Episode 3 Departure Diaries

A staggering 500 people leave Northern Ireland every week in search of work abroad.

We follow three families embarking on the biggest move of their lives.

I was hoping he'd change his mind and not go.

Through the highs and lows, the excitement and the fears,

the tears and the heartache.

This is possibly the last time I'll ever see my mum.

And the final goodbyes.

I graduated university with a master's degree in urban planning and property development.

There wasn't many jobs happening.

Like many Northern Irish graduates, Frank Boyd has struggled to get a foot on the career ladder.

And is back home with his parents just outside Toome.

Luckily for me, I had the family business to fall back on.

I don't know what I'd be doing if this place wasn't here.

I've worked here most of my life.

I've always enjoyed the work.

I never really saw myself going into the business

like my brothers, maybe taking over the shop.

I always wanted to do something else, go and find my own way.

Over recent years, youth unemployment has rocketed.

Frank's girlfriend Claire has found it difficult to get a steady job.

But she too is now working at the Boyds' family shop.

Claire is in the same boat now.

There are jobs in Belfast but they're mostly sales-related jobs.

Um, a lot of long hours.

The shop's been running for years. It's Frank's dad's business.

It was renovated just last year. That's when I started. I've been working here ever since.

He invested in the till and the office. I've been working here full time for a year and a half.

The thought of travelling has always appealed to me but I never really done anything about it.

I've seen everybody else was leaving and I thought I want to see what this is like as well.

So I talked to Claire and asked what she wanted to do.

We decided we'd both be up for going somewhere to see what it was like.

Always in the back of my head that I wanted to go away.

I never thought New Zealand at the start.

It was more Frank's idea. He was really determined.

Once he finished university, he wanted to go somewhere. I was a bit apprehensive

because I didn't know if I wanted to teach or where to go.

I want to see what the market's like out there, especially for jobs in my degree.

See what it's like to live in a different country.

Try and make it on my own basically.

We've got friends who have been to different places.

Go for the year and then come back hoping to find a job here.

But I like the idea of maybe settling somewhere else.

-How are you two guys going today?

-Not too bad.

They say I might as well do it while I have the opportunity.

A lot of the customers I have in here say

go try it and see what it's like and if you enjoy it stick at it.

I come from a really big family. They were apprehensive because no one else has moved away before.

Mummy said to me that if I don't do it now I may never do it.

Better do it now when I'm young and see as much of the world as I can.

When Dane Barr qualified as a barrister, he thought he had a career for life.

But after practicing for three years, work began to dry up.

Unable to meet his annual barrister fees,

Dane decided he'd have to find another job.

After dozens of failed applications, he ended up working in the local supermarket.

I've got to call in to my old work here

and pick up some of my holiday pay.

I ended up working in that grocery shop for seven months

because I wasn't able to get anything more substantial.

They told me they were umming and ahhing about hiring me because they thought,

"Why does somebody with qualifications want to work here?"

I would much prefer to work than sit back and say, "That's beneath me."

All the way through school you're told, "Go to university, get a degree, get a good job."

You're told that graduates earn so much more.

Then you come out of university with a whole load of student debt

and find out that isn't the case.

Unable to pay the rent on his flat in Belfast,

Dane was forced to move back in with his mum in Ballygowan.

A lot of my life in the last seven years has been rather unceremoniously dumped.

Everything's in boxes.

I never expected to be back here again once I moved out.

Once I realised I could afford to remain outside of my parents' house

after I finished being a student,

I thought, "This is great, this is it, this is how it works."

I expected, at this point in my life,

maybe to have a down payment ready for a house.

While those at the top of the legal profession here can command six-figure salaries,

for young barristers, getting established is a long hard slog for very little money.

Another thing I won't be taking away with me is my wig,

which would be about as much use to me out there as it has been to me here in the last year.

That's one of the tools of my former trade.

I always had the feeling that, really, what Dane wanted to do was ultimately be a judge.

Because Dane didn't like it whenever I set rules for him.

Dane is very close with sister Kelsey and mum Caroline.

They've loved having him back in the house.

But it's something they never expected to happen.

When he came home, I was sad for him.

He did think he was only going to be here for a few months.

He was still very optimistic that he would find a career

maybe in the legal field or maybe somewhere else. But, unfortunately, that didn't happen.

I started applying for jobs while I was still practicing because

I knew the way things were heading, and I'd have to get out of this.

Eventually, I decided I'd have to leave and try somewhere entirely different.

I'm going to Malaysia, to Kuala Lumpur.

Which is, by all accounts, weathering the financial storm.

I think it's sad that all these well-educated people full of promise

have to actually go to another country to use their talents.

I think that, once they leave, it's highly unlikely they'll come back.

Recent years have seen Australian companies coming to Ireland and the UK to recruit skilled workers.

Lurgan-based Brendan Rafferty has accepted a four-year contract to drive buses in Melbourne.

He has five weeks to get his family ready to move.

I've been a bus driver now for... It'll be ten years in May.

When I finished university,

I was working in a design studio for about three years.

And, of all the office jobs there is,

it's probably one of the more interesting ones.

But, even as that, it really wasn't for me.

I wasn't looking for an office job.

The company have been really good to me.

They've given me a year out, which means I can take a year career break.

If I didn't have that, I probably wouldn't be doing this.

I probably wouldn't be going to Australia.

Although her work has allowed her to travel far and wide,

Brendan's wife Sheila has always lived in Lurgan.

Now she's giving up the job she loves for a new life far from her closest family and friends.

An awful lot of people have come in and said, "I can't believe it. I've just heard."

People who would know my family or just know that I'm going.

Wishing me the best and "Go for it," and everything.

It's only been positive things.

They always say, "You can always come home."

They end up saying that. Which is true. You can always come home if it doesn't work.

We'll have to just be brave and take that plunge.

We can only make up our minds when we are there.

Brendan and Sheila are trying to convince their children Hannah and Adam

that the move to Australia is for the best.

Their future prospects are one of the main reasons for the family leaving.

We've got the mobile home at a campsite. We've booked four weeks.

And, hopefully, in those four weeks we'll get the home sorted out,

the car sorted out, the school sorted out.

The kids are a big concern, trying to sell it to the kids.

So, if I can convince the kids from here, it's going to break the fall.

Adam has taken quite a lot of persuasion to get him into the mindset of actually going over.

In fact, I think he was dreading the idea from the start.

At their age, the world is their friends, you know.

That's what they care about most in the world.

They come home from school, they go straight on to their computer games. Talking to their friends.

They're just at that age where everything is around their friends.

But we're assuring them that they will still have friends. Initially,

Adam was very apprehensive. He literally burst out in tears.

The thought of it scared him.

And his reaction really took us to the point...

"Oh, my goodness," we weren't expecting it to be that bad.

I was very nervous.

I was very, er,...

..snapped, so I was.

I was like, "What they got there?"

It was just a big surprise, so it was.

Whereas Hannah thought this was great, this was great news.

It was the opposite with her.

But as time's moved on, she's got a little bit more worried

and things like that.

I'm a wee bit sad in leaving my friends and family.

Like, they all care and all.

I'll miss everyone but it'll be all right.

They're prepared to give it a go. The things that we'll be doing, we'll be doing it together.

Um, they are going to find new friends when they start school.

That's the first school we looked at, the primary school.

They will have no problems.

We're going to make sure they're going to have a ball when they arrive.

The good thing is, this time of year, it is the summer time, the kids are all off school.

We're hoping there will be other families and kids at the campsite.

And they'll have fun, make friends even straightaway.

They've only ever known this house, this street, this town.

They've never lived anywhere other than this house.

So I can understand it but we're giving them a big opportunity.

We keep telling them that. We've also said to them

that if it doesn't work out, we don't like it, we don't fit in,

it's not for us, we'll come home.

Dane is out with his uncles, sister, and father David.

Although his parents are separated,

the family have always remained close.

There we go. It's your round again, Dane.

We had a group hug almost earlier on this evening before we came out.

That started the water works going. And, er, understandably so.

It's the small things that I'll miss most.

Where I was growing up and he and I were going across the fields to do a bit of hunting and things.

And also to just generally walk about the fields

and to pick up things from the ground and make things with them.

Simple things like that that I'll miss quite a lot.

I've grown up here and it's something I'm going to miss.

You know, the scenery that I'm used to and the change of seasons.

When I was younger, I'd be out running across the fields.

Go into the woodlands. There used to be a bog or marshland.

I used to go and pick up bog oak, oak trees that have died

and fallen into the bog and been preserved over thousands of years.

It's a really nice wood to work with

for carving, for making things like jewellery and sculpture.

Something really Irish as well.

Something that grounds you to the country you're from and the area you're from.

In Toome, Frank and Claire's departure is only a few days away.

The idea of a permanent move is only just dawning on the Boyd family.

Frank's mum Kathleen is trying her best to be supportive.

I don't know.

I feel that this is not what he wants to do, at the shop, working there.

It wouldn't be fair to keep him there.

I'm pleased that they're going, for them to see a bit of the world.

But I would like to think they wouldn't settle there.

That would be too far away.

If they went to Canada, or near home, it would have been different.

You have to let them go and see how things work out.

I'm thinking I hope it doesn't work out for him and they come back here.

But probably he's thinking different.

I think a lot of the family think I'm just going for a year and then coming home.

I haven't had the heart to tell them that, if it goes well, I could stay out there longer.

It's their last week at home and both Frank and Claire are starting to feel a little anxious.

-That's a map of the area.

-I'm nervous.

I think it's going to be a shock more than anything.

It's realising it's not a holiday.

We're actually going out to stay there for a year. Maybe longer.

Um, I think what's worrying me is not being able to find a job and having to come back.

Because we've been telling everybody, "Oh, we're going, we're going."

I don't want to come back in a couple of weeks and say what went wrong.

I think that's my biggest fear.

I think people out there have more opportunities, basically,

than what they have here. I hope the same opportunities are there for us.

-The dream would be a nine-to-five job.

-Yeah.

I've worked every Saturday since I was 13. For the last 10 years.

I would love a nine-to-five job from Monday to Friday.

-Might not be that lucky. We'll take it as it comes.

-I'll take anything.

I've snagged drinks for a year and a half.

I think I've taken that as far as I can go with that, you know.

With departure now only two days away,

Dane is moving the last of his belongings to his dad's house in Comber.

I'm proud of him for making such a bold decision. I couldn't have done it at that age.

But he's being brave about that. He's travelling alone on his own.

I'm very hopeful he will be able to make it and someday he'll come back.

I don't know how we'll get these bigger ones up here, Dad.

He's not just a great son, Dane.

He's a great friend of mine. I'll certainly miss watching the rugby with him.

And having a pint with him. Having a few pints with him.

This was drawn about two years ago.

It will always hang on the wall.

And, um...

And to remind me of him when he's away, you know.

In Lurgan, Brendan is spending time with Adam to find out how he's feeling about the move to Australia.

ADAM LAUGHS

Adam has been struggling with the idea ever since Brendan was offered a job there.

-That was the best one.

-Yep.

When I first got the email

-about the whole Australia thing, you didn't want to do it.

-Yeah.

Was it that you were going off to make new friends the biggest problem?

I'm just going to miss my old friends and family.

If we could go and I could take five friends with me, I'd really want to go.

Is that the way you still think?

-You kind of have convinced me, you did.

-Did I?

-Yeah.

It looks very good. I looked it up on YouTube

and there's lots of beaches and they look really long.

Oh!

My biggest worry will be my kids definitely.

Because, regardless of how much money you're going to earn,

or what the climate is,

everybody knows what Australia is about.

But my kids happiness is by far the most important thing ever.

I think they'll be OK.

Tonight's just about seeing friends.

We're going in two days' time, so probably the last chance to see everyone before we go.

I've never been away at Christmas before. I'm going to miss family.

It'll only be the wife and me in the house this Christmas.

So a bit of a change.

I will miss him terribly and especially at Christmas.

For Claire's parents Essy and Mick it's the first time

one of their nine children will be living so far from home.

and for such a long time.

Christmas time, that's the time I like to see them all about.

It's not really a good time to go away.

Just at Christmas, it's even worse I think.

CHATTER

It's been a bit mental. It's been busy trying to sort everything out.

I didn't give myself a lot of time between booking my flights and having to go.

Bitten off a bit more than I can chew in terms of having to get everything sorted.

It all depends on whether I'll be able to get a job out there.

I'm not going out to a particular job.

So it's a case of...

I know I've got enough saved up to last me maybe four or five months.

But, hopefully, I'll be able to get employment a lot more quickly than that.

The hardest thing to leave behind will be my friends and family.

A lot of the friends I have I've known since I was in school.

LAUGHTER

It's not ideal but I know exactly why you're doing it.

Things here with jobs has been terrible. Like, it's been what,

three years of just struggling to get any sort career going.

Our friendships are going to last not hold you back from doing what you want to do.

It's not going to split us up. Things like Facebook will keep us in contact.

You know, just go over and see. In the end, it'll be like that.

It's Claire's final night. The family have gathered to say their farewells.

Among them are sisters Melanie, Lisa and Janet.

Claire's parents have been worrying about her leaving for weeks.

The thought of her going hasn't got easier.

Be careful.

'It's been a terrible fear for years that she would go away.'

It splits families up.

They don't realise it but their parents and even grandparents

that could be the last they'll see of them.

I think Claire will miss the rest of the family.

And the rest of the family will miss her because they're close.

-The two young girls are close.

-They're very close.

The youngest are very close.

I find it very weird that I wouldn't be living the rest of my life and she's just there.

But I'd be happy for her if that's what she wants to do.

I'll be happy knowing she went to such lengths to go and get a job and it worked out well.

It will be really strange me growing up and having children, her having a family maybe.

They won't know each other. They're cousins but they live on the other side of the world.

It will be strange.

For the future, I would really like her to be able to get work

in Ireland or England or somewhere so that she'd be...

-Nearer home.

-..near home.

Maybe we won't ever see Claire again, you know.

That's what's really...

It's just sort of dawned on me that I'm going away.

It's starting to feel real. Everybody saying goodbye.

The final pack and stuff. I'm realising this is it, I'm going now.

When you live in a small town, you know everybody and everyone knows you.

It's that sense of community.

Um, but maybe going somewhere... Sorry.

CRIES

It's OK.

This is very strange for me

because I've never lived away from home.

I moved out of my mum's house to come straight to my own house.

I don't know what it's like to be somewhere, you know,

without family.

I've left my work.

So definitely no looking back now. Have to go forward now.

"Bon voyage, Sheila. We'll miss you."

It's just... I sometimes find it hard to read them.

"We will really miss you but think you're making the right move."

"Many thanks for all the help you have been since I started here in Lurgan."

"My friend, my confidante for over 20 years."

"Been through so much together,

who will I confide in now? We'll miss you, love Marie."

I can't really read this card.

CRIES

The Rafferty family leave for Melbourne, Australia, in the morning.

The car has been sold and their tenants are ready to move in.

Brendan is finding leaving the family home

more difficult than he'd imagined.

Washing machine, tumble dryer, microwave oven.

The family that are renting the house have to come and sign the tenancy agreement.

I have to do an inventory, which I'm going to write out.

I never anticipated that this house has a personality.

I look at the house as a part of the family.

To see it empty now, it was...

Anybody thinking of doing this, don't think you can walk away from a house and it will be easy.

Because your house really is a big part of your life.

It's 1am in Belfast and Dane is taking the bus to Dublin airport.

It's unreal at the minute for me.

It just seems a bit surreal in the sense that, you know, it's so close to Dane going now.

But, at the same time, it seems more like a dream than a reality to me.

I'm afraid I haven't been doing very well, unfortunately.

CRIES

I think what it is, is that I'm more worried for you two.

I think, somewhere in the back of my mind,

I was hoping he'd change his mind and not go.

But I know he's going to be fine. It's the best thing for him.

And it will be an adventure and he's always got us to come home to.

-This last couple of days, he has been a bit emotional.

-Yeah.

But he's good at hiding it. He's very good at hiding it.

We told Kelsey that she needn't think she was ever going to go anywhere.

I just couldn't lose both of them.

I don't know what the future holds for me, really.

I'd like to come back. I've always seen myself having a life here.

But it really all depends on what the state of the economy is.

Whether there's something worth coming back to.

Whether I'll be able to get a job.

I could end up staying in Malaysia.

But I'd like to come back to Ireland. I mean, it's a beautiful country.

-You all right?

-I'm kind of nervous.

It's also an early start for the families in Toome

as Frank and Claire get ready to leave from the airport.

'I know I will have bad days when I'm there but I think the good will outweigh the bad.'

'I'm feeling good-ish.'

See you later.

And you too.

'Especially in the past week or so, I've been starting to feel my nerves a lot.'

See you in a month.

LAUGHTER

'If things go wrong, there's always the shop.'

'But I want to give it a try before I decide what to do with the rest of my life.'

Thank you.

I just think, at their age, it's a great opportunity.

I hope they do well and get work.

But I hope they don't get a permanent job all the same.

-See you later.

-Bye.

See you later.

CAR HORN SOUNDS

I'm just trying not to cry. I know if I start I won't stop for hours.

It still hasn't sunk in yet.

Probably two hours during the flight, we're like, "Oh, no! What are we doing?"

The Raffertys are spending their last night in an airport hotel.

Look after yourself.

This is where they'll say their goodbyes to those dearest to them.

Goodbye, Sheila. Go on. And good luck, Sheila.

-I hope you have a nice time.

-We will.

-And drop us a wee postcard when you get settled.

I only have the one sister and she was devastated by it.

And I reassured her. Don't think of it as being forever just think of it as being for now.

-I love you.

-I love you too.

-You know I love you. Don't worry.

-I know. I love you too.

All right.

When I watched my mum leaving the car park,

I thought to myself, "This is possibly the last time I'll ever see my mum," because she's in her 70s

and we don't know what's going to happen over here.

OK.

It says boarding time 07:55 at gate number 410.

I'm just so glad now that we're getting on the flight now,

so the rest is just up to fate.

As the recession drags on, there seems little chance of a let up in the number of people emigrating.

More disillusioned youth heading overseas.

More tearful goodbyes and more families separated by oceans.

All searching for a better future on distant shores.

I'm back now after a month.

We always said from the start, if any one of us didn't like it, we would come home.

As it turned out there was two of us, my son and me.

Sheila would still be there.

I'm still in the doghouse with my wife regarding that end of it.

The isolation in Australia for us was immense.

I didn't anticipate it and I should have.

It is the hardest thing you'll ever do.

Nobody should take that decision lightly. Think what you have here before you go.

Sometimes... I've realised there's a lot of things I've taken for granted.

And it's only when you're away that you realise that.

You have to be 100% absolutely positive that you want to do this like nothing else.

And I wasn't.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd