Episode 1 Normal for Norfolk

Tucked away on the coast of North Norfolk

lies Wiveton Hall Farm, a 17th-century manor house

surrounded by fields of fruit,

vegetables and barley.

Come on, here.

It's home to gentleman farmer Desmond MacCarthy...

Penny, come on.

..who lives here with his 99-year-old mother, Chloe...

Nice shirt you've got on today. Where did you get that from?

-I did, I think in London.

-London.

..and children, Isabel and Edmund.

This is my home-made cannon

that fires all sorts of fruit.

CANNON POPS SHE LAUGHS

Yay.

'When you look at the house from here, what do you think?'

Well, I always think how beautiful it is,

with the marshes behind leading to the sea,

it's a really special spot.

Throughout the spring and summer,

Desmond relies on his cafe,

cottages and crops to generate enough income

to keep the farm afloat.

Such a peculiar business, having to grow all this

and then convert it into money.

But balancing the books is never easy.

We are £19,000 down on last year.

Oh, dear.

Every year before winter closes in,

Desmond must find new ways to make ends meet...

I mean, just like how Glastonbury started.

Oh, my God!

..while trying to maintain the country traditions of his childhood.

Edmund, well shot.

I slowed him up.

I've lived here all my life.

I've probably got arrested development

because I've never grown up properly

because I've never moved away.

It's spring and after a long winter

Wiveton Hall Farm is coming back to life.

Very satisfactory.

I want to get it cut down this time of year before it's too late

so that any growth comes to something by the autumn.

Well done. We have to let the light in.

Edmund's getting a few more pizzas organised.

Today, with help from his children,

Desmond is hosting a party for all his farm and cafe workers.

Oh, brilliant, Isabel. Well done.

Shall I take those plates away?

Over the next six months, Desmond and his staff need to make

the most out of the busy Norfolk tourist season ahead.

Thank you all for coming.

We are approaching the front of when all sorts of people appear

who are on holiday.

It's quite unnatural to be

-with their families.

-LAUGHTER

You can tell by the way they're walking,

they're uncomfortable,

the father's having to open his wallet every day.

It's really difficult, so be as nice to everyone as you can...

..because it's really unnatural for everyone to be together.

The family is not a natural unit any more.

But you are part of, part on the plantation,

you are, we are one big family...

LAUGHTER

So let's hope it all goes well.

Thank you all very much. Goodbye.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

We've got all these different projects going on here,

whether it's growing fruit

or the crops on the farm

or the cafe.

There's a short window of opportunity in that

that's when we've got to make our revenue.

And if the weather is right, people come,

if the weather's right, the crops do well

and we do well.

But if it doesn't go according to plan, you know,

you don't have a very good year

and so you're on your back foot for the next year.

Ordering, guys, one pork and two...

Nine years ago, Desmond converted an old barn

into the Wiveton Hall Cafe.

But despite its popularity,

it's yet to turn a profit.

Although the tills ring all through the summer and there's lots

and lots of people here and you can turn over

hundreds of thousands of pounds,

it's not that simple.

Last year was awful.

The cafe was very heavy on staff costs

and so if it continued to be run the way it was run last year,

I don't think it was a viable business.

It's different this year, we've made a few changes to the

structure of the cafe

which hopefully are working.

We're trying to run it on less staff

which means everyone has to work a lot harder

but hopefully it makes the cafe much more profitable

at the end of the year,

which is why we're all here really.

We're going to quickly see Ben

because we've got some exciting news.

In a bid to improve the image of the cafe,

Desmond has come up with a plan.

Who was that man called Campbell who helped Tony Blair?

-'Alistair.'

-Alistair Campbell.

I mean he, you have to put a positive spin

on everything, don't you? He introduced that.

Oh, Ben, we know we said we hoped we'd get someone

to come and review us.

-OK.

-Well, they're coming tomorrow.

-OK.

-And he's called Mr Pembroke.

-OK.

And we don't know anything about him

-other than he owns a magazine called The Oldie.

-OK.

All we can do is give him a nice table and not upset him

-and hopefully he'll enjoy it.

-Fantastic.

'You don't need more notice than that, do you?'

Yes, it's typical Desmond behaviour, that's for sure.

-'Have you heard of the magazine?'

-I haven't, actually.

Charlotte?

Do you want to Google Oldie magazine and we'll have a look?

ROOSTER CROWS

ENGINE STUTTERS

ENGINE STARTS

THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

The first crop of the year to be harvested is the asparagus

which is picked every morning by a team of Eastern European farm hands.

'So, they're off to do the asparagus, are they?'

Well, they're going in the wrong direction, but anyway...

they may get there.

Bonnie, come on.

Well, I think the weedkiller's worked very well, hasn't it?

Here's a lovely asparagus.

We harvest it as it produces all these shoots

for the next two months.

With warm, humid weather

it will grow very fast.

It's quite an old crop so it's not the biggest.

If its stem was twice as thick we'd make twice as much money.

But I'm not nearly as proficient as others.

'What do you mean by that?'

'Well, I should have had a machine to bank up the soil.

I haven't got one of them.

'What are you doing, Pawel?'

Sorting asparagus.

Long, slim.

Short, big.

Different boxes.

'What's it like to work for Desmond?'

Everyone's crazy sometimes,

but he's really, he have good heart, good man.

On the other side of the farm, Desmond has come up with

another way to make money,

by turning the last of three farm cottages

into holiday lets.

It's a bit of a bombsite at the moment

but it's much better you see it now, then we'll see it transformed.

Hello, Rodney. This is Rodney.

Hello, there.

Rodney's done all these cottages up over the years.

Renovations have started but with the first booking a month away,

Desmond's keeping an eye on progress.

We're very lucky that we are here rather than the back of beyond,

as with our restaurant, we're in a very popular location.

Oh, well done. Peter's doing steps.

Hello, Peter. Peter is a craftsman.

Will you remind me?

Kitchen delivered week after next.

-Yes, you're away next week, aren't you?

-Yes.

Anyway, this has had someone living here and enjoying it.

They liked it down the lane,

it was peaceful and quiet.

And he got up to all sorts of nefarious trades, allegedly.

And so he liked it tucked away.

But anyway, he's gone now, thank goodness.

'What do you mean by nefarious trade?'

Oh, well, you know, the sort of trade people get up to that...

supply people with substances, allegedly.

'So, have you got a name for the cottage?'

Oh, well, we're going to call it Smuggler's Cottage.

You can't really call it Drug Smuggler's Cottage but we'll see.

Small farming in the British Isles is increasingly hard.

Farmers have had to think of ways of

bringing in revenue from other sources.

So it might be having a lake

and doing fishing on it or

having a garden and opening it to the public.

All these things are diversified businesses

which have actually kept people employed on the farms

and connected to the properties and the land.

In the cafe, head chef Ben and his assistant, Ben,

are preparing for the arrival of the restaurant critic

from the humorous magazine, The Oldie.

-Are we feeling nervous about it?

-I'm not, you probably are.

HE LAUGHS

You're not meant to say things like that.

Cool, calm and collected at all times,

unless it is a bad review.

'How will Desmond be today?'

Um...

It depends on how much wine he had to drink last night.

He's called Pembroke, he's coming to eat in the cafe

and apparently he's only ever eaten four meals at home in his life.

So I'm imagining he's enormous.

-Ah, hello, nice to meet you.

-Absolutely.

I love your glasses.

-Yes, I know, they're very expensive.

-Very expensive.

Now, come in.

-You are a publisher.

-Absolutely.

And what else do you publish other than The Oldie?

The Oldie and I publish a garden design journal,

-and a magazine for a cycling tourist club.

-Yes.

So that's it. Most of my time's The Oldie, really.

Oh, isn't that good?

I have to say, I've only read it before in the doctor's surgery

but now I've got my own copy.

So you choose the restaurant.

I write the restaurant column, yeah.

Ah, yes. There we are, look at that.

-Where's Josephine?

-Coming.

Come on, Chrissie.

Ah, brilliant. Look at this. Look, look at this.

-This was the shed for storing barley and machinery.

-Lovely.

-A little shop there...

-So you converted it rather than built it?

-Yes, yes, converted it.

-Brilliant.

-You can see the view.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, that's amazing.

It's only a shame it's the North Sea, isn't it, really?

When you go to the country,

you want to go to a destination restaurant, really,

so you want it to be somewhere nice, you know,

looking over the marshes here, God, I mean, how nice is that?

Sunny day, glass of rose, what could be better?

A lot of asparagus. Oh, well, my God.

He's ordered an asparagus with butter and black pepper to start

followed by two hake, a crab salad and a portion of mixed bread.

Service, please.

The old adage is go for the fish

cos the fish tests the chef

cos fish is really difficult to cook, as we all know.

I mean, it can really go wrong.

That's it, two hake...

..and one crab salad for table 11. Phew.

More asparagus.

Unless he's exceptionally fussy, I can't see why he wouldn't like it.

'Will the review make a difference, do you think?'

Well, the review, we need all the,

well, of course The Oldie comes out once a month

and the grey pound, the retirement people's pound

is something that we really should tap into.

So we'll see how it goes.

He's spending a grey pound over there.

I soon will be.

I hope it's going well.

He hasn't sent it back so that's always a good start.

God, it is good actually. I mean, it is good, isn't it?

Really good food.

Dear old Desmond.

The asparagus is now halfway through its eight-week cycle,

prompting Desmond to open the

roadside stall for the first time this year.

This is what they call a seasonal shop.

It's been shut for quite a few months.

Oh, look, a customer. How exciting.

How many do you want?

We'll do a deal.

Five bunches.

How wonderful. If every customer...

..was like you, we'd be very happy.

That was an encouraging flurry of business, long may it last.

We've taken £20 in minutes.

Lovely rhubarb. Isn't it good?

In the pick-your-own fields

the strawberries are beginning to ripen

so Desmond has drafted in extra help.

These people are all from Lithuania

and they've come for a few days...

..from King's Lynn to help catch up

on weeds just before we do the pick-your-own.

I brought my mother to come along and see how things are going.

She's very good at assessing things.

We've come to see the fruit, haven't we?

It's all coming along.

And then they're spreading some straw, aren't they?

To keep the weeds down as well, as a mulch.

Very nice people.

The last gang we had were less productive

in that alcohol seemed to be a constant feature

of their daily drink consumption.

So we had to, they didn't stay long.

'Even agency staff are from Eastern Europe now.'

Oh, yes. I don't know what it is,

but on a day like this, it's not a bad job.

But people don't seem to want to work outside...

..for whatever reason.

Maybe they do want to work outside but don't want to work for me.

That may be another question

which we can't...

we can't really answer.

Would you like to come and see the cottage?

Come on, don't trip over the thing.

99-year-old Chloe has been living at Wiveton Hall

since her parents bought the farm in 1944.

What do you think of this bit at the back here?

It's lovely. Nice.

Look at the roses behind.

The roses over there.

-Do you see on that house?

-Yes.

-No, you don't.

I just can't really see them.

-No, all right.

-I can just see them.

Do you want go round the back? Round that way?

See the daisies.

And I'll come round and get you.

With the first guests due to arrive in a week's time

the builders have got everything under control.

Not bad for a beginner.

But Desmond can't resist getting involved.

It's a great art getting fires to work.

-Peter...

-Yeah?

Would you try and help me?

What do you think, Peter? Is it drawing all right?

I'd open the door just a crack to see if you can get a whoof.

No, no, no, we're not going to be sitting here with the door open

when you're on holiday.

I think that's going to be a wrong 'un.

Oh, bloody hell.

Yeah, it's very smoky.

I mean, very nice if you want to make kippers on holiday. Or ham.

-Have you got it?

-Yes.

What do you think? Do you think it looks a bit sort of

house that a hobbit would live in?

It's chunkier than I had envisaged.

-SMOKE ALARM BEEPS

-Oh, Lord!

Nothing in life goes quite according to plan, does it?

Lenny, I'm sorry about this. We'll leave now.

Ah, quite, quite smoky, wasn't it?

Oh, my goodness. Hello.

This way.

That's the fence. There's nothing going to stop you.

There's nothing that will stop her.

-Look at this, Sandy.

-What's that? The Oldie.

-That's us.

-Which I now take.

-Do you take The Oldie?

The review of the cafe has been published.

Desmond is joined by his daughter, Isabel,

and best friend, Andrew.

-Oh, look, it starts...

-What does it say?

"As this renowned bird lover sprung

"hobbit-like from the undergrowth of his garden..."

-LAUGHS:

-Yes.

"..I was delighted to discover he had trained two young

"blackbirds to perch on his forehead.

"Only when he drew closer they became shoulder width eyebrows."

THEY LAUGH

"He has agreed to bequeath them to the RSPB as nesting sites."

A little over doing the eyebrows, but there we are.

-We got reviewed.

-OK.

They go on a bit about me and my eyebrows a bit.

"Desmond has got every aspect of his cafe right,

"not least the price for beyond excellent food.

"Ben the chef is a marvel with fish and sauces."

There we are. All helps.

Grey pound is what we want to get into, isn't it?

Anyway, very nice.

Yeah, happy with that.

After weeks of early morning picking,

it's the last day for the farm workers in the asparagus fields.

'Will you miss it?'

-Asparagus?

-'Yes.'

-No.

As much as we love asparagus and it's important to Wiveton...

..we're all a little bit tired of prepping it.

Hopefully financially rewarding for Desmond.

You know, it is an expensive product for people to buy

so it would be a shame really

if we don't make money on it.

Are you ready for asparagus, Desmond?

In the office, Kim has been adding up the numbers.

Desmond?

-Shall I come over there?

-Don't let's worry,

I want to go and enjoy...

sugar... I want to go and enjoy the...

Body language tells me it's all over.

A psychologist would tell you

I don't want to face facts.

This is the stall, so the stall is where it's down a lot...

£2,000...

..with asparagus and asparagus for soup, which is the...

..lower grade stuff.

The decline partly reflects the fact that the bed is getting quite

old and we've decided that we're not going to pull out one bit.

It's just too thin.

So will you get another year from it?

-We would get it, but not a very brilliant one.

-Mm.

So, will we do asparagus next year?

Well, I could speak to someone about reviving it by banking it up.

-It's very popular in the cafe.

-Mm.

Bottom line. I love living here

and I want to make, keep the house standing,

the barns in better condition, you know, the place,

and have a little bit, you know amount of money to buy some petrol.

And... But you have to think a bit more than that nowadays.

Desmond, I'm biting my tongue.

Why are you biting your tongue?

Because we're trying to do things at the minute and

someone's getting in the way.

-Is that chest of drawers back as far as it will go, Sue?

-No.

-Would you move it back a bit?

-No.

It's all hands on deck over at Smuggler's Cottage

with the first paying guests due tomorrow.

-Hello.

-Hello.

Those useless people with the day bed,

we don't think they brought a mattress.

-That's ridiculous.

-So will you give someone hell and tell them to get in

-the car and bring it from Timbuktu?

-Yes.

Along with the help of his son, Edmund, Desmond has hired

the services of family friend and interior designer, Annabel Grey.

Sunflowers, the Van Gogh.

I'm coming round to the Sunflowers.

-I know.

-Well, does this want to go upstairs in the little bedroom?

Careful, Edmund, it's not, think for a moment.

It's wood.

Think for a moment. Is it not just meant to have a mattress on it?

-Oh, hello.

-Hello.

-It's not coming, why not?

Because there's been a complete cock-up.

I'm just going to go and see what mattress we've got.

Surely we've got a spare mattress.

I'm looking for... Oh, look.

Do you think he's going to come back? Have you got a phone, Annabel?

Because we're running out of time, aren't we?

Look at it, lovely colour.

-It's horsehair.

-It's lumpy.

-It's horsehair.

-It's like a dog's bed.

I think my mother won't know to miss it.

SHE LAUGHS

-Does it feel stringy?

-No, it's lovely now.

Quite all right. You see what our sofa is.

-It's too big.

-We're not going to get it

absolutely perfect in 24 hours.

Annabel, just don't worry.

-Perfect.

-Level?

-Level.

-Yes?

-Yeah.

SHE LAUGHS

Oh, I thought you said it was perfect.

What's the matter with you, child?

The next morning,

and with the first guest about to arrive at Smuggler's Cottage,

Desmond is feeling a little worse for wear.

Hello. How do you do?

We'll find the key.

You're the first customers.

Very exciting. I'm afraid the lawn's not perfect,

if any of you are any good at catching moles.

I'm not sure which key does what at the moment.

Where's the key?

Wait.

Ah, um, let me go and look.

Wait, wait, we'll go and look.

Um...

That was a bit of a false start.

Um, I'll just go back and get the key,

if you wouldn't mind waiting here.

'What did you do last night, Desmond?'

It was the 200th anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo.

We drank some 200-year-old Madeira

which had been kept in a barrel for many, many years and topped up.

Do you know, it was very good.

But I don't think I should drink it too often.

I've got the key, nightmare.

-There, here we go in, go in.

-Yeah?

People have got high expectations.

It's the way of the world, you know.

So you've got to be really good at what you do now.

Now, that's open at the moment.

Oh, we could have got in this door.

It's got a remote control.

Yes, it's very important so you don't lose them.

Hope the TV works.

We've got to be terribly professional,

which is a shame in some respects.

There's no room for people to muddle along.

'Did there use to be?'

I think there was more room.

-We'll see you later.

-Yeah, see you around. Cheers.

You're the first person.

-Anyway, good. See you later.

-Yes, bye.

There we are.

Look at this, weighed down with fruit.

Look, so ripe they're falling off.

Oh, my God. Pigeons round me everywhere.

No brave beekeeper bothers with cream

but I'm not a professional.