Episode 1 City of Faith

I think that life itself is meaningless unless God is with you.

When you have faith, it is life, it means life to you.

Everything you do in life all centres around your faith.

And if you don't have faith,

I think life, in many senses, must be fairly empty.

It controls your life, it is your life when you've faith.

This cathedral, I would say, it's not a building.

There's an awful lot more to this cathedral.

Armagh people, they have been baptised here,

they've been married here, they have been buried here.

It's something that's ingrained within the people of Armagh.

It's not just a building, it's a symbol.

A symbol of a faith, the faith of a people.

It means so, so much more than just a building.

I wasn't born in Armagh, I wouldn't have that same

depth as the Armagh people themselves would have,

but I've grown to love this building since the whole restoration

programme was initiated because I was very involved in it.

You had over 100 years of dirt and grime in those walls,

and when it was cleaned and the mosaics were shining,

you were looking at it with fresh eyes.

In 1835,

when Archbishop Crolly was appointed to Armagh,

he made the statement that he was going to live in Armagh,

and he was going to build a cathedral in Armagh.

What Primate Crolly was doing was re-establishing his roots

with Patrick, and he was also putting Armagh back

at the very centre of religion in Ireland.

'We can know you because you have made yourself known to us in Him.

'And we can love you

'because you have first loved us in Christ, your son.'

Good morning, how are you? Good to see you. Good morning.

And so as we celebrate this gift of love

and sing your praise this morning, help us find your Holy Spirit,

that we will worship you not only with our lips but from our hearts.

'When we're in church,

'sometimes you're singing a hymn or you're listening to somebody preach,

'and every now and again, totally spontaneous, every now and again,

'I have had this experience of God being very close to you.

'Something jumps out at you, and you feel God saying,'

"You know, Dave, this is for you, you know. You need to wake up here.

"I'm trying to talk to you here,

I want to get our relationship back in order."

I believe in God who created me, who loves me

and has saved me from punishment that I deserve for my sin,

and to me my faith is the assurance,

not only of God's love and God's saving grace in my life,

it is the hope of what is to come, and for us to have that same faith

then helps us to make decisions together.

I studied medicine at Queen's,

and particularly chose to specialise in pathology.

I do find it fascinating to look under a microscope

and to think that our God created this and controls each

and every cell, I just find amazing.

Being a Christian, I feel like I have the cure for something terrible,

but the cure is from sin,

so when I look at other people I want to share that with them.

The best cure that you have, that you can offer to somebody else.

I just with I could do it better.

I came to Armagh 35, 36 years ago.

Come from Belfast and come from Falls Road to Armagh.

It was a dreadful change, you know. I didn't like it.

It was very, very quiet, the Troubles were on, and I remember

driving down one of the streets the first or second night I came

and all the shops were closed, half five, not a sinner on the streets.

I said, "God, you know, I've made a mistake."

I got into the Armagh way

and I found the Armagh people beautiful people.

There's a great depth with them,

there's a great generosity of spirit with them.

They have a great faith.

It's really the ecclesiastical capital of Ireland.

It's the seat of my church and the Church of Ireland.

And they carry the same message.

The same message is, trust God.

Deep down inside, I believe that every person has

a belief in a God of some kind or other.

Deep down in there, deep inside, there's that feeling for God,

or a yearning.

It's given me a belief that I'm here for a purpose.

I spent a lot of time searching for different things in life,

and the only thing that I found real depth

and meaning to my life is through that faith.

CHURCH BELLS TOLL

With Christmas coming up and all the busy-ness that there is, Father,

we will just not forget what it's all about.

That's a celebration of the birth of your son.

He ultimately went to Calvary to die and to take the punishment

for all our sins, Father, for all the people in this world,

and we just thank you so much for that

and we give you all the glory and all the praise.

And we pray that we will really celebrate that this Christmas. Amen.

So, the first thing, if we go to page 14 of our little booklets...

David and I met in school.

At that stage, lower sixth, we had both made a commitment to God.

So it was lovely to meet somebody

who was coming from the same angle as I was.

I'd met a lot of people who didn't have any time for Christianity,

and they were rather mocking of those who did, and I found it hard

to explain why I believed what I did because I'd grown up with it,

and it took me some time to understand what I believed

and why I believed it and to try and explain that to others.

You're being different,

and as a teenager the last thing you want to do is to be different,

but, just, God was really speaking to me

and I really felt that he was there with me

and that was something I had to do, that was something that...

I made that commitment, I loved the Lord Jesus, I wanted to serve him,

and that meant being different to other people.

For us, in our marriage, there's three people.

There's Claire and myself,

but there's the Lord Jesus, and he's intertwined in it.

We know that, if we exclude God from our marriage that it will fail,

and, particularly this last year

and all the pressures that we've been under, you know,

it's become more evident just how important it is to keep the focus.

And we're confident that if we can do that

that he will take us through the tough times.

All of us here I know have stepped over a threshold

when we accepted Christ as our own personal saviours.

It's simply through Jesus Christ,

that's the only way you will get to Heaven.

The most important thing that God has given me

in my life is the gift of sobriety,

because without that I wouldn't have anything at all,

I would have lost everything completely.

It in turn gave me a gift of faith and brought me

into a relationship with God as I understand him.

And I saw so many miracles happen in my life.

I see people who have been written off by everybody in society

and getting their wee act together and their lives together.

And they didn't do it on their own.

God was there in their lives for them.

So I've no problem.

Some people say, "Do you believe in miracles?"

I am one.

I am one.

The man who helped me stop drinking told me

that the greatest thing ever I have in my life

is power of example.

And I believe that to be true.

That if you show people by example, that there is another way.

I think that was the centre point of me deepening my faith

and seeing that there's more to life than living it the way I was living.

If it's about

the joy you got of contributing to helping someone else

rather than looking into yourself.

So forgetting about self

and concentrating on others made it easier.

SINGING

And he's present in our world

and he influences our world

in simple, yet very deeply profound ways.

This grotto is the perfect, perfect example of that.

Lourdes, to me, is a very special place.

I've come here quite a few years, quite a long time.

I get a bit of peace, a bit of solace here

and when you look round these mountains round here now

you can see the hand of God in them all.

The God of the fields, the God of the mountains.

There's a great tranquillity and peace here.

# ..God said to be servants of God

# By your songs of joy... #

In Lourdes you'll see an awful number of disabled people and sick people coming and

they are really the most important persons here

and it's our job to labour to them in whatever way they need help.

Most of them know they're not going to get cured,

but they get cured spiritually.

They get something from it,

they get an inner strength to face up to their situation.

And if those old people can endure that,

what can I not endure

because I have God with me?

In all these faith journeys you get more out of it personally

than you put into it and it's the self-satisfaction, I think,

of just doing something for people

and that's where the reward comes from.

Since I came to Armagh I've been involved with

the church in various ways.

Eucharistic Minister, lay reader,

and I think my big involvement with the parish

was the restoration of the cathedral here in 2003.

Each parish in the diocese was asked to raise

a certain amount of money,

which we did very successfully.

Then I was asked would I help produce a guidebook to the cathedral.

I was still principal in the local primary school here in Armagh.

It was a very demanding undertaking to be doing that,

but I'm happy enough to say that I'm pleased with the way it turned out.

As any Christian must feel, you have a commitment to other people.

What you get out of your faith is something that's very deep inside you

and it helps you to overcome any of the problems you come across in life.

When you have that core of faith, that belief in Christ,

I think that helps you through anything at all.

We'd always talked about having a family

and it was something we'd always like to do

so when we found out I was pregnant we were so excited.

And then we went to our big scan at 20 weeks.

Where are my keys? Where are my keys?

At the time I was just fascinated seeing these wee limbs

moving around inside Claire, I thought it was class.

And I started to see Claire's face dropping a wee bit

and I could start to see concern over it.

She asked a lady a question

and I didn't quite hear what it was.

And the lady replied, "I'm just so sorry, I'm so sorry."

It's just the worst words you could ever hear,

"I'm so sorry."

Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Good boy. I'll set that out of the way.

As the scan progressed I could see the baby on the screen

and in my head I could see there was something not quite right.

The tummy looked funny

and I sensed a change in the mood from the radiographer

and I asked her, "Is that the baby's abdomen?" And she said, "Yes."

I asked her was it gastroschisis and she said,

"No, I think it's exomphalos."

Um...

And at that point my world came crashing down around me.

I was devastated.

She was fighting back the tears and she was telling me what it was

then she says, "The baby, some of its organs are outside the body."

Yeah.

And we just were a mess,

you know, just sobbing our hearts out.

As a doctor I knew something about exomphalos.

I knew what it was and I knew the associations with it.

As a mum it terrified me, what this meant for a little baby.

Once it started to sink in and once the shock disappeared

you were going, "Why?"

"Why?"

You know, "Did we do something wrong?"

Father, we pray particularly for Daniel tonight.

Lord Jesus, we thank you for how well he's been recently, Lord,

and that he's growing well and we just ask that will continue, Father.

'I would be totally lying if it was just like, you take it on the chest and you go,

'"God's in control, it's all grand."

'It wasn't like that.

'It does shake you to the core.'

I remember saying, "I'm not a strong person, I can't deal with this."

And we were shaken, we were definitely shaken in our faith.

I remember crying at God and saying, "Why are you giving this to me?"

I thank you, Lord, that we can look to you in our trials

and in our difficulties and know that you are there,

that you're watching over us, Lord, and know that you have a purpose.

I keep going to bed hoping that I'll wake up in the morning

and it's all going to be OK and it didn't happen.

You woke up in the morning and there was just that sinking feeling going,

"Oh,

"This is real, this is happening."

Father, we would ask that you work through us

because we can't do it in our own strength.

We need you, Lord.

Despite the tears, despite the disappointment

that's really been when I felt God's presence.

I remember in particular God brought a verse to mind in the Bible

and it was Second Corinthians, chapter 12, verse nine.

"My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness."

And he was telling me that even though I'm a weak person

and I didn't feel that I had the strength to deal with this,

that he would be with me and that he'd give me strength.

Lord, I thank you

for the amazing mum that Claire is to him, for her devotion.

Father, give her strength, give me strength, Lord,

because sometimes it's not easy and you know that, Lord.

We ask all these things in your mighty name, Father. Amen.

The one day that's been the biggest event in my life here in Lourdes

was the day we went to Bartres with the invalids on the invalid bus.

When we got into the hotel car park there to take them off,

there was a priest standing there waiting for me.

He says, "I've just had bad news for you,

"that your son has died in Armagh."

So...that was the...

That was the worst time.

That was the worst day in all my life, really.

He was a great lad and he would have

some of the problems that I would have had

and he got off drink.

And life took a great turn for him, he was doing very well.

He worked as a nurse orderly in St Luke's Hospital in Armagh

and he enjoyed his work and...

There was a patient who made an accusation against him in the

hospital and he was suspended off work until the inquiry would be done.

'He told me, he says, "Daddy, I didn't do anything."

'And I knew. I know mine and mine know me. I knew.

'The day he died was a Saturday

'and he left his wife a beautiful letter

'and away he went.'

# Alleluia... #

'And he pulled into the lay-by there'

and that's where he died.

He took an overdose there and died.

That same evening that he died,

the police left a letter in his house saying

the good news was that he'd no cases to answer.

But...

'17 years, on the 30th of this month, the anniversary of my son.

'A dreadful, dreadful time.

'Pain and emotion.

'You wonder, "God, why do you let this happen?"'

'I believe in a God of mercy, a God of love

'and the truth of the matter is here,

'we don't know why these things happen.'

'I remember looking out of my garden one morning and I saw the trees

'and they were bare, there wasn't a leaf on them.

'That's just how I feel, raw and stripped naked, stripped bare.'

And, one morning sometime later,

I noticed a wee wart on the branch

and it was just the formation of a new wee bud.

And, every morning,

I could see it growing and growing.

And it came to full blossom again.

The memories are all there,

the sadness of it can be there.

'He is away to God and new life has happened.

'He's away to a new life and we're still with the old life here.'

CHORAL MUSIC

BABY CRIES

My, my. Was that awful?

SHE LAUGHS

We're not friends.

Oh... Oh, dear!

'I'm now a father and Daniel is the most precious thing

'I have in my life and I wouldn't give him up for anything.

'It's really hard to accept sometimes,

'cos we're totally powerless,

'but we know that God is in complete control of the situation.'

We know that he's looking over Daniel now,

that his hand's upon him.

We met people who knew that their children had

a condition that they wouldn't survive beyond a few

years of life and we met other people who had lost children

through medical conditions and going into hospital was often

a reality check, because although we felt that we had it tough,

we knew that we had a whole lot to be thankful for.

We're hoping that he will stay well over the next coming months

and it's giving him time, really, for his chest to develop.

For him to grow bigger.

And we hope that, in the springtime, when he's about

a year and a half, maybe, that he'll be ready for surgery.

'His ways are perfect.

'For us, sometimes we think we know best -

'the best thing is Daniel gets the surgery and he goes on

'and leads a happy life -

'but maybe God has something else in plan.

'Sometimes that's difficult to accept.

'But we trust in God and we know that his ways are higher than ours.'

And so there's lots of hope there,

but we also just trust in God that

things will work out and his will will be done in this situation.

Tonight, we give thanks to God for the fact that,

by dying on the cross,

Jesus gained for his Father a holy people.

We are that people,

called by God to share God's life

and to reveal his compassion to the rest of the world.

'I've been very fortunate in my life

'and I think the more fortunate that one is,'

I think you realise the problems and difficulties that other people have.

And you're a lot more thankful to God for the gifts

and graces he's given you.

Every so often, the Bishop of Rome, the chief pastor in our church,

honours a member of that priestly people.

Pope Francis has decided to confer on Mr Jack O'Hare

the Cross of Honour on account of the work he has done

and continues to do.

This is an honour for a number of reasons.

First of all, as a follower of Christ,

somebody who takes your duties very seriously.

And especially it's an honour for your contribution to the

life of this parish in caring for and recognising

the beauty of our cathedral.

We're all overjoyed that it is taking place,

because it is richly deserved.

APPLAUSE

You like to give back and to share your faith with others

and you hope that,

by doing what you do, that it might inspire

other people to live in the same way.

APPLAUSE

'I think my faith has made me what I am, for good or for ill.

'Everything I do would be a response to what I have thought,

'what I have read in the Bible.

'No matter what your problems, what your difficulties are,

'you'll always find comfort in something that Christ has said.'

There aren't very many people now who could say

they got a birthday present from the Pope.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

# Happy birthday to you... #

'I have found the last 18 months with Daniel very, very difficult,

'as I've tried to deal with his health issues.

'To know that I'm not alone in that

'and that the God of this universe is with me'

and he promises never to leave me,

that's just brought me so much comfort

in what I'm going through right now.

'During the course of the day, I would talk to him.

'Thanks for what you're doing for me.

'I'm going into a tense situation here,

'be close to me, direct me, guide me and spare me.

'I thank him for another day that I didn't have to take a drink.

'And it was nice to kneel down and say,

"Thanks, God. Thanks for the good day I've had.

"Give me a good night's sleep."

And it's a long, long time from I've had a sleepless night.