Episode 3 Going Back Giving Back

One of the things I love about us Brits is our spirit of generosity.

If I can give back to somebody who had a similar struggle

to my own, then that's what I'd like to do.

Last year, nearly three-quarters of us gave to charity.

But what if you had the chance to go back

-and relive moments from your past?

-I wish I was 18 again.

-I'm expecting Mum and Dad to walk out now and say hello.

-Yeah.

Moments which would inspire you to want to help someone today...

I want to give back to those people that are going through that,

that I went through in the beginning.

If I can give something to somebody else

-that will change their lives, I'd really love to.

-Fantastic.

'..someone who had no idea this life-changing windfall was coming.'

I have got, potentially, her dream in my hand.

-How are you feeling?

-Nervous.

'There'll be surprises.'

-How are you?

-Very good.

Thank you so much.

-Thank you.

-Ah.

'With acts of generosity that will change people's lives...'

-I'm really excited now.

-We're ALL crying.

-Do you need an arm as well?

-Yeah, thanks.

'..forever.' Way! Brilliant.

Somebody that just does that for people -

it's just amazing, it really is.

This is Going Back, Giving Back.

Today, we're going back to London in the 1990s.

It's a story of survival and great hope.

It's about one determined woman

taking inspiration from a life-changing event.

We'll meet the crash survivor who became synonymous

with one of the worst British rail disasters of modern times.

-So this is actually where the crash happened.

-Yeah.

This is...where the two trains met.

'We reunite her with a man who shared her pain, who gave her hope.'

-Hello, darling.

-All right, sweetie, are you OK?

-Yes, I'm fine.

And can she change the life of one inspiring young woman

who's confronting her own challenges?

I have got, potentially, her dream in my hand.

-Thank you so much.

-It's a pleasure, honestly. It's a real pleasure.

For many people involved in a horrific accident,

it's a day they'd rather forget.

But for the inspirational woman I'm about to meet,

a serious tragedy provided her with a springboard

to rediscover her life and motivated her to want to help others.

I can't wait to meet her.

'49-year-old Pam is a successful public speaker and author.'

Today, she travels the world,

'giving motivational speeches to big businesses.

But in 1999 she was involved in a devastating accident,

'and it's her road to recovery

'that's driving her to give something back today.

'I'm meeting her in a park in Reading.'

-Hiya, Pam.

-Hello, Aled. Nice to meet you.

Really lovely to see you as well. How are you?

-I'm good, thank you.

-Excellent.

-Lovely day.

-Isn't it just?

So go on, what's motivating you

to want to give something back to someone today?

Well, 16 years ago,

I was involved in one of the UK's largest train crashes.

I was on a train coming out of Reading,

travelling towards Paddington at rush hour,

and we met another train coming out of Paddington at over 130mph.

The resulting accident had catastrophic consequences.

31 people died, 227 of us were badly injured.

The fuel erupted from the engine

and came through the carriage that I was on

and I was so badly burnt and injured

that I should have been the 32nd victim.

Pam was rushed to hospital,

where her chances of survival looked slim,

but against all the odds she pulled through.

However, her injuries, in particular the burns to her face,

changed her life forever.

The physical injuries heal eventually,

but the psychological side really caught me out by surprise.

I wouldn't allow myself to acknowledge the trauma

from what had happened and it really took about ten years

before I started feeling I was a normal human being again.

You obviously had support to help you

get through what happened to you.

Quite recently I sat down and I totted up all the clinicians,

technicians, nurses, doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists -

everybody that's helped me, including my family and friends -

and it ran into 127.

-Goodness me!

-127 people!

And I thought, "I can never thank all those people."

'It's this support that she received

'which is driving Pam to want to help someone today.'

So, helping others, I think, is the way to, in a way,

show these other people that you're doing something worthwhile

with that life that they've helped to save.

You're such an incredible person, you honestly are.

The smile on your face, the energy coming from you,

and the positivity coming from you is incredible.

I always remind myself how lucky I am.

I always consider this as my second life, my post-crash life,

and therefore I'm going to do as much as I can with it.

In order for you to give back,

I think we need to GO back, if that's OK.

-OK.

-It might not be an easy journey.

I'll have to face a few demons but I have my strategies.

-No time like the present. Shall we do it?

-OK, then.

-Come on.

-Thank you.

'We're hoping that by taking Pam on a journey into her past,

'it will help her make the big decision

'of who and how she might be able to help someone today.

'She's courageously volunteered to return to the site of the crash

'that changed her life 17 years ago.'

I see you've very bravely decided

to take us back to where it all happened.

Was that a difficult decision for you to come to?

-It no longer has an effect on me.

-Yeah.

It IS something that happened in the past. It's not present in my future.

The Paddington train crash was the worst rail disaster

to happen in Britain in the last 20 years.

A train leaving Paddington had failed to stop at a red signal

and collided almost head-on with the train Pam was travelling in.

That impact was the same as hitting a stationary object at 130mph.

The results were devastating.

-NEWS REPORT:

-The emergency teams fought to reach the injured

in the tangled wreckage and to recover the bodies of the dead.

An estimated 650 people were sitting or standing on board

when both trains collided.

The first and obvious question the investigators will have to answer

is how could all the safety checks fail,

allowing these two packed trains

to be directed onto the same stretch of track?

And what injuries did you have when you first went into the hospital?

OK, I had what they call full thickness burns,

ie, I'd lost all layers of skin to parts of my legs,

my hands and also from my top lip upwards, the whole of my face.

-NEWS REPORT:

-At least six hospitals in the capital

were put on major incident alert and were receiving casualties.

But several patients remain in a critical condition.

Pam's injuries were so severe

that for three weeks, she was in intensive care in a coma.

During that time, surgeons performed skin grafts on her hands and face.

-So, I got to see the grafted bits.

-Right.

Which is why, to me, the injuries weren't as bad

-as they must have been while I was unconscious.

-Right.

Though Pam was spared the sight of her injuries at their very worst,

even a month after the crash, they were still devastating.

Her face was so badly burnt that, in order for it to heal,

she had to wear a plastic mask 23 hours a day for the next 18 months.

Her masked face became a defining image of the rail disaster

that was seen all round the world.

I've got two ways I know.

I can start screaming and saying, "How dare this happen to me?"

Or you have to think, "Right, I'm going listen

"to the advice I'm given and I'm going to work on it."

Cos you were known as the "Lady in the Mask".

-That was my... It still IS my moniker.

-Is it?

People still refer to me as the Lady in the Mask.

But that vision, even now, for me, I remember seeing that.

-In the papers and stuff?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, I mean, that took me back,

when the media picked up on the mask,

but I'm really grateful to that mask.

-I've still got it at home.

-Have you?

-Yeah.

-It's like an old friend. I mean, it's not up anywhere.

-Right.

But it's sort of wrapped up and then popped away.

Cos you come across as somebody

-that's got an amazing inner strength.

-When you're tested...

..by an incident that makes you re-evaluate everything in life

and then puts you, yourself, to the test,

and is trying to break you, that's when you suddenly realise,

"Actually I can do a lot more than I thought I could."

To get to the site of the crash,

we're going to retrace the journey Pam made from Reading station

on that fateful morning 17 years ago.

Since being involved in the crash, Pam does still use the train,

but it's something she never finds easy.

When I started catching the train again...

-Oh, God, that first journey, I gritted my teeth and did it.

-Right.

I had to run off to the loo halfway through and throw up profusely.

Um, but I did it, and the sense of elation,

once I'd got to my appointment and then could sort of relax.

And they all stood up and gave me a standing ovation,

-which was lovely.

-Ah, how amazing.

-So, here we are. The station.

-Yeah.

-Are you OK?

-Yeah, yeah.

'Since the crash, Pam has suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder.

'Today's journey is a challenge for her

'but it's one she's determined to face up to.

'She has a carefully designed routine to help her make the trip.'

My psychologist has helped me, where we've developed this strategy

of creating a sort of protective bubble around myself.

And how do you do that?

It's almost like a form of meditation.

You're putting yourself into a zone where you have to sit there

and think to yourself, "Should something bad happen again,

-"then that's the way it has to be."

-OK.

"However, I am safe, I am comfortable, I am warm."

And then I use music to distract my thought processes.

'Pam is returning to the station

'where, on a crisp, clear morning in 1999,

'she set out on a journey she'd made countless times before.

'As a young and ambitious financial advisor,

'Pam was headed to London for a training course.

'Little did she know her life was about to change forever.'

-I'm OK at the moment.

-Good.

When you're here, in this station now,

-you obviously think about the journey that you made.

-Yeah.

It was one of those autumn days. There wasn't a cloud in the sky.

-It was that bright sunny blue.

-Right.

And I always remember, I was stood on the platform

and although it was October, I was wearing warm clothes

-but I didn't have a jacket on.

-Right.

I only had gloves on to keep my hands warm and some sunglasses.

I looked up and was enjoying the sunshine, thinking,

-"Isn't it lovely to be alive?"

-Goodness me!

Little knowing exactly what was about to happen to me

about 20 minutes later.

I will need to... I was going to say leave you.

Not physically leave you but I have my coping mechanisms

that my psychologist and I came up with,

-which does involve some loud music, I'm afraid.

-No problem with that.

And then when we get on the platform,

-I have my back... as the train comes in.

-OK.

-And I just, as I say, I go into my bubble.

-OK.

-But that prepares me to then get on the train.

-OK.

And hopefully it won't be too packed.

-But if you need me, I'm here.

-Oh, thank you, thank you.

-I mean it.

-Thank you very much.

You can feel my hands have already gone cold, haven't they?

Freezing cold. You're making MY heart go now, as well, honestly.

'I honestly can't imagine how Pam must feel boarding this train

'after all she's been through, but making this journey is something

'that's very important to her.

'As part of her coping mechanism,

'Pam is listening to music on her headphones

'and has asked me not to talk to her

'whilst we're travelling, so that she can remain focused.

'Our journey takes us past Ladbroke Grove junction,

'the very spot where the crash happened...

'..before we finally arrive at Paddington.'

-How are you doing?

-Yep, I am actually fine.

-Good.

That's probably been the best journey I've had for a long time.

-Really? Oh, I'm glad.

-Thank you.

'I'm so happy the journey's gone well for Pam,

'but there's one more important thing she wants to do.

'She's brought me to Ladbroke Grove Junction, the site of the crash.'

So this is actually where the crash happened.

Yeah, this is... where the two trains met.

-In fact, I think the signal's just at that bridge.

-Right.

That's the one that the Thames Turbo went through.

-And you were coming at a pace this way.

-We were coming this way, yeah.

We were at full tilt because we had the green light,

so there was no reason to have slowed down.

I can't begin to imagine what it looked like here

when those two trains hit one another.

Well, obviously, I mean, I was badly injured,

although I didn't realise how badly. However, I was conscious,

even afterwards, and because of this embankment,

the only way they could get me to the ambulances was to hoist me

on a chair up from the bottom.

So, of course, when I get to about that level,

-where that rail is, I then had a whole view.

-Oh, my God.

But, do you know, Aled, the only thing I can keep thinking,

my brain actually went - and I think this was survival mode -

"Don't take it in. You have enough to cope with at the moment.

"Do not take this in." So I didn't.

Pam was one of 523 people injured in the crash.

Many of those involved did not survive.

Incredible to think that 31 people, as you say, lost their lives there.

Yeah, yeah. And I must admit...

on the 5th October, every single year, even now, 16 years later,

I stop whatever I'm doing and I'm quiet for a couple of minutes.

'Those who died in the crash are not forgotten.

'Today, a garden overlooking the rail line commemorates their loss.'

So this is the memorial to the 31 that lost their lives.

-Yes, which I think is a tasteful memorial.

-It is, very much so.

-Cos this was actually paid for by the public donations.

-Oh.

That's how this garden came about.

-You were lucky you didn't lose your life.

-Yeah.

And you were lucky, as well,

in the support that you got to rehabilitate as well.

Yes, absolutely. There were a lot of people that helped support me

and I wouldn't be here without them. But thank God they did.

-Yeah, I'm glad you brought me here.

-Thank you. I'm pleased you came.

'For Pam, this visit has clearly revived memories

'of all she's been through

'and I'm hoping it'll help focus her mind on who she can help today.'

Coming up, the team have been working hard to track down someone

whose story we hope will really resonate with Pam,

and we think we've found them.

She's an inspirational young woman whose story echoes Pam's own.

She thinks we're making a programme

about people with life-changing injuries

and has no idea she could be in for an incredible gift.

Pam's road to recovery has been a long one

but there were two key things that helped her through the dark times.

First, she set up the Paddington Survivors Group,

which met in this very hotel.

It gave her a fresh sense of purpose,

as a passionate campaigner for rail safety

which, in turn, led to a whole new career as a professional speaker.

And, just as importantly, she had the support of a man

who knew exactly what she was going through.

So go on, then, what's the significance of this place?

Well, this brings back so many memories

because it was the first positive step I took after hospital,

because I wanted to set up a group of survivors, purely,

-to start off with, as emotional support for each other.

-Right.

Was there one person who you turned to for emotional support

more than anyone else?

Yes, eventually, after I'd been through a heck of a downturn,

I always remember the one person I didn't expect to have time to help,

-but did, was Simon Weston.

-Ah.

-And I refer to him as my guru.

We've been good friends ever since but, in a way, he became my guru.

-OK. I know him quite well, as well, actually.

-Oh, do you?

-Yeah.

-Of course, you're Welsh lads, aren't you?

-Yeah, we all know each other!

-Shall we have a little wander?

-Yes, OK.

-Great.

'Pam doesn't know it, but we've brought her here

'for a special meeting.'

-There's the reason I've brought you out here.

-Ah, right, OK.

-Really nice to see you, pal.

-Are you good?

-I'm good, thanks.

-Hello, darling.

-Are you good, sweetie?

-Yes, I'm fine.

-Well, this is a lovely reunion.

-Yes, he's one of my favourite people.

Simon Weston knows what it's like

to endure traumatic life-changing injuries.

As a soldier in the Falklands, in 1982,

he was on the troop ship, the Sir Galahad, when it was bombed.

He suffered burns to 46% of his body.

It was Simon's openness in publicly discussing

his difficult road to recovery

that encouraged Pam to reach out to him

when she was experiencing her own crisis.

So how did you first meet?

Pam had let it be known that she'd like to speak to me,

so I managed to get her telephone number and I phoned her up.

And he was so lovely and so charming and he said,

"Why don't you come up and meet me and we can have a good old chat."

So, yes, I did the trip, didn't I?

You did, yeah, you arrived in a car and we were there for about...

-Hours.

-..four, five, maybe six hours, talking, drinking tea.

Are there parallels in your story, would you say, then?

Without a doubt.

How the fire hits you is not really as relevant

-as the fact that it does hit you.

-Right.

And in both of our circumstances,

-we were both wide awake when it happened.

-Mm.

So you remember everything that happened.

EXPLOSION Simon was on the tank deck

of the Sir Galahad when the fireball ripped through it.

22 of the 30 men in his platoon died.

Simon survived but his injuries left him psychologically traumatised.

You go through hospital and then it's when hospital disappears,

when all those people and the noise and the crowds disappear,

that's when you need somebody who can understand where you're walking,

and why you aren't sleeping

and why you've got all these disruptive patterns to your life.

Simon was actually the first person I admitted

I was having self-destructive, you know, pushing everyone away,

life-threatening thoughts and feelings and actions,

and he then said to me, "Well, I've been there."

And it was almost like a switch, wasn't it?

It was almost like I turned round and said, "Oh, thank God!"

And all of a sudden, Pam was sitting with somebody

that went, "Yeah, I went through it."

Went through what, though, would you say?

There's altered body image, loss of identity,

breakdown of relationships,

career paths altered or lost,

-and you go through a huge amount of self-loathing...

-Yeah.

..because of the appearance and the facial scarring and disfigurement.

And all of those things go on and you've got to deal with that.

Pam struggled in the years following the crash,

until she finally reached a point where she hit rock-bottom.

But knowing he was then in my corner,

and he offered me his friendship straightaway,

that just gave me that bit of hope and it helped enormously,

so everything I have become since, there's a lot of...

-it's down to Simon.

-It's a strange relationship.

It's forged out of something that's so horrific for both of us.

-Adversity.

-But I had greater experience

and I'd had longer to get over it.

How do you feel about the fact that, you know,

Pam now almost wants to do what you did to her?

She wants to go back and give back to somebody who's struggling.

Sometimes everybody needs a word of advice - everybody.

It doesn't matter how long you've been doing things,

you always look for guidance somewhere.

If, by what I've done and the way I've lived my life,

is something of a signpost as to what can work

and what can help others, then that's hugely flattering.

It's very rewarding because it means that it wasn't for nothing.

And, Pam, for you, coming back here,

has it reinforced that feeling of wanting to help somebody else?

It's again reminded me of where I've come, how far I've come.

And, again, if I can then help somebody on their road to that...

And who knows? That person may end up, in 15 or 16 years,

wanting to do exactly what Simon wanted to do for me

and I want to do for somebody else.

So it might become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Who knows?

For Pam, this return journey into her past

has sparked powerful memories.

31 people died and I was so badly burnt and injured

that I should have been the 32nd victim.

'She's been brave enough to relive

'the terrible day that changed her life.'

I was stood on that platform and I looked up

and was enjoying the sunshine,

thinking, "Isn't it lovely to be alive?"

'But, most importantly, it's focused her mind

'on those who were there for her when she was in need.'

There were a lot of people that helped support me

and I wouldn't be here without them.

Bringing Pam back to the place where her life changed forever

and meeting the man who helped her when she hit rock-bottom

has definitely reminded Pam of the incredible journey that she's made.

It's also reinforced in her that desire to want to give

something back to someone who's going through difficulties today.

Of course, there are many people who could benefit from Pam's help,

but we think we've found somebody

whose story has many parallels with her own.

Last year, 23-year-old Phyllida was spending her summer break

from university volunteering in Africa.

On her first day there,

the minivan she was travelling in crashed into a coach.

Phyllida was badly injured and, like Pam,

she emerged from her accident with life-changing facial injuries.

Phyllida thinks we're making a programme about survivors of trauma

and has no idea that Pam is on a mission to give something back.

Actually, I am so excited about meeting Phyllida.

I've read about her and I've read her back story

and there is quite a lot there, actually, that resonates. It's...

Although they're two very different experiences,

there was a lot there that...

It could have been me talking 15 years ago.

So I'm really looking forward to meeting her and then exploring

whether there's a possibility that I might be able

to give something to her, to give back.

-Hi, Phyllida.

-Hi, nice to meet you.

-How lovely to meet you.

-And you.

-Do you mind if I call you Phyll?

-Yeah, absolutely fine.

-Thank you.

-Lovely day.

-I know, it's so nice. Maybe a little bit TOO sunny.

I was so excited about meeting you.

-I've read a little bit about what happened to you.

-Yeah.

But I don't know any more than that.

The accident happened a year ago.

-Is it only a year?

-Only a year.

-Goodness me.

But it seems like a million years ago.

Phyllida had only just arrived in Ghana,

where she was going to spend the summer

volunteering with a local charity, when the accident happened.

We were supposed to be going on safari that evening,

so we were driving overnight to go to safari.

And then at about four o'clock in the morning,

we collided with another vehicle when we were trying to overtake.

And the whole left side of the vehicle, where I was sitting,

just crumbled in and that was where the impact was.

Oh, my goodness.

So the degree of severity was obviously, the driver was the worst,

and then another guy, Jamie, and then myself and then another guy.

-But did all four of you survive?

-Everyone survived.

-Small mercies.

-An absolute blessing.

Phyllida was asleep when the crash happened.

At first, she didn't realise the full extent of her injuries.

The first thing I did was feel my face

and I could just feel that it was all cut open

and I kept drifting in and out of consciousness

and then the next time I woke up, we were on the road

and there was all of these people kind of, you know,

bustling around us and trying to help us.

There was no ambulance, there was no police, it was just all locals.

In a funny sort of way, that sounds so similar, cos I remember

when the train crash happened,

the emergency services couldn't get to us

cos there were too many barriers, so for quite a while

it was down to the uninjured survivors

-helping the injured survivors.

-Yeah.

One of Phyllida's fellow passengers flagged down a passing bus

which took the injured to a remote local hospital.

There, Phyllida's face was hurriedly stitched

to prevent her losing any more blood.

That was then undone and resewn up by plastic surgeons

but at the time, it was done out of emergency,

I was in the middle of a waiting room and the hospital...

The girl that was awake, she had to knock on the door

and turn the lights on in this hospital,

so it was all a bit kind of rushed.

But at that point, I hadn't spoken to my parents yet,

so then I looked at myself, I got my phone back and I was like,

"I'm going to ring my dad, but I'm not going to ring my mum

"cos she'll freak out, so I'm going to ring my dad first."

I said, "Don't worry, but I need to tell you something."

Oh, yeah, that was the hardest part.

After six days in hospital in Ghana, Phyllida was flown back home,

where she was immediately admitted to the local hospital.

There, doctors discovered that she had undiagnosed injuries,

which included broken ribs, hips and spine.

Surgeons set to work to try and minimise

the damage that had been done.

-It turned out that I'd had a wound in the back of my head as well.

-Oh!

And that hadn't been undone.

The nurses here likened that

to chicken wire that they'd done it up with.

The crash left Phyllida scarred for life.

As Pam knows, facial disfigurement challenges

a person's whole sense of who they are.

I remember my reaction when I first looked at my face in the mirror.

How did YOU feel?

I was lucky enough that my phone came out of the crash unscathed.

-Right.

-So I took a picture of myself and it was bizarre.

I was on a lot of painkillers but it was just a bit... I don't know.

-It was all...

-You couldn't quite work out...

No, I didn't really start to deal with anything

until I went back to uni.

That was when I suddenly felt like a human again, but at the same time

I also felt like I wasn't myself

and everything was called into question,

like the way I was dressing, the way I did my hair

and whether I would do it the same,

whether I was now this... whether I could still pull off...

I got rid of all my piercings

and didn't want to wear bright colours any more

cos I didn't want to attract attention to myself.

Cos I forget all the time. I was at a country fair the other day

and I was being sold this cream,

and I go, and I'm like, "Can you do something for my eczema?"

"Oh, you can put it on your scar too."

And then that threw me and then I could feel my heart

and I was getting a bit...

Cos I just suddenly remembered that there was something different.

Phyllida has had to undergo numerous reconstructive operations

over the past year, which have been traumatic at times.

There was a chunk of glass that was still in my forehead

seven months later, so I had that out a couple of months ago,

and that was just a local anaesthetic

and I was awake the whole time

and the moment the anaesthetic went in,

everything...everything came back. And I wasn't expecting it.

I went in, "Oh, I can handle this. I've been through everything."

And then you had a flashback.

I was trembling and the nurse had to hold my hand.

You don't expect these sudden bouts of, you know, a down day,

or whatever, and then it comes and it just overwhelms you a little bit.

The hardest part was obviously straight after the accident

and I had all of these plans and then, you know,

I was straight back with my parents, and it was like I was a child again

and I reverted straight back to just being miserable

-and not having the energy to do anything.

-Mm.

I didn't eat, it was just... Everything was exhausting.

Emotional turmoil.

Bear in mind what you've been through is huge.

I think that's why I was so keen to meet you

-because I was identifying with your story.

-Yeah.

I know it's very different but you've got to remember,

even somebody who would go through less than we have,

-they will get post-traumatic stress disorder...

-Mm.

..which does involve flashbacks, nightmares, even throwing up.

I haven't yet had a chance to really talk to anyone

that's been in a similar situation, so it's good to get your insight.

For both Pam and Phyllida, a key part of their road to recovery

has been talking about their experiences publicly.

Phyllida has been working with the facial disfigurement charity

Changing Faces, which has encouraged her to share her story

with young people who are also facing challenges.

Phyll, it may be too early,

but have you had any thoughts about what you might want to do?

Well, recently, I was actually able to, through the charity,

do a talk at a Teenage Cancer Trust event with teenagers,

and it was this weekend retreat called Find Your Sense of Tumour.

-Oh, clever!

-So, there were all these workshops and things

that was just trying to give them a boost, basically,

and they asked me to go along and give a talk and it was incredible.

It was...

Obviously, I've never had cancer

but I tried to still give my insight from my perspective,

going through trauma,

going through loss at a young age.

And it's about being motivational but being real.

This is something Pam can identify with.

Her career as a professional speaker

has been based on using her experience

of overcoming trauma and adversity to inspire others.

You've actually sent the hairs on the back of my neck going up.

That is so well-balanced.

Gosh, I am completely blown away by you, I really am, honestly.

Goodness me! Crikey, I'm going to have to recover for a bit!

-Would you like to do it again?

-Yeah, definitely,

if somewhere will have me.

Look, before I go,

I will leave you my contact details, and I mean this sincerely -

I want you to feel free to contact me at any time,

-even if you're just feeling a bit down.

-Yeah.

Because, in a way, we're almost part of an exclusive club.

If there's one person that's going to understand how you feel,

I think I will.

Well, as I said, it has been an absolute pleasure to meet you.

Thank you so much.

And I think you're an extraordinary young woman

and you're going to go on and do big things.

-I can definitely see that happening.

-Thank you so much.

So what has Pam made of her encounter with Phyllida

and does she feel she's found someone she can help?

Wow, what an impressive girl!

I cannot believe, for such a young lady,

that she's so mature and grounded

and I love the energy I was getting off her

and I think, if anyone deserves a break, it's definitely her

and, yeah, I would like to help her, and I'm actually going to...

Excuse me a minute.

Now Pam needs to take some time

to work out just what she can do for Phyllida.

Enabling people to make a positive change in their lives

is something Pam does all the time as a motivational speaker.

How will she help Phyllida take the next step in her life?

Well, it's been a few days since I saw Pam, and during that time

she's met up with Phyllida,

whose story really struck a chord with her.

Phyllida reminded Pam of herself 15 years ago,

a year after her incident, and it really made her quite emotional.

She was bowled over by Phyllida's strength,

but hearing what she's going through

reminded her of how difficult that time is.

Well, I'm on my way to meet Pam now.

It's time to find out how she's feeling

and whether she's ready to change someone's life.

It's a massive decision.

Phyllida is enjoying a picnic with her friends in a local park.

Unbeknown to her, I'm meeting Pam just around the corner

to find out what she's decided.

-Hi.

-Nice to see you.

-And you.

-Another beautiful day.

-Isn't it just?

-So you've met Phyllida.

-I have, yes, and, well, goodness me!

Her attitude is just amazing. It's, um...

She's got obviously a lot of determination.

She wants to help other people, which bodes well for the future,

-and there's just something that radiates off her.

-Right.

-Are you going to help her?

-I am, yes. I really would like to.

She mentioned, during the conversation,

how much she enjoyed standing up

and speaking in front of people, and of course

-that's what I do for a living.

-It's like looking in the mirror.

Yes, so I suddenly went, "A-ha."

So let's get down to the nitty-gritty.

How are you going to help her?

What I do remember, when I was starting out, was how hard it was.

So I think I could really give her direction

and, if you like, leap her ahead of the learning curve

that most people would have to go through.

So, I know there's a particularly good workshop

that's specifically designed for speakers

-to teach them about sales and marketing.

-OK.

-So that might be a good thing for her to do.

-OK.

One of the best things, though, is probably for her to attend

the Professional Speakers Association's annual conference.

-Where's that?

-It's in Nottingham.

-OK.

All the speakers from round the country get together

and in fact international speakers

from every single country you can think of fly in for that conference.

-OK.

-What I'd probably do is organise for Phyll to come with me

-and introduce her to some of the movers and shakers.

-Wow.

Networking in that environment

I think will do her career a power of good.

And then, best of all, I still have a mentor.

He has agreed to meet Phyll for me

and then he will give her a two-hour workshop.

He will then see whether he can mentor Phyll as he mentored me.

Isn't this going to cost a lot of money, all this?

-Yes, it's going to cost over £2,500.

-Gosh, that's very generous of you.

However, I feel that if I can give her the step-up

and to put her on about six steps into a career that she wants, um,

by using MY money, then I'm happy to do so.

It's amazing, when you think about it,

cos you could be changing her life forever.

Oh, I hope that's what...that's how she views it.

And my reward, in the future, will be if I hear somebody saying,

"Have you seen that Phyllida Swift speak? She's absolutely fantastic."

Then I'll be able to sit back and go, "Ha! I started that."

"I was there at the beginning."

'Pam has written Phyllida a letter explaining all she wants to say.'

Because my memory's so shocking,

-I thought the best thing to do was to put this down in a letter.

-OK.

So I've drafted a letter

also telling Phyll how much I admire her, how much I hope for her future.

I've listed everything down and, hopefully...

I'm slightly nervous about whether she'll accept it or not.

I'm sure she will.

Listen, I know she's having a little picnic around the corner

-with her mates.

-Ah.

So I think we should go and surprise her now, don't you?

-OK, yes, I would love to sneak up on her.

-I can't wait. Come on.

Phyllida has no idea what's about to happen.

Just how will she react to Pam's life-changing gift?

I think they're just round the corner, actually.

My heart rate's going up, I don't know about yours.

I am getting more nervous each and every step.

It's such a massive thing, isn't it?

What you've got in that letter could change her life forever.

Yes, when you think about it, that's why I'm so nervous

because, effectively, I have got, potentially, her dream in my hand.

-I know you have.

-So...

-It doesn't get bigger than that.

INAUDIBLE CHATTER

-She still hasn't seen us.

-I know.

-She's wrapped up in conversation with her friends.

-That's good.

-Phyllida?

-Yeah.

-Hi.

-Hi. Oh, hello, you're here!

-Hi, I'm Aled, Aled Jones.

-Hi.

-Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

-From the BBC.

-Hi.

-Um, now listen.

-You thought we were making a programme just about survivors.

-OK.

-It's not the full story, is it?

-No, not at all.

It's a good thing I didn't have a mouthful of falafel or anything!

It's a good thing, yes.

I was so impressed by you yesterday

and I really like the attitude you've got about moving forward,

-that I put a few thoughts down in a letter for you.

-OK.

-So I wondered whether you'd like to look at it and read it.

-OK.

-Will you read it out loud?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-Oh, God. OK.

"Dear Phyll, it has been such a pleasure to meet you

"and I have been really impressed with your attitude and resilience

"at what I very well know is such a huge life challenge.

"As you move forward, please never berate yourself,

"should you encounter moments of weakness, negativity

"or the feeling that you can't go on.

"You can, and I get the impression you will always find a way

"to rise to whatever obstacle faces you.

"Always remember the mantra, 'This, too, will pass.'

"I would dearly like to help you with moving forward

"to what I hope will be a fulfilling,

"exciting and rewarding future.

"As you mentioned that you would love to become

"a motivational speaker, I would like to gift the following to you.

"I have thought long and hard about what would have helped me the most

"when I was starting out on a speaking career

"and hope that my gift will achieve a flying start

"in this field for you. During the next 12 months,

"I will pay towards you getting started and set up

"as a motivational speaker." Oh, my God!

"I will cover the costs of membership

"to the Professional Speakers Association,

"tickets to a specialist workshop and attendance

"at this year's three-day Professional Speakers conference.

"And last but not least,

"I have arranged for you to have a two-hour meeting

"with one of the best motivational speakers in the world."

Oh, my God!

"If you use my gift as your launchpad into the speaking world,

"my reward and return will be when I hear your name being mentioned

"in glowing terms by others as a brilliant speaker in years to come.

"I can almost see myself already, smilingly privately,

"knowing that I may have been a small part

"of the reason for the comments.

"I truly wish you all the best with whatever your future might be.

"Do stay in touch.

"Let me know how life progresses for you and, rest assured,

"you will have continued support whenever you need it."

-Thank you so much!

-It's a pleasure, honestly. It's a real pleasure.

-It's amazing.

-Oh.

-Thank you. That's the best thing ever.

-Does that help?

-Yeah, massively!

-Do you think?

-Yeah!

-It's the best thing ever, you said.

-Yeah.

-What difference will that make to you?

Obviously, that was the kind of thing I wanted to get into,

but I had absolutely no idea HOW and this gives me a clear path.

While you experience all this, I'll make sure I keep an eye on you.

I won't interfere,

but I'm there for you to take advice from when you want it.

I could hear my voice getting all weird when I was saying that.

I'm so pleased that you're happy, because, you know,

-you deserve the best.

-Thank you.

-It's amazing.

-So, this is it - the start of your journey.

-I know!

-Now I have, like, direction in my life.

-Good, good.

-Listen, we'll let you carry on with your picnic.

-Thank you very much.

-And chat to your mates about it and we'll head off, shall we?

-OK.

-Come on, then.

-Thank you so much.

-Pleasure. Nice to see you. Bye-bye.

-Bye.

Oh, Phyll, that's amazing!

-I'm so proud of you!

-So, now you know what you're going to do.

-Now I know what I'm going to do.

-It's amazing.

You could just see on her face how much it means to her.

Which is why I'm hopeful that it IS the beginning

of a sparkling career for her.

She was totally surprised!

-You could hear her voice cracking, couldn't you?

-Yeah.

She's definitely touched by it, so...

I think Phyll will be an absolutely amazing speaker in the future.

-She's already the most bubbly, confident person ever.

-Yeah.

So I think this will be a massive platform for her to start,

you know, doing a lot more work. Exciting stuff ahead of her.

If it does change her life, then I'll be really happy.

But that's not why you set out to do these things.

It is giving back and it's a way of me saying thank you

to whatever powers there are out there for saving me

and for making sure that I'm still here

in order to do this for somebody else.

I'm so pleased that Pam was able to help Phyllida.

They're both such courageous people.

Neither of them are dwelling on negatives in the past.

They're both focusing on positives and the future

and today, Pam made Phyllida's future that much brighter.