Rhod Gilbert: Stand Up to Shyness


Rhod Gilbert: Stand Up to Shyness

Similar Content

Browse content similar to Rhod Gilbert: Stand Up to Shyness. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript


LineFromTo

This programme contains some strong language.

0:00:020:00:07

This is me, Rhod Gilbert, bestriding the stage like a supercool colossus,

0:00:070:00:10

doing something that most people would rather shallow-fry their genitals than try -

0:00:100:00:14

stand-up comedy in front of thousands. Except it's not me.

0:00:140:00:17

Well, it is me, clearly, but it's only one me.

0:00:170:00:20

It's part of me, but not the whole me, if you get my drift.

0:00:200:00:23

Because there's this other me, a me that looms just as large in my life

0:00:230:00:27

but that I've tried to keep hidden from the world,

0:00:270:00:29

from my friends and even my family until now.

0:00:290:00:33

That's right - I am a total loser.

0:00:330:00:36

Disaster, isn't it? Total disaster.

0:00:380:00:40

A gangly streak of socially awkward piss

0:00:400:00:42

who struggles to do the most mundane things like shopping,

0:00:420:00:45

talking to strangers or eating in public.

0:00:450:00:48

I don't know why I can't do it.

0:00:480:00:49

It's something about thinking everyone's looking at you.

0:00:490:00:52

Loser Me can't go to a party on his own, has never chatted up a girl,

0:00:520:00:56

was often too anxious to go to school as a kid

0:00:560:00:58

and once locked himself in a portaloo for an entire weekend

0:00:580:01:01

to avoid meeting new people.

0:01:010:01:02

But now, after a lifetime exiled in Loser Land,

0:01:040:01:07

the 49-year-old me has finally decided it's time to squeeze

0:01:070:01:10

the life-afflicting zit that is shyness.

0:01:100:01:15

-What is it?

-What...?

-What is it?

-What is shyness?

-What is it?

0:01:150:01:18

So, I'm going on one of those quests

0:01:180:01:20

that people you vaguely recognise on TV do...

0:01:200:01:23

Wow, this is hard.

0:01:230:01:25

..to try and get to the root of what causes me

0:01:250:01:27

and 50% of the population at large to feel our lives would be

0:01:270:01:31

a whole lot better without the S word.

0:01:310:01:35

I'm doing a documentary about shyness.

0:01:350:01:36

But the problem is, I'm too shy to go up and talk to anyone.

0:01:360:01:39

I'm going to meet fellow losers...

0:01:390:01:41

If you're someone who has suffered from shyness, as I have,

0:01:410:01:45

you presume that everyone else is confident, don't you?

0:01:450:01:47

Yeah, I meant sufferers.

0:01:470:01:48

And hoping to resolve the central contradiction in my life.

0:01:500:01:53

I'm quite keen to talk to somebody who can tell me

0:01:530:01:55

why I would put "I avoid activities in which

0:01:550:01:58

"I'm the centre of attention," and then my job is...

0:01:580:02:02

..walking out in front of thousands of people

0:02:020:02:04

and trying to make them laugh.

0:02:040:02:06

Ladies and gentlemen, next up, all the way from over there, it's Jodie.

0:02:060:02:10

And - and I'm really worried about this bit - I'm going to put

0:02:100:02:13

three extremely shy guinea pigs through my own unscientific

0:02:130:02:17

and potentially disastrous experiment

0:02:170:02:19

when I get them to face many people's worst nightmare.

0:02:190:02:22

-Go on, Jodie!

-Go on, Jodie!

0:02:220:02:23

-You can do it!

-You can do this, yeah.

0:02:230:02:25

And do as I did, get on stage in front of a live audience

0:02:250:02:29

and try stand-up comedy.

0:02:290:02:32

If it goes wrong and sets them back,

0:02:320:02:35

I'm not going to be able to live with myself.

0:02:350:02:38

My name is Rhod Gilbert and I'm standing up to shyness.

0:02:380:02:42

I've agreed to make a doc about shyness, specifically my own.

0:02:510:02:56

It's day one of the shoot and the crew have asked me

0:02:570:02:59

to do something so far out of my comfort zone

0:02:590:03:02

I'd rather cut off my balls with a pizza wheel.

0:03:020:03:04

I'll need a run-up and a couple of pints of Valium.

0:03:070:03:10

And then I'm going to try walking into...

0:03:110:03:13

..this cafe...

0:03:140:03:16

..going up to the counter...

0:03:170:03:19

..ordering a coffee...

0:03:210:03:22

-Cappuccino with no chocolate.

-Staying in, yeah?

-Staying in.

0:03:220:03:27

..to drink in.

0:03:270:03:29

I'm going to find myself a seat alone...

0:03:300:03:33

..sit down - with my back to the room, obviously,

0:03:340:03:37

I'm not a thrill-seeker -

0:03:370:03:39

and then attempt to drink my drink.

0:03:390:03:42

Sip!

0:03:440:03:46

Mission accomplished.

0:03:460:03:47

Five stars on LoserAdvisor.

0:03:470:03:49

So, this would normally be one of my trigger points.

0:03:510:03:54

I have in the past wandered round the whole day

0:03:540:03:59

looking in at places, getting half in, looking through the window...

0:03:590:04:03

..scoping it out, checking it out and thinking, "Can't do it."

0:04:040:04:07

Can't walk in there, order a coffee, sit down.

0:04:070:04:11

I mean, that, when I say it out loud,

0:04:110:04:13

when I think about it, is completely absurd.

0:04:130:04:15

I don't know why I can't do it.

0:04:180:04:20

I don't know.

0:04:200:04:22

It's something about thinking everyone's looking at you

0:04:220:04:24

or something about...

0:04:240:04:25

I don't know, I need somebody to tell me why I can't do it.

0:04:310:04:34

All I can describe it as is a feeling of incredible

0:04:340:04:36

self-consciousness that you're so aware of...

0:04:360:04:39

I don't know, all I know is I feel watched in some way.

0:04:400:04:45

It's weird.

0:04:470:04:48

Of course, I'd love to change myself.

0:04:500:04:52

It's tedious. Tedious!

0:04:530:04:55

Looking down from my tower of self-loathing,

0:04:570:04:59

I can't help but wonder - am I the only shy kid in town?

0:04:590:05:03

Statistically, there are loads of us,

0:05:030:05:05

so these streets must be a blushing sea of self-doubt.

0:05:050:05:08

But how do you spot them?

0:05:080:05:10

Where do shy-sters hang out?

0:05:100:05:12

I reluctantly agree to give my shy-dar a polish

0:05:120:05:15

and see if I can sniff some out.

0:05:150:05:17

Well, we're on the streets of Cardiff

0:05:170:05:21

and I am going to attempt to get a sense of...

0:05:210:05:24

..how many people are shy

0:05:250:05:27

and how many people aren't shy. It's very unscientific.

0:05:270:05:29

I'm just going to ask people

0:05:290:05:31

if they would identify themselves as a shy person or a not shy person.

0:05:310:05:35

The problem I've got now is that I feel incredibly self-conscious

0:05:350:05:38

because I'm shy.

0:05:380:05:40

The thought of walking up to a person, stopping them

0:05:400:05:43

and saying, "Are you shy?" horrifies me.

0:05:430:05:46

Also, just to make it even harder,

0:05:460:05:48

the production team have given me stickers.

0:05:480:05:50

Shy, not shy, which is very mean.

0:05:500:05:53

It's very, very mean. I don't want to do it.

0:05:530:05:56

And that even knowing that they may know who I am,

0:05:560:05:58

so it kind of makes it OK.

0:05:580:06:00

But I'm still not doing it.

0:06:000:06:02

-CREW MEMBER:

-Talk to them.

0:06:030:06:04

-I can't... I can't go and talk to them.

-Yes, you can.

0:06:040:06:06

I know you're telling me to talk to them, but...

0:06:060:06:08

You're supposed to be invisible, the crew, anyway.

0:06:080:06:10

But I can't just go up to... I can't. I can't, I'm too shy.

0:06:100:06:13

There we are. It's a documentary about shyness

0:06:130:06:15

and I'm too shy to do it.

0:06:150:06:16

And roll the credits.

0:06:160:06:18

Oh, Christ, I feel a tit.

0:06:200:06:22

A disaster, isn't it?

0:06:230:06:25

Total disaster.

0:06:250:06:26

How long are we going to keep this up?

0:06:290:06:31

It's the BBC, there's not even a commercial break we can go to.

0:06:360:06:39

I tell you what, I'm going to...

0:06:390:06:41

I'm going to sit down on that bench and just see if people come over.

0:06:410:06:44

-Hiya, mate. Can I squeeze up there next to you?

-Yeah, of course.

0:06:440:06:47

-Oh, good man. Good man. Are you shy?

-I wouldn't have thought you...

0:06:470:06:50

-I'm shy, yeah.

-Are you?

0:06:500:06:51

Didn't have a girlfriend till I was about 19.

0:06:510:06:54

I nearly married her.

0:06:540:06:55

-Just in case you didn't get another one?

-Yeah.

0:06:580:07:01

-Can I give you a sticker, look?

-Yeah, of course.

0:07:010:07:03

-I'm embarrassed about this.

-No, don't be.

0:07:030:07:05

-This is not me, this.

-I'll have a shy one.

-Shy, will you?

0:07:050:07:09

-Hello, there.

-It's my brother's birthday. He's just over there.

0:07:090:07:11

-Could he have a picture with you?

-It's your brother's birthday?

-Yeah.

0:07:110:07:14

-Oh, is he coming over or is he too shy?

-He's too shy.

0:07:140:07:17

-Is he to... Is he shy, is he?

-Yeah.

-Hiya, mate.

0:07:170:07:20

-Happy birthday.

-Nice to meet you.

0:07:200:07:21

-How are you doing? Are you shy?

-A bit, yeah.

-Are you?

-Yeah.

0:07:210:07:25

-Are you shy?

-Ha-ha, no!

-She's definitely not shy.

0:07:250:07:28

-Have you ever been shy?

-No.

0:07:280:07:30

-That's the old you and then that's the new you.

-I feel I used to be shy

0:07:300:07:33

because I cared too much what other people thought,

0:07:330:07:35

whereas now I'm 30, I just think, like, life's too short.

0:07:350:07:38

-You shy or not, mate?

-I'm not shy, but actually what I do for a living,

0:07:380:07:41

-I'm a confidence coach, so...

-Are you a confidence coach? No way!

0:07:410:07:44

-Yes! Yes, that's what I do.

-No way.

-I used to be shy.

0:07:440:07:46

-I went through depression six years ago.

-Yeah?

0:07:460:07:48

What happened was I started to really reprogram my mind-set,

0:07:480:07:51

my beliefs and I thought, do you know what?

0:07:510:07:52

I don't give a shit what people think about me.

0:07:520:07:54

That's just what this kid was saying, pretty much.

0:07:540:07:56

I mean, he's not a confidence coach, but he was saying

0:07:560:07:58

it's that learning not to give a shit about...

0:07:580:08:00

So much about what people think. Not shy, mate.

0:08:000:08:02

-Would you go to a party on your own?

-No.

0:08:020:08:04

Would you go and sit in a restaurant or a cafe and eat on your own?

0:08:040:08:07

-No.

-You passed the test, mate.

-Cheers.

0:08:070:08:09

When are you shy, then? What situations are you shy in?

0:08:090:08:11

-I don't know. I'm too shy to say!

-Are you?

0:08:110:08:14

She wouldn't do teaching because she was too shy.

0:08:140:08:17

-She wouldn't what?

-She wouldn't be a teacher because she was too shy.

0:08:170:08:20

I'm quiet anyway.

0:08:200:08:21

-You can't get a word in edge ways with these two.

-No, I've noticed.

0:08:210:08:24

Right, you do shut up, now. Right, stick those things over...

0:08:240:08:26

Stick those over your mouth.

0:08:260:08:28

No, I'll put...

0:08:320:08:34

I'll double up on yours.

0:08:340:08:36

Now then, we've shut them up.

0:08:360:08:38

Would you go to a party on your own?

0:08:380:08:40

-No.

-No?

-I don't think anyone would, would they?

0:08:400:08:44

-She would.

-She bloody would.

-If I was already drunk, I would.

0:08:440:08:47

-Yeah, so drink helps?

-Yeah.

0:08:470:08:49

-You just don't care when you're drunk, do you?

-Yeah.

0:08:490:08:51

I'm amazed how willing people are to talk really candidly

0:08:510:08:55

and openly about how shy they've been or how shy they are.

0:08:550:08:58

And most people can tell you really pretty quickly.

0:08:580:09:01

There's lots of people saying that they've grown out of it

0:09:010:09:04

or they've taken steps to get themselves out of it.

0:09:040:09:09

And I think, for me, certainly doing stand-up has really,

0:09:090:09:12

really helped and probably, as I've gone on through life,

0:09:120:09:15

I've become less shy, but it's still there for me.

0:09:150:09:19

I'm not out of the woods.

0:09:190:09:21

I'm definitely not out of the woods.

0:09:210:09:23

And coming here today and hearing people say

0:09:230:09:25

they are out of the woods has made me realise I'm still in there.

0:09:250:09:28

I'm not locked in a portaloo any more, but I'm still in the woods.

0:09:280:09:32

I know what you're thinking.

0:09:320:09:33

You're thinking this is bollocks.

0:09:330:09:35

He's making it up.

0:09:350:09:36

How can someone who does stand up be shy?

0:09:360:09:39

I ask myself that question every day.

0:09:390:09:42

And I've always wondered where it came from.

0:09:420:09:44

Was I born shy?

0:09:440:09:46

Did I inherit it from my parents?

0:09:460:09:48

Was there some traumatic childhood incident I've buried under

0:09:480:09:51

six tonnes of psychological rubble?

0:09:510:09:54

Did I share a shy kid's towel in school?

0:09:540:09:57

Is it an STD?

0:09:570:09:59

Did I get drunk and sleep with a shy person

0:09:590:10:01

who was too shy to tell me they were a carrier?

0:10:010:10:03

I have no idea, and I'm in two minds about wanting to know.

0:10:040:10:08

But all the same,

0:10:080:10:10

like Shylock Holmes, the socially awkward detective,

0:10:100:10:13

I've come to my home town of Carmarthen to look for clues.

0:10:130:10:15

This is my family home and we are in the lounge, in the posh room

0:10:170:10:21

because we're filming.

0:10:210:10:22

Er... My dad's in the other room.

0:10:220:10:24

Don't tell him we're in here.

0:10:240:10:26

It's really striking, looking back through photographs

0:10:260:10:29

that I've never really...

0:10:290:10:30

Well, I don't remember ever seeing these before.

0:10:300:10:32

But, look, that's me on that front lawn out there

0:10:320:10:35

playing bowls with my grandad

0:10:350:10:37

and I've got my hand...

0:10:370:10:39

..in front, blocking the camera.

0:10:400:10:42

This is me in a cafe in France

0:10:450:10:47

and I've got my hand blocking the camera.

0:10:470:10:50

I don't remember being camera shy as a kid.

0:10:500:10:53

I don't remember putting my hand in front of my face

0:10:530:10:55

every time there was a camera near me.

0:10:550:10:57

This is an official school one from primary school.

0:10:570:10:59

I'm facing the camera there, but I think a professional camera person

0:10:590:11:02

would have stopped me if I'd been like that.

0:11:020:11:04

But there's little clues. If you want to look for my shyness

0:11:040:11:06

in my youth, I mean, look at this. This is "My friends in school."

0:11:060:11:10

Firstly, I couldn't even fill a book of eight.

0:11:100:11:12

One of them's me.

0:11:120:11:14

And that's the same person.

0:11:140:11:15

So, my friends consist of me, one blank space, and one bloke twice.

0:11:170:11:22

That is absolutely bonkers.

0:11:220:11:24

I used to refuse to go to school when I was in primary school.

0:11:240:11:27

I used to get this knot in the pit of my stomach and just feel ill

0:11:270:11:30

and I wasn't ill, there was nothing wrong with me medically.

0:11:300:11:33

It was anxiety and I knew that at the time.

0:11:330:11:35

I never spoke to anybody about it.

0:11:350:11:36

I bottled it up completely, I totally hid it.

0:11:360:11:38

I don't even think I told my parents.

0:11:380:11:40

I never sort of broke down in front of them

0:11:400:11:43

and said, "Look, I'm shy, I'm socially anxious."

0:11:430:11:45

I never admitted it to them. I never admitted it to any friends.

0:11:450:11:48

I just bottled it up, hid it and got on with it.

0:11:480:11:51

That's my mum, who passed away last year,

0:11:510:11:54

who I think I blame for my shyness.

0:11:540:11:59

I use the word blame...facetiously,

0:11:590:12:02

but I think it's hereditary to some degree or learned behaviour.

0:12:020:12:05

She passed it on to me. She was incredibly shy and reserved.

0:12:050:12:09

Wanted to be an actor all her life,

0:12:090:12:10

but never did it because she was too shy.

0:12:100:12:13

And my dad is the sort of flamboyant one,

0:12:130:12:15

the kind of clown, the entertainer.

0:12:150:12:17

But I just asked him if he wanted to be on camera and he's like,

0:12:170:12:20

"Absolutely no way." He's too shy.

0:12:200:12:22

"Shyness is hereditary," he said, and walked off.

0:12:220:12:24

So, there you go.

0:12:240:12:26

Can't bloody win with parents, can you?

0:12:260:12:28

But if I put my youth under the microscope,

0:12:280:12:30

most of the time, I was pretty happy chappie.

0:12:300:12:33

Good family, great bunch of mates, shit haircuts, but happy memories.

0:12:330:12:37

# Shyness is nice

0:12:370:12:40

# And shyness can stop you

0:12:400:12:43

# From doing all the things in life you'd like to... #

0:12:430:12:46

Many of my friends are the same ones I've had for over 40 years.

0:12:480:12:51

I still see them all the time,

0:12:510:12:52

but I've tried to keep my shyness from them.

0:12:520:12:55

But they'll definitely have noticed. Won't they?

0:12:550:12:58

Are you surprised I'm doing a documentary about shyness?

0:12:580:13:01

Perhaps you doing a documentary about other people's shyness

0:13:010:13:03

-I'd have understood, but...

-Yeah, that's what I mean.

0:13:030:13:06

Is it a surprise that I'm putting my hand up and going, "I'm shy"?

0:13:060:13:08

You've come out as "I'm a shy person."

0:13:080:13:10

I've come out as a shy person, exactly. Do you know what?

0:13:100:13:13

It does feel a bit like... A bit like that.

0:13:130:13:16

It's quite hard to give examples of your own shyness,

0:13:160:13:18

but one of the classics for me, when I went to university,

0:13:180:13:20

I didn't speak to anybody.

0:13:200:13:22

And then I did a month abroad in Salamanca in Spain, right?

0:13:220:13:24

And I'd booked accommodation, I had digs, I'd paid for my meals

0:13:240:13:27

and instead of going there - I never even checked in -

0:13:270:13:30

I just took my bag and I slept rough in the square in Salamanca

0:13:300:13:33

and every morning...

0:13:330:13:35

Every morning, the bin lorry would come round the square like this

0:13:350:13:38

in circles and it would come in and in and in

0:13:380:13:40

and I worked out that the best place to sleep

0:13:400:13:42

was on the bench in the middle and then I would wash my face in

0:13:420:13:45

the tap at the side of the bin lorry because I was too embarrassed

0:13:450:13:48

to go and go to this accommodation with shared rooms, hostel kind of

0:13:480:13:52

accommodation I guess, you know, and eat meals with people I didn't know.

0:13:520:13:55

I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. But it was...

0:13:550:13:58

Yeah, have you guys got anything like that?

0:13:580:14:00

Any ridiculous stories like that where you just think,

0:14:000:14:03

-"That was shyness"?

-No.

0:14:030:14:05

No, I don't think to that extent, no.

0:14:050:14:07

I think you've set the bar way too high for us there.

0:14:070:14:10

Come in a bit lower and perhaps worked up to the bin lorry story.

0:14:100:14:13

Anyone blushed? Anyone blushed occasionally?

0:14:130:14:16

It's very odd to be speaking about it.

0:14:160:14:17

It does feel like I'm coming out about it. It feels very...

0:14:170:14:21

I feel very vulnerable.

0:14:210:14:22

I sometimes wonder whether I should be doing it at all,

0:14:230:14:26

changing people's perception of me.

0:14:260:14:28

But I think it's starting to feel like it's quite an important thing

0:14:280:14:31

to be talking about, that it's not talked about enough.

0:14:310:14:35

I've known some of those guys for 43 years

0:14:350:14:39

and I've hidden it every single moment until today.

0:14:390:14:42

It's kind of left me really keen to find out more.

0:14:420:14:47

More about myself, but more about shyness.

0:14:470:14:50

And how many other people's lives it's...

0:14:500:14:53

Ruining's a strong word, but having a pretty big impact on.

0:14:530:14:56

Apparently, I'm far from alone with my social anxiety.

0:14:590:15:02

According to psychologists, 50% of us identify as being shy,

0:15:020:15:07

a spectrum that includes the happy introverts as well

0:15:070:15:10

as the desperately unhappy ones,

0:15:100:15:13

that ranges from those who muddle along with sweaty armpits,

0:15:130:15:15

nervous rashes and relentless self-criticism

0:15:150:15:19

to those whose crippling social anxiety

0:15:190:15:21

means they can't even leave the house.

0:15:210:15:23

Some experts say shyness is hereditary.

0:15:240:15:27

Some say it's learned behaviour.

0:15:270:15:29

Some say you can cure it with medication.

0:15:290:15:31

Others offer coping strategies and therapies.

0:15:310:15:33

I think I need an expert to tell me

0:15:350:15:37

what expert advice I should be following.

0:15:370:15:39

So, I head to be Cardiff University School of Social Sciences

0:15:400:15:43

to meet Professor Ray Crozier,

0:15:430:15:45

lecturer and academic, who literally wrote the book on shyness.

0:15:450:15:49

Several books, actually.

0:15:490:15:51

First off, is shyness something you're born with?

0:15:510:15:54

So, there have been some kind of studies that have followed

0:15:540:15:57

children from birth and you can begin to see a kind of shy pattern.

0:15:570:16:01

You bring children of the same age who don't know each other,

0:16:010:16:05

you just let them naturally play together,

0:16:050:16:08

you find some children interact with other children,

0:16:080:16:12

some of them are just happy playing by themselves,

0:16:120:16:15

but some want to play but they're reluctant to.

0:16:150:16:18

So you see them kind of hovering behind the other kids,

0:16:180:16:22

maybe trying to move in, but not carrying it through, really.

0:16:220:16:26

How would you explain somebody like me, who all my life has struggled

0:16:260:16:30

with shyness? For example, when I went off to university,

0:16:300:16:33

I just literally stood in my room looking out the window

0:16:330:16:36

at everybody else going off to the refectory

0:16:360:16:39

or to the cafe, to the bar, to their lectures,

0:16:390:16:42

and I just didn't move from that room.

0:16:420:16:44

-I would have been one of your kids you observed...

-Well, that's right.

0:16:440:16:46

-..who want to participate.

-I was just going to say that.

0:16:460:16:48

Looking through the window, unable to.

0:16:480:16:50

-Unable to, completely unable to.

-That's right.

0:16:500:16:52

So, there might be that kind of history behind this

0:16:520:16:55

because I think if you spoke to lots of beginning students,

0:16:550:16:58

you'd get maybe similar kinds of stories from them.

0:16:580:17:02

They have the anxiety inside, but just got on with things.

0:17:020:17:06

At the time, you know, I went to see my tutors and I said,

0:17:060:17:08

-"I've got to go. I can't cope with this."

-Yeah.

0:17:080:17:10

And they said, "Just knock on the door of the guy next to you

0:17:100:17:13

"and say, do you want a coffee? It's as simple as that."

0:17:130:17:15

-And I... That was the hardest...

-Yes.

0:17:150:17:19

Knocking on that guy... I... Well, I didn't do it.

0:17:190:17:21

Why is that so difficult?

0:17:210:17:23

Something along the ideas of fear of social rejection,

0:17:230:17:26

which would make you feel even worse than not having knocked the door.

0:17:260:17:30

The origins of all this social anxiety, I think,

0:17:300:17:33

are in social acceptance and social rejection.

0:17:330:17:37

I think I'd almost have benefited

0:17:370:17:39

if I'd had this conversation with you 30 years ago.

0:17:390:17:41

If I'd just had more of a context for it, it might have helped.

0:17:410:17:44

I think I'd have just chilled out about it a bit.

0:17:440:17:46

And also, that it's kind of widespread,

0:17:460:17:47

-but not necessarily observable.

-Yeah.

0:17:470:17:50

So lots of other people that you might have talked to about it

0:17:500:17:53

-might also have helped you.

-That's almost step one,

0:17:530:17:56

in terms of partly finding a solution,

0:17:560:17:58

is just to talk to other shy people, realise it's widespread,

0:17:580:18:02

realise that what you're feeling is quite common,

0:18:020:18:04

the physical things that you feel in certain situations are common.

0:18:040:18:07

Exactly. I think that would be

0:18:070:18:09

a very useful first step, really, I think.

0:18:090:18:12

Talking to fellow sufferers would probably really have helped.

0:18:120:18:15

But when I was growing up,

0:18:150:18:16

I don't remember there being a National Shy Helpline.

0:18:160:18:19

And I'd have been too shy to ring it anyway.

0:18:190:18:22

But these days, it's different.

0:18:220:18:23

Near Swansea, shy kids as young as five come to yoga classes to try

0:18:230:18:28

and help them cope with the stresses of life in the toddler lane.

0:18:280:18:32

OK, guys. Ready?

0:18:320:18:34

So, everybody's going to copy me.

0:18:340:18:36

Inhale, up.

0:18:360:18:38

Lift one leg up and put it behind you.

0:18:390:18:43

Can you go back there and pass me my foot?

0:18:460:18:48

Can you pass...?

0:18:500:18:51

After a few minutes, a mini shy-ster, Nia, latches onto me.

0:18:520:18:57

-You speak to somebody new.

-No...

0:18:570:18:59

And suddenly I'm witnessing a shy kid in the wild...

0:18:590:19:02

Are you too shy to speak to somebody new?

0:19:020:19:05

..clinging to my legs for safety...

0:19:050:19:06

-No.

-Yeah, you can do it.

0:19:060:19:09

..hiding her face from the world, finding comfort in my shoulder.

0:19:090:19:13

-How do you feel when you feel shy?

-Don't know.

0:19:130:19:16

Do you feel like you want to hide?

0:19:160:19:17

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Do you not want to... Do you not want to make friends?

0:19:200:19:23

Do you like having friends, Nia?

0:19:250:19:27

Yeah, but I don't want to do that.

0:19:270:19:29

So, Huriyah, why yoga for shy kids?

0:19:330:19:37

Erm, because I used to be shy and I still am a bit.

0:19:370:19:41

I was really shy growing up, but I've been doing yoga since

0:19:410:19:45

I was three because with the anxiety of being shy, I didn't sleep.

0:19:450:19:50

So when I was three, my parents used to let me

0:19:500:19:52

stay up in their bedroom and they had a TV.

0:19:520:19:57

Yoga came on one day and I just followed along.

0:19:570:20:00

And how did that change things, then? What happened?

0:20:000:20:03

Um, it didn't make me

0:20:030:20:05

more confident at the time, that's only something that's

0:20:050:20:08

come around more recently, but it made me more content in myself,

0:20:080:20:13

so today, at the lessons, my job is to get them

0:20:130:20:17

confident in themselves and learn to accept themselves

0:20:170:20:20

and accept that other people are different from them and that's OK.

0:20:200:20:24

Breathe in your happiness...

0:20:240:20:27

Finding shy kids may be easy enough,

0:20:270:20:29

but looking for adults who admit to being shy is a whole different

0:20:290:20:31

ball game, like trying to find a wasp who only drinks Diet Coke.

0:20:310:20:34

Because shyness is a silent affliction, and strangely,

0:20:360:20:39

we adult travellers don't generally go round bragging about it.

0:20:390:20:43

So imagine my surprise when I discovered that my fellow

0:20:430:20:45

shysters have been gathering behind my back.

0:20:450:20:48

The cheating bastards have been forming shy support groups all over

0:20:480:20:51

the country and hooking up regularly to work through their inhibitions.

0:20:510:20:55

With a startling 9,000 members,

0:20:560:20:58

the UK's largest is the wonderfully titled London Shyness Social Group.

0:20:580:21:04

The group's leader is Jas.

0:21:040:21:05

It's interesting you say about specific environments,

0:21:050:21:08

-cos mine feels very, very much, certain situations.

-Yeah.

0:21:080:21:12

-And other things, I'm totally fine.

-Yeah, I'm the same.

0:21:120:21:15

-Are you?

-Yeah. At work, I'm extremely confident.

-Are you?

0:21:150:21:19

I'm a mental health support worker, so put me in a room full of people

0:21:190:21:22

screaming at me and threatening me, I'm fine.

0:21:220:21:25

Same with stand-up. Put me in a room full of people screaming at me...!

0:21:250:21:29

And you're fine!

0:21:290:21:30

Put me in a cafe, where I have to order a coffee and I'm screwed.

0:21:300:21:34

-That's mine, as well.

-Yeah. Really? You're the same?

-Put it there.

0:21:340:21:38

Why is it? What is it about coffee?!

0:21:380:21:41

Hi, everyone. So, for those who haven't met me before, I'm Jas,

0:21:430:21:47

this is London Shyness Social Group and I just want to explain

0:21:470:21:50

a little bit about tonight before we get into it.

0:21:500:21:52

The group hosts regular support sessions,

0:21:520:21:55

workshops and social get-togethers, attracting everyone from those

0:21:550:21:58

who want a little more human contact to people

0:21:580:22:01

who are leaving their bedrooms for the first time in months.

0:22:010:22:04

It's a real big step for these people.

0:22:040:22:06

It is, it is a really big step. But it depends on how you look at it, as well.

0:22:060:22:09

Some people see it as really daunting.

0:22:090:22:11

For some people, the fact that there is a group out there that

0:22:110:22:13

does this, this is comforting.

0:22:130:22:14

This is a place where they don't have to pretend to be extroverted.

0:22:140:22:17

They can just be shy, and ironically,

0:22:170:22:19

when you do that, they're actually really talkative.

0:22:190:22:22

There are certain situations where I don't know how to even talk,

0:22:220:22:26

because for example, here, it's just way too awkward,

0:22:260:22:30

I can't even make eye contact or anything.

0:22:300:22:33

I want to become invisible, almost. It's really scary.

0:22:330:22:36

I appreciate that for some people, even just being here is a big

0:22:360:22:39

thing, so I'm not here to force anyone to do anything, I promise.

0:22:390:22:42

Jas wants to do some exposure therapy exercises.

0:22:420:22:45

I've no idea what that entails, but look at that mad keen face.

0:22:450:22:49

If there weren't cameras on me, I'd lock myself in the nearest

0:22:490:22:52

portaloo and have to be forcibly removed by the council.

0:22:520:22:55

The exposure therapy exercises that we have in mind for today,

0:22:550:22:58

eye contact exercise, where we hold eye contact for a specific

0:22:580:23:02

amount of time with someone you haven't spoken to yet.

0:23:020:23:04

Shit.

0:23:040:23:05

If I wasn't so committed to this documentary, there's no way I

0:23:050:23:08

would come to a group like this, let alone get involved in the exercises.

0:23:080:23:12

I don't get my insecurities out in public for no-one.

0:23:120:23:15

And yet here we all are.

0:23:150:23:17

Well, we were chatting earlier about my particular shyness

0:23:170:23:20

where I think I'm ostensibly supremely confident in some

0:23:200:23:24

ways and totally lacking any confidence

0:23:240:23:28

and feeling incredibly inhibited and tonight, for example,

0:23:280:23:31

when I said I was anxious,

0:23:310:23:32

I'm absolutely terrified of these exercises you've got planned.

0:23:320:23:36

The back of my neck is hot, my forehead is sweating...

0:23:360:23:39

I wouldn't be like that before a gig. Even if it was 20,000 people.

0:23:390:23:43

It's very vulnerable.

0:23:430:23:44

There's nowhere to hide, you know, whereas maybe in stand-up comedy,

0:23:440:23:47

I'm hiding behind something of a persona, you know?

0:23:470:23:50

Wow, this is hard!

0:23:500:23:51

-This is a lot harder than stand-up comedy, I'll tell you that.

-Wow.

0:23:520:23:56

-Much harder!

-Starting in three, two, one...

0:23:560:24:01

Things are about to get worse, with an exposure therapy exercise.

0:24:010:24:06

Gazing, in agonising silence...

0:24:080:24:10

..into the eyes of a total stranger...

0:24:120:24:14

..for the world's longest minute.

0:24:160:24:20

That's approximately one minute.

0:24:290:24:31

I could not WAIT for that minute to be over. Nothing personal...

0:24:310:24:36

Honestly, lovely eyes, but...

0:24:360:24:37

-Thank you!

-I could not wait!

0:24:370:24:40

What is it? What is this?

0:24:400:24:41

-What is shyness?

-What is it, Jas?

0:24:410:24:44

I would say it's a sense of contextual insecurity or

0:24:440:24:48

contextual lack of confidence.

0:24:480:24:50

The reason why it's so contextual is

0:24:510:24:53

because you develop a comfort zone of some kind with certain

0:24:530:24:56

-things in certain situations and certain people, I guess.

-Yeah.

0:24:560:25:00

So, for example, you developing a sense of confidence

0:25:000:25:04

in your comedy, you've had to exercise that, it's like a muscle.

0:25:040:25:08

But for some reason, it's not always transferable.

0:25:080:25:11

What Jas says makes perfect sense.

0:25:140:25:16

It is a contextualised lack of confidence

0:25:160:25:18

and I certainly have my comfort zones,

0:25:180:25:20

like comedy.

0:25:200:25:22

And it would go to some way to answering the apparent contradiction

0:25:220:25:26

at the heart of this - that I can be cripplingly shy in normal life,

0:25:260:25:29

but completely confident, as long as I'm getting laughs on stage.

0:25:290:25:33

But how did I get on stage in the first place? I didn't want to do it.

0:25:340:25:38

The truth is, I didn't jump,

0:25:380:25:41

I was pushed, by an ex-girlfriend.

0:25:410:25:44

Her name is Bryony and she dragged me kicking and screaming to

0:25:440:25:47

enrol on a stand-up course at the Amused Moose comedy club in London.

0:25:470:25:52

Hello!

0:25:520:25:53

But what sort of monster would make a shy person do stand up?

0:25:530:25:56

So that very first time we met, did I come across as shy,

0:25:570:26:01

was there anything... Was I different in any way?

0:26:010:26:04

Anything unusual you noticed?

0:26:040:26:05

The very first time we met was in the job centre.

0:26:050:26:09

I noticed you, but I noticed you entertaining your two friends,

0:26:090:26:13

so you were making Ash and Jessica laugh, a lot.

0:26:130:26:16

Ah.

0:26:160:26:17

So maybe you were feeling shy, but you were compensating by doing

0:26:170:26:20

what you normally do, which is make people laugh.

0:26:200:26:23

Yes, that's all I was ever very good at, was making people laugh. I say very good.

0:26:230:26:26

You were happy in a group of people that you knew already and in

0:26:260:26:30

that circle, you have no inhibitions and you are really confident.

0:26:300:26:34

But I knew that you were, probably outside of that circle,

0:26:340:26:37

you were nervous about certain things.

0:26:370:26:40

In interviews, I've always said that I had an ex-girlfriend who

0:26:400:26:42

nagged and nagged and nagged for eight years,

0:26:420:26:46

is the figure I've put on it...

0:26:460:26:48

Could have been that long.

0:26:480:26:51

..to do something. Is that fair?

0:26:510:26:52

Yeah. Totally.

0:26:520:26:54

Isn't it? I mean, you were naturally funny...

0:26:540:26:57

-You hear that?

-You were!

0:26:570:26:59

Naturally funny!

0:26:590:27:00

So I thought you could be encouraged to think of it more like that.

0:27:000:27:04

You think it was shyness though, that was stopping me?

0:27:040:27:06

I think it was that combined with just, you know,

0:27:060:27:09

"people like me don't do this."

0:27:090:27:10

So if I hadn't gone with you to the Amused Moose,

0:27:100:27:13

would you have been able to knock on the door, go down the stairs,

0:27:130:27:15

-introduce yourself to that group...?

-No. No.

0:27:150:27:18

-But you did...

-Not a chance.

0:27:180:27:20

..go on your own, after I took you the first few times!

0:27:200:27:24

It's like taking someone to a kindergarten, isn't it?

0:27:240:27:27

Like, "Here's my little boy, he's going to stand up and do it."

0:27:270:27:30

When I went on that course, most of them... You remember?

0:27:300:27:33

Most of them, I didn't go to.

0:27:330:27:35

Most of them, I rang in sick, sometimes from just outside.

0:27:350:27:37

-You used to find excuses, didn't you?

-Yeah,

0:27:370:27:39

sometimes from outside the venue, I would ring up and say,

0:27:390:27:42

"I can't come into night, I'm really ill",

0:27:420:27:44

and I was outside, trying to... "Can I do it, can I do it?"

0:27:440:27:47

So Bryony realised I just needed a little push.

0:27:490:27:52

For eight years.

0:27:520:27:54

If she hadn't, how would my life be different now? Who knows?

0:27:540:27:58

But it has helped my confidence immeasurably, I know that much.

0:27:580:28:01

Bryony reckons I was happiest and most confident

0:28:020:28:05

when making people laugh, and she's right.

0:28:050:28:07

That's been true since I was a child.

0:28:070:28:09

Did I latch onto the fact that the social currency of laughter

0:28:110:28:14

is a very powerful one?

0:28:140:28:15

That if you could make people laugh, they'd overlook your other failings?

0:28:150:28:18

I'm brewing on a theory here and I want to test it,

0:28:190:28:22

so I've come to the Comedy Store,

0:28:220:28:25

a venue that kick-started my career, to talk to someone who was

0:28:250:28:28

with me on the very same comedy course that Bryony dragged me to.

0:28:280:28:32

He's fellow comedian Greg Davies.

0:28:320:28:35

Blow me down with a malfunctioning Dustbuster, there's a twist,

0:28:350:28:38

because he's a shyster too.

0:28:380:28:41

And in our 15 years of friendship, I've never even clocked it.

0:28:410:28:45

When I said to you, "Will you talk to me on the documentary",

0:28:450:28:48

I meant, will you talk to me about my shyness.

0:28:480:28:51

I thought you were asking me along to talk about the fact that

0:28:510:28:54

-I was shy.

-No, I didn't know... You're not shy. I didn't think you were shy, you're the last person...

0:28:540:28:57

I didn't think YOU were shy when we met.

0:28:570:28:59

You told me you were shy, I've never personally witnessed you being shy.

0:28:590:29:03

-Haven't you?

-No. If anything, I thought you were quite aloof.

0:29:030:29:06

If you're someone who has suffered from shyness as I have,

0:29:060:29:10

-you presume that everyone else is confident, don't you?

-Yeah.

0:29:100:29:14

-Well, I do.

-You're the most confident person I've ever met.

-Yes.

0:29:140:29:17

-But I'm not, though, am I?

-No, you are.

0:29:170:29:19

Yes, but I'm full of crushing self-doubt even now.

0:29:190:29:22

Oh, yeah, you've got no self-esteem.

0:29:220:29:24

But I wouldn't have said you were shy!

0:29:250:29:27

I've never seen you in a social context appear to be

0:29:270:29:30

inhibited or, you know...

0:29:300:29:32

But what is your definition of shyness?

0:29:320:29:34

Er... Like, I could never go up and talk to a girl. Could you do that?

0:29:340:29:39

-Never.

-Have you ever, in your life, gone up to a girl...?

-Never.

0:29:390:29:44

Not so much now, but in the old days. Did you ever go to a girl...

0:29:440:29:47

Even now, I've never approached someone I find attractive.

0:29:470:29:49

-Once in your life?

-Not once.

-No way.

-No.

0:29:490:29:52

I got asked out by a girl in school, who I liked,

0:29:520:29:55

and just the sheer horror of her asking me out, I said no.

0:29:550:30:00

Every cell in my body was going, "Yes!",

0:30:000:30:02

and just the fact that she had had that self-confidence to say

0:30:020:30:06

"I'd like to go out with you", I went, "No!"

0:30:060:30:09

Really rudely!

0:30:090:30:10

-Do you talk about your shyness on stage?

-No.

-Never?

0:30:110:30:14

No, because I think going on stage is a weird way of trying to

0:30:140:30:19

address self-consciousness, it's sort of...

0:30:190:30:23

running headlong at your demons, isn't it, really?

0:30:230:30:25

Do you think you're a stand-up now, comedian, clown, whatever,

0:30:250:30:28

because you were shy and inhibited as a child?

0:30:280:30:31

I think, to a degree, it certainly started happening at 17

0:30:310:30:35

when I suddenly thought "I'm going to have to run into the light

0:30:350:30:38

"a bit, otherwise I'm going to spend my whole life hiding in corners",

0:30:380:30:42

-you know.

-Did you ever think about doing anything about it, or...

0:30:420:30:45

-You know.

-No. Just surviving!

-Yeah.

0:30:450:30:49

But a lot of it is fear-based.

0:30:490:30:51

I think shyness...

0:30:510:30:53

For me, it was always, "I'm going to be humiliated,

0:30:530:30:56

"I'm going to be bullied if I draw attention to myself."

0:30:560:30:59

A lot of it is fear. I think.

0:30:590:31:02

Yeah.

0:31:020:31:03

Like me, it seems Greg has wrapped himself in the protective

0:31:030:31:06

cloak of comedy, chasing away the shyness, the fear of people

0:31:060:31:10

laughing at him, by making people laugh at him, but on his terms.

0:31:100:31:14

Comedy as cure? It makes some sense to me.

0:31:150:31:18

But I wonder if there's anything more scientific in this,

0:31:180:31:21

so I'm finally ready to blast off into outer headspace

0:31:210:31:24

and I'm going to go and consult a shrink.

0:31:240:31:26

I've made an appointment with a clinical psychologist

0:31:280:31:30

specialising in CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy -

0:31:300:31:34

at Cardiff University's Department of Psychology.

0:31:340:31:37

I feel all my life I've suffered from shyness,

0:31:370:31:40

it's been a bloody pain.

0:31:400:31:41

So it's been a lot worse in the past than it is now,

0:31:410:31:44

but day-to-day now, there are still some things,

0:31:440:31:46

particularly the eating on your own in public.

0:31:460:31:48

Yeah. Day-to-day now, there are some things.

0:31:480:31:50

What has helped me massively is being a bit known.

0:31:500:31:55

-That changes the situations that you find yourself in.

-Sure.

0:31:550:31:58

But some of the very simplest ones, like just being on your own

0:31:580:32:01

and going and eating somewhere on your own, are still there.

0:32:010:32:04

They still go on. And some very...

0:32:040:32:07

For some people, some very uncomfortable situations are ones

0:32:070:32:09

-that you do approach on a regular basis.

-Mm.

0:32:090:32:13

-Um, where you are very much the centre of attention.

-Mm.

0:32:130:32:17

Would you say?

0:32:170:32:18

Yes.

0:32:190:32:20

So people with social anxiety tend to avoid the situations that

0:32:200:32:23

make them really anxious, and if they are in them,

0:32:230:32:26

they tend to try and stay in the background.

0:32:260:32:28

It's perfectly understandable that people try and do that,

0:32:280:32:31

but it's actually one of the things that keeps the problem going.

0:32:310:32:34

-Do you see what I mean?

-Yeah.

0:32:340:32:36

So for you, the fact that actually, you've not been able to avoid

0:32:360:32:38

being noticed, does, to me,

0:32:380:32:40

it kind of makes sense that that would have helped.

0:32:400:32:43

So, what I've done, in essence,

0:32:430:32:46

is been somebody who's been afraid of being noticed, all that

0:32:460:32:49

kind of stuff, been that classic social anxiety sort of inhibitions.

0:32:490:32:53

And what you'd recommend for somebody like that is to

0:32:530:32:55

confront it head-on and I've kind of done that by...accidentally.

0:32:550:32:59

You've done something extra, as well.

0:32:590:33:01

We would recommend that somebody confront a feared situation,

0:33:010:33:04

but we also recommend that they get feedback about how

0:33:040:33:08

they come across and in therapy,

0:33:080:33:10

we find ways of giving people

0:33:100:33:12

feedback, so we very often film people and have them

0:33:120:33:15

watch the film, for people to actually see how they come across.

0:33:150:33:18

-Rather than just how they imagine.

-That's really interesting.

0:33:180:33:20

So you've actually done that,

0:33:200:33:22

you put yourself in feared situations and you've also

0:33:220:33:25

got feedback in those situations about how you actually come across.

0:33:250:33:29

So this is the answer for all people suffering from social anxiety -

0:33:290:33:32

just get yourself a stand-up and TV career and read your reviews. Boom!

0:33:320:33:36

-Sorted!

-As long as they're successful, Rhod, yes!

0:33:360:33:39

As long as it's reasonably successful!

0:33:390:33:41

Yes. I don't like a bad review, that's for sure.

0:33:410:33:45

Well, blow me.

0:33:450:33:46

I think I might have just stumbled on a revolutionary new

0:33:460:33:48

cure for shyness.

0:33:480:33:50

Alternative CBT - Comedy Behavioural Therapy.

0:33:500:33:54

Ker-ching! I can hear the smell of global franchises and ringing tills.

0:33:540:33:58

If it worked for me, maybe it could work for others.

0:33:580:34:01

There's only one way to find out - I'm going to bag me

0:34:010:34:04

some shy people and see if I can persuade them to do stand-up.

0:34:040:34:07

This might be self-indulgent madness,

0:34:070:34:09

but sod it, it's 2018, it's the way of the world.

0:34:090:34:12

"Is shyness ruining your life?

0:34:120:34:16

"Do you struggle to go into cafes on your own?

0:34:160:34:19

"Have you ever spent a weekend locked in a portaloo

0:34:190:34:20

"because you were too shy to come out? Then this documentary could be for you. Love, Rhod."

0:34:200:34:26

I launched my message into cyberspace,

0:34:260:34:29

fully expecting no response whatsoever.

0:34:290:34:32

But would you believe it, I get thousands of replies.

0:34:320:34:35

What's that, you wouldn't?

0:34:350:34:37

No, nor me, and I didn't.

0:34:370:34:38

But I did get enough to carry on with my experiment.

0:34:380:34:41

After a fairly random selection process, I choose three very

0:34:410:34:44

shy guinea pigs and invite them to hear my cunning plan.

0:34:440:34:48

I'm pretty sure none of them will turn up, what self-respecting

0:34:480:34:51

shy person would volunteer to get their social anxieties out on TV?

0:34:510:34:55

But once again, I'm wrong.

0:34:550:34:58

Guinea pig one is Jodie, 26 and hides out in Swansea.

0:34:580:35:02

She works part-time as the world's only wedding photographer who

0:35:020:35:05

is too shy to ask anyone to say "cheese".

0:35:050:35:08

Guinea pig two, Mike, is 29 and stares at his feet around Cardiff.

0:35:080:35:13

He's a serial dropper-outer at uni and he's never been on a date.

0:35:130:35:18

Guinea pig three, Kate,

0:35:180:35:19

is in her 40s and lurks about in the shadows near Leith.

0:35:190:35:22

She prefers animals to humans and works in a pet shop.

0:35:220:35:25

Certainly, she knows all about guinea pigs.

0:35:250:35:28

While we all suffer in different ways and to varying degrees,

0:35:280:35:31

I can immediately relate to all three of them.

0:35:310:35:35

What is your earliest shy memory?

0:35:350:35:37

From about the ages of about five or so,

0:35:370:35:41

being in the park

0:35:410:35:43

and just all the other kids playing together

0:35:430:35:46

when I would be separate, on my own, you know?

0:35:460:35:49

I think I've just always been a shy person.

0:35:490:35:51

I don't remember being any other way.

0:35:510:35:54

It's just I found it hard to make friends in school

0:35:540:35:56

and I always was on the outside looking in.

0:35:560:35:59

I got bullied a lot in school, so...

0:35:590:36:01

Beaten up almost daily when I was about five, six.

0:36:020:36:05

-Beaten up almost daily?

-Yeah.

0:36:050:36:07

Um... I think naturally, I'm...

0:36:070:36:10

I'm quite gregarious, I want people around,

0:36:110:36:13

-but I find it hard to engage.

-So shyness has kind of...

0:36:130:36:18

-had a massive impact on you, really?

-Yeah.

-Tell me about the bus tickets.

0:36:180:36:22

Ever since, you know, I can remember, I go on the bus into town

0:36:220:36:26

with my nan and I'd get her to pay for them

0:36:260:36:29

while I just stood behind her.

0:36:290:36:31

Just a financial thing, though?!

0:36:310:36:33

-Screwing your nan out of...

-I wasn't getting enough pocket money!

0:36:330:36:37

Tap Nana up, why not?

0:36:370:36:38

-What's the fear, do you reckon?

-Fear of getting it wrong.

0:36:380:36:41

Fear of being thought to be stupid or... Which I may be,

0:36:410:36:44

I can be. And I seem to be the family failure, really.

0:36:440:36:49

And I work in retail, I haven't got anything much to show for anything.

0:36:500:36:55

-And why have you...decided to sign up for this?

-I just think...

0:36:550:37:00

There's so many opportunities in life, it's time to take one, really.

0:37:020:37:06

I'd love to be able to just...

0:37:060:37:08

..not have the shyness and be able to have this confidence

0:37:090:37:12

and go up to anybody I wanted.

0:37:120:37:13

It does affect me, I do wish I was able to do what I wanted,

0:37:130:37:17

have my own freedom, so to speak.

0:37:170:37:19

-Freedom from yourself?

-Freedom from myself, yes!

0:37:190:37:22

I know I need to do something more with my life.

0:37:220:37:26

Whether it leads to anything or not is irrelevant,

0:37:260:37:30

I need to stop sitting in that comfort area and just go

0:37:300:37:35

and do something that's different.

0:37:350:37:37

And you can't get much different than this, really.

0:37:370:37:40

No. No, that could be true.

0:37:400:37:43

VOICEOVER: Oh, bollocks. What have I done?

0:37:430:37:46

I've asked these lovely, painfully shy, vulnerable people,

0:37:460:37:49

to go away for a few weeks and come up with some stand-up

0:37:490:37:51

material based on their own experiences of shyness.

0:37:510:37:54

There is a worry here that what I'm asking these guys to do is

0:37:550:38:01

really, really beyond the pale.

0:38:010:38:03

The most confident, non-shy people would have

0:38:030:38:06

nightmares about doing stand-up comedy.

0:38:060:38:08

For these guys, to put themselves in the firing line like that,

0:38:080:38:12

and try and do this, is enormous.

0:38:120:38:15

As they go off to try and channel their inner

0:38:150:38:17

Billy Connollys, I think I need my head examining -

0:38:170:38:20

literally.

0:38:200:38:21

Because one area of shyness I've yet to explore is

0:38:210:38:24

whether you can tell if someone is shy by looking at their brain,

0:38:240:38:27

so I've come to London's Harley Street.

0:38:270:38:30

What I'm going to do is measure

0:38:310:38:33

the electrical activity from your brain, from your scalp.

0:38:330:38:35

EEG specialist Tony Stafford has agreed to attempt to find out,

0:38:350:38:39

by putting a thing on my head

0:38:390:38:41

that definitely doesn't make me look a twat.

0:38:410:38:43

-Is that all right?

-Lovely.

0:38:430:38:45

It's not a direct measure of shyness.

0:38:450:38:47

The EEG will tell us about arousal and anxiety,

0:38:470:38:52

so we can infer that this person

0:38:520:38:54

is more anxious and they're more likely to be shy.

0:38:540:38:57

There is the opposite marker,

0:38:570:38:58

something called frontal middle theta that

0:38:580:39:00

if you have a high frontal middle theta, you're more likely to be

0:39:000:39:03

extrovert and more happy-go-lucky, and less likely to be shy.

0:39:030:39:06

Is shyness...

0:39:060:39:08

Can we see any generalities about it, is it a sign of being...

0:39:080:39:11

highly tuned into other people's...

0:39:110:39:13

Is it less... You know?

0:39:130:39:15

I have just read that they make better lovers.

0:39:150:39:18

Lovers! HE CLICKS HIS TONGUE

0:39:180:39:19

-..and that would fit with being more...

-I knew there was a reason I was doing this documentary!

0:39:190:39:23

-I knew I had to get something positive out of it!

-..more socially adept, basically.

0:39:230:39:27

OK, so what I want you to do is just close your eyes and relax

0:39:280:39:32

and try not to think of anything in particular

0:39:320:39:34

and just be as relaxed and still as can be.

0:39:340:39:37

In order to work out how aroused and anxious I am,

0:39:380:39:41

the computer needs to record my mind at rest.

0:39:410:39:44

Firstly, with my eyes closed...

0:39:450:39:47

and then with my eyes open.

0:39:470:39:48

But given Tony has just told me I'm a sex god,

0:39:490:39:52

-can I keep my anxious arousal in check?

-Cool, OK.

0:39:520:39:55

Let me just save that... So this is the spectrogram.

0:39:550:39:59

We're looking down on the head here, your nose would be here,

0:39:590:40:01

this is the back of your head

0:40:010:40:03

and each one of these 19 little graphs

0:40:030:40:05

is one of those 19 electrodes.

0:40:050:40:07

So this yellow is the alpha,

0:40:070:40:08

so more alpha means the brain doing less activity.

0:40:080:40:12

I was expecting to see more of this beta brainwave, the busy brainwave.

0:40:120:40:16

I'm assuming that the shyness is social anxiety,

0:40:160:40:19

so anxiety is a busier brain.

0:40:190:40:22

-So constantly alert, on the lookout for threats?

-Yeah.

0:40:220:40:26

So this is saying that you are low arousal, your brain is not very

0:40:260:40:29

active. Actually, this is kind of

0:40:290:40:31

the opposite of what I was expecting. I was expecting to see...

0:40:310:40:34

So brutal! So brutal, Tony.

0:40:340:40:36

"Your brain is not very active."

0:40:360:40:39

-So, looking at this, we can't tell that I'm shy.

-No.

0:40:390:40:43

But we can tell, we have an indicator that

0:40:430:40:46

I'm not particularly an extrovert...

0:40:460:40:48

Yeah, I think that's fair enough to say.

0:40:480:40:50

And you are certainly a lot less aroused than I was expecting.

0:40:500:40:54

I'm a sloth.

0:40:540:40:55

I wouldn't say that, but... In that direction!

0:40:550:40:58

-Chilled!

-I'm chilled!

0:40:580:41:01

You've got this peak here, which I'm quite intrigued about.

0:41:010:41:04

This is not a typical pattern. This is almost like an ADD subtype.

0:41:040:41:08

So looking at that, I could have ADD?

0:41:100:41:13

-Attention Deficit Disorder?

-Yes.

0:41:130:41:15

So I've come here today to see

0:41:150:41:17

if you could identify sort of shyness in the brain...

0:41:170:41:21

..and what you're telling me is you can't, I might have ADHD,

0:41:220:41:26

-but a very chilled out, sort of relaxed version of that?

-Yeah.

0:41:260:41:30

So I've come in...

0:41:300:41:32

..on this shyness documentary, and I've left with...

0:41:340:41:37

no answer on that, but three other documentaries to do?

0:41:370:41:40

Perfect.

0:41:400:41:42

What the...?! I only came in for shyness.

0:41:420:41:45

Whilst I come to terms with this latest diagnosis,

0:41:450:41:48

I've left my three lab rats slaving on the comedy wheel of hell.

0:41:480:41:52

Come in, come in!

0:41:520:41:53

Their homework was to generate some hilarious comedy material

0:41:530:41:56

based on their debilitating experiences of shyness.

0:41:560:41:59

Piece of piss! Right?

0:41:590:42:01

So, I think if you can face it, I'm going

0:42:010:42:05

to ask you to stand there and do it.

0:42:050:42:08

To the rest of us.

0:42:080:42:10

How does that sound?

0:42:100:42:12

-Well, you know, what the hell, we're here.

-"What the hell, we're here!"

0:42:120:42:15

Is that as positive as...? That's as positive as I'm going to get!

0:42:150:42:19

And, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage, it's Kate!

0:42:190:42:24

Good evening, everybody, my name is Kate

0:42:240:42:26

and I'm standing before you today as a shy person.

0:42:260:42:29

I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself now.

0:42:290:42:31

-I suffer with a depression, I also have what is known as RBF.

-What?

0:42:310:42:36

I don't know if anybody of you understand what RBF is.

0:42:360:42:39

RBF is a condition called Resting Bitch Face.

0:42:390:42:42

-Nice.

-This is my natural face,

0:42:430:42:46

I have cultivated it over the years to

0:42:460:42:48

avoid people talking to me, and it works.

0:42:480:42:51

-A can't remember what else I was going to say...

-Can I just say, already there,

0:42:520:42:56

that's going to get a couple of laughs. You know?

0:42:560:42:58

And, um...

0:42:580:43:00

-Yeah, you want to do a bit more? Are you going to do?

-Um...

0:43:000:43:03

-No, it's all gone, now.

-It's all gone?

-It's all gone.

-Blank head.

0:43:030:43:07

Hello, how you doing? I'm Jodie, I'm 26 and I'm from Swansea.

0:43:080:43:12

Yes, so... Shyness.

0:43:120:43:14

I was on the coach the other day, coming into Cardiff.

0:43:140:43:18

All went fine until we got on the way back.

0:43:180:43:21

I needed to get off, didn't I?

0:43:210:43:23

There's me, panicking, thinking, "Oh, no,

0:43:230:43:26

"I've got to talk to another person and tell him to stop."

0:43:260:43:29

I thought about it.

0:43:290:43:31

Nah, I did not have the balls to go and say to him,

0:43:320:43:35

just go up to him, and simply say...

0:43:350:43:37

"Stop."

0:43:370:43:38

-Yeah, that's all I can remember now!

-OK, brilliant. OK.

0:43:380:43:42

I told you five seconds!

0:43:420:43:44

OK, hello, everyone, hello!

0:43:470:43:49

-How you doing?

-Good!

-Good!

0:43:490:43:51

Um, I'm not doing so well.

0:43:510:43:53

But it's OK, it's OK. I just have depression. Yay!

0:43:530:43:57

Um, yeah. Uh, so yes, OK.

0:44:000:44:02

So, yeah, that's unfair, OK.

0:44:020:44:05

OK. Yeah.

0:44:050:44:08

Sorry, I've lost it, here.

0:44:080:44:10

-Do you mind if I... Stop, and then...

-Not at all.

-Do it again?

0:44:100:44:13

-Not at all. Do whatever you want.

-Yeah.

0:44:130:44:16

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Sorry.

0:44:160:44:18

Oh, yeah, OK, do you mean stop? OK, cool.

0:44:180:44:21

Hang on a minute, you should get your response!

0:44:210:44:24

At least get your response!

0:44:240:44:25

It's going to work. All three of you, it's going to work.

0:44:260:44:29

It's just a bit more practice...

0:44:290:44:33

And just keeping doing what you're doing.

0:44:330:44:35

You're doing, all doing the right thing in the right direction.

0:44:350:44:38

Those are three brave, brave people,

0:44:380:44:42

who struggle with what most people would think are the simplest

0:44:420:44:48

everyday interactions, who are one step closer to a stand-up gig.

0:44:480:44:55

And if it goes wrong...

0:44:550:44:57

..and sets them back...

0:45:000:45:02

..I'm not going to be able to live with myself.

0:45:040:45:06

Hmmm.

0:45:070:45:09

Unsurprisingly, my shy, comedy proteges are struggling.

0:45:090:45:12

Meanwhile, I'm having a mini-crisis of my own.

0:45:120:45:16

Am I doing the right thing?

0:45:160:45:18

Interfering in people's lives with my cod psychology?

0:45:180:45:21

I decide to ask my wife, Sian.

0:45:220:45:24

She married me, but apart from that, she's always had good judgment.

0:45:240:45:27

I think your shyness is a good antidote to your outgoing...

0:45:290:45:35

If I wasn't shy, I'd be a complete extrovert...

0:45:350:45:37

-Yeah, you'd be on all the time.

-Switched on all the time.

0:45:370:45:39

-And I don't think I could handle it.

-Yeah.

-It's too much.

0:45:390:45:43

I like that you have a side to you that is quieter,

0:45:430:45:45

-more reflective, wants to be on your own.

-Gives you a break.

0:45:450:45:49

No, but it... I can relate to that, you know?

0:45:490:45:52

I couldn't relate to somebody who's onstage all the time,

0:45:520:45:55

-I can't get in and can't talk to them.

-Yeah.

0:45:550:45:57

So I think it's nice to have mix.

0:45:570:45:59

But I find my shyness really stopped me doing things in my life,

0:45:590:46:02

it's got in the way. There's loads of things I'd have done differently.

0:46:020:46:05

But how did it...?

0:46:050:46:07

I'm sick of it, that's partly why I want to do this documentary.

0:46:070:46:10

Can't you embrace it, though?

0:46:100:46:12

Rather than trying to change and fix it?

0:46:120:46:14

Yeah, maybe the fix is that you embrace it

0:46:140:46:16

and that's the same thing.

0:46:160:46:17

-Maybe that is the cure, to accept it and...

-Yeah.

0:46:170:46:20

Yeah, and then do what makes you happy when you're shy.

0:46:200:46:23

I wish you wouldn't feel so...

0:46:230:46:26

sad about it and regret stuff.

0:46:260:46:28

-You like me just the way I am, that's what you're saying.

-Yes!

0:46:280:46:31

Does that help? Strangely, yes. Sian reckons shyness can be a good thing.

0:46:330:46:38

I should embrace it.

0:46:380:46:40

So shouldn't I be saying the same to my comedy guinea pigs,

0:46:400:46:43

instead of indulging this "stand-up as cure" bullshit?

0:46:430:46:46

I think it's time I gave them an escape route.

0:46:460:46:48

To frighten them off, I invite them to a comedy venue in Cardiff

0:46:500:46:53

and tell them I booked it for their stand-up debut in a month's time.

0:46:530:46:57

Just immediately checking pulses.

0:46:580:47:01

How does that make you feel?

0:47:010:47:04

-Terrified!

-I think that about sums it up.

-It's a good word.

-Terrified.

0:47:040:47:10

-Terrified. Just terror?

-Excited.

-Excited?

-Yeah.

0:47:100:47:14

-Why are you excited, what are you...?

-Just...

0:47:140:47:17

Pretty much the same. I'd like to push the boundaries a bit more.

0:47:180:47:22

-Just see what I can achieve.

-Jodie?

0:47:220:47:25

You won't get another chance to do anything like this,

0:47:250:47:28

-you've got to take it.

-I'm going to get on stage for this bit.

0:47:280:47:31

If I said, "Oh, forget it all, let's forget it, silly idea",

0:47:310:47:34

how would you feel now?

0:47:340:47:36

No, we've made it too far! We've come too far already!

0:47:360:47:39

-Would you be disappointed? ALL:

-Yes.

-I would, actually.

0:47:390:47:42

Brilliant, perfect. In that case, we'll see each other back here...

0:47:420:47:46

in about a month.

0:47:460:47:49

You heard them.

0:47:490:47:50

I offered an out, but my guinea pigs

0:47:500:47:52

have got the bit between their massive front teeth.

0:47:520:47:55

It's out of my control -

0:47:550:47:56

all I can do now is try to make sure it doesn't go very, very wrong.

0:47:560:48:00

So, over the course of the next few weeks,

0:48:010:48:03

we all enter an intense action montage.

0:48:030:48:06

I impart my canon of comedy knowledge in a phalanx

0:48:080:48:11

of workshops...

0:48:110:48:12

..e-mails...

0:48:130:48:15

and videos.

0:48:150:48:17

This is Jodie's. Who seems to be in bed.

0:48:170:48:21

I send them off to drama college for some confidence training.

0:48:210:48:24

Nice! Nice.

0:48:240:48:26

Slowly, but surely,

0:48:260:48:27

my three shysters begin to resemble something resembling stand-ups.

0:48:270:48:32

-Or in Jodie's case...

-I was on the coach coming back from Cardiff...

0:48:320:48:36

..a lie down.

0:48:360:48:38

One short month later, the big day drops with a resounding...

0:48:390:48:43

"Oh, shit".

0:48:430:48:45

-Nice to see you. Jodie, how you doing?

-OK.

0:48:450:48:47

-Got nervous hysterics, I see? That's good. Mike!

-Hello.

0:48:470:48:51

-How are we feeling?

-Nothing, at the moment.

-Nothing? A bit...

0:48:510:48:55

No, that's normal, I think.

0:48:560:48:58

-You know, you haven't shat yourself. That's good.

-Not yet!

0:48:580:49:02

I think for me, I was thinking about it as I was driving down here today.

0:49:020:49:05

The point of it tonight is ready to get up there and not

0:49:050:49:07

give a shit, because we all come to shyness in different ways.

0:49:070:49:11

But for me, it's caring too much about what people think

0:49:110:49:14

and I think if you can get up there tonight and not give a shit what people think of you,

0:49:140:49:17

if I walk up and fall flat on my face, it doesn't matter.

0:49:170:49:20

We all care too much about what other people think.

0:49:200:49:22

At least I'll get a laugh if I do that.

0:49:220:49:24

You'll DEFINITELY get a laugh.

0:49:240:49:27

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, Mike!

0:49:270:49:30

-Time for one last rehearsal.

-Hello, welcome, welcome.

0:49:300:49:34

This is my first stand-up gig.

0:49:340:49:35

I don't know about them, but I am getting pretty damn nervous.

0:49:350:49:39

To be honest, I'm not doing too well at all.

0:49:390:49:41

There's definitely a worry that they will get on stage tonight,

0:49:410:49:45

that they'll clam up completely.

0:49:450:49:47

And there's definitely a worry that nerves will overtake them

0:49:470:49:50

physically so badly that they won't be able to do anything.

0:49:500:49:53

It's happened to me, all of those things have happened to me.

0:49:530:49:56

Hello, a big hello to everyone! Hope you're all OK tonight.

0:49:560:49:58

What I want for them is to get up there and, however briefly,

0:49:580:50:03

stick two fingers up to their shyness.

0:50:030:50:05

If they can do this,

0:50:050:50:07

then it will just be a slight correction in their brains,

0:50:070:50:11

of the voices that say, "You can't do this, you're not good enough,

0:50:110:50:15

"nobody is interested in you, why would anybody listen to you?"

0:50:150:50:18

I can't even get the mic off the stand, Jesus.

0:50:180:50:20

I'm so nervous for them. And I feel responsible for them.

0:50:200:50:24

I know I'm not, cos they're adults,

0:50:240:50:25

and they put themselves forward for this, and they're sick

0:50:250:50:28

of their shyness and they're sick of it ruling their lives.

0:50:280:50:31

-Good evening, everybody, are you enjoying yourselves tonight?

-Wahey!

0:50:310:50:34

Cos this train they've got on, I'm sort of driving it.

0:50:340:50:37

At the moment, I'm sticking my head out the window, and there's a low bridge coming.

0:50:370:50:41

Er...

0:50:420:50:43

And the reason that's such a shit analogy is I'm getting really nervous.

0:50:450:50:48

The nerves are kicking in now.

0:50:480:50:50

I'm hoping that once I go on stage, they all just fly out of me,

0:50:500:50:53

-so to speak.

-To be honest, it's more that... I freeze.

0:50:530:50:56

It's more the fear I worry about rather than...

0:50:580:51:01

You know, not getting laughs and stuff.

0:51:010:51:03

I'm hoping to achieve getting up on the stage...

0:51:030:51:05

Getting through my routine and getting back down off the stage

0:51:060:51:09

without making a total and utter tit out of myself.

0:51:090:51:12

There will be one person laughing out here, anyway. And that's me.

0:51:120:51:15

RIPPLE OF LAUGHTER

0:51:160:51:18

To help cushion my guinea pigs a little,

0:51:200:51:22

I've roped in some lovely professional comedian mates to warm

0:51:220:51:25

up a crowd of friends, families and contributors to this documentary.

0:51:250:51:30

-This is good.

-Please welcome to the stage, Michael Powell!

0:51:300:51:35

By the time Mike gets up to take the first hit,

0:51:350:51:37

the audience are already warm to toasty.

0:51:370:51:39

Hello, hello, welcome! Welcome.

0:51:450:51:47

I wasn't expecting that!

0:51:470:51:49

You know I'm not Rod Gilbert?

0:51:490:51:51

Um, so... Yeah.

0:51:530:51:54

This is my first stand-up gig.

0:51:540:51:56

WHOOPING

0:51:560:51:57

And the BBC are recording it!

0:51:580:52:00

WHOOPING

0:52:000:52:02

Now, to say I'm nervous is a bit of an understatement.

0:52:020:52:05

Backstage, I shit enough bricks that I could build Trump's wall.

0:52:060:52:11

So, like I say, they're filming this, so if it doesn't go

0:52:160:52:19

well tonight, they'll edit it out,

0:52:190:52:21

-put in some laughs, it'll be great.

-LAUGHTER

0:52:210:52:23

They can use that, for example.

0:52:230:52:25

With laughter the wind beneath his wings, Mike starts to soar.

0:52:260:52:31

Any single ladies here tonight?

0:52:310:52:33

-WHOOPS

-It's your lucky day.

0:52:330:52:35

Because I'm desperate!

0:52:370:52:39

I'm thrilled for Mike, but I also know the other two's hearts

0:52:410:52:44

have stopped, watching from their nervous nest.

0:52:440:52:48

Um... Being shy...

0:52:480:52:50

I find it hard to get a date.

0:52:500:52:52

Uh, I've never had a date.

0:52:530:52:54

I've never had a date in the cinema,

0:52:540:52:57

never had a date in a coffee shop,

0:52:570:52:59

I never had a date in a restaurant...

0:52:590:53:02

But today, I bit the bullet and got myself a date.

0:53:040:53:07

WHOOPING

0:53:070:53:10

Hey!

0:53:100:53:11

And here it is.

0:53:110:53:13

LAUGHTER

0:53:130:53:15

I hope you have a good night, enjoy the rest of the show!

0:53:230:53:26

Mike has grown a foot taller during his set,

0:53:300:53:32

owned his shyness and stormed the gig.

0:53:320:53:35

Next in line, Jodie.

0:53:390:53:41

Hello, how are you all tonight? All good I hope? Good!

0:53:460:53:50

I'm so nervous right now, I'm not going to lie.

0:53:500:53:52

I'm not going to lie,

0:53:520:53:54

I'm sweating in places I didn't even know could produce sweat.

0:53:540:53:57

It is that bad. I... I'm sweating like a nun in a brothel right now.

0:53:580:54:03

Now, I know

0:54:060:54:07

some of you in this room are probably at least somewhat shy.

0:54:070:54:11

Let me just give you a few examples of how this certain...quality...

0:54:110:54:15

has made my life more, interesting, should we say.

0:54:150:54:19

Now, a little while ago as well, I signed up for a Netflix account.

0:54:210:54:24

You know, because I'm on my own, in my bedroom a lot, watching TV.

0:54:240:54:29

But I had to cancel it because funds were getting low.

0:54:290:54:33

However, the only way to cancel a Netflix account...

0:54:330:54:36

is to ring them up.

0:54:360:54:38

Shit.

0:54:410:54:43

The oxygen of laughter fills Jodie's lungs as well.

0:54:460:54:50

In the end, I... Well, it's only £6 a month, isn't it?

0:54:500:54:53

Her self-confidence swells

0:54:550:54:57

with every chuckling approval from the audience.

0:54:570:55:00

This is why, at age 26, I still get my nan to make

0:55:010:55:05

all my appointments and all phone calls for me, because shyness sucks.

0:55:050:55:10

And I'm putting two fingers up to it.

0:55:110:55:13

-WHOOPING

-Come on! Come on, join in with me!

0:55:130:55:16

I've been myself, you've been great, thank you very much!

0:55:180:55:20

CHEERING

0:55:200:55:23

-Jodie Williams!

-Two down.

0:55:250:55:28

Or maybe up. One to go.

0:55:280:55:30

Please welcome to the stage, Kate Hoad!

0:55:310:55:33

But all the pressure is now on Kate.

0:55:370:55:39

Good evening everybody, are we having fun tonight? Good, good.

0:55:420:55:46

Well, that's all about to change.

0:55:460:55:48

-Good start.

-It's hard, being shy when you work in retail.

0:55:500:55:54

But it's even harder when, like me, you have a condition called RBF.

0:55:540:55:59

It's a serious condition,

0:55:590:56:00

I don't know if any of you know what RBF means.

0:56:000:56:03

RBF stands for Resting Bitch Face.

0:56:030:56:06

Basically, this facial expression here...

0:56:080:56:12

This is my normal facial expression.

0:56:120:56:14

Faced with an appreciative audience,

0:56:180:56:20

even Kate is forced to challenge her own self-loathing,

0:56:200:56:22

and hangs up her resting bitch face for a few minutes.

0:56:220:56:26

It's a whole different story when I get to know people,

0:56:270:56:29

because when I get to know people, I KNOW why don't like them.

0:56:290:56:33

And I don't discriminate. I don't discriminate.

0:56:400:56:42

It doesn't matter to me what colour you are,

0:56:420:56:44

it doesn't matter to me what sex you are,

0:56:440:56:46

what religion you are, it doesn't even matter what team you bat for.

0:56:460:56:49

If you're human, I don't like you.

0:56:490:56:52

How long can I keep this going?

0:56:540:56:56

Fucking ages, let me tell you.

0:56:580:57:00

Anyway, you'll be relieved to hear that's all from me.

0:57:030:57:05

Everybody has been absolutely fantastic,

0:57:050:57:07

this has been a journey, and I've really enjoyed it.

0:57:070:57:10

Thank you and goodnight.

0:57:100:57:11

CHEERING

0:57:110:57:13

Three out of three! Three out of three, home and dry! Home and dry.

0:57:180:57:22

-Let me tell you, I am bloody relieved!

-YOU are?!

0:57:220:57:25

Well, it wasn't a foregone conclusion, let's face it,

0:57:270:57:30

that you would all three of you come through with flying colours,

0:57:300:57:32

and you have, totally. I don't even need to lie! It's awesome!

0:57:320:57:36

VOICEOVER: I'm exhausted, mentally, emotionally drained.

0:57:360:57:40

I lived every moment of that with them.

0:57:400:57:42

But... I didn't need to worry.

0:57:420:57:44

They totally took it on, they wanted to stick two fingers up to

0:57:440:57:48

shyness, they wanted to reclaim a bit of their own life back.

0:57:480:57:52

I'm so proud of you.

0:57:520:57:54

To have stood up here, with the lights in your face,

0:57:550:57:57

and everybody looking at them, expectantly,

0:57:570:58:00

and try to make people laugh?

0:58:000:58:02

I wouldn't have done it. No chance!

0:58:020:58:05

Would you?

0:58:050:58:06

Doing stand-up was never going to transform my guinea pigs

0:58:060:58:09

into confident social butterflies,

0:58:090:58:11

but they all believe it had a positive impact on their lives.

0:58:110:58:15

Since doing it, Kate got up

0:58:150:58:17

and made a speech at her sister's 50th birthday party.

0:58:170:58:21

Jodie has got a job and been on her first ever holiday abroad.

0:58:210:58:25

And Mike has continued to do stand-up, including a gig in London.

0:58:260:58:30

As for Rhod Gilbert, well,

0:58:300:58:33

he finally managed to drink a coffee in a cafe.

0:58:330:58:35

Next time round, he's hoping to order a slice of cake, as well.

0:58:360:58:39

Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS