Neville.

His biggest fear is...

that, you know, I'm some sort of freak.

If I could just sit down and speak to him and show him...

like, me, now...

then I can guarantee all that fear, all that...

you know, doubt, will wash away.

It's just getting to see him, that's the bloody problem.

Sadly, Anne's broken marriage and estrangement from her son

is a story that is all too familiar in the trans community.

MUSIC: Danger! High Voltage by Electric Six

Jenny is a 42-year-old transgender woman from Inverness.

She's been on hormone therapy for three years

and hopes to get her surgery sometime next year.

A little bit nervous! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't.

In her former life, Jenny served in the Navy, repaired helicopters,

worked on oil rigs and built and serviced rally cars.

I'll see you on the other side!

# High voltage!

# When we touch, when we kiss

# Danger, danger!

# High voltage!

# When we touch... #

Well worth a try! Was that good?

That was absolutely amazing.

Chasing adrenaline kicks is one thing,

but being trans, Jenny faces genuine fear and anxiety on a daily basis.

This, as a rush, doesn't come anywhere near, you know,

as close as the anxieties you feel when you walk out of your house

for the first time as a trans person.

When Jenny's marriage ended in 2009, she decided it was finally time

to come out and start living as a woman.

It's just one of these mad journeys you never see yourself

actually going down, but in the end, this is who I am, you know?

And I'm not going to change for anyone.

I've hidden it away and put it away for other people,

and, you know, I can't do it any more, this is me.

Get over it!

But when her transition from masculine to feminine

began causing her two young sons problems at school,

she was asked to stop contacting them.

She hasn't seen them since.

I think about them every day,

and, you know, I'll be here when they come round and, you know,

open arms, give them a big squish.

I do know my boy turned round and asked my folks

if I still had the same cheeky smile!

That's one thing that will never go away, so...

Yeah, and it's there in hope that they do come back.

MUSIC: Shopping by Pet Shop Boys

With the support of her wife and family,

Justine continued her journey from the husband and father

she had once been, to the wife and mother she would become.

Right, are we ready for this? You're going to have to hold that.

Be careful, because my phone's in there. Phone is life!

And her daughter Morgan has adapted well to life with two mums.

You liking that? Mm-hm.

Do you want to buy it for me, yeah?

Do you want to hoover the living room, too?

I said I'd hoover the house, yeah.

Cool. It's yours, then.

In May 2013, Justine finally underwent

gender reassignment surgery,

completing her physical transformation from male to female.

It's actually better than I thought it would be. See?

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

But in all honesty, see that dress you tried...tried to try on before?

It looked much worse.

Hee-hee, had to ruin that, sorry!

Along with her two daughters, Samantha and Morgan,

Justine and Julie had a 15-year-old son called Cameron.

In June, while Justine was recovering from her surgery,

the couple received some terrible news.

When we got up the stairs, we knew there was something,

because we could hear the helicopter...

and, um, then we heard the neighbours saying

there had been an accident up at the castle.

But we knew, when they said there had been an accident up there

and the search and rescue helicopter was out,

we just knew it was Cameron.

And then, before anyone could get a chance to go up,

any of the neighbours,

the police came and said that he'd fallen.

Cameron was with his friends, visiting a nearby castle,

when he accidentally fell from the cliffs.

He was airlifted to hospital in Aberdeen,

but there was nothing the medical staff could do to save him.

As a couple, you know, everything you've been through,

then lost my child and whatnot, and it's like, "You know what?

"We love each other, and that's the bottom line."

You know what, the things that are sent to tear you apart...

Can make you stronger. ..can make you stronger.

You know, there's plenty of people out there who need to know that,

you know, life is worth living.

No matter what it throws at you.

There's always more.

MUSIC: Cigarettes and Alcohol by Oasis

Marcus is 20 years old and lives in Leuchars, near Dundee.

He works as a chef in a local restaurant and likes to drink

and socialise on his days off.

I like going out, I like going gallivanting.

I'm a bit of a wild child, to be honest.

But one major aspect of his life

sets Marcus apart from other men his age.

He was born in a female body and, like Tadhg, is partway

through the process of physically changing from female to male.

I've been in this body for years.

I know the ins and outs.

I've got a lot of discomfort with things, but at the end of the day,

you want to have a penis, you want to have no chest,

you want to be a full-blown male. Deal with it.

One month ago, Marcus began testosterone treatment to

deepen his voice and encourage the growth of facial and body hair.

The latest stages of transition require multiple complex procedures,

including chest reconstruction, genital surgery and hysterectomy.

I've decided not to freeze my eggs.

Because I don't want to have to actually, like,

combine my eggs with my partner's and have kids.

And I explained to them that I was once a woman but now I'm a man.

All right, what's happening? 'Hi, did you text me?'

Yeah, I did, because I wanted to see you.

In the meantime, Marcus is as keen as any guy his age to meet

girls and have relationships.

Yeah, have you got, like, an answer for if you're going to go on a date with me or not?

But when you're trans-male,

relations with the fairer sex can be complicated.

Meet some girls and they're, like,

"Oh, I'm lesbian but I do like you but I can't because

"right now you're in a female body on your way to, like,

"change and get something that I don't want."

Then you go for someone that's straight and they're, like,

"Oh, well, I don't really, like... see you right now as anything,

"like, things would, like, progress right now.

"Because you've got the wrong parts."

You've got to take it with a pinch of salt,

you can't get upset about it. I don't care what people think.

I'm just myself, just a normal person.

Having a child reveal their desire to change gender is

a hard thing to understand.

Just one year ago, Marcus told his mum, Karen,

that he wanted to start living as a boy.

Just texted me saying, "I'm going to be a boy, I want to be a boy."

I'm like that... SHE SIGHS

"Really? Right, OK, whatever."

I suppose I thought it was a phase but...

it's clearly not! And you just have to go with it and...

you know, support you, I suppose, eh?

But having a son who was previously her daughter

took some getting used to.

Maybe it's for selfish reasons when I think,

"Oh, yeah, I'm not going to see my daughter getting married and

"I'm not going to, you know, see her having her first kid and,

"you know, I'm not going to be, like, a proper granny."

What do I do about, you know,

all these little baby photos I've got when she's clearly a girl

and she's so cute with her curly hair and your dimples and...

It's like my memories of...bringing my daughter up, I suppose, and,

yeah, it is a bit...

it's tough, but then I think, "Well, is that me being selfish?

"Or is that...

"me just being a mum, or...

"not understanding?" I don't know.

I really don't know.

The treatments and surgeries that lie ahead for Marcus on his journey

to change from female to male are a worrying prospect for his mum.

It's going to be tough. Going to be very tough.

Painful.

But...

It's obviously what she wants to do and what she feels strongly about,

so I just have to support and... try and be there,

try and understand, I suppose.

So, yeah, I do worry. Obviously, I'm a mum.

You always worry about your...kids.

Hoping they make the right decisions!

Cos this is quite a big...thing.

Thinking back to when I was actually pregnant with her, I did, like,

say from the very word go, all the way up until I physically

gave birth, and I said, "I'm having a boy, I'm having a boy,

"I'm having a boy."

Until...she was born.

And it's like, "Oh, you've got a girl." And I'm like, "Ooh, really?

"A girl?" And I remember saying, "Can you just double-check that?"

Because I was pretty sure I was going to have a boy, cos I wanted...

being a bit selfish, I wanted a mummy's boy, you know?

That wouldn't have happened.

And then I got a little girl but then obviously I'm...having a boy now.

So, yeah... So you're giving birth all over again.

No, I wouldn't go through that again.

I think it's going to be weird, the day, though, that I actually wake up with a willy.

Of course it's going to be weird.

Probably going to swing it about. You're not.

It'll be too bloody short to swing about!

Right, we're 328.

Right, this way.

Not the... THEY LAUGH

Bee is a 20-year-old make-up artist from Alloa.

Her boyfriend Joe is 23 and works as an IT technician

for a local business.

Here we are. Look...

Oh... Check it, yo.

They've been a couple for almost a year and live together in

Bee's parents' house.

This is lovely. This is well nice.

But what's unique about their relationship is that Bee is

a transgender woman and Joe is a straight guy.

What's in here?

Oh, my God, do they think we've got babies or something? No, that's if we argue.

Even though they were good friends first, taking the leap into

a full-blown romantic relationship was a big decision.

Especially for Joe.

I was actually so attracted to you that I couldn't even fathom it myself.

I tried to... tried to brush it away, I guess,

because I didn't expect anything to ever happen between us cos...

at the beginning, Bee, I sort of struggled with the idea of...trans,

cos I didn't understand it.

I sort of didn't care, but...

I don't think you knew that much about it. I felt like...

I cared more because of other people and what they would say.

You think it's different because everyone else thinks it's

something special, it's a novelty, or some folk don't agree with it.

I felt like that's why I struggled with it more, because if that stigma...

maybe not stigma, whatever the word, if that wasn't there,

I'd have gone out with Bee in a heartbeat.

At the age of just 14, Bee began living as a girl.

At 17, she began hormone therapy, but suffered severe mood swings

and depression as a side effect of the treatment.

All she just kept saying was, "I want to die, I want to die."

Just kept on telling mysel' that I just didn't want to be here.

I just wanted to get it over and done wi'.

Fortunately for Bee, she had supportive parents who helped her

through those difficult early years.

Most of the people I work with know that Bee is transgender and

know that I'm proud of her.

And there's times when you think, "Right," you know,

but to be honest, proud of her.

She's doing really well.

And now, with Joe's help, she's adjusted to life on hormones

and is persevering with her transition from male to female.

There's a few things I'm no' happy with but there's no things that I cannae get sorted.

Or I cannae...

deal wi'.

Like, obviously...the things that I hate, they're obviously hidden.

And I don't really talk to anyone about my insecurities because

I feel, like, once you start doing that, everybody starts to notice.

Like, I have really bad anxiety, like, really bad anxiety,

and then...then what can I do?

He's always there to help me. He's the best.

And I deffo would not be here...

definitely would not be here if it wasnae for Joe.

There's been many situations where he's helped me...

through many things.

Aye, he's a wee gem.

Er, how's it going? I'd just like to order some room service, please.

'You know that I'm straight. And you know I...'

Like, I'm not a homophobe,

but equally I prefer not to kiss another man or...

be right up in my face, you know. No, I get you.

So if I had any doubts or anything,

this would never be happening in the first place. OK.

That's what makes it so special and so...

..honest.

Why don't you carry it like this? Cos that looks fucking awful.

That looks normal.

There's adjustments to be made for anyone embarking on their

first serious relationship.

But Joe has also had to adapt to the negative effects of Bee's

lifelong hormone treatment.

Right, come on, press the button!

'What's the word for dealing with something really well?'

Do you think you deal with it really well?

I think I do, cos I've come to figure out when your moods are going

to change, what's going to happen, when you need to take your hormones.

I'm the one who gets up to do it. When to get me chocolate.

When to get you chocolate. Oh, my God, if...

If we don't give you chocolate, that's the worst thing.

There's us one day, walking a dog.

Or a cat.

Or a mouse.

I just love Bee so much, and I don't even think about her being trans.

I just... I love being around her.

It's got another door. THEY LAUGH

'You see other people talking about marriage and the future

'and you're like, "Oh, God, look at them, they're not going to last long." But that's what's different.'

I'm not worried about you talking about marriage,

I'm not worried about us talking about the future.

It's something I can't wait for, just to have a life like that.

At some point in time, everyone's going to be comfortable with

whatever choice they want to make.

And we won't be in this stupid day and age where you have to

worry about what folks think.

If you love someone, you love someone -

it doesn't really matter, like, what anyone else says.

Being transgender takes courage and determination, and is extremely

difficult without the support of an understanding partner or family.

There is medical help available

but very little on offer when it comes to support.

For trans-men like Tadhg, it's no different.

There isn't help out there and there wasn't help out there for me.

And I was...

on my own...

in a very, very low place, and I knew that I got through it

because I had the reserves, you know?

And I thought about anybody else that was going through that,

"Oh, my God, no wonder the suicide rate is high."

Because I know the struggles that I went through.

Tadhg established a transgender support group,

now the largest of its kind in Scotland.

He also helps people on a personal level wherever he can.

How you doing? Good.

Today he is visiting Marcus to discuss his testosterone treatment

and the delays in his upcoming surgeries.

I got told before I'd started it

that I'd be getting a lot more, you know, active,

a lot more energetic, but all I've wanted to do is sleep.

You're still technically in a loading phase and it takes a while

to get to that level where you know that you're functioning right.

I guess they were just kind of reviewing things

and trying to push for my top surgery.

Funding pack didn't help with that kind of crap,

because I'm getting stressed.

Marcus is waiting to be recommended for a mastectomy,

otherwise known as top surgery.

But in the meantime, to give his body a more masculine profile,

he has to wear a special vest known as a binder.

So this is my Underworks tri-top binder.

It's basically just to, you know, hide your chest.

It's not sexy, it's not flattering, it's...

Does the job, I suppose.

I'll take it off the second I'm going to bed.

And as soon as I get up in the morning, showered and that,

it'll just go straight back on.

Even when I'm getting ready for bed at night and I'll just put

a hoodie on, it's clearly obvious that I have a chest.

If I was wider and I had more of a gut, I think I could pass for,

like, for moobs.

Or mits, man tits, I like to call them.

Marcus now has a girlfriend.

They've been together for four months,

and although she accepts him as he is now, Marcus still feels

frustrated with the female body he was born with.

When I do go to get down to the business and get intimate

with my girlfriend, you kind of...

You know what you need to do and you know how you need to act,

but once you're in that situation where it's so intense that you...

There's, like, a switch in your brain just clicks and it stops

and you just have to take a step back and you're like,

"I can't do this, because... the parts aren't there."

You want to be able to, you know,

just whip your kegs off and go for it but you can't.

I haven't let somebody touch me, in my life, intimately.

And it's a massive wall.

And I would love to someday not have that.

As a trans-woman, Jenny volunteers in a similar way and

has adopted the role of a transgender Good Samaritan.

Despite her own problems, she travels the country supporting

confused, depressed and desperate people, wherever they need her help.

Today she's come to Aberdeen to see Ash, a young transgender woman

who lives alone and has been finding trans life especially hard.

Hey, how's it going? All good, all good. Good to see you.

You surviving? Uh-huh. That's good.

To the people Jenny helps in the trans community,

she's known as Mama Jen.

So I met Mama Jen four years ago.

She's been one of my biggest supporters since then.

Just every time I've needed help or I've been low or...

she's come up to Aberdeen, she's taken me to appointments,

helping me out with everything, er, my mental health.

If there's somebody else there,

you can go to places together and you don't feel so afraid or,

you know, just the abuse you can get sometimes.

But at least as a couple you can laugh it off together.

I just do it cos it's probably in my nature, so...

You know, that's what I do.

We'll get there. I don't know where we're going but we'll get there. Eventually!

Without the support of others,

the feeling of isolation and depression can be overwhelming.

Suicide rates in the trans community are staggering.

A recent survey found that 48% of trans people under 26 said

they had attempted suicide.

In her voluntary care and support role,

Jenny has literally saved people's lives.

One person I phoned an ambulance for four times on different

occasions, you know, and seeing somebody lying at the top of

the stairs completely out of it, and walking into somebody's room,

you know, after hearing somebody collapsed on the floor and

finding pills and wrappers all over the floor,

it's quite gruesome sometimes.

Whether you get a thank-you or not, it doesn't matter, you know.

To see somebody out and enjoying themselves with their group

of friends or whatever after it all, it's priceless.

Absolutely priceless.

In the absence of adequate support, Jenny, Tadhg and many like them

have created an unofficial care network within the trans community.

Jenny forms strong bonds with those she helps.

But it's no substitute for close family contact and the pain

of not seeing her own children.

I was told they were getting hurt at school because of me.

And...I couldn't dispute that.

So I've stayed back.

And it's been probably the hardest thing I've ever done.

Just to not see my own kids, because I'm different.

But I put out a wish on Facebook

that one day they'd get back in touch,

and my oldest son did, about four hours after I wrote the post.

It was his 13th birthday.

And...

I've been told I'm not allowed to send him cards,

I'm not allowed to send him presents or anything.

And there's nothing in the world more difficult actually, yeah.

But...

he got in touch, and...

Just the years are so different.

He's got a voice, he's got...

He's an adult, you know, he's so grown-up.

And I've missed, every day,

not seeing those boys.

But I love my boys, I will always love my boys,

and I just hope one day that they'll come and see us.

In Perth, Anne has decided to throw caution to the wind and

travel down to Wales in the hope that she can see her son Tyler

and begin to rebuild their relationship.

They've been estranged for five years

and Tyler has never met her as a woman.

Coming out was especially tough for Anne.

She experienced alienation and intimidation.

I had a knock at the door and there was two blokes stood there.

Pretty big blokes.

And they basically warned me if I didn't leave the village within 48 hours...

I wouldn't see daylight ever again.

They were not happy that a transsexual was living in their village.

And that scared the crap out of me.

I could just see the hate in their eyes.

Pure hatred.

If it weren't for my son, I wouldn't be going back down.

Simple as that. I'm doing this for my son.

I need to see him.

More than anything.

Cos I miss him.

Repairing the relationship with her son is an essential part of

Anne's transition from male to female.

She is determined to try and see him, despite the risk.

This is the first time Anne has returned to Wales

since her life was threatened.

The good friends she had were left confused and anxious about

what had happened to her, so she's come to visit her old pal Nobby

to introduce him to the woman she has become.

We did, yeah. It was just that thing going.

It was just... It was just a good rapport. Good friends. Yeah.

A very, very good friend.

And now...my good friend's come back, but now she's Anne. Yeah.

Doesn't make any difference. No. You're still my friend. Thank you.

When I first moved to Wales, I had no friends or anything.

My first day at work, he introduced himself straightaway.

"Hi, my name's Nobby," and, you know,

"What's a Jock like you doing in a place like this?"!

I think it was "ugly Jock"(!) Aye, ugly Jock, like, aye.

And that just completely broke the ice straightaway and, from then on,

we have just been firm friends. And to hear him say that is,

you know...very humbling.

I feel the only person I have let down, at the moment, is my son.

Give him a chance.

Let him make his own mind up.

It's all you can do. Yeah, I know. It's all you can do.

He's not a baby any more. He's a man now. Talk to him.

Talk to him sensibly. Listen to him. More importantly, maybe,

listen to him. Mm. Yeah. Find out what his fears are,

because until you know what is in his head,

you can't put the truth there.

Justine and Julie's marriage may have survived, but they still have

a way to go before they can feel truly settled as wife and wife.

The couple have been together since they were teenagers.

They met in 1991 and were married in 1997.

Now, that Justine has officially changed her name and gender,

they want a new marriage certificate and, some time next year,

plan to renew their vows...

That's my dress, if I can get it out. It weighs a ton.

..this time, as two women.

Which I can't wait to be wearing on the day.

That's... I mean, when I tried this on,

I just about cried.

The renewal ceremony will have special significance for Justine,

because this time, she will be a bride, rather than a groom.

Although I wanted to be there and I wanted to marry Julie,

I wouldn't change that, I wouldn't change anything that's happened,

I really wanted that to be me. To me, it's like completing everything.

I can't wait. I will just feel like a princess for a day.

Unfortunately, a loophole in Scottish law means that they can't

get a marriage certificate in Justine's new name,

because Julie is still officially married to Justin -

someone who no longer exists.

It is a minor loophole... Mm. ..but until they close it,

we can't stick that E... No. ..on the certificate.

That is all it is. One tiny little E... Mm-hm.

..to change everything.

My thoughts were, are the beginning, when I told Julie that I wouldn't

have a home or I wouldn't have a job, no family.

I would be on my own, really, and I don't think I would have

been able to transition on my own. I don't think I'd have made it,

at all. I don't know what would have happened,

if I'd have still been here. I don't know.

So...

JULIE WHISPERS

Mm-hm. I know.

In Wales, it is approaching time for Anne to finally meet her son Tyler,

for the first time as a woman.

He has agreed to see her, but has insisted that she come alone

and after dark.

HE SIGHS

What is going through your head right now, Anne?

Scared, in case he...

..just turns round and tells me to leave, when he sees me.

I mean, I have tried to...

..dress down as much as I can.

Not much else I can do now.

Just hope that...

..hope he accepts us.

Are you feeling as nervous as he is?

I am shitting myself.

I am absolutely cacking my pants right now.

We are on our way to see my son.

The first time in five years.

It's nearly killed me twice, this journey.

It has separated me from my son for five years.

I am not a religious person, but I am praying to God right now

that it all goes fuckin' well.

What would be the best outcome?

For him just to hug me.

For just him to...

..accept...

..that this is who I am and...

..nothing is going to change that.

If he doesn't, then I am just going to have to walk away

and it's something I'm just going to have live with the rest of my life.

I don't know how...

..but I will figure it out.

Oh, my God.

From that little 12-year-old boy that I left,

to see him... Oh, my God. It was just fantastic.

And he wasn't...

The minute he saw me, he...

He was like that, he was completely relaxed about it.

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy right now - it's unbelievable!

Oh, my God!

I've got my boy back.

'Since my surgery last year, it's been nothing but ups and downs.

'And more downs than ups.'

But this is just...

It has just made my day.

Absolutely made my fucking day.

Sorry for the language, but I am...

I'm so happy! You can tell!

Oh, my God!

I am SO happy.

I've got my boy back.

HE EXHALES DEEPLY

MUSIC: We Are Family by Sister Sledge

This weekend is Pride Edinburgh -

a celebration of diversity and personal identity

for the lesbian, gay,

bisexual, transgender

and inter-sex communities of Scotland.

There is still so much more to do.

Every day, there are young people who don't want to go to school

because they are being bullied. Every day, there are young people

who don't want to go to work because they are being bullied.

Now, the Scottish Parliament is one of the most modern, liberal

and free parliaments in the world, but we should use that opportunity

to reach out to the wider community and say, "We need your help, too."

CHEERING

Have a great day!

# I got all my sisters and me

# We are family... #

Marcus and Tadhg are here to increase visibility

and raise awareness of ongoing trans-male issues.

CHEERING

'It's about appreciating yourself. You've got to be who you are.

'Don't give a fuck about what anyone else says.'

I locked myself in the cupboard away for, like, ten years

and it made me miserable.

It's about having fun.

It's about getting to know new people, having a bit of banter,

causing a riot.

So...you've just got to be yourself.

How far on are you? Four months. Four and a bit months on T.

Right. On what? Testosterone. Oh, right, right. To... Aye.

Oh, sound. How are you getting on with it? Good.

It's, "Lock up your daughters," you know! What... Ohh!

So, what age are you?

Marcus has been on testosterone for four months and is finally

starting to see signs that the treatment is working.

'Got my first injection of libido on Monday.'

Getting a bit of facial hair. Extra body hair, on my legs.

It's mental. I'm like a gorilla. It's a bit wild.

It's weird waking up with tits and a hairy chest,

'but you get used to it. It's just getting where I want to be.'

The testosterone may be working, but Marcus still has up to five

major surgeries ahead of him, before he completes his

physical transformation from female to male.

For now, he must be patient and look forward to the day

he can finally feel comfortable in his own body.

When the time comes, it will be worth the wait.

But at the same time, it will be a bit stressful,

because I could have done it sooner. As soon as the whole lot is done,

I am just going to go and start a new life.

Go somewhere. Somewhere else where no-one knows me,

no-one knows my past.

I will be absolutely normal.

I'm not saying I'm not normal now, but I will finally be myself.

I will finally be able to do what I want. I'll be happy,

I'll be confident. I'll just be me.

Paw.

FORMULA ONE TV THEME PLAYS

Before she came out as trans, Jenny built rally cars

and took part as a navigator, with the aim of, one day,

competing herself.

ENGINE REVS

After her surgery, Jenny hopes to return to the rallying circuit -

this time, as a woman.

Dirt.

Right, that was a pretty good session.

I think you did very well. You have a very strong natural instinct

for driving. Thanks very much. You have got, er, very good awareness

of car dynamics. And not everybody has that.

Overall, I would... I have got pretty high hopes for you.

You are very, very welcome to the rallying community...

Thank you very much. ..and I wish you all the best with that.

ENGINE ROARS

What a sound!

Despite being apart from her children, Jenny keeps herself busy

and her positivity sees her through.

I hope, by May next year, to have my final surgeries, you know,

and have the surgeries out the way, so I can just...

build myself back up, get myself fit again and then carry on

and do stuff, you know? And get out there and play

with things like that, so...

ENGINE ROAR RECEDES

# La! #

METALLIC GRINDING

Ooh! If you can't find it, grind it!

'I don't get to see my kids, so I adopt everyone else'

into my life. If I can help others, it helps me, too.

It takes my mind off my own sort of worries and stuff sometimes.

So, cover all angles and help people out, if I can,

and that's it, so...

I can only be me -

and this is me.

Anne has finally got her son back in her life.

He has come to visit her in Perth,

so they can start to rebuild the strong bond they once had.

That might be in... I wonder if it's '90.

No, it cannae be. No, I'm too young.

Re-establishing a relationship with her family

was an essential part of Anne's transition from male to female.

'It feels fantastic. I'm over the moon.'

There was a time that I thought we would not get the relationship back

that we ever did have, but I feel we have gotten

a lot stronger, actually.

I feel that, too... Yeah. ..if I'm honest.

Yeah, I am very happy with the way it has turned out.

We have bonded a lot closer.

Check me out, with the beard.

TYLER LAUGHS

Oh, my God.

'I thought I would never fully understand it

'until I saw him in person and there are parts of me'

that, you know, did not think I could go through with it. Mm.

But I went through with it and, as soon as she came through the door,

we just went back to normal, really. I felt very comfortable.

I remember one of the things he asked me was,

"What do I call you now? Do I call you Dad or do I call you Mum?"

I goes just, "Call me Dad, Tyler, cos I am still your dad."

That's no' going to change. He can call me whatever he wants.

He can call me all the sods under the sun, if he wants,

you know what I mean?

I'm just happy he's back in my life and...

..words can't describe it. They really can't.

The loophole in the law has finally been amended

and Justine and Julie have come to the registry office in Peterhead,

to collect their new marriage certificate.

So, I have got your certificate here.

So, I will let you have a wee...

It's perfect. Thank you.

It must be exciting for you to finally get it?

At last. Yeah. It's been a long, hard slog to get here,

to see this one piece of paper.

Justine and Julie finally have an accurate marriage certificate.

After a long wait, they are, officially and legally,

wife and wife.

Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome.

Thank you. Take care. Thank you.

Sorted.

At the top, it has changed. It now says Bride and Bride,

rather than Bride and Bridegroom.

Er, my name, obviously, Justine Melanie.

And I think... That's it. Is that it?

Now, we just need to...

..put on our dancing shoes

and actually get round to reorganising... Yep.

..our renewal. Mm-hm.

Fix a date.

Rob a bank.

Yeah! And then, it's all done!

'We can go back to being wives.'

No legal "Hm, what are we?" Yeah.

We are legally wives.

We can just be normal-ish.

Yeah. Erm, speak for yourself(!)

Justine, Julie and their family have come a long way together.

It has been a difficult journey for all of them,

but they have stuck together and proved that a relationship

and a family can survive a wife or a husband changing their gender.

'I can understand why wives walk away,

'because it isn't easy and it is a lot to get your head round.

'It is a lot to take your family through.'

There is a lot of stigma still attached to it.

'But for me, I did not fall in love with Just the man'

'and Just is still the same person, irrespective of gender.'

Just is Just.

Rather than reject her, Julie has supported Justine

through her transition.

And they have a stronger, happier relationship, as a result.

'No, I don't miss the old Just.'

Nor me. Nah.

You're a better Just now.

MUSIC: Do You Realise? by The Flaming Lips

# Do you realise

# That you have

# The most beautiful face?

# Do you realise... #