Happy People Celebrate Christmas The Call Centre


Happy People Celebrate Christmas

At Swansea's third-largest call centre, CEO Nev Wilshere and his staff are in festive mood. Hayley is organising the office party and Nev is putting together a Christmas choir.


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Transcript


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This programme contains strong language.

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Over a million people now work in UK call centres,

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with an average age of just 26.

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-PHONE:

-I'm not interested, thanks.

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-PHONE:

-I think it's all a scam, to be honest.

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They are the factories of our time.

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But here, at the third-largest call centre in Swansea,

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the only things being made are the cold calls we dread.

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PHONE: No, no, no.

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-PHONE:

-Stop bloody bothering me.

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-PHONE:

-I don't want these calls,

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especially not at 7 o'clock in the evening.

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Holding the reins is CEO Nev Wilshire.

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With over half of his sales agents under 25,

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Nev has developed a unique approach

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to keeping his young workforce on their toes.

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Sum up my management style?

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Get out of my office!

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The yawn at the back, get out!

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Probably Napoleon, dictator.

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Tell her she's sacked, then.

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But his troops loved him.

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He's awful, absolutely awful.

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And with a sales floor simmering with stress...

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-PHONE:

-Piss off.

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This ain't funny - no, this ain't funny,

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cos he could have broke it.

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I'm going to kill someone.

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-..sex...

-Rarrr!

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..and success...

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I'm almost getting a little excited in my pants right now.

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SHOUTING

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..there's never a dull day

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when you work at this Swansea call centre.

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There's winners and there's losers and that's it.

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CHEERING

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To be in charge of 700 people sometimes is daunting,

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but I love it, absolutely love it.

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Welcome to Nev's world.

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MUSIC: "Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney

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# The moon is right... #

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Well, what we're looking at doing is helping you save money,

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maybe you can save a little bit of money for Christmas coming up?

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-PHONE:

-Everybody seems to want to save me money, but no thank you.

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Yeah, this time of year, we...

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DIAL TONE

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It's Nationwide Energy,

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it's regarding schemes to replace boilers.

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-PHONE:

-No, thank you.

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# Santa baby, now hurry down the chimney tonight. #

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OK, it's Christmas, who's in charge here?

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For call centre CEO Nev Wilshire, it's been a hell of a year.

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He's lost contracts and had to let some staff go,

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but Nev thinks nothing rallies the troops

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quite like Christmas.

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Right, see this shit?

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We've got Christmas decorations coming up now, right?

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Adorn the place then -

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and don't tell me you're busy, cos I know.

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I haven't had a lunch break, Nev.

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But Nev's doing Christmas and lunch on a budget.

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-Does anybody want a cockle?

-No, thank you.

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-She can't have one, she's pregnant.

-Pregnant lady's getting a cockle.

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She can't have one!

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Not stuffing it up there.

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-Do you want to buy a cockle?

-Ugh, that's disgusting.

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They're not disgusting, they're cockles.

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I do love Christmas -

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Christmas is a really good, happy time

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and it's a time of bringing people together.

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And the camaraderie that we have in the call centre

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gets galvanised that little bit more.

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You've got the happy buzz around the place

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and, er...you just ride the wave of it.

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It's a little while till Christmas,

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but Santa's sent Nev an early present.

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Former employee and part-time stand-up comedian Griff

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has come to ask for his job back.

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I left about five months ago,

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I wanted to get more involved in the comedy side of things, you know,

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um, after I put on a few nights.

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It was going all right, but if I was working and doing that,

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then I could use my own money, just to subsidise it a bit.

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But not working and doing that,

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I was just putting pressure on myself, you know?

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I really didn't want to come back, but, you know.

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I've been living off £28 a week,

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hence I've lost a stone and a half,

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so yeah, I have to find a job, really.

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-Griff.

-How you doing?

-How are you, son?

-Not bad.

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-How you keeping?

-I'm all right.

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How have you got on? How's the stand-up comedian thing going?

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-You're doing a bit, I heard?

-Yeah, it's doing all right.

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There's no money in it, you know?

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-I'm looking for a job, I am, Nev.

-Really?

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NEV LAUGHS

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Ah, so, when do you want to start? What do you want to do?

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Monday, ideally.

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There's always a job here for you, I told you that.

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But as well his a job, Griff's also after a loan.

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What I want is to start work, borrow some money

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so that I can pay my rent and things till I get paid.

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What do you need? About 800 quid then, is it?

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Around that figure, the 800-1,200 mark.

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800 to 1,200 - haggle somewhere around a grand

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and call it quits, thanks very much.

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-There it is.

-Signing on.

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Signing-on fee for Griff.

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That's one of the reasons I like Nev, know what I mean?

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I know he wouldn't have done that for everybody, you know.

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I think that's fair enough.

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He did it because I've earned him money in the past.

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For Griff, ditching the call centre for stand-up comedy

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didn't quite work out as planned.

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I thought, "I'll get my comedy nights together", and all that.

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That's just as fucking hard work

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as being up in that fucking nut-house, do you know what I mean?

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It's just going... You just go from dealing with one group of idiots

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to a fucking different one.

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And with four kids to buy Christmas presents for,

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being broke is no laughing matter.

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How skint am I? Well, completely skint.

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Before you know it, it'll be Christmas,

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you know what I mean?

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Then you're working to pay for Christmas,

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and all that bullshit, you know what I mean?

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Is it a loss of face, going back?

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I never really looked at it like that.

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When you've worked in telesales for ten years,

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your face has been lost long ago.

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For Nev, running a multi-million-pound business

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means keeping to a tightly managed schedule

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where time is money.

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Remember - proper planning prevents piss-poor performance.

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Basics, the science of selling.

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And proper planning includes December's most important event.

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We're trying to organise our Christmas party

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which is actually an annual conference

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cos an annual conference is tax deductible

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and a Christmas piss-up isn't.

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So we're organising an annual conference

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and I'm going to invite one of the best party organisers of all time

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to coordinate this for us.

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# ..All by myself any more... #

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Hayley Pierce - she may have ADHD and struggle to get to work on time,

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but one thing Nev can count on her for

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is a good knees-up.

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We got our Christmas party head on now.

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We've got to take it serious.

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We don't want them to think, "Fucking hell, the party's there?"

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We want them to walk in and be like, "Wow, fair play."

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What it all comes down to, we can't actually start planning

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-till we know what our budget is.

-How much do you want?

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I don't know - that's up to you, innit?

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How much are you giving?

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Five grand?

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-Right, is that what it is, five grand?

-Five grand, then.

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But then if it comes to a bit more,

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we'll just ask him then, "Is that fine?"

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How much beer can you get for five grand?

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-We're going to ask.

-You can buy a lot of bottles.

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But it's not going on all on beer.

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-I think a stage is going to cost...

-We want a snow machine.

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..is going to cost a grand.

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Blue drapes, and then, like, snow coming from the ceilings

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and, like, chandeliers and ice sculptures and...

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Chocolate fountains - we've priced all this.

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Come on, we have to just get on with this.

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-Think we've sorted this now?

-Yeah.

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Sort it out, go on - out!

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# It's not unusual to be loved by anyone... #

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It's Monday morning, and Griff's first day back at work.

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Back to the call centre, resume my career.

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See how quickly I can get myself wrapped up

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into some sort of psychological nightmare.

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But it's a dream start for Griff,

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as he quickly gets sales on the board.

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You do qualify, and the boiler's replaced free of charge

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for something far more energy-efficient.

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My name's Richard Griffiths -

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a lot of people in work call me God,

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most people call me Griff.

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OK, mate - well, lovely speaking to you

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and we'll come and see you tomorrow now between 6 and 8, OK?

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But Griff's unusual phone manner

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doesn't always go down well with the management.

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Just a quick call to see if you qualify for a new boiler.

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-LADY WITH FOREIGN ACCENT:

-No, I don't want a new boiler.

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Pardon?

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I don't want a new boiler.

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-MIMICS HER ACCENT:

-Why is that?

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Hi there - is that Mr Sopwith?

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-PHONE:

-No.

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Are you the home owner on this number?

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No.

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Are any of the home owners available?

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No.

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Do you know the capital of France?

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No.

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All the best, take care.

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I'm like a thoroughbred race horse, do you know what I mean?

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I haven't been out of the stables for a while...

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AUTOMATED MESSAGE: Hello, your call cannot be taken at the moment,

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so please leave...

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..and technically should have been shot.

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You've got to clear it -

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got to go through the appropriate channels, haven't you?

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I just walked in after lunch and heard you say to a customer

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"I'd hardly be ringing you up first, sir, if I was going to burgle you."

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Well, he was suggesting that he wouldn't give me his address

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in case I went to burgle his house.

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I was pointing out to him that burglars don't do that.

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I know that, I know that.

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Maybe those type of sales skills

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which were perfectly suited to the selling of yesteryear

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need to be tempered just slightly.

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So in other words, you're saying to Ronaldo,

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"Go out, be the best player in the world,

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"but calm down on the step-overs."

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No, I'm not saying that - keep the step-overs,

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I'm saying don't dive and don't roll around on the floor.

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Have you ever phoned somebody up ahead of burgling them?

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To make sure his cold callers are the best in the business,

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Nev has a company magazine

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keeping staff up to date on all the latest sales techniques.

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It's a nice glossy magazine

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that the marketing department put together -

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it just waves the flag for different departments

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and what they're doing and who's up to what.

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The Dialler covers hot topics

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from business acquisitions to structural personnel changes,

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but there's one section that remains a firm favourite with the staff.

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Then we've got the back page

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which has got, like, the gossip around the company.

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Apparently, there's a developing romance, Nev -

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J and J down on NES, do you know who they are?

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-No. J and J?

-Yeah. J and J...

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-Right.

-..have got a blossoming romance.

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And I've missed it!

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I've missed it, hell's teeth.

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The mysterious J and J rumour

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soon sets tongues wagging around the building.

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Which young couple are involved in a new developing romance?

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-Can't work that one out.

-J and J.

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Don't know who J and J is.

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Rumours in any part of our industry spread like wildfire -

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it is nigh-on impossible

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to keep a relationship in the call centre quiet,

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nigh-on impossible.

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Especially with me around when I find out.

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J and J.

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I really - it's really puzzling me, this one is.

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Get on a mission and find out who J and J is.

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I'm telling you, I know everything. I'll find out, don't you worry.

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Even Nev has put the small matter of running a company

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on the back burner in the noble pursuit of the truth.

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I think I'll crack the case on this one.

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There's a certain team leader down there,

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not a million miles from here,

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wandering around like the cat who's got the cream.

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Last one we need to know is the name of the tariff,

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then what we'll be able to do...

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Fancy Marketing doing that.

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Nothing to do with you, was it?

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-Johnny and Jodie!

-Johnny and Jodie.

-Ah, got it!

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Johnny and Jodie - mm...

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Finally, the cat's out of the bag.

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-This is public now, innit?

-Innit?

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-That's what the J and J stands for.

-Everybody knows.

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-Have you seen this?

-What?

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I did have a fatherly chat with Johnny

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and just says "Be careful."

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The last person she went out with from work -

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as far as I know, it was certainly one of the people

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she went out with from work - she ruined him.

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And, er...I could do without Johnny being ruined,

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with his head all over the place, when he's running a team.

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It's like Posh and Becks, innit?

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Posh and Becks - Lady and the Tramp.

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Obviously I'm the lady, am I?

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FAKE LAUGHTER

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Funny.

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# Deck the hall with boughs of holly

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# Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

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# Tis the season... #

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Oh, hello, is that Mrs Curlett?

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Hi there, good afternoon, my name's Christian.

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# Laughing, singing "Let's be jolly

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# "Deck the halls in boughs of holly"

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# Rockin' around... #

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Nev has a long-held belief

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in the power of song as a motivational tool -

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even being in a meeting is no excuse for not joining in.

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Oh, this is a good room for singing.

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Yeah, it's the life insurance meeting.

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# Joyful all ye nations rise

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# Join the triumph of the skies

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# With the angelic... #

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'I like singing and I promote singing.'

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It raises the spirits and the energy levels

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in the call centre.

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I'll just...

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Thank you. You carry on now.

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That was, um...a very important meeting going on in there

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that I just rudely interrupted.

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Those people cost a lot of money to bring in today

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to train our staff and, er...

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Well, at least they're feeling Christmassy now.

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Nev's planning a festive sing-song at the call centre.

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He's hoping occasional church singer Steve

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is the right man to lead the way.

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# Don we now our gay apparel

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# Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la... #

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Oh, hi, is that Mrs Westward-Gummer?

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I couldn't think of anybody better to head up the choir than Steve.

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He is enthusiastic, he's a lovely, lovely guy,

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he will draw the best out of people, get people smiling,

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get more results - happy people sell.

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Well, we know music can bring enjoyment to people's lives

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and it does actually give people confidence

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and in my experience, if people have confidence

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then they can frankly do whatever they set their mind to -

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it's a corny thing, but they can conquer the world.

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Steve wastes no time scouring the call centre for vocal talent.

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-Hi, can you sing, by any chance?

-Hm?

-Can you sing?

-No.

-Oh.

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Can you sing at all? Have you ever sung in a choir?

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Never sang in a choir, never done that.

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-Not been in a school choir?

-No.

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I would do it for a laugh and then probably get bored

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cos, after like the first hymn - or hime - what are they called?

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Hymn - after the first hymn,

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you'd be like, "Yeah, I'm bored now."

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# Rudolph the red noised reindeer...

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HE MUMBLES

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# ..friends... #

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I don't know the whole words.

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Right, yeah - let me just put a question mark there then, George.

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In a land famous for its choir singing,

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there are some hidden gems.

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# Santa baby Slip the sable under the tree... #

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But despite being a trained singer,

0:15:530:15:55

22-year-old liaison manager Kerri suffers from serious stage fright.

0:15:550:16:01

I haven't really sung in front of anyone

0:16:010:16:03

for about three or four years, so I get like quite shy doing it

0:16:030:16:08

unless I sort of have to get up on stage and have no other choice,

0:16:080:16:11

then I'll do it -

0:16:110:16:13

or if I'm drunk.

0:16:130:16:14

Steve's keen to dazzle Nev with Kerri's angelic voice,

0:16:150:16:19

though Kerri has some reservations.

0:16:190:16:22

-Get in there.

-I'm in, I'm in.

0:16:220:16:24

It's just singing in front of Nev, isn't it?

0:16:240:16:26

If you mess it up once,

0:16:260:16:27

you'll hear about it for the rest of your life.

0:16:270:16:30

Any, any idea what key you want to sing that in?

0:16:300:16:33

Whatever key comes out of my mouth.

0:16:330:16:35

We'll go for C sharp, then.

0:16:350:16:37

Once my ears start bleeding, you can stop.

0:16:370:16:41

# Silent night

0:16:410:16:45

# Holy night

0:16:450:16:48

# All is calm

0:16:480:16:51

# All is bright

0:16:510:16:54

# Round yon virgin mother and child

0:16:540:17:01

# Holy infant, so tender and mild

0:17:010:17:07

# Sleep in heavenly... #

0:17:070:17:10

Can I do that again?

0:17:100:17:12

-Your breathing was shite.

-I know.

0:17:120:17:14

You're meant to be a professional singer.

0:17:140:17:15

-Can I do it again?

-Quite shy and quite quiet, isn't it?

0:17:150:17:18

-Nerves, it's nerves.

-That's the reason why.

0:17:180:17:20

You'll have more nerves than that, singing in front of everybody.

0:17:200:17:23

Go on, bugger off, out.

0:17:230:17:25

Could have been a lot worse, at the end of the day,

0:17:250:17:27

and Nev didn't make fun of me too much,

0:17:270:17:29

so it can't have been that bad.

0:17:290:17:31

Underneath the nerves, I detected quality.

0:17:310:17:34

-Quality?

-Quality and...

0:17:340:17:35

It was piss-poor quality,

0:17:350:17:36

but there was quality there somewhere.

0:17:360:17:38

You had to listen - admittedly closely.

0:17:380:17:40

Nev's also been scouting for talent.

0:17:400:17:43

He's picked 21-year-old Kieran

0:17:430:17:44

to help bring Christmas cheer to the call centre.

0:17:440:17:47

You know you signed up for the choir?

0:17:470:17:49

Yeah - I did know, I didn't practise this one.

0:17:490:17:51

I do like singing.

0:17:510:17:53

I wouldn't really call it a gift,

0:17:530:17:54

it's just something I done on the weekend really, karaoke.

0:17:540:17:57

People normally clap me off for the wrong reasons, I think.

0:17:570:18:01

From the top - Silent Night in C sharp.

0:18:010:18:03

What's C sharp? I'm ready.

0:18:030:18:05

# Silent night

0:18:050:18:08

# Holy night

0:18:080:18:10

# All is calm

0:18:100:18:13

# All is bright

0:18:130:18:15

# Sleep in heavenly peace

0:18:150:18:20

# Sleep in heavenly peace. #

0:18:200:18:24

-Excellent.

-Not bad.

-Excellent, well done.

0:18:240:18:26

All the best, ta-ta.

0:18:260:18:28

-He's not a very good singer.

-No, but it doesn't matter.

0:18:300:18:33

You imagine now - we give him the solo.

0:18:330:18:36

I'm trying not to imagine it, really, Nev, but...

0:18:370:18:40

Come on.

0:18:400:18:42

I think Nev is interested in having a large number of people

0:18:420:18:46

who are enthusiastic and having a bit of fun

0:18:460:18:48

and, and that element there.

0:18:480:18:50

For me, it's a more serious matter, I've got to be honest.

0:18:500:18:54

I do not want to quench anybody's enthusiasm.

0:18:540:18:57

If they're up for this,

0:18:570:18:58

if they want to go and stand in front of a throng of people singing,

0:18:580:19:04

let them do it -

0:19:040:19:06

even if they're howling, let them do it.

0:19:060:19:09

And boy, will some of them be howling.

0:19:100:19:12

Hello there, it's George calling from Safe Britain Money

0:19:180:19:21

and we're linked to Nationwide Energy Services.

0:19:210:19:23

The company who contacted you before,

0:19:230:19:25

you hung up the phone for no reason.

0:19:250:19:28

Christmas cheer is now taking over the call centre

0:19:280:19:31

and Hayley and Jennie's grand party - or conference - plans

0:19:310:19:35

are taking shape.

0:19:350:19:36

Er...you do chocolate fountains and stuff, yeah?

0:19:360:19:40

OK, is that the only thing you do?

0:19:400:19:42

Do they do buffet?

0:19:430:19:44

Champagne fountain? Brilliant, fantastic, right, OK.

0:19:440:19:48

The older I get, I've started to really dislike Christmas.

0:19:520:19:56

It uses up valuable holidays

0:19:560:19:58

which I'd rather have in the summer, when the weather's nice.

0:19:580:20:01

It costs me money I haven't got

0:20:050:20:07

to buy my children things they don't need.

0:20:070:20:10

It's just bullshit.

0:20:100:20:11

It's just everything that's wrong with life and the world these days.

0:20:110:20:16

And it's not just Griff with financial worries.

0:20:160:20:18

Hayley and Jennie are beginning to realise

0:20:180:20:21

that a champagne lifestyle might not be possible on a beer budget.

0:20:210:20:25

We've cut back on certain stuff.

0:20:250:20:27

Like, instead of a buffet now,

0:20:270:20:30

I think we're going to have a burger van.

0:20:300:20:33

Cos we thought about it, money can go to the bar

0:20:330:20:36

and that's what everyone would rather, wouldn't they?

0:20:360:20:38

You know, more drink in the bar.

0:20:380:20:40

Hello, is that Sue?

0:20:410:20:43

Maverick cold caller Griff is not long back in the call centre,

0:20:430:20:47

but already he's looking for a way out.

0:20:470:20:50

Yes, hello, is that Mrs Clark?

0:20:500:20:51

-PHONE:

-This is a business.

-It's a business.

0:20:510:20:53

-What sort of business is it?

-It's an agricultural business.

0:20:530:20:57

You're not looking to take any staff on, are you?

0:20:570:21:00

-LAUGHING:

-No.

0:21:000:21:01

If you are, I'll work for next to nothing, to be honest -

0:21:010:21:03

just for the change of scenery.

0:21:030:21:05

But while he's in Nev's world, there are rules,

0:21:050:21:08

and Big Brother is always listening

0:21:080:21:10

to make sure the likes of Griff stay in line.

0:21:100:21:12

Yeah, hi, is that Mrs Guest?

0:21:120:21:15

-PHONE:

-Who?

-Mrs Guest?

0:21:150:21:17

No.

0:21:170:21:18

Or Mrs Allen?

0:21:180:21:20

-No...

-Davis, is that Mrs Davis?

0:21:200:21:23

We have to make sure that they're saying the right things

0:21:230:21:25

so their qualifying's there,

0:21:250:21:26

the customer's being given all the relevant information,

0:21:260:21:29

as well as how they interact

0:21:290:21:31

and what kind of experience we feel the customer's getting from them.

0:21:310:21:34

Yeah, hang...whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

0:21:340:21:37

Stead...whoa!

0:21:370:21:39

I've been summoned by, er...Deon.

0:21:390:21:42

This is going to be an exercise

0:21:420:21:44

in complete and utter pointless fucking tedium.

0:21:440:21:48

But as a grizzled call centre veteran

0:21:480:21:51

with nearly 15 years' front-line experience,

0:21:510:21:53

Griff has a few tricks

0:21:530:21:55

for dealing with a fresh-faced 23-year-old like Deon.

0:21:550:21:58

I mean, there's no point lying, you've been here ages,

0:21:580:22:01

you're a good salesperson.

0:22:010:22:02

Can you speak a bit slower? I can't understand you.

0:22:020:22:05

No problem - as I said, you know, you've been here a while,

0:22:050:22:08

you're a good salesperson,

0:22:080:22:09

no-one's going to take that away from you.

0:22:090:22:11

As far as your feedback goes,

0:22:110:22:12

the one thing you're kind of really missing

0:22:120:22:14

is making sure that you're giving the customer

0:22:140:22:16

the best service for the call.

0:22:160:22:18

What you do have a tendency to do is sometimes rush through the calls.

0:22:180:22:21

If you haven't checked the address,

0:22:210:22:23

which you've said yourself is very, very important,

0:22:230:22:25

if you were to slow down a bit and check the address first,

0:22:250:22:28

it could've been avoided.

0:22:280:22:29

Sorry, I couldn't understand you, you were saying that a bit fast.

0:22:290:22:32

As I said, if you hadn't...

0:22:320:22:33

If you hadn't have rushed the call

0:22:330:22:35

and you were to check the address properly the first time,

0:22:350:22:37

it could have been avoided.

0:22:370:22:38

-So it's all attention to detail, in essence?

-Pretty much, yeah.

0:22:380:22:41

Don't know if you can see this,

0:22:410:22:43

but somebody's spelt "rapport" here in an absolutely obscene manner,

0:22:430:22:47

R-A-P-O-R-E, so I'm not...

0:22:470:22:49

The E and the T are very close -

0:22:490:22:51

obviously not hitting the right number.

0:22:510:22:53

-That's the thing I really...

-So it's attention to detail?

0:22:530:22:55

Definitely and - that's a good thing, see.

0:22:550:22:57

You're noticing the spelling mistakes.

0:22:570:22:59

All you have to do now is put that attention to detail into your calls.

0:22:590:23:02

-That's not an actual word.

-What word?

-It says "reapeted".

0:23:020:23:06

If you just, when you're typing these out,

0:23:060:23:08

-if you just slow it down...

-Yeah.

-Spell check...

0:23:080:23:11

Cos...what you're telling me,

0:23:110:23:13

the feedback you're giving me is brilliant

0:23:130:23:15

and the way you're delivering it is brilliant,

0:23:150:23:17

but then when I'm looking at this and there's spelling mistakes...

0:23:170:23:21

It's hard trying to control him sometimes, he's quite random.

0:23:210:23:24

You know, it's part and parcel of the job, you know?

0:23:240:23:27

I've been working in the department about three years,

0:23:270:23:29

I've dealt with Griff a couple of times.

0:23:290:23:31

So...yeah, you just kind of get used to it.

0:23:310:23:34

He's come on leaps and bounds,

0:23:340:23:35

cos he used to be fucking rubbish at that job.

0:23:350:23:38

So his...his confidence is coming on, you know,

0:23:380:23:42

but he talks too fast, I didn't understand a word he said,

0:23:420:23:44

but his attitude was, er...good.

0:23:440:23:48

Right, seven more doers, guys - come on, last hour and a half.

0:23:500:23:54

Since his secret romance with Jodie was outed in the company magazine,

0:23:540:23:58

team leader Johnny is doing his best to stay focused,

0:23:580:24:02

but it's been very hard.

0:24:020:24:05

Very hard indeed.

0:24:050:24:07

-It's not, honest.

-Fuck off, I just seen it. I'm not stupid.

0:24:070:24:11

I bought you a present the other day.

0:24:110:24:13

You did, yes. Or was it...?

0:24:140:24:16

No, it was the day before,

0:24:160:24:18

he came in to my bedroom,

0:24:180:24:19

he was like "I got you something." I said "Oh? What?"

0:24:190:24:22

Two of my clips I'd left in his car.

0:24:220:24:24

LAUGHTER

0:24:240:24:25

We kept it quiet at the beginning,

0:24:270:24:30

because, like, we were going with the flow,

0:24:300:24:32

seeing where it goes and stuff like that.

0:24:320:24:34

-Just in case I didn't like him.

-Other way!

0:24:340:24:37

Didn't want to turn him down in front of everyone.

0:24:370:24:40

I liked the looks of her,

0:24:400:24:42

in regards to I thought she was, like, tidy, bubbly, down-to-earth.

0:24:420:24:46

He had everybody else on Facebook,

0:24:460:24:48

so I thought, "Why haven't you got me?"

0:24:480:24:50

So then I told him to add me on Facebook, so then he did,

0:24:500:24:52

and then we started messaging.

0:24:520:24:55

So I kind of took a gamble that she fancied me

0:24:550:24:57

and then I asked her to go out on a date then, and, er...

0:24:570:25:01

And that was that.

0:25:010:25:02

Porthcawl Beach.

0:25:020:25:05

Skinny dipping.

0:25:050:25:06

HE LAUGHS

0:25:060:25:07

He had to carry me into the sea,

0:25:070:25:08

cos I don't like touching the floor in the sea.

0:25:080:25:10

Got in about five o'clock in the morning, didn't we?

0:25:100:25:12

-I can't remember.

-Something like that.

0:25:120:25:14

Can't remember what I done yesterday.

0:25:140:25:16

And it seems having love in the air is good for business.

0:25:170:25:21

There can be great positives to office romances,

0:25:210:25:23

because it brings everyone closer together,

0:25:230:25:26

cos Jodie's got a circle of friends, Johnny's got a circle of friends

0:25:260:25:29

and it makes this call centre more of a club, if you like,

0:25:290:25:33

as opposed to a workplace.

0:25:330:25:34

He'll have an excuse to go and see her -

0:25:340:25:36

he's got no reason to see her whatsoever,

0:25:360:25:38

she's got a team leader and a floor manager

0:25:380:25:40

and he runs a separate team.

0:25:400:25:43

But sales are going very well

0:25:430:25:46

on both his team and the team she's on at the moment,

0:25:460:25:49

so why would I get involved?

0:25:490:25:52

You've got to give them a little bit of leeway.

0:25:530:25:55

No.

0:25:580:25:59

Oh, to be young and in love.

0:26:070:26:09

I fancy him, but I'm not in love with him.

0:26:130:26:16

I don't know about him.

0:26:180:26:19

-LAUGHING:

-But I'm not in love, no.

0:26:190:26:22

Yeah. I'm in love.

0:26:220:26:24

# Silent night

0:26:280:26:32

# Holy night...

0:26:320:26:35

# All is calm

0:26:350:26:39

# All is bright...

0:26:390:26:42

# Round yon virgin mother and child

0:26:420:26:49

# Holy infant so... #

0:26:490:26:52

Sing along, Ash!

0:26:520:26:53

# ..so tender and mild... #

0:26:530:26:57

Today, Steve's getting all his eager choir volunteers

0:26:570:27:00

to sing together for the first time.

0:27:000:27:02

CHATTER AND SINGING

0:27:020:27:06

OK, guys, ready? Guys?

0:27:060:27:09

Can I have you bunching up rather than...?

0:27:090:27:12

You can't sing and lean at the same time.

0:27:120:27:14

Guys, ready?

0:27:140:27:16

On the count of six - one, two, six.

0:27:160:27:19

# Silent night

0:27:190:27:22

# Holy night

0:27:220:27:26

# Son of God

0:27:260:27:29

# Love's pure light...

0:27:290:27:32

# Radiant beams... #

0:27:320:27:35

Guys, concentrate now, OK? Guys! OK...

0:27:350:27:38

A fair number of them are passable

0:27:380:27:40

and some of them are absolutely appalling

0:27:400:27:43

and they're dragging the rest of the choir down.

0:27:430:27:46

# With the dawn of... #

0:27:460:27:49

We've just got noises coming from all different directions,

0:27:490:27:52

plus we've got two or three people that can actually sing,

0:27:520:27:55

but nonetheless, in typical call centre fashion,

0:27:550:27:58

we'll get up there, we'll give it some welly

0:27:580:28:00

and it'll sound all right on the night.

0:28:000:28:03

And none are giving it more welly than karaoke boy Kieran.

0:28:030:28:07

# All is bright

0:28:070:28:10

# Round yon virgin mother and child... #

0:28:100:28:14

I'm very fond of Kieran, he's a good lad, he's a good lad.

0:28:140:28:17

His heart's in the right place,

0:28:170:28:20

he likes to see people laughing and smiling,

0:28:200:28:22

he likes to laugh and smile himself.

0:28:220:28:24

Kieran, who was once suspended from school

0:28:240:28:26

following an unfortunate incident with a Bunsen burner,

0:28:260:28:29

is no stranger to defying the low expectations of others.

0:28:290:28:32

My mother didn't think I was going to last long in this job

0:28:320:28:35

but my friends are at this job, I enjoy this job

0:28:350:28:38

and I've lasted more than two months,

0:28:380:28:40

so...she's pretty proud of me.

0:28:400:28:42

I always believe in championing the cause of the underdog.

0:28:430:28:46

If you give me somebody with the necessary enthusiasm and energy,

0:28:460:28:50

I'll do my best to make something of them.

0:28:500:28:52

And when you do make a success out of them,

0:28:520:28:54

whether it's in sales or singing or life in general,

0:28:540:28:57

then everybody gets a lift out of it.

0:28:570:29:01

How could I dress up as the Virgin Mary?

0:29:060:29:08

Have a sash saying "I'm a virgin?"

0:29:100:29:12

LAUGHING: Yeah!

0:29:120:29:13

The call centre Christmas annual conference

0:29:130:29:15

is fast approaching,

0:29:150:29:17

but Hayley and Jennie still have financial worries.

0:29:170:29:20

I don't think our budget's going to go, to be honest,

0:29:200:29:22

so it's either going to be the booze or the decorations - either/or.

0:29:220:29:27

Unfortunately, I don't think we can have both.

0:29:290:29:31

Fortunately for the girls,

0:29:320:29:34

Nev's been hunting for venues at the cheaper end of the market

0:29:340:29:37

and he's come up trumps.

0:29:370:29:38

Swansea Dockers Club.

0:29:400:29:42

Open since the 1960s, it's renowned for bingo, darts

0:29:430:29:48

and the occasional Christmas annual conference.

0:29:480:29:51

-The Dockers club...

-What's that mean?

0:30:010:30:03

The Dockers Club, Swansea Dockers Club...

0:30:030:30:06

Oh, fucking hell!

0:30:060:30:07

It's an option, they got a big stage, they got a big room,

0:30:070:30:12

we got it for free with sausage and chips thrown in.

0:30:120:30:15

The Dockers' beer is the cheapest in the town.

0:30:150:30:18

Yeah, it's like £2 for a vodka.

0:30:180:30:19

It's £2 a pint, it's dirt cheap.

0:30:190:30:21

The thing is, the Dockers looks quite scabby inside,

0:30:210:30:23

so we need to find out...

0:30:230:30:25

Decoration. Or we do our own decoration, it's got to look mint.

0:30:250:30:28

OK, go to the Dockers club, go and have a word with them

0:30:280:30:31

and see what's appertaining.

0:30:310:30:33

To maximise employee productivity at the call centre,

0:30:400:30:43

excessively long or overly frequent toilet breaks

0:30:430:30:46

are frowned upon by the management.

0:30:460:30:48

If you want to take 15 minutes,

0:30:480:30:49

whoever takes 15 minutes to go for a piss?

0:30:490:30:51

I mean, Tom's been gone for about five, ten minutes.

0:30:510:30:54

Right, where?

0:30:540:30:55

-What do you mean?

-Where's Tom gone?

-Toilet.

0:30:550:30:57

He's been gone for ten minutes, so if I want to piss

0:30:570:30:59

I wait for somebody to come out from ten minutes in the bog?

0:30:590:31:02

You would have seen Tom had gone for a long time,

0:31:020:31:04

or I could have said, "Look..."

0:31:040:31:06

I'm not monitoring who's going where and who's having a piss.

0:31:060:31:08

I need a piss, I think, "All right, it's not too late to have a piss."

0:31:080:31:11

I'm not arguing with you. In future, just have a look around the team,

0:31:110:31:14

if someone's gone, wait for them to come back before you go, that's all I'm asking.

0:31:140:31:18

Can you take him in there, all right?

0:31:180:31:19

-Right?

-So now we've had a five-minute discussion...

-Come on.

0:31:210:31:24

..about a one-minute piss?

0:31:240:31:25

I think it's important that he doesn't get away with everything,

0:31:290:31:32

because if one person's seen to get away with it then, obviously,

0:31:320:31:35

the floor will think they can get away with it,

0:31:350:31:37

and then that's just going to lose all control

0:31:370:31:39

and there'd be no point in having managers whatsoever.

0:31:390:31:42

I feel like I've earned the right on this planet now -

0:31:420:31:44

unless I'm stuck in a travelling car or in a queue for a toilet -

0:31:440:31:49

I feel like I've earned the right to have a piss when I need one, really.

0:31:490:31:52

Griff is a flair player, he's a star performer, so as long as we can

0:31:520:31:55

keep him focused and the attitude remains right, he's going to be OK.

0:31:550:31:59

He, he can be disruptive, he gets bored and his head goes.

0:31:590:32:03

He starts messing about and he can be disruptive,

0:32:030:32:05

which is not good for the sales floor.

0:32:050:32:08

Griff's now decided to introduce his own policy of selective flexi-time.

0:32:090:32:14

In other words, he's snuck off two hours early.

0:32:150:32:19

Dwayne approached me to tell me that Griff had left,

0:32:190:32:21

and Griff hadn't told anyone he was leaving, he just got up and left.

0:32:210:32:26

He's a pain in the arse and he knows it, that's the worst thing,

0:32:260:32:30

he knows he's being a pain in the arse, so...

0:32:300:32:32

I don't know why he bothers coming in.

0:32:320:32:35

Go and do something else.

0:32:350:32:36

# Silent night

0:32:380:32:43

# Holy night... #

0:32:430:32:47

With at least some vocal talent on board,

0:32:480:32:50

things have been looking up for the Christmas carol sing-along.

0:32:500:32:54

But Nev's been developing his own creative vision.

0:32:550:32:58

# Round yon virgin mother and child

0:32:590:33:05

# Sleep in heavenly peace

0:33:050:33:11

# Sleep in heavenly peace. #

0:33:110:33:16

He's called Steve in to discuss a new direction for the choir.

0:33:160:33:20

You know how I say the chain is

0:33:200:33:22

only as strong as its weakest link?

0:33:220:33:24

The weakest link being Kieran Vye.

0:33:240:33:27

-Yeah, yeah.

-If you have Silent Night, the choir...

0:33:270:33:31

-Yeah.

-Second verse, Silent Night, Kerry.

-Yeah.

0:33:310:33:34

Silent Night, the third verse, Kieran Vye...

0:33:340:33:38

-Right, yeah.

-..solo.

0:33:380:33:40

Right. OK.

0:33:400:33:43

Is this a sensible, you know... Is this going to work, Nev?

0:33:440:33:47

Very sensible.

0:33:470:33:49

All right, if it goes wrong...

0:33:490:33:51

I'll blame you.

0:33:510:33:52

-Yeah, that's what I wanted to know.

-Yeah.

-OK.

0:33:520:33:55

'He does like to see the underdog,

0:33:550:33:57

'I think he's very keen on giving people a chance who...'

0:33:570:34:00

Perhaps, others have written them off,

0:34:000:34:02

and that's part of his philosophy.

0:34:020:34:05

Hello, there, is that Mrs Worthington?

0:34:050:34:07

I think the next stage for me here will be for Kieran to have a

0:34:070:34:10

one-on-one practice, and as much of an intense practice as we can.

0:34:100:34:15

We've got to get Kieran at least to be able to pronounce

0:34:150:34:18

words in a way that is similar to the rest of the choir singing,

0:34:180:34:21

so the pressure's on.

0:34:210:34:22

Thank you!

0:34:220:34:23

It's Monday morning,

0:34:310:34:32

and after Griff went AWOL on Friday, Thorpy wants yet another quiet word.

0:34:320:34:37

Can I borrow you, Richard?

0:34:480:34:49

On Friday I was thinking, "What a tool."

0:34:510:34:56

You can't expect to walk out of work and the shit not to hit the fan.

0:34:560:35:00

Do you want to stay here?

0:35:000:35:02

I'd leave otherwise, I... You wouldn't have to get me

0:35:020:35:05

out of here. If I was in a position to be able to leave, I would leave.

0:35:050:35:08

Honestly, I don't know if you would, you need the money.

0:35:080:35:10

"I don't really want to be here,"

0:35:100:35:12

I don't think there's an ounce of you....

0:35:120:35:14

Yeah, I am here cos I can't afford not to leave, yeah, course I am.

0:35:140:35:17

Right, well, I'll tell you straight that

0:35:170:35:19

if you continue like this, you will be out, guaranteed,

0:35:190:35:25

because you can't have different rules for different people.

0:35:250:35:29

You are being completely selfish,

0:35:290:35:32

and Christmas is coming,

0:35:320:35:34

so you do need the job.

0:35:340:35:36

Christmas...

0:35:360:35:38

No, yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that bit.

0:35:400:35:42

Come and see me if you need anything.

0:35:460:35:48

All right, cheers.

0:35:480:35:49

What's next is...

0:35:540:35:55

Erm...

0:35:550:35:56

What's next?

0:35:580:35:59

I really don't know.

0:36:010:36:02

If it wasn't for the fact that, you know, I get on all right with Nev

0:36:040:36:07

there's nothing that would give Thorpy and Dwayne greater delight

0:36:070:36:10

than to call me in there and say, "Fuck off," know what I mean?

0:36:100:36:12

They'd love to sack me, they would,

0:36:120:36:14

and I'd have more respect for them if they did that.

0:36:140:36:17

Don't tell them I said that cos they're desperate for respect,

0:36:180:36:23

so they'd probably take advantage of that knowledge.

0:36:230:36:26

Steve has just about digested Nev's plan to give Kieran a solo role

0:36:310:36:36

at the call centre Christmas carols.

0:36:360:36:38

I'm sure Steve thinks I'm nuts giving Kieran a solo but, believe

0:36:410:36:44

it or not, there is method in my madness and they'll have a good

0:36:440:36:48

crack at it and everything'll work out fine in the end.

0:36:480:36:52

I had a chat with Nev yesterday, but he had an idea and...

0:36:520:36:56

I'm always scared of Nev's ideas,

0:36:560:36:58

Yeah?

0:36:580:37:00

They're always a bit strange.

0:37:000:37:01

-Well, this is a good one.

-OK.

0:37:010:37:04

Nev would like you, Kieran,

0:37:040:37:06

to perform a solo at the Christmas party.

0:37:060:37:09

If you agree to do it,

0:37:090:37:10

we're going to have a little bit of training, OK?

0:37:100:37:13

-So, you up for, it Kieran?

-Yeah, I'm plenty up for it.

0:37:130:37:15

Right, this one, it'll warm up your mouth so that it'll be easier

0:37:210:37:25

for you to sort of, like,

0:37:250:37:26

reach certain notes and things like that, OK? So...

0:37:260:37:29

SHE MAKES A BUZZING SOUND WITH HER LIPS

0:37:290:37:31

OK?

0:37:310:37:32

THEY ATTEMPT TO COPY HER

0:37:340:37:36

I can't vibrate my lip.

0:37:360:37:37

Can you do it again?

0:37:370:37:38

SHE MAKES A BUZZING SOUND WITH HER LIPS

0:37:380:37:42

So start off low, high, back down.

0:37:420:37:45

THEY ATTEMPT TO COPY HER

0:37:450:37:47

SHE MAKES A BUZZING SOUND WITH HER LIPS

0:37:490:37:53

-OK, so think if you're really cold and you'll go brrr.

-Yeah.

0:37:530:37:58

HE MAKES A BUZZING SOUND WITH HIS LIPS

0:37:580:37:59

-Yeah, that was good.

-That was good.

-Almost there.

0:37:590:38:02

It does help me that Kieran's going to be doing it as well,

0:38:020:38:04

because I'm sort of hoping that, in a way,

0:38:040:38:06

whether he does actually better than everyone thinks or really terrible,

0:38:060:38:10

it might take some of the spotlight off me so it won't be as difficult.

0:38:100:38:16

-SHE SINGS:

-A, E, I, O, U.

0:38:160:38:21

OK?

0:38:210:38:22

HE SINGS: A, E, I, O, U.

0:38:220:38:27

O.

0:38:280:38:29

O, U.

0:38:290:38:32

No-one really shows much faith in me

0:38:320:38:34

but fair dos to, like, Kerry, Nev and Steve, they've shown a bit

0:38:340:38:38

of faith in me to give me a solo and I'm...

0:38:380:38:40

I'm quite proud, really,

0:38:400:38:42

I'm quite chuffed of the fact that I've got a solo in the choir.

0:38:420:38:45

Thank you, Kieran, well done.

0:38:450:38:47

I am a little... Slightly nervous,

0:38:470:38:48

but I think I'll be all right on the night, hopefully.

0:38:480:38:51

Hands up if you're going to the party.

0:38:530:38:54

I need numbers, just to double check.

0:38:540:38:56

Hayley's now busy plugging her party on the sales floor,

0:39:000:39:03

but not everyone's buying.

0:39:030:39:06

I hate Christmas, though, to be honest with you.

0:39:060:39:08

Why do you hate Christmas?

0:39:080:39:09

Because, A...

0:39:090:39:11

Because it's based around religion and fucking shopping.

0:39:110:39:13

It's just bollocks, innit?

0:39:130:39:15

It's just the highlight of the sort of union of the capitalists

0:39:150:39:20

and the religious fucking nutjobs who've somehow hijacked

0:39:200:39:25

a certain time of year.

0:39:250:39:26

Oh, hello, is that Mrs...?

0:39:260:39:28

Christmas, Schmismass.

0:39:320:39:35

KIERAN MAKES A BUZZING SOUND WITH HIS LIPS

0:39:360:39:38

Since being chosen by Nev to sing solo in front of the whole

0:39:380:39:42

call centre, Kieran's been practising his vocal exercises.

0:39:420:39:46

Hello?

0:39:460:39:48

Basically, it just warms my voice up before I go on the phone.

0:39:480:39:51

I don't do it after every call but after every few calls,

0:39:510:39:54

if I feel a bit...

0:39:540:39:55

And, as always, there's a business angle behind Nev's grand strategy.

0:39:550:39:59

His sales have gone up already, you know, he's one of the top sellers

0:39:590:40:02

now because he's absolutely buzzing, he's so excited over it.

0:40:020:40:06

HE MAKES A BUZZING SOUND WITH HIS LIPS

0:40:060:40:09

Honestly, though, James, if you try doing it you will get sales.

0:40:090:40:12

Go like this...

0:40:120:40:13

HE MAKES A BUZZING SOUND WITH HIS LIPS

0:40:130:40:15

-Try this.

-No, mate.

0:40:150:40:16

Do it tomorrow, you'll get sales.

0:40:160:40:18

I think I am going to keep doing it every day

0:40:220:40:26

until I earn loads of money.

0:40:260:40:27

Johnny and Jodie are back in the headlines.

0:40:440:40:47

But this time they're being talked about for all the wrong reasons.

0:40:500:40:55

Just a little bit awkward today.

0:40:550:40:57

Me and Johnny are... Just...

0:40:570:40:58

I suppose the only way to put it is the spark has, like, like worn off.

0:41:000:41:04

And news of a break-up has filtered through to the highest echelons

0:41:070:41:11

of the company.

0:41:110:41:13

Johnny!

0:41:130:41:14

-Nev, how you doing?

-I'm doing good.

0:41:140:41:16

-Good, good.

-I understand you're doing good too?

0:41:160:41:18

Yeah, it's going all right.

0:41:180:41:21

Unfortunately single, though?

0:41:210:41:23

Single, yeah.

0:41:230:41:25

I just wanted to make sure that this, you know, that...

0:41:250:41:28

That you hadn't fallen in love and your head was now going to

0:41:280:41:31

go up your arse and, and all that good work is going to...

0:41:310:41:34

Would I ever let you down? Never. Have I let you down yet?

0:41:340:41:37

-No.

-No. No, yeah, everything's fine, it's fine.

0:41:370:41:40

So long as things, you know, go back to normal and quiet.

0:41:400:41:43

A couple of little words of advice.

0:41:430:41:46

Keep the beat going, keep the sales flowing.

0:41:460:41:50

The beat's going, the sales are going.

0:41:500:41:51

Good, all right then. So you're upbeat?

0:41:510:41:55

-Yeah.

-Get on with it, then.

-Happy days.

0:41:550:41:57

-Thanks, Johnny.

-See you later.

0:41:570:41:59

OUT!

0:41:590:42:01

A few conversations between us

0:42:010:42:03

over the last two evenings have led to me, basically,

0:42:030:42:08

"Just chill out for a second, let's leave it and, you know, go our separate ways," I suppose.

0:42:080:42:15

It was more my side than his.

0:42:150:42:17

But I couldn't, like, hold it in, like, I had to tell him.

0:42:180:42:22

I'm probably going to regret my decision, but...

0:42:220:42:25

I think it's probably going to be for the best.

0:42:250:42:28

NEV: Relationships in work are fine as long as there's

0:42:280:42:31

a bit of stability there on both parties.

0:42:310:42:33

When they're volatile then it can have an impact on the entire floor.

0:42:330:42:38

Got to make sure the atmosphere's OK, you know,

0:42:380:42:40

we put it to bed as fast as we can, there we are, it lasted,

0:42:400:42:43

it run its course, thank you very much, it's gone.

0:42:430:42:46

Jodie is already getting back into the call centre social scene.

0:42:480:42:52

What's the plan, then? Are we going straight to the pub?

0:42:520:42:55

I don't know, I don't know what's happening.

0:42:550:42:58

I don't want to go to town cos I'm wearing a cast,

0:42:580:43:00

it's really restricting my life, you know?

0:43:000:43:02

I can't even shave this armpit!

0:43:040:43:07

There was never a dull moment, it was always a good laugh,

0:43:070:43:09

know what I mean? It was brilliant.

0:43:090:43:11

So, yeah, I'm going to miss that, at the end of the day,

0:43:110:43:13

but Johnny Allen don't cry.

0:43:130:43:15

Last time I cried was when West Ham lost the FA Cup to Liverpool

0:43:150:43:18

in 2006, and then that was because I was pissed.

0:43:180:43:21

At the call centre, it's Christmas carol day.

0:43:270:43:30

Nev's hoping for a rousing performance to unite

0:43:330:43:35

the company with Christmas cheer.

0:43:350:43:37

They'll be singing in front of the whole call centre.

0:43:370:43:39

Hopefully it will inspire a lot of people and it will make for a

0:43:390:43:44

good, merry Christmas.

0:43:440:43:46

Kerry's prone to stage fright

0:43:460:43:48

and hasn't sung in public for three years, so Nev's summoned her

0:43:480:43:51

and fellow soloist Kieran for some calming words.

0:43:510:43:55

We're singing today, aren't we?

0:43:550:43:57

Yes.

0:43:570:43:58

-Now, there's an awful lot of effort gone into this choir so far, right?

-Yeah.

0:43:580:44:02

So do not cock it up.

0:44:020:44:05

-OK.

-Volume, sincerity.

0:44:050:44:08

What happens if we do cock it up in any way?

0:44:080:44:12

There is no plan B, right?

0:44:120:44:14

-Just do not cock it up.

-OK.

0:44:140:44:17

This is serious, got to perform.

0:44:170:44:19

Come on in, don't be shy.

0:44:200:44:23

OK, choir, choir... Come on, come on, choir, come on.

0:44:230:44:25

Now, we're going to do a rendition of Silent Night,

0:44:250:44:30

you're all welcome to join in on verse four, All right?

0:44:300:44:35

OK.

0:44:350:44:36

-# ALL:

-Silent night

0:44:370:44:40

# Holy night

0:44:410:44:45

# All is calm

0:44:450:44:49

# All is bright

0:44:490:44:52

# Round yon virgin

0:44:530:44:57

# Mother and child

0:44:570:45:00

# Sleep in heavenly peace

0:45:010:45:09

# Sleep in heavenly peace... #

0:45:100:45:15

Kerry.

0:45:170:45:18

# Silent night

0:45:190:45:22

# Holy night

0:45:230:45:28

# Darkness flies

0:45:280:45:31

# All is light

0:45:310:45:35

# Shepherds hear the angels sing

0:45:350:45:42

# Hallelujah, hail the king

0:45:430:45:50

# Christ the saviour is born

0:45:510:45:58

# Christ the saviour is born. #

0:45:590:46:04

CHEERING

0:46:040:46:07

I'm really relieved that it's done with now and that I've sung.

0:46:070:46:11

I was absolutely terrified.

0:46:110:46:13

Kerry is a very shy individual but, she did very, very well

0:46:130:46:16

and she held every note there wonderfully and

0:46:160:46:19

she can be very proud of what she's done.

0:46:190:46:21

-# OFF-KEY:

-Silent night... #

0:46:270:46:30

LAUGHTER

0:46:300:46:31

# Holy night

0:46:310:46:35

# Son of God

0:46:350:46:39

# Love's pure light

0:46:390:46:43

# Radiant beams from thy holy face

0:46:430:46:50

# With the dawn of redeeming grace

0:46:500:46:57

# Jesus, Lord at thy birth

0:46:580:47:04

# Jesus, Lord at thy birth. #

0:47:060:47:11

CHEERING

0:47:110:47:14

Well done. Very good.

0:47:140:47:16

I just sang one verse of the song

0:47:190:47:21

and everyone was clapping so I must have done half decent.

0:47:210:47:25

I am proud of myself, yeah.

0:47:250:47:26

'Kieran may not be the most refined singer in the world but it takes guts

0:47:260:47:30

'to get up there and sing in front of all those people'

0:47:300:47:33

and he's given it his all and I'm proud of him.

0:47:330:47:36

And despite the occasionally patchy vocals, Nev's confident

0:47:360:47:40

the carol singing will raise more than just the mood in the company.

0:47:400:47:43

Kieran was clapped back onto the floor.

0:47:450:47:48

All of the floors are buzzing, every campaign will do well,

0:47:480:47:52

everybody's happy, happy people sell,

0:47:520:47:55

sales will go through the roof.

0:47:550:47:56

-BEEP

-'Hello?'

0:48:050:48:06

Oh, hi. Is that Mrs Randall?

0:48:060:48:08

As Christmas draws closer, Griff is still struggling to find his mojo.

0:48:080:48:12

-Pardon?

-'What's the first name you need?'

-Uh, Miss Randall.

0:48:120:48:16

-'First name?'

-Yeah, Miss. Am I pronouncing that wrong?

0:48:160:48:20

'Yeah, no, what's her name? Cos you're just saying Randall.'

0:48:200:48:24

Oh, right. I dunno. Sorry, is this a quiz?

0:48:240:48:27

But Nev's not giving up.

0:48:270:48:29

The bottom line - Griff has been a miserable sod lately.

0:48:290:48:31

He's gone into one of his dark patches again

0:48:310:48:34

and we need to get him out of it

0:48:340:48:35

and I've come up with a plan and that would be to get him

0:48:350:48:39

to do his stand-up comedy routine at the Christmas party and

0:48:390:48:43

if he does it, maybe it'll put a smile on that miserable face of his.

0:48:430:48:47

Can I proposition you, then?

0:48:470:48:48

Go ahead.

0:48:500:48:51

Erm, you know the Call Centre Christmas Binge?

0:48:510:48:57

-Yeah.

-On Saturday? Do you fancy doing ten minutes?

0:48:570:49:00

Honestly, I've got nothing to say to these people. I gotta dumb down

0:49:020:49:05

on a daily basis just to work with these lot, do you know what I mean?

0:49:050:49:09

I can't do it more than 30 hours a week, whatever it is.

0:49:090:49:14

Well, have a think about it. If it's any good to you,

0:49:140:49:18

I just thought it might get you up on stage doing your stuff.

0:49:180:49:22

-Right, cheers, Nev.

-OK, thanks.

-See you soon.

-Well done.

-Yeah, thanks.

0:49:220:49:26

Once he gets up there and he gets a mic in his hand, he'll be away.

0:49:260:49:30

Have I cheered him up?

0:49:300:49:31

Probably not. But...

0:49:310:49:34

..I think he's got something to think about, which takes his mind off

0:49:370:49:40

other things, which may well detract him long enough to think he's happy.

0:49:400:49:44

It's the evening of the call centre annual conference

0:49:510:49:54

and the baubles are all in place.

0:49:540:49:56

-Ah.

-Nev, what you thinking?

0:49:560:49:58

This is fantastic. Where's the crowd?

0:49:580:50:01

The time has come for hostesses Hayley and Jenny

0:50:010:50:04

to deliver the mother of all parties.

0:50:040:50:07

Jenny and Hayley done a good job, like. It's a good venue,

0:50:070:50:10

loads of people here, more to come so it'll be tidy.

0:50:100:50:12

I am impressed, though. It does look nice.

0:50:120:50:14

Considering it's, you know, Swansea Dockers, they've made a real

0:50:140:50:18

good job of it. Fair play to them. It's lovely, innit?

0:50:180:50:21

I just need to get smashed now!

0:50:210:50:23

One, two, three, go.

0:50:270:50:29

Ah! Bugger off! Urgh.

0:50:310:50:34

Brrrrrrrrr!

0:50:370:50:38

The party's hotting up and Hayley and Jenny's insistence on a free bar

0:50:400:50:44

has gone down well with the troops.

0:50:440:50:47

I've had about two, maybe three. Possibly four, maybe five.

0:50:470:50:51

I don't know how many I've had. I lost count after two.

0:50:510:50:54

And despite the limited budget, Nev's arranged

0:50:560:50:59

for one of Wales's finest voices to kick off the entertainment.

0:50:590:51:03

-ANNOUNCER:

-The man with the golden tonsils.

0:51:030:51:06

Thank you. Thank you.

0:51:070:51:09

Just keep your knickers on.

0:51:090:51:11

This is Nev Jones.

0:51:110:51:14

Are you ready?

0:51:140:51:16

-MAN:

-Yeah!

0:51:160:51:17

# SHAKILY: She was my woman!

0:51:170:51:22

# As she deceived me I watched and went out of my mind

0:51:250:51:31

# My, my, my, Delilah! #

0:51:330:51:37

You know the words.

0:51:370:51:40

As Nev's silky vocals drift across the room,

0:51:400:51:44

the drink flows and the mistletoe works it magic...

0:51:440:51:48

# I could see

0:51:480:51:51

# That girl was no good for me... #

0:51:510:51:55

..but not for everyone.

0:51:550:51:56

# Then I was lost like a slave that no man could free... #

0:51:560:52:01

I don't give a fucking shit. it's fucking done and dusted now.

0:52:020:52:05

Don't get me wrong, it was a bit dodgy the first week or so,

0:52:050:52:08

but I'm back to my best now. On it with the boys, like, to get wrecked

0:52:080:52:12

and I'm glad it's over, to be honest with you.

0:52:120:52:15

'Me and Johnny are all right.

0:52:170:52:19

'We don't go out of our way to talk to each other

0:52:190:52:22

'but I know that he's always there for me.'

0:52:220:52:24

I'm not going to pull tonight

0:52:240:52:26

because I've got too much respect for him.

0:52:260:52:28

'If he's pulls tonight then I wish him all the best but I'm not'

0:52:280:52:31

personally going to pull tonight, no.

0:52:310:52:34

Unless John Cena turns up.

0:52:340:52:36

# Forgive me, Delilah

0:52:410:52:43

# I just couldn't take any more! #

0:52:430:52:49

Yeah!

0:52:500:52:52

But there's one person who hasn't made it to the party.

0:53:000:53:04

Well, I'm... You know, I'm a deeply anti-social man

0:53:080:53:12

'If I went I'd enjoy it for a while,'

0:53:120:53:14

do you know what I mean? First few hours I'd probably enjoy it

0:53:140:53:17

and then I'd just not want to be there.

0:53:170:53:19

I knew Griff wasn't coming. Disappointed? Yeah, possibly.

0:53:190:53:23

I asked him to do ten minutes as a comedian

0:53:230:53:26

but he's probably right.

0:53:260:53:28

They wouldn't have been able to understand what he was saying

0:53:280:53:30

cos they'd have all been too pissed.

0:53:300:53:32

But we'll keep looking out for him. He's one of us.

0:53:320:53:36

'Yeah, I don't know, it's just not my thing, really. Not these days.

0:53:360:53:40

'You know, and you gotta talk to people then, ain't you?'

0:53:400:53:43

The more pissed people have got, the more uncomfortable

0:53:430:53:45

I'd have probably felt, you know?

0:53:450:53:47

I just don't find these situations particularly...attractive.

0:53:470:53:51

# Now you found the secret code I use

0:53:510:53:54

# To wash away my lonely blues... #

0:53:540:53:58

'I'm devastated that Griff's not here because Griff should be here.

0:53:580:54:02

'It's been a tough year

0:54:020:54:05

'and he's been a real big part of a tough year.'

0:54:050:54:09

I don't know. He's bonkers, isn't he?

0:54:090:54:10

Let's be honest, he's...he's a bonkers guy.

0:54:100:54:13

Think my kettle must have died.

0:54:150:54:17

Christmas, the time for fucking new kettles, innit?

0:54:170:54:21

Kettles and socks.

0:54:210:54:23

Oh, that would help, wouldn't it?

0:54:250:54:28

WATER BOILS

0:54:280:54:30

'OK. Wonderwall will be on a second.'

0:54:370:54:39

In the meantime, can I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, yes?

0:54:390:54:45

CHEERING

0:54:450:54:47

We've had a tough year. We've had a tough year.

0:54:470:54:49

Next year's looking good!

0:54:490:54:52

And we're on the up again, all right?

0:54:520:54:56

So next year's party, we want it in Marbella, all right?

0:54:560:55:00

Thank you all for coming. Happy Christmas. Enjoy yourselves.

0:55:000:55:03

The bar's still open.

0:55:030:55:05

MUSIC: "Mr Brightside" by The Killers

0:55:050:55:06

# Coming out of my cage and I'll be doing just fine

0:55:060:55:09

# Gotta, gotta be down... #

0:55:090:55:10

I'm really, really happy.

0:55:100:55:12

A lot of people were dissing the venue. They've come in here

0:55:120:55:15

and, I'll be honest with you, every one have actually said,

0:55:150:55:18

"Fair play. This looks amazing," so, ka-ching!

0:55:180:55:22

# While he's having a smoke

0:55:220:55:23

# Now she's taking a drag... #

0:55:230:55:26

I think Hayley and Jenny did a good job of organising it.

0:55:260:55:29

The Dockers Club has done us proud.

0:55:290:55:31

'Everyone thought it was going to be a load of bollocks.'

0:55:310:55:34

If we're completely honest... it's been superb.

0:55:340:55:39

It's been an absolute superb party.

0:55:390:55:41

-# ALL:

-I just can't look It's killing me... #

0:55:440:55:48

We fucking pulled it off!

0:55:500:55:52

Jen, we pulled it off. Obviously, I knew we would.

0:55:520:55:55

We pulled it off in the first hour.

0:55:550:55:57

-# ALL:

-Jealousy

0:55:570:55:58

# Turning saints into the sea

0:55:580:56:02

# Swimming through sick lullabies

0:56:020:56:05

# Choking on your alibis

0:56:050:56:07

# Open up my eager eyes!

0:56:070:56:12

# Cos I'm Mr Brightside. #

0:56:130:56:17

# I never. #

0:56:220:56:27

-TUNE OF: "No Limits" by 2 Unlimited:

-# Da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da

0:56:290:56:32

# Da-da, da, da, da, da

0:56:320:56:34

# Da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da. #

0:56:340:56:38

'We've started to get the beat going again. The mojo's coming back.

0:56:380:56:42

'Let's get the job creation going and have a really good year.'

0:56:420:56:46

I'm very optimistic for 2014. Very optimistic.

0:56:460:56:49

It's Christmas!

0:56:530:56:57

CHEERING Yeah.

0:56:570:56:59

At Swansea's third-largest call centre, CEO Nev Wilshere and his staff are in festive mood. Tea-lady Hayley is organising the office Christmas party, Nev is putting together a Christmas choir and, with bills to pay and presents to buy, an old face returns to the centre - but will this Grinch ever learn to love the festive fun?


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