Growing Up with Cancer

Every day in the UK, seven teenagers find out they have cancer.

Here, in the Royal Hospital For Children in Glasgow,

the Teenage Cancer Trust have set up a specially designed teen-only unit.

This is where we hang out.

It's more like a youth club than a hospital.

It's a great place to hang out,

we can relate to each other and we know each other's stories,

so we chill and meet other teenagers who have cancer

who understand what it's like.

The unit brings together young people from all over Scotland

who are dealing with cancer, so they don't have to face it alone.

Agh!

See when somebody says to you the word "cancer",

you just go blank.

It started sinking in when my hair started falling out.

That's when it properly, properly sunk in.

My name's Natasha,

I'm aged 15, I have Hodgkin's lymphoma,

which is a type of blood cancer

and I would have loved to have studied law.

Natasha comes to the teenage cancer unit from home

up to five times a week.

Her chemotherapy sessions can last all day.

MUSIC: Bad Medicine by Bon Jovi

# I ain't got a fever...

# To prescribe a remedy

# I got lots of money but it isn't... #

This is MY bad medicine.

For me, it, like, symbolises this right now,

so it's like, the aim song,

to get rid of bad medicine.

What gets me through is just positive thinking.

People don't want to deal with it at the beginning, obviously.

It's hard to deal with something like this at the very beginning

when you get told, but when you get into it,

there's nothing else you can do,

you've got it, deal with it and that is it.

# Bad

# Medicine is what I need. #

I'm feeling like crap.

Absolute crap.

My hormones are all over the place.

Slight things get me so happy, upset,

it's like my emotions are running all over the place.

..when people say cancer patients are upset, and that are dying...

They're not.

And we're not.

The teenage cancer unit has four single rooms.

Some patients stay in the hospital for months at a time.

Hi, I'm Declan, I'm 14,

I have acute lymphoblastic leukaemia

and I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

I started my treatment almost two years ago and I was doing fine,

I was on a maintenance part of treatment.

And then I relapsed.

They took me for a bone marrow

and they found out the chemo hadn't worked,

which was horrible news.

Cos I was just transitioning from child to teenager.

So I had to grow up pretty fast.

Lucky again.

My role in the hospital is to support the teenagers,

and on a daily basis I try and put on activities and opportunities

to relieve boredom and to maintain a sense of normality.

And ultimately,

I'm trying to get the teenagers together in this room to socialise,

to support each other.

Just reduces, really, some of their isolation and their boredom, really.

I wouldn't say it feels any different

to hanging out with regular friends,

except for the drips going off every five minutes and stuff, but, no,

apart from that, it's really not any different.

Declan has an aggressive form of cancer.

A stem-cell transplant is his only chance of a cure,

but it's high-risk.

Before he gets the transplant, his immune system has to be wiped out,

which means the smallest infection could be life-threatening.

So he's about to be moved into a strict isolation room

for his protection.

I'm fed up being stuck in a hospital,

I just want a normal life again.

-Robert?

-What?

What century are you putting me into strict?

This one, please.

I'm fed up waiting.

-Are you wanting to go the now?

-Aye.

Right, sorted. Let's go, Champ.

Right, wave bye to everyone.

-Bye, world.

-Bye, everyone.

See you next century.

Bye.

Stand in here.

You wanting to come in, Dad?

So the fastest anyone's done it is three weeks?

Mm. You don't know that yet. You want to beat that record, aye?

LAUGHTER

Right. That's us done, dude. Knuckle bump.

-You ready?

-Aye.

Even for an adult, being stuck within those four walls

for eight weeks would be mind-numbingly boring,

but for a teenager who is so used to being out,

and buzzing around with their friends and having fun,

it can be so isolating.

It's heartbreaking to see.

Only Declan's parents are allowed into the isolation room

while he goes through the intensive treatment.

How are you feeling today, wee man?

Dr Nick Heaney specialises

in working with young people with cancer.

About to go and see a boy, Nairn,

and he came into us about a week ago

and he's had some tests done

and we've got the results of those tests.

I think for any patient coming into a ward where there's clearly

been children being treated for cancer,

there's children wheeling around their drips and they've got no hair,

I think that gives a lot of warning to the parents

and to the patient that there's something seriously wrong,

and often what they're really worried about is,

are you going to tell me there's nothing you can do,

that my child's going to die?

Started getting unwell around January time.

Just thought it was a chest infection, just...

nothing much of it.

And throughout then started to get a bit sicker,

coughing and stuff like that, and it was really bringing my mood down.

I lost a lot of energy

and just felt horrible.

I was going straight home to my bed,

I was crying a lot and it was just...

I had...

The emotions were just building up in me so much,

I didn't know what to think.

We're hoping it's not actually anything bad at all.

Hello. Hi there, thanks for all coming together.

So, we've got the diagnosis back,

and it is lymphoma.

There's different sorts of lymphoma.

-Yeah.

-There's something called Hodgkin's lymphoma,

which is more common in your age, and that's what you've got,

and the pathology team have processed the sample,

and they are 100% confident that that is the diagnosis.

Will that, like, affect my school?

Well, your school's been pretty affected at the moment, hasn't it,

because you've been in hospital for the last week or so.

Cos I have exams starting next year.

Yeah. The hope is, once we've got you started on your treatment,

the rest of the treatment we plan to deliver with you as an outpatient -

in other words, you're at home, you sleep in your own bed,

and then on particular days you're coming up to hospital

to either have a blood check or receive some treatment,

and then getting home again.

Definitely taking biology this year.

It was a big help, because right now I'm at a stage

where I can actually understand what's going on with this,

and it is a big help.

It's good that you have got a good understanding

of what we are doing and why we're doing it,

you know, to get you better.

Because there will be days where you feel OK,

but there's going to be days when you feel pretty rotten,

pretty rubbish.

But if you understand this medicine's making me feel like this,

which is terrible, but actually you understand why you are

taking that medicine, it will help you deal with those days

-that aren't quite as good as other days.

-Obviously, like,

there's other kids here going through just as worse things as me

or different things, but the same side effects,

just knowing that I'm not the only one with it

is also a good thing.

When you actually hear it and you hear the word "lymphoma"

or hear the word "cancer", it must be pretty devastating.

Then when he begins to then appreciate the knock-on effects

it's going to have on school

and the other things that are important to him.

But he seemed to be remarkably positive

and I think that's going to hold him in good stead

as he gets through his treatment.

I don't want my mum and dad to be worried and that.

I wouldn't want anyone else to be.

Smiles on my face just helps THEM cope with it a bit better, I feel.

And as long as, like, obviously being a teenager,

you're going to get grumpy and that, sometimes,

so I've tried to maintain...

a good behaviour with them and it has kind of worked,

but...it's difficult.

I must say, like, sometimes I want to just be a bit grumpy or whatever,

but I need to keep that smile on

because I know it's helping them through it,

so...

Turns out I was allowed home...

..12 days in, 13 days in,

and they could give me most of my meds at home.

Actually not lost my hair yet.

So, I'm actually quite relieved about that,

but, you know, to be fair, worse things are going to happen,

so that's the last of my problems

and I know I can pull off hats, so...

I don't like that feeling of, "Aw, I'm so sorry,"

it really brings down the mood.

I'd just rather everyone just act as like normal

and even if I don't have my hair

and even if my face is, like, ten times chubbier,

I'm hoping just to be treated...

..exactly the same as I was before, in a way.

Tough, tiring...

..and simply quite boring.

I just wish I could wake up and it was just a dream,

but it's not, and I have to deal with it.

It is so confusing because I miss, like, the old self.

I look at myself and I feel,

I don't know, fuller, with hair.

Before I thought, "I'm never going to walk out bald,

"I'll always have my wigs on, every time I walk out the house."

But now I don't care if people are looking at me

because it's not their life.

I can't always wear a wig every time I'm with somebody.

It hurts my ears sometimes! It gives me a sore head.

It's boiling.

Sometimes these heads creep me out.

That one has eyelashes and everything.

This one's just...

quite creepy when you look at it at night.

Yeah, I have cancer and I'm going through chemo and...

But my name isn't cancer and I'm not going to go through chemo

my whole life, so why should I revolve my whole life around

what's happening in these six months? I'm not going to.

After seven weeks in isolation,

Declan's stem-cell transplant is working,

and he's back in the teenage ward.

Going home.

It's what got me through it -

the thought of going home and being normal again.

Hi, Declan.

All the punishing treatments have taken their toll,

leaving him with no appetite and a low mood.

Aw!

-HE CHUCKLES

-Hard luck!

Do you want another game or...?

-Nah.

-You all right?

I need a seat.

It's difficult to smile now.

I think I've been in hospital too long.

Getting a bit depressed.

By no means a bad place.

Everything's brilliant here, but it's no' home.

It's no' home.

Well, it's sad because we had to do this for him,

and even though things are going well,

he's still not back to his usual self,

but I have hopes that this will happen.

It's just going to take a little longer.

But it's very important also

to assess what's happening with his mind.

Well, maybe we can give the psychiatrist a call.

Would you like to talk to them?

I don't really do talking, to be honest.

-OK.

-I don't think it's helping at all.

Hi, it's Nairn again.

I've not been on for the past few days cos I've been unwell.

Basically, my skin broke out

and it was really bad,

and then I started getting dry lips

and cuts ended up appearing at the sides, which was so sore.

Then, after, like, that had happened,

I'd been getting really bad headaches

and my jaw had started getting really sore.

So I ended up getting tonnes of new meds

because it turns out these are all side effects.

It's even worse because, um, my hair's started to fall out.

It was only last week, I just re-shaved my head

and you can still feel them.

That's well weird!

Natasha and Nairn have the same type of cancer,

but Natasha is three months ahead of him.

-Is your eyes sore?

-Kinda.

My mouth's been the worst part.

Ulcers?

Ulcers, a bit of thrush as well.

-It's like fungal disease.

-Mm-hm.

It's so boring.

I went out with my pals.

-Did you?

-Which was good.

Does it feel like they treat you differently?

Well, not really.

More the parents,

because then, like, usually your pal's parents

-don't really talk to you.

-Yeah, exactly!

I thought my friend's dad didn't like me that much,

and then he's sitting talking to me about the golf.

I'm like, "All right, OK."

Because he's taking more interest in you because of all this.

It's weird, isn't it?

Weird, people noticing you more.

What are you going to do, like, with your hair?

I don't know, actually.

Cos I love my hair.

I love doing it in the morning and stuff.

It takes me just as long as a girl, probably.

I know a boy who used to be like that.

I use, like, hair spray and mousse and stuff.

My hair was my everything.

So that was, like, a couple of days after I got told,

-and I went all blonde.

-That's so nice.

See now, I miss it, right?

But see because I've basically because I've got temporary hair,

it doesn't bother me any more.

I prefer it. Like, see being bald and obviously when your hair

can't grow back in cos of your chemo, embrace it.

It is genuinely, like, it's so good.

Just need to get used to it. I don't want, like, patches and stuff

on my head. It's something no-one should experience, really.

But I think it will be sad at the start,

but then I think I'll try and embrace it as much as I can.

Throughout the week, my hair's falling out.

I'm quite scared of other people judging me.

Like, I think if I wasn't so scared of that fact

I would actually be fine with it.

You don't see yourself the same way.

Like, when I looked in the mirror, I just...

Let's say, I thought I was uglier.

Your turn, Mickey.

What am I?

As much as I enjoy hanging out with the teenagers,

the real benefit is for them to, you know, socialise together.

See!

I might just get them together and then I'll just disappear

because a lot of times they don't even realise

they're opening up to each other,

they just have normal chitchat and stuff comes out.

-Hi, Conor.

-All right?

19-year-old Conor has relapsed acute lymphoblastic leukaemia.

-I'm Conor.

-I'm Dean.

I'm from two seconds away, literally.

Conor is back in the teenage ward

in the run-up to getting his stem-cell transplant.

Can you get out Pentonville for Conor?

-What colour's that?

-Blue.

No, it's the light blue.

-Yeah.

-How fast did the transplant go?

-Was it all good?

-It was pretty fast.

Four weeks in the isolation,

and then about two or three weeks after,

but everything was fine, like.

-Yeah.

-However, word of advice, do not let your mouth get dry.

Drink constantly,

because I let my mouth get dry and now look at the state of it,

because the radiotherapy destroys the inside of your mouth.

15-year-old Nikki is a few steps ahead of Conor

and has started radiation treatment.

I was scared when I first went in. I was literally tearing up,

and I was like sitting in there, like, Do you want your mum?"

I was like, "Yeah."

When you get started on Cyclosporine, you get a moustache.

Yeah, I can slightly see it.

And your eyebrows go quite dark.

I still can't believe I'm getting a moustache,

it's actually quite scary!

You're growing into a man, mate!

Yay!

But I'm cheating, I've got drugs helping me!

It's very hard as a teenager,

especially a girl, cos we've got, like, hormones...

..and teenager stuff that teenagers go through.

Most young people aren't thinking about having children,

but the teenagers here have to think ahead.

Both the chemotherapy and radiotherapy can affect

the ability of that teenager to have children in the future.

It depends on the type of chemotherapy they receive

and where that radiotherapy's given, so it's different for each teenager.

I got some of my eggs taken and frozen,

so if I do want a baby, I'll just have to go to the hospital

and, like, say,

"Right, I was here when I was 14 and can I get my eggs back?

"I want to have a baby, and all that."

So, they're protecting what I want later on in life.

After two rounds of chemotherapy,

Natasha's come in for tests to see if the treatment's working.

You tell me if it's uncomfortable, and I'll not put so much pressure.

I feel like such a kid!

Oh!

Dr Heaney has the results.

So, shall we take you back to the beginning,

OK, when you first came to us, you had swollen glands in your neck.

OK? And you can see here, they weren't just swollen,

they were quite hot. That yellow colour is they're hot

and they're active.

That's the sort of thing we see with Hodgkin's lymphoma,

-they're quite active.

-Yeah.

-And you had, your arm,

you knew about that, because you could feel them there

and you had them in the chest here,

which you couldn't feel but we could see.

And that is what we saw at the beginning.

So what we wanted to see were those getting smaller

and then this one now is the scan currently.

Yes. So you've lost all that heat there, OK?

And you've lost this kind of swelling.

So you've actually had a very good response,

so the Hodgkin's lymphoma is not active like it was

right at the beginning, so the chemotherapy's doing its job.

That's really good news.

Can you get a better result at this stage?

No, you can't, really. That scan tells us and tells you

that you're in remission at this stage.

OK? So, I mean,

did you have kind of good feelings or bad feelings about the scan?

Well, I had good feelings, but I wasn't getting my hopes too high.

That's fantastic news, because what this means

is that the chemotherapy alone should be a cure for her

and we don't need to deliver radiotherapy.

Also, that means that her treatment overall will be shorter

and she doesn't have to worry about the side effects of radiotherapy

that she could get at the time, or that might affect her in the future.

See now, I would never take health for granted.

When I get married or have kids,

that will be my main priority through everything in life,

is health.

Because anything can happen at any point.

I just focus on my health and my education now.

That is it.

That will be it.

# We're a thousand miles from comfort... #

I've finished my two sets of chemo and I have four left,

so, it's exciting because more's out the way.

Natasha was really, like, supportive and I think it was really helpful

talking to her about what kind of symptoms she had

whilst she was going through some of her treatment the same time as me.

I think she made me help embrace

what was wrong with me a bit more comfortably.

So I think I'm just going to continue life as it was before

and I'm hoping that everyone else can do the same.

Declan's mood is improving, but he's been struggling with his appetite.

He knows that to get home, he has to eat.

I asked him. I said, "What do you want to eat?"

Because we're all desperate for him to eat and get good nutrition.

He said, "I suppose the things that I want to eat

"are the things I'm not allowed to eat, like takeaways."

So they've compromised

and he's allowed to have, like, McDonald's chips.

-They were brilliant.

-Yeah?

Yes.

I'm stuffed.

For once, I'm finally stuffed!

Oh, man!

After eight months on the teenage cancer ward, intense chemo,

total body irradiation and a stem-cell transplant,

Declan can now go home.

Oh, it's a relief!

That's for sure, because he's been in for such a long time.

And he was up for all of the possible complications

that we could have,

because he had a really difficult disease to treat.

I'm finally getting out of here.

I'm cured.

For the most part. Yes, it can always come back,

but I've had the transplant and everything, so...

..if it comes back, it comes back.

I don't have words to describe it.

I'm that happy.

I can't think of anything to describe it.

I've been waiting for this for so long.

And now it's happening.

# I can't wait to go home

# And I'm on my way

# I still remember these old country lanes

# When we did not know the answers

# And I miss the way you make me feel

# It's real

# We watched the sunset over the castle on the hill. #