Episode 1 Going Back Giving Back

One of the things I love about us Brits is our spirit of generosity.

If I can give back to somebody who had a similar struggle to my own,

then that's what I'd like to do.

Last year, nearly 3/4 of us gave to charity.

But what if you had the chance to go back

and relive moments from your past?

I wish I was 18 again.

I'm expecting Mum and Dad to walk out now and say, "Hello."

-You know?

-Yeah.

Moments which would inspire you to want to help someone today.

I want to give back to those people that are going through that

that I went through in the beginning.

If I can give something to somebody else that will change their lives,

-I'd really love to.

-Fantastic.

Someone who had no idea this life-changing windfall was coming.

I have got, potentially, her dream in my hand.

-How are you feeling?

-Nervous.

'There'll be surprises.'

-How are you?

-Doing good?

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

'With acts of generosity that will change people's lives...'

-I'm really excited.

-We're all crying!

-Do you need a hug as well?

-Yeah, thanks.

'..forever.'

Wahey! That was brilliant.

Somebody that just does that for people,

it's just amazing, it really is.

This is Going Back, Giving Back.

Today we're going back to the 1940s and Nottinghamshire.

This is a story of determination and hardship,

a time when the courage of thousands saved an entire nation.

'We discover the sacrifices made by a generation of women

'during World War II.

'How will one lady react when we take her back

'to where it all began?'

Just think, without you and the other girls,

we wouldn't have survived.

Well, you would've survived, I think,

but it would've been very, very difficult

because the Land Army girls did everything.

Will this inspire a mother and daughter

to want to give something back today?

When I think of everything that you did and everyone else did

for the war, made so many sacrifices,

I think it would be nice for us to give back in our own way.

Can they make life easier for a special family

who are going through a very rough time?

You can look at him and you can see his body, his face, everything,

but, in his eyes, you can see that

he's gone somewhere completely different.

And the tension builds as we prepare for a massive surprise...

They, of course, have no idea that we're coming. How do you feel?

-I feel good.

-Do you? I'm really nervous!

..with a gift that will transform their lives.

It's really our pleasure.

I'm in the glorious countryside near Nottingham

to meet a mother and daughter who want to give something back.

In the 1940s, one of them called this place home.

It was three years into World War II, and most of the farm workers

from this area had been called up to fight.

With so few men around, there was no-one left to carry on

the fundamental job of growing crops to feed Britain,

so the government called on the nation's young girls

to become farmers.

By 1943, an astonishing 80,000 Land Girls

were working out in the fields.

I'm on my way to meet one of them now.

I can't wait to hear her remarkable story.

-Hello, hello, lovely to see you both.

-Thank you.

Nice day for it, as well!

'Jean spent most of her adult life living in America

'where her daughter, Brenda, was born.

'But it was during World War II, as a teenager,

'that she was based not far from here in Nottinghamshire.'

So, let's get to the nitty-gritty -

what's driving you to want to give something back today?

Well, Mum is about to celebrate her 90th birthday,

and she felt that it would be a wonderful idea

to be able to give back to somebody else

so that we have something to remember

for this particularly special year.

It's Jean's time as a Land Girl that's made her

want to give something back today

in commemoration of her wartime service.

Do you think it is fair to say that you being a Land Girl,

when you were 17, shaped the rest of your life?

Oh, I think it had something to do with it, yes, definitely.

-In what way?

-Well, it made me more independent, I grew up faster.

It was while Jean was working as a Land Girl

that she met her future husband, an American soldier, in a local pub.

He said to my mother, "Who's the blonde in the corner?"

And she poked him on the shoulder like that,

and she said, "You stay away from her."

-He didn't listen, though, did he?

-No.

Jean's husband was a paratrooper with

the American 82nd Airborne Division.

He parachuted into Normandy on D-Day

and helped liberate a Nazi concentration camp.

The role he played in the war and the things he saw

had a profound effect on him.

-Would you say war changed your dad?

-Yes, very much.

Like many men who saw a tremendous amount of action,

he came home with what we would now understand

-is post-traumatic stress disorder.

-Right.

But we didn't understand those things in those days,

whereas today, we do a great deal more.

Like many, Brenda's father suffered in silence for decades

because of the shame and stigma that surrounded the disorder then.

His condition had a massive impact on Jean and Brenda's family life.

It's their experience of living with this condition

that's driving them to want to give something back today.

You've decided that you want to help someone in a similar situation,

the situation that you found yourself in.

Yes, I'd like to think that we can do better for them today

than we were able to do for our men returning from World War II.

To focus the mind on what you want to give back, I think, first of all,

we need to go back.

-Are you up for this?

-Absolutely.

-OK.

-Great.

Come on, then. Let's go.

We're going to take the ladies on a trip down memory lane.

I'm hoping it will remind Jean of her past

and help them both make a big decision

about how they might be able to help someone today.

So, have you got any idea where we're going off to now?

No, not a clue!

-Well I'm going to take you back, aren't I?

-OK.

So...there's a big clue there.

JEAN LAUGHS

We're heading to the village of Kinoulton,

a spot that Jean knew well as a teenager.

In World War II, she worked the fields around here

as part of the Women's Land Army.

With enemy submarines stopping food supplies

getting through to Britain,

Jean and thousands of young women like her

were fighting a battle to feed the nation.

And how many hours would you reckon you'd be working?

Well, we'd leave the hostel at 7.30 in the morning.

We biked everywhere.

Our day was over at five, but then you had to bike home.

Yes, it was very tiring work.

What was the toughest bit about being a Land Girl?

-The work. The threshing machines.

-Oh, really?

-Oh, those threshing machines were awful.

-How come?

Very dirty, extremely dirty, besides being hard work.

And how were some of the farmers on the farms that you worked with?

Were they tough?

-Some of them are all right and some of them weren't.

-Right.

Some of them treated us very nice, and their wives invited us

into their kitchen so we could have our lunch there.

Most of them...we had to go into the barn

and sit on a bale of hay and eat our sandwich there.

We weren't invited into the house.

A Land Girl's life could be tough,

but their work was vital to the war effort.

By 1943, the Women's Land Army was producing

around 70% of the nation's food.

In return, Land Girls, like Jean,

were rewarded with a weekly wage of 30 shillings.

After labouring all day in the fields,

they relished any opportunity for rest and recreation.

Was there a good spirit of camaraderie?

Oh, yes, we had a lot of fun.

There was an RAF station not too far away,

and I volunteered,

and I got on my bike and I biked to this RAF station

-and I invited the boys to come and have a dance with us.

-Oh, OK.

And they did.

They came, and we had an evening of dance,

and I was also in charge of the Record Club.

I used to take a shilling from each one of the girls,

go into town and buy a record with it.

How fantastic.

I enjoyed the Land Army. I was young. I had no ties.

War has had a big impact on Jean's family,

and that's driving them to want to help someone today.

We've arrived at our destination, but what will Jean make of it?

So, we're in the village of Kinoulton.

-Oh, no!

-Yeah.

-This is Kinoulton?

-Yeah.

The last time Jean was here, she was a teenage Land Girl.

Could revisiting her past inspire her and Brenda

to make a big difference to someone's life today?

-Do you know why I've brought you here?

-No.

This was one of the fields that you will have worked on

when you were a Land Girl.

-How many years ago?

-70.

-73.

Amazing to think that your mum will have been out there

-working as a 17-year-old.

-Yeah!

-Absolutely.

How do you feel being back here?

I have nice memories of the Land Army, I do.

This is lovely. This is absolutely lovely.

So what sort of jobs would you have had out here?

What would you have done?

Depending on what was in the field...potato picking.

It was dirty work.

You looked after the cows as well, though, didn't you?

A little bit, yes.

And you had to work in the bitter cold.

The winters were...rough.

They were, they were rough.

But it made you the person you are today.

-Oh, really(?)

-I think so.

Many farmers were sceptical at first

that young women would be capable of the job,

but they were soon proved wrong.

Land Girls did everything on the farm,

from driving tractors to catching rats and building haystacks.

Just think, without you and the other girls,

we wouldn't have survived.

Well, you would have survived, I think,

but it would have been very, very difficult

because the Land Army girls did everything.

You fed a nation.

Yeah, well, we didn't think about it, what we were doing, Brenda,

we just did it, like everybody else.

Many Land Girls lived on the farms where they worked,

which could be a lonely experience for a teenager

away from home for the first time.

Jean, however, was lucky enough to stay in a house

with a group of fellow Land Girls.

Well, listen, I might have another little surprise for you.

-How did you used to get here? On your bike?

-Yeah.

-From where?

-From the hostel where we lived.

-You haven't been back there since?

-No.

I can take you back there now.

-How do you feel about that?

-Let's go!

-OK!

We're taking Jean back to the house where she stayed as a Land Girl.

She may have known it as a hostel,

but this 19th-century manor house

is a cut above your average boarding-house.

Jean hasn't set foot inside it for over 70 years.

-This is where you were.

-That's where I was.

-And you haven't been back here all those years.

-All those years.

-What a lovely house, though, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Mum, do you remember which floor you were on?

Yes, the top floor. Ones with the small windows.

Oh, the penthouse?

-And how many girls were you with?

-Usually about three to a bedroom.

-Do you want to have a quick look inside?

-Oh, I'd love to.

Come on, then.

Jean shared the manor house with a crew of 30 Land Girls.

Many lifelong friendships were forged here.

For Jean, could returning here reignite

long forgotten memories of old friends?

-It's a bit different, now, I think.

-Oh. Very.

This looks more familiar. Yeah.

-And who did you share with?

-A lovely girl. Frieda.

-She was your mate, was she?

-Yeah. Oh, yeah, she was lovely.

Is this where you all ate, Mum? Did you all eat together?

We couldn't all eat together.

It depended on who we were working for

-and what time we got back to the hostel.

-Right.

The Land Girls worked a gruelling minimum 50-hour week,

but at harvest and haymaking time,

their working day could be as long as 16 hours - from dawn to dusk.

For a city girl like Jean, this was a total culture shock.

And she wasn't alone -

over a third of Land Girls where young women

from Britain's towns and cities.

-So, are the memories flooding back?

-Oh, yes.

-That's the kitchen.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, this is familiar.

-Oh, is it?

-Yeah.

-Oh, isn't it beautiful?

-Yeah.

There's a little pantry there, as well.

-How are you feeling?

-Good. Very good.

I just wish my friend was with me. I wish Frieda was with me.

I wish I was 18 again.

When I walked up here, I could just imagine you on your bike,

cycling up with that new record under your arm

that you'd just been to the shops to buy.

I bet they couldn't wait for you to get back

so you could put that record.

Oh, we used to get up and dance to the new tunes, you know?

And what about for you, knowing where Mum was?

I think it's such a great privilege to be able to come back

and see a part of my mother's life so far before I was born.

It's really very, very strange.

-Like being put in a time machine, isn't it?

-It is, yeah.

I'm especially proud of Mum because she was a townie,

and she came and she did a Land Army girl's job.

JEAN LAUGHS

-It's amazing, really.

-It is amazing.

And I don't think that I could've done it.

I think one of the hardest things

was getting up so early in the mornings -

especially in the winter.

You didn't mind in the summer.

Has being here reinforced in you

that feeling that you want to give something back?

-Mm.

-Yes, very much so.

I have a great sense of, I suppose, gratitude

for what my mother's generation went through.

-Absolutely.

-The sacrifices that they made.

Those girls had to do a man's job,

and I think it's too easy not to remember that.

So I think it would be wonderful to be able to

mark such a wonderful contribution

by giving something back to someone else who needs it.

It's a lovely, lovely sentiment.

Going back to the house and fields

where Jean lived and worked as a Land Girl

has clearly had an impact on Brenda.

Coming up, our team have been working hard,

and we think we've found an inspiring young family

whose life has also been affected by war

and whose story could strike a chord with Jean and Brenda.

They think we're making a programme about modern-day war veterans.

They have no idea of the real reason behind Brenda and Jean's visit.

-Hello.

-Hello.

Or that they could be in for a life-changing gift.

The big question is, will they get on?

But first, Jean and Brenda have one more place to visit.

For years, their family life was dominated by the effects of war,

in particular Jean's husband's struggles

with post-traumatic stress disorder.

So we've brought them to the National Memorial Arboretum

in Staffordshire.

This beautiful 150-acre site is a place of quiet remembrance.

It's dedicated to the personal sacrifices

made by members of Britain's military and civil services.

What a peaceful place.

It reminds me of where Dad is buried.

Jean and Brenda have come to see a new memorial

that should mean a great deal to them.

I think this is you.

Mum, this is the Women's Land Army memorial.

-Oh, you're kidding.

-No, look.

In 2014, a memorial was erected here

to honour the thousands of women who served as Land Girls.

It was created thanks to the dedication and hard work of

the Staffordshire Women's Food And Farming Union.

They organised a three-year fundraising campaign

which attracted over 1,000 public donations.

We have arranged for Jean and Brenda to meet Eunice Finney

who was one of those behind the campaign.

Don't tell me you're a Land Army girl.

-Lovely to see you in Staffordshire.

-Lovely to meet you.

-You've come all this way to see our memorial.

-We have.

-This is the uniform you used to wear, isn't it?

-Yes.

-Come on, let's have a look, then.

-The trilby hat, yes.

I think the uniform is brilliant. I think they looked beautiful in it.

-Green is a good colour for me.

-Yeah, yeah.

I think the uniform was actually created

to help them feel part of an army,

-and you were part of an army.

-Yeah.

Because you did the work which needed to be done.

You were the ones that manned the fields,

did the work in the war years and fed the nation,

and without you, we would've been in a very difficult situation.

That's right.

What wonderful words. I've never heard those before.

For years, the hard work of Britain's Land Girls

was too often overlooked.

It wasn't until 2008 that their endeavours were finally recognised,

and since then, 30,000 former Land Girls, including Jean,

have been awarded a badge of honour

commemorating their service to their country.

-I finally got my badge.

-Did you get your badge? Oh, right.

Only a few days ago.

-So many of them, like Mum, were townies.

-Exactly.

They were girls from the cities.

They'd never ever seen a potato field or a threshing machine.

But it was their way of giving something back to the war efforts.

-I don't regret a day. Really.

-OK.

Because I was very young, and when you are young,

you can take on a lot.

-It's a very fitting memorial.

-Thank you.

-This is a beautiful memorial.

-Yeah.

-I like it very much.

With the creation of this lasting tribute

to the members of the Women's Land Army,

their historical lack of recognition has been put right.

But as well as the memorial, Eunice has something to show Jean

that should spark a few memories.

Some recruitment posters for the Women's Land Army.

-I recognise... That's just the way we looked.

-Yes.

And this, you'll recognise as well.

That was also a poster with the threshing machine.

-With the Spitfire planes going over.

-Going over the top.

-Yes.

They left me, one day, on my own in a field...

I was scything,

and a Spitfire came over,

and they waved to me and I was waving back.

And it was very nice, I enjoyed it.

Did he tip his wings? Did he go around?

Oh, yes, he did, he tipped his wings.

Eunice also has a document that Jean hasn't laid eyes on

for over 70 years.

Jean, this is the pledge that you signed

when you joined the Land Army.

It says, "You are now a member of the Women's land Army.

"You are pledged to hold yourself available

"for service on the land for the period of the war.

"You have made the home fields your battlefield.

"Your country relies on your loyalty and welcomes your help."

-CRYING:

-Well, isn't that amazing?

You made that pledge all those years ago.

"I realise the national importance of the work which I have undertaken

"and I will serve well and faithfully."

And you had to sign that.

That's why we built this statue - to recognise what you all did.

It's a beautiful statue, it really is.

-I'm very proud of my mother, and...

-Oh...

-I am, Mum! I am.

When I think of everything that you did and everyone else did

for the war, made so many sacrifices and contributed so much,

and I think it would be nice for us to give back in our own way.

-To someone else.

-Yes.

And in a way it's like a form of closure, isn't it?

We've come full circle.

Jean and Brenda have been deeply moved by all they have seen

and heard here today.

The public recognition of Jean's wartime service

has inspired them both to want to help someone else.

This journey into the past has sparked some powerful memories.

I just wish my friend was with me. I wish I was 18 again!

Along the way, Jean and Brenda have been brave enough to share

their experience of living with the psychological effects of war.

Like many men, he came home with what we would now understand

as post-traumatic stress disorder.

But it has also helped focus their minds on what they want to do.

I think it would be wonderful to be able to mark such a wonderful

contribution by giving something back to someone else who needs it.

What an experience this has been for Jean and her daughter Brenda.

It's obvious Brenda is so proud of Mum's resilience during those

wartime years. When the war was over, well,

that resilience was vital because the family faced another battle,

with Jean's husband's post-traumatic stress disorder.

It is the family's experience of war that is driving them to want

to help somebody else today.

Of course, there are many people who could benefit from their

generosity but we think we have found somebody whose story

will surely resonate with them.

In Poole, near Bournemouth, live Carl and Jenny

and their three girls -

Scarlet, six, Poppy, two,

and Holly, who is just ten weeks old.

Carl is a war veteran who served with the British Army in

Bosnia and Kosovo in the 1990s.

He left the Army and 2001 but has only recently been diagnosed

with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Just like Jean and Brenda,

the whole family has had to struggle with the effects of PTSD.

Given these parallels, we have arranged for them to meet.

Jenny thinks that Jean and Brenda are making

a programme about war veterans and has

no idea the family may be in for a life-changing gift.

But because unexpected events can cause anxiety for

post-traumatic stress sufferers,

we've taken the unusual step of letting Carl

in on Jean and Brenda's secret mission to give something back.

He's promised not to breathe a word to Jenny and the girls.

We think they have a story which resonates very much with us and

we're hoping very much that we can help them and give something back.

We've asked Carl to find an excuse to be out of the house when we

arrive, to give Jean and Brenda a chance to talk to Jenny about

her experience of living with PTSD.

-Hello!

-Hello!

-I'm Brenda and this is my mum, Jean.

-Hi, Jean.

-Pleased to meet you.

This is Scarlet and this is Poppy.

What lovely names, Scarlet and Poppy.

This is a hugely important meeting for Jean and Brenda.

They want to hear how PTSD has affected Jenny and her family,

just as it did with their own family.

It's really quite special and delightful for us to be here.

Your story and Carl's story really touched us.

We've been through similar things and wanted to know, really,

how has it been for you?

Carl was diagnosed in March last year

with post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD.

That was sort of a godsend, really,

because that gave us the answers to behaviours and mannerisms

and things that we just didn't know what was going on.

He was in the Army for six years, so in some quite horrendous places.

-It was very trying for him.

-Yes, well, we can relate to that.

My dad came home from World War II with...

probably post-traumatic stress disorder but, of course,

they didn't have a name for it in those days.

Today we have a far better understanding of how the

trauma of war can affect soldiers like Carl.

They can find themselves reliving the events they experienced

over and over in their minds.

Even when safe, they can feel threatened,

leaving them irritable, angry and unable to relax or sleep.

What sort of behaviours does Carl have that make it difficult

within the family unit?

It started off,

obviously he would have nightmares and things but as our

relationship progressed and I was pregnant,

they started becoming more and more vivid.

He does get very sort of aggressive, very angry.

We don't have any physical abuse or anything like that.

You can look at him and you can see his body, his face,

everything but in his eyes you can see

he has gone somewhere completely different.

It's not all the time, it sort of comes and goes.

I call them episodes.

Yes. I think that's a good way to describe them, really.

-It is like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

-Exactly.

My dad, he manifested his PTSD primarily through anger.

When his temper went, he couldn't control it.

There were times when living with this problem was terrifying,

-from a child's point of view.

-He was not the man I married.

It's like having two people, isn't it? Two different people.

It certainly is.

Carl's post-traumatic stress disorder is rooted in his

military service in Bosnia and Kosovo.

Those conflicts, which were notorious for their war crimes,

had a terrible impact on him.

Carl's PTSD went undiagnosed for almost ten years but, thankfully,

he is now receiving treatment.

When I first left, I was struggling quite badly.

Nobody understood why I behaved like that.

The emotional and practical support of his family have been

absolutely crucial to him while he comes to terms with his condition.

The last couple of months have been particularly tough and Carl

has spent most of that time at his parents' house, 20 minutes away.

When he feels very stressed and can't cope with things in life,

he just turns up at the door with a bag in his hand.

It helps keep family life stable for the kids and for my wife.

It can be quite negative, my feelings and emotions.

So...it just keeps them stable.

Carl's time away from home helps minimise the impact of

his condition on his family but it is still painful for all involved.

It's still upsetting for everyone, isn't it,

that I have to come and go like I do?

But I think the children understand it, they cope very well, don't they?

Yeah. Scarlet is very good, she's very understanding.

Which is very good for a six-year-old.

Poppy still refuses to kiss me goodbye,

thinking that I won't leave if she doesn't kiss me.

But you're dealing with it very well.

As long as you remember to come home when you're feeling like you

-can't cope.

-Yeah.

-It just makes it easier for Jenny and the children.

-Mm-hm.

The girls know the current situation is only temporary and can't

wait to have their daddy back full-time.

My daddy is awesome.

I like Daddy because he takes us shopping.

It's hard with him not being here, not being around with the

kids because they miss him, obviously, terribly.

We do understand, very much. We know how difficult it is.

It is very difficult to be normal, relaxed and a happy family when

-you're worried all the time as to what might trigger something.

-Yes.

There are good things to look forward to as well. I'm sure.

We're finally starting to get somewhere now with

treatments and help. It has been a very rocky road.

He is going to have PTSD for the rest of his life,

it's not going to go away.

However, it can be managed, it can be controlled.

Yes.

He can be happy and we can be happy. We can have our life back.

I am sure that you will, I'm sure that you will make it.

-You'll be all right.

-Absolutely.

-You'll be all right.

We've let Carl know that the coast is clear

for him to make an appearance.

Meeting new people can be an anxious experience for him.

But he is willing to confront that anxiety in order to talk

publicly about his post-traumatic stress disorder.

We have just been chatting with Jenny and hearing all about your

story which certainly resonates with Mum and her experiences with my dad.

And the troubles that he came home with from World War II.

Of course, in those days, they didn't understand what PTSD was.

And thank God now we can not only put a name to it but we can begin

a lot more to understand what it is, and how it manifests itself.

A little bit of understanding goes a long way.

I think it takes a lot of bravery and courage to ask for help

and to seek help and to admit that there is...

That was the hardest bit...

..is admitting you do need help and asking for it.

And have you noticed that there any particular things which

trigger your bad episodes?

I know to avoid places, people,

any sudden loud noises.

-I've become a bit of a recluse!

-Yeah!

-Do you find it difficult going out and socialising?

-I don't go out.

-You don't go out?

-I don't go out.

Now they have heard Carl and Jenny's story first-hand, Brenda and

Jean are keen to explore how they might be able to help this family.

Have you and the family been able to get away and have

just time alone or have a holiday? Have you found that beneficial?

-We've never been away, have we?

-You've never been away as a family?

No.

The anxiety comes into it

-and I get myself in a bit of a state, don't I?

-Yeah.

-So we don't go away.

-It takes time.

-It does indeed.

Because of Carl's PTSD, he and Jenny weren't able to have

a honeymoon when they got married earlier this year.

But things are getting better and despite his anxiety, Carl is now

keen to do whatever he can to thank Jenny for her years of support.

You will get there. In fact, I know you will.

But we have really enjoyed meeting both of you.

It's been a pleasure meeting both of you.

And meeting the children, and we'd like to say thank you ever so much.

For having us in your lovely home. And allowing us to hear your story.

Has Carl and Jenny's story struck a chord with Jean and Brenda?

You are a hero. A hero and don't forget it.

And will it galvanise them in their wish to give something back?

Jenny's determination and her commitment to her husband and

her family is exactly what Carl needs.

Carl is a man of great courage.

They are an absolutely delightful family, and Mum and I would

like very much to try and help them in some way.

It's clear that Jean and Brenda have been deeply affected by

meeting Carl and Jenny and hearing their story.

But before they make up their minds whether they can help them,

they are going to discuss this important decision with

another member of their family, Brenda's daughter Jamie.

What have you been up to?

We have been having a very interesting time of it,

very exciting time.

Grandmother has been on a journey.

I've been amazed at all the little details that Grandmother

has remembered, things that I have never heard before have come

back to her while we have been on this journey.

How is it for you, this whole thing, Grandmother? Was it emotional?

At times, yes.

We want to help this young couple, Carl and Jenny, whom we met.

Lovely people and three young children.

How come you particularly want to help this family?

Jenny is going through many of the difficulties that Grandmother

went through when Grandpa came home from the war.

I guess she had three children as well.

Grandmother had three young children.

Because Grandpa changed a lot, didn't he,

when he came home from the war?

When Grandpa came home, he started drinking.

-And...

-And he was very unhappy for a while, wasn't he?

Once he started that, then other problems followed.

Yeah, I think returning to civilian life is extremely difficult

for many of them.

When these men going to foreign countries, like Afghanistan...

And Bosnia.

..and they expect these men to come back and pick up their lives as if

nothing has happened.

Yeah, we really connected with them and we wanted to do something

for them.

We wanted to contribute something that would in some way help

them as a family.

We wanted to know how you would feel because it involves us as

a family connecting with another family.

I think it's a wonderful idea. I am so proud that you have done this.

I am really pleased to see that you feel the same way we do.

It was important to Grandmother and I that we had you on board.

-I think it's great that you've been on this journey as well.

-Yes.

It was very rewarding to me, it really was.

Well, we don't know yet how we are going to help Jenny and Carl

but I think if we all put our heads together then we'll come up

with something.

Having Jamie's support means a great deal to Jean and Brenda.

Meeting Carl and Jenny has clearly revived memories of their own

family's struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Jean and Brenda have gone back. Now it's time for them to go forward.

It's up to them to decide what they can do to make a positive

impact on the lives of Carl, Jenny and the girls.

It's been a few weeks since I met up with Brenda and her wonderful

mum Jean. What a character she is, eh?

I know that in that time they have met up with Carl and his wife

Jenny, who are obviously going through a tough time.

But I wonder if it has reminded Brenda and Jean of their own

father's struggle when he came back from war.

Maybe it has focused their mind.

Maybe they want to give something back and help this young family.

There's only one way to find out, let's go and meet them.

Jean and Brenda are waiting for me just around the corner from

where Carl, Jenny and the girls are enjoying a picnic.

It's time to find out exactly what they've decided.

-Hello, you two. How are you?

-Hello, Aled. We're fine.

-Nice to see you.

You have had a busy old time because you met up with Carl and Jenny.

-Carl and Jenny.

-How did it go?

My heart just went out to them, really.

I felt very emotional about it all because

so much of what they are going through, obviously,

relates very much to what Mum experienced and what I experienced.

We do understand what they are going through, we've been there.

We feel very much that we would like to help them.

-They have made a huge impact on both of you.

-Yes.

-They certainly have.

Do you think it has focused your mind to want to give

-something back and help this young family?

-Yes.

-Very much.

You can have a think about it if you like. She's like, "Yes!"

-Mum and I have already talked about it.

-Definitely.

Have you decided how you're going to help them?

Yes, we would very much like to give them a family holiday.

-They've never had one and we think it's time.

-What sort of holiday?

Well, we'd like to, with the help of the British Legion, send them

away for a week's holiday in a beautiful lodge in Wiltshire.

They can relax in comfort, stress-free,

beautiful surroundings and just really enjoy themselves.

-Just what they need.

-Exactly.

-Gosh, that sounds amazing.

-That's very generous of you. Have you got a letter for them?

-I do.

-Explaining it all?

-I do.

-There's no time like the present, I suppose.

-Shall we go and surprise them?

-We'd be delighted.

I can't wait to see the look on their faces. Come on, let's go.

Joining Carl, Jenny and the girls are family and friends,

including Carl's mum and dad.

This is Jean and Brenda's big moment,

owning up to Jenny what they've really been up to.

Neither she nor the girls have any idea what's about to happen.

Carl, however, is in on the secret. Although his PTSD causes

anxiety when visiting new places, he feels ready to take the

plunge and he'd love to go on their first family holiday.

Brenda and Jean's gift could have a big impact on their lives.

Just how will they all react?

Carl and Jenny are having a little picnic just behind this bush.

They, of course, have no idea that we are coming. How do you feel?

-I feel good.

-I'm really nervous!

-Oh, no, I feel good.

They're just such a lovely family.

Wonder what the kids are going to say.

-Hi, Jenny.

-Hello.

-I'm Aled from the BBC. Nice to meet you.

-Very nice to meet you.

-Hi, Carl, you all right?

You thought we were doing a programme about modern war veterans.

-It's not the whole story.

-We so enjoyed meeting you.

And hearing your story meant so much to us.

We really want to do something for you. I've written it all down.

Will you read it out?

"Dear Jenny and Carl,

"it was a pleasure to meet both of you and your lovely family.

"Mum and I enjoyed getting to know you and hearing your story,

"many aspects of which resonate with our own lives.

"Post-traumatic stress disorder has played such a big part in the

"lives of so many soldiers returning from battle.

"Having time alone as a family without the daily pressures

"of your normal environment and challenges will help you to

"keep things in perspective.

"Mum and I would like to offer you a holiday, with the help of the

"British Legion, a five-day break to a family park complete with

"playgrounds and swimming pools for the children.

"You will stay in a three-bedroom apartment with your own

"private sauna and jet bath.

"It would make us very happy to know that you will be able to

"relax and enjoy the pleasures of family life having worked

"so hard to make a family...

"..despite everything that you have both been through.

"Mum and I hope you will have a wonderful break that will

"leave you with many happy memories.

"Hopefully in time replacing the less happy ones, memories that in

"years to come will carry you through

"as you make this life journey together."

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

-It is our privilege and honour.

Are you all right? You'll set me off!

-Do you need a hug?

-Yeah, thanks.

Oh, bless you. You're going to have a great time.

-Thank you, thank you so much.

-It is our pleasure. Truly our pleasure.

Thank you.

-And we are very proud to do it.

-I think it went very, very well.

Everything was flashing through my mind and I just realised,

you know, what that man went through in the war.

It was just lovely to see them together again.

You served your country beautifully.

We are proud of you.

It's a really big thing for Jenny because they have never been

away together and I don't think Jenny ever thought they would

be able to go away together.

I want to go in a giant swimming pool.

I think it will be good for the children as well,

they'll have their first-ever holiday.

-They are going to be made up.

-Yeah, they are.

It's not something I ever thought we'd be doing.

-I love you.

-I love you.

Well, a lovely family picnic was just made even better, wasn't it?

Carl and Jenny have had a rough time and they've been through such a lot

and Brenda and Jean, well, they could sympathise,

they've been there too.

So the couple who didn't even have a honeymoon are now off on their

first family holiday together.

I hope they have a fabulous time.