Britain's Compulsive Shoppers

My name is Jasmine Harman and I know first-hand

how devastating a compulsive disorder can be.

All through my life, I felt like my mum's stuff was more

important than me. It was purely a compulsion that she couldn't control.

I've helped Mum and people all over the country

deal with their obsessive behaviour.

-Get rid.

-I'm really proud of you.

Now I've become interested in another secretive condition.

So you actually keep your living room locked?

Compulsive shopping.

I don't know why, but I can't stop myself.

We all shop, of course.

-Bargains!

-I won it, yay!

But some of us shop MUCH more than others.

I think I've spent about £9,000 just on shoes.

I will be out and all of a sudden I see a bargain.

I forget really how much I'm spending.

He just continues to buy and buy and buy things we don't really need.

I explore what happens when shopping spirals out of control.

It's really taken over my life.

I don't like shopping but shopping likes me.

I can't even trust myself.

I discover the roots of the problem run deep.

I haven't been in there since I put all the girls' clothes in.

And the impact on shoppers and their families...

I do feel pushed out, to be honest with you.

..can be far greater than simply overspending.

I don't want to have shopping taken away from me,

that would be like my whole world come to an end.

It's thought that as many as eight million

people in the UK have a compulsive buying disorder.

Shopping is my life, I live to shop.

I'm not married yet and shopping is like my husband,

like my companion.

I've been told about 30-year-old Dipna,

a self-confessed shopping addict.

Have a lovely day, bye.

Capable of spending thousands in a single transaction.

I do feel as if it's out of my control. I might not want to buy,

but I just buy it.

She's filled a wall of wardrobes with designer jewellery,

shoes, blazers and bags.

This was 3,000, this was 1,600 and the wallet was about £700.

I got credit cards, that's probably the worst thing I could have done.

Despite living at home, earning £500 a week teaching

and writing about cookery, and co-managing her dad's

restaurant, Dipna is struggling to fund her habit.

I'm in about £7,500 debt.

These earrings are like £200 each, 220, 250.

When I can't go shopping, it depresses me. I've cancelled

work just so I can go shopping. I know that's not a good thing.

I can't imagine there being absolutely no shopping.

What else would I do if I didn't shop?

What would I have to look forward to?

Nothing. There'd be no life without shopping.

I don't think I've ever met anybody before who sees shopping as

their best friend or life partner. You can't have a relationship

with shopping, it sounds silly even to say it out loud.

But Dipna really feels that is the meaning to her life.

The trouble is she's getting

into debt, she feels depressed if she can't go shopping.

Hi!

To me, that sounds like quite a serious problem.

Dipna already has more clothes than she could possibly wear,

but I see no signs of her slowing down.

-How much did you spend yesterday?

-£1,500.

I didn't want to, but I'm trying not to think about it.

-That's quite a shopping spree.

-Yeah.

Most of the things she buys are pushed to the back of her cupboards

and still have their labels on.

There's quite a lot there you haven't used.

Yeah, but when you go to the shop and you see it, it's just that

moment where you think, "That's really nice, what the hell, just buy it."

You're not in control,

you're not really able to say, "No, I'm not buying it."

No, I'm unable to do that.

Who's in control?

The little voice inside of me.

£600. You look like you don't like them.

They're not my cup of tea, is the honest truth,

but then I'm not going to be wearing them.

-How much?

-£485.

Yesterday I said to Mum, "Right, that's it now,

"I'm going to start saving up because I want to buy a car."

Have you already got a car?

Yeah, but the car I have is the old Mercedes, there's a new one coming

out in a few months, a new shape. So I've got my heart set on that.

And it's really important to have the new shape?

Yeah. I'll take it on lease and then if I'm paying that off every

month, I know that pressure might stop me from shopping so much.

Or just might get you in more debt.

Does that ever cross your mind? You could stick with the old car

and you could have the extra money every month to pay off your debt?

But I wouldn't.

You wouldn't? Why not?

I'd probably just use that money to either shop more, or

I'd go and get the car.

So the way you look at it is that that money, you might as well use

it on a new car, because otherwise you'll use it on shopping.

Yeah, which makes sense.

No, it doesn't!

I'm looking at all of this. It's actually mind-boggling

to think how much monies-worth of stuff you've got here.

It's got to be hundreds of thousands of pounds' worth of stuff.

Yeah, it's a lot of stuff.

On first meeting Dipna, you could be forgiven for thinking she is

spoilt, but actually, the honest truth, I think,

is that she is not in control.

I know, from my work with hoarders, that compulsive disorders govern

the people that have them.

And I think that Dipna could well be in that category.

Not all shopping addicts get their fix from high-priced purchases.

I'm on my way to meet a single mum, Ebony,

whose eye for a bargain is out of control.

They've still got their labels on them.

I don't even remember half the wigs I have got, I have to say.

Ebony lives in Surrey with her sons River and Chance.

How comes you've got all that blonde in your hair?

I dyed it ginger. I think it looks pretty swag, if you ask me.

Oh, please, spare me! Shut up!

Their mum doesn't spend a lot of money,

but, boy, does she buy a lot of things!

Whoa. Wow. How many pairs of shoes do you think you've got?

Er...possibly 1,000 now.

1,000 pairs of shoes?!

But have you worn all of them?

They will be worn. They will be worn.

I don't actually go out to buy shoes.

I will be out and then, all of a sudden, I see a bargain.

So are you saying that 1,000 pairs of shoes happened by accident?

Totally. None of these shoes were planned.

Does it not worry you?

I don't spend more than £20,

if anything, on any of these shoes. I'm saving.

OK. Prime example, these boots down here,

I got three pairs for a tenner.

They were such a good bargain.

I actually bought nine pairs of shoes.

Nine pairs?

I did. It was amazing, I can't even express how fantastic it felt

that day, it's like an escape from your day's work, you know?

And financially, you're OK with buying all of that stuff?

Yeah, because eventually I pay off the debt.

So do you buy on credit cards?

I do.

How much debt have you got?

About six grand.

-OK.

-But if I paid the full price at £1,000,

that would be ridiculous.

It would be, but it's already ridiculous.

As I said, I don't plan to go out shopping.

-I don't like shopping, but shopping likes me!

-I see.

It says, "Come to me, come to me."

-Secret storage compartment.

-Totally.

You are kidding me, are you actually joking?

How do you find anything?

Da-na!

Just a couple of scarves and hats.

It obviously makes you feel good, having all these things,

to hug in your bed.

-There you go, there's the missing void.

-Yeah?

They're replacing my man.

I don't have one and I'm sure these will give me more joy.

If I'm honest, I find Ebony a bit frustrating.

It's hard to know when she's being serious or not. She doesn't

see herself as a shopping addict

because she doesn't even like shopping - shopping likes her.

Ebony hides the problem from herself

by cramming bargains into every nook and cranny,

including a locked room I'm not yet allowed to look in.

At least Ebony stops buying when the shops shut.

Behind closed doors all over Britain, some compulsive

shoppers feed their habit around the clock online.

When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I think about

is what I'm bidding on that day.

56-year-old Dene is addicted to online auctions, spending more

time with his computer than with his wife Karen.

It's almost a full-time job for Dene. It could be eight hours a day.

If something finishes at four in the morning, he'll stay up

till four in the morning.

In one day, I would buy probably 20 items, maybe more.

Oh, God, there's another two cameras in here!

It could be a new television, it could be a car.

-There's another camera here.

-Oh, another camera.

Candyfloss makers, sunglasses, watches.

-I'd forgotten I had those, Karen.

-Did you?

30, 40 coats.

-That one?

-That's brand-new, that one.

Does he wear them?

He does... No, not really.

Some of these clothes are quite expensive. Goodness knows how

much money I've spent on them, I wouldn't like to count up really.

-All with tags on, never even been worn.

-Not even been worn.

I like to buy guitars, equipment, Hawaiian shirts, a caravan.

In fact, he did bid on a boat, but fortunately we didn't win that,

because we've nowhere to put it.

He did have five cars at one time.

He bought that safe. He didn't realise this was a toy.

I thought I was buying a metal, big safe for a good price.

He's not got a clue, have you, love?

When I bid, I really get excited, it's the thrill of the win,

it's like gambling in a way, I suppose.

And if somebody was to outbid him

by five, ten pounds, he'd be beside himself.

-We could have bought a small house by now.

-Yeah.

-Couldn't we?

It gets quite embarrassing, really. I feel embarrassed about it.

Dene and Karen have been married for less than two years.

Karen's under no illusion as to where

she comes in relation to shopping.

He spends an awful lot more time now than ever,

and I do feel pushed out, to be honest with you,

as if eBay gets more attention than I do.

So, yeah, it has got out of control.

I would prefer to shop than go to the pictures, or go to an event,

it's taken over my life, it's really taken over my life,

and I just think about it all the time.

Dene squirrels away a lot of his buying in different storage

locations across Yorkshire.

But still, their home has become unbearable for wife Karen,

prompting a drastic move to a bigger property in the same village.

As you can see, we've just moved and these are all the boxes.

I've come to find out more.

Well, it's got to the stage where we couldn't have anybody over to

stay, even the grandchildren, because you couldn't get to the bed.

All the things I'd bought were on top of the bed,

we had nowhere else to put them. We had to move, really.

What, you couldn't just maybe get rid of some of the stuff?

The postman had a satchel, then he went to a little trolley

and then it got that bad he had a little van.

Bringing all my parcels!

Your solution is to keep putting things in storage

and keep moving into a bigger house and a bigger house.

Dene's already filled every cupboard in their new house,

his purchases are spilling into the spare room.

You've just got a few here.

Oh! These are just brand-new, unused, never come out of the plastic.

Never even took them out. Some children's watches.

We've got an awful lot of sunglasses as well.

I'm sure we've got a suitcase full of sunglasses.

A suitcase full of sunglasses?!

I'd imagine it's that one, I think.

Dene, when you're buying a watch online,

what's going through your mind?

It's just a case of buying them.

And do you have plans for them?

To put them in this box.

What happens is that you'll get things on eBay, so you'll

leave it on your desk for a while, so I'll put it

in a box, then he'll forget all about it.

And that's how it starts to stack.

I see, so for you, the excitement is actually that moment of purchase?

-Yes.

-Sometimes I see him bidding on something

and I think, "Oh, God, that's just going to go in the spare room."

What's inside this house is the tip of the iceberg, because he's

got storage full of cheap, tacky,

plastic junk, for want of a better word.

-Sunglasses?

-Oh, I forgot all about those.

That Dene doesn't care about,

he doesn't even know what's in those boxes,

so it seems really pointless,

but still he can't stop.

Dene spends eight hours a day glued to online auctions, but I'm not

sure he really knows how much money, as well as time, he is wasting.

So show me some of the type of things you are looking at online at the moment.

Right. At the moment, I've just bid on this one

and I've won this for the kitchen.

-There it is, we can look at the pictures now.

-£51.

Which I think I've got a bargain there.

-So how do you feel, having just won that?

-Fantastic.

It's like scoring a goal at football, I suppose,

it's that thing you get, that elation of winning the bid.

How much do you reckon you spend each week?

It goes in, er... I'm not sure, cos I don't really...

The fact that you have absolutely no idea how much you've spent -

not worrying to you at all?

Um, I have an overdraft at the bank. So...

Dene's oblivion to his spending is staggering.

Hopefully, Karen can shed some real light on his finances.

Do you know if Dene is in debt?

-Yes.

-He is?

-Definitely.

-Do you know how much?

-Yes.

Are you willing to share?

I think it's 15,000.

-Really?

-Mm-hm.

-Right.

-That makes this situation a lot more serious.

-It does.

I really do worry that if Dene carries on the way he's been

going, he's going to do irreparable damage to not only his finances,

but also to his relationship,

because it must be so hard for Karen to just

have to put up with it, on a daily basis,

when it's completely unnecessary.

I really want to help all three of the compulsive shoppers I've met.

So I've come to one of the few medical institutions in the UK

that identifies the damage shopping addiction can cause.

I'm hoping to find some answers from lead consultant for addiction,

Dr Niall Campbell.

I have seen lots of patients who have significant shopping problems

and it's not recognised by the medical profession as a serious symptom.

The harm that's done and the consequences are enormous,

particularly the financial consequences,

and then the amount of time they spend doing it instead of being

with their family, interacting with other people, being with friends.

I think it's a huge issue and we've got our head in the sand about it.

With the people I've met, a lot of them don't really

see their shopping as a problem, sometimes defining themselves by it,

"That's just what I do," and there seems to be an element of denial.

-Is that quite common?

-It's massive.

The key is recognition, like any other addiction,

that there's something wrong.

And if people actually acknowledge the fact,

then they can reach some sort of solution.

Could you liken compulsive shopping to drug addiction,

alcoholism or gambling?

We see a lot of similarities with those kind of addictions.

When people buy things, they get a little bit of a rush

and that's probably a bit of a dopamine rush, like people get when

they score drugs, or when they put a bet on

and people say, "Yeah, I felt a bit better,"

brought it home, but then there's a big downward surge

when they feel guilty about it, so there's a negative aspect to it.

Which is why we often think of it as an addictive thing.

Are there any practical steps or exercises that someone who is

addicted to shopping can use?

Well, compulsive shopping we see as a symptom of many conditions,

so the therapy is aimed at what unhappiness from the past,

what unhappiness currently about relationships or your situation,

then trying to change that. It's about what's behind it.

So this is where the rest of your stuff is hidden, is it?

Yes, this is our storage space. I don't have enough room downstairs.

My future husband better have a big house, that's all I'm saying.

So where did your love of shopping begin?

-I think I blame my mum and dad.

-Why?

Because as a child, they spoiled me.

Whenever I used to go out with Mum, she always used to buy us something,

and when Dad was with us, he'd always take us into the shop

and say, "Right, guys, get what you want."

Would you say you're addicted to shopping?

Yes, for sure.

What makes it an addiction?

The fact that I can't stop, and I think

if I did ever stop, or someone did try and stop me, I don't think

I would be Dipna and I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't.

So you would lose your identity?

Yeah, I think I would.

Because there's a lot more to you, Dipna, than just shopping.

-There is.

-I think.

Me, as a person, I love children and I think,

if I ever had kids, which I will, I'm sure, in the future,

I think that will make me forget shopping,

because my love of kids is even more extreme than my shopping.

-That makes me feel kind of sad.

-Aww.

I think she's lonely and I think the shopping is almost

a replacement for having someone in her life to love and to cherish and

so, instead, she loves and cherishes all these other material things.

I've decided to pay Dipna's father, Gulu, a visit

at his restaurant to see what he thinks of his daughter's shopping

and her views about what might have started it.

She told me a bit about her upbringing and she had pretty much

had everything that she wanted. Do you think that has made her worse?

Er...I would say I am to blame a little. When we got married,

we were longing for a child, I'd been going to temples, to shrines,

we waited nearly six years and our prayers were answered.

That was the proudest moment and I wanted to get her anything

she said, she was like a little princess, she still is.

How does it then make you feel that Dipna says shopping is her

partner and shopping is the biggest thing in her life?

I think that is not a very serious problem. Drinking is

a serious problem, or drugs is a serious problem, more than shopping.

But if Dipna is addicted to shopping,

could that not be just as dangerous, or as harmful

and as limiting to her life as drinking or taking drugs?

No, I don't think so. She's a free person, that's how I can put her...

But is she, Gulu? Because Dipna has said to me that she

would love to have children and that

she thinks if she had children,

she wouldn't need to be shopping so much because

she would have something else to fill her time, but by spending

so much of her time and her energies and her efforts and her money, of

course, shopping, is she preventing herself from getting to that point?

She's taking her time to getting the right person

and, of course, I think once she gets married, she will then realise how

she's got to maintain her lifestyle, things will change.

I think, in a way, what she's doing is how she is,

so I cannot change too much of that.

Talking to Dipna's dad,

so many little things kind of fall into place, but I don't think

he really got the fact that the shopping could be getting

in the way of Dipna living her life and moving forward with her future.

It feels to me that because shopping is universal,

something we all do, it's all too easy for compulsive shoppers

and their families to bury their heads in the sand.

I'm going to see Ebony today and I'd like to get to the

bottom of what is going on, because it's all fun, it's all a game,

but...I think that's a veneer.

I'm hoping she'll let me see what she stores in her secret room

and open up enough for me to understand

why she's filling her house with so much stuff.

-Hi.

-Hi, how are you?

I've actually got some really good bargains.

-Have you?

-Definitely.

-What kind of things?

Electric blankets.

Electric blankets? How many did you get?

Er, five. And a few other bits and pieces.

Oh, go on, tell me. What else?

I got two jackets, three clocks, a pair of shoes, but my feet

were hurting me, so I had to go and buy a pair.

I got this really nice bra and knicker set, a CD,

three of those doughnuts, three croissants.

Oh, and now I see why. You got three packets of each

because they were reduced?

Absolutely, but I only went out for tortillas and mayonnaise!

What happens then, you go out to buy tortilla

-and you come back with so much other stuff?

-I don't know.

I didn't even want to stop. But if I don't spoil myself,

no-one's going to spoil me, so I might as well do it.

So when you buy things for yourself, what are you doing there?

Oh, what am I doing? I'm making myself feel happy for a little while.

Why don't you show me where you're keeping your stuff?

You seem like you really don't want to go.

I really don't want to go into this room, because it's a complete mess.

I really don't want to.

-So you actually keep your living room locked?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-OK, so you store quite a lot of stuff in here.

I'm supposed to be decorating, or trying

to find someone to help me decorate.

You're planning to decorate.

Well, I bought three sets of wallpaper.

I'm not quite sure which to put where.

You just bought three sets of wallpaper without knowing

where they're going to go?

-Yeah, but they were only £2.50 each.

-OK.

I just wonder if sometimes you get swept up with an idea

and you buy all the stuff to go with it, like the wallpaper

and the paint because it's on discount, and then

whatever it is you're planning to do with it doesn't materialise.

It's the wrong way round.

I'll see the bargains, I'll buy the bargains and when I bring them

here, I think, "What can I do with it?" Then I do something with it.

-Right.

-It's the other way round.

-So it's completely driven by you seeing a bargain?

-Yup.

-And you think, "I've bought it now, I need to make use of it."

-Yup.

What about all this lot?

-Some of my tools. See? Just as good as shoes.

-Really?

-Yeah, absolutely. This is new.

-What is it?

It's an angle grinder.

Do you have much use for an angle grinder?

Yup, I will be, be using it very soon.

-I see more tool boxes.

-More tools.

It's just dawning on me the size of what you're dealing with

on a day-to-day basis when you're going out and you're

tempted to buy something, it's not just one type of thing.

No. There's another toolbox down there.

And does it matter if you use them or not, or if you need them or not?

I always use tools, eventually.

It's a really sad situation, actually. I was totally not

prepared for that.

I thought she was a girl who likes shoes, likes jackets, likes clothes,

straightforward, but she's got these projects on the go,

but they're not really ever getting started.

What's in there, then?

Some more tools.

And now, seeing everything makes me

realise this is much bigger than I realised in the beginning and

definitely a much bigger issue than she realises herself at the moment.

In Yorkshire, it's Dene's favourite time of the day.

I've quite a lot coming today and it's big excitement.

It's a buzz I get every morning, I'm here, I'm waiting for him.

I never know what's coming.

Karen sees things differently.

I'm just thinking, "Oh, my God, how much, what is it, do we need it?"

It upsets me, really, because it's a waste of money.

It's money we could be doing something constructive with.

Hi, there. Thank you.

One, two, three, four, five, six,

seven, eight, nine, ten today.

It's like Christmas.

It really worries me, to be honest with you. On a daily basis,

I'm trying to find where to put things.

It's exciting, isn't it?

I can't get into this one.

What's this, Boo, eh?

-Oh, wow.

-I want to see what else I've got, so you can take that.

Are you bored with this now?

Just a little bit, we'll see what's in this one now.

I'll put that over there.

It's the bidding and the winning and then opening the parcels.

They are like presents to him, I think, that's how he looks at them.

But it is just that thrill.

Hawaiian shirts are something I do buy and I do collect them,

like my watches and guitars and things.

That is actually essential, that, because everything has to match.

I don't think that will even fit Dene.

That's out of Dene's mind now, today's purchases,

he's on tomorrow's.

It's gone up, I've still been outbid.

So I'm going up to £15.09 now.

He just continues to just buy and buy and buy and I'd

say 75% of the items we receive,

we don't really need, want or require.

I'm the high bidder. I'm winning the bid, yay!

Dene's on his fourth marriage.

I really want him to spend more time with Karen

and rediscover the world outside of online auctions.

I'm asking him to try something he has NEVER done before -

go cold turkey.

-Delete eBay.

-OK.

Gone. There you go.

Feels like I've lost my hand. I bet you're surprised I've done that.

-I'm really surprised you've actually done it.

-I bet you are.

Think of all the time you'll have to yourself now.

And more time for you as well.

That'll be nice.

Dene's agreed to try and stay off the auction site for three weeks.

I think the hardest part of not going online is

I do it, it's just automatic for me. We could be sat

watching TV, but I'm always on there looking at what's happening. That's

going to be the hardest part, not having it there at the side of me.

Dene will be starving himself of a habit he's fed eight hours a day,

day in and day out, for years.

It's like a little break this, isn't it? Just getting out.

We need to make more time to do something like this, because

a cup of coffee and a sandwich is nowhere near as much as you'd

-spend on the internet.

-Yeah.

To help Dene, I've suggested he uses some of the time freed up from

shopping to get rid of the stuff he's stored in friend's garages and

warehouses all over Yorkshire by selling it at a car boot.

I actually bought this from eBay to try and learn the keyboard.

It had all the things on there, all the different notes,

something I bought on a whim really and I think I played it once.

A lot of it is just a load of rubbish really, isn't it?

By facing up to the things he's buried in boxes,

I hope to open Dene's eyes to what's truly important.

These bring back some memories, look.

Amongst piles of discarded purchases,

Dene stores memorabilia from his past life as an '80s pop star.

That's me with Black Lace, there.

It just means so much, when you look back on your life,

what you've achieved and done.

I'm upset that they've just been put into a box and closed up

and put away in storage.

The other things are immaterial really, they mean nothing,

but when you open that up and you find what used to be...

Brought a tear to my eye, that did.

I know you shouldn't always live on your past,

but it is, it's just lovely memories of my life.

As Dene's popstar-dom waned, online shopping filled the gap.

It's seductive stuff and easy to see how without it,

his life feels empty.

Another day, this is getting harder and harder not to go on.

To be honest, I had a sneaky look on yesterday,

but I did manage not to buy anything.

In West London, I want to see

if Dipna might be up for a similar challenge.

Not just to stop shopping, but to think about why she shops

and how else she might spend her time.

Say three weeks?

Three weeks?

Yeah, cos I think that will be enough time to, you know, it'd be

a challenge, but it would be enough time to see how it affects you.

Three weeks is a very long time, that's...that's unrealistic.

Two weeks I could still...

Two weeks, you think you can do?

Yeah.

And how will you go about avoiding the temptation to shop?

I'll have to find something to do.

Yes! Exactly! That's exactly what you will have to do.

Go on a couple of dates.

Hmm, doesn't sound as exciting as shopping,

but I could always try!

Dipna may be laughing now, but as I leave her to it,

I know it's not going to be easy.

Today, my first proper day,

I really need to buy something and it's getting me quite down

and, I don't know, making me a bit depressed I guess.

Right now it just feels like I haven't been shopping for ages

and it's actually starting to piss me off.

It's making me pretty grumpy.

20 miles away in Weybridge,

I've suggested a slightly different strategy for Ebony.

From kitchen blenders, to garden tools,

Ebony gets her buzz from bargains, going out for one thing

and returning with multiples of anything on offer.

I bought three of these teddy bears

and I bought four of these little mini ones.

But she's cluttering up her house and her life with stuff

she doesn't need and can barely afford.

So I've asked her to write a shopping list and stick to it.

OK, everything that I need from one shop.

I have to visualise the shops, so dog food...

But despite best intentions...

Right, just one second.

..it seems she soon falls back into old ways.

Let me show you what I bought.

£9 tin

and what did Ebony find it for?

Do-do, 50p!

And yes, I did buy more than one.

Do-do-do!

50p!

I'm sorry but there is just no way I am going to walk past them.

When I caught up with Ebony two weeks later,

I quickly realised she'd fallen off the wagon big time.

-That's new.

-Really?

-Yeah.

40 inch flatscreen TVs and tablets don't come cheap.

I bought a couple of those.

I urgently needed a filing cabinet.

-Right, you got two of these?

-So I ended up with two of these.

-And one of these?

-Yep.

-So that's new as well.

-This is new.

I'm not sure the shopping list idea helped at all.

So, Ebony, given everything you've just shown me,

all the shopping you have done, have you got a shopping problem?

Oh, my God, that's a hard question.

I'm only looking for a one-word answer.

-I don't think I have.

-No.

And even with all the discussions

and being aware of everything you're buying,

all of that hasn't altered the way you look at your shopping?

Not really.

No, that's what I'm saying, I'm still doing the same shopping.

I'm not not doing the shopping,

it hasn't got me to the stage where I'm so guilty

that I'm actually stopping.

The whole point of having a shopping list is not to make you feel guilty

if you buy something that's off the list,

it's just to see whether if you yourself can remain focused

-and aware...

-Yeah.

-..of what you are going out to buy

and how easy it is for you to get led astray

and come back having spent £200 on a new TV.

It's not about going and spending, you know, a couple of quid

on stain remover for the kid's shirts.

No, you see, I think you are wrong

because at the end of the day if the whole exercise was that

I chose to stick to the list

then it doesn't matter whether it's a spray or a TV.

No, but you've just proved that you find it really difficult

to stick to the list,

whether it's a spray or whether it's a TV or it's whatever.

No, I've done it, I've gone out with the list. Does it give me a buzz? No.

Cos I've gone in there, I've got what I have to do

and then I have to go to work then I have to come back, do all the...

So there's nothing exciting in my life.

I'm not going out partying, I haven't got a partner.

Please tell me, where is my little bit of escape?

OK, so was that shopping list exercise pointless in your opinion?

Yeah, a little bit.

You could say if Ebony doesn't have a problem with her shopping,

who am I to argue?

But it's not just Ebony that her compulsive shopping affects.

-Knock-knock, guys.

-You all right?

-How's it going?

-Not too bad, yourself?

-Can I sit down?

-Yeah.

So tell me,

what do you two think about your mum's shopping?

It's ridiculous. Way too much.

-She shops so much.

-What do you think, River?

Yeah, it's just like crazy, she always like just goes out

and buys random stuff that she never uses.

You just know she doesn't have the money for it

and if she's not going to use it, what's the point in buying it?

It's weird not being able to go to certain places in my own house

because there's too many stuff in there.

What would change if you were able

to get the living room sorted and cleared?

Just the fact that we would have an actual house

instead of a giant storage facility.

I'm determined not to give up on Ebony.

It's three weeks since I asked Dene to go cold turkey

from his beloved online auctions.

I've been thinking about Dene quite a lot since I last saw him

and, you know, it seems really sad,

that, you know, he did so many things

and had all this fame and fortune

and now he's a person who would rather stay in and shop online,

rather than go out with friends or with his wife and socialise,

and that sort of turnaround, it really puts things into perspective.

So how have you been since I last saw you?

-I've kept my promise.

-Have you?

Yes, I have, although I've had a look,

had a sneaky look at something,

-at a Rolls-Royce that I was looking at.

-Are you being serious?

But I didn't get it because Karen said you can't have one

so I didn't bid or anything.

But I used to have a Rolls-Royce many years ago

when I lived in Spain but I can't afford one any more so that's gone.

It feels like a lot of your shopping

is because of memories from the past.

Yeah, how I used to live.

Dene's made another big step.

Not only has he not bought anything new,

he's getting rid of much of the stuff he already has.

Some clothes there.

I'm wondering what Karen makes of the new Dene.

What's he been like the last three weeks

when he's not going on buying shopping?

-He's been a little bit like a lost boy.

-Really?

-Yeah.

And after you'd been here last time,

there were still parcels being delivered ten days later.

And it was things he'd forgotten that he'd ordered.

But he's lost interest,

he doesn't even go to the letter box for the letters now.

We've eaten out a lot, so that's been nice.

We've had more time.

I think he's secretly realised that he's got a problem going on here

and it's opened his eyes quite a lot.

Oh, wow.

Gosh, so much, isn't it?

I'm just sorting everything out, what we're going to keep

and what we're going to take to the car boot.

OK, so they're all memories, scrapbooks and things

so I'll keep those.

Dene, international cabaret star.

That's when I used to do the cruise ships.

So you must miss that life of making records and...

Yeah, I miss being on there and in the limelight, if you like.

I think it's one thing to save things

but it's another thing entirely

-being dependent on...

-Yeah.

-..bidding on something

and winning it for that little rush of happiness that it gives you and

when you get huge success or you get recognised in the street

or you've got fans coming after you,

-that must give you that same little buzz.

-Oh, it does, yeah.

-But it must be on a much larger scale.

-Yeah.

You know when you win the bid, is it like a round of applause?

I suppose it is really, it's like getting that round of applause.

I think that's probably what it is, that little bit of a...

That might be what it is, why I do that then.

When you say it in that way, yeah.

Yeah.

And what's to stop you going back to this in the future?

-I don't think I will.

-But why don't you think you will?

-I just don't think I will, do you think I will now?

-Yeah.

Do you, really? I mean...

I think it'll just slowly get back.

Well, I don't think so, I think I can do it.

And I've realised now.

I really hope Dene can prove Karen wrong for her sake

just as much as his.

In West London, after two weeks without shopping,

Dipna's lost no time returning to old habits.

Whatever happens with her shopping, no matter how much she shops,

she's always going to have a roof over her head,

there'll be food on the table,

she's going to have a car to drive

so really she feels there's nothing to lose,

whereas when I look at it,

I see that what she's sacrificing for shopping is actually a future.

It's having the life that she really wants.

The perfectionist in Dipna rose to the challenge

but she clearly didn't enjoy it.

-I was a bit depressed on some days.

-Were you?

-Yeah, I was a bit down.

When I was busy, I was still myself and I was still happy.

There were just times when I was moody and a little bit depressed

and I think those times especially when I was left alone,

when I came home from work and no-one was here.

Think about what you just said.

It was when you came home, there was nobody here

and you were on your own.

Do you not think that maybe that comes from loneliness?

You know, you're 30 years old and you live at home which is fine

but you've said that you'd like to get married,

you'd like to have a home of your own.

Is the shopping not just standing in the way

of you doing those things that you want to do?

No, I don't think so because even tomorrow if I did get married,

I don't think I would stop shopping completely.

It would still be a part of me because it's something I love to do

but I would never let shopping kind of stand in the way.

When I meet Mum, I realise Dipna's shopping covers up

a much bigger fear than of being single.

Do you think, Shushmer, that Dipna will find it hard to adapt

to not being with you?

I can say that with hand on my heart

that she'll find it difficult, more than the shopping...

-Yeah, for sure.

-..leaving me.

I mean, leaving the house.

That's what's stopping her from getting married, I think.

-Are you OK?

-Yeah.

Does it upset you?

It's almost nicer to just stay here with Mum and Dad

and not have to really grow up and pay bills and get married

and leave the security of home.

If I could...

I would give up shopping tomorrow

so long as I could stay with Mum and Dad forever.

It's really interesting because it seems like your main problem

is not shopping, it just comes out in shopping

but actually the underlying thing that's going on is that

you don't want to leave home.

I can't even think about the day when I have to leave home,

I just can't think of it without getting upset.

-But she has to go one day.

-And it's hard, isn't it?

It's that lovely safe bubble.

Yeah, where I feel safest and most secure.

To begin with, I really thought that her shopping was holding her back

and preventing her from moving on with her life.

If the day comes when Dipna feels ready to leave home and get married

and have a family of her own and at that point,

maybe her shopping will subside

because she won't rely on it so much, she won't need it any more.

But I think until that day comes,

Dipna will keep shopping because she's clinging on to her childhood.

While Dipna seems desperate to keep hold of what's familiar,

Ebony wants nothing more than to escape her everyday life.

Today, I'm here to help Ebony do some clearing.

She's overwhelmed by all the different projects that need doing,

by the decorating, by the clutter, by the garden

and so she goes out and when she goes out, she ends up shopping

and bringing more stuff back to the house

and I think that for a lot of people,

and Ebony being one of them, the state of your home quite often

reflects the state of your mind and so I think clearing the decks

and making some space, will be also really important mentally for her.

I've persuaded Ebony to recycle some of her clutter,

including some of the many things she's bought and never used.

-We've got our work cut out for us today, haven't we?

-Yes, we do.

Are you looking forward to this?

Yeah, I'm too happy. I'm trying to hold it down!

Don't hold it down.

What do you want to start with?

I don't know, let's just go for it.

Let's just throw it all away!

First piece to go, yes!

-Sorry.

-Happy?

I'm just so happy right now, I can't stop laughing.

See, boys, doesn't this feel much better?

Is it nice to have the kids helping?

Yeah, but you know they're only willing because you're here.

-Are you serious?

-I swear.

Chance, is it true your mum said that if I wasn't here,

-you wouldn't be helping?

-Yeah.

Told ya.

-Why wouldn't you help?

-Do I get paid for this, Mum?

No, you don't get paid for it.

Wow.

I think we might need another skip.

I know and we haven't even gone to the shed yet.

We haven't even touched the shed,

we've hardly even scratched the surface of the garden.

Ebony has put off clearing her shed for several years.

I know I've got quite a few baby stuff in there.

How long have they been in there, since they were babies?

No, it wasn't for them, you know, cos I miscarried a couple of them.

You know I started getting the stuff,

cos you get all excited once three months is up.

This is quite a few years back now, couple of years back

so I haven't been in there since I put all the girls' clothes in.

I've just bunged them at the back there.

I know there's a cot in there and baby walkers

and so there's a lot of baby stuff in there so...

It's got to go.

I didn't realise that Ebony had had a miscarriage

so going through the shed where she's kept all the baby stuff

is going to be really hard as well

and so it's kind of understandable that she's put it off.

And actually going shopping is one way of filling her time

and just avoiding doing all these things

that are a bit overwhelming.

A, to do it on your own

and B, to go back and relive those painful memories.

Right, let's get the cot out. At least let's get the cot out.

I actually can't get over it that you are able to just carry on.

-What can I do?

-No, I know, it's amazing.

-OK.

-Just carry on.

-Aw. You still all right?

-Yeah.

I can't do it, I thought I'd be able to just, you know, just...

But I think I'm going to have to keep that one.

-You, my darling...

-Stop it.

-..you have got an absolute heart of gold

and you're keeping everything going for everybody else.

You should be really proud of yourself.

I hope Ebony can see the positives of what she's achieved today.

That is nuts, isn't it?

Oh, my gosh.

That's like a big brick has been taken off my shoulder.

-It's really liberating, isn't it?

-Yeah, it is.

Not to have that stuff hanging around your neck.

Yeah, just throw it.

But when you look at it, do you also partly think, "What a waste,

"because that is all stuff that I have bought."

Yeah, it is a waste but...

I'm not in a rush to do it again, so...

-Are you not?

-No.

-It's been a really good exercise in that way.

THIS has been a good exercise,

I don't know about the shopping list

but this is definitely a good exercise.

Have you also learnt that there are much greater pleasures in life

than the buzz of going shopping?

Of course. Of course there is.

So today totally beats the buzz of shopping?

Totally.

Absolutely 100%.

One day can't change a lifetime of habits

but one day can inspire somebody.

You know for Ebony,

today, this has been way better than any shopping trip.

I'm not sure she'll ever resist the lure

of a spur of the moment bargain altogether,

but at least she knows there are bigger buzzes out there.

I'm keen to know if it's the same for Dene in Yorkshire,

whether four weeks after I last saw him,

he's been able to confound Karen's doubts

and stay clear of online auctions.

I'm very careful what I buy.

I mean I've not bought anything off, from eBay since we spoke last.

-That's progress.

-Yes, it is, yeah.

When we first met, you were quite reluctant

-to even go out and socialise...

-I was.

-..because you had bids that were finishing...

-And I was watching.

-Yeah.

-So how has stopping online shopping changed your life?

I think it's brought Karen and I closer together,

-I think we spend a lot more time together.

-Time you wouldn't have had.

-That's right.

-If you'd have been shopping.

-Cos I would have been shopping on there.

-What did Karen say?

She said it's better now,

your computer and everything else is in there

and we sit in there without any interruptions,

that we can communicate more together

and I can honestly say that I'm not addicted any more, which is great.

-Amazing.

-Yeah, I'm in a different place now.

I'm really proud of Dene and really happy for Karen.

I've learnt that for compulsive shoppers,

a disorder that masquerades as a harmless pastime can, in reality,

be addictive and dangerous.

Used to combat underlying unhappiness,

it ends up contributing to it.

What I've realised is that when people who shop compulsively

acknowledge that they've got a problem

and begin to understand the reasons why they shop,

then there is hope

and with the right help, they can reclaim their lives.