Double Mastectomy Twins

This programme contains some strong language and some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.

I don't really remember a lot about her. I know she was bald. She had a wig.

She used to whip it off in the shop, just to make people laugh.

But I don't really remember a great deal about her.

I don't know, it's weird.

Where have you dug this up from?

Out of our memory boxes.

Out of your memory box.

Did your mum start the memory box?

-Yep.

-Is that Rose and that's you?

Yeah, because I am the fat one.

She was 33

and she had her first lumpectomy.

She was in and out of hospital for seven years

and she died when she was 39.

You can't remember what happened to your mum, but anybody who had

seen that would want to get rid of them.

Charlotte got a letter last May to say that Mum had the BRCA2 gene.

It was basically a letter that said when we were 30,

they wanted to do MRIs but they also wanted to talk to us about the risk

of having a BRCA gene.

Then we decided that we would both get tested for the gene.

If a parent has a faulty BRCA gene,

each of their children will have a one-in-two chance of inheriting

a faulty gene from them, and if somebody carries a BRCA gene,

then the risks of certain cancers can be increased.

The breast cancer risk could be as high as 85%.

The wait was horrible. Every day, it was like,

oh, God, we are one day closer.

It was an emotional time, but I was the calmest I had ever been in

the appointment and when they told Rob and I,

I think one tear ran down my cheek

and then we held hands and we knew what we were going to do.

I think I convinced myself that I already had it.

My friend Abby came with me and we both had this really small cry

and then it was like, "Right, OK," I kind of just knew...

that I had it.

And then I had to wait, I think,

just under three weeks for Charlotte to get her results back.

I went to that appointment knowing my decision,

knowing I would be tested and knowing that if I had the gene,

I would have a double mastectomy.

For us as twins,

the best thing was that we both had it or neither of us had it,

so that one didn't feel guilty.

I have got this top,

but obviously, it doesn't leave too much to the imagination.

I wore this when I was skinny and had pert boobs.

Put that top on...

-Yeah.

-..and then there's different places we're going to try it,

we're going to do a photo there, a photo in the front room...

-Yeah.

-..a photo upstairs and a photo in one of the kids' bedrooms.

So why are you having these photographs taken, Rose?

-I want to have something to remember them by.

-Yeah?

Like, obviously, I know we all joke, but everyone knows me for my boobs.

-Yeah.

-And now they are still going to know me for my boobs,

but for a different reason.

Lee said, Lee said to me, "Which Rosie?" I went, "You know,

"Rosie who was at the wedding," and he went,

-"What, the one with the big tits?" I went, "Yeah, husband!"

-Yeah!

"Yeah, Rosie, the one with the big tits."

Did you see them all watch me with that bottle of wine?

Oh, God. Who wouldn't? Girls do as well, it's like total breast envy.

The older men that were there, they were all, like,

stood staring at me opening this...

I was like this. I had it in between my knees and I was like...

And I looked up and they were all looking at me

and I was like, "Wine, anyone?"

We look like sisters, we are sisters

and we are twins, but we are very different people.

God, it's like being on top of the world.

Oh, yes, that Tampax advert, look!

Oh, my God, stay there.

Always with wings.

She's crazier than me. I always say that, together,

we'd be an awesome person, because she's a bit

more outgoing than I am.

Tinder!

She's more confident than I am, I'm a bit more sensible, but

she is amazing and I don't think she realises it.

I'm not like Rose, I don't wear thongs.

Do you wear bigger underwear?

Yeah, I'm a big knicker girl.

I'm in a nine-year relationship!

She's very organised, she's got a job, she's got a fiance.

I have neither.

She's just really sweet and happy.

One of the nicest people on the planet.

Bugsy, how are you?

How are you? Are you a good boy?

I was very lucky in that taking my GCSEs,

'I knew that I wanted to be a vet nurse.'

Ears are fine.

That is fine. Do you let me look in your mouth?

Good boy. Lovely teeth!

'Collectively, we get each other through everything,'

-it is like a work family.

-We are a work family.

All done. All done, Bugsy.

I think there's only one day that you mopped tears,

but that was the very first day

I got the letter and I think that was just not knowing.

-Yeah.

-That was...

-It was the shock...

-Yeah.

Gran had always said something about Mum's genes being stored at

Christie's Cancer Hospital and we kind of just thought, oh, you know,

we didn't quite understand, no-one really explained what it was.

So I think pink means that they died of cancer,

and X means that they have passed away.

So it's not a very cheery family tree,

because unfortunately, Dad lost both his parents and his sister

to heart problems.

From Mum's side, she died of breast cancer when she was 39.

We believe that it is coming down from my grandpa's side.

His mum had breast cancer.

But also his auntie.

It was only recently that they actually tracked

that there was genes that were causing people to develop cancer,

so I just feel really lucky that we are in the generation that we can

start making changes and we can start changing the future, really.

And hopefully, by the time we have our children,

before they even have to worry about testing,

there might be something else that means they do not have to go through

what we have, just like we are going through things that our ancestors,

you know, would have chosen

to go through if they had the chance, so...

So, this was attempt one.

-Yeah, I saw that.

-I think that one had an accident.

So, anything better than this, really.

Go, Sophie. Go, go, go!

-Oh, my God.

-Oh, no...

-Have I got to be quiet?

THEY LAUGH

OK...

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

OK, right, we are getting some on now.

Hang on.

I will miss them, I think any woman, it is going to feel weird

without them being there, and it is about the only emotional thing,

I don't care about the surgery, I don't care about anything else,

but it's just that they won't be my boobs any more.

But it is for the right reason and it is going to be the better reason.

Do you think, like, this has brought you closer?

-100%.

-We don't go a day without texting or WhatsApping or calling...

-Yeah.

-..finding out where each other's up to,

and I think it has made it easier,

especially now we are on our own path.

-People say, "Oh, you're having the same surgeon?"

-Yeah.

It's almost like, you're twins, you should...

Yeah, you should be at the same place.

"Oh, your sister's having it somewhere else?" "Yeah."

We are our own individuals and we don't...

Although we are worried about each other,

we are making decisions for ourselves.

I think you just need to take... I'm trying to protect you,

because I know you won't want it torn.

I'm going to go both hands now!

Oh, you are acting coy now!

Rose, you have got amazing tits. I had to get my little ones out.

Right, grab a bin, let's get it mixed.

These are some legendary boobs we're touching right here.

-Oh, my God!

-Is it cold?

It is so cold!

Underneath...

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

I feel patting is the way to go. There's not enough on your nipple.

It feels quite emotional,

because it's a bit bittersweet, really, isn't it?

Well, I wouldn't say I have... that I feel anything about my boobs,

but when someone takes them off you,

then you kind of start to think that there is a feeling about them.

They're my greatest asset, everybody knows me for my boobs, don't they?

"What are you wearing tonight?" "Low cut top, maybe."

"Are you going to go legs out? "No, boobs out, legs out.

-"I'll do both."

-It's how I get my free drinks.

-Hold the boobs.

-Hold the boobs.

Wait there...

I can't see Rose.

-It's done.

-Oh, my nipples are stuck!

-What?

-It's the hair!

-ALL:

-Yay!

It might have a hair!

'Oh, my friends are like my family.'

I actually couldn't do any of it without them.

-When I say team, you say Rose. Team!

-Rose!

-Team!

-Rose!

-Yes!

-Oh, my God...

It's just something to remember the whole journey by, I think.

Maybe some people don't...

they don't mean as much to some people as they maybe mean to me,

I don't know. I don't even know why they do mean so much to me.

I think they're my confidence.

I think that's what it is.

And they are being taken away.

I'm surprisingly calm, I slept really well last night.

I woke up at 4:20 and then kind of niggled a bit, but...

and then I was asleep when my alarm went off, so...

'Rob is my fiance, we have been together for nine years.'

So this is an ordinary hour for you, Rob, isn't it?

-A lie-in.

-Yes!

-How did you meet?

-At a Young Farmers ball.

Yeah, I was very drunk and I didn't remember what he looked like.

I only knew it was him on our first date

because he was stood next to his green Jeep Cherokee.

I could've gone on a date with anybody,

as long as they stood next to that car.

I should get some bags.

Aye, I think it's just that one bag.

Nightie here?

'We don't really have to talk about it a lot,

'our decisions are made'

and we are doing it and...

..and, hopefully, in a couple of months,

it'll be something that we don't have to talk about any more.

I feel naked without my rings on and my necklace on.

In the night, I kept waking up...

..and... No, but I play with my engagement ring all the time,

I just, like, flick it with my thumb and I kept waking up in the night.

I might have to get you to bring them for me.

I think he will genuinely love me forever,

but even I don't know if I am going to like them,

so I can't really expect him to promise that he will like them.

We have seen pictures and we know that we have to be realistic,

but even I don't know whether I will look at them and go,

"Yes, I love them, they're amazing."

"We are thinking of you all day today,

"I know everything will be fine and your new boobs will look amazing.

"I can't wait to see them - pervy, I know."

I've been on dates...

..since I found out,

and I'm like, when do I tell them?

Do I tell them on the first date?

"Nice to meet you, I'm about to have a double mastectomy.

"Are you OK with that?"

I don't know when you... When are you meant to tell someone?

Why the fuck are they all putting it on Facebook?

"Today's the day we start our change..."

No, no, stop! Stop!

I don't understand why everyone is putting it on Facebook,

I don't want it on Facebook.

See, this is pissing me off and making me cry.

I don't want it on Facebook.

'I don't think they're as emotional as women.'

Women are like, "You are so brave, oh, gosh, it must be so difficult,"

like, going really soppy.

Whereas the men are like, "Right, good luck," or, "How are you?"

They don't go into so much detail with it.

They're quite blase about it.

Which I think can be better sometimes, can't it?

So, how is your dad dealing with it?

I think he supports us. He is a man of few words.

Erm, I think...

I think he probably wishes we didn't have to go through it, but...

And I think he's probably got an element of worry that maybe

makes him shut off a little bit more.

But he is supportive of both of us going through our surgery

and I think he does believe that it is the right thing to do.

I think if, you know...

He watched Mum go through it and I don't think he wants

to have to see us go through it either.

I need to write this letter to my dad.

What's the purpose of this letter, then?

Why are you giving him this letter?

I want him to know that I love him

more than anything else in the whole wide world.

I've got a thing that he's going to die today.

I'm convinced he's going to die while I'm in theatre.

He needs to look after himself, I need to look after myself,

do you know what I mean?

I just wanted to say hi and that I love you.

OK.

OK, I'll be thinking about you all day.

Right, I'll let you go.

All right, I love you lots.

Bye, love you, bye.

'Bye.'

Poorly, isn't he?

Yeah.

So, how is your dad?

He's not very well,

which is hard.

To watch another parent...

have cancer.

PEDESTRIAN CROSSING BEEPS

-Definitely got your phone?

-Yeah.

Got plenty of time, it's only quarter to.

Music is my escape.

Like, I always listen to music, don't I?

If I've got music, it doesn't matter.

I don't watch TV, really, do I, or anything?

I still don't feel like...

that I'm going to have an operation, do you know what I mean?

Oh, we're going to have to turn it up,

because there'll be some, like, some screeching sounds.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and I found my reason.

The reason is that, for me,

I don't have to do what Mum did.

I've got a chance to stop that from happening.

That's my reason.

# Are you thinking about you or us?

# BABY...

# NO, NO, NO, NO!

# Look back before you leave my life

# Don't leave my life... #

They're always like, "Oh, you're so brave, are you not scared?"

Do you want me to be scared? Cos I'm not.

Like, am I supposed to be scared?

I don't feel scared. I feel liberated.

-Are you are OK?

-I'm OK. I need a piss.

-OK.

There's been very few times

where I've wobbled, where I have felt upset,

it's all been focusing on the long game, which is to get through

the surgery but then to hopefully be

on the other side of it with a reduced risk of cancer.

Oh, mate, I feel sick.

Don't feel sick, we'll be fine.

Once I've done all my bits, it's just literally waiting to go down.

-I see that you've got some reading material with you.

-Yeah.

And can you confirm your full name and date of birth?

Rose Marie Turpie, and it's 19th of March, 1989.

You all right?

Yeah. Just getting ready to take my breasts out, yet again!

So, we are taking your nipples and doing immediate reconstruction

-to your nipples, aren't we?

-Yeah.

-All right.

-So, all that is at the moment is a little bit of laughing gas, OK?

-OK.

So you just breathe normally.

You're doing really well.

'This is nothing, in comparison to owt else.

'The worst-case scenario'

is that I end up like my mum.

We got picked up from school

and we went to my gran's friends

and then Dad picked us up and took us to the hospice,

and we ate triangular sandwiches and played in the playroom,

and we said goodbye to her and my Uncle Paul took us home

and bought us a big bag of prawn crackers from the Chinese.

So, we have got one patient on this afternoon,

Rose Turpie, who is a BRCA2 carrier,

so she's having risk-reducing mastectomies,

skin sparing, immediate reconstructions using implants,

stratis and nipple reconstructions at the same time,

using local fats and full thickness skin grafts.

So, this is all the breast tissue, you can see it is relatively big,

it gets a bit more when you go out towards the armpit,

and that is the nipple,

and we're just going to mark this and send it off to the lab.

When we woke up in the morning,

Dad came and said...

that she'd passed away.

And it's only upsetting now because I'm an adult.

When he told us, we got up and we went to school.

And it's only now I'm 27 that I realise what that meant.

Then...

Then, I don't think I realised.

I think when I was ten, you know,

it was rubbish not having a mum,

but I only remember the day she died and her funeral

and I don't remember anything else.

Now,

now I know that she didn't see me qualify and she didn't meet Rob.

And that she won't be at my wedding.

She always said, "Don't forget me,

"don't forget about me."

And then she died on Remembrance Day.

Which is, like, quite sweet, that's quite special.

How are you doing?

That's mental. They feel incredible.

-Are they small?

-No!

For everyone else, they were like,

"Oh, God, they look great. Oh, they look really big."

When I woke up, I was like, "They are tiny."

One isn't quite right.

I don't like looking in the mirror at them.

Because it takes a while to put them on, doesn't it?

Quite funny, actually, I saw my friend's dad,

I saw him in Morrisons afterwards and he came up to me,

he was like, "Can I hug you?" I was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

And he went, "How did it go?" I said, "Really well."

And he's like, "When are you having the reconstruction?"

I was like, "Look down!

"Look at them. You've always looked at them, look down!"

I said, "I've already had it."

"Oh, oh, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes."

So, I had my op yesterday.

Still feeling a bit sore and a bit tender across my chest.

Struggled initially with the pain relief

because it was making me feel sick.

I was a bit emotional yesterday because there's no dressings

underneath my nightie, so when I look down,

I can see my surgical sites.

And I knew I was going to be flat-chested,

but seeing it in reality

was more difficult than I thought it would be.

In my head, I looked awful.

Now, I will show people my wounds, I'm proud of them,

they've healed well, but it probably took a good week of Rob showing me

lots of TLC to get to the point where I felt they were OK.

We had our surgery and maybe it would have been different

if we hadn't have had to deal with Dad but, for me,

it kind of reaffirmed that

-going through the surgery was the right thing.

-Yeah.

Definitely.

"How can I tell my heart that you have gone away?

"I want to make things right, but I don't know what to say.

"I'm lonely and I'm sad and I cannot believe you've gone.

"Others tell me to get over it, they say I must move on.

"They don't know how I feel and they would not know where to start.

"One minute I was happy and then my world was ripped apart."

I'd do it again.

I think that's my thing now, like,

every funeral now that we're going that's a family one,

I think I'm going to have to do a poem.

I think I've started a thing.

A thing! Let's not rush into the next one.

No.

'30th May, I found out he had cancer.

'He died on the 30th September.'

That's not a long time.

"It is my right to mourn and learn to deal with grief.

"It's not what you see on the outside,

"but the way I feel underneath."

Right, girls.

Your mum wanted nighties to be saved.

She thought that because you were only seeing her in hospital,

you would only recognise her in nighties.

So, why are you giving the girls these things now, Jean?

I have had them since Sally died.

She wanted them to have them

and I did tell them about two years ago

and they didn't want to know,

but because they've been going through something

different themselves, they are now wanting to receive them.

-What's that?

-Oh, I think it's Mum's hair.

It's your mum's hair.

-Oh.

-And the thing is, darling, this is...

Her writing was beautiful.

But this is October 20th

and she died on November 11th,

and she was still trying to write beautifully.

My husband died two years before Sally,

so we've had quite a package at one time or another,

and this is why this operation is fantastic for them.

You're the survivors, aren't you, sat here in this room?

'Like I say to Char when she gets sad, like, the sad bit's done.

'The hard bit's done, like, now...

'you've got to make a happy future.

'You have to take the positives out of it.'

And there are so many positives,

as opposed to just not liking your body

or your body not looking normal or how it should.

That doesn't matter if you live longer, does it?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

That's what you were asking...

I don't know if I can have them this big.

This is like where I was when I was four!