Love and Death in City Hall

This programme contains some strong language.

This programme contains some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.

So have you a big bridal party? Have you many bridesmaids?

Yes, see, I tried to, like, incorporate everybody.

His side of the family and my side.

So he has four men, I have four bridesmaids,

and then we have three flower girls and three page boys.

-God, that IS big!

-I know!

So are you going to get dressed up, then?

-Are you going to wear a nice suit?

-Yeah!

-Is Mummy going to be a princess?

-Yeah, me going in a suit.

You're going in a suit? THEY LAUGH

-Where did you meet?

-I was an apprentice, working in Shorts,

and he was coming down, they had no work at the time,

so they were coming down to re-train, and I met him there.

He was doing the whole "big lad" thing.

"You're gorgeous," and all that! THEY LAUGH

But he left after about a week, and I never seen him again.

But a year later, I got moved

-into the factory where he was working.

-Right.

-But I had a boyfriend then.

-Right.

So he was asking me out and stuff and I said, "No, I'm going with a fella.

"Can't be doing that, now."

So he says to me one day, "I've no money in my phone.

"Do you mind if I borrow yours to phone my mate?"

And I says, "No, go ahead." So he lifted my phone, rang himself,

and he said, "Got your number now, chick!"

THEY LAUGH So it was the whole big boy attitude

that really...you know, the cockiness and stuff?

-That attracted you?

-I know, it is!

Can't really say no to that sort of thing!

You couldn't give me a wee drop of cold water for that?

-Cold water?

-Yeah, please.

So are these twins?

No, no, this is my daughter,

and Stephanie's my daughter, and this...

-This is MY daughter.

-So that's your granddaughter?

-So there's three generations sitting in front of me here?

-There is.

My God! You wouldn't think it, so you would!

Three generations, and these two are three days apart.

-They're going to grow up so like twins.

-Oh, definitely.

-Who discovered first?

-Me.

And then you told your mummy?

-Yeah, I told my mum.

-And then?

And then I found out two weeks after Stephanie.

Stephanie was the last person I wanted to tell I was pregnant,

because it was her time...

-Yeah, and how did you feel when your mummy told you?

-I don't know.

-I always wanted a wee sister, didn't I?

-Oh, always.

They're going to be so like twins.

We've already talked about sleepovers and twin buggies

and who's taking who out.

-And they'll be in the same class at school and everything!

-Aye.

-Just imagine Christmas!

-I know, it'll be great!

I can't wait to do it all again,

-because I remember the look on Stephanie's face.

-When Santa came?

When Santa came. She would come into the room and she would just sparkle.

Her eyes would light up and she'd go, "Oh, Mummy! Oh, Mummy!"

And are you a great Christmas person?

No, I hate Christmas.

Well, you're going to have to start loving it for this year!

-I know, I will!

-It's so different when you've got your own.

We'll have to get two extra chairs for the table now.

-Two high chairs, this Christmas.

-I know.

Skyler Precious. Oh, wow!

-Isn't that lovely?

-It is.

I did want her to be called Precious,

but I wasn't allowed.

-Who didn't allow you?

-Her daddy.

I wasn't allowed to call her that because it sounds like a porn star.

THEY LAUGH

40...

..160...

..170...

..175. There.

Got more than enough.

Well, that's your date booked for your wedding in the City Hall.

-It's a happy day.

-And that's all yours, sweetheart.

-Thank you very much.

-Don't spend it on a horse!

You don't say that.

You're not supposed to say things like that. No!

Mr Coulter, what was your occupation?

-Labourer.

-A labourer.

Labourer. A labourer all my life.

That's fine.

I've been married before.

And I'd say, "Oh, it's a hard road going down on your own!

-"It's a very hard road!

-THEY LAUGH

-There you are. You got what you wanted.

-Yep!

THEY LAUGH

Stop it! You're making me nervous!

Oh, I know, but you're after letting go of it.

You win some, you lose some, you know?

You can have someone doing a reading if you want to,

if you've got a poem or a favourite piece of verse.

It just can't be anything religious.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

And if you are going to have a wee poem or that,

we need to see the wording and the name of the person.

-Do I need to take off these badges? Them there?

-What?

Are you not allowed to wear them?

-You can wear what you want.

-Thank you very much, dear.

-Yep.

-That's it.

Will you sign it at the bottom for me? I'll give you copies.

You know what I'm telling you, what I'm worried about?

In case you walk out and walk away and leave me.

-No.

-Sure, my ex was there and she walked out.

Left me with children and all.

And I hope you're not going to do the same thing.

-I'm not going to do it. No way.

-You better not.

-No.

I'm telling you, you've got a good bloke here.

Genuine.

-He's not going to mess around with anybody.

-I'm not going anywhere!

SHE LAUGHS

I'm from Belfast!

-It's quite fancy in there, isn't it?

-It is really fancy.

All the big marble floors and all.

Thank you.

What are we in for today?

Our wedding schedule. Just to pick it up.

Not this time already?!

I know, isn't that scary, how quick it's come in?!

Is this last time I'll see this bit, "single?"

-That's it! That's it!

-HE LAUGHS

Are you married long?

-A very long time.

-A very long time?

THEY LAUGH

-You'd have been good on our marriage course, wouldn't you?

-Yeah!

"How to Make a Marriage Last!" SHE LAUGHS

Just nod and agree with everything they say?

It's very simple, you're in the wrong. That's it!

We've been watching the likes of Four Weddings

and Don't Tell The Bride and stuff, and I would go,

"Oh, what do you think of that wedding dress?"

And he would go, "Hmm, that's lovely."

And he's scared to say any dress isn't nice,

-in case it's like my dress.

-Yeah, yeah!

I can't wait to see her in the dress.

But I would say I'll have a wee tear in my eye, so I will.

-As my mum says, "You better not cry!"

-He better cry!

SHE LAUGHS

CHEERING

"When the one whose hand you're holding

"is the one who holds your heart

"When the one whose eyes you gaze into

"Gives your hopes and dreams their start

"When the one whom you believe in puts her faith and trust in you

"You've found the one and only love you share your whole life through."

-Aw!

-SHE LAUGHS

Total rubbish!

-I'm very cynical.

-Oh, Jennifer!

-I'm very cynical.

-You have to be romantic!

There isn't just...I don't believe there's just

ONE person in the world just for you. I don't believe in that.

TUNE - "GOING TO THE CHAPEL"

-BEHIND CAMERA:

-When you were wee,

did you have an idea of what love would feel like?

No. See whenever I was young, I think,

cos your emotions are running so high whenever you're younger,

you think you're in love with absolutely everybody.

But them there feelings don't last.

Whenever you're with someone, you stop getting the butterflies

and stuff, but it turns into something totally different.

-Where you just rely on them for all wee things, don't you?

-Mmm-hmm.

Close them down again.

Like, Marie-Claire, my niece, said to me,

"Are you still going to come and visit us once you're married?"

As if I'm going to turn into this total different person.

But I don't think I will.

See, to be honest, even right now, I'm getting ready,

I still don't feel like I'm going to be a married woman.

Like, I don't know whether it'll feel any different or not.

Maybe it'll be like, know having a birthday, never feeling a year older?

-Yeah.

-It'll just sort of feel the same.

-Ooh, I've got butterflies in my stomach!

-I know! All morning!

It's all about me! SHE LAUGHS

Is that OK?

All right, this is the tightest it goes, from the top.

Right, what are you feeling now, nervous or excited?

I feel pretty calm, actually. I'm really surprised.

Daddy, you look lovely in that suit!

Is it OK if my daddy sits in the back seat?

HE WHISTLES SOFTLY

It's my second time, you know.

-Glutton for punishment!

-HE LAUGHS

When you get old, you need somebody to look after you.

DRIVER: Oh, aye.

You just can't turn the clocks back any more.

-BEHIND CAMERA:

-You're not nervous at all, Billy?

No, no. No, no.

She's nervous, but not me. I'm not nervous about anything.

"ETERNAL FLAME" BY THE BANGLES PLAYS ON STEREO

SHE GASPS

I'm going to start crying now already!

My make-up's going to be ruined by the end of this day.

Och, look at them, Daddy.

Don't they all look lovely?

There's Charlie! SHE SNIFFS

I swear, I think I have hormone issues!

What's my make-up like? Is it all right now?

It's only natural.

CHORAL MUSIC

I have to remind you both

of the solemn and binding character

of the contract you're about to make.

Marriage, according to the law of this country,

is the union of one man with one woman,

voluntarily entered into

to the exclusion of all others.

OK, Billy, if you'd like to put the ring on Carol's finger

and repeat after me: I give you this ring.

I give you this ring.

-As a symbol.

-As a symbol.

-Of my love.

-Of my love.

-And of our marriage.

-And of our marriage.

Today.

It's tight!

SHE LAUGHS

Your finger grew! I'll get it on.

That'll do. That's all right.

That's all right there, isn't it?

By virtue of the covenants made in my presence,

as Deputy Registrar of Marriages,

I declare that you, William John Coulter,

and you, Carol Anne Smith,

are now joined together in matrimony,

in accordance with the law.

You are now husband and wife.

Thank you.

I was going to say, "You may kiss your bride!"

See, I'm there first! I'm there first! Right quick!

-PRIEST:

-In Christ, Our Lord.

The peace of the Lord, ever and always.

ALL: And also with you.

In the name of the Father and of the Son

and of the Holy Spirit,

Lord be with you.

CHORAL MUSIC

Did we get it?

You got it?

I think we've got bride and groom here.

Oh, and there's another couple of girls over here at the fountain.

They look as if they're something to do with the wedding as well.

-BEHIND CAMERA:

-Was there a point in your own marriage,

a day in your own marriage, where you thought,

"I don't think this is going to work any more?"

One specific one? One particular day?

A whole lot of days.

My honeymoon.

On my honeymoon, I think we both knew it wasn't going to work.

But we were too scared. Marriage...

..you're talking a good while ago.

Both our parents were quite religious people.

And I always was told you got married

and you got married for life.

For better, for worse.

And, um...

I was told you had to stick with it.

I was very young,

and I maybe just didn't have the confidence I would have now.

Do you plan to fall in love again?

Erm...

SHE LAUGHS

I don't know, honestly.

I...I would be very scared.

I don't know whether I would get married again, no.

When did your wife die?

Christmas Eve.

Did you get a death certificate?

-No.

-Was the coroner involved?

No.

Did she die suddenly, or had she seen a doctor?

She'd seen the doctor within the last month or something like that.

-Had she?

-Yeah.

So there should be a death certificate, then.

Yeah...no, I haven't got one.

Do you know who has that?

Did a doctor come out...where did she die?

-In the house.

-In the house.

Did a doctor come out to make out a death certificate?

No, it was Christmas Eve, actually. But he came out afterwards.

-He came out afterwards?

-Yeah.

-What, after Christmas?

-Yes.

She was buried on...she died on Christmas Eve

and was buried on the Monday.

So it probably would have gone through the coroner's office,

because of it happening over the holiday period.

Yes, yes, yes.

-There probably might not have been a death certificate issued, then.

-No.

Who was your doctor?

Computer's very slow today.

-Is it?

-Mmm-hmm.

Ah, well.

-Arthur.

-I thought I recognised you coming in there.

-How are you?

-Not too bad.

-How are you?

-Sorry about Joan.

-I know you are. Thanks very much.

-OK.

You've some happy memories. How long were you married?

-55.

-HIS VOICE CRACKS

-Long time, isn't it?

-Very long.

-Not long enough, as I said.

-I know, I know.

I'm happy for her, I really am.

I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing now but...

-So she'd a peaceful death, then?

-A beautiful death.

The woman next door...got her to come in

because of her breathing, you know?

I said, "She might not be breathing now."

She was all right, but she wasn't gasping or anything.

-She was just...

-HE BREATHES CALMLY

And she said, "I think she's telling us she's going."

The woman next door said, "I've seen people dying,

"but I never saw a more beautiful death."

-The woman next door said this.

-Isn't that nice?

And I said, "Well, that's good, isn't it?"

You don't know how lucky you are, wee man. So...

-You don't feel too lucky?

-No, that's right.

Hello, this is Peggy here from City Hall, Registration of Deaths.

How can I help you?

PHONE RINGS

Christopher was my only son.

He had a brain tumour.

-BEHIND CAMERA:

-And what's the wee feather?

After Christopher died,

I would just find feathers in really random places,

and I kind of looked upon them as a sign.

Whether they were or not, I don't know, but I kept several of them.

Do you remember, Margaret, the time I came back in here

-with the feather attached to my neck?

-Oh, yes.

That was lovely. It just sat here.

Feathers everywhere.

So the feather, in a way, connects you to where he is, in a way?

Erm...

I suppose, a little bit.

A little bit.

I would love some more connection.

It's not enough.

ARTHUR MUMBLES PRAYER

-That's me back again today!

-HE LAUGHS

Everything OK?

-BEHIND CAMERA:

-Is it good to talk to Joan, Arthur?

Yep. Say prayers and talk to her.

-Ask her to look after me.

-HE CHUCKLES

And tell her how much I miss her.

And Junior too.

Who's Junior?

Junior's my son, Arthur.

What happened to Junior?

He was going down that road there, and apparently,

when tar and bitumen meets, it makes it so slippery,

and he was driving and going down the hill and he went into a spin,

and there was a big tree on the far side and he hit that tree.

There was another boy with him. He was all right.

But Junior died.

I hope you and Junior can hear me.

You know how much I miss the two of you.

-All being well, see you tomorrow.

-HE CHUCKLES

-You're Mr Redmond's son?

-Yeah.

His place of birth, was it Belfast?

-Yeah, it was Belfast.

-I'll just put Belfast.

-And his marital status?

-Still married, so he was.

Just, "married," then.

And whatever his occupation was?

-He was a sprayer in Shorts.

-OK.

-Just put, "aircraft sprayer?"

-Yeah.

-You came straight down from the hospital?

-Yeah.

Well, no, I had to go down to Shorts there first,

the place where he worked.

I had to see them, and they told me to come here.

And then I'll have to go home again.

No, it's not something any of us are really experienced at.

You know, you don't want to be doing something like this too often.

-No.

-No, it's all new.

That's what the wee nurse said to me this morning.

"You're all new at this."

-BEHIND CAMERA:

-Sammy, what does it feel like

on the day that you lose your father?

-Here's my son now.

-Is it?

That's your wedding day there?

That's my wedding day, yes.

I was 19 and he was 21.

And what do you remember about that day?

Oh, it was brilliant.

Happiest day of my life.

Did you know you were going to be together forever at that time?

Well, not really. Not at that time, you know. Just...

..just, we never wanted to part, you know?

Do you want to come in out of the cold and wait?

CHORAL MUSIC

I'm just wondering, what was your secret?

About staying together so long?

We didn't really have a secret, did we?

Just stayed together.

That's what the girl up in the nursing home said to me one day.

"How long were you married?"

I said, "Well, in April coming, it'll be 60 years."

She says, "That's a long time you've stayed together."

She says, "How did you stick 60 years?"

I said, "We just loved each other."

SHE LAUGHS That's right.

Who's Sandy?

That's the dog.

SHE LAUGHS German shepherd!

That was his wish.

That's what we both...when we were a bit younger,

we decided when we got him

that if anything happened to any one of us,

he would go in the bottom of the coffin.

So unfortunately, Roy went first.

SHE SOBS

I love you. I always will.

SHE SOBS

ORGAN MUSIC

Just stop there and take the coffin off your shoulders with your hands.

We commit his body to be cremated.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, in the sure

and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord

and Saviour Jesus Christ, Amen.

The groom is delayed,

and the bride has to get back into the car again to hide from him.

-Do you remember the first time you fell in love?

-Yes.

I was 19.

My first love.

Very special.

Still friends.

-Albeit on Facebook.

-How did you know?

Um... Because I just really, genuinely wanted to be with him

all the time, and shared everything with him.

And I would say that he loved me more than I loved him,

and I genuinely really loved him.

There you go, the one that got away.

He didn't get away, we decided that we were going to split up,

and we split up. That was right at the time, so no regrets.

-Never think about meeting him again?

-I did. I met up with him in 2008

and spent the day with him and his family, it was his wife and daughter,

spent the whole day with them, it was lovely.

And I would have met up with him last year.

He lives in Australia. That's handy(!) When I was in Australia,

but I left a message for him on Facebook saying, "Do you fancy meeting up for a coffee?"

And he never got back to me, so...

But...

It's a bit hurtful after all this time.

But that's just the way things go.

You know?

Hello!

-Gary?

-Cutting it fine.

-You're cutting it fine?!

I thought you'd never get through the courtyard.

-You are getting married in St Therese?

-Yes.

-That's a lovely chapel.

It is a nice wee chapel, isn't it?

I actually went to the school beside it, Little Flower.

-Oh, did you?

-It's nice, yeah.

So you've got links there.

Yes, well, to be honest, the reason why we did it there was

because the priest buried our son, and he was really,

really nice at the time, so it means something.

So it will be the same priest who buried your baby who will be

marrying you, then?

-Where is Rory buried?

-Glenavon.

-Right, that's not too far.

Not too bad. So, actually the reason,

my cousin's wee boy died. He died at five months.

So we thought it would be nice,

-the two babies together, kind of thing.

-Yes.

-Did you have to start and buy a grave at that time?

-My cousin, she offered.

Because we wouldn't have known what to do.

-You don't expect anything like that to happen.

-No, you don't.

It's a really nice graveyard, actually.

If you like that sort of thing.

I wish we could get a family plot up there, but you never think

you're going to have to talk about these things, sure you don't?

-That's right.

-Until you have to.

-That's £40, please.

-Right.

-You want to pay by card or cash?

MUSIC: ORGAN PLAYS "CHAPEL OF LOVE"

Is it too heavy?

Does it mean a lot to you, to get married in a church?

It means...

I don't know.

The way I can describe it is, I think a lot of our renewed

faith came when Rory died, because if we didn't

believe in anything, we would have, I think, really, really floundered.

And we thought, we need to know that somebody is looking after him,

-and he is watching us.

-< Tracey!

Yes, I know. Mummy, wait a wee minute.

It's... There is a fear there, will it be OK?

Will we be able to cope on the day, you know?

Just hoping that it will, you know, so...

Yeah, you know.

So... Yeah, it's really... That's really it, you know.

I hope it will be OK on the day, and...Rory will be over us,

and looking after us.

We always wanted him to know that we were good parents,

that we would have been, so... So hopefully it will be OK

and not flounder like I'm floundering now.

# You begin another chapter in the book of life

# Love is a circle that surrounds you

# You can find it on the faces of your family and friends

# Love... #

Through these mysteries, they may be strengthened in love for one

another and for you, through Christ, our Lord. Amen.

Ryan, wear this ring as a sign of our love and fidelity.

-In the name of the Father...

-In the name of the Father...

-And of the Son...

-And of the Son...

-And of the Holy Spirit.

-And of the Holy Spirit.

They are now man and wife. You may kiss your bride.

And let's give them a big round of applause.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations.

OK.

CHURCH BELLS TOLL

CHORAL MUSIC PLAYS

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, amen.

It is wonderful to see such a wonderful turnout

for Cemetery Sunday.

Some of us don't feel very much like celebrating today.

In spite of the sunshine and the lovely weather, some of us

are here today under a great, heavy cloud of sorrow and grief.

This feast calls us to rejoice, to be glad and to celebrate life

and new beginnings.

Father, would you put a wee touch there?

Thank you very much.

I think your faith brightens your life for you, you know what I mean?

With Joan passing away on Christmas Eve,

if you just saw that, that's the end of it.

Life wouldn't be worth living.

You are always expecting some day somewhere you're going to meet her, you know?

And the rest of the family, like, you know?

So this is a thought. Most people have this thought, I think, too.

On the day that you are born, there is a date for you to die.

On the day you're born, there is a date for being born

and a date for dying. End of story.

What do you think?

Is it harder to fall in love the second time round?

I don't think you're necessarily looking for it.

When you're younger, you might be looking for it,

you might be looking to tick the boxes.

You get to the end of school, you might go on and do university,

you get a job, you find someone, you fall in love, you get married,

you have kids. You've got to tick the boxes.

And some people might be trying to force finding those boxes to tick.

Are you describing yourself there?

HE CHUCKLES

Was there a day that you realised, hang on, this isn't going to last?

There were certainly some days when I thought, this isn't working.

But...

..there were reasons why I just kept going.

Love isn't necessarily the bolt from the blue, rose petals and champagne.

Does your present girlfriend feel the same?

Um...I don't know, we haven't discussed love.

How long have you been together?

Now we've got to think. Six years.

-Six years.

-You must have discussed something like love.

It's possible we have discussed love, but it might have taken

a great intake of alcohol, and as a result, we don't remember.

Hello, Guy.

This has probably gone cold.

Maybe I shouldn't show you this,

-but I've got a brand-new copy of 50 Shades Of Grey.

-What's it about?

It's filth, just... Guy, it's just...

Um... It's about an innocent girl called

Anastasia Steele, and she meets Mr Christian Grey,

who is a billionaire and is into um...

..just... He's into different stuff and...

he likes his women to be submissive, and he would be the dominant one.

And that's putting it nicely. It's... It's quite a book.

Have you read it? No.

Well, there's a bit where there is two silver balls...

LAUGHTER

They're not his!

I never heard tell of such things.

Well, they do end up getting married, you know,

so it doesn't mean they continuously just live in sin.

-Is the physical side of a marriage important?

-Yes, it's very important.

It's not the be all and end all,

but it's important within a relationship, I think.

-Wendy, you're married far longer than I am.

-37 years, yes.

Yes, it is important, no two ways about it. It is important.

It is one of these, I am sitting in a meeting, the door opens,

she walks in and bang, that was it. It was one of them.

-Some Enchanted Evening.

-Some Enchanted Evening, yes.

-That was in 2004.

-And this is where it has all led to.

-This is where it has all led to.

-She walked in the door and now there is a wedding coming.

-How did you get into the baking?

-My wife. Unfortunately, she passed away.

She was a cook, too. So that is where my daughter gets it from.

And have you inherited any of the cooking skills?

-A wee bit, a wee bit.

-Victoria sponge.

Don't mention the Victoria sponge.

So are you going to have a Maltesers cake?

No, this is just traditional fruit.

-You know the way you normally have pillars in between?

-Yes.

-I have decided to use four Tyrone Crystal glasses.

-Ooh!

-So I have.

So it's going to be the cake and the colour round the bottom with the

ribbon and then four Tyrone Crystal glasses and then the cake on top.

So you're going to have a layer of cake and then you're going

to have the Tyrone glasses between your base layer and your top layer.

Do you have to reinforce your icing or anything?

What I'll do, I'll put... You know them dowel rods you can get?

You cut them and that actually puts the downforce down through the cake,

so it doesn't push into the icing. So...

So you put your dowel rods into the cake first,

-then your glass on top.

-So it is sitting like that.

-Like a support pillar.

-Like a support pillar.

-Yeah.

Why DO people fall in love? I don't know.

I've been lucky enough to fall in love twice.

-Once with your mum and now Amanda.

-Is once not good enough?

-Pardon?

-Is once not good enough?

-No, once is not good enough. No.

The dowel rods are in that bag.

Just put that in the bag.

-Want me to squish the lumps out for you?

-No... Yes.

-That's a photograph of Amanda.

-Yes.

-So she's marrying your dad.

-Yes.

-When did you propose?

-What was the date? Three years ago?

We actually went down, the first date we had was on a park bench in Antrim.

I actually took her down to the same park,

put her in the same chair and just got down on one knee and said,

"Look, Amanda, we've been going out so long, will you marry me?"

That was it.

-And then...

-Then went home to tell the kids.

And what was your reaction, Alistair?

Alistair actually... How do I put it?

He went into shock, I would say, because he thought we might have to move house and change schools

and all this, but to be honest, nothing has changed.

The kids are still going to the same school.

-That wasn't the reason.

-Why?

-At that time, my mum was still alive.

-Yeah.

And at that time, I didn't want them to get married when she was still alive.

But it worked out, didn't it?

-Things can only get better.

-Also, I still love your mum.

I was down the other day with her. Putting flowers on her grave.

Just trying to get my edges straight.

Alistair unfortunately didn't really know his mum that well.

Unfortunately, she took ill when she was very, very young.

Six months after Alistair was born, she actually fell out of bed.

Would she mind going into the nursing home, just for a week,

maybe a fortnight, just to give me a bit of time with the kids

and get my head round things.

Once she went into the home physically,

her health just deteriorated, so it did.

She was there 14 years.

-14 years?

-14 years she was in the nursing home.

Alistair, would you visit your mum a lot? When she was in the home?

About once a week I'd go up.

Because we weren't sure whether she could hear or see us.

I would have taken the local newspaper,

so I would and actually read to her, but that's the problem,

we don't know whether she could hear me or not.

-So the wedding is a big deal.

-It's a big deal, yeah.

All weddings should be big deals.

Alistair, what do you make of the whole concept about marriage

and weddings?

If two people love each other,

they should be allowed to marry each other.

That's me there. I'm just going to put this on top,

to stop the cats getting at it while it dries for a day or two.

DOG BARKS

And how are you keeping, all right?

-Who?

-You.

-Me? I'm keeping OK.

So far, anyway.

-What's that under the TV?

-That wee black box? That's my other dog. Sandy.

It was supposed to go in Roy's coffin, but they wouldn't allow it.

Although I don't see what harm it could have done.

-And where's Roy's ashes now?

-There scattered over the sea.

-Have you got any of them?

-In that wee thing. Only a wee skimpy bit.

But it is hard to open, and you can spill it if you try to open it.

-It's not so easy to open.

-Did you spill some of it?

-Some of it!

-Where?

-Somewhere in here, I think.

He'll come back and haunt me.

After Roy died, and he was cremated and all, I saw four ghosts,

and the fourth one was Roy's face. And he had his own hair back.

And all he did was smile at me and that was it.

-Did you say anything to him?

-No.

-Was it nice?

-Yes, nice to see him. Nice to see him smiling.

-Where do you think he is now, Sally?

-Not a clue. Somewhere up there.

-Hi, Molly.

-Have you got my trousers?

-Pardon?

-Have you got my trousers?

-Which ones?

Cold, that way now!

Ha-ha-ha!

MUSIC: "Say You Say Me" by Lionel Richie

Pardon? Who's he? I'm checking to make sure they are clean.

# Say you, say me

# Say it for always

# That's the way it should be

# Say you, say me

# Say it together

# Naturally... #

Now, George, will you solemnly promise that you will honour

and cherish her in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, and

that in all things, you will be to her a faithful and loving husband?

I will.

-Amanda.

-I will.

-And come to the exchange of rings.

-It won't go on.

-It will!

Alistair, keep it short and sweet. Thank you, Alistair.

APPLAUSE

As he has pointed out,

I have forgotten to print out my speech,

so I would like to thank Amanda and George for this very nice meal we

are about to have. He said short and sweet, so there you go.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

# Don't close your eyes

# Let it be me

# Don't pretend it's him

# In some fantasy

# Darling, just once

# Let yesterday go... #

WHISTLE BLOWS

Well done!

Where's the fucking linesman?

All the best.

-Yes, all right, good to see you. Good to see you.

-Here, I meant to ask you.

-Yes. Go ahead.

Were you down here when my two great uncles were down here, Beefy and Buttons?

Yes, Beefy Hunter played when I was playing.

-Buttons as well?

-I have a good memory, haven't I?

INDISTINCT CHATTER

-What are you doing?

-When did you used to play here, Arthur?

I played with the Crusaders from 1949 to 1953.

That's Joan. Joan Josephine Brady.

All the best.

-Is it getting any easier, Arthur?

-Eh?

-Is it getting any easier?

It never will, and I don't want it to.

Because if it gets any easier, all is lost. You give up.

I would never give up for her. So I wouldn't. Never.

I don't think it'll ever get any easier.

And to get any easier, I would have to forget,

and I don't want to forget.

MUSIC: "Who Knows Where The Time Goes?" by Sandy Denny

# And I am not alone

# While my love is near me

# Before the winter fire

# I will still be dreaming

# I have no fear of time

# For who knows how my love grows?

# And who knows where the time goes? #

Who's next, please?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd