Richard and Jaco: Life with Autism

I'm Richard Mylan, and this is my son Jaco.

# The lights are off

# The gates are closed

# Market over, market shut, market closed. #

We visit Cardiff Market as often as we can

to see it close at five o'clock.

Hey, look, there's the bell.

We've been over 500 times.

When we first came here, like, the security guards, they used to,

you know, give us that kind of odd look, like,

-"What the hell are they finding so interesting?"

-Hello, bell.

I think they thought at first that we were, like,

scoping the place out

to, like, do it over.

HE LAUGHS

Jaco has autism, a neurological condition

that makes him see, feel and hear the world

differently to most people.

There she is. Here we go!

He loves order and repetition.

BELL CHIMES

Whoa!

And he films his life and watches it over and over,

to help him make sense of a confusing world.

-Are all these shut?

-Yeah, they've shut.

-Shut, shut.

-He's in his element now.

-Lights off!

Here we go! She's closing the gates.

There they go.

And we'll jump out. And there's me going out.

When he's come here and he's seen it all happen,

and it's all closed, it's like he can go home happy then, you know?

It settles him down.

-Bye-bye, market.

-Bye-bye, market.

See you again soon.

-Bye-bye, market.

-Bye, market.

-Bye-bye.

-Bye-bye.

Jaco is 11 now, and he loves life. Where are they, man?

On the hill...

He also loves wind farms...

..rugby...

..and washing machines.

Nee-naw, nee-naw, nee-naw...

When they told me he was autistic, I was terrified.

Sometimes, I still am,

mainly about his future.

I'm lucky. I'm an actor. And I feel really grateful for my life.

I want Jaco to have the same,

to be fulfilled and independent.

The world isn't set up for people like him.

Will he live without support? Will he ever get a job?

Will he find love?

How will he fit into this world?

So I want to meet people who are a bit like Jaco,

to try to understand what life will be like

for my beautiful boy when he is a man.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Today is Jaco's very, very last day of primary school.

Incredible.

He's come on so much. He's developed massively. Made so many friends.

And now they're all splitting off into different schools.

It's the end of an era for him today.

-Can I film it?

-Yeah.

When I think back to that first day...

He could hardly talk then, you know?

Yeah, it's crazy, isn't it?

Lots of people film important moments in their life,

but if he could, Jaco would literally film everything.

I'm going to miss his sense of humour.

He's a real asset to the class. The children absolutely love him.

He's mischievous, he's full of fun, he's full of happiness.

Sometimes, he does things that, you know, he shouldn't do,

he's a little bit mischievous, and the kids,

they are laughing WITH him, but I'm really aware that, you know,

if he does that when he's in high school,

some of the children will laugh at him.

I'm struggling, actually, to figure out how to deal with that.

But I think he's almost outgrown us now in junior school.

The teachers in high school are armed with different skills

and will be able to see him through his teenage years.

He just seems to be really excited about going to big school,

as he calls it.

Yeah, of course, I'm a little bit apprehensive, but...

..for the most part, I'm looking forward to it.

Jaco, Jaco.

-Did you get People Of The Year, People Of The Term?

-Yeah.

-Is that your cup there?

-Yeah, because I'm the winner.

-You are a winner.

-Yeah, I'm a winner.

SEAGULLS CRY

It's estimated that 1 in 100 of us are on the autistic spectrum.

No-one really knows what causes it.

And there is no cure.

There is no such thing as typical autism.

You could be high or low functioning,

extremely shy or really outgoing.

No two people are ever the same.

Nice, this cereal's lovely.

I just open it up.

And...and then put my videos on.

The thing that unites people on the spectrum

is they seem to relate to the world differently.

If I let him, he'd easily sit

and watch the same clip for hours on end.

That's...that's the drama club.

-SOMETHING BANGS

-Whoa!

Here he comes.

-Good morning.

-Morning.

-Dad, wh-what shall we talk about?

-Did you sleep well?

-Yeah, yes. Did you as well?

Yeah, yeah, I slept well.

Jaco's autism can mean ordinary noises are painful...

-Oops!

-..and overwhelming.

I just put my headphones on because Dad is...

too noisy.

He also finds the unpredictability of life difficult.

But every day, he amazes me.

How he still wants to take part and do all the things other kids do,

even if he finds something really hard.

-Let's have a look over here.

-Yeah, let's look over here.

-There's a buzzy bee.

-No.

-It's not going to hurt you.

HE BREATHES DEEPLY

-Try to relax.

-Yeah.

-It's fine.

-Yeah.

-Don't worry.

-We go down here.

-Yeah. Hold my hand?

-It's fine.

-Yes, don't worry.

-Dad, don't worry.

-Nothing is going to hurt you.

It's getting pollen, see?

And there's nothing to worry about cos they're so busy,

that's why they call them busy bees.

You are always, always looking, aren't you?

So you are always looking for where the flies are,

where the buzzy bees are. And you are tense, aren't you?

Yes, I'm tense....

You're not relaxed, you're quite tense, aren't you?

Yeah, quite tense because...because I'm worried about things.

Yeah, what are you worried about?

Worried about the flies and the butterflies and the ladybirds

and the buzzy bees.

Yeah. It's a lot to worry about, isn't it?

Jaco started wearing noise-cancelling headphones

two years ago, and the change in him is incredible.

He can cope so much more with everyday noises,

but I worry that it cuts him off from the world.

Do you want to take those headphones off now we're out here?

So we can talk properly?

Let's have a listen to what we can hear.

-What can you hear?

-Can you hear the police car?

-Yeah, what else?

-Hear the birds.

Hear the... Hear the... Hear the aeroplane.

That's the bikes.

BELL RINGS

And we're just going to walk around,

and then we are going back in the car in a minute.

Jaco has something called echolalia,

where he repeats what he's heard.

-Yeah, just relax.

-It's all good.

-It's all good.

-See?

-See?

It's a normal stage in how babies learn to talk.

But, at 11, Jaco is still processing language.

The people, like, his teachers and myself, when we talk...

..he's constantly repeating us.

I think it's about order and pattern, so he hears something...

Yeah, that kind of compulsion to...

It's a need for order, isn't it?

-Can we go back in the car?

-Yeah.

Yeah.

-Mam.

-Yeah?

-Mummy!

-Mam. Mam.

Since Jaco was four,

he's split his time living between my house and Catrin, his mum's.

That's the hand-dryer. There it is.

She's putting it on now.

-Ready?

-Ready.

HAND-DRYER WHIRS

Whoa!

-And mine as well? And mine?

-OK.

He's had such a thing about the hand-dryer, for years and years.

Like, scared of them, but then wanting to put them on,

wanting to film them.

You know, it's been a huge thing for him whenever we go out anywhere.

So we thought, "Why don't we just have one in the toilet

"and maybe it'll help him, you know,

"get used to them and not be so scared of them."

-Isn't it?

-Yeah, isn't it?

-Do you think it's a good idea that we got a hand-dryer?

-Yeah.

You're not going to play it all the time, though, are you?

-You're not going to put your hand under it all the time.

-OK.

HANDDRYER WHIRS

I'm just worried that he's going to spend his whole time...

Because another thing that's going to go in there

is the washing machine

which is another thing that, you know, he loves.

So I think that will be his favourite room in the house

with the hand-dryer and the washing machine.

Jaco, wheeee!

-Yeah?

-Jaco, wheeee!

I think Miriam is really good for him.

It's brought him out of himself.

You know, she kind of surprises him.

You know, you can't tell what she's going to do

so that's why the headphones have really kicked in

because of the noise. She's really noisy.

-The Tombliboos.

-Yes, the Tombliboos.

He is really sweet with her, and, you know,

we'll do stuff like that, but if you leave them alone,

you can hear him kind of trying to tempt her to do something naughty

or, you know, he's not an angel.

He does wind her up as well.

Uh-oh!

-Yeah, we laugh, don't we?

-You're funny, you, aren't you?

-I'm funny.

Yeah, you are.

THEY LAUGH

Can we go feed the birds?

-OK.

-Stand up, then.

SHE LAUGHS

Stand up.

-OK. Yeah, we'll stand up.

-I'm standing up.

-I'm standing up.

Oh, wow!

-Oh, uh-oh.

-Uh-oh.

-Oh, my God!

WINGS FLAP

Uh-uh-uh!

Wow!

Oh, my God!

-INTERVIEWER:

-Do you think much about his future?

Sometimes it scares me to think about it, and, you know,

who knows what he's going to be like when he's 15?

I do wonder, is he going to be able to live independently or,

you know...

So I'm just trying not to think too much about it.

And just see how he develops in the next five years,

and when he hits, like, 14, 15, I'll have to start thinking about it

and, you know, making provisions.

At the moment, I'm just trying to enjoy him, really.

He could develop, you know, he could not develop,

or he could develop a lot more in the next five years, so...

I'm just trying not to panic about it, really.

Which is not like me,

cos I worry and panic about everything,

but with him, I'm trying not to.

-Do your pigeon face for us.

-Do your pigeon impression.

He's always had a thing for pigeons.

That's when I first noticed

that there was something different about him,

because whenever he was around pigeons,

he used to get really excited and just hit his face like this.

And that was the first time

I ever noticed that it was with pigeons.

So it's weird that he still loves them.

TRANSLATION:

Clever boy.

Say Mum.

-Mam.

-Say Dad.

Dad.

I was aware, deep down,

that there might be something wrong with him.

I was away on a job, I was filming up in Yorkshire,

and I came through the door and he was in a high chair.

So I got my camera out, and I went to take a picture of him

and he went like that...

He put his fingers in his ears.

And I put the camera down, he took his fingers out.

I put the camera up again. He did that.

And then when the flash went off,

he went like that.

And that was the first time I noticed...

..something wasn't quite right, you know?

I can't actually remember, at any point,

anyone saying it could be autism.

Maybe I blocked it out, I don't know,

but I can't seem to remember...

..when the word autism was said to me. I really can't.

Jaco's first day of high school has finally come.

The local authority have laid on a taxi for him and another child.

So pick up Jaco and pick up another child

and take him to his first day of school.

So I'm going to be like stalker Dad. And follow the taxi.

I worry about wrapping him up in cotton wool too much.

But I think that's different to being overprotective. Is it?

Jaco is going to a mainstream

Welsh-speaking school, Ysgol Glantaf.

This looks like a good place.

I can see down there.

I'm like a kind of rubbish spy.

HE LAUGHS

I've always wanted him to be part of the real world as much as possible.

He'll join mixed ability classes,

but have support from the specialist resource base.

TRANSLATION:

THEY SING IN WELSH

Jaco is bilingual. I've always felt it's important for him.

It's given him a sense of identity,

and helps him fit in with the world around him.

-INTERVIEWER:

-So where are we, Jaco?

That's... That's me in my big school.

To look in my friends...

And there's all my new friends.

I love them. Because they're great, aren't they?

Yeah.

And now it's time to go to classroom.

Miss said we are going to classroom.

Today is his first day.

His first day in uniform, his first day following a timetable.

First day of being with part of the sort of hurly-burly of the school.

Hello, new teachers.

They're very dependent, at the moment,

on somebody telling them where to go.

We integrate the children into a real-life school

because what we want them to do is to see how well they cope

in a situation where they are with other children, cos we want them

to be part of the school, we want them to feel a part of the school.

We aim for him to be as independent as possible,

so that he can make friends,

take part in things going on in the school,

and just to get on with it, really,

cos that's what life is about, really.

HE SINGS

He's down by the Astroturf. He's releasing a bit of energy.

He's fine.

Ticky-ticky-ticky...

JACO LAUGHS

I just remember lots of appointments and lots of tests.

Lots of cognitive tests.

I just remember the whole thing. It just made me angry.

You just want your child to be normal.

The first thing that you do is you blame yourself.

You think, "Have I done something?"

Right down to the formula that you've used,

or the food that you feed your child with.

Yeah, I found it difficult to talk about.

And then, when I did talk about it, when I did open up,

people didn't really understand.

Especially my friends, you know.

My male friends.

Men are crap in situations like that. You know?

"You'll be all right, boy." You know?

I remember there was a kind of a moment where I was, like,

"I've got to learn about this world."

I just remember kind of starting to soak it all up,

and I got past that period of feeling sorry for myself,

and I've not looked back from that.

'I have so many questions about Jaco's autism,

'I have read everything I can get my hands on,

'but I still wonder what it would be like to be in Jaco's head.'

Thank you all for coming,

it is a real honour for me to be speaking for you all today.

And as Henry VIII said to his wife, "I won't keep you for long."

'I came across Alex Lowery online.

'He struggled with speech from an early age,

'but now makes a living talking about autism.'

Hello, my name is Alexander Lowery and I have autism.

I was diagnosed when I was four years old.

My earliest memory is of when I was three years old.

I was in a world that was a terrifying place

with noises so loud you had to hold your ears to face them.

Going into shops was one of the worst torments

you could have on this earth.

And I'm passionate about raising people's understanding

and increasing awareness of autistic spectrum conditions.

-Alex.

-Hello.

-Hiya. Richard.

-Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, Alex. You all right?

-Yeah, you?

-Yeah, good, good.

'Alex lives at home in Holywell with his mum, dad and two siblings.

It's nice to get into the warm, it's pretty cold out there.

-Yeah.

-Hello.

-Hi. Nice to meet you.

-You are?

-Sylvia.

-Sylvia. You're Mum, yeah?

-Yeah, Mum, yeah.

-Nice to meet you.

-Yeah, nice to meet you too. Yeah.

What often comes with being on the autistic spectrum

is having particular interests, things that you fixate on

and one of them in my case is autism.

I could talk about it for a really long time,

so just getting the opportunity to talk about autism

and, you know, getting to say...

Getting everything I want said to be said, if that makes any sense.

Yeah, no, it makes perfect sense.

That's quite rewarding, I would say.

One of Alex's YouTube videos is about self-stimulatory behaviour

or stimming for short.

He keeps rocking back and forth and clapping his hands.

I don't think he's all there.

Jaco has always stimmed too,

he taps his face and clicks bottle tops.

Alex is more physical and uses his whole body.

Yes, I've broken things several times.

-I've broken things several times, just because I'm...

-Have you?

I don't know, like, at what...

Like, you know, I don't have the control,

if you know what I mean?

And, actually, Alex doesn't need an exercise class,

he keeps himself fit.

He keeps himself fit, yeah. THEY LAUGH

OK, does it make you feel good?

Yeah, I'd say so, and when I'm in...

when I'm in those... when I'm doing it, yes.

Alex feels really passionate about raising awareness of stimming

and he feels that people...

You know, that really it's not even a disability,

the only problem with stimming is society doesn't accept it.

And, you know, Alex has had people, you know, when he has stimmed

in the past, he's had people thinking he was having a fit.

Sometimes I might be doing the odd twitch where I stim

and I'm not even noticing it and someone will say,

"Are you cold? You shivered." And I think, "No, no, I wasn't."

That just shows that even subtle ones people pick up on.

I think of you take stimming away,

-it's like taking away an operating system.

-Yeah.

And Alex used to use that little string called Freddie

and he used to say, "It's my power."

This is my power, it gives me power for my brain.

Basically, it almost is a way of charging my brain up,

-if you know what I mean.

-Right.

If I go on a long time without it, I'm, like,

my thirst for it gets stronger and stronger.

And we all stim. We all do little things.

-I play with my hair or you rock...

-Yeah, I do this, lots.

Yeah, or even, I don't know,

do you ever sit there and count things,

like, count all those things, you know,

in your head sometimes when you're bored.

So that's something that we need to...

-We need society...

-We need to accept it.

-Yeah.

Do you remember being diagnosed then,

-if you can remember that far back?

-No, no.

I basically just viewed the world as a very confusing place

which I didn't understand at all

and it didn't help that I couldn't really...

I struggled with my language too,

but I thought I was speaking just like everybody else,

but no-one seemed to understand what I was saying.

Alex's language started to come at age, you know, five,

but it was... There was still a lot of problems

and he would go, "But, but, but, but..."

and then he would get on the floor and have a meltdown

with frustration, he was self-harming,

he was attacking us, he was attacking siblings,

he was obviously in a terrifying world and it was absolutely awful.

All I could see in that blackness was Alex as a 15-year-old

and I was terrified of not being able to look after him, you know.

And then you start to see, as time goes on, and particularly

if you allow, you know, I allowed Alex to follow the interests,

the things he's good at, instead of worrying about

focusing on the things that he struggles with.

I admired Alex and Sylvia's positive outlook.

It's so easy to fall down a black hole of worrying about

things your kid can't do.

I absolutely loathe discos entirely.

Alex has come a long way since being a four-year-old who couldn't talk.

THEY SPEAK WELSH

THEY SPEAK WELSH

Jaco's been at school for six weeks now,

I'm keen to find out how he's getting on

and his teacher's take on how he's developing.

So, how is he getting on?

Oh, he's doing really well, really pleased with him.

He does know his way around for the main places,

he knows his way to the canteen, he knows his way out to the yard,

he knows his way in from the yard.

He's usually last coming off the yard,

but he does talk to the seagulls,

cos the seagulls around here, as soon as they hear the bell,

they know to come and pick up whatever's been dropped,

sandwiches and stuff, so he talks to the seagulls nearly every day.

Does he? What kind of conversations does he have?

He has chats about one of them being the mummy

and one being the daddy

and they're coming to have sandwiches.

And he's... I don't know if he's half afraid, but half likes them,

but he's talking it through and he's getting himself through,

-it's quite interesting, actually.

-Right.

Now we're getting to know him really well, I think,

-and he's settled in really well, he's very popular.

-Yeah?

How is he getting on with integrating here?

Because obviously it's a much bigger school.

He's, again, he's coping really well.

Some of the lessons, I mean, the drama lessons,

he's more confident and more keen to get up in front of others

and some of them are really quite nervous

about standing up in front of people and performing.

No problem at all. He's quite happy to do that.

He really enjoys the music lessons as well.

PE, he's taking part.

There's nothing really,

he hasn't stood out as particularly different.

A couple of children have asked why he wears headphones

and we've explained it's because things are a bit

-too noisy sometimes, not always and they go, "OK."

-Right.

So, a few people have enquired,

but there hasn't been any kind of animosity

or anything strange at all. He's just kind of slipped in,

slipped into life, really.

That's great.

-It's great that he's getting on so well.

-Yeah.

Jaco's settling in so well at school,

taking it all in his stride.

But I still worry about

what the future holds when he leaves.

'I've always had reservations about special schools,

'I don't like the idea of separating kids,

'because they have different needs,

'but I've heard about one right on my doorstep in Penarth

'that sounds interesting.'

-Hello.

-Hi, Richard, I'm Ben.

-Hi, Ben. Richard, nice to meet you.

-What's your name?

-I'm Jamie.

-Jamie, nice to meet you.

-Would you like to go on a tour?

-Yeah, I'd love to go on a tour.

-OK, follow us.

-Cool.

Ysgol Y Deri takes kids from three to 19 years old.

Almost half of its students have autism.

-Where you can do...

-Arts, crafts...

-What's your name?

-This is...?

-Richard, my name is Richard.

Richard. This is Richard?

Yes, I'm Richard. Nice to meet you.

So, arts and crafts in here, yeah?

How long have you been here?

Well, I've been here for about three years.

I wasn't diagnosed with my autism until I was 11 years old,

so, when I went to junior school,

all the way through I was bullied and then I was transferred over

to high school.

When I had my first six months there,

I had my arm broken by another student.

Then I got moved on to private school,

got asked to leave there.

I moved over here and I've been here ever since.

-Wow. You've been through a lot.

-Yeah.

I was kicked out of school, so...

How come you were kicked out of school?

-Naughty.

-Naughty?

-I got bullied as well.

-Did you?

-Absolutely hated it.

But since I've been here, I've had loads of friends.

-Friends with the teachers as well.

-Yeah? Are the teachers nice?

-Yeah.

The school has 256 students, with a range of disabilities.

-So, this is the flat.

-Yes.

So, what's this area like?

This is, like, the living room area where you can learn

about social interactions.

-It's like a proper little crib, isn't it?

-Yeah, yeah.

It's amazing in here, it's absolutely superb,

it's like I've learnt so much from this room myself.

Have you? Yeah. What kind of things?

I've learnt to make a cup of tea, I've learned to cook, clean...

What kind of things do you cook in here?

-I make toast.

-I cooked chicken in there once.

-Did you?

-Yeah. Roast chicken.

-A roast chicken?

-Yeah.

It's absolutely lovely in here.

It is really nice in here, isn't it?

It's quite sort of calm in here as well.

Everything that's in here is like your first kind of steps

-towards independence.

-Yes.

-Yeah?

It's been a long journey,

but I feel I'm going to make something of my life.

Yeah? I'm sure you will.

Are you allowed to sort of, you know,

venture out on your own or go to shops or anything?

-I've got no sense of danger, so...

-You don't?

I've got to be out with an adult.

He can come out with me

and I can teach him about the dangers of the road.

Cos learning things from an autistic's point of view

makes it so much easier for that other autistic person to learn.

Right.

We understand where everyone's coming from in this school.

That makes sense, I mean, obviously,

kind of unique individuals can understand each other better.

It's a massive school, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-I think it's too big. I'm out of breath just walking up here.

Wow, it's like a proper little salon.

-Hello. There's a nail bar going on here.

-Yeah.

-After you, Rich.

-Thank you very much.

-So, have you enjoyed your tour of the school so far?

-I'm loving it.

I'm loving it.

Class sizes are much smaller than regular schools

and the curriculum focuses on life skills

as much as academic achievement.

So, this is our careers corner.

-This is the careers corner.

-This is the careers corner, yes.

And I think part of our sessions here are about kind of

managing hopes, dreams and expectations

and, you know, what's realistic for jobs.

That can be tricky, I guess. So how do you do that?

We have placements in school, but also when they get to sixth form,

they'll go out on an external placement.

Then it's trying to just show them what's realistic, really

Most of the students do want to kind of end up working or...?

Yeah, I think the majority have all kind of got a plan for the future,

most of them do want to go out to work, the majority will want

to go to college first and develop their skills there.

They've all got the capability to go on and learn further,

so we try and encourage that before employment.

-So, this is the playground.

-It's pretty foggy out here today.

Do you think that all children with special needs

should go to a special needs school?

People who have the same sort of, like, differences as me,

should come to schools like this,

because it's a coping situation,

whereas if they went to a mainstream school,

they wouldn't cope in that situation.

Does this place feel like a safe place to you?

-This school?

-Yeah.

-Do you look forward to coming here?

-I love it.

-Do you?

I love this school.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

Thanks a lot, guys, bye-bye. Bye.

Wow.

That place is amazing.

I have always wanted Jaco to be part of the real world

and to learn about the world around him,

but that is the real world in there, you know?

That wasn't a bubble mentality in there,

they're not being sort of sheltered from the big, bad world,

you know, they're being equipped and they're gaining the tools

to be able to survive and they're doing it

in a really kind of forward-thinking, inclusive way.

Yeah. I don't see that place as a bubble,

I thought I would, but I don't.

I don't. I thought it was really impressive in there.

So, remember?

One, two...

-That's it.

-..three.

-Three, very good.

-One, two...

-Hold in the middle.

..two, three.

Very good. So, why are we doing these jobs?

Because learn to...learn to...

learn to be a bigger me.

Yeah, when you're big, what will happen if you learn all these jobs

and you can do them properly?

Because I'm going to...have my own house.

Yeah, if you learn to do these jobs really, really well,

-one day, you might be able to have your own house...

-Yeah.

..and put your own clothes in the washing machine,

have your own washing machine.

-A black washing machine.

-You want a black one, I know.

-Yeah.

-And you can cook your own food.

-Yeah.

-That would be amazing, wouldn't it?

Yeah.

It means that you can look after yourself and it's really important

for people to be able to look after themselves, yeah?

'I'm thinking about his adult life now, but I learnt a few years back

'that you've got to plan ahead, you've got to think ahead.'

And then we put them...in the... in the washing machine.

Then we put them in the cupboard.

'It takes so long for him to grasp something, but once he does,

'he can do it really well.'

-Into the cupboard.

-Yeah. There we go.

-And we put the washing on.

-Yeah.

I've got to think about his teenage years now

when he's sort of 10, 11, 12.

It's very fast.

It's super-duper fast.

And then, when he's in his mid-teens,

I'll be thinking about his early adult life.

It's slowing down.

'Independence has always been important to me.

'I left home in Swansea at 12 years old to go to dance school.

'I have no idea where Jaco will end up living

'and how much support he will need.

'But there are places that can help provide the stepping stones

'to an independent life.'

Coleg Elidyr, near Llandovery

is the only further education college in Wales to have received

special recognition from the National Autistic Society.

Wow, it's great in here.

This is the least likely classroom you're ever going to see.

The college is independent,

but students that come here are local authority funded.

It takes people up to 25 years old and provides supported accommodation

nearby for when they graduate.

Life skills and learning through craft are a key part

of its philosophy.

-Hello.

-Hello. You're not Ed.

-Ed.

-Oh, this is Ed.

'I'm meeting 21-year-old Ed,

'who's been here for two years, and his mum, Isabel, who is visiting.'

Thank you very much. Nice to meet you, Ed.

Shall we give Richard a tour of the house

and maybe show him where your room is, if you're happy with that?

-Yes.

-That OK?

-Yes.

-Thank you, Ed, thank you very much.

Is this where you eat your food? I'm guessing.

So this is your room. Got it.

-Ta-da!

-Wow, it's a big room.

Is that your exercise bike?

-Yeah.

-Wow.

What was the big bike ride you did last year, Ed, can you remember?

-Last year - Tenby.

-Yeah, Cardiff to Tenby.

-Cardiff to Tenby.

-Cardiff to Tenby?!

-And you cycled...

-100 miles.

You cycled that whole way?

It was a charity ride. Big charity ride in Cardiff.

That's amazing one-leg cycling.

What's this here? Is this your planner, your diary?

What do you do on a Monday?

ICT suite, careers.

-Yeah, careers.

-Careers.

-What do you do on a Tuesday?

Craft, art and design for mosaic in the whole classroom.

And tell Richard where you go on a Wednesday morning,

-because you like that, don't you?

-Co-operative shop.

Yeah. Tell him you work in the Co-operative shop.

-You work... I've been...

-Stacking the shelves.

-Wow.

What's Ed playing? Is he playing solitaire?

Yeah, yeah, solitaire.

He's doing that really quick.

Yeah, he's good at it. He is good at maths, actually, yeah.

He's got a thing about sort of birthdays.

Ed, do you want to ask Richard his birthday?

What's your birthday, Richard?

-My date of birth or just my...?

-Just your date of birth, yeah.

-24th of November...

-19...?

-'72.

-24th of November 1970...

-Two.

-Two is...

Friday.

Were you born on a Friday?

Possibly, you were.

-That's amazing.

-Just stare and smile.

-That's amazing.

-Yeah.

-What, he can work out the day?

-Yeah, it's some formula.

None of us quite know how he does it, but he usually is right.

He's usually right, you know.

-Ed, that's...

-That's his thing.

-It's his thing.

-That's really very impressive.

-I'm really impressed by that.

-Yes.

-That's really cool.

-Really impressive.

-Yeah.

-Shall we go downstairs for some lunch?

-Yeah.

Yeah, let's do that.

-Hello!

-Hello!

Nice to meet you.

-He just seems, like, really settled.

-Well, he's really settled here.

He is settled.

I never, ever thought that he would be residential away from us, really.

He's a long way from home, and he doesn't have great language,

and he's not great on the telephone, so, actually, it's...

It was a huge leap of trust to have him here.

-You do have to let your kids go, don't you?

-You do.

You have to let them grow up.

You have to let them be independent, especially kids like Ed,

and probably Jaco.

You know, the temptation to, sort of, keep them at home,

and wrap them in cotton wool, and keep time standing still,

when you can't do it, can you?

Knowing he's happy here and he's safe here

has been a really, really big part of it.

He's achieved so much more than we ever thought he would,

and he's still continuing to achieve.

Because I know that my son really, kind of,

responds well to having those kind of responsibilities,

with, you know...

-ED WHINES

-Shh, shh, shh.

-..being able to do things for himself, you know?

Yeah. Oh, absolutely.

-No, he...

-He gets a real kick out of that.

-Yeah, they do.

-They really do. I think it makes a big difference, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

-You love it at Coleg, don't you?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, and your friends, living with your friends?

-Yeah.

What's your favourite lesson?

Er, woodwork.

-Yeah, that's what you told me this morning.

-Woodwork?

-Yeah.

-Woodwork with Lewis, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Do you know...?

Do you remember what you're making in woodwork at the moment?

-Table.

-Wow. Wow.

-They do - they make the most incredible things.

-Yeah.

Can I ask you, have you noticed a difference in him,

and what are those differences since he's been coming here?

He's got much more self-confidence.

He's got much more, um...

He... His language is better.

He is more interactive.

He tries harder to have relationships and friendships.

He's calmer. You know, somehow, he's calmer.

Thank you, Richard.

Thank you.

Thank you for showing me round,

-and thank you for showing me your room and your bike...

-Yes.

-..and thank you for telling me I was born on a Friday.

-Yes.

That's amazing.

It makes me nervous, thinking about Jaco living that far away,

and how he would cope without all of his favourite things in Cardiff -

the market, the train station, and the hustle and bustle.

JACO BLOWS A RASPBERRY

I knew pretty early on that Jaco had an incredible amount of joy

in him, you know? That... That was...

That's always been there.

And that he really loved life, and that all I...

all I needed to do was work out what life on his terms was

and live it with him.

I know that some people look at me and think,

"You're deluded about your son."

You know? I know people have thought that.

# Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba... #

You cannot put a limit on any child,

especially a child with special needs -

you cannot.

Like I always say, it's like... It's...

I'm being led by the hand by my child, not the other way around.

All right, once you get your head around that, you start to think,

"My child is just wired differently, and that's, like,

"an incredible journey that I am going to go on with him,

"to work all that out with him."

'Like all kids, Jaco talks about what job he wants to do

'when he grows up -

'at the moment, it's ringing the bell in Cardiff Market -

'but only a third of people with autism are in employment.

'There's a new project called Engage To Change

'that's helping 1,000 young people in Wales with learning disabilities

'and autism into work.'

-Hello.

-Rick, hello.

-Are you Gerraint?

-I am.

-Richard. So, this is where you work, yeah?

-It is, yeah.

Do you want to come up and have a look?

-Are you going to show me around?

-Yeah, come on, then.

-Yeah, cool.

'Gerraint is working at Cardiff-based charity

'Learning Disability Wales.'

This is my desk.

Right.

-Hiya, everyone. Hi.

-Hi.

-Hello.

-Hi.

So, are you always here? Are you always sat here?

I am, yeah. Yeah, this is where I'm put, to be honest.

What's your official job title here.

My official job title is administrative officer for

the Engage To Change project.

-Administrative officer.

-Officer, yeah.

-That's very official.

-I know. It is very, yeah.

-Do you get...?

Is that, like, a buzz?

-Do you get a buzz out of, like, the job title?

-I do, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. One of my responsibilities for the office is doing the post

for the members of staff.

-It just comes in...

-Yeah.

-Some of these have just got "Learning Disability Wales"...

-Yeah.

..and no staff member.

So, what I do then is have a look.

I pick it up and have a look.

All right, all right...

-Now, because this is a finance thing...

-Yeah?

-..it goes to the finance team.

-Right.

Now, with these, even though it's just to the office,

-you've still got to stamp it.

-Right. STAMP CLICKS

-Did you always want to be an admin officer?

-Yeah.

-Did you?

-I always wanted to be admin.

This admin, believe it or not, is my dream job.

-Really?

-Yeah.

People say, "Oh, my dream job is to win the X Factor

"or Britain's Got Talent or whatever,"

but, with me, admin is my life.

That's how I've always wanted to do admin.

Why admin? What do you love about it?

There's so many different bits involved, so you can go from,

like, doing a letter to a company, you know, for, like,

fundraising or what have you, and the next minute you could be doing

a spreadsheet for an amount of people you've got on a project.

What else do you love about admin?

Phone-calling. I'm a talker. I'm loud.

-I love a phone, as you can tell.

-RICHARD LAUGHS

-PRINTER HUMS

-It's six pages, this action plan.

Right.

It's actually doing something that I love doing

and I want to do until I retire.

So, you want to do this for life?

Oh, God, yeah. Yeah.

It's been... It's been really eventful, being Gerraint's boss.

He's probably the...the smartest person in the office.

He always comes to work in a suit.

He's always got a story to tell.

I sometimes do have to tell him to stop talking so much...

-RICHARD LAUGHS

-..because he likes to chat,

and he likes to banter with his colleagues,

but he really contributes to...

to the relaxed and the happy environment

that we've got in this office.

So, what would you say to, you know, a company that might say,

"Look, you know, why should I employ an adult with autism?

"It would take more time. It would be a drain on resources,

"you know, when I can just hire somebody of, kind of,

"normal cognitive ability. Why? Why would I go down that route?"

What would you say to them?

People with a learning disability or autism generally would have

less sick days in work.

Um...they...

Generally, once they...

If they have the proper support in the workplace,

then they're more likely to stay in the workplace,

and so the turnover...

Your staff turnover would be less.

So, there's a lot of financially viable reasons

that would be good for businesses.

Which of your four viewings is it?

Ah, that.

And then the rest are actions that we have, and have ongoing.

What I am today is because of one thing, and that's autism,

cos, if I didn't have that,

I wouldn't be as special as I am today.

-So you're saying that young people should see it as...

-A positive.

-..a positive, as an opportunity?

-Oh, yeah.

Autism is a very special thing,

and whoever has got it should be proud of it.

Tickets.

Tickets.

I've got my phone.

Money.

And, no...

No, my money...

-You haven't got any money on you, have you?

-No.

Bank of Dad again.

Have you got your phone?

-Yes, I've got my phone in my pocket.

-Yeah?

-Yes.

-Shall we do this?

-Yes, let's do it.

-Yes!

Yes!

Let's go to the match.

'It's Wales versus England at the Principality Stadium - a big day.'

-We don't know who's going to win, do we?

-No.

It's whoever...

Whoever plays the best.

-That's right.

-Yeah.

-That's right.

-There it is!

-There it is!

'From the first time I took him to a stadium to now is a massive leap,

'and I never actually thought that we would be able to do this,

'growing up with him, you know?

'So it's... It's amazing.

'It's great, cos it actually fulfils that, kind of...

CHEERING '..one of the things you want to do

'with your son, and that's to take him to the rugby,

'take him to the football, and...

'There was a time where I wasn't quite sure whether we were

'going to be able to do that, and so it's great that we can.

'It's amazing.'

SINGING

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Yay!

-Yay!

-Wales! Wales!

-Yay! Yay!

CHEERING

Come on!

CHEERING GROWS LOUDER

Come on!

CHEERING, YELLING AND APPLAUSE

And these people who are shouting when I shout, it's just passion.

They're so happy that Wales are doing so much better...

That's what's going on, OK?

It's just passion, remember that.

Sling your hook!

OK? Remember that, OK?

Yeah.

Remember that, OK, buddy?

Wales! Wales!

Listen, do you want to go home, buddy?

-HE SNIFFLES

-No.

OK.

SNIFFLING AND SOBBING

YELLING

WHISTLE BLOWS

Dad, the Wales are going in.

And we're winning 13-8, OK?

Can I have a h-h-hot dog?

Er... Yeah, in a minute.

Yeah, in a minute.

So, if Wales are about to score a try, and I get really passionate

-and I start shouting, are you going to be all right with that?

-Yes.

Are you sure?

Yes, yes, yes, be-because I'll go, "Go on," like that.

-Yeah.

-Are you sure, buddy?

-Yes.

-OK.

CHEERING AND YELLING

-Yes!

-Come on!

Oh, no, that was England.

We're not going to win today, I don't think, boy.

CHEERING

Well, they lost.

Yeah, they lost.

They had a really good first half, but then...

But then they lost.

..the second half wasn't so good.

When he was smaller, I couldn't even laugh.

I couldn't show any kind of emotion, whether it would be laughing,

or being passionate about something...

If I laughed at a friend who was telling me a story,

he would have that kind of reaction that you saw today,

but it happened all the time, and I, kind of,

stopped laughing for about three or four years of my life.

I just didn't laugh. People...

People would come round the house, he'd be in our company,

they'd tell me a funny story and I just wouldn't laugh.

I'd be like, hmm-hmm-hmm.

And it was like...

It must have been...come across so rude, but I, kind of,

conditioned myself, for a time, not to laugh, and it...

You know, it's weird, when I think back on it,

that I didn't laugh for that length of time,

but he's all right with laughing now.

What do you think about Wales losing today?

Because they... Because they lost...

Yeah. Are you happy or sad?

Happy.

RICHARD LAUGHS

Oh, well.

I am certainly not happy.

Huh...

No, I understand that it makes you sad, but...

Yeah.

..you did well to get past it,

-because, you know, we didn't have to come home.

-Yeah.

You got yourself together and then you were happy again,

and that's good that you did that.

'I constantly worry whether I'm doing the right thing as a parent -

'how much should I push Jaco?

'I've spent the last 12 months trying to find answers.

'I'd read about a young autistic man who uses running to help him

'cope with the world.'

Much of my life, I feel like I'm just...

just about surviving, just about scraping through.

'He's about to run 30 marathons in 30 days.

'I've come to meet Shaun and his wife at their home in Merthyr.'

-Shaun, what's happening?

-Hello.

-How are you doing, fella?

-Are you all right?

I'm good, thanks. Nice to meet you again.

Thanks for having me.

When did you start running?

I've always been a runner. I was a 100m sprinter in school.

I was a winger in football and rugby for a while,

so running's always played a part.

So, when were you diagnosed?

I was diagnosed just over a year ago.

-How old are you?

-I'm 31.

Bloody hell.

Yeah, I was confused for a long time.

I, kind of, was on a path of self-help before I even knew

what was wrong, and so I...

The running had come about, and all that, before I had my diagnosis.

That just, kind of...

-SHAUN CLICKS HIS FINGERS

-That was the missing puzzle piece.

-Is this your wedding day?

-Yes, that's on our wedding day.

'Shaun and Sarah have been married for two and a half years.'

So, Sarah, what's it like living with a...

with a serial marathon runner? SARAH LAUGHS

Well, a 30-mile runner?

There's a lot of washing to do.

How are you feeling about the actual run, like? Are you...?

-I'm really excited for him to do it.

-Are you?

Yeah, cos it's something that he's wanted to do for years.

Before you met Sarah, how was...?

How was it? Did you...? Were you, like...?

Were you on your own for a while, then?

I didn't think marriage meant anything - vows were meaningless.

I thought, in modern-day life now,

we don't treat it with the same respect that we would have once,

and just, "What's the point of getting married?"

Had you given up on love?

Yeah, kind of. I...

I've often wondered, you know, can you truly have love?

You know, because I struggled to connect with people

and relate with people,

and I found, like,

a lot of relationships I had were really shallow and meaningless.

Not a lot of women could deal with me.

A lot of women don't want to know a guy who's a grown man

who can't drive, works part-time,

and is having panic attacks and things. I just didn't...

I assumed it wouldn't happen, you know?

And this, kind of, came along by...

Just as it does, doesn't it? It just surprises you.

I mean, one of the first things I told her is,

"Are you sure? Because I am hard work."

I always knew I had issues but I didn't know why.

Like, so I said, "I'm hard work."

It didn't bother me, to be honest.

I just said that everyone's hard work most of the time,

-so we can't all be the same.

-Yeah.

So, I didn't think anything of it, really.

'Four weeks later, and Shaun has run 850 miles

'of the Welsh coastal path.'

There he... There he is. Look.

'I've come to Chepstow Racecourse to see him at the finishing line.'

CHEERING, WHISTLING AND APPLAUSE

Yeah!

Whoo!

'Shaun's running is extraordinary,

'but what I really love about Shaun's story

'is that he found Sarah -

'someone who's accepted him for who he is.'

-Yeah!

-Yes!

Oh... I'm catching you up.

Jaco is the winner again.

You beat me fair and square.

Fair and square...

And...and, Dad, do you...do you love Gareth Bale?

I love Gareth Bale.

He's... He's one of the best players in the world.

And so, and so, and so...and he loves playing football.

He definitely loves playing football.

Then, Dad, well, wh-wh-wh-what should we play next?

Punchball?

'Having a child with autism is sometimes like navigating

'a thick forest without a map or a compass.'

Wind turbine. Oh, oh, it's stopping now...

-We're going down.

-Yeah.

'By spending time with people on the spectrum who are finding

'their way through life, it's shown me a way through.'

They're called wind turbines.

Wind turn-bines?

-Turbines.

-Turbines?

Yeah.

'As a society, we have a long way to go, but I have hope that our

'understanding and acceptance of autism can only get better.'

Now, what should we talk about, then?

We don't have to talk. We don't have to talk.

-You can just look at them.

-Yeah.

'Like any parent, the best I can do

'is surround Jaco with love and support.

'He still surprises me every day, so I have to aim high.

'My expectations have to be limitless.'