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This programme contains some strong language | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
It's a little bit like that line from Al Pacino in The Godfather, | 0:00:12 | 0:00:16 | |
just when you think you're out, you're sucked right back in. | 0:00:16 | 0:00:20 | |
In the summer of 2015, | 0:00:20 | 0:00:21 | |
20 years after first being diagnosed with cancer, | 0:00:21 | 0:00:25 | |
Mike Peters of the Welsh rock band The Alarm | 0:00:25 | 0:00:28 | |
took an ominous turn for the worse. | 0:00:28 | 0:00:30 | |
It's the 23rd of June. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
Went for my regular checkup with Dr Edwards and I just wasn't expecting | 0:00:32 | 0:00:37 | |
-what had happened. -The chemotherapy that had managed Mike's leukaemia | 0:00:37 | 0:00:41 | |
for so long stopped working, | 0:00:41 | 0:00:43 | |
and doctors at Ysbyty Gwynedd in Bangor were running out of options. | 0:00:43 | 0:00:47 | |
Dr Edwards said to me, | 0:00:47 | 0:00:49 | |
"OK, Mike, the thing is, I haven't got an answer for you today. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:53 | |
"I need some time to think." | 0:00:53 | 0:00:55 | |
He was standing on the edge of a cliff, | 0:00:57 | 0:00:59 | |
and another little nudge could have been just one step too far. | 0:00:59 | 0:01:03 | |
He came out of that hospital and he hit the floor in a way | 0:01:04 | 0:01:08 | |
that I've never seen before. | 0:01:08 | 0:01:09 | |
He doesn't like not having a plan. He likes to be in control. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:14 | |
Just kind of scary. It's like being back in the dark again. | 0:01:14 | 0:01:18 | |
Into the unknown. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:19 | |
Another journey we've got to make together for me and Jules. | 0:01:19 | 0:01:23 | |
I went to London to the Chelsea Westminster, | 0:01:24 | 0:01:27 | |
and the specialist there said to me, | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
"If you want to see your kids in two years, | 0:01:29 | 0:01:31 | |
"you need to come and have a transplant here. | 0:01:31 | 0:01:32 | |
"Don't mess about in North Wales." | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
And it really scared the life out of me. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:37 | |
But I came home to talk about it with Dr Edwards, and he said, | 0:01:37 | 0:01:39 | |
"That's one theory, but he's not looking at your children, | 0:01:39 | 0:01:43 | |
"he's not looking at your music, he doesn't go to see you play live, | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
"doesn't know you. I do." | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
And I said, "I trust you. Let's do it." | 0:01:49 | 0:01:53 | |
Dr Edwards fought to put Mike on an experimental drug trial. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:57 | |
The hope is that a new revolutionary chemotherapy regime | 0:01:57 | 0:02:01 | |
will keep Mike's leukaemia under control. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:04 | |
Life just seems to bring everything to a point, | 0:02:04 | 0:02:07 | |
and now I'm looking to recover from the cancer, to get into remission, | 0:02:07 | 0:02:13 | |
and I'm also looking to | 0:02:13 | 0:02:15 | |
reaffirm what The Alarm and our music has stood for. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:20 | |
This is the busiest and most remarkable year in | 0:02:20 | 0:02:23 | |
the life of Mike and Jules Peters. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
We have been through so much, and we've survived so much. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:31 | |
But you keep thinking, | 0:02:31 | 0:02:33 | |
there's a little nagging thought of my head thinking, | 0:02:33 | 0:02:35 | |
"But is one of these things going to come along | 0:02:35 | 0:02:38 | |
"that I can't find a way out of? | 0:02:38 | 0:02:42 | |
"Is there going to be something that's coming now | 0:02:42 | 0:02:46 | |
"that is going to change everything?" | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
One, two, three, four! | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
Mike Peters formed The Alarm in Rhyl in 1981 | 0:03:03 | 0:03:06 | |
and they quickly exploded onto the British music scene. | 0:03:06 | 0:03:09 | |
The Alarm's live performance with Mike at the centre of it | 0:03:09 | 0:03:11 | |
had such an energy to it. It was U2 | 0:03:11 | 0:03:13 | |
and The Alarm that stood out for the extraordinary | 0:03:13 | 0:03:16 | |
live energy they brought to their performance. | 0:03:16 | 0:03:18 | |
They looked like buskers, but cool. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:23 | |
They were of the street, and we were really just pretending. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:28 | |
An extensive tour of America in support of U2 quickly followed, | 0:03:28 | 0:03:32 | |
and The Alarm found success on both sides of the Atlantic. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:35 | |
We were on an adventure. We were in our early 20s. | 0:03:35 | 0:03:39 | |
Yeah, we began a friendship, | 0:03:39 | 0:03:41 | |
the sort of friendship you get when you stay in shite hotels. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:44 | |
We were playing these massive audiences | 0:03:44 | 0:03:46 | |
and these journalists were going, | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
"Who are they?" And it was while we were in America, | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
in the middle of the night, we get a call to say, | 0:03:50 | 0:03:53 | |
"You've got to fly back to do Top Of The Pops." | 0:03:53 | 0:03:56 | |
# Sixty eight guns will never die | 0:04:00 | 0:04:03 | |
# Sixty eight guns, our battle cry... # | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
And when I get off the plane and spoke to the first journalist | 0:04:06 | 0:04:09 | |
and I opened my mouth to talk, they said, "You don't sound American." | 0:04:09 | 0:04:12 | |
I went, "What do you mean? He said, | 0:04:12 | 0:04:13 | |
"Well, you're an American band, aren't you?" | 0:04:13 | 0:04:15 | |
I said, "No, we're from Rhyl, North Wales." | 0:04:15 | 0:04:18 | |
The Alarm and Mike Peters went on to play | 0:04:18 | 0:04:21 | |
sell-out concerts across the globe and sell millions of records | 0:04:21 | 0:04:24 | |
worldwide in a career spanning over 30 years. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:27 | |
TUNING UP GUITAR | 0:04:38 | 0:04:40 | |
I'm writing Time at the moment. | 0:04:46 | 0:04:48 | |
It's a song which came to me around the piano at home. | 0:04:48 | 0:04:53 | |
It's quite a reflective song, really. | 0:04:53 | 0:04:55 | |
Check, one, two. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:56 | |
I think I've come to a point in life | 0:04:56 | 0:04:58 | |
where you want to make the most of everything I've enjoyed | 0:04:58 | 0:05:02 | |
and everything I've got more so than I've ever felt before. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:06 | |
Cancer makes you aware of life and what you could lose. | 0:05:06 | 0:05:09 | |
Make the best of time. | 0:05:11 | 0:05:13 | |
That's really what it's saying. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:15 | |
Time, you can't take it with you. | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
Time, it's all we've got. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:19 | |
It's the most valuable commodity we have as humanity. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:25 | |
# This is your life | 0:05:25 | 0:05:28 | |
# These are your days | 0:05:29 | 0:05:32 | |
# So take them and run while you can | 0:05:34 | 0:05:41 | |
# While you've still got time. # | 0:05:41 | 0:05:44 | |
Time has always been a big part of what I do | 0:05:45 | 0:05:49 | |
through association with a band named after a time instrument. | 0:05:49 | 0:05:55 | |
So I think, when you're young, | 0:05:55 | 0:05:58 | |
you feel like you've got the whole of time ahead of you | 0:05:58 | 0:06:01 | |
and you've got plenty of time to follow your dreams, | 0:06:01 | 0:06:05 | |
to tear things down if you have to - | 0:06:05 | 0:06:07 | |
there's plenty of time to rebuild. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:10 | |
And I've done a lot of that in my life. | 0:06:10 | 0:06:12 | |
But now, I feel I'm at a time where I want to consolidate everything | 0:06:12 | 0:06:16 | |
and I want to spend time with those that are dearest to me | 0:06:16 | 0:06:20 | |
and make the most of what is left | 0:06:20 | 0:06:24 | |
because I'm 57 now, and... | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
..it can't go on forever, unfortunately. | 0:06:28 | 0:06:30 | |
You don't really feel ill from cancer, | 0:06:54 | 0:06:57 | |
you feel ill from the treatments. | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
It is a bit of a dichotomy to get your head around. | 0:06:59 | 0:07:03 | |
And these are the only times when I actually feel ill. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:06 | |
You can feel the effects of it, it slows you down, | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
things start to get a bit slow motion. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:13 | |
But, you know, ultimately, it is keeping you alive, as well. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:17 | |
I was 29 when Mike was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:21 | |
It was probably the most terrifying moment of my life. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:25 | |
I remember him phoning me from New York | 0:07:28 | 0:07:31 | |
and saying that he'd discovered a lump in his neck. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:33 | |
And he came home and we went into our local hospital | 0:07:33 | 0:07:37 | |
as you do, together, | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
and I sat down and just could see the doctor opposite us | 0:07:39 | 0:07:43 | |
with a little leaflet that said, "Living With Cancer." | 0:07:43 | 0:07:47 | |
We had no preparation for it whatsoever. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:52 | |
And it was 20 years ago, so it was a bit of a death sentence. | 0:07:52 | 0:07:56 | |
We had an American tour booked a few days later. | 0:07:57 | 0:08:01 | |
And his doctors wanted him to go | 0:08:01 | 0:08:03 | |
and look at having a bone marrow transplant. And Mike just said, | 0:08:03 | 0:08:06 | |
"No, I don't feel that that's the right decision. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:10 | |
"I feel like I should not cancel anything, go to America, | 0:08:10 | 0:08:15 | |
"get my head together and then review the situation." | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
It caused a massive argument. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:25 | |
I think part of it was I was scared, | 0:08:25 | 0:08:27 | |
so I wanted to sort of run away from it, | 0:08:27 | 0:08:29 | |
but I was listening to my instinct. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:30 | |
My instinct said, "Go on tour." | 0:08:30 | 0:08:33 | |
To be fair, Jules, it was really upsetting for her. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:36 | |
Frightening. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:37 | |
I had spoken to this faith healer | 0:08:37 | 0:08:39 | |
and he said green was a healing colour for me. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:42 | |
So in my mind, I turned it into this psychological warfare. | 0:08:42 | 0:08:46 | |
I thought, "I'm going to war on cancer in my head. | 0:08:46 | 0:08:49 | |
"And I am going to buy a combat jacket | 0:08:49 | 0:08:52 | |
"and they're not coming off till I'm healed." | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
I couldn't bear the sight of it. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
It broke my heart to see him dressed in it. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:01 | |
He grew a beard and he changed his personality a little bit. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:04 | |
And he'd just hunker down and just, again, | 0:09:04 | 0:09:07 | |
pulled himself into his music. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
We all knew he had this diagnosis. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:11 | |
The fans who were coming to the gigs every night didn't. | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
And that had a slightly surreal quality because you knew he had this | 0:09:14 | 0:09:18 | |
serious thing hanging over him, you knew he had this surreal audience, | 0:09:18 | 0:09:21 | |
but he was putting on these amazing shows, | 0:09:21 | 0:09:22 | |
getting an amazing response from fans at the shows, | 0:09:22 | 0:09:25 | |
and none of them had any idea what he was carrying around with him. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:29 | |
# Who will light the fire | 0:09:29 | 0:09:31 | |
# I need to survive? | 0:09:31 | 0:09:33 | |
# Who will be the lifeblood | 0:09:35 | 0:09:37 | |
# Coursing through my veins? # | 0:09:37 | 0:09:40 | |
When I got back and had the blood tests, ready to go into action, | 0:09:40 | 0:09:44 | |
my count had started to reverse, which is very unusual. | 0:09:44 | 0:09:47 | |
I thought it was a miracle. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:50 | |
I saw it as an absolute sign that I'd been saved. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:53 | |
They looked at everything. | 0:09:57 | 0:09:59 | |
Basically, all their learning said, | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
"That's lymphoma, we've got to act." | 0:10:01 | 0:10:03 | |
They put it down to a miracle. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
They called it spontaneous remission | 0:10:05 | 0:10:07 | |
and all the signs of the cancer had disappeared. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:10 | |
It's rather like seeing a grove of oak trees. | 0:10:12 | 0:10:14 | |
You can see the oak trees, you can send out your guys with a chainsaw, | 0:10:14 | 0:10:18 | |
you can say, "We cut down every single oak tree." | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
You can't see the acorns in the ground. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
What you don't know is if, in six months, 12 months, 18 months, | 0:10:22 | 0:10:26 | |
how many of those acorns are going to start to sprout? | 0:10:26 | 0:10:29 | |
Almost ten years to the day, Mike developed lymphs on his neck. | 0:10:30 | 0:10:36 | |
All hell let loose. | 0:10:37 | 0:10:39 | |
I couldn't believe he was so ill. | 0:10:39 | 0:10:43 | |
He had his first chemotherapy the day before Christmas Eve | 0:10:43 | 0:10:47 | |
and everything changed. It's like you've gone from Technicolor, | 0:10:47 | 0:10:51 | |
which is how I like to live my life, to black and white, all drained. | 0:10:51 | 0:10:55 | |
Like a weed killer, is what it is. | 0:10:57 | 0:10:59 | |
But I've never given in. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:02 | |
Now I feel like it's knocking me out, but I try to stay awake. | 0:11:02 | 0:11:06 | |
I think we've been quite hard-core about the chemotherapy, haven't we? | 0:11:06 | 0:11:10 | |
Mike will always tease that I've never allowed him to stay | 0:11:10 | 0:11:14 | |
in bed the next day. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:15 | |
It's always, like, "Get up, get busy, get focused." | 0:11:15 | 0:11:19 | |
So, this is his one time when he's allowed to sit, | 0:11:19 | 0:11:23 | |
get a bit sleepy and a bit tired. | 0:11:23 | 0:11:26 | |
But tomorrow, it will be up and at 'em. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:30 | |
Every year for the last ten years, | 0:11:30 | 0:11:32 | |
Mike and Jules have organised the Snowdon Rocks trek to | 0:11:32 | 0:11:35 | |
the summit of Snowdon to raise money for their | 0:11:35 | 0:11:38 | |
Love Hope Strength Foundation. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:40 | |
It supports the North Wales Cancer Centre, | 0:11:40 | 0:11:43 | |
where Mike has been treated for the last 20 years. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
Jules and I have always loved climbing in the mountains. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
And it was while lying in the hospital, | 0:11:48 | 0:11:52 | |
see Snowdon in the distance from the window from the cancer centre, | 0:11:52 | 0:11:55 | |
and got that yearning to go back up the mountain. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:58 | |
To go up the mountain symbolises a journey back to health. | 0:11:58 | 0:12:01 | |
If I can climb that, that's where I used to be before cancer. | 0:12:01 | 0:12:05 | |
I reckon we're hitting about 1,000 people that are involved | 0:12:06 | 0:12:09 | |
-in the whole event now. -Definitely. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:11 | |
It's really engaged the whole community. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:13 | |
The work that Mike is doing is fantastic. | 0:12:19 | 0:12:23 | |
We know he's battling cancer himself | 0:12:23 | 0:12:25 | |
and he's raised so much money with the help of so many people | 0:12:25 | 0:12:28 | |
right across North Wales. He's such an inspiration. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
# You always need a weatherman | 0:12:31 | 0:12:32 | |
# To know which way the wind blows. # | 0:12:32 | 0:12:34 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
He's the kind of chap that he'll say, "Do something," | 0:12:36 | 0:12:38 | |
and everybody goes, "How high, where do I go and what next?" | 0:12:38 | 0:12:42 | |
He really does lead from the front, though. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:44 | |
He never asks you to do anything that he wouldn't do himself, | 0:12:44 | 0:12:47 | |
and he isn't doing himself, which I think makes a big difference. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
The combination of Mike and Julie is just incredible. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:57 | |
They are the perfect partnership. | 0:12:57 | 0:12:59 | |
They drive each other on, they feed each other and they push each other. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:02 | |
Mike goes off and performs, | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
Julie does the work and inspires other people to join the journey, | 0:13:04 | 0:13:07 | |
which is not only this, but it's a global one, isn't it? | 0:13:07 | 0:13:11 | |
Base Camp Everest, Machu Picchu, | 0:13:13 | 0:13:16 | |
Mount Fiji, Kilimanjaro. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:18 | |
We will climb mountains and raise a lot of money | 0:13:18 | 0:13:21 | |
and give it to the people of that mountain. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:24 | |
The Love Hope Strength Foundation also uses gigs around the world | 0:13:24 | 0:13:28 | |
to recruit organ and bone marrow donors | 0:13:28 | 0:13:30 | |
to create life-saving matches for leukaemia sufferers like Mike. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:34 | |
We've been able to save 2,620 lives to date. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:41 | |
I think it's really important to have a challenge. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:46 | |
When you're there and the needles are in your arms | 0:13:46 | 0:13:49 | |
and the doctor's reading out the results, | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
you need that focus to get through that | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
and that comes with looking ahead. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:56 | |
You can climb a mountain and get back to the life you choose to live. | 0:13:56 | 0:14:00 | |
# I'm a soldier marching in an army | 0:14:00 | 0:14:04 | |
# Got no guns to shoot | 0:14:04 | 0:14:07 | |
# All I got is a one guitar | 0:14:07 | 0:14:10 | |
# I got one guitar | 0:14:11 | 0:14:14 | |
# And it sounds like | 0:14:14 | 0:14:16 | |
# Nah, nah, nah | 0:14:16 | 0:14:18 | |
# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah | 0:14:18 | 0:14:20 | |
# Nah, nah, nah | 0:14:20 | 0:14:22 | |
# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
# Nah, nah, nah | 0:14:24 | 0:14:26 | |
# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah... # | 0:14:26 | 0:14:28 | |
Yeah. There we go. Give us a kiss. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:33 | |
High five, then? | 0:14:35 | 0:14:36 | |
I can still give you a kiss, I'm your dad. | 0:14:36 | 0:14:39 | |
It's allowed. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
Gareth Bale. | 0:14:46 | 0:14:48 | |
Bale, for Wales. In! | 0:14:49 | 0:14:51 | |
In towards Vokes. Vokes! | 0:14:54 | 0:14:56 | |
Kicked in towards Robson-Kanu. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:01 | |
Taylor's available. What a turn! What a goal! | 0:15:01 | 0:15:04 | |
Been a rocking summer. I've enjoyed it. It's been lovely. | 0:15:04 | 0:15:08 | |
Mike and I, before we had the kids, | 0:15:08 | 0:15:10 | |
used to have open house all the time and throw lots of parties. | 0:15:10 | 0:15:14 | |
It feels like over the last ten years - I don't know if it's because | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
we've been on the road a lot or concentrating on the kids - | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
but we haven't done that as much. | 0:15:19 | 0:15:21 | |
So the Euros have been great. | 0:15:21 | 0:15:22 | |
We've had open house every week. | 0:15:22 | 0:15:24 | |
-THEY CHANT: -Wales! Wales! | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
We were all looking forward to the next three weeks | 0:15:29 | 0:15:31 | |
of just being carefree | 0:15:31 | 0:15:35 | |
and not even worrying about anything. | 0:15:35 | 0:15:39 | |
I couldn't believe it, this weekend just gone, I came across a lump... | 0:15:39 | 0:15:44 | |
on my nipple, just below my nipple. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:47 | |
I didn't give too much concern about it but, because I'm used to acting | 0:15:47 | 0:15:52 | |
fast with health issues, I phoned my doctor on Monday morning. | 0:15:52 | 0:15:58 | |
By Monday afternoon, I was in surgery. | 0:15:58 | 0:16:01 | |
I'd been checked out and they established | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
that it was indeed a lump and that I needed a mammogram. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:07 | |
So, that's where I'm heading today, to get checked out. | 0:16:07 | 0:16:10 | |
I'm hoping it will be something of nothing. | 0:16:12 | 0:16:15 | |
You know, the important thing to remember is that | 0:16:15 | 0:16:18 | |
10% of lumps that women find are cancerous, | 0:16:18 | 0:16:21 | |
so that's some good odds. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:23 | |
But we're used to walking into places hand in hand | 0:16:23 | 0:16:27 | |
and expecting the worst. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:28 | |
So there's part of me that expects, because it's Mike and I, | 0:16:28 | 0:16:32 | |
that it will be bad news. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:33 | |
There's that sick sense of humour that just thinks, | 0:16:33 | 0:16:37 | |
"If there's going to be someone in that 10%, it probably will be me." | 0:16:37 | 0:16:41 | |
I wouldn't wish living with cancer on anyone. | 0:16:47 | 0:16:49 | |
But I think for Mike and I, | 0:16:49 | 0:16:51 | |
if anyone has had to deal with it as a couple, | 0:16:51 | 0:16:53 | |
we're probably the best couple to take it. | 0:16:53 | 0:16:56 | |
But were lucky, we're fulfilled, we're enriched, | 0:16:56 | 0:16:59 | |
we have a really exciting life. | 0:16:59 | 0:17:01 | |
I count myself really lucky that I happened to bump into Mike in | 0:17:01 | 0:17:05 | |
the high street in Prestatyn, in 1986. | 0:17:05 | 0:17:10 | |
-How you feeling? -Nervous, babe. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:12 | |
-Are you? -A little bit, yes. -Yeah? -Yeah. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:15 | |
Jules and I met through the hand of fate, really. | 0:17:20 | 0:17:23 | |
I'd come from touring with The Alarm at probably | 0:17:23 | 0:17:26 | |
the peak of our career in the '80s. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
It was 1986 and we'd played to 25,000 people at UCLA. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:33 | |
We'd come home to Britain and played at Wembley Stadium. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:37 | |
I was always a bit of a home bird. | 0:17:37 | 0:17:40 | |
Whenever we moved to London, Friday night, | 0:17:40 | 0:17:42 | |
I'd be hitchhiking up the M1 and the M6 to get home and see all my mates, | 0:17:42 | 0:17:46 | |
back in Rhyl. I still lived at home, you know? | 0:17:46 | 0:17:49 | |
Internationally famous rock star, | 0:17:49 | 0:17:51 | |
living at home at home with his parents. | 0:17:51 | 0:17:54 | |
Anyway, I was out on the street and I saw a vision... | 0:17:54 | 0:18:00 | |
in a blue dress. Fell in love, right there and then. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:04 | |
I remember walking her home. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:06 | |
I'd never walked six foot off the floor before. | 0:18:06 | 0:18:11 | |
I didn't know what that felt like, but I did when I met Jules. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:15 | |
I opened the door, and there's this guy with the highest haircut | 0:18:15 | 0:18:18 | |
you've ever seen and a coat down to the floor and these big boots. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:22 | |
I thought, "Oh, my God. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:24 | |
"What the hell's she brought home now?" | 0:18:24 | 0:18:26 | |
I tell you what, she couldn't have brought home a nicer | 0:18:26 | 0:18:28 | |
and a better man. | 0:18:28 | 0:18:30 | |
Two weeks after we met, we got engaged. | 0:18:32 | 0:18:35 | |
Our parents thought we were absolutely crazy, but I knew, | 0:18:35 | 0:18:38 | |
Jules knew. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:40 | |
It was binding, right there and then. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
I knew nothing in life would ever break it. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:46 | |
I'm afraid it's looking like bad news, yeah. | 0:19:00 | 0:19:04 | |
So, we're not going to know for two weeks, | 0:19:04 | 0:19:06 | |
two weeks of torture, waiting. | 0:19:06 | 0:19:08 | |
But it's looking pretty obvious that it's cancer, yeah. | 0:19:08 | 0:19:12 | |
There's two areas on the right breast, | 0:19:19 | 0:19:22 | |
the lump below the nipple that I'd found myself, | 0:19:22 | 0:19:25 | |
which they said it was very unusual that I'd found that | 0:19:25 | 0:19:27 | |
and it must have been some instinct for me. | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
And then there's another mass, as well. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:32 | |
I am prepared, | 0:19:32 | 0:19:33 | |
and I've had lots of experience dealing with these moments, | 0:19:33 | 0:19:37 | |
so if it's going to have to happen to anyone, I think I can manage it. | 0:19:37 | 0:19:43 | |
And I'll manage that by... I've got great girlfriends who look after me, | 0:19:43 | 0:19:46 | |
a great family. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
I feel bad for them, more. | 0:19:49 | 0:19:51 | |
I know what's going on inside me. | 0:19:51 | 0:19:54 | |
It's the thought of... | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
That makes me sad. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
The thought of my mum and dad, I don't want them to be worried. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
It's all right, darling. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:05 | |
I can deal with it, | 0:20:05 | 0:20:07 | |
but I don't want to blight their life and to worry about me. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:11 | |
It'll be OK. | 0:20:14 | 0:20:15 | |
They'll be amazing, you watch. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:17 | |
Dad will be brilliant. | 0:20:17 | 0:20:19 | |
-Your mum will be phenomenal. Yeah? -Mm. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:21 | |
LINE RINGS | 0:20:28 | 0:20:29 | |
-'Hello?' -Hi, Mum. It's me. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
-'Hiya.' -Hi. Sorry I've been late calling you, | 0:20:31 | 0:20:36 | |
but it's just taken a long process this afternoon. | 0:20:36 | 0:20:39 | |
I've seen loads and loads of people. | 0:20:39 | 0:20:41 | |
-'Right.' -But it is highly likely that it is breast cancer, Mum. | 0:20:41 | 0:20:45 | |
'It's highly likely?' | 0:20:45 | 0:20:47 | |
Yeah, I'm afraid, yeah. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:49 | |
You always think it happens to other people. | 0:20:50 | 0:20:54 | |
I play bowls, locally, | 0:20:54 | 0:20:56 | |
and I was in matches, | 0:20:56 | 0:20:58 | |
and I was crying as I played. | 0:20:58 | 0:21:01 | |
I couldn't tell anybody because she didn't want anybody to know. | 0:21:01 | 0:21:04 | |
Even though it was a horrendous feeling, from deep down here... | 0:21:08 | 0:21:12 | |
..I suddenly thought, "Wait a minute, Peter, | 0:21:14 | 0:21:18 | |
"look what she's been through so far. | 0:21:18 | 0:21:20 | |
"Look how she's coped with Mike, you know? | 0:21:20 | 0:21:22 | |
"The highs and lows, seeing that guy after his chemo, the next day." | 0:21:22 | 0:21:26 | |
But, you know, she's special. Simple as that. | 0:21:27 | 0:21:31 | |
-You're OK, though, yeah? -Yeah, I'm fine. | 0:21:35 | 0:21:37 | |
-You are. I know you are. -I'm fine. | 0:21:37 | 0:21:40 | |
You're doing great. That's the most important thing now. | 0:21:42 | 0:21:45 | |
What did we used to do with IVF when we had bad news? | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
-Watch 24. -Yeah. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
It's those kind of things we were talking about, you know? | 0:21:52 | 0:21:54 | |
Joking apart, everyone's like, | 0:21:54 | 0:21:56 | |
"It's good to have kids when you're going through bad stuff." | 0:21:56 | 0:21:59 | |
But when you don't have kids, and we were going through IVF... | 0:21:59 | 0:22:02 | |
..we could just completely... | 0:22:04 | 0:22:05 | |
I think that's what I found easier, | 0:22:05 | 0:22:07 | |
we could just go into a bubble and disappear. | 0:22:07 | 0:22:12 | |
And we did. We used to watch 24 in real-time to distract us. | 0:22:12 | 0:22:17 | |
You know what? Going through IVF is probably more devastating than this. | 0:22:17 | 0:22:22 | |
I think that's why I can cope with it. | 0:22:22 | 0:22:24 | |
I have got Dylan and Evan, after all. | 0:22:24 | 0:22:26 | |
But IVF, | 0:22:26 | 0:22:28 | |
because I dealt with that privately, | 0:22:28 | 0:22:30 | |
I didn't really even tell my girlfriends. | 0:22:30 | 0:22:32 | |
I do not wish that upon my worst enemy. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:37 | |
I remember making the decision, | 0:22:41 | 0:22:42 | |
"Right, come on, let's get pregnant. Next month I'll be pregnant." | 0:22:42 | 0:22:45 | |
And then, of course, it all started, month, after month, | 0:22:45 | 0:22:50 | |
with the periods arriving. | 0:22:50 | 0:22:52 | |
And I kept making excuses. | 0:22:52 | 0:22:55 | |
And it was Mike, after about 12 months, that said, | 0:22:55 | 0:22:58 | |
"Babe, I think we've got a problem. Need to go to the doctors." | 0:22:58 | 0:23:01 | |
They found out that my fallopian tubes were blocked as | 0:23:01 | 0:23:04 | |
the result of an appendicitis operation | 0:23:04 | 0:23:06 | |
when I was at Bangor University. | 0:23:06 | 0:23:08 | |
And that broke her to pieces. | 0:23:10 | 0:23:14 | |
She stayed at home, she didn't want to go out. | 0:23:14 | 0:23:17 | |
Felt that she'd been violated somehow. | 0:23:17 | 0:23:21 | |
So, together, we talked about the various options | 0:23:21 | 0:23:26 | |
and then we decided to go seek out the IVF route. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
The first IVF failed, | 0:23:32 | 0:23:35 | |
the second IVF I got pregnant. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:37 | |
And then... | 0:23:37 | 0:23:39 | |
about seven weeks into the pregnancy, and I felt amazing, | 0:23:39 | 0:23:44 | |
then seven weeks, just... | 0:23:44 | 0:23:46 | |
literally, like that, I looked at Mike and I just said, | 0:23:46 | 0:23:49 | |
"I'm not pregnant any more." | 0:23:49 | 0:23:51 | |
He's like, "What?" I said, | 0:23:51 | 0:23:53 | |
"I can just tell." Everything is just gone... | 0:23:53 | 0:23:57 | |
The hardest thing I've had to do as a human being, | 0:23:57 | 0:24:00 | |
to this point in life, | 0:24:00 | 0:24:02 | |
was sit in the consultation room with Jules, with the ultrasound, | 0:24:02 | 0:24:06 | |
and the nurse looking at the screen | 0:24:06 | 0:24:09 | |
hoping to see the bleep of a heartbeat, the shape of a child. | 0:24:09 | 0:24:14 | |
-There was nothing there. -On my third attempt, I didn't get pregnant. | 0:24:14 | 0:24:18 | |
I thought, "Right, I'm in for the long haul now." | 0:24:18 | 0:24:21 | |
Fourth attempt, I just thought, | 0:24:21 | 0:24:23 | |
"Right. A few beers," I relaxed. | 0:24:23 | 0:24:26 | |
And it worked, I got pregnant. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:28 | |
Not only did I get pregnant, | 0:24:33 | 0:24:35 | |
I created lots of embryos and, as a result, | 0:24:35 | 0:24:37 | |
I was able to freeze some embryos. | 0:24:37 | 0:24:39 | |
Fast forward, Dylan was aged two, | 0:24:39 | 0:24:42 | |
Evan has been easy-peasy from the beginning. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:46 | |
I went down to Midland Fertility, | 0:24:46 | 0:24:48 | |
they defrosted him overnight and popped him in. | 0:24:48 | 0:24:52 | |
And as I drove away from Midland Fertility Services, | 0:24:52 | 0:24:55 | |
I just knew I was pregnant. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:56 | |
Explain the birds and bees to those two. | 0:25:01 | 0:25:03 | |
That's going to be fun! | 0:25:03 | 0:25:04 | |
We'll have to really think about how we manage it with Dylan, | 0:25:07 | 0:25:10 | |
-more than anybody. -Well, he's that little bit older. | 0:25:10 | 0:25:13 | |
Evan, it will kind of bounce off him a little bit. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
They both understand. | 0:25:15 | 0:25:17 | |
They've been living with the with the word cancer for a long, | 0:25:17 | 0:25:20 | |
long time, all their lives. | 0:25:20 | 0:25:22 | |
They'll say, "Well, Dad's OK, so Mum will be OK, too." | 0:25:22 | 0:25:26 | |
The day after we found out about Jules' condition, | 0:25:33 | 0:25:35 | |
we had to face up to the fact that I was booked to appear at | 0:25:35 | 0:25:39 | |
the homecoming of the Wales soccer team | 0:25:39 | 0:25:42 | |
after their incredible journey at the Euro 2016 tournament. | 0:25:42 | 0:25:47 | |
At first, when I walked out the hospital, | 0:25:47 | 0:25:50 | |
the last thing I felt like doing was going in a car to Cardiff, | 0:25:50 | 0:25:53 | |
from North Wales. | 0:25:53 | 0:25:55 | |
But as Jules woke up in the morning and I could start to see | 0:25:55 | 0:25:59 | |
some strength returning to her, she said, "Can we go?" | 0:25:59 | 0:26:02 | |
I thought, "Well, it's a bit like what I said when I was diagnosed," | 0:26:03 | 0:26:07 | |
I still had a gig to go. I said, | 0:26:07 | 0:26:08 | |
"Do you mind if I go and play a gig?" | 0:26:08 | 0:26:10 | |
Hi, guys. How's it going? How are you? | 0:26:12 | 0:26:15 | |
I'm so pleased that I've come down today. | 0:26:15 | 0:26:17 | |
It's fantastic to be part of this very upbeat, positive atmosphere. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:21 | |
I feel fairly formidable, I have to say. | 0:26:21 | 0:26:24 | |
Really looking forward to getting to grips with this. | 0:26:24 | 0:26:27 | |
-Get cracking, that's what I need to do. -Yeah. | 0:26:27 | 0:26:29 | |
I had to go on stage and sing the Burt Bacharach song which has become | 0:26:33 | 0:26:38 | |
synonymous with the Wales team, Can't Take My Eyes Off You. | 0:26:38 | 0:26:43 | |
# You're just too good to be true | 0:26:43 | 0:26:45 | |
# Can't take my eyes off you | 0:26:47 | 0:26:50 | |
# I want to hold you so much | 0:26:51 | 0:26:55 | |
# You'd be like heaven to touch... # | 0:26:55 | 0:26:58 | |
There's a line that says, | 0:26:58 | 0:27:00 | |
"Now that love has arrived, I thank God I'm alive." | 0:27:00 | 0:27:03 | |
And I looked at Jules at that point and, I have to say, | 0:27:03 | 0:27:08 | |
it absolutely broke me for a second. | 0:27:08 | 0:27:10 | |
I had to find all the... | 0:27:10 | 0:27:12 | |
layers of professionalism that are steeped in what I do. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:16 | |
I had to look away because if I carried on looking | 0:27:16 | 0:27:19 | |
I would have broken down. | 0:27:19 | 0:27:21 | |
# I love you, baby... # | 0:27:21 | 0:27:23 | |
Mike is very invincible. | 0:27:23 | 0:27:24 | |
So I'm married to somebody, for a start, who's very strong. | 0:27:24 | 0:27:27 | |
He hasn't cried over this at all. | 0:27:27 | 0:27:29 | |
But, interestingly, he just caught sight of me stood on my own, | 0:27:29 | 0:27:33 | |
wallowing in my self-pity. | 0:27:33 | 0:27:35 | |
I think that rocked him a little bit, and that's not like Mike. | 0:27:35 | 0:27:38 | |
Have a great night with the Manic Street Preachers. | 0:27:42 | 0:27:45 | |
Thank you. | 0:27:47 | 0:27:48 | |
When I saw Jules at the side of the stage, I walked down the steps, | 0:27:51 | 0:27:55 | |
I only had eyes for her. | 0:27:55 | 0:27:57 | |
There was thousands of fans screaming, cheering and clapping. | 0:27:57 | 0:28:02 | |
I just wanted to hold Jules in that moment and look in her eyes. | 0:28:02 | 0:28:06 | |
To see Jules, in that moment... | 0:28:06 | 0:28:09 | |
30 years we've been together from 1986 to 2016, | 0:28:09 | 0:28:15 | |
and there's a depth to that and a strength to that and | 0:28:15 | 0:28:19 | |
a reservoir of will that we can draw upon to see us through this period | 0:28:19 | 0:28:24 | |
and it all came to me in that moment. | 0:28:24 | 0:28:27 | |
When I had to sing, "Thank God love has arrived..." | 0:28:27 | 0:28:31 | |
I found that hard. That was harder than I thought. | 0:28:31 | 0:28:35 | |
You're just too good to be true, babe. I love you. | 0:28:35 | 0:28:38 | |
I love you, too, babes | 0:28:38 | 0:28:40 | |
I don't quite know what's going to happen yet, so I've got to wait. | 0:28:45 | 0:28:49 | |
And I feel really sad that I might have to lose my breast. | 0:28:49 | 0:28:52 | |
I really don't want to lose my hair. | 0:28:52 | 0:28:55 | |
And in two weeks' time I will know | 0:28:55 | 0:28:58 | |
how bad my tumour is, or how good my tumour is. | 0:28:58 | 0:29:02 | |
I feel like I am in some bizarre, surreal - | 0:29:07 | 0:29:10 | |
dare I use the word? - nightmare. | 0:29:10 | 0:29:13 | |
And then hoping it will be less of a nightmare soon, | 0:29:13 | 0:29:15 | |
in a few days, maybe, I don't know. | 0:29:15 | 0:29:18 | |
So, feeling a bit blue. | 0:29:19 | 0:29:21 | |
It's Monday and it's raining. | 0:29:21 | 0:29:24 | |
I just can't shake off my malaise, really. | 0:29:24 | 0:29:28 | |
I don't like knowing what's happening inside me. | 0:29:29 | 0:29:32 | |
Mike clearly doesn't tell me when he is very worried. | 0:29:34 | 0:29:37 | |
He sees his job to stay strong. | 0:29:37 | 0:29:40 | |
So, who knows what he's feeling? | 0:29:40 | 0:29:43 | |
He has written this song, Time, So Little Time. | 0:29:43 | 0:29:47 | |
When you read the lyrics, it is heartbreaking. | 0:29:47 | 0:29:49 | |
I'm really scared about having to have an operation | 0:29:56 | 0:29:59 | |
and lose my breast. | 0:29:59 | 0:30:00 | |
I'm scared about losing my femininity. | 0:30:00 | 0:30:03 | |
I'm scared about losing my hair. | 0:30:03 | 0:30:05 | |
I'm really, really fed up. | 0:30:05 | 0:30:07 | |
This is a household full of cancer. | 0:30:09 | 0:30:11 | |
They've had cancer to deal with for 20 years. | 0:30:11 | 0:30:14 | |
It was just unbelievable that Jules then | 0:30:14 | 0:30:16 | |
was going through this journey herself. | 0:30:16 | 0:30:19 | |
Them both being ill... | 0:30:19 | 0:30:22 | |
is a whole new level of difficulty... | 0:30:22 | 0:30:27 | |
but...they're up to it. | 0:30:27 | 0:30:30 | |
They'll win this fight, | 0:30:36 | 0:30:38 | |
and the most important thing is that they have long lives | 0:30:38 | 0:30:41 | |
because they've a lot to contribute. | 0:30:41 | 0:30:44 | |
We need more people like this. | 0:30:44 | 0:30:46 | |
But Jules is a jewel and she's precious. | 0:30:46 | 0:30:51 | |
I know she's going to pull through, I know that much. | 0:30:51 | 0:30:53 | |
Today's a results clinic, | 0:30:57 | 0:30:59 | |
-so it's basically giving you your diagnosis today. -Yes. | 0:30:59 | 0:31:03 | |
Now, you have got breast cancer... | 0:31:03 | 0:31:06 | |
-Yeah. -..as you thought. -Yes. | 0:31:06 | 0:31:09 | |
You've got a lesion just around the nipple, | 0:31:09 | 0:31:12 | |
which is the one you came in with and Dr Edwards scanned that, | 0:31:12 | 0:31:15 | |
as you said. | 0:31:15 | 0:31:16 | |
She said while she was scanning around there | 0:31:16 | 0:31:19 | |
she noticed some subtle changes a bit higher up | 0:31:19 | 0:31:22 | |
-in the centre of the right breast. -Yes. | 0:31:22 | 0:31:24 | |
-They're both cancerous. -Yeah. | 0:31:24 | 0:31:28 | |
Now, the one at the top, that, we reckon, is about two centimetres. | 0:31:28 | 0:31:33 | |
-Wow. -OK? | 0:31:33 | 0:31:35 | |
So, that lump there is a cancer lump, OK? | 0:31:38 | 0:31:42 | |
And that would mean that, if you kept your breast, | 0:31:42 | 0:31:45 | |
you would have to lose your nipple. | 0:31:45 | 0:31:47 | |
-Right, OK. -Can I get you to sit up, please? | 0:31:47 | 0:31:49 | |
Dangle your legs down, if you could. | 0:31:49 | 0:31:51 | |
I'm just going to ask you to put your hands on your hips for me. | 0:31:51 | 0:31:54 | |
-I'm going to move your breast round a little bit, OK? -Yeah. | 0:31:54 | 0:31:57 | |
That's going to help me decide... | 0:31:57 | 0:31:59 | |
-..if we've got enough tissue in the lower breast... -OK. | 0:32:01 | 0:32:04 | |
..to use to replace this tissue up here that I'm going to remove, OK? | 0:32:04 | 0:32:08 | |
Now, I think we might just be able to get away with it. | 0:32:11 | 0:32:13 | |
-OK. -OK? | 0:32:13 | 0:32:15 | |
You'll have a much smaller breast, but it will be... | 0:32:15 | 0:32:17 | |
I think we can still maintain a breast shape for you, | 0:32:17 | 0:32:20 | |
you will be unmatched, on the other side. | 0:32:20 | 0:32:22 | |
That will be bigger. But we can do surgery on that side to lift | 0:32:22 | 0:32:25 | |
-and match. -Can you? -OK. Just cover you up there. -OK. | 0:32:25 | 0:32:29 | |
-I believe you're going away? -Mm-hm. | 0:32:32 | 0:32:34 | |
-So that's what we need to discuss. -Yes, OK. | 0:32:34 | 0:32:37 | |
Our problem is, | 0:32:37 | 0:32:39 | |
Mike's a musician, so he's got some shows booked. | 0:32:39 | 0:32:43 | |
We go away every year for a month to New York, | 0:32:43 | 0:32:46 | |
so we're planning to go on Sunday. | 0:32:46 | 0:32:48 | |
I think when I did my research, | 0:32:48 | 0:32:50 | |
I was working chronologically that... | 0:32:50 | 0:32:53 | |
someone probably wouldn't be able to operate on me until... | 0:32:53 | 0:32:57 | |
the end of August. | 0:32:57 | 0:32:59 | |
I don't know if that's right. | 0:32:59 | 0:33:01 | |
It's good to try and maintain some level of normality | 0:33:01 | 0:33:04 | |
and get on with it. | 0:33:04 | 0:33:06 | |
But if the MRI's fine, | 0:33:06 | 0:33:08 | |
it's not good to be a big issue for your leave date. | 0:33:08 | 0:33:11 | |
They're not sure yet, this all depends on the MRI, | 0:33:11 | 0:33:14 | |
whether it's a mastectomy | 0:33:14 | 0:33:17 | |
or rebuilding with the breast as it is. | 0:33:17 | 0:33:21 | |
These are all the answers that will come once they've studied the MRI. | 0:33:21 | 0:33:26 | |
I think there is a time when you have to say, | 0:33:28 | 0:33:31 | |
"OK, point out the risks, explain the risks," | 0:33:31 | 0:33:34 | |
but if your patient turns around and says, | 0:33:34 | 0:33:37 | |
"No, I want to do this," | 0:33:37 | 0:33:38 | |
then you ought to back them, you ought to try and support them. | 0:33:38 | 0:33:41 | |
Is life for living or not? | 0:33:44 | 0:33:46 | |
It was quite surreal getting on the plane and coming here, | 0:33:49 | 0:33:52 | |
but I knew I had to come. | 0:33:52 | 0:33:53 | |
I didn't want to cancel anything. | 0:33:53 | 0:33:55 | |
I think that gave out the wrong signals. | 0:33:55 | 0:33:57 | |
I've had a few moments where I've wobbled, which is only natural, | 0:33:58 | 0:34:02 | |
but it's a constant learning process for me, this, | 0:34:02 | 0:34:05 | |
but I seem to be winning the war on that. | 0:34:05 | 0:34:08 | |
She's been really focused on putting it out of her mind, really, | 0:34:09 | 0:34:13 | |
for the sake of her kids and for the family, | 0:34:13 | 0:34:15 | |
so we could enjoy a normal holiday. | 0:34:15 | 0:34:18 | |
I feel in a very good place, but I feel different. | 0:34:21 | 0:34:24 | |
It's definitely changed me. | 0:34:24 | 0:34:26 | |
I feel I have to sort of disappear for a little bit | 0:34:26 | 0:34:29 | |
and focus on all the positive things in my life | 0:34:29 | 0:34:33 | |
and just to stop being afraid. | 0:34:33 | 0:34:35 | |
During this break here in New York, there's always rock and roll. | 0:34:40 | 0:34:43 | |
There's always the tap on the shoulder that says, | 0:34:43 | 0:34:45 | |
"Hey, Mike, you're a singer and you play guitar." | 0:34:45 | 0:34:47 | |
There's songs to be sung, gigs to be played and people to be played to. | 0:34:47 | 0:34:50 | |
# Well, I find myself in reverie | 0:34:50 | 0:34:53 | |
# About what we might have had | 0:34:53 | 0:34:56 | |
# And what might have been | 0:34:56 | 0:34:58 | |
# We had something going once | 0:34:58 | 0:35:01 | |
# That was such a long, long time ago... # | 0:35:01 | 0:35:05 | |
I've enjoyed that experience, it's an escape route for me. | 0:35:05 | 0:35:08 | |
Diving into the music, it allows you a little bit of freedom from cancer | 0:35:08 | 0:35:14 | |
because I live with it every day. And every morning I wake up, | 0:35:14 | 0:35:17 | |
and open a bottle that says "chemotherapy" and... | 0:35:17 | 0:35:20 | |
..same when I go to bed at night. | 0:35:21 | 0:35:23 | |
I talk to Jules, and | 0:35:23 | 0:35:24 | |
cancer's exuding from her personality | 0:35:24 | 0:35:26 | |
because she's going through breast cancer, | 0:35:26 | 0:35:29 | |
so to play music is a real escape. | 0:35:29 | 0:35:31 | |
# Oh | 0:35:31 | 0:35:33 | |
# The spirit of '76. # | 0:35:34 | 0:35:38 | |
Still out there! | 0:35:41 | 0:35:43 | |
We're sort of both lucky, at this stage of our lives, | 0:35:43 | 0:35:46 | |
and the challenges we face that we're involved in | 0:35:46 | 0:35:49 | |
the Love Hope Strength Cancer Foundation. | 0:35:49 | 0:35:51 | |
That all is a constant reminder of the goodwill that is out there, | 0:35:51 | 0:35:57 | |
the outcomes that can happen in a positive sense. | 0:35:57 | 0:36:01 | |
-How are you, my friend? -Good to see you. Thanks for making it out. | 0:36:01 | 0:36:03 | |
It's great to see you. It's been a long journey. | 0:36:03 | 0:36:05 | |
We've come to the John Varvatos clothing store. | 0:36:05 | 0:36:08 | |
They partnered with us today to do a stem cell donor drive, | 0:36:08 | 0:36:12 | |
here in the store. We're trying to encourage them to join the list, | 0:36:12 | 0:36:15 | |
to become life-saving matches for people like me with leukaemia | 0:36:15 | 0:36:18 | |
who might need a bone marrow transplant in the future, | 0:36:18 | 0:36:20 | |
a second chance at life. It's a really simple procedure, | 0:36:20 | 0:36:23 | |
it's a cheek swab that is the simplest part, | 0:36:23 | 0:36:26 | |
that gets you on the list. | 0:36:26 | 0:36:27 | |
Inside of your cheek, give a good 30-second hard swab. | 0:36:27 | 0:36:31 | |
Get those really good cells on there for us. | 0:36:31 | 0:36:32 | |
It's like a walrus. | 0:36:32 | 0:36:34 | |
As a charity, so far, | 0:36:35 | 0:36:37 | |
we've signed over 150,000 people to the list during this method, | 0:36:37 | 0:36:40 | |
events like today and bigger shows, | 0:36:40 | 0:36:43 | |
like at festivals like Lollapalooza or at Isle of Wight in the UK. | 0:36:43 | 0:36:47 | |
I'm not sure I'm looking forward to going home. | 0:36:51 | 0:36:54 | |
I could stay here for some time. | 0:36:54 | 0:36:56 | |
Wales is always the place I want to be, | 0:36:57 | 0:36:59 | |
but it's felt a bit different this time. | 0:36:59 | 0:37:02 | |
This time, I think we'd rather be staying here | 0:37:03 | 0:37:05 | |
and not have to go back to deal with what is going to happen next week. | 0:37:05 | 0:37:09 | |
Do you have any final questions? | 0:37:17 | 0:37:19 | |
No. | 0:37:19 | 0:37:21 | |
So, these are the important markings that will help us in theatre. | 0:37:21 | 0:37:27 | |
OK. Pop your arms back in there. | 0:37:27 | 0:37:29 | |
-I'll see you in theatre, OK? -Thanks ever so much. | 0:37:29 | 0:37:32 | |
Being the carer, | 0:37:35 | 0:37:36 | |
I think it's more exhausting than being the one going through it, | 0:37:36 | 0:37:39 | |
you know? And Mike has always said that, to be fair. | 0:37:39 | 0:37:41 | |
He's like, "I know how I'm feeling. | 0:37:41 | 0:37:43 | |
"You're asking me all the time, how am I feeling?" | 0:37:43 | 0:37:47 | |
He's probably going to have that experience now. | 0:37:47 | 0:37:50 | |
I don't want cancer to take anything away from me and Jules, | 0:37:51 | 0:37:56 | |
the two of us and our boys. | 0:37:56 | 0:37:58 | |
I still want us to lead the life we always dreamt of and imagined. | 0:37:58 | 0:38:02 | |
I'm hugely aware that we - all of us - have so little time. | 0:38:04 | 0:38:09 | |
All our lives are terminal. | 0:38:09 | 0:38:11 | |
We all come into this world by ourselves, | 0:38:13 | 0:38:14 | |
we leave this world by ourselves. | 0:38:14 | 0:38:17 | |
When it cuts to the quick, | 0:38:17 | 0:38:18 | |
you have to be able to be strong enough to deal with it by yourself. | 0:38:18 | 0:38:22 | |
When you're on your own, that's when cancer really comes up | 0:38:22 | 0:38:25 | |
and gives you the hardest time of all | 0:38:25 | 0:38:27 | |
because all your fears are there. | 0:38:27 | 0:38:30 | |
The battle is very personal and it is for Jules now. | 0:38:30 | 0:38:33 | |
It's a very personal, one-on-one conflict within yourself, | 0:38:33 | 0:38:38 | |
with something that is inside you that is eating at you all the time | 0:38:38 | 0:38:42 | |
and you're trying to make it stop. | 0:38:42 | 0:38:43 | |
"Why?" You keep asking yourself, if there is a God up there... | 0:38:45 | 0:38:49 | |
..because of what we've been through. | 0:38:50 | 0:38:52 | |
I've held her hand when she's not well. | 0:38:52 | 0:38:54 | |
I'm thinking, "Why? Why? Why?" | 0:38:54 | 0:38:57 | |
Well, she's everything to me. | 0:38:57 | 0:38:59 | |
During the operation, | 0:39:01 | 0:39:03 | |
Mr Khattak finds some more suspicious areas on Jules' breast, | 0:39:03 | 0:39:06 | |
which he believes could also be cancerous. | 0:39:06 | 0:39:09 | |
I started to take it there, as we drew. | 0:39:12 | 0:39:14 | |
But then I wanted a bit more of a margin | 0:39:14 | 0:39:16 | |
because I could feel a nodule much deeper and more lateral, | 0:39:16 | 0:39:19 | |
more on the outside. | 0:39:19 | 0:39:21 | |
That can go. Thank you. | 0:39:22 | 0:39:25 | |
Jules will now have another anxious two-week wait | 0:39:25 | 0:39:27 | |
to find out whether the cancer has all been taken out | 0:39:27 | 0:39:30 | |
or if the new lumps that Mr Khattak found | 0:39:30 | 0:39:32 | |
are a sign that the disease has spread further than first thought. | 0:39:32 | 0:39:36 | |
And now we just have to wait for healing | 0:39:38 | 0:39:41 | |
and the results in two weeks. | 0:39:41 | 0:39:43 | |
-Are you ready to rock? -That's it. I can carry that now. | 0:39:52 | 0:39:54 | |
I slept in the kids' bed last night. | 0:39:58 | 0:40:00 | |
I just made up the bed for Jules before I took her to hospital | 0:40:00 | 0:40:04 | |
and it felt like it was her bed, not mine. | 0:40:04 | 0:40:07 | |
It's nice, but when you come home from hospital, you want nice, | 0:40:09 | 0:40:12 | |
clean bed, fresh linen and then it feels more relaxing, doesn't it? | 0:40:12 | 0:40:18 | |
And it wasn't sweaty rock and roll bloke messing up the sheets | 0:40:18 | 0:40:23 | |
before she got in after her hospital escapades. | 0:40:23 | 0:40:27 | |
I can't believe it, really, that you're sat there smiling, | 0:40:29 | 0:40:33 | |
drinking a cup of tea and you look so well. | 0:40:33 | 0:40:35 | |
I'm thinking the mental, psychological combat zone over | 0:40:35 | 0:40:39 | |
the next two weeks because you're going to be away. | 0:40:39 | 0:40:42 | |
I like to be prepared for all eventualities, | 0:40:44 | 0:40:46 | |
so I think I'm psyching myself up that it's going to be a | 0:40:46 | 0:40:50 | |
-yes to chemo. But... -I don't think it will, but... -Don't you? Yeah. | 0:40:50 | 0:40:53 | |
We've got over one hurdle, | 0:40:53 | 0:40:55 | |
now the second one doesn't look as scary as it did. | 0:40:55 | 0:40:58 | |
It's the 6th of September and I'm in Washington, DC, | 0:41:06 | 0:41:09 | |
heading to the US Capitol Building to host Love Hope Strength | 0:41:09 | 0:41:13 | |
cheek swab donor drive, in the building itself, with senators, | 0:41:13 | 0:41:18 | |
Congressmen, representatives in attendance, | 0:41:18 | 0:41:22 | |
and it's a difficult day as well because Jules is back in the UK, | 0:41:22 | 0:41:28 | |
in Wales, a visit with Mr Khattak and the oncologist, | 0:41:28 | 0:41:32 | |
and she'll find out today if she has to face up to chemotherapy. | 0:41:32 | 0:41:36 | |
So, hopefully, today is the day where we can really | 0:41:36 | 0:41:40 | |
find out what the journey involves. | 0:41:40 | 0:41:43 | |
So, it's a massive day for Jules today | 0:41:43 | 0:41:45 | |
and a massive day for Love Hope Strength in Washington, DC. | 0:41:45 | 0:41:50 | |
I remember delivering pizzas and listening to The Alarm. | 0:41:51 | 0:41:55 | |
But it was really, I guess, about a year ago that we connected | 0:41:55 | 0:41:58 | |
and he told me about what he'd done in Westminster | 0:41:58 | 0:42:01 | |
and done the drive in Parliament. | 0:42:01 | 0:42:03 | |
I said, "Well, you know, | 0:42:03 | 0:42:04 | |
"let's talk about maybe doing one here some day." | 0:42:04 | 0:42:06 | |
And so a year later, here we are. | 0:42:06 | 0:42:08 | |
Welcome to the list. | 0:42:08 | 0:42:09 | |
It doesn't matter whether you're a Democrat, Republican, senator, | 0:42:09 | 0:42:13 | |
Congressman, representative or a visitor in the Capitol Centre, | 0:42:13 | 0:42:17 | |
if you come and get on the list | 0:42:17 | 0:42:18 | |
you could be the one to save someone else's life. | 0:42:18 | 0:42:21 | |
Mike's donor drive in the Capitol has struck a chord with one of | 0:42:22 | 0:42:25 | |
the most powerful members of Congress - | 0:42:25 | 0:42:28 | |
House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy, | 0:42:28 | 0:42:31 | |
whose family have felt the effects of cancer - | 0:42:31 | 0:42:33 | |
and he invites Mike to his office for a meeting. | 0:42:33 | 0:42:36 | |
So you battled leukaemia three times? | 0:42:36 | 0:42:38 | |
-I am in the midst of it. -In the midst of it. | 0:42:38 | 0:42:41 | |
-All right. -Yeah. -I lost my father to cancer. | 0:42:41 | 0:42:44 | |
-I read. -I lost an uncle to leukaemia, though. | 0:42:44 | 0:42:47 | |
-Did you? -For a number of years. Yeah. | 0:42:47 | 0:42:49 | |
I'm appearing at the World Cancer Congress in Paris in October | 0:42:49 | 0:42:54 | |
and I've been brought this guitar and I'd like you to sign it. | 0:42:54 | 0:42:57 | |
-Oh, I'd love to! -Because I want to play this at the opening ceremony | 0:42:57 | 0:43:01 | |
because I think there's a great opportunity to amplify the message | 0:43:01 | 0:43:04 | |
that we're a cancer community, aren't we? | 0:43:04 | 0:43:07 | |
-Yeah. -And we're really engaged. | 0:43:07 | 0:43:08 | |
There's not one family doesn't know somebody. | 0:43:08 | 0:43:10 | |
That's right. And what happened to you, what's happened to me | 0:43:10 | 0:43:13 | |
-brings us together and for the benefit of others. -Yeah. | 0:43:13 | 0:43:16 | |
So, I really appreciate you supporting our mission today, | 0:43:16 | 0:43:19 | |
-to say... -I'll be glad to. -And it's fantastic. | 0:43:19 | 0:43:21 | |
-You want to sit for a second? -Yeah. Absolutely. | 0:43:21 | 0:43:23 | |
-Did you bring a swab here? -We did. You going to sign up? Yay! | 0:43:23 | 0:43:27 | |
That was amazing. | 0:43:29 | 0:43:31 | |
Congressman McCarthy just registered to get on the list. | 0:43:31 | 0:43:35 | |
That's such a powerful message to send out. | 0:43:35 | 0:43:38 | |
It's been a momentous day here in the Capitol Building. | 0:43:40 | 0:43:43 | |
But, really, all I've been thinking about is Jules back at home because | 0:43:43 | 0:43:47 | |
she's been having a consultation with Mr Khattak, the surgeon. | 0:43:47 | 0:43:51 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:43:52 | 0:43:56 | |
-Hey, Jules. -Hi, darling. How you doing? -Yeah. | 0:43:57 | 0:44:00 | |
How'd did it go? | 0:44:00 | 0:44:02 | |
Can you believe it? No results. | 0:44:03 | 0:44:05 | |
No results? | 0:44:05 | 0:44:07 | |
No. I've got to wait another week. | 0:44:07 | 0:44:09 | |
They want to run one more test and it... | 0:44:09 | 0:44:12 | |
I asked, "Does that mean because it's... There's something sinister?" | 0:44:12 | 0:44:16 | |
And he said, "No, it's just what they have to do." | 0:44:16 | 0:44:19 | |
So, I'm not well. | 0:44:19 | 0:44:22 | |
That's been a bit hard over the last couple of days. | 0:44:22 | 0:44:24 | |
I've got a urine infection, which was missed when I went into surgery, | 0:44:24 | 0:44:28 | |
so it's a little bit of a palaver there, | 0:44:28 | 0:44:32 | |
so the one thing I've noticed the last couple of days, | 0:44:32 | 0:44:35 | |
because I've felt so ill, | 0:44:35 | 0:44:37 | |
you know, we are going to have to | 0:44:37 | 0:44:40 | |
either go in, move in with my parents. | 0:44:40 | 0:44:43 | |
No, no, we won't, darling. | 0:44:43 | 0:44:45 | |
We'll come through it together. We'll have to change the diary. | 0:44:45 | 0:44:48 | |
Yeah, but I don't think you will, that's the point. | 0:44:48 | 0:44:50 | |
You're already talking about going to Paris. | 0:44:50 | 0:44:52 | |
-You know, I might be having chemotherapy that weekend. -I know. | 0:44:52 | 0:44:56 | |
So we need to talk. | 0:44:56 | 0:44:57 | |
Do you want to go and I'll deal with it with my friends and family? | 0:44:57 | 0:45:00 | |
-No. No. No. -It will be a hard question | 0:45:00 | 0:45:03 | |
because I do think you'll want to go, | 0:45:03 | 0:45:05 | |
so just have a little think about that. | 0:45:05 | 0:45:08 | |
I'm feeling more vulnerable today and because I felt ill, | 0:45:08 | 0:45:12 | |
I felt it really tiring to feed the kids and ferry them around | 0:45:12 | 0:45:16 | |
and also stay upbeat with them. | 0:45:16 | 0:45:18 | |
You know, it's really hard when you're doing it by yourself. | 0:45:18 | 0:45:21 | |
I know, darling. I know. It sucks. | 0:45:21 | 0:45:23 | |
-Bye. I'm going to go now. -All right, babe. Love you. -Love you. | 0:45:23 | 0:45:27 | |
-Bye. -See ya. | 0:45:27 | 0:45:28 | |
I'm so tired! | 0:45:52 | 0:45:54 | |
I'm fine when I'm with people and I can put a brave face on, | 0:45:57 | 0:46:00 | |
but I'm so ill with my urine infection and I just feel so lonely. | 0:46:00 | 0:46:07 | |
It was a difficult time for everybody around her, really. | 0:46:07 | 0:46:10 | |
I think a lot of us felt you're going to need that support. | 0:46:10 | 0:46:13 | |
I think perhaps with me, coming from a nursing background, | 0:46:13 | 0:46:15 | |
knowing what potentially lay ahead for her, I thought, | 0:46:15 | 0:46:18 | |
"You're going to need him close to you." | 0:46:18 | 0:46:21 | |
But I've learnt not to question. | 0:46:21 | 0:46:23 | |
Jules is a very strong-minded person, | 0:46:23 | 0:46:26 | |
but I know Mike also struggled with that. He wanted to be here. | 0:46:26 | 0:46:30 | |
They've found a little bit of extra cancer. | 0:46:31 | 0:46:35 | |
They want to take me in for more surgery on Monday morning. | 0:46:35 | 0:46:40 | |
-'Oh, fuck.' -Yeah. | 0:46:40 | 0:46:42 | |
To receive the call that, you know, | 0:46:43 | 0:46:46 | |
there'd been a third tumour found, Jules | 0:46:46 | 0:46:48 | |
was going to have to have more surgery, | 0:46:48 | 0:46:51 | |
well, that just floored me and all I wanted to do was come home then. | 0:46:51 | 0:46:55 | |
'Listen, I'm going to come home on Sunday.' | 0:46:55 | 0:46:58 | |
-No, you're not! -'I am!' | 0:46:58 | 0:47:00 | |
-Mike, you're not! -'Obviously I can't have you go to hospital | 0:47:00 | 0:47:02 | |
-'and not be there.' -Mike, it's fine. | 0:47:02 | 0:47:05 | |
-'Yeah.' -Mike... | 0:47:05 | 0:47:07 | |
No, that's not happening. That's not happening, OK? | 0:47:07 | 0:47:11 | |
As a father, I wanted to come home. | 0:47:11 | 0:47:13 | |
As a husband, I wanted to come home and normally, | 0:47:13 | 0:47:15 | |
in my life, I've been able to make them all come together, | 0:47:15 | 0:47:19 | |
so the kids can come on tour and we can share in the whole experience | 0:47:19 | 0:47:22 | |
together as a family, but now, | 0:47:22 | 0:47:26 | |
as cancer can do, it starts to tear us apart. | 0:47:26 | 0:47:29 | |
Cancer is changing me by the day | 0:47:32 | 0:47:34 | |
and I thought I was already changed | 0:47:34 | 0:47:36 | |
after my experiences with Mike, but because it's happening to me, | 0:47:36 | 0:47:40 | |
it feels even different again. | 0:47:40 | 0:47:42 | |
And I just feel immensely grateful that my tumours have been found. | 0:47:42 | 0:47:48 | |
I've had to be strong because Mike's away, | 0:47:48 | 0:47:50 | |
but I wanted him to stay away. | 0:47:50 | 0:47:52 | |
I felt it was like no help him coming home. | 0:47:52 | 0:47:54 | |
I know that he will be home two weeks today. | 0:47:54 | 0:47:57 | |
Thanks a lot. Cheers! | 0:48:04 | 0:48:06 | |
-You've been gone for so long. Wow! -I tell ya... | 0:48:10 | 0:48:14 | |
It's been a tough month, hasn't it, babe, | 0:48:16 | 0:48:18 | |
with everything that's gone on? | 0:48:18 | 0:48:21 | |
It has. It was pretty devastating, but with this process, you know, | 0:48:21 | 0:48:24 | |
you find a lump and you want someone to tell you straightaway what | 0:48:24 | 0:48:28 | |
the diagnosis is, what's going to be involved, | 0:48:28 | 0:48:31 | |
but it's just the complete opposite of that. | 0:48:31 | 0:48:34 | |
Cancer is a moving target all day long. | 0:48:34 | 0:48:36 | |
Just when you think you've got your eyes on the sight, | 0:48:36 | 0:48:39 | |
it will jump and then it will come at you from another angle. | 0:48:39 | 0:48:42 | |
We're at the point where really we are going to have to go public | 0:48:44 | 0:48:48 | |
because Jules is having a lot of treatment. | 0:48:48 | 0:48:50 | |
She's been in hospital, two surgeries. | 0:48:50 | 0:48:52 | |
Today, we're in for a consultation. | 0:48:52 | 0:48:55 | |
It's nonstop now. | 0:48:55 | 0:48:56 | |
And I don't think we can keep it quiet for long | 0:48:56 | 0:48:59 | |
before it slips out into the community, and when it goes public, | 0:48:59 | 0:49:03 | |
that's the time we're going to have to say something to the boys so that | 0:49:03 | 0:49:06 | |
they don't pick up on something from a person outside the family. | 0:49:06 | 0:49:11 | |
The end outcome from our team is that | 0:49:13 | 0:49:17 | |
-you will require chemotherapy. -Yes. | 0:49:17 | 0:49:20 | |
You will require radiotherapy. | 0:49:20 | 0:49:23 | |
So you're going to need the full spectrum of treatment. | 0:49:23 | 0:49:26 | |
The full hit. | 0:49:26 | 0:49:27 | |
And what is important is we do all this in a timely fashion | 0:49:27 | 0:49:31 | |
-because there's a certain window of opportunity... -Yeah. | 0:49:31 | 0:49:34 | |
..in which we have to deliver chemotherapy | 0:49:34 | 0:49:36 | |
-to get the maximum benefit. -Yeah. -OK? | 0:49:36 | 0:49:40 | |
I agonised over whether I should even bother going public. | 0:49:47 | 0:49:51 | |
I think really I'd have preferred to just... | 0:49:51 | 0:49:53 | |
told everybody next year once I'd got through it. | 0:49:53 | 0:49:56 | |
But I think once I knew that I was going to have to have chemotherapy, | 0:49:56 | 0:50:01 | |
it looks like I'm going to lose my hair, | 0:50:01 | 0:50:04 | |
and that we're having to cancel Alarm shows. | 0:50:04 | 0:50:07 | |
It just seemed easier to go public. | 0:50:07 | 0:50:10 | |
I think my main concern was having to go public to the boys. | 0:50:10 | 0:50:14 | |
It was a shock, but we just took it really good. | 0:50:16 | 0:50:20 | |
The doctors have got it under control, so we don't worry about it. | 0:50:20 | 0:50:25 | |
And it's, like, just a normal life. | 0:50:25 | 0:50:28 | |
The day's finally arrived, | 0:50:31 | 0:50:33 | |
the day that I've probably been dreading from | 0:50:33 | 0:50:36 | |
the moment I found the lump. | 0:50:36 | 0:50:38 | |
I start my first chemotherapy session. | 0:50:38 | 0:50:41 | |
-It's got a chin strap on it... -Yes. | 0:50:41 | 0:50:43 | |
-So you actually look in the end like you're riding a horse. -Yeah. | 0:50:43 | 0:50:47 | |
I'm going to start off with a cold cap | 0:50:47 | 0:50:49 | |
and it's an ice-cold cap treatment, which I'm more than happy to take. | 0:50:49 | 0:50:54 | |
Apparently, it's painful for about eight or nine minutes | 0:50:54 | 0:50:56 | |
and it's very, very cold. | 0:50:56 | 0:50:58 | |
This will shut me up! | 0:50:58 | 0:51:00 | |
But there is a chance that it can conserve your hair, | 0:51:00 | 0:51:03 | |
although I think, being honest with myself, | 0:51:03 | 0:51:05 | |
I think it's unlikely that I'll be able to save my hair. | 0:51:05 | 0:51:08 | |
Now, this treatment doesn't come in a bag, it comes in syringes. | 0:51:10 | 0:51:12 | |
-Right. -Like this. So I just put in... | 0:51:12 | 0:51:15 | |
Just nice and gently, and in it goes. | 0:51:15 | 0:51:18 | |
-You all right, love? -Yeah. -Smashing. You're doing great. | 0:51:19 | 0:51:22 | |
Absolutely great. | 0:51:22 | 0:51:24 | |
I'm a little bit taken aback and upset | 0:51:24 | 0:51:26 | |
that it's going to be such a long process. | 0:51:26 | 0:51:28 | |
At the same time, | 0:51:28 | 0:51:30 | |
it's eradicating every single little millimetre of cancer | 0:51:30 | 0:51:34 | |
that may be left. | 0:51:34 | 0:51:36 | |
I think the chemo has been tough for Jules, | 0:51:36 | 0:51:39 | |
but she's got through it with real, real determination. | 0:51:39 | 0:51:43 | |
It was very important to her, I think, not to lose her hair | 0:51:43 | 0:51:46 | |
and wearing that cap, the cold cap, | 0:51:46 | 0:51:48 | |
I think, has been very important to her. | 0:51:48 | 0:51:50 | |
And she's been very determined, | 0:51:50 | 0:51:51 | |
despite the challenges of wearing it, | 0:51:51 | 0:51:53 | |
to keep it on, so that she didn't lose her hair. | 0:51:53 | 0:51:56 | |
I never thought I'd be on a journey | 0:52:02 | 0:52:03 | |
going to a hairdresser's in Manchester to sort my wig out. | 0:52:03 | 0:52:07 | |
Never in a million years. | 0:52:07 | 0:52:09 | |
-Hello. How are you? -Hi. How are you? -I'm good. Are you? -Yeah. | 0:52:09 | 0:52:14 | |
I had to do the wig to start going through the process, | 0:52:14 | 0:52:16 | |
so this week is going to be a really... | 0:52:16 | 0:52:19 | |
I'm going to Paris on Sunday | 0:52:19 | 0:52:20 | |
and it's going to be a really strange countdown. | 0:52:20 | 0:52:23 | |
It's like, is it my last week with hair for a good six months? | 0:52:23 | 0:52:28 | |
-Who knows? -Here's one I fed earlier, girls. | 0:52:28 | 0:52:30 | |
-Don't pull it off. -Gorgeous. | 0:52:34 | 0:52:36 | |
Two years ago, in Melbourne, Australia, | 0:52:46 | 0:52:49 | |
I introduced myself to you as Mike Peters, | 0:52:49 | 0:52:52 | |
co-founder of the Love Hope Strength Foundation, | 0:52:52 | 0:52:55 | |
lead singer of Welsh rock band The Alarm | 0:52:55 | 0:52:58 | |
and a two-times cancer survivor. | 0:52:58 | 0:53:01 | |
I was quoted then as saying that, | 0:53:01 | 0:53:04 | |
"As a leukaemia patient, I never saw cancer coming. | 0:53:04 | 0:53:08 | |
"But then again, cancer never saw me coming either." | 0:53:08 | 0:53:12 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:53:12 | 0:53:15 | |
Well, I tell you what, | 0:53:15 | 0:53:17 | |
if cancer never saw me coming, | 0:53:17 | 0:53:20 | |
then it certainly isn't going to be prepared for | 0:53:20 | 0:53:24 | |
the force of nature that is my wife Jules. | 0:53:24 | 0:53:28 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:53:28 | 0:53:30 | |
It has been such a battle for me to stay strong, | 0:53:44 | 0:53:46 | |
I felt really upset. | 0:53:46 | 0:53:49 | |
I just feel thin all over. | 0:53:49 | 0:53:51 | |
My hair's thinning, I'm thinning. | 0:53:51 | 0:53:54 | |
I've woken up every morning and I have to de-tangle my hair | 0:53:54 | 0:53:58 | |
and it is just...pouring out of me. | 0:53:58 | 0:54:02 | |
The hair loss, it's really attacked at the heart of who Jules is. | 0:54:03 | 0:54:08 | |
The damage that cancer is doing, | 0:54:08 | 0:54:11 | |
it's visibly represented in that hair loss. | 0:54:11 | 0:54:14 | |
We are very proud because they never, like, | 0:54:16 | 0:54:20 | |
give up something they've started. | 0:54:20 | 0:54:22 | |
And that's a good way to live your life, and you only live once. | 0:54:22 | 0:54:27 | |
So, today, I'm on the next part of my journey. | 0:54:36 | 0:54:39 | |
I've finished my chemotherapy | 0:54:39 | 0:54:41 | |
and I've just started on my radiotherapy course. | 0:54:41 | 0:54:44 | |
I've got 20 days, Monday to Friday, | 0:54:44 | 0:54:48 | |
and I've decided to keep up the positivity | 0:54:48 | 0:54:52 | |
that I'm going to walk here everyday and walk home, | 0:54:52 | 0:54:56 | |
so it's ten miles a day. | 0:54:56 | 0:54:57 | |
But I'm quite excited to be here. | 0:54:59 | 0:55:01 | |
I've survived the chemotherapy, if you like, and it was... | 0:55:01 | 0:55:07 | |
a difficult journey on many levels, | 0:55:07 | 0:55:09 | |
'but I just feel so relieved and happy to have finished it, | 0:55:09 | 0:55:12 | |
'and I just feel more excited about radiotherapy. | 0:55:12 | 0:55:15 | |
'I feel like I'll be able to cope with that quite well, | 0:55:15 | 0:55:17 | |
'so we shall see.' | 0:55:17 | 0:55:19 | |
When I wake up in the morning and I've got my hairnet on, | 0:55:24 | 0:55:26 | |
I have got a breast that's got a massive scar. | 0:55:26 | 0:55:29 | |
I haven't got a nipple, you know. A bald patch... | 0:55:29 | 0:55:32 | |
I mean, I've got a massive journey ahead of me. | 0:55:32 | 0:55:35 | |
I cannot believe I'm going through it, but I am going to be fine. | 0:55:35 | 0:55:38 | |
I can see all the positives. | 0:55:38 | 0:55:40 | |
I will never get down about my hair not looking great. | 0:55:40 | 0:55:44 | |
I'm going to have an uplift. | 0:55:44 | 0:55:46 | |
I'm going to look bloody great by the... | 0:55:46 | 0:55:47 | |
I'm 50 next year. | 0:55:47 | 0:55:49 | |
It's all about celebration. | 0:55:49 | 0:55:51 | |
We've got so little time and there's such a lot to do. | 0:55:51 | 0:55:54 | |
I just enjoy lying and thinking about - reflecting, really, | 0:55:56 | 0:55:59 | |
on my whole journey. | 0:55:59 | 0:56:01 | |
So there's no pain, nothing to be afraid of, | 0:56:01 | 0:56:05 | |
it's just... | 0:56:05 | 0:56:07 | |
We are lucky to have this facility here | 0:56:07 | 0:56:09 | |
and to get rid of cancer once and for all. | 0:56:09 | 0:56:12 | |
So, it's all positive, all good. | 0:56:12 | 0:56:15 | |
You can sit up there, when you're ready, Julie, if you want to. | 0:56:15 | 0:56:18 | |
Too relaxed. | 0:56:18 | 0:56:19 | |
I don't. I want to stay! | 0:56:19 | 0:56:21 | |
Go on, go! | 0:56:21 | 0:56:24 | |
-See you tomorrow, girls. -Yeah, see you tomorrow. | 0:56:24 | 0:56:27 | |
The Gathering is the key moment for Mike's fan base every year. | 0:56:44 | 0:56:49 | |
It takes place in North Wales | 0:56:49 | 0:56:51 | |
and it's a moment when fans of Mike from all over the world | 0:56:51 | 0:56:54 | |
come together to celebrate him and his music. | 0:56:54 | 0:56:58 | |
You could sense it was going to be special long before it happened | 0:56:58 | 0:57:02 | |
and it was a very victorious ending to a difficult period. | 0:57:02 | 0:57:06 | |
20 years ago, at Gathering 5, I announced to the world that... | 0:57:06 | 0:57:11 | |
..I was engaged in a struggle with cancer, | 0:57:12 | 0:57:15 | |
and that fight has continued ever since, now in its 21st year. | 0:57:15 | 0:57:19 | |
At first, I was fighting alone, but in my house right now, | 0:57:19 | 0:57:23 | |
it's fighting on two fronts, with me and Jules, my wife, | 0:57:23 | 0:57:27 | |
who is my heroine... | 0:57:27 | 0:57:28 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:57:28 | 0:57:32 | |
We're here to keep each other alive, | 0:57:32 | 0:57:34 | |
we're fighting the same battle alone and together | 0:57:34 | 0:57:37 | |
for all this time. | 0:57:37 | 0:57:38 | |
This is called Time. | 0:57:41 | 0:57:44 | |
# I give you everything | 0:57:44 | 0:57:46 | |
# Everything you see | 0:57:48 | 0:57:51 | |
# All that I have | 0:57:53 | 0:57:55 | |
# Everything you need | 0:57:57 | 0:57:59 | |
# This bond can never be broken... # | 0:58:01 | 0:58:04 | |
Let me hear you sing! | 0:58:04 | 0:58:06 | |
# Tonight... # | 0:58:06 | 0:58:10 | |
'Time is me looking at my children, looking at my wife Jules, | 0:58:10 | 0:58:14 | |
'looking at my own life | 0:58:14 | 0:58:15 | |
'and hoping that I've made the most of what I've been given.' | 0:58:15 | 0:58:21 | |
# All we've got | 0:58:21 | 0:58:22 | |
# All we've got is time | 0:58:24 | 0:58:28 | |
# This is your life | 0:58:29 | 0:58:31 | |
# These are your days | 0:58:33 | 0:58:36 | |
# So take them and run | 0:58:38 | 0:58:42 | |
# While you can | 0:58:42 | 0:58:44 | |
# This is your life | 0:58:47 | 0:58:49 | |
# These are your days | 0:58:51 | 0:58:55 | |
# So make them the best | 0:58:56 | 0:59:00 | |
# You can | 0:59:00 | 0:59:03 | |
# It's your life... # | 0:59:03 | 0:59:06 |