Episode 5 Fix My Family

For a week the peaceful island of Lusty Beg

in the Lakelands of Fermanagh

has become home to three families desperate

to change their lives.

They're part of Northern Ireland's growing obesity crisis

and these families have decided to do something about it.

Isobel, Nick and daughter, Rachael,

Ryan, Ellie, Mum Cara and stepdad, Johnny

and mother and daughter, Rosie and Ellen,

have come to the island to take part in a tough regime

designed and delivered by a team of experts

to tackle the families' nutrition, fitness and well-being.

It's a week of heightened emotions...

SHE LAUGHS

SHE CRIES

..hard work...

Push! Push! Push!

..and honesty.

There's no harm in it, but it'd be nice to have a flirt.

So far this week the families have been tested to their limits.

Over five days they've been pushed physically...

On Friday, I want you to run a mile with me.

..challenged mentally...

I feel like saying, you know, I know I'm fat, but I'm not deaf.

..and old eating habits have been forgotten

as they've taken up a new regime of healthy eating and cooking

as part of this potentially life changing experience.

It's really nice, actually.

It's the family's last full day on the island

and what better way to start it than to take advantage

of the beautiful natural surroundings?

These two giant canoes lashed together are called Dragon Boats.

And there's room for everyone.

-There's water getting in!

-Bah!

LAUGHS

I think we might get slightly wet.

We introduced the Dragon Boats this week, purely because it was fun.

Let's take longer strokes.

It's a great way of exercising without realising you're doing it.

You use a lot of your core muscles - abs,

upper body and they're working out,

but you don't get that perception out on the water.

You're enjoying being out on the water.

# Lusty Beg is so good... #

ALL LAUGH

# Even though you get no food

# Even though you get no food

# But we're going to lose a few stone

# But we're going to lose a few stone

# Then you'll be able to see our bones! #

ALL LAUGH

Very good.

Looking ahead to tomorrow's return home,

clinical psychologist Dr Rachel Andrew

wants the children to think about coping strategies.

For this session we've got the idea of a suitcase

and this would be like a mind suitcase.

Does anyone have any ideas immediately

about what they want to put in their suitcase?

Could you draw items like

how you're eating, like, a strawberry or something?

Yeah, definitely, or even the feelings -

you might draw little faces with different feelings on.

Erm, absolutely, yes.

Well, shall we get started? Shall we draw some things,

or do some writing on the suitcases that you've got?

I know Ellie we were talking about caring for people and,

Ryan, I guess you see Ellie much more than anyone else.

Are there things that she does that you like?

-No!

-Well I know, because the two of you

-don't always get on very well, do you?

-No.

-Are you saying that there's nothing?

-No.

-Really?

-Yes.

Oh, that's really sad.

-I know.

-Do you think you will look forward to going home?

Yeah.

-I'm looking forward to seeing how I get on.

-Are you?

-Yes.

How confident are you, Ellie, about how you'll get on?

Well, I'm pretty confident,

because I'm quite proud of myself of what we did last night

-and proud of my brother as well.

-Right.

-Be quiet!

-You don't think Ellie's proud of you?

-It's not that,

she's just saying that in front of the cameras.

When everybody gets off it will be different.

-You don't think she's very genuine?

-No.

Ryan, can you think what Ellie might be upset about?

Don't know.

Doesn't sound like you're too...

..too bothered?

-No.

-No.

Ellie, I've not got a tissue, sweetheart.

ELLIE CRIES

You know your....

you and Ryan, how you don't get on, is that what's upsetting you?

Yes.

Because Ryan's not too sure, I guess, he's thinking he doesn't know

when you're telling the truth and not telling the truth.

Did you know that?

-No.

-So it was a bit of a shock to hear that?

Yes.

Can I have time out?

-Do you want a little bit of time on your own?

-Yeah.

That would seem OK.

Yeah, I thought

our relationship was sort of OK. Then just did that on TV.

Oh, I see.

-Do you worry people will think you're not a very good brother?

-Yes.

-How?

-I was sly to her.

Ah.

Do you think you are a good brother to Ellie then?

Well yeah, I thought so, but...

Apparently not.

During their week on the island, the families have been encouraged

to be hands on in the kitchen and learn some new skills.

You know that lovely bread you've been having for breakfast?

I want you to make your own loaf.

When I was thinking about the best way

to approach food for the families,

I really thought it was very important to make them hands on.

You don't need a bread maker. It's basic ingredients.

It's cheap as. It'll save you money...

'So we're not just giving them everything.'

It's not like a holiday - they have to step up and get involved.

And when it's baked you can take it back to your own lodge.

How does that sound? Yeah.

That's really important, I think, because if they sit out,

when they go back they're not going to be any further on.

It's stone ground, extra coarse, if possible. A pound of that.

Half a pound of pinhead - which is porridge oats.

Two level teaspoonfuls of bicarbonate of soda,

two level teaspoons of salt and a walnut of butter.

OK, pick up your salt and pour it on your pinhead.

Pour in your walnut of butter.

Stir in all your butter.

make sure all the butter is evenly broken up.

If you would now like to add your pint of buttermilk.

Good girl.

She's an experienced stirrer!

It's a little bit hard.

-After your working out...

-It's a work out.

Nick if you want to pour that into, this is a pound loaf,

and these are brilliant liners, so guaranteed to come out.

If you want to pop that in there.

And this is cooked at about 180 in the oven for about 40 minutes.

If the bottom, the base, sounds solid - it's ready.

And then get a skewer just to test it.

Pop it in there.

All right. Put it in.

Right in the centre there. Watch your fingers.

Good girl. Excellent.

Good. Excellent.

The bread recipe is one thing the families can take home with them.

But for the adults, in their group session with

Clinical Psychologist, Dr Raman Kapur,

thoughts of returning to normal life

are also making them think of what they'll be leaving behind.

It would take very little to make me cry today.

I feel very emotional.

Because I feel very emotional today, I feel very hungry or I feel empty.

But it may be that on Saturday morning there will be

an emptiness that you've got to manage.

It's the loss of this. The loss of the five of us and the kids.

Yes, that bond seems to be very strong in the group.

So, Raman, do you do a summing up at the end, or anything?

No, it will be really as we are.

So you have this opportunity

and tomorrow morning to say what you want to me

and whatever that might be.

I think, for me, it's been very helpful.

Because you said at the start, the answers are inside you.

Although you talk to friends or whatever,

you don't really let them see the side

you're less proud of, or the insecurities

that I would have or whatever.

But I feel I can sit in this group and say,

I'm worried about this, or I'm worried about that.

Sometimes I can't work out how it works.

You know, or how it has worked, but...

sometimes when you can't work out a thing

it's better saying it's working and let it go at that.

I haven't got to that stage where I feel I've fully opened.

-If that's the right word.

-I feel like I have

opened up to Raman, I feel to bring it to a close for me,

I need more of a return from you.

I think when things do come into your head you don't give yourself

the permission or the authority to say it.

What I'm trying to highlight is it's hard to believe in your own self appraisals.

You're either looking to me or to others to do that.

Self praise is no praise at all.

That is inevitably going to mean that confidence is never going to be built.

Because good things never get digested.

Confidence is going to have to be built by other people building that confidence.

Yes, but that's what, you're giving that away then, I think, you're giving that authority away.

I think the penny has dropped for Johnny and Rosie.

I think it's halfway there with Cara.

But I think it's still hovering over Isobel and Nick's mind.

I hope they do a bit of thinking from today and with the individual sessions

maybe they can move forward themselves.

Because if they don't move forward themselves, then in a sense I don't want to collude with them,

think that someone can always do it for them.

Giving the children confidence that they can do things themselves is key to success in the future.

And this can start with something as easy as taking control of todays lunches.

OK so what we're going to do this lunchtime is a little bit different,

because we're going to get all of you to do lunchboxes for yourselves and for your parents.

Do you each want to do your own box?

You start with your wrap.

I will tell you though that the adults aren't getting any chicken,

so you guys can finish the chicken between you.

Chicken!

For the adults there's spinach & feta in filo pastry.

Add a hard-boiled egg and some fruit and you have a nourishing and healthy meal in a box.

Packed lunches don't have to be a sandwich, packet of crisps and a chocolate bar.

And with a bit of thought it's not hard to make something very simple feel a bit special.

So if you grab a seat for a second.

-Ow mum you poked me in the eye.

-Sorry.

Sorry.

Come on.

Are you alright, pet?

OK, can you get round there?

Yeah.

Ryan you're going to miss lunch.

He can cry.

He won't cry, he won't cry. Promise.

Good boy.

Right, excellent.

OK the team's back together.

What d'you do that for?

Kicked me in the foot.

Are you sure?

Sure.

There will be no lunch.

Straight after lunch, Cara, Johnny and the kids have a much needed family session with Dr Rachel Andrew

An incident just happened there now which I am really cross with Ryan about.

I came out, I hadnt seen Ryan all morning and I came in behind him and done this to his hair.

And you poked me.

And he said I poked him in the eye.

Which I didn't, because there were several witnesses.

Ryan then left and went outside.

He then came in and took his foot and kicked me of my sore ankle.

I didn't know it was your sore foot.

And he denied doing it and again there were several witnesses.

No, I didn't deny doing it!

Right.

I'm really angry that you decided to kick me where it really hurts.

Mum, I didn't know that was your sore foot.

It doesn't matter. You shouldn't be kicking me Ryan.

Why would you kick me?

Do you not think I'm good to you?

Cos you poked me.

-Do you think that I purposely poked you in the eye?

-Yes.

You know Ryan doesn't want to go to his Dad's on a Saturday,

at times the teacher's looking at him in school.

What is it all about?

Right.

Where does he want to go?

Yeah, that sounds, I suppose that little summary it sounds like then there's a lot going on for Ryan

both at school and with Dad and at home.

Every week it's the same, "Do I not have to go to my Dad's"?

And for me it's very important that the relationship stays there.

Every Saturday it's 11 to 7.

What's changed there Ryan for you as you've got older then?

I wouldn't want his Dad to think that Ryan was against him.

No.

It's not that, I'm scared that whenever I go to my Dad's,

Mum and Johnny are going to go somewhere fun.

You don't want to miss out?

Yes.

Maybe there might be some flexibility about that, Ryan,

so if there was a week where you wanted to see Dad at a different time...

I don't know, could that happen?

Yeah, I suppose.

Maybe on a Sunday.

Yeah.

To make sure you didn't miss out?

Yeah cos Saturday I think is more of a you know where I can do something fun.

Go to the library, you quite like doing that.

Maybe we need to change the day then

His Dad has always said if he doesn't want to come,

he's coming to the age, it's fair enough, it's whatever he wants.

So his Dad would be open to that.

I don't see that as a problem.

Sunday I was a bit selfish, I wanted you at home with me.

Sundays I kind of I see as a family day.

Never any much fun Sunday.

Boring day, so maybe you prefer to go to your Dad's on a Sunday?

Yeah.

Would that work?

Wow have you just come to a solution as a family?

Pocket money and Saturdays off.

You're going to have a great time on a Saturday with money in your pocket and going up the town.

Wow.

Ryan may have tried to tell me this all along,

but I've been too busy doing everyda life things to really be listening.

I know it's always been a problem, but I've never sat and got to the root of it.

I don't think I have you know, so I can't blame Ryan altogether for it.

A healthy lifestyle is as much about the family dynamic as it is about food and exercise.

The experts are working towards all the families finding a new balance in their lives.

Amanda and her team believe that a more positive outlook will create strong foundation

for the healthier future the familie are searching for.

For Cara and the kids it's a real breakthrough.

Where are you going?

We're going to deliver bread.

-That's the bread.

-Oh thank you very much.

And dinner's at six.

OK bye.

A final one-on-one session with psychologist Raman is 45-year- old Isobel's last chance

to take advantage of his expertise.

I hope you don't mind I've came with some notes.

Good, good.

Because half the time I come away and I'm thinking things

and getting another thought and then I've forgot.

Part of me feels have a reached a point where I feel done?

That's it, I should just sit back and enjoy...

my food without doing any thing else.

I mean if that's what I do enjoy, why can I not become the...

what the...

The homely aunt, for want of a better word.

Being loving, homely.

-Kind of a mother thing?

-Yes.

You know I suppose it's easier to to invite friends around, or family around and to put on a nice spread.

Bring out the good wine.

And then be praised for that.

You know, "We went around Isobel's and had a lovely meal, had a lovely bottle of wine."

That's sort of would be...

what I would take pride in.

Maybe one of the few sources of feeling good that you've developed.

Which to some extent is about pleasing others and keeping other people well fed,

which is kind of fine, but where do make sure that you're well fed and looked after?

I think that gets totally forfeited, postponed.

Maybe it is age-related as well.

Because...

You don't go out as much, you don't socialise as much and you socialise in a totally different way.

So it's alright as you get older to go out and have that nice meal

and not worry about the inches piling on.

But then sometimes I would get very sort of shallow and say,

no I do care, I do want to be the way I used to be.

It would be nice, I mean there's no harm in it,

but it would be nice just to have somebody to flirt with you.

And feeling the safe, ugly fat person in the corner that's just good to talk to.

A bit of you wants your femininity back?

Yes.

Fuller really.

I think Isobel is thinking about the idea of retrieving her old self as she called it.

Whether that's her feminine self or her womanly self.

Or her intelligent self.

Cos actually when she gets a chance to think things through

and put things together she does actually manage that.

I mean the fear of failure really has disabled her for such a long period of time.

Acknowledging these needs in herself is progress for Isobel,

but will she be able to translate those feelings into action?

Cara's motivation meanwhile is riding high.

And John's got some new exercise devotees on his hands.

How have you got on as a family with the fitness aspects we've done?

I kind of liked the week, because it wasn't like a boot camp.

It hasn't scared me, it is something I can see myself doing.

How have you got on Ellie?

I enjoyed it.

You enjoyed it.

Yeah.

You know what else I noticed you doing and enjoying and I don't think you knew it was excersise?

Tennis.

That's not exercise.

It is exercise.

Getting the ball and stuff.

That's definitely exercise.

What things do you think are goals that you are going to be able to set to try and get those exercises?

I think me and Cara's already talked about getting bikes for the two of us,

because the kids have bikes.

So we can join in. Go on cycle ride together.

Half an hour every evening we are going to try and aim for something.

Good. Without a doubt that's brilliant.

Hold it for a moment.

Come on, back to the middle.

How's the week gone for you so far, fitting the fitness aspect in?

I've really enjoyed it and I've been able to do thing here that I never thought I would be able to do,

because of a back injury.

I've actually loved it, I didn't think I would, but I do.

You're reaching forward and down to your leg.

We need to set you some short and long term goals for when you leave.

We have two of the most beautiful beaches in Northern Ireland,

so when it comes to walking, we have no excuse.

We've got tennis courts.

You have tennis courts as well.

Yeah, we've got a good yoga school.

So I see no reason why we can't incorporate those three things as a regular part of our weekly life.

Definitely.

Quality.

You work towards it.

That's it.

How did you get on with just the fitness aspect this week?

I thought it was going to be a lot worse.

I thought I was going to be a boot camp type of thing.

And you were going to be really working us.

Not that you haven't been working us!

So have you found that most importantly the fitness we have done this week has been achievable?

Is that right?

Yes.

Looking good!

What can we put in place, what goals are you going to set yourselves?

I'm going stop paying the gym my monthly money for nothing and start using it.

Anything you particularly enjoyed Rachael?

The water aerobics.

And you know what? I'm never playing tag with you again either!

I've never run so much.

Good team work good chase down, perfect.

People were jogging for 40 minutes - you were sprinting for 40 minutes!

Nick, you're a member of the gym also aren't you?

Just trying to get you to...

It's trying to get the motivation to get my lazy ass out of my bed in the morning.

Yeah, it's just seting that alarm clock an hour earlier,

and getting up and getting out and doing it.

We know what we're doing.

We just need to do it.

While the families enjoy an evening BBQ, the therapists meet to discuss progress so far.

So let's start with Cara and Johnny their kids, just in terms progress that's been made.

From my point of view, with Cara, I do feel that we have had a significant shift

from the start of the week.

It's like the reality has dawned, she's trying to figure it out for the long term.

I think big message that's got through to her is that change is ordinary hard work.

Johnny looks very different, he has definitely lost a bit or weight, but more than,

that there is something else, it is like he's nourishing himself properly for the first time.

There is a sparkle in his eyes. He had got life in his eyes.

Now the kids, Ryan and Ellie, individually they have both moved on,

but I think collectively there is still quite a troubled relationship there.

How are they going to figure that out?

Cara said she never really thought about the children as two separate individuals.

She just saw them as the children and spent time with them as a pair,

so I think by dividing them up, giving them both some separate time,

if she can take away that element of competition between the two of them,

then they can perhaps begin to like each other really.

Let's chat about Nick and Isobel and little Rachael.

Nick, I think for me there's something being held back.

I think he came to the island with mixed feelings.

And I felt at the start he did give a bit of himself.

But I kind of feel he's brick-walled at the minute, he's almost closed down.

My theory at the minute is that he feels he's given away a bit too much.

With Isobel she is lovely to be around, she has got quite a big aura about her.

I've not had as much kind of feedback as to where she is.

I'm actually extremely happy in how she's come on so much.

I mean we first spoke on the first day when the whole thing came out

where she tried a bit of training before she came here.

And she unfortunately left in tears.

And when we spoke today, seven days on, she said achievable.

And that's a big thing, that's a word we want to hear.

When it comes to Rachel, I must admit I find her like a little sunshine.

I do think at the beginning of the week she was talking about some definite anxieties

and I think perhaps what we've seen is her now grow a little bit more in confidence

and she seems to have a clearer idea of what she's learnt here, what she wants to take home,

what she wants the whole family to put into place.

So yeah, I feel quite positively about Rachel.

So last, but definitely not least we have got Rosie and Ellen.

I've got to say I find being around either of them just really relaxing.

I think the rose in Rosie is blossoming.

She has connected her head really to her belly and in an emotional way.

And I think she'll do well.

Yeah.

Of all of them I think Rosie has a clear path of where she is going to go from here.

And of course Ellen is a product of her mum.

Clearly, she has had that great backbone of her mum being so kind and loving and caring.

But that softness I think is turned into strength a bit more with Ellen.

I've started to see that bit more feisty than I initially had her down as.

Ellen me, I just think she has got so many different qualities that are going to stand her is good stead.

And I don't think you can under estimate some of the difficulties she has faced.

So although I think she has this sort of quiet calm exterior,

I think underneat that there is a real kind of resilience, real determination about her as well.

So it's the last night and it's been absolutely brilliant.

I feel like a new person.

I feel like I'm cleansed from the inside out.

The journey so far this week has been interesting.

The group sessions with Raman I think were no more than a group of people chatting amongst themselves.

That could have been done over a cup of coffee.

He has his own style, which I didn't think that I benefitted very much from.

I don't want to leave.

It only feels like I've been here two days.

It's madness.

Absolute madness.

Next time.

Will everybody manage the Golden Mile Challenge?

Their time on the island is over.

And how will they cope back in the real world?

The hardest thing for me has been resisting temptation.

Even watching people drink a cup of tea and people say,

"Oh you get used to it and you get to you couldn't drink tea with sugar,"

I could drink it I am telling you!