At the Crossroads

These long streets are at the heart of the predominantly Catholic area of Ardoyne in north Belfast.

Many of the children here go to the Holy Cross primary school.

The walk there takes them through the neighbouring Protestant Glenbryn estate.

It's been an area of sectarian tension for generations.

10 years ago, when they returned to school for the new year, this happened:

EXPLOSIONS, CRYING

You're OK, love.

'It was like a battlefield'

only instead of adults involved it was children.

You're fucking dead!

I used to sit and question myself - am I doing the right thing bringing my kids up that road?

They're not meant to walk up!

Who the fuck are you pushing, you fat bastard?

'All I remember is noise.'

It's like a giant crowd in my head.

Fenian bastards!

'She was terrified and because they're young girls'

they didn't do anything wrong.

'People say, "Get over it. It was 10 years ago."'

Fair enough, but I'm still angry.

10 years after the Holy Cross dispute, we've returned to Ardoyne

to meet some of the mothers and daughters caught up in it.

How have the events affected their lives and relationships? What are they doing now?

And has the protest defined how they view the world around them?

SHOUTS, WHISTLES, HORNS BLARE

The Holy Cross protests made headlines worldwide.

The confrontations flared on the back of other quarrels on this road, such as one about flags.

These four mothers were among dozens who led their daughters through the lines of police and army

every weekday for three months.

I'm Tracy Campbell. My daughter is Sarah Jane.

Sarah Jane was 9 years old during the Holy Cross protest.

We didn't really talk about it at that time. That was probably our way of coping with it.

We didn't watch it on television.

And I didn't buy newspapers.

So coping with it, I think, was held back in our house.

It made me feel like, "I don't want to be a part of this.

"I don't want my life bitter at someone because of their religion."

It's just made me want to be a better person because of it, more than anything.

I'm Angie Boyle. This is my daughter Helen. Helen was 10 during the ordeal.

I didn't really expect adults to ever get on like that.

You always assumed they knew where to draw the line, but apparently not. It was very shocking.

We were faced with a wall of hatred

that we couldn't understand.

There's never been Sinn Fein...

We always talked about, you know, the whole effect of it.

I was trying to help Helen not be bitter.

-It's easy to get bitter.

-It didn't work!

Aww, she's not bitter at all, but, em...

What does bitter mean?

-You know?

-I'm not forgetful.

-Yeah...

-So I'm not going to let it go because it happened in the past. Do you know what I mean?

I don't think it should ever have happened and if you bring it up I'll still be angry about it,

-but I don't walk around every day with a dark cloud over my head thinking, "Oh!"

-"I'm the victim."

Just walk straight on!

I'm Lynda Bowes. My daughter is Amanda. Amanda was 9 during the Holy Cross protest.

I still don't know if I protected her enough.

Looking back, should you have just took her out? I don't know.

My heart says, "You were OK."

And at the time I was there, but...

10 years down the line and I wonder. If I seen that on TV,

who in their right mind would do that? Who would take their daughter through that every day for 3 months?

She's got nothing to forgive herself for. There's...

It's... She did nothing wrong.

If anything, she's taught me to stand up for what you believe in.

I mean, she went through so much.

I never seen it.

It was only until after years and I sort of asked her. You see photographs in the paper and that.

So I've seen what she went through and I was like, "I don't understand why you're so ashamed..."

She wasn't ashamed, but she felt so guilty. I never understood why.

SHOUTING ABUSE

I'm Elaine Burns and my daughter Leona was 7 years old during the Holy Cross protest.

Every day you were taking your children through that traumatic experience. Trauma upon trauma.

The world should see that those people tried to murder babies this morning.

I knew there was going to be psychological damage

or emotional damage done and I could see that.

But I had to weigh that against the right to go to school.

Walking there, I had no idea as to why they were objecting to us walking to school.

I had no idea at all. Just...

I didn't know anything about it.

Em...

They just seemed very angry.

-Don't get up here ever!

-Aye, you're hard with the RUC round you.

Yes, the RUC!

The whole experience of Holy Cross has had a major impact on the lives of these mothers and daughters.

The past 10 years have seen much change, so what does the future hold for them all?

Ardoyne is a nationalist area of 7,000 people.

It's long been defined by outsiders by its problems - poverty, crime and sectarian conflict.

Elaine Burns is a community worker, one of the most outspoken parents during the Holy Cross protests.

She received death threats at the time of Holy Cross.

-So your mummy's are all sold then?

-Yes, there's just £60 there.

I'll get her ticked off my wee list.

-And then you let me know how yours go.

-Yeah.

And what about doing the door?

Her way of dealing with Holy Cross 10 years on is by marking the anniversary with a reunion

of the parents and children.

See you later.

However, not everyone in the community thinks this is a good idea.

The church is not co-operating, nor is the school.

Interface areas can be very fragile areas.

And as a mummy and a person who works in the community,

I wouldn't want to be doing anything that in any way brings about heightening tensions.

And, em, you know, the school is still there and it's in a vulnerable area.

You don't want to be raising any awareness or heightening tensions, but the parents and the children,

we all still live in this community. It is the parish of Holy Cross and, as a group of people,

we've decided that there's a wee event and we'd like to... It was a big event at the time,

but we want to mark it by reconnecting with people that we haven't seen for a couple of years,

have a night's craic and enjoyment, catch up and see how our children have all moved on

and how well they're doing.

And hear some of what the other children's plans are.

And, as I say, raise a couple of pound for children less well off.

Elaine has four children. Leona is her eldest daughter.

Tonight Elaine is taking her to music practice. Leona is a member

of the Jim O'Neill and Robert Allsopp Memorial Band.

BAND LEADER SHOUTS

DRUMS BEAT

You described it as a republican band. Were you apprehensive when she said she wanted to join?

Em...

No, not really. I mean, Leona wouldn't be clued in to politics.

Leona's only in it for the music.

As she gets older, she might become more aware of politics

and obviously she knows some from her Irish history,

but her whole passion is music.

-But some people associate the band with republicanism.

-A lot of people associate it with republicanism.

I joined a flute band because I've always played musical instruments.

I was playing in a music school not too long back.

I decided I wanted to play the flute.

Tracy Campbell and her daughter Sarah Jane still live in Ardoyne.

Sarah Jane comes here to the local boxing club twice a week with her sister Megan.

We just came up for a bit of training

and a bit of work on the pads and warming up.

Just footwork and shadow boxing and stuff.

We've been off for a while, doing schoolwork and stuff, so we're trying to get our fitness back up.

It's hard at first, but once you get it, it's a good feeling.

'I like the way it gives me a good feeling, you know.

'No drug in this world will ever make you feel that way.

'It's a feeling you couldn't buy.'

I find it a lot easier to express myself physically

than, you know, even speaking sometimes

and, like, writing things down.

In fact, Sarah Jane has a severe form of dyslexia.

She's now in her late teens, but faces major problems with even the most everyday tasks.

'Even, like, in everyday situations like paying on the bus,

'counting out the right kind of money and getting your change back, it can be really embarrassing.

'Or the time as well.

'I find it difficult to tell the time sometimes as well.

'And that's really embarrassing.'

Her teachers up in secondary school took her in and learned her the time in every way you can learn it

to try to make it easier for her. She knew it for a few hours and then it was gone again.

They'll come and check your work and they'll correct it, but you don't get tutored or anything.

'Reading things, if I was trying to read big instructions,

'I can read it, but I couldn't tell you'

what I've just read because I'm concentrating so hard on reading the actual words

that I don't get the meaning of what I've just read, what it's saying to me.

'I always worry. I'm worried in case I can't support myself or look after myself.

'And, like, I don't wanna

'like, grow up depending on other people forever.'

How did you get on?

Where does Holy Cross fit in Sarah Jane's life? Has it had an impact?

'I would say it definitely has, but they're not going down the road of bigotry and sectarianism.'

I think if anything, it's drove them more,

it's made them more curious of the other side, as some people put it, of the other community.

And so much that they'll socialise and they'll mix, no problem.

Sarah Jane still has her sights set on college, in spite of her difficulties.

Lynda Bowes' daughter Amanda made it to college.

Amanda is at Queen's doing a degree in film studies.

She's the first member of her family to go to university.

'It was tough in the beginning, but it's been great ever since. Once you get settled in

'you can't really imagine going back to school.'

There's too much structure and sitting around doing nothing. Here you can practise and rehearse.

-Do you see them all?

-See that one we're editing?

-Uh-huh.

He gave us the idea for the index. We weren't sure how to get it to end.

Amanda has been living at home throughout her first year,

-but Lynda has had her concerns about college life.

-'Terrified.

'Terrified. But I think it's something that I never done.'

So I don't know what that is like.

So I'm a bit worried for her

and nagging her. A bit. More about personal safety and being careful,

but I'm proud of her that she wants to do it.

'She wants to try these things and that's all I wanted for them.'

Amanda was traumatised by the experience of Holy Cross.

Could this tarnish her time at college?

She doesn't like

not knowing where she is, to this day.

She doesn't like, em, not going out

in a crowd of people, such...

You know, if one friend said to her, "There's a new bar,"

or a new disco, "Do you want to try it?", no.

She has to ease into it gently.

And she likes to know she has a group of people around her, to support her.

This camera's a modified version, so switching it on here...

'I don't like drunk people. I can't deal with them. I don't know why.

'And guys, especially.'

Go to the students union, everyone's having a good time, but there's always one who tries to do something

and that's what scared me from going out. I didn't know what was going to happen.

If something did get out of control, was I going to be OK? Stupid wee things like that.

Amanda has come to the end of her first year, but she has decisions to make

about how she spends her next two years.

Angie Boyle now lives in another part of north Belfast.

Two of her three children are still at home, including 20-year-old Helen.

We're going to have to move.

You know, to get behind and get the wires disconnected.

The family is now about to move again. For Angie, it's a big step.

She's taken on a mortgage and will be moving into a bigger house,

but they're all looking forward to the freedom which comes with owning their own home.

'It's definitely going to be exciting getting into our new house.'

And knowing it's your own and you can do whatever you want to it

and really put your stamp on it the way you can't do when renting.

And we've chosen it, which is nice as well.

In Ardoyne, you didn't have a say.

You had a house, you lived in it and that was it!

It's the start of a whole new set of stresses, but it's all good.

'I grew up in... mainly in Ardoyne.

'It was rough, quite impoverished, and it's not the life I want for my children.'

Where are these wires belonging to?

Angie works for the council.

After Holy Cross, she did a degree in fine art and Helen is now studying law.

'For me, personally, it was the difference between...

'How can I be a role model to my children? I thought I'd go back to education'

and try to expand that, just so I could potentially make myself employable in the future.

And find maybe a way out

for myself and for my children.

Anything that's junk, we'll just leave here.

'I never felt as though I fitted in in Ardoyne or that I belonged there.

'I was just always a bit different. It was the same with my whole family.

'We never really belonged there.'

We knew we didn't fit in. We weren't part of that mentality

where your whole family lives in the one street.

So we never really... The mentality wasn't for us. The area wasn't right for us.

Elaine Burns and her daughter Leona are still very much involved in life in Ardoyne.

Elaine works for a voluntary organisation in the neighbourhood

providing advice about housing and benefit issues.

'I always grew up with a wee saying. "You bloom where you're planted."

'And my family connections, my mummy, my sisters,

'we all live here.'

And, you know, being close to family,

when you're born in a community that's only 7,000 people

and there's probably a mile radius around it,

people become very close.

We're a very close-knit community. And with our families as well.

You grab a wee seat down here for me. Close that wee door there.

-Yours is a wee 50, is it?

-Aye, I filled one out before.

-I think she's gone to Australia or America now.

-Oh, Dorothy.

Aye.

-Right, so it's depression and anxiety.

-Anxiety.

-Right, OK.

-I know, she has...

-She's written it down.

Panic attacks and stuff. Mainly around depression and anxiety.

-I got stabbed a couple of years ago.

-OK. And where were you stabbed?

-Oh, on the chest, two in the shoulder and one in the back, punctured lung.

-Right.

'I absolutely love the job that I do,

'where I can see the satisfaction on someone's face when you've helped them achieve something'

or get them a benefit that they were entitled to that helps them and their family in a better state,

I don't want for anything else. That's what I'm happy with.

Elaine has also been busy planning the reunion for the parents and children involved in Holy Cross

10 years ago.

This is the Crumlin Star, a local club in the area.

They have offered the facilities of their cabaret hall for us to host our wee event.

Hi, Gerry!

-Well, Elaine, welcome. Everything sorted out?

-That's just what I'm up for,

to make sure everything is OK.

They're going to just have the DJ, disco and run a few wee ballots.

I hope it's good and rightly so after the length of time.

-It'll bring back memories, obviously.

-It'll be good to catch up with everybody, aye.

-I'll see you then.

-Bye!

She's conscious that lack of support from the church and school could affect how many people turn up.

So is she concerned?

I think when you're organising an event, no matter what, you're always concerned about numbers

and if the crowd's going to be there. A lot of times you worry for nothing. I've got to the stage now,

you organise an event. If people go, they go. If they don't, they don't.

As long as those who do attend have a good night and an opportunity to catch up with old friends.

That's what I'm looking forward to.

Eight o'clock, then. Until they drop!

Elaine's daughter, Leona, is coming to the end of term at school.

Like many of her friends, she now attends the Catholic secondary school in neighbouring Ballysillan.

'I go to Our Lady of Mercy secondary school. I enjoy playing sports, I enjoy music.

'And I'm studying "A" levels in school at the minute.'

Leona has been considering her career options and she's decided that she wants to join the police.

I'm not the type to sit in an office. I want to be out and active

and helping make a difference.

I know I would enjoy the job as well.

But in a community like Ardoyne, a career choice like this is not so simple.

I live in an area with strong republican views.

And we do have a growing number of republicans who are anti the Good Friday Agreement

and the peace process. So when you live in an area like Ardoyne, it's not that easy.

If you live maybe in the leafy suburbs... There's a thing about "castle Catholics".

But if my daughter was probably born in the Malone Road, there probably wouldn't be any questions asked.

She could go and choose that if it was the career she wanted.

So just at the minute it's not that easy for someone from working class areas like Ardoyne.

It's a major decision for Leona with implications for her whole family.

Sarah Jane wants to go to college and is being encouraged by her mum Tracy,

who works as a dinner lady at Ballysillan.

What'll you take for dessert, love?

Tracy and her friend Paula are supporting Elaine's reunion.

-Do you think it's right to mark the 10th anniversary?

-Just to remember it quietly ourselves.

There's no point in taking it up and shouting in people's faces

because really and truly it's your own personal thing.

Everybody felt different when it happened, everybody felt different when it started, finished

and every so many years on. You've seen people maybe change their attitude towards it.

People don't want to talk about it. Some do.

Although Tracy's daughter Sarah Jane has severe dyslexia,

she has a flair for art and has been doing a BTech for the past two years.

She met her boyfriend Adam at the course.

Today they're both meeting her tutor.

-'Art's like a big part of us because we do it every day.

-Every day.

-'Every day has something to do with art.

-Yeah.'

-That's one done with oil pastels.

-Which was your favourite medium when you first came here.

-Yeah.

Were you using paint when you first came here or just oil pastels?

I only started paint when I started here.

-That's Adam.

-There you are.

-With his grumpy face.

-Where's that one?

-Do you know where the Shamrock is in Ardoyne?

Yeah? That's where I live. It's the houses there. I didn't get that completely finished,

that one. That one's in Jamaica Street.

We went to the art show at the art exhibition at the University of Ulster last week.

Just going and looking at everybody's work gave us such ideas.

It was inspiring for us and we started working harder, doing more.

It rubbed off on us, to give us more ideas.

A scary one.

Yeah!

I see I don't know how many students every year. Every once in a while, somebody actually stands out.

Sarah Jane is one of those students.

It's very, very restrained, very pared-down.

And just very honest. It's a very honest communication.

She's just telling like who she is and where she comes from.

Sarah Jane's natural progression would be a foundation course for a degree.

But she can only do this if her English and Maths are up to it.

She has to pass exams in both if she's to get a place on the course.

Who's that?

'We can't understand, you know, why you need Maths and English

'for just to simply sit down and draw.

'But you need some written work besides your drawings, your sketches.'

That actually looks like him.

I'm gutted, to be quite honest and truthful, absolutely gutted

because she's so passionate about art.

And you know, she really so wants to go further on in art.

And she's just hit a brick wall, really, you know?

God help her, she'll go and try anything.

She says to me, "Mummy, I feel like I'm going to go into this room and feel humiliated."

With the problems she has, along comes frustration and embarrassment

when faced with these situations like sitting exams.

But she's still willing to go and face all that, to try.

Amanda Bowes has lived at home during her first year at Queen's University.

A legacy of the trauma of the Holy Cross dispute

has meant Amanda has always been nervous of venturing too far from the safety of her family in Ardoyne.

But recently, she has broken news of a major decision to her mother Lynda.

Hiya.

She's decided to leave home,

but she wants her mother to see the house she's moving into with college friends.

They're getting another viewing with the estate agent.

-The furniture? Is that not going to be...?

-Yeah, the television.

It's a huge step for both mother and daughter.

Look at this!

'Amanda, generally, to be honest with you, has always been very shy.

'Not even shy. I would say more reserved.'

She likes to get her bearings and she's a bit of a worrier.

You would be using the front room as a living room, really.

'Looking at her now, the girl from a year ago... It's a different person.

'She's a totally different person.'

She's gone from strength to strength, so much so, she's leaving me.

-It's smaller, but it's still got a big bed in it.

-This was my sister's bedroom.

-Was it?

'I need to be able to stand on my own two feet for the first time.

'All the way through school, I've had a stable environment'

and should anything ever have gone wrong, Mummy was there to fix it

and Daddy was always there to fix it.

I think that I need to prove to myself that I could fix it,

whatever was wrong, I'm able to tackle it on my own

and be able to say, "Yes, I'm strong enough, I'm independent now."

-You haven't seen this one. Look at the size of this one. Ignore the mess.

-It's normally the biggest.

'It has been the making of her.

'She still has friends, people in her circle from her secondary school,

'but she's met these other people from all over the place and they get on like a house on fire.'

She's much more independent now than she's ever been.

And I have to say, so far, so good.

She's with a really, really nice group of people.

And, um...people who never knew she was involved in a protest.

And so, em...

She didn't have that baggage either.

LAUGHTER That's an achievement!

This is the one we're fighting over.

-Who likes the sloping ceilings?

-I like them. I think they're so cool.

-This is very nice.

Once they work out who's sleeping in what room and we get the basics sorted,

because there's some competition for one of the bedrooms...

Once that's done, they'll be fine.

This is my first trip over, so I know she's not that far away.

Now that I've made the drive from our house over, I know she's in relatively easy reach.

-And contented.

-It's almost like a coming of age.

It is. It is.

When she said when she first went to uni, she was staying at home, that sort of made my day, you know?

But no, she's made a very good choice both in property and in house-mates.

So I'm happy for her. I'm excited for them.

How excited are you, Amanda, about this now?

More excited now that Mummy's seen it and she's OK with it.

She's OK, it's all fine. I'm excited now.

Still nervous obviously, but, yeah...

-New beginning?

-Yes, definitely. A new start, sort of.

Angie Boyle has been moving house

at the same time as Helen has been doing her second-year exams in Law.

Helen is on her way to the library to study.

She sees her education as fundamental to all her plans for the future.

Angie's enjoying finding new places for her things.

They include her own artwork.

I've had to put my artwork here

because I haven't figured out...

I'm not at the stage yet to figure out where I'll store it,

where I'm going to work on new paintings and so on.

This one is of Holy Cross.

This was actually done from the time...

I done this probably about a year ago.

Why did you decide to do this one a year ago?

I was always thinking I should do something, just even as a cathartic process maybe.

But in most of the paintings that I've done,

they are all essentially a reference

from how the whole thing of Holy Cross affected me, I suppose,

and how apathetic and how sort of...

You know, you're lacking in power to change anything or make anything different.

This one's of Helen and this is Ardoyne.

It was very much based on the Holy Cross experience because...

Again I have my...

my areas.

And they kind of say where she is and how strong she is,

even though all that happened and she experienced that level of hatred going on

and how people can be so hatred-filled, you know?

And this is my bedroom

which is a bit of a mess at the moment.

And the colours are a bit horrendous.

But maybe there's a child been in here or something before I had the house, so again small steps.

But that's it. That's about as much movement I have with my furniture as you can see, basically, here.

So it's just a matter of me coming in, giving it a good dose of bright paint.

Light, rather, and natural.

So, yeah, that's this room.

And in here is Helen's room.

She's a bit spoilt, like, on it so... for space.

She's got the biggest...probably the biggest room in the house, actually, this is.

And, um...you know, she works hard.

It's OK. We're happy enough with the situation the way it is, so, you know...

And that room, anyway, that I'm in is about the size of the house I lived in in Ardoyne,

so you know, it's just like the squeeze is back on, to squeeze your furniture into small rooms.

But maybe I should get rid of some of my furniture.

Why did you give Helen the big room?

Well, we came down a couple of times

and we just decided, you know,

it's no big deal if Helen gets the big room.

It's a big house with lots of rooms.

It's all good.

For Helen, it's been a long road from Holy Cross to Law School.

I meet so many people who just have no idea... They're so... I just find them quite ridiculous.

They're so shallow or something.

They've no depth to them because they've never known hardship

and they've never known what it's like to have to work hard for something because it matters,

it's the difference between you getting to go to school and having an education or not.

They wouldn't have any understanding of that.

I don't want to have to struggle in my whole life

with money and in terms of where we can live and what you can afford to do.

From growing up with our parents, we never had a lot of money when we were younger

and we don't have a lot of money now.

That's the driving force as well behind my decision to go into law and to try and get a well-paid job.

If you're working as a paralegal for so many years,

-you get automatically accepted on to the Institute.

-Yeah.

Yeah, I know a guy who did that.

Helen's ambitions mean that she's looking even further afield.

She's approached a prestigious law firm in London and got a placement over the summer

which she hopes will open more doors for her.

I'm really excited about going and seeing what life's like in London for the two weeks

and what it's like to work there and the kind of work you'll be doing.

Hopefully, at the end of it, I might be offered a training contract.

Tracy Campbell and her daughter Sarah Jane have had the recent worry of Sarah Jane's looming exams.

But today, there is some relief

as it's Sarah Jane's 19th birthday.

Her boyfriend Adam is treating her to a romantic dinner.

I've been going out with a guy in my class called Adam.

We met last year, but we've only started going out this year.

But he's really lovely.

I just wanted to give her a wee surprise, just a wee treat,

so I told her I'd take her out for dinner.

We went to the cinema last night, so...

This is something else.

LAUGHTER

On the face of it, Sarah Jane and Adam are like any other two teenagers in love.

But in north Belfast, life is not as simple as that.

Adam is a Protestant.

She brought her boyfriend home and they'd obviously been dating for quite a while.

They were very familiar, as an observant parent, with each other.

And she had no problems whatsoever,

you know, telling us he's from the other community.

You know, um, which, you know...

I just reckon we all live together here. We'd really like to see that.

And that was just saying that's the end of that.

So it's now just Adam.

It's not Adam from here or Adam's a this or that.

It's just Adam. He's a really nice kid.

'I wanted him to be comfortable first with me and to feel like he can trust me

'before I brought him to here.

'But he came in and then he knew he was OK.'

I might just get the fish and chips or just the chicken goujons.

I was the same when I was going down

to meet his parents and all too,

but you realise that it's OK, you know.

Give us a kiss.

Angie Boyle is preparing to say goodbye to her daughter Helen.

For a couple of weeks anyway.

Helen sets off today for London where she'll spend two weeks

with a commercial law company

and it has the potential to provide her with an internship when she graduates in a year's time.

'My ambition is definitely based in London.

'In the next couple of years, that's definitely where I see myself working

'and that's where I'm really hoping I'm going to get to go.'

Well, we'll miss you.

'It's not that I'm desperate to get out of here. I mean, this is my home.

'I love Belfast. You spend your life here and this is where all my friends and all my family are.'

But career-wise, the opportunities are elsewhere.

That's just the way it is.

I don't mind either getting away to experience living in other places

where there aren't so many problems and so much history and so much going on,

so it will be interesting to see what life's like elsewhere, how other people live,

without all this hatred in their lives.

So, yeah, my plans are definitely to leave again.

That's her. Right...

It's a really good opportunity and worst-case scenario,

if she didn't get picked, she's just got to stay with her mummy.

How bad is that?

It's all good, you know.

I think if Helen has her way, she won't move away.

You know, she loves it here

and she likes being close.

She loves to travel. Don't get me wrong.

But as for living somewhere for...

you know, as a constant thing for her future, I'm not too sure about that.

I'd always see her wanting to be back here, you know?

I don't think there's any harm in wanting your children to achieve,

but I think there is harm when you start to want to live through your kids

and you want to browbeat them into being something you never were, you never could be.

I think that would be horrendous.

I think parents like that are... you know, they're a bit misguided.

As you can see, a few changes.

-CUP DROPS

-Oops!

TAPS KEYS ON PHONE

I'm just texting Helen to let her know that everything's OK.

I'm back and... Is she OK, more or less?

It'll be quiet without her, like, so it will.

But, you know, two weeks and she'll be back

and that'll be me running after her and helping her with this, that and the other.

Elaine Burns' daughter Leona has also been considering her career options.

Since childhood, she has nurtured an ambition to be a police officer,

but recently, the adult realities of who she is and where she comes from have tempered that ambition.

I always wanted to be a police officer and in the past few months,

a year maybe, I've just realised that I can't do it.

I can't do it where I live.

It's too risky with the murder of that police officer Ronan Kerr

and people getting threatened and all. It's just too risky.

There is an ongoing threat to serving members of the PSNI

and difficulties even for families

who remain living in an area like Ardoyne.

I'm not up for moving my home for anybody,

so I think just now that she's got older,

she is aware that it's just not that easy,

coming from an area like Ardoyne, to join the PSNI.

Now, she still wants to be involved in law enforcement,

so she has been looking at the likes of the Irish army or the Garda.

Come on.

'All these people I'll be sad to leave. Like it's where I come from, it's my home.'

-Are you looking forward to going out and exploring other areas?

-Yeah, definitely.

I'm looking forward to seeing different places that I haven't seen.

We bring our children into the world and we have to bring them up as best we can

and support them as best we can, but they are only loaned to us.

They will leave us at some stage

and it's just right that they move away and further their own careers

and set up family for themselves.

I'd rather she went two hours' drive away as stay here,

I mean, in Ardoyne, and then have the risk to her own life.

Lynda Bowes is preparing for her daughter Amanda to leave the family home in the next few weeks.

Today, though, they are getting ready for the reunion being organised by Elaine.

-Are you wearing a necklace?

-Yeah, that'll be nice.

They're shopping for the night and enjoying their time together.

Lynda, who works as a legal secretary, is coming to terms

-with the idea of her daughter spreading her wings.

-Yeah, I like that.

'I know myself, for Amanda to follow her dreams, she has to leave Ardoyne.

'That's just it, you know?

'Just because I was born and reared there and I've lived there all my married life,

'it's not for everybody.'

And if her dreams and her life takes her wherever she goes,

as long as she's happy... She knows where home is.

And it'll always be there, whether it's in Ardoyne or anywhere else. She'll always know where home is.

You can see the generation that the world is their oyster.

There's no more... Their views aren't as entrenched as...

You know, you don't go further than like three streets away looking for a job.

They have choices. You know, education, work, training.

There's so much for them to consider now at this young age,

as opposed to ourselves who left school and either struggled to get into university or got a job.

And I'm a bit jealous!

I think it's important for me

to get out and see the rest of Ireland

or wherever the job hopefully I'll get takes me.

But it's always going to be home.

I'll probably come back some day.

I'd like to think so, but...

It's where I'll always be.

Tracy Campbell's daughter Sarah Jane is about to experience a critical moment in her life.

Sarah Jane's dream is to continue her studies in art.

But she can only do so if she passes exams in English and Maths.

And she finds out today if she's succeeded.

I feel a wee bit nervous,

but I'm not going to get my hopes up

because I don't want to be upset or anything if I've failed or anything, so..

At the same time, I'm a wee bit excited because hopefully, I do pass.

-Oh, I thought you'd run away.

-Hi.

-Great to see you.

-How are you?

-I'm good.

-You're looking a million dollars as always.

-Thanks. So are you.

Well, so... We're here with all this exciting news.

-Yeah?

-Have a seat.

-Are you OK?

-Yeah.

-All right?

-Mm-hm.

-Calm?

-Yeah, yeah.

-You've got your Level 2.

-Oh, that's good. That's great.

-You were an excellent student.

-Thank you.

-You worked really, really hard.

-Yeah.

Caroline and I have both checked your portfolio and it's fantastic.

-Thank you.

-Are you happy?

-Yeah. Thanks for all your help, by the way.

-You're very welcome.

-It was very good.

-You're very welcome.

I will. Thanks. Thank you.

I passed.

-You passed?

-Yeah.

-Congratulations.

-Thank you.

-I'll have to phone Mummy and tell her.

-All that hard work paid off.

Hello?

I passed, so I did.

I know.

And they said I did really well and I was a good student.

'I passed my course which is great because more doors have opened.

'I'm proud of myself. I just want to be independent and have a career and be able to look after myself.'

Back in Ardoyne, the big night has come -

the reunion organised by Elaine.

MUSIC: "Unfinished Sympathy" - Massive Attack

Leona was all set to go, but she's missing a shoe,

thanks to one of the family pets.

-You look lovely.

-Without my black shoe!

-I told you.

-I'm raging.

-Mavis the dog!

Do you not want to put any jewellery on, a necklace, no?

I can't get over my shoe!

Well, you might get over it!

-What happened?

-They're lovely on.

-..My dog ate it!

You should keep the door locked. You know how many things and shoes she ate of mine.

And Danny took it off the dog, but I don't know where it is.

Right, let's go. What about...? Where's Christina?

-She's meeting us up there.

-Right.

-She's going with Amy-Jo.

-OK.

# Like a soul without a mind in a body without a heart

# I'm missing every part

# Like a soul without a mind in a body without a heart

# I'm missing every part... #

There's been some doubt about whether this night should take place.

Neither the church nor Holy Cross School supported it.

For Elaine, this is the moment of truth.

I'm sitting waiting on my friends.

I'm a lonely soul. I'm waiting on the rest of the girls coming up.

Obviously, I came up early to help the younger ones that are doing the door and looking after the ballots.

I came up to give them a wee hand.

I take it the rest of them are having a few jars in their houses before they make their way here,

so they'll be here shortly.

MUSIC: "Go West" - Pet Shop Boys

OK, thanks.

-Do you want a stamp?

-Oh, a stamp.

It would have been nice to see more people, but everybody's got their different ways of remembering it.

I can't believe it's ten years,

but I'm glad it's ten years behind us.

I can't wait for them saying it's 20 years gone. I wish it had never happened.

Give me five.

This really is just a reunion for the girls that all went through

a terrible experience.

They're coming back and most of them haven't seen each other in years.

And it's nice for them to get together because they've all put it well behind them

and they've all moved on. I'm very proud of them.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

welcome to Crumlin Star tonight for the Holy Cross Ten Years On Reunion.

How are youse all doing? CHEERING

And if you get your cameras out, ladies and gentlemen, and take some photos, OK?

-Loads of smiles...

-'I can't believe how well the kids have come on. They're brilliant.'

After three, give it a big, massive cheer. One, two, three, big cheer! CHEERING

They're a bunch of beautiful, confident women that are going to excel in life and do really well.

# Tonight's gonna be a good night

# That tonight's gonna be a good night

# That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

# Tonight's the night, hey! Let's live it up... #

'I think it was just sort of important that I come to... Sort of like a wee landmark in life.

'Yes, it's been that long and we can officially now move on.'

It's nice to see how everyone else has grown.

Because most of them were younger than I was,

it's nice to see that they've come out of it OK.

They've all done so well. It's been really nice to be able to see everyone's done so well.

# I wanna know-ow-ow

# If you'll be my girl

# Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight... #

Friendships that will last for ever. They have a bond now.

So they do. I think it's a bond that'll never leave them.

A special bond. It was such a tragic, horrible thing, they've just...

-They've just created this bond. It's like they all knit in together.

-Yeah.

-And help each other out.

OK, here we go!

# Hey, hey, baby

# Ooh! Ah!

# I wanna know-ow-ow if you'll be my girl... #

It was a personal thing tonight about people reconnecting,

not about just mummies reconnecting or mummies and the children reconnecting,

but about a community reconnecting.

We would not have got through what we got through without the rest of the people in our community.

# I don't wanna lose your love... #

MUSIC: "Loaded" - Primal Scream

They're strong, independent young women.

And I'm proud of them. I'm proud of the school. I'm proud of Amanda.

Sometimes, you know, just bad things happen and you move on.

And you know, maybe we all needed a date or a landmark of some sort.

It's time to put it to bed and move on and I think this is it.

Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd 2011

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