Episode 1 Lose Weight for Love

Obesity in Britain has reached crisis level but, for many couples,

there's one thing that stops them from beating it - each other.

You don't feel so bad, I think, if you've got a partner in crime.

Stuck in a rut of poor diets and overeating,

it's threatening not only their health but their relationships.

You try to sabotage, every time I try to lose weight.

It's causing us to have the relationship break-up,

-which is what we don't want.

-Yeah.

-I'm Professor Tanya Byron.

I'm a clinical psychologist. I want to try something radical and new.

-My God!

-Four overweight couples have agreed to live apart...

We're going to do this, aren't we?

-I love you.

-..because I'm going to separate them.

Couples stuck in an unhealthy rut can be each other's worst enemies,

so the theory is, dramatic change happens first

when we separate the couple.

I'm glad that he's a bit scared. I am.

Each week, I'll work with one couple to try to get to

the root of what's behind their overeating.

Only when they are away from each other

can they start to tackle their demons.

This is my worst nightmare, this.

And through a health and fitness plan,

we'll try to change them for good...

-Let's go.

-I've got big feet. This is a disadvantage!

-..and break their bad habits.

-Broccoli!

Will living apart from each other for ten weeks finally succeed

when everything else has failed?

I've wanted to give up at least seven times a day, every day.

If it doesn't work and he's not changed,

then me and Pete aren't going to work.

Is that the massive wheelbarrow that couldn't be carried -

-the massive one?

-Yeah.

IT worker Phil and laundrette assistant Becky

live on the estate Becky grew up on in Warrington, Cheshire.

-What's for tea, Becks?

-Takeaway.

-Takeaway, yeah!

They met four years ago and it was obvious they were kindred spirits.

She said, "Do you want a pack of crisps?" And I was like,

"Yeah, go on, then." And that was it, really, wasn't it?

-It was just love at first bite!

-Yeah.

Each has a daughter from earlier relationships -

Phil's ten-year-old, Jamie Lee, and Becky's daughter, Katie Lee.

And just five months ago, Phil and Becky had baby Trudie together.

There you go.

It was awful when was pregnant cos she put nothing on

and I put three stone on.

Their cycle of overeating has caused Phil

and Becky to pile on the weight.

Food-wise, we are bad for each other because you're always

the one who suggests the bad food while I just go, "Yeah."

And Becky's sister, Danika, has seen the effect first-hand.

She's always been bigger than average,

and then she did meet Phil, he was big, so that didn't help.

I think it just gradually got worse and worse

and she's never getting any smaller.

It's no mystery what their weakness is.

-Fizzy pop is definitely our biggest downfall.

-Stash of pop!

-Look at that!

-Most nights, me and Phil have one of these each.

It's more of an addiction. It's like crack cocaine to an addict.

I can't go a day without it.

But Phil has lost weight before, pre-Becky.

Heaviest I've been was sort of 2009/10, which was 30 stone.

His method was extreme.

I had a gastric bypass and I lost about 15 stone in just under a year

and I've just gone back to old habits. Why?

I wish there was an answer where I could say,

I do it for this reason, but I just don't know.

I really don't.

But since being together, Phil has put on 10 stones in just four years

and Becky has put on a further three.

They have tried everything to stop their weight from spiralling

-out of control.

-I've done GI, I've done Atkins.

You even did the shrink-wrap thing.

I bought some special cream that you had to put on

and then wrap yourself in clingfilm.

And I said, you try that first. If it works for you, I'll have a go.

-It didn't work.

-It didn't work.

Now Phil and Becky feel like they have run out of options and

they are willing to try something new - they're going to separate.

We need to be away from each other to change our habits,

and then, when we come back together, our habits will be better.

And then, not go back to the old ways cos

if we did, I think that would end up causing us

to have the relationship break-up, which is what we don't want.

Yeah.

Today, they are on their way to meet me

and my team before separating for ten weeks.

It's a brave decision

but it could be the only way to fix their health and their relationship.

Feeling very nervous, to be honest.

-Very nervous.

-I think the next time we meet,

there's going to be a lot of pain and tears and tantrums, probably.

-But we're going to fix ourselves.

-We hope.

-We hope.

I think this could very well be the moment where life changes.

That's what I'm finding quite daunting.

Couples stuck in an unhealthy rut can be each other's worst enemies,

so the theory is dramatic change happens first

when we separate the couple,

and that is what Phil and Becky have agreed to do.

Helping me crack their deep-seated bad habits is behavioural scientist

Paul Dolan and physiologist Rick Shakes-Brathwaite,

who will carry out a full medical so that he can give them diet

and fitness programmes tailor-made for each of them

to follow during the separation.

Deep breaths. You'll be fine.

-Hi, Phil, Becky, how are you?

-You all right?

-Good to see you.

-I'm going to ask if ladies go first? Is that all right?

-Good luck.

So we're going to start off with a body composition machine.

It doesn't just give me weight - it tells me how much fat tissue

you have, how much muscle tissue you have, how much water is in the body.

All of that gives me an idea of, do you have the tools to do what

I ask you to do?

By putting them under the microscope, he can see

the effect their unhealthy lifestyle has had on their bodies.

-What exercise do you do?

-I do play football, believe it or not.

Just pull your T-shirt up so I can get to your chest.

And flag up any warning signs for diseases such as diabetes

and high blood pressure, commonly associated with obesity.

I need to look at the mechanics of the heart on ultrasound

because I need to make sure that your heart is healthy

before we give you any exercise programmes.

One of the most important tests is to put

you on the treadmill to see how your blood pressure responds to exercise.

-You seem to be short of breath. Is this common?

-This is normal, yes.

So you're short of breath, not even exercising?

Shortness of breath could be a symptom of high blood pressure

as the heart works harder to pump blood around the body.

This, combined with Phil's excess weight, could be fatal.

-I'm just going to have to stop the testing, OK?

-OK.

I'll tell you more about these results in a while, OK?

More than 60% of people put on weight

when they're in a comfortable relationship.

Phil and Becky are an example of this.

Ten weeks apart should give them a chance to lose weight and, without

the influence of the other, help me tackle their bad habits around food.

So, my first question to you is, why have you agreed to do this with us?

We do try every single fad diet going.

If you name the fad diet, we've probably tried it, every Monday.

Every Monday. We start a diet every single Monday.

By Tuesday, dinner, I'm usually crying.

He's normally, "I've had enough," and we start eating rubbish again.

You've got three children between you. That's right?

So, how worried are you for them,

given your concerns about yourselves?

They're probably the major reason we're doing this, really.

We want to be around a long time for those, we want to see them grow up.

That fear that you have of not being here for the children, we want

to turn that into motivation cos the fear in itself isn't enough.

Rick obviously needs to talk you through some of the test results.

-Becky?

-Yeah?

-I understand you suffer with asthma?

-Yeah, yeah.

-OK.

Asthma gets worse as you put on more weight,

-so the more we lose weight, the better the asthma will get.

-Yep.

You smoke as well and you're eating poorly

and drinking lots of fizzy pop.

-Yep.

-This is why you're 17 stone at present, OK?

-It's dreadful.

-You need to lose five stone of fat.

-It's a lot, isn't it?

-OK?

-Yeah.

-Phil, you were worried. So am I. OK?

-OK.

You've had a gastric bypass and you've bypassed a bypass!

And that's a really difficult place to be. You OK, buddy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Is this just cos you know it's going to be bad?

-Yeah.

-Come on.

-Your actual weight is 24 stone.

You need to lose 10 stone of fat, just to be functional

and be out of the danger zone.

You're short of breath, just walking around. That's not great.

What's also not great is your blood pressure.

Your blood pressure is far too high.

If it's allowed to stay at high levels all the time, it puts

a tremendous strain on the heart.

That's why I stopped your exercise test,

because your blood pressure was at a very dangerous level.

You're not in a safe position for me

to even write an exercise programme for you at this stage.

This has got to be it.

If it doesn't go well, I won't be there, we will never see

those children grow up, so if this doesn't scare me, nothing else well.

I'm going to do everything in my power to help you change this, OK?

So, what would success look like? What are you asking us to do?

Just not being in the place where I am right now,

knocking on death's door, by the sounds of things.

We need to be able to say to people, we can actually do this,

cos everybody knows that we can't do it.

We believe that you can do this and you will grow old with your kids.

Use us, make us work as hard for you as you want us to

and we will see a change.

It's a lot to take in, isn't it? So you have some time together, OK?

All right?

All right. It's all we've got to do.

-All right. We'll be all right.

-OK? Come on, Team Us.

-You said your goodbyes?

-Yep.

-Yes.

-All right, Phil. Well, time to go.

See you later.

It will be ten weeks before Phil and Becky set eyes on each other again.

-Are you sure this is the right thing?

-Yeah.

-It's just I'm not going to see him now for ten weeks.

-Yeah.

He'd just better do it.

-Are you worried he won't?

-Yeah.

I said, you've already been given one chance and messed it up.

Don't mess this one up. I'm glad that he's been scared. I am.

I don't cry very often.

One was when Trudie was born and one was

when Steven Gerrard did that speech at the end of this Man City game!

We won 3-2.

Ten weeks feels like forever at the moment.

Feel like I'm never going to see him again.

During the separation, Phil will live with family friend Denise...

-Home sweet home!

-..conveniently in her home gym.

-Eurgh!

Jesus Christ, it weighs a tonne!

The first day for the rest of my life.

A long, long life, hopefully!

Becky's holding the fort at home with Katie Lee and baby Trudie.

Don't like being on my own. It's not nice.

To help them focus on themselves, they've agreed,

for the first three weeks, to have no contact at all.

It feels like we've split up. It does feel like we've split up.

And, like, quite a bitter split up as well

because we're not communicating.

During the separation,

Rick has set them a target - to lose an average of two pounds a week.

Before now, Becky would consume up to 3,000 calories a day -

around 1,000 more than the recommended daily allowance

for a woman.

And so, a dietician has devised a food programme where the key

-is portion control.

-It's actually not that bad.

I was surprised with some of the stuff, though.

Cereal - it's 40g of cereal.

If you measure out 40g of cereal, it fits in the baby's bowl.

That must be illegal!

Phil's getting help with his diet plan from Denise.

You've got three fat left, cos you had butter on your bread.

They can eat most things,

but by watching exactly what they eat, in minute detail,

the weight should start to drop off, and more importantly, stay off.

I just hope Becky is picking it up as well, cos if she doesn't

follow it, all of this is for nothing, isn't it, really?

Both Phil and Becky get off to a good start

and are sticking to their food plans.

Phil has even replaced the two litres of fizzy pop

he used to drink every day with water.

But Rick is worried about his high blood pressure.

At 24 stone, Phil's heart is having to work so hard to pump

blood around his body that any overexertion could prove fatal.

-How's it going, y'all right?

-Come on in.

-Can I come in?

For now, Rick wants to keep a close eye on Phil's condition.

So this is your blood pressure monitor.

It records your blood pressure for 24 hours, every half an hour.

-I can't really give you a programme until we get this sorted out.

-OK.

What you can start doing now is you can start going for walks,

-so the other thing I've got for you is a pedometer.

-OK.

I'm going to set you a goal of 5,000 steps per day.

By the end of 10 weeks,

you'll regularly be doing 10,000 steps a day.

-Brilliant.

-All right?

'High blood pressure is a very serious issue.

'If it's uncontrolled for too long,'

it can cause the heart to

change its shape and stop it from working properly altogether.

But one of the key issues is about the pipes in the body.

If you've got high pressure of fluid going through those pipes

all the time, it starts to tear on the inside.

The tears cause clots and when you get a clot on the inside of

an artery, if it finds its way up to the brain, that's a stroke.

If it finds its way around the heart, that's a heart attack.

-That's how serious it is.

-Can we go for a run?!

Just to the end? Just to there?!

Not with the blood pressure!

'If we did take him up on that joke and ran to the end of the street,'

he could have a heart attack at the end of the road here.

That's it.

CUTLERY CLINKS

That's scary.

I don't think the bottom one is supposed to go over 100,

-I think that's dangerous.

-Ah, it'll be reet.

Well, that's the thing, that you just keep brushing it aside.

It's really scary.

Everyone I know who's had a heart attack's in their 60s or 70s.

I think that's really scary,

he's only 37 and there is a possibility that that could happen.

And he just brushes everything off.

I am getting peed off that I can't go and play football this Sunday.

I'll be all right. I just don't see the point of doing things by halves.

May as well just get on with it, crack on with it and get it done.

I'm not surprised that Phil is frustrated,

but this all-or-nothing thinking has made him relapse before.

In the past, Phil's weight has yo-yoed dangerously.

At his heaviest, he was 30 stone and to lose that weight,

he took the extreme decision to have a gastric bypass...

only to put it all back on again.

I need to try to understand why this keeps happening.

When did the weight become an issue for you?

I was living with my ex-partner and then I'd moved out of there

cos that relationship broke down,

then to just being on my own and feeling quite alone.

And then kind of ate to feel better,

if you like. So then I...

got to the point where I was literally 30 stone

so went to see a doctor, asked him about gastric bypass...

And you lost weight and got fit quickly?

-Yes, inside a year, I'd dropped 15 stone.

-That's amazing.

-So when did it all go wrong again?

-Me and Becky went on our first holiday.

My dad said, "Relax, you're on holiday.

"You don't have to do all this."

And then, next thing you know, here we are.

Having had a gastric bypass, you cheated.

I'd have three or four sittings, possibly more.

So eating, letting it empty a bit,

eating, letting it empty a bit...

-Mm.

-Wow.

-It was all and then nothing.

-Yeah.

To be fair, my dad said to me a lot of times, "You need to lose weight",

-and I shrugged that off.

-You didn't want to hear it?

-No, I didn't.

At any point, I could have stopped it all. But I didn't.

Because?

I... I have no idea why.

Unless we work that out, it could happen again.

My assessment of him is he's a very black-and-white thinker.

Very all-or-nothing kind of guy.

People with that kind of black-and-white thinking are much

more at risk of relapsing,

plus compromise is very difficult.

At some stage, he will be moving back in with Becky

and the kids, so the black-and-white thinking style is something

we really do need to challenge.

CAT MIAOWS

Watch. He'll cry in a minute.

By sticking to the food plan,

Becky is now eating 1,500 calories a day.

I told you!

..and passing her new habits on to her daughter, Katie Lee.

Do you like the pasta? Cos it's different.

Now that she's eating well for the first time in five years,

Rick is keen to start her on a strict exercise regime.

The healthy eating and exercise will speed up Becky's metabolism

and help her lose at least two pounds a week.

But Rick is hoping she can exceed that.

For Becky, I have high expectations.

She's got really strong legs,

she's actually got a really strong upper body as well.

What's missing with Becky is the middle section,

so her core strength is weak.

-Hi!

-Supporting Becky is younger sister Danika.

I'm going to teach you what is called an interval routine.

It's actually called a Tabata,

and what that is is a four-minute routine

where you go hard for 20 seconds, stop for 10 seconds,

hard for 20 seconds, stop for 10 seconds.

So, two feet in...two feet in.

-Two feet in.

-Just do that?

Two feet in, two feet in, two feet in.

I can see me getting in a tangle.

-Do I have to put my feet flat?

-Doesn't matter.

-Feels a bit silly.

-OK!

-Now sideways.

-I can see me falling over!

-No, you won't fall over.

-Face that way... I've got big feet!

-This is a disadvantage.

-That's why you stay on your toes more.

So I want two feet in, two feet in, two feet in for 20 seconds,

as many times as you can. Go!

-Interval training speeds up fat loss.

-I'm doing it wrong, now.

-No, you're doing it right.

-Ooh!

Short bursts of tough exercise with rest in between

-burns more calories than less intense exercise for longer.

-Eugh!

-I don't know what I'm doing!

-You will get used to it.

-It does knacker you out.

-It DOES knacker you out!

Although we have a lot more work to do.

And go!

The main thing that jumps out to me

with Becky is a distinct lack of confidence.

She was ready to go, "Oh, I'm doing it the wrong way, I'll quit.

"I'll walk away."

That's a little frustrating for me, because I know that she's

very physically capable of doing anything I ask.

You can do this, but if she doesn't have it up here,

it will all fall apart.

And that makes time!

Welcome to the Marines, Becks!

So far, Becky is doing all that we've asked of her,

but as Rick found out, she lacks confidence.

-Hiya!

-Hello!

-How are you?

-I'm OK, thanks.

-Nice to see you.

-Nice to see you.

'I'm curious to know where this has come from.

'If we don't get to the bottom of it,

'it could sabotage all her good work.'

-So... When I came in...

-Yeah.

..I saw a big frame of photos which feels like they're important people.

-They're pictures of my mum, but I'll bring it.

-OK, all right.

-And this is your mum?

-Yes.

She passed away when I was ten...

-and we went into care.

-You went into care?

-Yeah.

-How old were you when you first went into care?

-I'd say about six

or seven. About six, yeah.

And then the last time I was in care, I was ten.

-That must have been really traumatic for you.

-Yeah, it was, but...

-It was the norm for me.

-So why do you think it's got to this point?

I think it was pure laziness with me and I couldn't be bothered.

But it isn't really just about lazy.

When I hear you talk to me about how "every Monday I start a diet

"but then I just can't and then on Tuesday...

"and then I can't and we get a takeaway..."

I feel like you've sort of given up, in a way - "What's the point?

"Will it make a difference?"

I need to lose so much weight, I think to myself, for me,

-that's impossible.

-You don't believe it, do you? You see, this is wha...

Cos I don't normally get what I want. You don't always get what you want.

Well, you certainly didn't as a child. Life has been very,

very tough on you.

I can understand why the mind-set you have is one that

when it starts to become difficult...

..you just think, "Oh, sod it, what's the point, it doesn't matter.

"I can't any more."

Losing a bit of weight is the journey towards the end goal.

It's not, "Oh, it's just a bit of weight, I've still got so much more to lose".

There's a whole shift we need in your mind-set.

I know, and like I said... I know, I know.

People who go into any kind of challenge believing that

they're going to fail are likely to do that.

It's called a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Becky really has low confidence in her ability, so for me,

it really is about helping her

explore this really negative mind-set she gets into

and not create a self-fulfilling prophecy around failure,

because we want her to succeed in order to prove to herself

that she can think herself into success - in all areas of her life.

After only three weeks

of eating healthily, there is less fat around Phil's vital organs,

which will help lower his blood pressure.

Doing fine with the steps, getting at least 5,000 a day in, easy.

Not a problem.

Moderate activities such as walking pose little health risk,

yet still help to burn calories.

But Phil is still desperate to up the ante and lose more weight.

I know I can do more - just go out and train,

get back to football as well on Sundays.

Do what I like to do,

rather than just a little bit of walking here and there.

While Phil gets to grips with going at a slower pace than he's

used to, Becky's lack of self-confidence is rearing its head.

And she's finding the reality of being apart from her partner

the hardest bit of all.

Everything is turned upside down, I don't like it.

It's just rubbish.

Phil is not there, it's like the whole routine's just changed.

In the mornings, he's normally there to help me out and he's not there.

The whole family's been like, split up

and obviously Phil's at Denise's,

so he's got Denise there and all that and I'm just plonked on my own.

I've wanted to give up at least seven times a day every day.

In all honesty. Every hour.

I just hope he's sticking to it, I'll be really cross if he's not.

Today, Becky will get to find out for herself

when she gets to talk to Phil for the first time in three weeks.

-Hello?

-Hello!

-'You all right?'

-How are you getting on?

-'It's been weird.'

I didn't realise how much of a racket you made in this house!

'It's you, shouting!'

You do make a racket, cos it's been dead quiet!

You'd better be being good, Phil.

Becky, I come home from work, go for a massive long, walk -

-I have to do 10,000 steps a day.

-Get out of town!

-'No, I have!'

Have you been sick?

-No.

-'What's Rick said'

-about your health and that now?

-'My blood pressure's coming down.'

-'OK.'

-So it's getting better.

-Are you missing me?

-Course I'm missing you!

-Like a hole in the head.

-'No, serious. Of course I'm missing you.'

I do love you.

'You've nothing to worry about. Everything...

'is cushty.'

-Phil...

-'What?'

-I love you.

-'I love you, too.'

-'Don't worry about anything.'

-Bye.

Bye.

That has made me feel better.

Speaking to him, it has made me feel better.

And he even told me he loves me, I don't get that very often!

If the kids went to bed now, life would be perfect!

Katie Lee, it's bedtime!

I said, "Are you missing me?"

-He said, "I am a bit".

-A bit!

He must be missing me, cos he told me he loves me

-and he doesn't normally tell me that.

-Aw, bless him.

-How is he getting on, though?

-He said he's doing all right,

but could've been sat there eating a tube of Pringles for all I know!

What he tells me and what he does...

"Yeah, I'm getting on dead well, me!"

Following her phone call with Phil, Becky is on a high.

But Rick has now added a run to her exercise programme to

increase her rate of fat loss. She's roped in sister Danika for support.

I'm losing my pants!

Oh, I'm on a hill, this ain't fair. Budge up!

But Becky struggles to keep up.

Keep walking, speed walk.

And yet again, starts to lose confidence in her ability.

I can't breathe very well.

-Becky, you'll never be able to do anything if you keep stopping.

-I know.

-That's just ridiculous.

I know you're overweight, but you really shouldn't be smoking

if you're getting that short of breath, like that.

I start panicking, thinking I can't breathe.

You're doing my head in, you're pissing me off, to be fair.

-All right.

-All right, are you ready?

Attempt two. Come on.

'I find it really frustrating, because she struggles.

'She's always like, "I can't do it, I'm not going to be able to do it,"

the whole time, doubting herself.

It does my head in.

Go as fast as you can!

I know it's my own fault cos of smoking, but I physically

feel like I'm going to die cos I can't breathe any more.

And then Danika saying, "it's your own fault",

that made me feel even worse.

Don't come near me!

I'll be all right in a minute, just give me a minute.

And that's why I've always quit.

Because...

-To be honest, I didn't think it was that bad, you know.

-All right!

While Becky is finding it hard,

Phil is feeling the benefits of a change in lifestyle.

Have you arranged teams already?

His blood pressure has been steadily coming down and he's been told

he can step up his exercise,

so he's decided to play a game of football with the lads.

Should be all right.

Long as I don't die!

But Rick is still concerned and has come along to keep a close eye out

for any warning signs that he might be overdoing it.

I wanted to come down to see what sort of exercise Phil was doing

and how that had an effect on his blood pressure.

I did tell him when last we spoke, he was allowed to do light exercise.

I want to see how light it actually was.

-How you feeling, Phil?

-All right.

He seems really short of breath to me. He's telling me he's all right.

-I'm not sure about that.

-I call that half-time.

Phil, how you doing?

Yeah, the sun's in my eyes!

Good.

So, pop your shirt off for me,

I'm going to take your blood pressure straight away.

Have a seat for me.

-Do you want to guess where your blood pressure is now?

-Now?

Quite high?

-Right, OK.

-Yeah?

Although blood pressure does go up with exercise,

anything above 100/90 is cause for concern.

The boys can do the second half, but we're going to have to sub you out.

I can't let you play football.

It's medically ill advised for you to play football at the moment.

Not that you've done anything wrong,

but like so many people out there, you're unaware of what your blood

pressure is doing because you're not feeling the symptoms of it.

I'm not a scaremonger, but you're really pushing it here.

-I mean, to a point where you can't come back from, you know?

-OK.

Gutted. But there's only one person to blame for that, and that's me.

HE SPITS

Buddy, I need you to calm down as much as possible, OK?

Because even this sort of frustration that you're feeling

raises your blood pressure.

There are 62,000 deaths related to blood pressure per year.

You're not going to be one of those statistics, not with me on board.

OK?

Just calm down. All right?

For his own safety, Rick will continue to monitor Phil's blood pressure and for now,

he must stick to a programme

of healthy eating and just walking.

And it has come as a bitter disappointment to Phil.

When I see Becky, I don't want to still be looking similar,

I'd rather have lost a good few stone,

to show her that I've done well and that probably won't happen now.

Just for the fact that I can't do the exercise.

Phil and Becky have made it to the halfway point and today,

I've asked Rick to weigh them for the first time.

I feel quite nervous and apprehensive,

in case I've not done that well.

I'm disappointed, cos at the end of the day if I'd been able to run

or go and play football or box or something, I'd have lost more.

It's quite difficult to control the emotions right now.

When we last met, he was very angry about the results

and I understand his anger, but this isn't about a ten-week

programme, it's about the rest of his life, not a fad diet,

where you lose weight and pile it back on three weeks later.

He has to understand that he needs to take his time.

I have stopped you from exercising.

Just by eating healthily

and walking, you've lost 13 lbs.

-That's a hell of an achievement.

-Not bad, is it, not too shabby!

How do you feel?

I feel good, cos obviously I'm going in the right direction,

-that's brilliant.

-There you go, buddy. Well done.

Phil has surpassed Rick's target of losing two pounds a week,

-by three pounds.

-I'm over the moon.

Without doing anything physical, I've lost close to a stone,

so I know that I'm doing the right things.

I hope Becky's lost weight, just for herself, so she can see

the fact that this thing is working, and we are both on the right track.

Becky has had to follow a tougher exercise programme than Phil.

She has struggled with self-confidence,

but has persevered and is sticking to eating her 1,500 calories a day.

What if I've not lost any weight?

If I've not, it's when usually I would quit.

In terms of weight, you've lost one stone and three pounds.

Better than I'd thought!

-Didn't think I'd lost none, so that's all right!

-It's amazing!

You've lost three pounds of fat per week for the last four weeks.

I feel a bit better now,

knowing I've done something, cos I was really panicking.

Really panicking.

Losing over a stone in just five weeks would boost most

people's confidence, but to change the mind-set of a lifetime,

Becky needs something bigger.

I've asked Rick to set a challenge that if she succeeds,

-even Becky can't brush off.

-Lots of people do 5Ks,

-lots of people do 10Ks.

-Mm-hm.

-I'm going to ask you to do a half marathon. Yeah?

-Right, OK.

Becky has just five weeks to train for a 13½-mile run.

At the minute, I don't believe I can run how much he's asked me to run...

But I'm willing to see.

When Becky came in here today

and I gave her these amazing results, she didn't seem convinced.

And the challenge becomes that much more important,

because it requires a lot of hard work,

but more importantly, it requires a lot of self-belief.

That's the only way she can achieve it.

Becky Penny doesn't run half marathons!

Becky Penny can't run for a bus!

In the past, Becky has started a diet only to quit every time.

To challenge that,

I've deliberately given her a task she'd normally give up on.

Becky needs evidence to show herself that she can

succeed at something that feels like an enormous challenge to her.

-So Rick set you a challenge.

-Yes.

I just don't think it sounds realistic at all.

You are so frightened of failing, aren't you?

Not frightened of it, I expect to fail.

Why can't you give yourself permission to say,

"I'm going to succeed?"

I'm not going to say I can do something that at the moment,

I don't think I can do. But I'm going to try and do it.

I just genuinely believe that I can't do it.

So you're going to try for something you genuinely believe you can't do?

Yes.

-You are hard!

-I know I am!

But, it's just me being realistic,

I just don't see the point being unrealistic.

But I think this realism comes from having been through some

really tough times in your life, because you said to me

"things don't generally turn out well for me".

If you don't expect something, then if it does happen, it's a bonus, isn't it?

So actually, the person you need to prove this to is yourself, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Why have you done so well?

So far?

Who's made it work?

Well, I've just followed the rules.

No, because with diets, normally, I don't do proper diets.

Who has made this...

be a success?

-So far?

-Me.

Thank you! Hoping that you might succeed

isn't why you succeed.

Believing you're going to succeed is why you succeed.

-OK.

-She's hard-core.

She's absolutely nailed in this very negative self-belief

and helping her shift that mind-set is absolutely crucial,

because sustaining and maintaining change means that

when you do wobble or make a mistake or think you might be "failing",

you've got to then think positively to move yourself back out of it

and get yourself back on track.

With four weeks to go,

Phil is embracing the

right way to lose weight - slowly.

He's walking over 10,000 steps a day and his confidence is soaring.

I feel great, what can I say?

I've dropped a trouser size, I've had to order new uniform, brilliant.

And I feel like I've probably grown up a lot in the last four weeks now.

So I've decided that I'll just take my time,

it's not a sprint to the end, it's a marathon.

It's me retraining myself completely from scratch.

And in the kitchen, he's still counting the calories.

Who would have thought this time last year I'd have put chilli in a pepper and roasted it?

Nobody. And here we are.

That is a taste sensation! And also, I have created...this.

The food planning bible.

-Would you like to see it?

-Yeah, please.

So what I've done is created an Excel spreadsheet with all

the things that I'm allowed to eat and what this then does is

calculate what I've got left throughout the day.

It's even colour-coordinated!

So we know what exactly is what.

What's let us down in the past is we had no set plan to anything,

so hopefully this will help me and Becky plan our meals.

It's just there, just go and do it.

Tanya seems to think there's a problem here and there, maybe,

but I knew that I didn't need psychologising...

The bible said, "Eat this". Sussed.

But Phil thought that he'd sussed it before when he had a gastric bypass.

I'm worried that his way of thinking is very black and white

and so one slip-up could cause him to fall off the wagon

and put the weight back on.

So I've met up with Rick and behavioural specialist

Professor Paul Dolan to discuss how to move forward.

The problem there is that he takes things to extremes

and pushes too hard.

I get the message from him, which is "Look, I'm fine now,

"I don't really need any more intervention", it's a

very black-and-white view of things.

Which feels to him like he's being very strong and focused,

it actually makes him quite vulnerable to relapse.

It'll take the slightest little trigger,

maybe he'll have one can of Coke,

and then it'll be too late for him to pay attention to us, so we need

to do something with him now that stops the past repeating itself.

With only three weeks to go before Phil gets back with Becky,

Paul wants to minimise Phil's chances of relapse

and has discovered an experimental method that might just work.

I've found some evidence that shows that you can essentially rewire

the brain of an alcoholic to make them less likely to drink again.

If it works with alcoholics, can it work with Phil?

I will explain to you afterwards,

-but I don't want to say too much in advance.

-OK.

In the following task,

you will be presented images either in landscape or portrait format.

Pull the joystick towards you if you see an image in portrait format.

Push the joystick away from you

if you see an image in landscape format.

Got it?

Mixed in with pictures of animals are shots of fizzy

and healthy drinks.

Phil will obviously notice this, but the question is,

how much will he notice?

How much quicker is he pushing away healthy drinks compared to

what he loves, fizzy drinks?

You are faster at pushing away healthy drinks

than you are fizzy drinks.

This suggests that your fast brain,

your automatic system is wired in a way that lends itself for you

to be drawn towards fizzy drinks over healthy drinks.

So, without even realising it, Phil is lingering over the fizzy

drinks longer than he does the healthy drinks.

I've found in these past seven weeks that I've got something that

I never knew I had - which is willpower.

And I haven't touched a drop.

I have a view that's based on good evidence that our past speaks

to our future...much more than intentions or willpower do.

So when willpower is weak - it doesn't say strong

all the time - you may well...

get sucked back in again.

Well, I'm seven weeks clean.

Even though Phil can't imagine falling off the wagon ever again,

Paul starts phase two - the brain training.

This time Phil is shown only drinks.

He has to push away the fizzy drinks

and pull healthy drinks towards him.

Push the fizzy, pull the healthy.

Does it over and over again...

and it rewires his automatic brain.

By repeatedly pushing away fizzy drinks,

Phil is learning an automatic response to avoid them.

So what I want you to do is do this again over the next four days.

15 minutes each time.

This kind of experiment has been done with alcoholics,

with anxiety disorders, with public speaking.

And in every case, there is a change.

In the case of the alcoholics, 13% difference between people

that did this intervention and those that were in the control group.

That's a huge effect.

Anything that will stop me reaching for that fizzy drinks is

probably the best outcome, cos then we're on a better path to health.

In a week, Phil will be retested to see if the brain training has

made an impact on his ingrained weakness for fizzy drink.

With just two weeks to go

before Becky attempts to run a half marathon,

-she's doing all she can to train.

-That's awful!

-But it still seems out of reach.

-I'm quite doubtful at the minute.

Very doubtful.

Becky always put herself down a lot, she never believes in herself.

When you tell her she can do something, she just beats herself up

and gives every excuse under the sun that she can't do it when she can.

I've really not noticed it before, how bad it is,

but then I get really stressed out with her

cos she says, "I can't, I can't", I'm like, "You can! You can do it!

"Just believe in yourself."

I really don't know where it's come from,

but she needs to snap out of it.

BABY CRIES

With time ticking, Becky needs Danika's encouragement like

never before and so I have to help them reach a better understanding.

I've never really noticed it before,

how much you lack in confidence and how bad you are.

Well, I'm not going to go, "I've got no confidence, me"

You're not going to go up to someone and say it.

-Do you not feel like anything I do can help you?

-Yeah!

You do, like when I was doing that ladder.

You was being really encouraging and that made me feel like, yeah,

I did it better because you was there.

But when we did that run, the things you were saying made me feel worse.

You need to be going, "Right, she's really anxious now".

And rather than confront it, you kind of need to talk her down.

I just need to just be a bit more gentle with you, really!

But I don't want you now, because of this, to think all the time,

"Oh, I can't say this in front of Becky", treading on eggshells.

-What you're thinking now, is...you're being selfish.

-Mm-hm.

You're not being selfish,

you're asking someone to understand you better and help you.

That's what your sister is saying, let me be part of that.

-She loves you.

-I need to be here to help you, to support you

-when you get these anxieties.

-That's right.

You're going to calm down...

-And I am, too.

-Yeah!

-Yay! Look at that, brilliant. Well done.

When we're anxious,

our brain becomes our bully, telling us we're not good enough,

we can't achieve things.

And so someone who offers an alternative perspective

helps us create our own more positive, strong internal voice.

Ready? Go!

Over the next week,

Danika supports Becky by helping her build up her core strength.

-You're doing well, Becky.

-I'm dying, here!

-Come on, don't give up!

-And Rick pops by to focus on her technique and stamina.

-Let's go!

When you want to start running, you pace yourself

and you set yourself steadily.

Run for a very short distance or period of time,

then walk for a distance. Walk it.

You build up the times and you build the distances.

That's how you build up running for beginners. How does that feel?

A lot easier than normal. I still don't think I'll be able to do it.

For Phil, life is moving at a much slower pace.

He's had the kids every week, but it's not the same.

I'm actually missing home and little things, like, Becky constantly

texting and ringing, just for daft little things most of the time.

But there is some good news.

Eight weeks of healthy eating

and constant walking has meant his blood pressure has dropped

to a healthy level and finally, he can step up his exercise programme.

Got the old ticker going!

Paul's brain training is working, too.

In fact, Phil's now three times as attracted to healthy drinks

as he ever was to fizzy drinks.

But will that be enough to stop him from relapsing in the future?

With just one week to go before Phil and Becky are reunited,

I'm still concerned that Phil risks falling off the wagon.

I want to set up a safety net that he can use

if he ever feels he's going off-track in the future.

I've asked his friends and family to help me out.

How are you, my friend?

..I'm OK!

-Very surprised by this.

-Good to see you. Surprised by this?

-Yes.

When we leave - behaviour, health, fitness,

that's not going to be a problem for you.

But it is about relapse and it is about how can this be

different to all the other times you've managed this?

I am not that person that I was when we started this.

Maybe...the people close to you need to hear you say that.

You're not looking too chuffed!

Let's just do it, let's get it out of the way.

-I bet you're shocked to see us, aren't you?!

-I am!

So, all of us know that past behaviour is the best

predictor of future behaviour.

-People change.

-People do change,

but part of change is being able to have these conversations

and for everybody in your life to feel able to say these things

to you, because in the past, when they have, you've not listened.

-Yeah.

-Are any of you concerned there is a risk?

It's always a concern. You're saying, "I feel that good,

-"I'll go and get a bag of chips".

-Mm.

But I am now ears and eyes open.

Before, it was easy, even with the gastric bypass, it was easy,

I didn't have to think about anything.

But this hasn't been an easy process at all.

Nobody likes looking at themselves in the mirror, do they?

And realising, picking fault with themselves, no-one likes to do that.

And I've had to do that, and you've made me do that a lot of the time,

and this is why I've probably grown up a little bit.

We're going to do things differently

and I want Becky to be involved and we can support each other.

Absolutely.

And I hope now you feel really strong about everything.

-I do.

-I don't think you're going to relapse this time.

-I'm thinking you've learned your lesson!

-You look quite emotional.

Well, it's an emotional moment, isn't it?

It was a bit of a breakthrough moment, really,

and I think what he's done is given his friends

and his family permission to support him in the future,

and that's a really good thing.

The ten weeks are nearly up and for Becky, it's her ultimate test -

the half marathon.

Will she, for the first time in her life,

be able to believe in herself enough to finish the challenge?

You'll be fine, stop panicking.

-I feel sick.

-You'll be all right.

Calm down. Stop panicking.

Becky... Once you get into it, you'll be all right.

KLAXON BLARES

Right - love you. See you in a bit.

Go on, Beck. Go on, Beck!

She's panicking a lot at the minute.

Give her five minutes or so, she'll be all right.

Hopefully.

Becky makes a bold start...

At the halfway mark, Danika is waiting.

13 miles is a long way. I couldn't do it.

-Thank you.

-Come on, Beck.

-How are you, all right?

-No!

You're doing brilliantly!

-You're doing really well, keep going! D'you need the toilet?

-Yeah!

-There's one there!

-Oh, no, I'm all right!

Keep going, you're doing really well!

She's doing all right, she doesn't even look tired!

I feel a bit better now...

She's not panicking, I was thinking she'd come out of the car

and be on the floor.

She's doing all right.

-You're doing really, really well, Beck, come on!

-I can't feel my feet or my hands.

It's all right, just keep going - that's probably a good thing!

-Look how fat they've got!

-You'll be all right, just keep drinking water.

You're doing really, really well.

Come on!

-ECHOING VOICEOVER:

-Everybody knows that we can't do it...

That we can't do it...

We can't do it...

But I want to prove them wrong...

-PA:

-'..into the last 200 metres!'

Come on, Beck!

'It's hurting you now,

'I can see it in your face, but you're nearly there!'

Well done, Beck!

-'You've done it!'

-APPLAUSE

-That was

-BLEEP.

I'm never doing that ever again in me life!

The average half marathon time for women is a little over two hours.

Becky's done it in just three.

-Are you all right?

-No.

-Why, what's up?

-Not functioning very well.

-Give me a hug.

Aw, well done.

You done really, really well.

I hope that I've proved everyone wrong.

About yourself?

Still working on meself!

Are you not proud of yourself?

Honest to God, Becky, I'm so proud of you.

How do you feel?

What's up with you?

I just...wish I didn't find it uncomfortable.

Saying that I've done something good,

or when someone tells me I've done something good.

-You're hard work, sometimes.

-I am hard work!

I'm glad I've done it, though.

The ten-week separation is finally over.

Very soon, Becky and Phil will find out

what they have two show for such a huge sacrifice.

It's the morning of the reunion.

You want to look your best, don't you,

to see her again after ten weeks.

But Phil's hopes go beyond the surface.

Starting afresh and everything to look forward to as a family, and...

Just starting our lives again, really.

Of course, I can't wait to see Becky.

It's very relaxing.

I'll be honest, I didn't think I was going to make ten weeks,

I thought I would have quit.

I think it's been worth it, definitely been worth it.

I just hope that Phil feels the same.

I've enjoyed doing this so much,

I just don't see a way of going back, if I'm honest with you.

We can look forward to having a life

rather than just an existence, really.

I just want to give her a hug.

10 weeks ago, Becky and Phil made the radical and really brave

decision to separate so they could focus, on their own,

on health and wellbeing.

And they've done incredibly well.

This is it, mate. After ten long weeks.

But now they're coming back together.

The question is, can they continue to do as well as they've done,

but can they do it as a couple?

Getting scared again.

Now is when the hardest part begins.

I don't want to do this any more!

Is it too late?

To celebrate their hard work,

I've arranged for their friends and family to surprise them.

Phil and Becky are very different people.

As they reunite and come together as a couple,

it's vitally important that they learn to support one another

in the healthier choices they've made so far.

This is it.

Because it would be a tragedy to come together and undo

all the positive things that they've done over the past ten weeks.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

There he is! Hello!

-How are you?

-All right!

Are you nervous?

-I wasn't...

-LAUGHTER

Now we're getting there, I think.

-How much do you want to see Becky?

-A lot.

So, I think that's what we should do.

One minute.

Oh, I feel sick.

# God only knows

# Why it's taken me so long

# To let my doubts go

Right, let's get out.

# You're the only one that I want

# I don't know why I'm scared

One minute.

# I've been here before

# Every feeling, every word

# I've imagined it all

# You'll never know if you never try

# To forgive your past

# And simply be mine

# I dare you to let me be

WHOOPING AND CHEERING

# Your one and only

# I promise I'm worthy

# To hold in your arms

# So come on and give me the chance

Hiya.

# To prove I'm the one who can

# Walk that mile

I've missed you.

# Until the end starts... #

Are you all right?

Who are you?!

LAUGHTER

-How are you?

-I need to, er, steady myself right now.

I think it's time really for you to know how much change you've made.

Phil, in just ten weeks,

you've actually lost over three stone in fat,

and that's an incredible, incredible feat.

WHOOPING AND CHEERING

Well done, Phil!

Becky, you've lost over two stone in ten weeks.

That's really, really good.

Oh, I feel better now I know I've lost something!

Can you tell Phil what you did last Sunday?

Half marathon. I might have only just made it to the end,

-but I made it to the end.

-You did it?

-Yeah!

-Phil, you've got tears in your eyes.

-Well done.

-Big well done.

-Are you proud of her?

I'm very proud of you.

It's made me realise that I can do some things if I put my mind to it.

A lot of things are going to be different than before you left.

We can't go back to how that was.

-This is just the start, all right?

-OK.

And I will support you more. And we will do this.

Well done. Well done.

This is real crunch time for them.

They can do it on their own,

but they've now got to make it work, really work, as a couple.

Not just for themselves, but for their children.

Phil and Becky are still losing weight.

Now, Phil is four stone lighter in total, and Becky three.

Things are very different from before we did this, innit?

For a start, we've not had a takeaway for three month.

Still not obviously a picture of health,

but we're a lot better than we was, aren't we?

-A lot better.

-A lot better.

Phil and Becky are now maintaining their healthy lifestyle,

and I'm curious to know, what do they think worked?

Hello! Nice to see you!

Hiya! Hi!

Do you think you could have done this

without separating for ten weeks?

-Definitely not.

-Why not?

We were kind of stuck in a really horrible rut that we talked about

on a daily basis of getting out of, but never did anything about it.

It was hard, but it was definitely what made it work.

Has it brought you closer together?

-Becky is expectant, aren't we?

-How pregnant are you?

-Seven weeks!

-Congratulations!

-It happened a bit sooner than before!

-Yeah, bit of a shock!

But it's all good. I'm over the moon.

# I'm in the mood for love

# Simply because you're near me

I think the future is really positive for both of them.

They're supporting each other,

not colluding with each other's bad habits.

That's what they've changed,

and that's why they will maintain their progress.

-Ever-expanding family.

-I know.

We still know we've got a long way to go,

but for the first time in a long time,

I think with both can envision a very happy,

long life together.

Yeah, I'm stuck with him!

Beautiful, isn't she?

And they say romance is dead!

# I'm in the mood for love. #

Next time...

Peter and Celena's unhealthy lifestyle has

meant their relationship has hit a standstill.

There's absolutely no way that I'm going to get married this size.

You are your own worst enemies.

Will separating them for ten weeks...

This is my worst nightmare, this.

..get them back on track?

HE RETCHES

-15 pints?

-Yeah.

-I'll kill him.

-Just doing me head in.

If he's not changed, then me and Pete aren't going to work.