Episode 3 City of Faith

We begin, Father God, by just acknowledging this beautiful morning.

We praise and thank you for the sunshine

and as we stand here at this vantage point,

we look around and we can see a lot of Armagh.

And we are conscious that behind us,

we have the Church of Ireland cathedral

and further across on the other hill, there's the Catholic cathedral.

Both called St Patrick's Cathedral,

and we hark back to Patrick when he came here.

And he came just to give one word from God.

There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism,

one God who is father of all in all, over all and through all.

So, girls, we're here this morning,

as you know, just again to do one of our prayer walks

and we start conscious that we do anything we do

in the power of the holy name of Jesus

because on our own, as you know, we can't do a thing.

The prayer walk would have started, I suppose, when I was praying.

A thought would come into my head - you need to pray about such and such.

'Maybe there had been a bombing or a shooting or whatever else.'

You are a god of community, Father, son and holy spirit,

and you want unity.

'There are five of us who live here locally

'who regularly attend the meetings

'and if we believe that God is almighty, he can heal anything.'

Absolutely anything. There's nothing beyond him.

And we ask in the power of the holy name of Jesus,

cleanse and heal everybody, every organisation,

every little community and subgroup, cleanse and heal us all.

-Do you say amen to that, girls?

-Amen, yes. We say amen to that.

All praise to the father the Almighty,

to his son Jesus Christ, our Lord.

To the spirit who dwells in our heart both for now and for ever, amen.

'How do we let the King of Glory in to heal his people?

'Because God is our father

'and he wants to pour out blessings galore on his children.'

Thank you, Jesus. Praise you, Jesus.

'But the blessings couldn't get through'

because the sins of history had not been confessed.

We bring to you every act which caused pain

and suffering to other human beings,

whether it was a bomb on Thomas Street

or a bomb at the foot of Scotch Street here,

we bring it all and we say, Lord, we have sinned against you.

'We realised that we were just doing what Daniel the Prophet did,

'where he says, "We and our ancestors have sinned against you."'

And he was confessing the sins of his people

and it was only when they're confessed that God can forgive them.

Praise him, thank you. Bless you, Jesus.

Praise, and thank you, Jesus.

Praise you, Jesus.

'In your light we see light.'

Praise you, Jesus.

Friends, this morning we only know because God came to us first.

We can't work it up or do it ourselves.

God visited your soul one day and brought salvation

when you believed in him.

And that is the wonder of our salvation.

And he opened up your mind and opened up your life to truth.

And what does the truth do? It sets you, what?

-ALL: Free.

-Free!

'We pray for the presence of God.

'And the greatest miracle, for me, is the miracle of salvation,

'of being spiritually alive.'

He's put his spirit in you.

In other words, he's giving you a mission and a great commission...

Because I know the Bible tells me that heaven and earth will pass away

but God's word, and Jesus is God's word, that'll never pass away.

# Praise is rising

# Eyes are turning

# To you

# We turn to you... #

Faith, for me, is being able to thank God

for something that he promises to do before he's done it.

I always knew there was a God

but there was always this idea, even in my own head,

that if I become a Christian that I would actually miss out.

I was at a time in my life where addictions had got a hold of me.

I was despairing and God said to me that if I trusted him

that he would save me out of that and that he would change me.

He would give me a purpose in life and a destiny

and that I would one day be in heaven with him.

That's faith, for me.

CONGREGATION SINGS HYMN

A lot of people believe in God.

A lot of people don't but for me, God does love all of us

no matter who or what we are.

Whether we believe in him or not, he still loves us.

That, for me, is the difference of living with trust in God

and living for years with, "I believe there is a God but,

"you know, sometimes I wonder where he is."

THEY SING HYMN

I think when I was young it was a case of

"this is what you do on a Sunday."

And you go and you're told to go

and you go right up until you're confirmed,

and in fact, it was then that I probably fell away from the church.

It was more or less the same type of thing every Sunday

and I just felt that the words in the service didn't mean anything.

It was just a case of you sort of wandered off.

There just wasn't any great interest in what they were saying

and it was my own lack of understanding.

Lord of the harvest, we give you thanks for your church.

We give you thanks for all that we have,

for the food on our tables, for the people who we share our lives with.

'I was at church one Sunday morning with a friend of mine, Hazel.

'There was a letter read out by the rector

'instead of a sermon that morning

'and it was sort of a plea for people to come forward

'and help in the church.

'After we left church she asked me

'if I had taken a copy of the letter that had been read out.'

"I don't want to be helping in the church!

"I'm a back-seat person, I don't want to be standing up there."

A couple of weeks later, Hazel and I were out for a walk.

We came back to her house, where my car was parked,

and I drove straight to the rector's house with no explanation

other than I was I was offering some sort of service

and all of a sudden I was going to be doing a parish reader's course

and that's where it all stemmed from, really.

I didn't really know what faith was

but it was a word that was used quite a lot, you know?

I maybe made the mistake of thinking that it was religious practice

and discovered later it has very little to do with that.

We can say all the time, "Well, yes, I trust in God,"

and so on and so forth, but most of the time we don't really.

We really just have our own plans and we say,

"This is what I am planning to do, Lord,

"and I'd like your imprimatur on it."

Nut, actually, realising first of all that we can ask,

"Lord, what is your plan?

"How do I fit into it? What is your plan for me? Etc."

And then, taking a chance when nothing in your circumstances

would suggest that it's the right thing to take,

as the world would see,

that it's the right thing to take a chance, do you know what I'm saying?

Just actually sticking your neck out a wee bit.

God, in his goodness, gives us a lot of wonderful experiences

but they're really just sweets for children, you know?

Most of us are children in our faith

and it's only maybe when we're into our 40s or 50s

that we begin to start growing up in our faith, you know.

And the only way that you can invite God in is

when we bring all the negative influences of our personal history,

our family history, bring them to God and say, "This happened."

There was a line from Scripture,

"Parents, do not drive your children to resentment,"

and there was a lot of resentment in me.

LATIN CHANT

I don't always look at religion being Christianity.

I suppose, growing up in the years that I grew up in the Troubles,

religion was a Catholic/Protestant thing.

And I never really did things religiously.

I liked to have a little bit more freedom than that.

As time went on I really did drift away from the church,

so once I got the opportunity not to have to go,

once I came 18, we could sort of do what we liked.

I had done office studies at the tech here in Armagh.

I never particularly wanted to work in an office but there wasn't

an awful lot to choose from back in that period, '79, '80.

I thought, "Is this what life is going to be like?"

And then I got the opportunity to join the Ulster Defence Regiment.

It was the height of the Troubles

and it wasn't received very well at home

but after six months' part-time service,

I was asked to go full-time.

Those first ten years I spent in Armagh in Drumadd Barracks,

and met many good friends

and we also lost a lot of friends.

The biggest thing would have been the absence of God for me,

because it was always this thing, where is God? Where is he?

Where is God now? What has happened here?

Why is he allowing this to happen?

A lot of people had died before I joined the UDR.

I suppose when you're only 19 or 20,

you don't see it as a big risk

but Charlie Armstrong's funeral

was the first one that I attended in military uniform.

He was serving as a chairman of the council and he was also

a high-ranking officer in the Ulster Defence Regiment

but, you know, people didn't see

the good that he did for the city of Armagh.

Charlie had actually been a referee for me

when I had applied to join the UDR and just looking at his gravestone,

you know, I'm just a year younger than him now when he died.

There were people with great faith

and they did seem to be able to cope with things a lot better.

I suppose, in many respects, we sort of would have went to the bar

just maybe to try and numb the pain of the thing

and to maybe cover up the grief in some way.

And it was like that, I suppose, for probably every murder.

But the big thing was, you know, I just wondered where God was.

Lord, I just seek your commanded blessing tonight, Lord,

as we join our hearts, Lord, to lift you up.

Lord Jesus, Lord, we humbly come and pray, Lord,

that you will be glorified, Lord.

'When I was growing up it was in

'a difficult period for Northern Ireland

'and a lot of people were hurting.

'There was a lot of disillusionment, especially in my generation,

'and people wanted something to do.

'For me, I got involved in football clubs and played football

'but whenever I got involved in the football

'and you would have went to the pub afterwards,

'then you would have went clubbing.

'I would say I would never go to raves

'and never get involved in that whole culture

'and I ended up with addictions to drugs.'

It's your truth, Lord, you came to bind up the broken-hearted, Lord.

'And it was just a dark time.'

I'd just run out of enjoying life and I didn't want life to go on.

Amen.

All right?

Music: "Clair De Lune" by Debussy

We pray in the morning.

You're more than welcome to come along out to Armagh Elim Church.

-Is that on the Portadown Road?

-It is.

-Aye.

Do you want one?

HE LAUGHS

-There yous go.

-Thank you.

-You're more than welcome.

If I get a good job, if I get the wife, I get the kids,

if I get the holidays, and then you just die, what is the point in life?

I decided I just didn't want to go on with this world.

And I hid myself away in my house

and it started off for days at a time, then weeks at a time.

And whenever you're doing that,

everything around you starts to crumble.

My body was ravaged and even mentally, I wasn't coherent.

I'd got to a point where after visiting my doctor

he was sort of quite amazed that I was still alive.

I was born a Catholic, like, but I don't care about any religion.

I just don't pay any attention.

I don't get into that. I get into Jesus.

I just don't see what the difference is. Everyone is a person.

For me it's not about any of those things either.

I was mad into the party scene, mad into DJing,

mad into travel, mad into drink, the whole lot,

and just head wrecked, life destroyed

and then I met Jesus and just trusted him

and he kept changing it and changing it and changing it, you know?

'I woke up one morning and I couldn't remember the weeks

'and whenever I started to think about it even properly,

'even the years that had preceded that moment

'and I became physically aware of eternal things

'and became very conscious that hell was real.

'The idea that there would never be an opportunity again,

'should I slip over that line, that would be it,

'there would never be anything good

'that I could look for hope for again and in that moment,

'I believe that I heard the voice of God telling me that he loved me'

and I knew that there was an opportunity here.

Being sure that I was going to have satisfied that eternal thing

in my heart, I knew, "I'm safe, I going to heaven no matter what."

The opportunities began to open up for me to go and speak to people,

either tell my story or share from the word of God and to teach people.

That wasn't something that I set out to do or thought I could do.

The Bible became alive.

It became a living word in my life and gave me wisdom for life

to be able to live the life that I believe that God wants me to live.

And I know in heaven there'll not be any more pain

and there'll be no more suffering, there'll be no more sorrow.

Everything that we sacrifice in this world

for the Lord Jesus Christ will be rewarded in heaven.

..in the name of the Father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit.

Amen.

'In my very early life

'the only emotion that was actually activated in me,

and this isn't a finger-pointing exercise by any means,

it's just stating how things were,

the only emotion that was activated in me

in my very early childhood was fear.

There was a lot of verbal abuse that, as you would expect,

had a profoundly negative effect on my self esteem.

Just past my mid-20s I recall on one occasion

sitting on the corner of my bed.

I just said, "Look, Lord, I'm at this stage in my life now.

"I don't know why I'm alive.

"If you just allowed me to be born to be a punch bag

"I wish you hadn't bothered."

# We ask you, take our hearts

# We love you, take our lives

# Oh, father, we are yours

# We are yours. #

'Within six weeks he gave me a very clear and wonderful answer.

'I was over in London with a sister who used to live over there.

'We had heard about a healing priest who was visiting in London.

'I remember going in to him

'and I just know he put his hand out under my head

'and he said to me,'

"My poor child, you have never known the love of a father or a mother."

For the first time in my life I felt totally and utterly loved.

For about three days, I just cried and I cried and I cried

and I cried, tears that I should have cried as a child

but wasn't able to, wasn't free to or whatever.

"This is my personal truth."

At last it has been spoken out and a weight was lifted off me.

'I knew all this pain that was inside me,

'but there was no way that I could do anything about it

'except for God's divine intervention.'

We just bring the whole history of this prison to you, Lord.

'And he loves me and he doesn't think I'm bad

'and he doesn't think I'm useless

'and he knows why he allowed me to be created.'

We ask your blessing, Lord...

"I have commissioned you to pray for the healing of Ireland."

And straightaway, I picked up the phone, rang some friends and said,

"Look, I'm going to start a prayer group, will you come?"

'I find myself beginning to enjoy life,

'beginning to be a bit more confident.

'Actually wanting to pray more because,'

if this is how God answers prayer, bring it on,

I want more and more and more and more and more of it

till the day I die, you know?

'But if all the good women would just say, "I will allow God

"to intervene in a situation in my street, in my road,

"in my housing estate," or whatever,

because God can do wonderful things and he does do wonderful things

but, he will only do it when he's invited in to do it.

CHURCH BELLS TOLL

I believe that Armagh had a special visitation from God

through a man in particular, Patrick, or St Patrick.

And whenever I look into this city

I see a stirring of God again in people's hearts,

where people are being impressed upon,

I believe by God, to move in faith,

to see changes that will bring godly changes about in this city.

Off you go. You go in with Daddy. You go in with Daddy. Go in with Daddy.

'I always had this thought from I was very young that God wanted me

'to serve him as a minister.'

'This was a calling that he had in my life

'and I'm not saying it's for everybody at all, but for me,

'I knew I had to give up my job and give up my home and go.

'We took time out as a family

'and we decided that we'd live in faith

'through those times as well and trust him'

and right through Bible college, God was faithful to me in providing.

"More words that you can..." Oh...

-Do you want me to do the whole book?

-All right.

-Set it down.

'We literally prayed the food onto the table and oil into the tank.

'There was one winter's morning, we'd no oil.

'There was a knock on the door.

'This man who I'd never met before asked me my name

'and he told me that he was a local businessman

'and he felt that God had said to him

'to put on in our tank and was that OK?'

Hello!

'And for the glory of God I said,

'"Yes, and it'll be a little bit warmer too in the house."

'It was great. This is my story.'

I'm not saying this is for everybody but when you step out in faith

and what God wants you to do, God will provide in his ways,

you know, and you trust that.

I remember when my father died and I remember being with him

and questioning what life is. "What is this all about?"

I mean, at that time I would have been very much into work

and work was everything.

Whilst I completed the 22 years in between the UDR

and the Royal Irish, in many ways, for me that was the end.

The Alpha Course, I had heard about it through a friend of mine.

For me, really, it was a big turning point

because it was this really simple insight into the Christian life

and this was like a whole new living thing for me.

I decided that I would go back to church regularly

and then eventually I ended up as a parish reader.

There's something just about the inner peace that you have.

And, yes, you do have to go through the hard times

and that is quite sad and no family misses out on them,

but it's that inner peace

and it's that that I would have struggled with most of my life

and now, that is a great thing to have.

I mean, all those things that happened,

you're never going to forget any of that.

I wondered at times where God was in the midst of all the murders

and different things that happened.

And I look back sometimes

and I think, perhaps he was there with the people who were hurting.

You know, he probably was with the widow, or the son,

or the daughter, or the husband, or the wife.

And I suppose, a way for me to cope with all of that

is to sort of let it go,

just to let God have it because I can't make justice happen

and I can't change the situation,

but I can get rid of my own bitterness

by perhaps just letting go.

I think you only have to look around you today and, you know,

people must be blind if they can't see some sort of creation here.

To me, this is God's creation.

Until I actually find that I sit down

and take that wee bit of time with God,

it's only then that I get the real answers

and get the real sense of peace

and I just know that there is some sort of healing beginning.

Now, that doesn't wipe out every tragedy that happens,

or it doesn't just make you feel wonderful right away,

but it gives you that sense of peace.

And I don't think I would want to live my life without that peace.

God said to me that if I trusted him

he would change me and he keeps changing me.

I just keep believing.

There's nothing complicated about it.

Scriptures like John 3:16,

"Fr God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son,

"that whoever believes in him will not perish

"but have everlasting life."

I know, for me, without God I was perishing.

Absolutely everything that happened in life,

which is everything that God has allowed to happen

because he's totally in control, it happened for a purpose

and there's something to be learned from it,

including from the negative times.

"OK, I'm going through a bad patch at the moment, my faith is low,

"I'm going to grin and bear it because I know that it has come

"but it comes to pass."

And I love those words from scripture -

"And it came to pass."

Because everything, both good and bad, comes to pass.