The Voice on the Hill

This programme contains scenes of Repetitive Flashing Images

He's the only person in Northern Ireland ever did all the local politicians,

and now with his demise there's nobody to take that mantle on.

He brought a bit of light relief into the political process.

He brought a bit of humour and put a smile on people's faces.

I like to say it was a caricature,

maybe he didn't think it was a caricature.

He was just class, you know, and it just seems so strange that...

it's not going to happen again, you know.

Sean Crummey changed the face of political satire in Northern Ireland.

He was a gifted observer, writer and impressionist

who took events at Stormont as his raw material

and shaped them into his own surreal narrative.

His lampoons could be uncomfortably close to the mark,

but the targets of his wit loved it, and his finest achievement,

the radio and TV series The Folks On The Hill,

became the programme no politician could afford to miss.

From the political comedies of Aristophanes in ancient Athens

through to the French satirists such as Aristide Bruant,

lampooning of political figures has been a healthy facet of everyday life.

However, I do not expect to be ridiculed in any way in The Folks On The Hill.

It was a bit like Burns,

"That God the giftie gie us to see ourselves as others see us."

And you saw, or got an insight into,

what the public genuinely had of your character.

In my case, it was sort of the man who knew everything.

First case, please, Clerk of the Court Ford.

The people vs Robert McCartney, M'lud.

What treachery is this?

You are charged that you did knowingly and repeatedly

-behave in a condescending manner.

-To whom?!

Well, to everyone, M'lud.

He captured a degree of disdain that I had

for some of the political players, for their ability and principles.

I have merely, over a period of many years,

brought my considerable intellect to bear

on a great number of questions of public interest

in order to help those less fortunate than myself -

id est, everyone.

'In a sense, he captured that by having me'

as a sort of third party who was with him, looking at the scene.

DOORBELL

Who goes there?

Durkan, Mark Durkan. Leader of the SDLP.

Yes, I know who you are,

I'm just deciding whether to grant you admittance or not.

Look, this is ridiculous, Bob.

Enter.

It's easier to see the Pope than you.

Well, I would suggest that the Bishop of Rome

has a much less onerous workload than myself.

'His advice centre scenes with me as the person who was offering the advice'

and the suppliants, as it were, knocking on the door.

'They didn't get much time,

'and if they didn't get to the point quickly they were dismissed.'

Right, your time's up for this session.

In the meantime, I would recommend that you read

chapter three of the Ars Poetica by Horace - good day.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

'That was part of the image'

he created for me, someone who had, shall we say -

it might be a bit harsh - didn't suffer fools gladly?

And he wasn't entirely incorrect in that.

Before his full-time comedy career,

Sean spent 17 years as a teacher at De La Salle College in West Belfast.

His breakthrough into broadcasting came

when a colleague approached a well-known radio presenter.

The first time I heard the name Sean Crummey was in the mid-1980s.

I was presenting shows on Downtown Radio at the time,

and I got a call from a friend called Michael Stewart

who said he knew this very funny bloke.

I said, "Yeah, I hear that all the time."

He said, "No, no, this guy is unassuming, he's clever,

"he's funny, you need to meet him," so I did.

He did some voices, he showed me how clever he was in an instant,

and I realised, this guy has something.

From that day for six or seven years,

Sean Crummey was a regular feature on any radio show I did on Downtown.

DEEP VOICE: And now to the man of the moment - Alex 'Hurricane' Higgins...

Sean worked part-time on the comedy circuit under the stage name Johnny Day.

ALEX HIGGINS VOICE: No, I think Dennis still takes the death threat quite seriously,

you know, because last week we were playing an exhibition game

and I missed a red, and I turned to Dennis and said, "Your shot, Dennis,"

and he hid under the table.

LAUGHTER

But soon his more famous friends were urging him

to give up the day job.

I remember saying, "Sean, did you ever think of leaving

"teaching behind, maybe give this a go as a profession?"

He said he was toying with the idea, but wasn't convinced.

He never fully believed in himself, Sean - he was a very modest man.

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!

'I first met Sean'

about 1998 when we did our first Give My Head Peace Christmas special,

'and he played a priest who ended up being hugged by Uncle Andy,

'for various reasons that I'll not go into.

'I ended up sitting with him about three in the morning,

'and he came across as a lovely fellow.'

I knew him as Johnny Day before that

and he was talking about this stage, 1988, going full-time.

Come in, Barry McGuigan...

HIGH PITCHED VOICE: Thanks very much, Robert...

LAUGHTER

Really delighted to be given this opportunity, of trying my wee chat show.

As you said, I made a total b...shambles out of it last time.

'A lot of people spoke to him and said,'

if you took a sabbatical out of the teaching,

you could earn as much money doing the voices as teaching.

So he gave it a lot of thought and indeed he did do it,

he took a sabbatical, and at the end of the year we said, "Well, Sean?"

And he said, "I didn't do too bad."

"I'll have another go," and he took another year out,

and eventually after that he decided to give teaching up altogether.

He never looked back, did he?

AS BARRY MCGUIGAN: Jimmy Stewart, you're very welcome.

JIMMY STEWART: Aww, thank you very much, son,

it's mighty good of you to ask me along, see?

HIGH-PITCHED: Heeheheee!

LAUGHTER

I don't enjoy insulting people or offending people, you know,

I just want to make people laugh.

By 2001, a year after Sean left teaching,

The Folks On The Hill was a major success on radio.

Three years after that it took on a new dimension

when it moved to television.

The decision was made to do an animated series, and Liam O'Neill,

who worked in our graphics department at that time,

kind of led the charge with that.

Really talented, built lots of fantastic characters.

And the challenge was to turn round 15 minutes of animation each week, because it had to be topical.

It's a renegotiation!

-Review!

-Renegotiation!

-Review!

-Renegotiation!

It's an unnecessary and potentially cataclysmic form of political procrastination

which fills me with a sense of almost apoplectic indignation.

ALL: What?!

After you appeared on Folks On The Hill

your profile went up substantially,

so from a political point of view, who would complain?

I knew where Jimbo Allister lived.

I knew where everybody lived.

THUNDER

I like to keep saying it was a caricature,

'maybe he didn't think it was a caricature.'

What is your name and why have you come here?

The name's Bond, Geoffrey Bond.

I simply came to pay my respects, Professor Goldrim.

I see.

Ha! You fool!

Did you think you could trick me that easily?

I knew you were a securocrat as soon as you walked in!

I'm not! I don't even know what a securocrat is, honestly!

'Securocrats became...'

..a perfect description, I think, of those in the system

who'd been there for 40 years and really didn't want them to change too much.

I just want to help you in your quest for world domination.

Nonsense! I do not seek world domination!

In fact, I wish to share power.

What Sean did was, he invented personalities, largely, for a lot of these people.

He had their voices,

and then he developed a back story, if you like,

a whole rounded personality,

and invented a parallel world that happened to be Stormont,

but in fact was a place of his own imaginings, very much,

and loosely connected to reality but had something to say about it.

-Son?

-Yes, Dad?

-Do you know why I've called you in today?

-Is it about increasing my pocket money, Dad?

-No, Son, it's not.

'It was comic genius, it was so simple,'

but yet so penetrating in its humour and where it actually got,

and I think that was probably the magic of it.

I've had myself cloned and an exact replica of myself reproduced.

Identical in every way, except, of course, the height.

Does he talk?

Of course I talk, and let me assure you

I will continue to talk, whether you want to listen to me or not...

'I would watch it with my dad, or listen on the radio if travelling together.

'We met Sean several times, whenever he did Party events for us.

'Sean was a gentle man, a gentle giant,'

An unassuming teacher, then stepped into character,

then wham! All this humour just came out,

'and it was incredible.'

It's power share, but not as we know it.

'He had us caricatured in this room.

'Behind my desk was the union flag, and of course, more importantly,'

was the partition down the middle of the room.

I should be able to walk over there any time I like without...

ALARM

-..that happening.

-I know, it's ridiculous, so it is!

And Gerry on the other side...

Would you turn that silly thing off, now?!

We'll come over whenever we like, right?!

If humour is to be funny it has to capture -

in a picture or a cartoon or in just a few words - 1,000 words.

-Right, I think it is time for the full works, Junior.

-Go, Dad.

LOUD ALARM

Stop it, Ian! We're sorry! Turn it off!

Anyone else behind such a popular show

might have become a household name,

but Sean let his characters do the talking

while he preferred life behind-the-scenes.

When we were doing the Kelly Show, even shows round the country,

Sean would be waiting in the wings, and he was terrified,

he hated coming on to do it.

Sean was happiest when sitting in a small room writing the stuff.

That's where his main strength was.

But he didn't realise just how brilliant he was at some of the voices.

VERY SLOW VOICE: Oh, hello, everyone.

My name's Michael, and I'm looking for someone to have a good laugh with.

I can tell you that in here you weren't anybody

unless you were on Folks On The Hill.

Helloooo?

Feeling sorry for yourself?

Who are you?!

I'm Michael, your guardian angel.

I know certain colleagues who went lobbying the BBC

to get on Folks On The Hill and weren't successful.

There are lots of people worse off than you, you know, David.

Just think of Mark, and Bob, and Fordy.

'I didn't cringe,'

but I thought, "Gee, I'm not really like that,"

then my family would say, "Yeah, it's not far away."

Daphne! Daphne! Everything's going to be all right!

'The hook he had for me was the voice,

'and he slowed that right down'

and had me talking in a very slow voice.

People would stop me in the street to talk to me at that type of speed.

He's not answering, let's all just go home.

'He then portrayed me in sort of a Hammer House Of Horror,'

and I was living in a castle with a big cellar,

and everybody was frightened to come to the door.

McGimpsey, where are you?

GHOSTLY ECHOING: I'm down in the cellar...

Why don't you all come and join me?

Michael, stop this, you're frightening everyone, come up at once!

Yes, leader?

Argh!

Totally unexpected, watching one Friday night with my wife

and this comes up and suddenly I'm Dracula

and I think, "Where did he get this from?"

There was that emphasising the points, creating the caricature.

Very, very clever.

# Could you never see a doctor

# Could you never get a bed?

# Did the NHS just let you down

# And drive you off your head?

# Were you ever stuck in A&E

# For 14 hours or more?

# Did they ask you if you're broken arm was really all that sore? #

I met Sean on a number of occasions.

I sat in dinners where he stood up and did his repertoire,

including me, and everybody's looking round at me

to see how I'm reacting, and of course I enjoyed it.

EVIL LAUGHTER

Some of us used to suspect

that Sean had some kind of mole in the Northern Ireland office

who was feeding him all the material they were gathering from various conversations,

but I think he probably was just very astute observer

of human behaviour and had a very keen political antenna.

Did someone mention my name?

Ah, Dr Paisley, thank goodness!

These two are looking to give in to Sinn Fein and have you

sit in Stormont as First Minister with Martin McGuinness as your Deputy!

What?! No! I can't believe it!

I expressly said I would let my old friend Marty be First Minister,

and I would serve as his Deputy!

They're playing with your mind!

He had the luxury of not actually being in the middle of events,

in the sense that everyday political observers like myself are too close to it sometimes,

and so he's taking a step back from all the minutiae

and he can see the big picture and he's looking ahead,

and he's also having a bit of fun.

He's saying to himself, "What if?"

And sometimes the 'what if' did happen.

I don't believe this is happening!

The Shinners have put something in the water!

Peter! Peter, wake up!

Oh, It was all just a dream.

I was dreaming Dr Paisley had done the deal

and we were now political bedfellows with the Shinners!

And what's wrong with that, Peter?

Aaaargh!

What you doing around here, Attwood?

I-I was just looking at the gardens.

I-I-I was thinking a few dahlias would be nice over there.

'You needed somebody...'

..from outside the political system in order to comment,

for us all to realise that we were big fish in a small fishbowl.

You're not wanted round here, Attwood, right?

OK, I was just leaving.

Wait a minute. Give us your odds.

-What?

-You know what we mean.

But I don't have any money on me.

Not only did he take us all down a peg or two, he also made

telling points about the character and content of our politics

in a way that at times probably said to us to catch ourselves on.

-Hand what over?

-It's all right, it's nothing.

-Just a misunderstanding.

-That's right.

It was just a misunderstanding. No hassle. Come on, lads.

Go on, clear off and leave him alone or you'll have me

-to deal with.

-Thanks, Mark.

Give us your odds, Attwood, now.

Hello. Hello.

This is George W Bush calling you all the way from Texas.

-I don't believe it. Hello, how are you?

-I'm just fine...

Despite his tough workload, Sean lent his talents to projects

by old friends, including the man better known as May McFetridge.

I know you've been appearing there at the Grand Ole Opry

House for two decades which must sometimes feel like 20 years.

LAUGHTER

It seems strange to me that I never hear him

when we were playing golf and he hits a good shot, "Oh, yes. Yes, a fine shot."

Or when he putts a long putt in and he would do Gerry Adams.

You could say, "Do Seve Ballesteros". He was just class.

'We used him in our stage shows cos he did the best Gerry Adams.

'You know Da's always on the phone to Gerry Adams.

'His only payment he wanted was a bottle of Rioja.'

He wouldn't swear. He refused to say the F word which I'm afraid I sometimes use

in live shows, but he refused.

And in a very nice way, not an offensive way, he'd say,

"Do you mind if I use a different word rather than the F word?"

and that's just typical of Sean. He did things his own way and gently got on with it.

Welcome to David Ford, The Alliance Party leader who's the first

guest on our new phone-in programme.

The Alliance Party is the only party...

It would be worse to not be lampooned than to be lampooned.

To be thought significant enough is always very exciting

for anybody in that position.

The lines are now open and we await the first call.

'Whether you spoke too much, whether people wanted to speak to you.'

He twisted those to where the lampoon was funny without getting to the point where it was nasty.

We have our first caller.

-Hello, you're through to David Ford, what's your question?

-'Hello.'

-Hello.

-'Hello.'

-Hello, David Ford here, how can I help?

Number 49, mate, with fried rice.

I got suggestions from my family, they never knew I could sing

so well as when I had a stringless guitar standing underneath

the street lamp, and those little ditties were always amusing.

# My name is David Ford-by I'm a cheeky sort of chap

# I play me little banjo and I wear me little cap

# I keep me eye on the DUP and the Shinners when I can

# But I really think our country is going down the pan. #

It was always good to see people like Gerry Kelly or Peter Robinson

being given an absolutely spot-on hard time, because I believe

he got nearly everybody else right, but he just didn't quite get me.

Wahey, you have to laugh!

Topical comedy demands a constant supply of fresh material,

although the team on The Folks On The Hill expanded in later years,

scripting it initially was largely a solo effort.

The standard was extremely high, but also the turnover was immense.

He did ten years of Folks On The Hill on the radio,

we did about four or five years on the television.

That's a huge volume of material to go through.

He's to be hugely admired, and he didn't perhaps get the respect

he deserved for being able to do that week in, week out.

I just know there's peace over the rainbow.

-Where am I?! I'm lost.

-Hello.

-Who are you?

I'm Jeffrey, one of the munchkin men.

If you need to see the wizard, just follow the Orange Brick Road.

The fact that you made it on to Folks On The Hill was

success in itself.

I didn't mind in the slightest the way in which the portrayal went.

-Niall, of N2, a cover of Sinn...

-What was that, Adams?

I was just trying a new spell, Professor.

You haven't learned it very well. Your pronunciation is dreadful.

-God's sake, the Latin ones were hard enough.

-Trying to turn yourself into a democrat, were you, Adams?

No, actually, I was trying to shrink you but I see someone beat me to it.

If people could have a laugh at Folks On The Hill it helped reduce

the level of tension that there would have been at Stormont,

so all in all I think it was a good thing.

'Sometimes perhaps a bit close to the bone in terms of the humour,

'maybe closer to the truth than some people might have hoped.'

Ah, the Thane of Lagan Valley. The noble Jeffrey, he has come.

Hail good sirs, let us eat and drink our fill for a great victory

was won upon Westminster Field.

Aye, and men shall ever speak of Upper Bann

wherein thy former friend did meet his end.

Trimble's end was Jeffrey's deed, was it not thus, my lords?

Not mine, nay, though I shed no tears 'tis true.

Overall very professional, very well done, and extremely humorous.

-You have supped with the Devil, sir.

-'Tis a lie.

This witchcraft is in their minds alone, judge.

What know these folk of God, I say?

He blasphemes. He damns himself by his words.

-Repent and save yourself, David.

-Get stuffed, Jeffrey.

I remember one Christmas sitting watching Folks On The Hill

and my two daughters were in the room

and were keeping an eye on what was on the TV and there was this

'moment when I was portrayed as metamorphosing

into Daniel O'Donnell.'

Och, now, told you, honest to God, this is desperate, it really is.

Did you hear that, Peter?

They were appalled and were thinking, "How are we going to go back

"to school after the Christmas holidays when people see this?"

But I was laughing, and hurting my sides laughing,

because it was just brilliant humour,

and you have to take it in the way it's intended.

# I want to dance with you

# I want to dance you right across the floor... #

Help! Quickly, someone help!

Away from politics, real or imagined,

Sean could be relied on to add extra personality to any big occasion.

When Graeme McDowell won the US Open I was charged

with providing the entertainment.

I thought no better man than golf-crazy Sean Crummey

who came down. It was a wonderful evening

because Sean took charge of the microphone and welcomed Graeme home.

Now we're going over to South Africa to join Nelson Mandela.

Nelson Mandela.

(MIMICS MANDELA) Greetings from South Africa.

I send my congratulations across the world to Graeme McDowell

on this fantastic achievement even though you beat Ernie Els.

Graeme and some of his friends from America were doubled over laughing.

Then Sean turned it upside down and started to do Graeme himself.

(MIMICS MCDOWELL) After Celtic Manor I knew my game was on fire

and I just wanted to get the putter...

CHEERING

'At this stage, not only his friend, the entire room

'just collapsed in hysterical laughter.

'None moreso than Graeme himself who thought it was brilliant.

As you guys know I grew up on the east side of Portrush

and I was like any other kid doing crazy things,

hopping on the back of the garbage truck, and...

LAUGHTER

..practising my putting on the sidewalk. It was awesome.

Hello, Jim Allister here with another of my little broadcasts.

Ever since I told my loyal supporters that

I had gone all virtual my website has been positively inundated with

hits, as I believe they're called.

Very often now when people learn that I am available 24/7 online they

say, "You tube", and I tell them to keep a civil tongue in their head.

'He lampooned us all. He lampooned me from time to time.'

Sometimes as the arch conspirator he would line me up

on occasions with Bob McCartney

and had us on some far flung ancient radio system conspiring together

as if we were something out of the French Resistance.

Snowy Owl to Bald Eagle. Snowy Owl to Bald Eagle. Are you reading me?

Bald Eagle to Snowy Owl, reading you loud and clear.

-'Why are you called Snowy Owl?'

-I would have thought that was self-evident.

Snowy because of my thatch of luxuriant white hair,

and Owl because it is synonymous with wisdom

and has been since the days of the ancient Greeks

when Athena the Goddess of Wisdom

had as one of her numerous symbols the owl.

I am Bald Eagle because I too am a fearsome and proud predator?

No, because you are bald.

He realised in a sense I was a bit of a John The Baptist to Allister.

We were cast in this role of a sort of resistance to this

overwhelming drive for a result.

What else have you to tell me?

If the DUP puts forward a candidate against me

the Unionist vote will be split three ways,

the Shinners will gain an extra seat and then the DUP will be blamed. Ha-ha!

-And you'd lose your seat.

-Oh, crap, I hadn't thought of that.

I will go and work on Plan B. Over and out.

It was more than comedy. It was in itself political commentary

done in a comic fashion

and he was a talent we probably won't see the like of again in that regard.

The Folks On The Hill ended its TV run in 2008, but continued on radio.

"Have you seen this, Bobby?" "Please do not refer to me as Bobby.

"In fact, please do not refer to me at all."

A decade on, the original cast of characters had changed radically,

but a painful personal struggle was going on behind the scenes.

Sean became ill at the start of 2011.

Things went very quiet. No more Folks On The Hill for a while.

Sean was getting treatment.

So it was a real joy in the summer of 2011 when Sean was fit enough

to come back to work as it were, though we never called it work,

and we were back in Studio Three, doing lots of impressions.

He'd perfected a few new characters.

We have Tom Elliott now on the political map.

(MIMICS ELLIOTT) Tom is a very interesting character, from Fermanagh

obviously, and I think the people of Northern Ireland are behind me

as I attempt to alienate as many sections of the population as I can.

We were doing six programmes and about two thirds

of the way in, Sean began to feel unwell again, but continued.

'Insisted on doing it. It must have been like an instinct'

because as soon as the red light went on in the studio

he was brilliant and did some really challenging sketches.

Who cares if McGuinness becomes president or not?

(MIMICS MCGUINNESS): The First Minister knows this is not the vote to which I am referring.

I am talking about Janet Devlin on the X Factor. She's the pride of Tyrone, so she is.

He said goodbye to the studio, goodbye to us,

and he died about ten days later.

But his very last radio programme went out the day before he died.

So he kept us laughing right to the end.

-I suppose this place must be full now.

-Heh-heh!

What are you laughing at?

I think you've forgotten,

there is one more chap who's gone over the hill as it were.

-Who?

-You'll find out soon enough.

-Hey, fellows, look who's here. Ha-ha!

-Good grief.

This place looks like Guantanamo Bay. Do I know you? Laura? Laura?

Sean will be remembered as a comic genius,

but to all of us who knew him his real legacy will be the way

he touched the lives of those around him.

He never claimed the limelight when we were together.

We were all just guys together playing a game of golf.

He would listen to a joke every bit as much as tell the joke and he would enjoy our company.

Of all the voices I will miss it will be Sean's own voice

that I'll miss over the years. He was just such a gentleman, was Sean.

It's a tremendous loss because as so often is the case,

people with this sort of talent, and one can think of many

comedians among them, who can bring a bit of joy, a bit of fun,

a bit of laughter to life in general, are cut short.

He will be enormously missed, certainly by me.

I went to his funeral. It was huge.

It was huge out of respect.

He gave back what he gave out which was decent humour, wit,

with a sharp edge, but not anything that would hurt anybody.

When I went up to the wake, the young fellow, Brendan 12 years of age,

says, "I heard what you said on the BBC and I just want to thank you.

"Your words were very kind." That's from a 12 year old.

Then at the funeral...

..his son was just... I mean...

Just a real sound family and a lovely husband and father.

He was all that. We could all take a leaf out of his book.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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