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This programme contains some strong language and some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:06 | |
I don't really remember a lot about her. I know she was bald. She had a wig. | 0:00:06 | 0:00:09 | |
She used to whip it off in the shop, just to make people laugh. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
But I don't really remember a great deal about her. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
I don't know, it's weird. | 0:00:17 | 0:00:19 | |
Where have you dug this up from? | 0:00:22 | 0:00:24 | |
Out of our memory boxes. | 0:00:24 | 0:00:25 | |
Out of your memory box. | 0:00:25 | 0:00:27 | |
Did your mum start the memory box? | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
-Yep. -Is that Rose and that's you? | 0:00:29 | 0:00:31 | |
Yeah, because I am the fat one. | 0:00:31 | 0:00:34 | |
She was 33 | 0:00:35 | 0:00:38 | |
and she had her first lumpectomy. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:41 | |
She was in and out of hospital for seven years | 0:00:43 | 0:00:47 | |
and she died when she was 39. | 0:00:47 | 0:00:49 | |
You can't remember what happened to your mum, but anybody who had | 0:00:50 | 0:00:54 | |
seen that would want to get rid of them. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:57 | |
Charlotte got a letter last May to say that Mum had the BRCA2 gene. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:16 | |
It was basically a letter that said when we were 30, | 0:01:18 | 0:01:21 | |
they wanted to do MRIs but they also wanted to talk to us about the risk | 0:01:21 | 0:01:25 | |
of having a BRCA gene. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:26 | |
Then we decided that we would both get tested for the gene. | 0:01:35 | 0:01:39 | |
If a parent has a faulty BRCA gene, | 0:01:44 | 0:01:49 | |
each of their children will have a one-in-two chance of inheriting | 0:01:49 | 0:01:52 | |
a faulty gene from them, and if somebody carries a BRCA gene, | 0:01:52 | 0:01:56 | |
then the risks of certain cancers can be increased. | 0:01:56 | 0:02:01 | |
The breast cancer risk could be as high as 85%. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:04 | |
The wait was horrible. Every day, it was like, | 0:02:07 | 0:02:10 | |
oh, God, we are one day closer. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
It was an emotional time, but I was the calmest I had ever been in | 0:02:15 | 0:02:19 | |
the appointment and when they told Rob and I, | 0:02:19 | 0:02:22 | |
I think one tear ran down my cheek | 0:02:22 | 0:02:25 | |
and then we held hands and we knew what we were going to do. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:28 | |
I think I convinced myself that I already had it. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:35 | |
My friend Abby came with me and we both had this really small cry | 0:02:35 | 0:02:39 | |
and then it was like, "Right, OK," I kind of just knew... | 0:02:39 | 0:02:42 | |
that I had it. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
And then I had to wait, I think, | 0:02:44 | 0:02:45 | |
just under three weeks for Charlotte to get her results back. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:49 | |
I went to that appointment knowing my decision, | 0:02:51 | 0:02:53 | |
knowing I would be tested and knowing that if I had the gene, | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
I would have a double mastectomy. | 0:02:56 | 0:02:58 | |
For us as twins, | 0:03:00 | 0:03:03 | |
the best thing was that we both had it or neither of us had it, | 0:03:03 | 0:03:06 | |
so that one didn't feel guilty. | 0:03:06 | 0:03:09 | |
I have got this top, | 0:03:24 | 0:03:27 | |
but obviously, it doesn't leave too much to the imagination. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:33 | |
I wore this when I was skinny and had pert boobs. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:36 | |
Put that top on... | 0:03:36 | 0:03:37 | |
-Yeah. -..and then there's different places we're going to try it, | 0:03:37 | 0:03:41 | |
we're going to do a photo there, a photo in the front room... | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
-Yeah. -..a photo upstairs and a photo in one of the kids' bedrooms. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:46 | |
So why are you having these photographs taken, Rose? | 0:03:49 | 0:03:52 | |
-I want to have something to remember them by. -Yeah? | 0:03:52 | 0:03:56 | |
Like, obviously, I know we all joke, but everyone knows me for my boobs. | 0:03:56 | 0:04:01 | |
-Yeah. -And now they are still going to know me for my boobs, | 0:04:01 | 0:04:05 | |
but for a different reason. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:07 | |
Lee said, Lee said to me, "Which Rosie?" I went, "You know, | 0:04:07 | 0:04:10 | |
"Rosie who was at the wedding," and he went, | 0:04:10 | 0:04:12 | |
-"What, the one with the big tits?" I went, "Yeah, husband!" -Yeah! | 0:04:12 | 0:04:16 | |
"Yeah, Rosie, the one with the big tits." | 0:04:16 | 0:04:20 | |
Did you see them all watch me with that bottle of wine? | 0:04:20 | 0:04:23 | |
Oh, God. Who wouldn't? Girls do as well, it's like total breast envy. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:27 | |
The older men that were there, they were all, like, | 0:04:27 | 0:04:29 | |
stood staring at me opening this... | 0:04:29 | 0:04:31 | |
I was like this. I had it in between my knees and I was like... | 0:04:31 | 0:04:36 | |
And I looked up and they were all looking at me | 0:04:36 | 0:04:38 | |
and I was like, "Wine, anyone?" | 0:04:38 | 0:04:40 | |
We look like sisters, we are sisters | 0:04:40 | 0:04:43 | |
and we are twins, but we are very different people. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
God, it's like being on top of the world. | 0:04:46 | 0:04:48 | |
Oh, yes, that Tampax advert, look! | 0:04:48 | 0:04:51 | |
Oh, my God, stay there. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:53 | |
Always with wings. | 0:04:53 | 0:04:55 | |
She's crazier than me. I always say that, together, | 0:04:55 | 0:04:57 | |
we'd be an awesome person, because she's a bit | 0:04:57 | 0:05:00 | |
more outgoing than I am. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:01 | |
Tinder! | 0:05:01 | 0:05:02 | |
She's more confident than I am, I'm a bit more sensible, but | 0:05:04 | 0:05:07 | |
she is amazing and I don't think she realises it. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
I'm not like Rose, I don't wear thongs. | 0:05:10 | 0:05:14 | |
Do you wear bigger underwear? | 0:05:14 | 0:05:16 | |
Yeah, I'm a big knicker girl. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:18 | |
I'm in a nine-year relationship! | 0:05:18 | 0:05:19 | |
She's very organised, she's got a job, she's got a fiance. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:25 | |
I have neither. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:27 | |
She's just really sweet and happy. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:30 | |
One of the nicest people on the planet. | 0:05:30 | 0:05:32 | |
Bugsy, how are you? | 0:05:38 | 0:05:41 | |
How are you? Are you a good boy? | 0:05:41 | 0:05:43 | |
I was very lucky in that taking my GCSEs, | 0:05:43 | 0:05:46 | |
'I knew that I wanted to be a vet nurse.' | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
Ears are fine. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:50 | |
That is fine. Do you let me look in your mouth? | 0:05:50 | 0:05:53 | |
Good boy. Lovely teeth! | 0:05:53 | 0:05:54 | |
'Collectively, we get each other through everything,' | 0:05:54 | 0:05:57 | |
-it is like a work family. -We are a work family. | 0:05:57 | 0:06:00 | |
All done. All done, Bugsy. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:03 | |
I think there's only one day that you mopped tears, | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
but that was the very first day | 0:06:05 | 0:06:06 | |
I got the letter and I think that was just not knowing. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
-Yeah. -That was... -It was the shock... -Yeah. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:11 | |
Gran had always said something about Mum's genes being stored at | 0:06:11 | 0:06:16 | |
Christie's Cancer Hospital and we kind of just thought, oh, you know, | 0:06:16 | 0:06:20 | |
we didn't quite understand, no-one really explained what it was. | 0:06:20 | 0:06:24 | |
So I think pink means that they died of cancer, | 0:06:27 | 0:06:30 | |
and X means that they have passed away. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:33 | |
So it's not a very cheery family tree, | 0:06:36 | 0:06:39 | |
because unfortunately, Dad lost both his parents and his sister | 0:06:39 | 0:06:43 | |
to heart problems. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:44 | |
From Mum's side, she died of breast cancer when she was 39. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:50 | |
We believe that it is coming down from my grandpa's side. | 0:06:52 | 0:06:55 | |
His mum had breast cancer. | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
But also his auntie. | 0:07:01 | 0:07:02 | |
It was only recently that they actually tracked | 0:07:04 | 0:07:06 | |
that there was genes that were causing people to develop cancer, | 0:07:06 | 0:07:10 | |
so I just feel really lucky that we are in the generation that we can | 0:07:10 | 0:07:14 | |
start making changes and we can start changing the future, really. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:18 | |
And hopefully, by the time we have our children, | 0:07:18 | 0:07:21 | |
before they even have to worry about testing, | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
there might be something else that means they do not have to go through | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
what we have, just like we are going through things that our ancestors, | 0:07:26 | 0:07:30 | |
you know, would have chosen | 0:07:30 | 0:07:32 | |
to go through if they had the chance, so... | 0:07:32 | 0:07:35 | |
So, this was attempt one. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:45 | |
-Yeah, I saw that. -I think that one had an accident. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:49 | |
So, anything better than this, really. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:52 | |
Go, Sophie. Go, go, go! | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
-Oh, my God. -Oh, no... -Have I got to be quiet? | 0:07:55 | 0:07:58 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:07:58 | 0:08:02 | |
OK... | 0:08:02 | 0:08:03 | |
THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER | 0:08:03 | 0:08:06 | |
OK, right, we are getting some on now. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:08 | |
Hang on. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:09 | |
I will miss them, I think any woman, it is going to feel weird | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
without them being there, and it is about the only emotional thing, | 0:08:14 | 0:08:17 | |
I don't care about the surgery, I don't care about anything else, | 0:08:17 | 0:08:20 | |
but it's just that they won't be my boobs any more. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:22 | |
But it is for the right reason and it is going to be the better reason. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:25 | |
Do you think, like, this has brought you closer? | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
-100%. -We don't go a day without texting or WhatsApping or calling... | 0:08:29 | 0:08:33 | |
-Yeah. -..finding out where each other's up to, | 0:08:33 | 0:08:35 | |
and I think it has made it easier, | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
especially now we are on our own path. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:39 | |
-People say, "Oh, you're having the same surgeon?" -Yeah. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
It's almost like, you're twins, you should... | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
Yeah, you should be at the same place. | 0:08:43 | 0:08:45 | |
"Oh, your sister's having it somewhere else?" "Yeah." | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
We are our own individuals and we don't... | 0:08:47 | 0:08:49 | |
Although we are worried about each other, | 0:08:49 | 0:08:51 | |
we are making decisions for ourselves. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:53 | |
I think you just need to take... I'm trying to protect you, | 0:08:53 | 0:08:56 | |
because I know you won't want it torn. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
I'm going to go both hands now! | 0:08:58 | 0:09:00 | |
Oh, you are acting coy now! | 0:09:02 | 0:09:04 | |
Rose, you have got amazing tits. I had to get my little ones out. | 0:09:04 | 0:09:07 | |
Right, grab a bin, let's get it mixed. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:08 | |
These are some legendary boobs we're touching right here. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:11 | |
-Oh, my God! -Is it cold? | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
It is so cold! | 0:09:14 | 0:09:16 | |
Underneath... | 0:09:16 | 0:09:18 | |
THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER | 0:09:18 | 0:09:20 | |
I feel patting is the way to go. There's not enough on your nipple. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:24 | |
It feels quite emotional, | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
because it's a bit bittersweet, really, isn't it? | 0:09:27 | 0:09:31 | |
Well, I wouldn't say I have... that I feel anything about my boobs, | 0:09:31 | 0:09:34 | |
but when someone takes them off you, | 0:09:34 | 0:09:35 | |
then you kind of start to think that there is a feeling about them. | 0:09:35 | 0:09:39 | |
They're my greatest asset, everybody knows me for my boobs, don't they? | 0:09:39 | 0:09:42 | |
"What are you wearing tonight?" "Low cut top, maybe." | 0:09:42 | 0:09:44 | |
"Are you going to go legs out? "No, boobs out, legs out. | 0:09:44 | 0:09:47 | |
-"I'll do both." -It's how I get my free drinks. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:50 | |
-Hold the boobs. -Hold the boobs. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:51 | |
Wait there... | 0:09:51 | 0:09:52 | |
I can't see Rose. | 0:09:52 | 0:09:54 | |
-It's done. -Oh, my nipples are stuck! | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
-What? -It's the hair! | 0:09:56 | 0:09:59 | |
-ALL: -Yay! | 0:10:00 | 0:10:03 | |
It might have a hair! | 0:10:03 | 0:10:04 | |
'Oh, my friends are like my family.' | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
I actually couldn't do any of it without them. | 0:10:10 | 0:10:13 | |
-When I say team, you say Rose. Team! -Rose! | 0:10:13 | 0:10:16 | |
-Team! -Rose! | 0:10:16 | 0:10:17 | |
-Yes! -Oh, my God... | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
It's just something to remember the whole journey by, I think. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:24 | |
Maybe some people don't... | 0:10:24 | 0:10:25 | |
they don't mean as much to some people as they maybe mean to me, | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
I don't know. I don't even know why they do mean so much to me. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:32 | |
I think they're my confidence. | 0:10:32 | 0:10:34 | |
I think that's what it is. | 0:10:36 | 0:10:38 | |
And they are being taken away. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:39 | |
I'm surprisingly calm, I slept really well last night. | 0:10:49 | 0:10:54 | |
I woke up at 4:20 and then kind of niggled a bit, but... | 0:10:54 | 0:11:00 | |
and then I was asleep when my alarm went off, so... | 0:11:00 | 0:11:03 | |
'Rob is my fiance, we have been together for nine years.' | 0:11:03 | 0:11:07 | |
So this is an ordinary hour for you, Rob, isn't it? | 0:11:07 | 0:11:10 | |
-A lie-in. -Yes! | 0:11:10 | 0:11:14 | |
-How did you meet? -At a Young Farmers ball. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:18 | |
Yeah, I was very drunk and I didn't remember what he looked like. | 0:11:20 | 0:11:24 | |
I only knew it was him on our first date | 0:11:24 | 0:11:26 | |
because he was stood next to his green Jeep Cherokee. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:29 | |
I could've gone on a date with anybody, | 0:11:29 | 0:11:31 | |
as long as they stood next to that car. | 0:11:31 | 0:11:33 | |
I should get some bags. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:36 | |
Aye, I think it's just that one bag. | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
Nightie here? | 0:11:38 | 0:11:41 | |
'We don't really have to talk about it a lot, | 0:11:41 | 0:11:44 | |
'our decisions are made' | 0:11:44 | 0:11:46 | |
and we are doing it and... | 0:11:46 | 0:11:47 | |
..and, hopefully, in a couple of months, | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
it'll be something that we don't have to talk about any more. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:53 | |
I feel naked without my rings on and my necklace on. | 0:11:57 | 0:12:01 | |
In the night, I kept waking up... | 0:12:01 | 0:12:02 | |
..and... No, but I play with my engagement ring all the time, | 0:12:04 | 0:12:07 | |
I just, like, flick it with my thumb and I kept waking up in the night. | 0:12:07 | 0:12:12 | |
I might have to get you to bring them for me. | 0:12:12 | 0:12:15 | |
I think he will genuinely love me forever, | 0:12:15 | 0:12:18 | |
but even I don't know if I am going to like them, | 0:12:18 | 0:12:21 | |
so I can't really expect him to promise that he will like them. | 0:12:21 | 0:12:25 | |
We have seen pictures and we know that we have to be realistic, | 0:12:27 | 0:12:31 | |
but even I don't know whether I will look at them and go, | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
"Yes, I love them, they're amazing." | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
"We are thinking of you all day today, | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
"I know everything will be fine and your new boobs will look amazing. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:48 | |
"I can't wait to see them - pervy, I know." | 0:12:48 | 0:12:50 | |
I've been on dates... | 0:12:50 | 0:12:52 | |
..since I found out, | 0:12:53 | 0:12:55 | |
and I'm like, when do I tell them? | 0:12:55 | 0:12:57 | |
Do I tell them on the first date? | 0:12:57 | 0:13:00 | |
"Nice to meet you, I'm about to have a double mastectomy. | 0:13:00 | 0:13:02 | |
"Are you OK with that?" | 0:13:02 | 0:13:05 | |
I don't know when you... When are you meant to tell someone? | 0:13:05 | 0:13:08 | |
Why the fuck are they all putting it on Facebook? | 0:13:08 | 0:13:12 | |
"Today's the day we start our change..." | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
No, no, stop! Stop! | 0:13:14 | 0:13:17 | |
I don't understand why everyone is putting it on Facebook, | 0:13:17 | 0:13:20 | |
I don't want it on Facebook. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:21 | |
See, this is pissing me off and making me cry. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:26 | |
I don't want it on Facebook. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:29 | |
'I don't think they're as emotional as women.' | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
Women are like, "You are so brave, oh, gosh, it must be so difficult," | 0:13:32 | 0:13:37 | |
like, going really soppy. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
Whereas the men are like, "Right, good luck," or, "How are you?" | 0:13:39 | 0:13:42 | |
They don't go into so much detail with it. | 0:13:42 | 0:13:44 | |
They're quite blase about it. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:47 | |
Which I think can be better sometimes, can't it? | 0:13:47 | 0:13:50 | |
So, how is your dad dealing with it? | 0:13:51 | 0:13:53 | |
I think he supports us. He is a man of few words. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:58 | |
Erm, I think... | 0:13:58 | 0:14:00 | |
I think he probably wishes we didn't have to go through it, but... | 0:14:00 | 0:14:05 | |
And I think he's probably got an element of worry that maybe | 0:14:05 | 0:14:08 | |
makes him shut off a little bit more. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
But he is supportive of both of us going through our surgery | 0:14:11 | 0:14:15 | |
and I think he does believe that it is the right thing to do. | 0:14:15 | 0:14:19 | |
I think if, you know... | 0:14:19 | 0:14:21 | |
He watched Mum go through it and I don't think he wants | 0:14:21 | 0:14:24 | |
to have to see us go through it either. | 0:14:24 | 0:14:26 | |
I need to write this letter to my dad. | 0:14:30 | 0:14:33 | |
What's the purpose of this letter, then? | 0:14:33 | 0:14:34 | |
Why are you giving him this letter? | 0:14:34 | 0:14:36 | |
I want him to know that I love him | 0:14:36 | 0:14:38 | |
more than anything else in the whole wide world. | 0:14:38 | 0:14:40 | |
I've got a thing that he's going to die today. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:46 | |
I'm convinced he's going to die while I'm in theatre. | 0:14:46 | 0:14:49 | |
He needs to look after himself, I need to look after myself, | 0:14:51 | 0:14:53 | |
do you know what I mean? | 0:14:53 | 0:14:54 | |
I just wanted to say hi and that I love you. | 0:14:56 | 0:14:59 | |
OK. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:02 | |
OK, I'll be thinking about you all day. | 0:15:04 | 0:15:06 | |
Right, I'll let you go. | 0:15:09 | 0:15:10 | |
All right, I love you lots. | 0:15:12 | 0:15:13 | |
Bye, love you, bye. | 0:15:15 | 0:15:16 | |
'Bye.' | 0:15:16 | 0:15:17 | |
Poorly, isn't he? | 0:15:19 | 0:15:21 | |
Yeah. | 0:15:23 | 0:15:24 | |
So, how is your dad? | 0:15:29 | 0:15:31 | |
He's not very well, | 0:15:31 | 0:15:33 | |
which is hard. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:34 | |
To watch another parent... | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
have cancer. | 0:15:38 | 0:15:39 | |
PEDESTRIAN CROSSING BEEPS | 0:15:44 | 0:15:47 | |
-Definitely got your phone? -Yeah. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:52 | |
Got plenty of time, it's only quarter to. | 0:15:55 | 0:15:58 | |
Music is my escape. | 0:15:58 | 0:16:01 | |
Like, I always listen to music, don't I? | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
If I've got music, it doesn't matter. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:05 | |
I don't watch TV, really, do I, or anything? | 0:16:05 | 0:16:07 | |
I still don't feel like... | 0:16:07 | 0:16:09 | |
that I'm going to have an operation, do you know what I mean? | 0:16:09 | 0:16:13 | |
Oh, we're going to have to turn it up, | 0:16:13 | 0:16:15 | |
because there'll be some, like, some screeching sounds. | 0:16:15 | 0:16:17 | |
I believe that everything happens for a reason and I found my reason. | 0:16:17 | 0:16:22 | |
The reason is that, for me, | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
I don't have to do what Mum did. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:27 | |
I've got a chance to stop that from happening. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:30 | |
That's my reason. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:32 | |
# Are you thinking about you or us? | 0:16:32 | 0:16:36 | |
# BABY... | 0:16:36 | 0:16:44 | |
# NO, NO, NO, NO! | 0:16:44 | 0:16:47 | |
# Look back before you leave my life | 0:16:47 | 0:16:51 | |
# Don't leave my life... # | 0:16:51 | 0:16:54 | |
They're always like, "Oh, you're so brave, are you not scared?" | 0:16:54 | 0:16:56 | |
Do you want me to be scared? Cos I'm not. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:59 | |
Like, am I supposed to be scared? | 0:16:59 | 0:17:02 | |
I don't feel scared. I feel liberated. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:06 | |
-Are you are OK? -I'm OK. I need a piss. -OK. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:09 | |
There's been very few times | 0:17:13 | 0:17:14 | |
where I've wobbled, where I have felt upset, | 0:17:14 | 0:17:17 | |
it's all been focusing on the long game, which is to get through | 0:17:17 | 0:17:22 | |
the surgery but then to hopefully be | 0:17:22 | 0:17:25 | |
on the other side of it with a reduced risk of cancer. | 0:17:25 | 0:17:28 | |
Oh, mate, I feel sick. | 0:17:28 | 0:17:30 | |
Don't feel sick, we'll be fine. | 0:17:30 | 0:17:32 | |
Once I've done all my bits, it's just literally waiting to go down. | 0:17:32 | 0:17:35 | |
-I see that you've got some reading material with you. -Yeah. | 0:17:35 | 0:17:39 | |
And can you confirm your full name and date of birth? | 0:17:39 | 0:17:41 | |
Rose Marie Turpie, and it's 19th of March, 1989. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:45 | |
You all right? | 0:17:58 | 0:18:00 | |
Yeah. Just getting ready to take my breasts out, yet again! | 0:18:00 | 0:18:04 | |
So, we are taking your nipples and doing immediate reconstruction | 0:18:04 | 0:18:08 | |
-to your nipples, aren't we? -Yeah. -All right. | 0:18:08 | 0:18:11 | |
-So, all that is at the moment is a little bit of laughing gas, OK? -OK. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:36 | |
So you just breathe normally. | 0:18:36 | 0:18:38 | |
You're doing really well. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:40 | |
'This is nothing, in comparison to owt else. | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
'The worst-case scenario' | 0:18:48 | 0:18:49 | |
is that I end up like my mum. | 0:18:49 | 0:18:51 | |
We got picked up from school | 0:19:04 | 0:19:06 | |
and we went to my gran's friends | 0:19:06 | 0:19:08 | |
and then Dad picked us up and took us to the hospice, | 0:19:08 | 0:19:11 | |
and we ate triangular sandwiches and played in the playroom, | 0:19:11 | 0:19:14 | |
and we said goodbye to her and my Uncle Paul took us home | 0:19:14 | 0:19:18 | |
and bought us a big bag of prawn crackers from the Chinese. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:22 | |
So, we have got one patient on this afternoon, | 0:19:23 | 0:19:26 | |
Rose Turpie, who is a BRCA2 carrier, | 0:19:26 | 0:19:28 | |
so she's having risk-reducing mastectomies, | 0:19:28 | 0:19:31 | |
skin sparing, immediate reconstructions using implants, | 0:19:31 | 0:19:34 | |
stratis and nipple reconstructions at the same time, | 0:19:34 | 0:19:38 | |
using local fats and full thickness skin grafts. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:40 | |
So, this is all the breast tissue, you can see it is relatively big, | 0:19:42 | 0:19:47 | |
it gets a bit more when you go out towards the armpit, | 0:19:47 | 0:19:50 | |
and that is the nipple, | 0:19:50 | 0:19:52 | |
and we're just going to mark this and send it off to the lab. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:55 | |
When we woke up in the morning, | 0:19:57 | 0:20:00 | |
Dad came and said... | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
that she'd passed away. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:04 | |
And it's only upsetting now because I'm an adult. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:10 | |
When he told us, we got up and we went to school. | 0:20:11 | 0:20:15 | |
And it's only now I'm 27 that I realise what that meant. | 0:20:17 | 0:20:22 | |
Then... | 0:20:22 | 0:20:23 | |
Then, I don't think I realised. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:28 | |
I think when I was ten, you know, | 0:20:32 | 0:20:35 | |
it was rubbish not having a mum, | 0:20:35 | 0:20:36 | |
but I only remember the day she died and her funeral | 0:20:36 | 0:20:39 | |
and I don't remember anything else. | 0:20:39 | 0:20:41 | |
Now, | 0:20:41 | 0:20:42 | |
now I know that she didn't see me qualify and she didn't meet Rob. | 0:20:42 | 0:20:47 | |
And that she won't be at my wedding. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:49 | |
She always said, "Don't forget me, | 0:20:56 | 0:20:57 | |
"don't forget about me." | 0:20:57 | 0:20:59 | |
And then she died on Remembrance Day. | 0:20:59 | 0:21:01 | |
Which is, like, quite sweet, that's quite special. | 0:21:01 | 0:21:05 | |
How are you doing? | 0:21:15 | 0:21:17 | |
That's mental. They feel incredible. | 0:21:20 | 0:21:23 | |
-Are they small? -No! | 0:21:23 | 0:21:25 | |
For everyone else, they were like, | 0:21:26 | 0:21:28 | |
"Oh, God, they look great. Oh, they look really big." | 0:21:28 | 0:21:30 | |
When I woke up, I was like, "They are tiny." | 0:21:30 | 0:21:32 | |
One isn't quite right. | 0:21:32 | 0:21:34 | |
I don't like looking in the mirror at them. | 0:21:34 | 0:21:37 | |
Because it takes a while to put them on, doesn't it? | 0:21:37 | 0:21:40 | |
Quite funny, actually, I saw my friend's dad, | 0:21:40 | 0:21:43 | |
I saw him in Morrisons afterwards and he came up to me, | 0:21:43 | 0:21:45 | |
he was like, "Can I hug you?" I was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
And he went, "How did it go?" I said, "Really well." | 0:21:48 | 0:21:50 | |
And he's like, "When are you having the reconstruction?" | 0:21:50 | 0:21:53 | |
I was like, "Look down! | 0:21:53 | 0:21:55 | |
"Look at them. You've always looked at them, look down!" | 0:21:55 | 0:21:59 | |
I said, "I've already had it." | 0:21:59 | 0:22:00 | |
"Oh, oh, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes." | 0:22:00 | 0:22:03 | |
So, I had my op yesterday. | 0:22:03 | 0:22:05 | |
Still feeling a bit sore and a bit tender across my chest. | 0:22:05 | 0:22:09 | |
Struggled initially with the pain relief | 0:22:09 | 0:22:11 | |
because it was making me feel sick. | 0:22:11 | 0:22:13 | |
I was a bit emotional yesterday because there's no dressings | 0:22:13 | 0:22:17 | |
underneath my nightie, so when I look down, | 0:22:17 | 0:22:19 | |
I can see my surgical sites. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:21 | |
And I knew I was going to be flat-chested, | 0:22:21 | 0:22:24 | |
but seeing it in reality | 0:22:24 | 0:22:25 | |
was more difficult than I thought it would be. | 0:22:25 | 0:22:29 | |
In my head, I looked awful. | 0:22:29 | 0:22:31 | |
Now, I will show people my wounds, I'm proud of them, | 0:22:31 | 0:22:35 | |
they've healed well, but it probably took a good week of Rob showing me | 0:22:35 | 0:22:40 | |
lots of TLC to get to the point where I felt they were OK. | 0:22:40 | 0:22:45 | |
We had our surgery and maybe it would have been different | 0:22:48 | 0:22:51 | |
if we hadn't have had to deal with Dad but, for me, | 0:22:51 | 0:22:53 | |
it kind of reaffirmed that | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
-going through the surgery was the right thing. -Yeah. | 0:22:55 | 0:22:59 | |
Definitely. | 0:23:00 | 0:23:02 | |
"How can I tell my heart that you have gone away? | 0:23:06 | 0:23:08 | |
"I want to make things right, but I don't know what to say. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:12 | |
"I'm lonely and I'm sad and I cannot believe you've gone. | 0:23:12 | 0:23:15 | |
"Others tell me to get over it, they say I must move on. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:18 | |
"They don't know how I feel and they would not know where to start. | 0:23:18 | 0:23:21 | |
"One minute I was happy and then my world was ripped apart." | 0:23:21 | 0:23:24 | |
I'd do it again. | 0:23:27 | 0:23:28 | |
I think that's my thing now, like, | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
every funeral now that we're going that's a family one, | 0:23:30 | 0:23:32 | |
I think I'm going to have to do a poem. | 0:23:32 | 0:23:34 | |
I think I've started a thing. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:36 | |
A thing! Let's not rush into the next one. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:39 | |
No. | 0:23:39 | 0:23:40 | |
'30th May, I found out he had cancer. | 0:23:41 | 0:23:44 | |
'He died on the 30th September.' | 0:23:44 | 0:23:46 | |
That's not a long time. | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
"It is my right to mourn and learn to deal with grief. | 0:23:53 | 0:23:56 | |
"It's not what you see on the outside, | 0:23:56 | 0:23:58 | |
"but the way I feel underneath." | 0:23:58 | 0:24:00 | |
Right, girls. | 0:24:08 | 0:24:10 | |
Your mum wanted nighties to be saved. | 0:24:10 | 0:24:15 | |
She thought that because you were only seeing her in hospital, | 0:24:15 | 0:24:20 | |
you would only recognise her in nighties. | 0:24:20 | 0:24:22 | |
So, why are you giving the girls these things now, Jean? | 0:24:25 | 0:24:28 | |
I have had them since Sally died. | 0:24:28 | 0:24:31 | |
She wanted them to have them | 0:24:31 | 0:24:34 | |
and I did tell them about two years ago | 0:24:34 | 0:24:36 | |
and they didn't want to know, | 0:24:36 | 0:24:38 | |
but because they've been going through something | 0:24:38 | 0:24:40 | |
different themselves, they are now wanting to receive them. | 0:24:40 | 0:24:45 | |
-What's that? -Oh, I think it's Mum's hair. | 0:24:53 | 0:24:54 | |
It's your mum's hair. | 0:24:54 | 0:24:56 | |
-Oh. -And the thing is, darling, this is... | 0:24:56 | 0:24:59 | |
Her writing was beautiful. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:01 | |
But this is October 20th | 0:25:01 | 0:25:05 | |
and she died on November 11th, | 0:25:05 | 0:25:07 | |
and she was still trying to write beautifully. | 0:25:07 | 0:25:11 | |
My husband died two years before Sally, | 0:25:15 | 0:25:19 | |
so we've had quite a package at one time or another, | 0:25:19 | 0:25:22 | |
and this is why this operation is fantastic for them. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:26 | |
You're the survivors, aren't you, sat here in this room? | 0:25:28 | 0:25:31 | |
'Like I say to Char when she gets sad, like, the sad bit's done. | 0:25:45 | 0:25:50 | |
'The hard bit's done, like, now... | 0:25:50 | 0:25:53 | |
'you've got to make a happy future. | 0:25:53 | 0:25:55 | |
'You have to take the positives out of it.' | 0:25:55 | 0:25:59 | |
And there are so many positives, | 0:25:59 | 0:26:01 | |
as opposed to just not liking your body | 0:26:01 | 0:26:04 | |
or your body not looking normal or how it should. | 0:26:04 | 0:26:07 | |
That doesn't matter if you live longer, does it? | 0:26:07 | 0:26:09 | |
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! | 0:26:45 | 0:26:49 | |
That's what you were asking... | 0:26:49 | 0:26:51 | |
I don't know if I can have them this big. | 0:26:51 | 0:26:54 | |
This is like where I was when I was four! | 0:26:54 | 0:26:57 |