Episode 1 Invasion of the Job Snatchers

Christchurch, a sleepy little town on the south coast of England,

where a third of the population is over 60.

Nicknamed God's Waiting Room, it's the ultimate pensioners' paradise.

But all that's about to change.

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

The town is opening its gates to an invasion of desperate young

job seekers, to take part in a unique social experiment.

Youth unemployment across the UK is at an all-time high.

I've been homeless. I've slept on the streets.

I'd clean toilets, I'd look after old people, I'd do anything.

It is really tough looking for work and especially

when you're not hearing anything back from anyone.

But Christchurch struggles to attract young people to work

in their old-fashioned businesses.

All the butchers that I know are all getting old now.

This trade needs new blood.

Senior employers have offered eight weeks' work experience.

If impressed, the mentors will offer a permanent job.

The youth of today, I think, they've got it tough.

It's not a very nice place to be.

In exchange, the town will receive a much-needed injection of

fresh ideas and new blood.

Welcome to the ancient borough of Christchurch.

# I said I'm living in a lost generation... #

A swarm of the UK's young unemployed were interviewed

by the town's veteran bosses.

We have a wool shop where we sell wool, cottons, et cetera.

Cotton like you use for your ears? Like cotton buds?

No, knitting cotton, where you knit. Knit.

-Oh, I'm so thick!

-Yeah...

From this group, 11 were hand-picked

to work across nine local businesses.

From a fish stall...

-Wow!

-See, that's where you hold him by his back.

..to the local butcher's.

My little mate, as you can see,

there are the hairs on his chinny, chin, chin.

The older generation in Christchurch are used to the quiet life.

But the town is about to be transformed.

# Eat, sleep, rave, repeat... #

Everyone needs a village idiot, don't they?

Whoa!

I nearly broke a nail as well!

-HE BURPS

-Pardon me.

-BOTH:

-Eeeee!

Unfortunately, I'm a bit like blow jobs.

You can either spit me or swallow me, either way I'm always going to be in your mouth.

The bosses will review the trainees' work with weekly appraisals.

Don't stop!

Other people's perceptions.

Lots of young people don't actually know how to speak to people.

Got to try everything once though, haven't you, in life?

-What did you say?

-That will not do!

They'll be assessed on time keeping...

This happened yesterday and I told her it wasn't going to happen again

-and it's happened again.

-..attitude...

The guy's a prick. He's a full-on dickhead.

..and their behaviour.

You said, "Thank you, you sexy bitch."

-You can't use that language.

-Sorry. Sorry.

-It's not funny.

No, it's not funny.

For those that succeed, the offer of a full-time job

with their elderly bosses.

-BLEEP

-hate old people.

Some old people absolutely stink.

I can see me getting kicked out soon, yeah, for smacking my boss up.

Will they be sacked?

Do you know what? I can't do this. See you later, man.

..and say goodbye to Christchurch?

Or will this be the start of a new career and a better life?

-Give us a hug.

-Woo!

I really, really want it, man.

And that is an absolute life-changing situation.

For the next eight weeks, the sleepy suburb of Dorset will be home

to our 11 trainees.

They will live in a house together

in the heart of the Christchurch community.

I hope there's loads of cock.

I hope there's loads of hot cock.

19-year-old Benny from Norfolk has been unemployed for nearly a year.

Hi, sexy. Can we put our stuff in your boot?

He's arrived in Christchurch with 20-year-old Deneka from Manchester.

Driving through here, there's no clubs.

I ain't seen no hot black men.

I ain't seen anyone hot at all.

Not at all.

My name's Benny. I'm from Norfolk.

I'm vibrant, very unique and a bit weird.

You either really, really love me and find me endearing

and nice to be around, or you just... you can't tolerate me.

I'm that sort of personality, I'm not going to be anything else

because that's who I am.

I've got to get up with her. No, you can get her.

I've not been sacked, I've had "We have to let you go." Is that being sacked?

Being unemployed, it has completely affected me.

I've found it almost quite depressing.

I'm so excited to get in there.

I think it's going to be such a fun experience.

Sometimes it's not about genuinely doing what you want,

it's doing what you need... and I need a new opportunity.

Thank you, Mr Taxi Man, you sexy bitch.

I don't want no midnight visiting, thank you.

DENEKA LAUGHS

Each trainee has been allocated a position

at one of nine local businesses,

based on their interests and experience.

They've all been left a letter from their new boss.

"For the next eight weeks, you will be working

-"with my team in outdoor plants."

-Coffee shop.

"We are a long-established firm of solicitors in Christchurch."

Wool specialists. OK.

Chartered accountants and tax advisors - good lot.

"When working in a party store" - party store?

"Your normal hours of work will be Monday to Friday."

Fucking hell! "9am to till 6.

"We look forward to you joining us and being part of our team."

Yeah, I can't fucking wait(!) Oh...

"Dear Deneka, I am pleased to invite you to my salon

"for eight weeks' work experience. Best wishes, Irene."

Hair dressing, so I'm quite happy about that.

When I was nine, I got put into care.

I used to cause some hassle in that house.

I used to be a proper, proper, proper bad shit.

The idea of living with an old population is probably good

cos it's more quiet.

You probably wouldn't get into as much trouble as you do

when you're in a main city with, like, loads of young people.

When I'm at home, I literally do nothing, apart from being with

my friends and you can't be with your friends every day, you need a job.

I'd like to prove to other people that even if you don't have grades, you can still get a job.

But it's just finding a job first.

26-year-old Christian from Bolton has been unemployed for five months.

-ALL: Hello.

-Hiya.

One thing he does work on is his body,

and he could be the answer to Benny's prayers.

If you was gay, I so would. I'm just putting it out there

so that everyone knows,

if you was gay, I definitely would fuck you.

Go on, show us your tattoos.

-I can't show you all these down here...

-Why? I'll show you mine.

Cor, look at his body. Sorry. Fucking hell.

Can you take your top off, so we can see the chest ones as well?

Please. Go on. Just a pick peek.

Come on, show us your chest just quickly.

Just give us a quick flash.

19-year-old self-proclaimed Nottingham bad boy Adam

arrives with Remus, a wannabe DJ from Leicester.

Nine months ago,

Adam was made redundant from his job cleaning coaches.

"Hello, Adam, we are delighted to tell you that you will be

"joining our team at Mudeford Ferry."

When I was young, I was a big troublemaker.

I was always in trouble with the police.

I stole a lot of money off my mum.

So I just ended up moving out, I've had enough,

I just didn't want to be around all them sort of people any more.

Mayonnaise and fried egg sandwiches. His favourites.

'I've been unemployed now for about nine months.'

Are we saying grace? Grace?

I'm hoping this experience is going to let me walk straight into a job.

I need more than that.

'Having a job means the world to me.'

It keeps you happy. When I'm working, I'm just happy.

I want to be when I'm older, like, have my own businesses.

I want a nice big family, nice big house

and everything you possibly could have in life.

Like, just live your dream.

Last to arrive is 28-year-old Carl from Warrington.

A butcher. Oh, that's exciting. It's something that I've, erm,

I've never thought about being a butcher in my life.

I find it really hard to find work, because I've got a criminal record.

I got a job in a bank, was a bit inundated by bills

and I was stressed, so I just helped myself to £1,000.

It was a bad choice, a bad decision, and I regret that wholly.

So if I was an employer, I wouldn't touch me with a barge pole.

I come from a working class background,

if you don't work and you're working class, I mean, what are you, then?

Underclass?

So this is a perfect opportunity to get my life back on track

and make myself proud more than anything.

That's what needs to be done.

-Anybody want to guess what I am?

-Dolehead?

Full-time...

butcher.

Why have we got the glamorous jobs?

I know, man. That's so, like, that's so cool.

So you'll be bringing home the bacon, then.

LAUGHTER

Spirits are high, but with new jobs starting tomorrow,

they all force themselves to have an early night.

It's the crack of dawn in Christchurch,

-and first out of bed is Carl.

-Morning.

Sacked from his last job at a call centre three months ago,

he's determined to make a good first impression today.

Nice and early.

Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed left me years ago, I'm afraid.

For the next eight weeks, he'll be working at FA Lambe and Son,

a family butcher's that's been in Christchurch since the '60s.

If Carl wants a full-time job at the end of it, he's going

to have to get used to waking up at 5am six days a week.

I've had a few jobs when I've been up at the crack of dawn.

I used to be a milk lad when I was, er, a wee nipper,

and I was a paper boy before that.

It's not too different.

Charming.

I was thinking last night, butcher's, job satisfaction - low.

You know, chance of chopping your finger off - high.

Happy days(!)

Carl is desperate to build a career and learn a trade.

But it's almost impossible with a criminal record.

Up with the larks.

Giving him a second chance will be 65-year-old master butcher

Robin Lambe.

It's not an easy job, it's hard, it's long.

You're on your feet all day.

All the butchers that I know are all getting old now and we're not

going to be here forever, and I feel that this trade needs new blood.

But finding willing apprentices has proven to be difficult.

It's when you turn round and say, "Right, we start at 6.30,

"we finish at half past four,"

and they say, "Oh, all right, I can't get up at that time in the morning."

Robin has agreed to mentor Carl,

regardless of what he's done in the past.

But he will be keeping a very close eye on him.

I won't tolerate scruffiness, coming in smelling of booze,

theft and bad time keeping on a regular basis.

If I don't do something very quick, it's going to be too late

and I'm going to be stuck in a dead-end job that I don't like

and it's just...it's quite a daunting thought.

So I really need this job. I need it.

I need it massive. I need it big time.

-Morning.

-Good morning.

-You all right?

-I'm all right. You all right?

-Oh, good news. Yeah.

-Lovely to meet you.

-Good man. Robin, er, Lambe?

-Robin Lambe, yes.

The right name for a butcher, but it's got an E on the end.

-It's not a job description, is it? No?

-No.

Right, good news.

-Right, let's get cracking then.

-Super.

The most important job - can you make tea?

Yes! I'm very good at making tea.

That's round the corner then. That's round the corner.

I love making tea!

These are going to be your knives.

-That's a machete, that, is it?

-No.

-Is it not?

-No. A machete's a bit bigger than that.

-Oh, yeah.

He seems very keen, actually. I'm quite impressed with him.

-Do I look the part?

-Right, you look the part, yeah.

You can't beat a nice little red bibby, can you, every now and again?

He seems quite a confident lad.

Whether that's an act or not, only time will tell.

But, yeah, he's a very nice lad.

-Two sugars, Robin?

-Yes, please.

Well, Robin's a sound guy, isn't he? I just hope I get on with the lads

and make an impression with them really on first day, innit?

Black coffee - he has black, don't he?

-No, he has white.

-Oh.

As long as I don't cut any fingers off,

I'm just really scared of doing that.

It's been two hours since Carl started at the butcher's.

ALARM SOUNDS

Oh...

His fellow apprentices are just waking up.

Make sure you wash that bowl, Deneka, I'm just saying.

Listen, I will.

And getting ready for that all-important first day.

I feel a bit weird with you watching me...eating.

Although Benny isn't sure about his work outfit.

Did they give you trousers as well with it?

-No.

-So what did they give you? Just that?

Just this and a jumper.

They should at least have provided you with trousers, that's a pity.

For some, it's the first time they've had a reason to get out of bed in the morning for months

and they're very keen to make a good first impression.

Yeah, first impression is always important.

Definitely going to the hair salon, you can't be going in with some...

really bad hair.

It wouldn't really look good.

I put cocoa butter on my skin every morning, make me feel nice.

I always say, first impressions are really important

because when you first meet someone, you're nervous

and when you're nervous, it's when you're most yourself

and if I'm going to be working with them,

the last thing I want is for them not to like me.

I'm not good with maps.

19-year-old Benny's heading out to work

for the first time in almost a year.

It feels like yesterday that I left high school.

I still act like a child now and I think, "God, Benny you're 19.

"What are you doing, Benny?

"Grow up."

His tendency to speak his mind before he thinks

means he's struggled to keep a job since leaving school.

My dream job would be something to do with theatre.

Singing or acting because they're my main things that I love to do.

Something that's creative and that I can really be expressionate with.

Something that I can bring my own party bag to the party.

For the next eight weeks, Benny will be taking his party bag to work

at Peeks Party Store.

Oh, my God. It's massive.

That's well bigger than I thought.

They sell thousands of products,

from birthday balloons and fancy dress,

to stag do and Halloween decorations.

I'm apprehensive and I'm a little bit...

But then I might end up actually really loving it.

You never know. You've got to give things a chance in life.

Benny will work under the watchful eye

of the 65-year-old chairman, John Peek.

Established in 1946, the business spans three generations

and they pride themselves on their family reputation.

What I'm looking forward to is that the new employee will be

someone who will come with enthusiasm

and works with others well.

-Come on through.

-I'm nervous.

-Don't be nervous.

I wouldn't like to have people that are rude,

only think of themselves, very selfish.

I think those things are difficult to deal with,

especially in a family business because that's not what

our ethos is about.

John wants to meet Benny to tell him about the company

and what he expects.

-The chairman's waiting for you.

-OK.

'This is the perfect opportunity for me'

and I'm going to grab it by the balls, horns

and testicles and pull them.

-Hiya.

-Morning, Benny. I'm John Peek.

-Morning, John. I'm Benny.

Hi. I'm chairman of Peeks.

-Wow.

-We're a family business. You'll see behind me, that's my father.

-He started the business.

-Wow.

Well, if you'd like to sit down. You'll have seen the party store.

-We're known locally for...

-Yeah. I haven't been in there yet.

-I'm very excited to go in, obviously.

-You will be working there.

-You will see a lot more of that before...

-Will I get to dress up in fancy dress?

On certain days, they all get dressed up...

Oh, my God, I'm so excited. Argh!

What time do I finish today?

In the party store, it finishes at six.

Ooh. What, at night?

-Mmm. And there are certain things that are the norm here...

-Yeah.

..and one of those is that we don't swear.

What, no-one swears at all?

I've got a bit of a potty mouth, me.

Don't worry, I will learn. I will learn.

'Benny had confidence and lots of spirit.

'He did say that he had a bit of a potty mouth

'and I think that's one of the areas

'that we might just have to keep an eye on.'

We couldn't have him talking to customers,

either on the phone or in the party store, like that,

let alone other members of staff who wouldn't appreciate it either.

After meeting John, Benny gets the Peek's grand tour.

There's a lot of departments to visit

and new people to impress on his first day.

-This is Mike, our sales director.

-Mike, you all right? I'm Benny.

-This is Benny.

-Nice to meet you, Mike.

-All right?

-I'm good, thank you. What do you do?

-Mike's our sales director.

I catch all the sales for all the national contracts

-and all the stuff we do, yeah.

-Right, do you love that?

-It's good. It's a good firm, yeah.

-Yeah, I don't know if I'd like that.

-No?

-No, I don't think so.

I speak my mind, but I feel safe speaking my mind

because I don't think malicious things.

I'm not a malicious person. I'm a lover, not a hater.

-This is Seb.

-Hello.

-Hi, Seb. Can I call you Sebby?

-You can if you want.

-Seb's been with us just a week now.

-Have you? How are you finding it?

-Yeah, it's all right. It's not bad.

-Do you love it or is it really shit?

-No, I love it.

-Oh, OK then.

-I'm breaking the swear rule already.

-We don't actually swear.

Try and see if you can, while you're here...

-If you can lose that habit, it'd be nice.

-Yeah, I'm sure I will.

Yeah, I'm sure you will.

-We're going into the packing room now.

-Hi, packers.

-They deliver here.

-Yeah.

-The guys unload it here.

-Do I get to drive one of them?

-No, you don't.

-You have to have a certificate.

-I've got one.

-What, a fork-lift truck certificate?

-Yeah, I have honestly.

-Have you?

-Yeah.

-Oh, right.

-Have you got it with you?

-No.

-Then I can't let you have a go on that one, I'm afraid.

So, we've been all round the building.

Have you got any questions or anything you'd like to ask me?

-Can I dress up now?

-You can't dress up.

Only when you're in the party store.

Across Christchurch, the town's young apprentices head out to work

on what they hope will be their first day of a brand-new life.

-Hello. Nice to meet you.

-I'm Caroline. Practice Manager here.

I do know a little bit about fabric, but not wool.

At the end of every week,

their new bosses will review their performance with an appraisal.

If the trainees do well, they could potentially land themselves

a full-time job in eight weeks.

Do badly and this chance of a new life and career could be over.

So, I'll be sitting here, is that right? OK. Good stuff.

While most of the apprentices are looking forward to their new jobs,

-others are a little unsure...

-DIY. This, I don't do DIY.

..especially 22-year-old Remus from Leicester

who's been mentored by fishmonger Russell.

-Whoa!

-That's where you hold him, by his back.

-Whoa!

In this job, do I have to do this?

I expect you will be. All right?

20-year-old Deneka will be spending the next eight weeks

working at the town's oldest hair salon.

When I was at school, I wanted to work with children

or be a hairdresser.

So, in school, they put us into an apprenticeship of hairdressing and childcare.

I didn't pass the hairdressing cos the last week

that I was meant to do some paperwork, some of us didn't attend,

so I didn't pass it cos we didn't go in to do the last bit of paperwork.

Can I have one to Christchurch High Street, please?

'I feel a bit stupid now, but you don't really think of it'

when you're in school cos you're just too busy

fucking around, to be honest.

After squandering the chance of getting an apprenticeship,

Deneka has found it impossible to get a job since leaving school.

To be on Jobseeker's Allowance is really rubbish.

You get £56 a week.

When you live in your own place, it's actually quite hard

cos you're forever borrowing money.

Deneka will be mentored by 64-year-old Irene,

the owner of Jon Terry's hair salon,

not the hairdresser of choice for Chelsea footballers and their wags,

but the over-60s of Christchurch.

Irene's well aware of Deneka's troubled past

and hopes her young apprentice grabs the opportunity with both hands.

I'm quite looking forward to it, really.

I've met so many of them over on the bowling green

and you could see that they're at the end of their tether

looking for a job and that's really sad.

Irene runs an old-fashioned salon with old-fashioned values.

I expect them to be cheerful

and I expect them to look nice and clean and tidy

and as if you care about what you look like.

-Hello.

-Hello. Nice meeting you.

-And you. How are you?

-I'm fine, thank you. Are you?

-Yes, I'm absolutely fine.

-Well, this is the salon. OK?

-Very nice.

Yes, it is. It's a nice, friendly salon.

But if there's anything you don't feel comfortable with,

-you tell us...

-OK.

-..because it's better to say that

than suddenly think to yourself, "Oh, I'll have a go at that."

-Yeah.

-OK?

-Yeah.

-So, how old are you?

-Now?

-Yes.

-I'm 20 now.

-Are you?

-So, it's time you found a proper job, isn't it?

-Yeah.

I'm really glad I've got somebody that wants to be a hairdresser.

-That helps, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

'I like her. She is quite confident,'

but not cocky and I like that.

-You pick it up and you say, "Hello, Jon Terry's." OK?

-Yeah.

It's just useful to answer the phone and stop it ringing

-because there's an awful lot of cold calls and I haven't got time for that.

-OK.

She listens to what you say to her which is...

You're halfway there when they actually listen.

You can see she's listening.

What are you having done today?

-Just a blow dry.

-OK.

Deneka has gotten off to a good start with her mentor,

but isn't so sure about the customers.

SHE WHISPERS: There's lots of old people.

I thought cos it's a hairdresser's, there'd be lots of young people.

There's not.

I could hardly stand up in the week.

-Couldn't you?

-It was absolutely gale force.

When I got home, it wasn't so bad, with being sheltered.

'I'm all right with old people. I think they're cute.'

But sometimes they're a bit, erm, stuck up.

Like they'll push their face up

because they're like, "Young people of this generation."

Irene may be impressed by Deneka,

but there's always room for improvement,

particularly when it comes to appearance.

Do you look at somebody and think,

"Your hair really doesn't look nice"? Yeah.

-That's good.

-I notice my own sometimes.

-Get some straighteners on it.

-We all do that, look at it and think,

"Oh, dear. This isn't a good day."

I am dying to get a hand on her hair

to make her feel she's a hairdresser.

And once you've had your hair done somewhere,

you feel that you've arrived.

I don't even know what colour to describe it as. It looks a bit...

No, I wouldn't like to describe what colour that is either.

We'll sort that out. She won't look like that by Friday.

Once somebody says to you, "I think we'd better sort that hair out,"

you know that they care about what you look like

and they care about you and that's what I want her to feel.

It's not just a job. People care about her being here.

MUSIC: "Trampoline" by Tinie Tempah

Another person who's had a difficult past is 19-year-old Adam.

For the next two months, he'll be swapping

the ghettoes of Nottingham for Mudeford Quay.

When I found out last night about the ferries, I was a bit confused

cos I thought, "I've never done anything like this before."

But feeling all right. I'm happy that I'm finally back in doing

something, instead of being stood around doing nothing

every single day.

Adam left school when he was 14 and is desperate for a fresh start

with a new employer.

The sort of boss I wouldn't like to work for is a guy that's

always bringing sly comments onto you and stuff like that,

trying to say stuff about you. I'd rather work for a boss

that you can have a laugh all the time with.

Yeah, you've got to have serious moments,

but I don't really want to be working for a boss that's

a complete and utter arse.

Adam will be working on the local ferry service

and will be mentored by 56-year-old Paul, the owner and skipper.

I think you can tell by talking to somebody for five minutes

whether they're going to fit in.

If they've been unemployed for a while, the person rocking up

will be keen to do anything, hopefully.

And if they're not, then, erm, we don't want them.

Paul runs three ferry services in the area that all need

to stick to a strict schedule, so good timekeeping is essential.

One thing I won't tolerate is people being late.

We have a ferry to run, we have other activities going on.

If you're not there, then the ferry doesn't run,

so unless you're five minutes early, you're late.

And everybody gets one chance with me.

One yellow card and then that's it. If it happens again, adios.

Thankfully for Adam, he arrives on time for his first shift.

If he can prove himself to be reliable and punctual

over the next eight weeks, there's a chance of a job at the end,

something Adam is desperate for.

-Hello.

-You all right, there, mate?

-Are you Adam?

-I'm Adam, yeah.

-What's your name, boss?

-Nice to meet you. My name's Paul.

Hello, Paul. I'm Adam, me. What we doing?

-We're on a boat then, yeah?

-Did you gather that?

No, I didn't. I thought we was working actually in a port.

-I didn't think we'd be on a boat.

-OK. Well, we run the Mudeford ferry

and we do the ferry service from Mudeford Quay to Mudeford Sandbank

and we'll get you trained up this morning to be crew on here.

The first impressions of the boat, I thought it was a bit too small.

I wouldn't class it as a boat. But if I ever fall out with my boss,

I've got nowhere to bloody run or hide or anything.

I'll have to stand there and put up with him right in front of me.

Nottingham. That's a bit inland, isn't it?

-Right in the main city, I'm from.

-Where's your nearest beach?

-Where's your nearest bit of water?

-I don't even know.

Couldn't even tell you that.

The clock is ticking and there's no time to hang around...

Hiya. Thank you. Ta.

..so Adam will learn all about the job at sea.

Seven adults, one child and five of us.

Can you put that in the box and let go of the ropes?

-Remember to look at me.

-Yep.

He's picking it up very quick.

'I think my boss is all right. He is a bit old, but...'

when he first meets you, I think it's a bit "eurgh".

But I think he'll enjoy having me part of his crew.

If there's no passengers on, you might get to drive, OK?

But it depends. Can you drive a car?

Yeah, I haven't got a licence though.

But I drive mopeds, motorbikes.

Motorbikes. Similar to a motorbike.

At sea, good, clear communication between the crew is vital,

so it's important to iron out problems as soon as they arise.

I'm having a little bit of trouble understanding you,

-believe it or not.

-Really?

I don't know if you're speaking fast or slow or something, but...

..try that bit again.

But Paul's comment has not gone down at all well with Adam.

It is people's own opinion, really. People are from different areas.

We all talk differently. So, if you don't understand me,

you just don't understand me.

He's going to have to put up with it another three weeks, ain't he?

Back on dry land, Carl has got off to a better start

with his mentor Robin.

Bloody hell. You make this look a lot easier, Robin, I tell you that.

He's tried the sausage rolls...

-Sausage rolls.

-Mmmm.

Filling as well, isn't it? Look at the size of that.

..inspected the contents of the fridge...

-Reminds me of somebody, that.

-Not one of your ex-girlfriends, is it?

No comment!

..and learnt about different types of meat...

-That one looks a lot redder. Is there a reason why?

-Yeah.

Well, kidney's darker meat. Kidney's darker.

-That's kidney and that's beef.

-The shame!

Feeling more at ease with his surroundings,

Carl takes the opportunity to get to know his boss a little better.

How long have you been... worked as a butcher, then?

45 years.

45 years.

And you've still not managed to find your, er,

your master apprentice then yet, right?

Not yet, no. I've been waiting for you all this time.

HE LAUGHS

And then I guess I'm dicing that piece I've just cut off?

That piece you've just done up, yes.

I'll cut the first bit for you, so you can see.

Have you had many other apprentices before, and that, Robin?

A long, long while ago I tried one and he was a disaster.

He really was.

We caught him nicking money out of our coats out the back

-and things like that.

-Your coats as well.

Yeah.

Does it bother you that I've got a criminal record?

-No, not at all.

-Well, that's good...

Everybody's different. Everybody makes mistakes.

-They do, don't they?

-You know, so, um...

..you know you've done wrong...

providing you don't do it again.

I'm going to be expecting loyalty, basically.

Er, and you show willing to learn...

Yeah.

..which so far has been very, very good.

There's one thing I will not accept is you coming in here

smelling of booze in the mornings.

-No, no. That's not something to worry about, that.

-No.

So how am I doing with this? Am I...?

-You're doing all right.

-I'm aiming for better than all right though,

so I don't want to be letting the good name of Lambe and Son down.

Priests and nuns there and then next to it you've got doctors and nurses.

Right.

Back at the party store, Benny, who was warned only this morning about

his bad language, is being shown around the shop by manager Roanne.

They're fucking ugly.

I'd rather die than look like that.

Do you not find that nowadays, with Halloween...people dress...

it's more about who can look the sluttiest?

It's just an excuse to act slutty.

You're going to have to watch your language on the shop floor

as well a little bit, all right?

-Oh, yeah, I have been told.

-Sorry, you know, customers around.

He's a real character. Really chatty.

I just hope he works as much as he chats,

which I've had to curb the swearing a little bit.

So we put a selection out from the catalogue and also a selection...

Because he can't, or won't, stop swearing,

Roanne moves Benny to work on a Christmas display

at the back of the shop, well away from the customers.

-Hi, Jo.

-Hi there, all right?

-I don't know if I'm doing it right...

She wants him supervised at all times,

so gets Jo to keep an eye on him.

So the idea is we're actually going to put some trees up as well, um...

-Christmas trees?

-Christmas trees, yes.

And we're going to have to build those from scratch, OK?

I've got the pricing gun.

CHUCKLING

Before the new stock can go on sale

it needs to be carefully priced up for the customers.

So I'll just get a price on those, then you can price

the whole lot and then we can put them out.

-Can I do it in dollars?

-Er, no!

SHE LAUGHS

I think they're worth about £1 so I'm going to put £1.

OK. I can't actually find a price for those

so what we'll do is we'll leave those to one side and we'll just make sure.

-I've been pricing them.

-How do you know what the price is?

-I'm just guessing.

Yeah...we don't guess.

-SHE LAUGHS

-So, we have to take all those prices off.

-How much do you think they're worth?

-Erm, well, they'll be £2 something,

-probably about 2.99.

-No.

-Yes, they will be, yeah.

-£1...

-So, you'll have to take all those prices off now. OK!

-Oh!

-SHE LAUGHS

-We don't guess prices.

Unaware he's being kept at the back and out of harm's way,

people-person Benny jumps at the chance to chat to a passing customer.

-So that's the height of your tree.

-Do you like this tree?

-It's all right.

Do you like this tree?

Yeah. Do you think it looks a bit bare?

Do you want me under your Christmas tree, wrapped up?

Would you?

He'd love it. I think he'd love it.

Oh, so I've got to put a price tag on here?

So, how much is it?

-Right, that is £78 for that one.

-Are you joking?!

-No!

Someone's going to get robbed, it's not worth that.

As the first day draws to a close,

there's mixed feelings from the trainees and their new bosses.

Is that the best brushing up you've ever seen, or what?

I've just enjoyed doing something in the day,

rather than just letting it pass me by, do you know what I mean?

Well, I think it's been a very successful day.

He's willing to learn.

Um, and what he has done he has done quite well.

A little bit slow, as maybe,

but what more would you expect on your first day?

Oh, it feels good to be working again, don't it?

I don't know.

-See yous in a bit, guys.

-Bye.

-Bye.

I do think she'll make an impact.

She goes at everything with a bit of enthusiasm and she's bubbly,

she's nice.

The customers are really old. I've not seen anyone young.

Everyone that's walking past is old.

But there won't be much for me to talk to old people about,

apart from Emmerdale.

SHE LAUGHS

And knitting. I don't know.

See you later.

OK, take care.

I think it's a nice sort of business to work in.

There's a lot to take on board, but I've got a good brain,

I'll be able to take on anything, really.

See you tomorrow morning. Ten o'clock.

Is it ten o'clock tomorrow?

Unless - yeah - unless you are five minutes early, you're late.

'First impressions of Adam,'

he obviously has no knowledge of the sea whatsoever.

So it will be interesting to see how much we can teach him...

er, in the next few weeks.

-Bye, everyone.

-Bye.

You're supposed to all wave and say "bye". Rude.

It's quite nice to be in a workplace where everyone's really nice. I hope they just take to me well.

I hope they don't think that I'm just all jokes, because I'm not.

I've got a serious side as well and I plan to use that here.

Benny's first day has been, er, a bit traumatic.

He has not managed to, um, keep his potty mouth under control.

I never know which way to put these on.

I always look like a dick.

The sort of language that you might, er, expect to hear in a school playground

and it's important that Benny realises this is...

a workplace.

-Deneka!

-Hi.

-How was your first day at work?

Great. I'm getting my hair done on Wednesday. I can't complain.

It was all right.

There's a few old people, but, hey, welcome to Christchurch!

Back at home, the apprentices let off a bit of steam

about their grey-haired bosses.

Especially Adam,

who's still fuming from being told he couldn't be understood.

Got on the boat, yeah, the guy turned round, I was stood there

talking to him and he was like, "I don't understand you." I was stood there. I was confused.

Staring at him thinking, "Are you really being serious, innit?

"Are you really just trying to say that you don't understand me?"

It's that I could have said that to him, innit?

The man tried to say I was mumbling. Oh. Oh.

-MUMBLING:

-You know what I mean?

LAUGHTER

Just to bug him for the rest of the day.

MUSIC: "It's My Party" by Jessie J

# You're stuck in the playground

# But I'm a grown woman now... #

The trainees will all receive minimum wage.

And with the promise of a pay packet at the end of the week,

they're keen to check out the local Christchurch nightlife.

After all, if they're successful and offered full-time jobs,

this town will become their permanent home.

It's nice. Nice scenery. I'm enjoying it down here. I don't even want to go back, never.

The same. I just don't want to go back to Salford.

I said, if I get offered a job, yeah I'll take it.

I have like worry for certain people that I'm going to offend them

or they don't get my sense of humour, my personality. Know what I mean?

I'm quite reserved, I'm in my mind like -

"Can I say that. Is that going to come out wrong?"

But because I'm so outspoken and I've got no filter, it just comes out naturally.

It's my biggest fault, but it's also one of my biggest qualities.

CHATTER

I personally have enjoyed meeting you all and may we all have

a good experience and, you know, are successful in our new jobs.

CHEERING

# So while you sit and watch me

# I keep dancing alone

# Da-dancing alone. #

ALARMS BLARE

Oh...

The morning after the big night out and the trainees are up

and on the move.

-What time did you go to bed last night?

-About five.

-Really?

-Yeah.

HE SIGHS

Carl has already been at work for nearly two hours.

Tired is not the word today. Goosed.

The main thing Rob said to me, he said,

"I'm not fussed what you do, really," he said.

"Just don't come in here drunk, stinking of ale."

So, hopefully I've put enough aftershave on,

I've masked the smell of, er, lager.

Only another seven hours to go. Second coffee in!

Adam's arrived at work on time, but is feeling a little worse for wear.

Take it right the way up to the top. There we go.

At least mentor Paul doesn't know about last night's antics.

I think we got back at, like, five o'clock in the morning.

Um, then we sat in the house and just had a drink there.

He does now.

Allegedly, Adam's been out till, er, five in the morning.

Um, I'm not quite sure why he told us.

Maybe he's boasting.

Um, not impressed, but let's see how he gets on during the day.

We'll just work him a bit harder, just to work off his hangover.

Right, how we doing on the list?

The first job is to complete a safety inspection, to check

everything is functioning properly, with the boat and the crew.

I understand the alcohol and drugs policy.

Yeah.

Certainly a nice time to say that, innit?

Right, yeah, don't drink too much.

-We have sent people home...

-Yeah.

..who we don't think are capable...

See, I'm all right. I still do what I have to do with it.

I didn't say you couldn't.

I'm just telling you that we have sent people home before. OK.

Paul may not think being hung over at work is funny,

but he's happy to still make a crack or two at Adam's expense.

You see the pipe going out the back.

"Ability to give clear reassuring orders in English."

Well, that's not my fault, innit. That's how I speak.

You get me, that's how I speak. People just have to put up with it.

One of the notes on the clipboard was saying like I've got

to like learn how to speak proper English, innit, and the man tried

to turn round to me and was... "Oh, well, you can't really,

"I can't really tick that box for you, cos you can't speak English."

And I'm - "What, are you trying to call me a foreigner?"

It's...I'm stupid. He is a bit of an arse.

But, obviously, like everybody has dickhead bosses, you get me.

So, if push comes to shove, I'll just...he will be the man overboard, you get me!

Adam today was probably... a little bit more cheeky.

He possibly had less than two hours' sleep

which, erm, you can't really do a full day's proper work like that.

I'll monitor the situation...

everybody gets one chance with me, maybe he's just had his.

Shall we take it for a drive, yeah?

HE CHUCKLES

SHIP HORN BLARES

Um, so first of all I need you to pass me those boxes,

-because I can't leave it on the shelf like that.

-I know, yeah.

Over at the party store, potty-mouthed Benny has managed

to get through a whole morning without swearing.

-So far, anyway.

-Of course, yeah.

-Yeah?

-Put it in the shop and then they sell it in bulk.

Yeah. Cool, you know everything already.

-See I'm so intelligent.

-What am I doing here?

-I'm joking. I love the shop.

I love the fancy dress element of it.

I know nearly everyone's names already

and I think I'm doing quite well. I'm taking things in quite quickly.

Despite a slight improvement in his behaviour, there's still

a way to go before Benny can be completely trusted and left alone.

Today he's working alongside shop assistant Emily.

-And then that's...

-That's the quantity.

-That is, yeah, yeah.

-Right.

So, there you go. You're picking it up pretty quick.

Oh, I thought I was fucking shit at it!

You have to watch how much you swear on the shop floor.

-Just in case there's a customer around, it's not, doesn't look good.

-Sorry, bitch.

LAUGHTER

Obviously, I slip up with my swearing.

I swear quite a bit, but I'm quite a loud, bubbly character.

I hope that doesn't rub off them the wrong way.

The swearing, obviously, is just not acceptable

because there is...we do serve a lot of older people in the shop.

-I think older people swear more than younger people.

-Some older people.

Obviously not every older person is going to be super offended by it.

Some old people absolute stink like shit and I don't moan about that,

so they shouldn't really moan about me swearing.

Only saying, I like older people more than younger people.

-I think they're nicer.

-Yeah.

And they've got morals - unlike me. I have really got morals.

-No.

-I don't swallow. I've got morals.

SHE LAUGHS

I'm joking!

Unfortunately I'm a bit like blow jobs.

You either spit or swallow. So...

HE CHUCKLES ..you can either spit me or swallow me,

either way I'm always going to be in your mouth.

-Can you not do that for me, please?

-What?

You have to go and do some work. Cos you're wasting things.

HE CHUCKLES

-Emily, you do it as well.

-Yeah... but look what you're wasting.

-I'll give the 3p that I just used.

-OK, then.

The end-of-week appraisals for all of the trainees are fast approaching.

Ow, it's hurt my eye!

They could get a pat on the back or a slap on the wrists and sacked.

£2.99 for them?!

John might not be around to keep an eye on Benny

but that doesn't mean he isn't getting

regular updates from his staff.

I've got reports from various managers

who are saying that his language is very much unacceptable.

# Check this motherfucker out... #

I can't have him talking to staff in the way he is

and I can't have him talking to customers with bad language.

For all the trainees, the chance of a full-time job is on the cards

if they can manage to impress their bosses.

Can we have naps on our break?

-Naps?

-Yeah.

Well, you can have a nap,

as long as you wake up in time to go back to work.

However, the way that Benny is going he may not even make it

through the first week.

Over at Jon Terry's hair salon, Deneka is keen

to stay in her boss's good books and has let Irene loose on her hair.

Even though she's more used to styling grey-haired OAPs

Irene is confident that 20-year-old Deneka from inner-city Manchester

will be happy with her new look.

'It's very hard hair to do, it's very dry and there's loads of it,

'but I just want it to look like soft hair'

that's been brushed and groomed

and she's not gone out clubbing for the night.

I'm going to blow dry it into a shape and give it a bit of movement

so it won't look wiggy.

Irene's been working on Daneka's new hairdo for well over two hours now,

but she's starting to sense

that something's up with her newest customer.

'She is quiet today. I don't know whether something's bothering her.'

I don't know. I have asked her but she says she's OK, so...

I can't quite nail it.

I have a feeling by tomorrow she'll have tied it back up again

but you just have to go with the flow, don't you?

She looks like Whitney Houston.

She DOES look like Whitney Houston, I was going to say that. Just like her.

That looks really nice, and it looks like hair. Are you pleased with it?

-Are you?

-Mm-hmm.

-Is that the truth?

You look like a different person now.

Eventually Daneka's freed from the chair

and heads straight for the exit.

-Ciao for now.

-Bye.

-See you in the morning!

-Bye!

-Bye.

So what does she really think?

'I was just thinking, "What's she doing to my hair?"'

She's like, "You like it?" I was like...

-But really, I wanted to say, "No, you fucking

-BLEEP!"

But I couldn't be nasty cos she's lovely

but this cut's not so lovely. No.

# Are you joking? Must be joking

# You ain't laughing I ain't smoking

# Must be crazy if you think that we can start again

# No, no, no, no, no

# No, no, no, no, no, no

# Hit-hit-hit the road, jack, jack. #

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Let me see your hair.

-No, I don't like it.

-Why?

-Daneka, come here.

-No.

Absolutely wack out of its brains.

She has absolutely mashed it up.

I hate it, I absolutely hate it. There's nothing to do to it.

While Daneka is dealing with her hair, Adam is downstairs

letting off some steam about his boss to Renee and Glenn.

My boss, yeah, he's on the edge of me smacking him up, innit.

I swear to God, yeah, I can see me getting kicked out soon

for smacking my boss up. He tries to talk to me like I'm a prick, innit.

He'll turn round to me, like,

"I don't understand what you're saying."

I'll be like, "What do you mean?" He was just like, "You talk funny."

You do talk pretty funny, man.

-RENEE LAUGHS

-Are you being serious?

Yeah, what you got to remember is that with our generation and theirs

there's like at least 20 years' age difference

and the way they would speak from when they were younger

is a lot different from how we speak to adults.

And at the end of the day, you've to remember that

we've got to give respect where respect is due

and as much as they may be chatting crap, you've got to listen to them

and respect them, because they have life experience.

I know exactly what you're saying, man, but it's just hard, innit,

like the way he's acting with me, it's hard, man.

It's just wrecking me out. It's doing my head in, man.

MUSIC: "5am" by Katy B

# Ooh, I need somebody to calm me down

# But when the sun comes up it won't be long

# I need some loving like Valium

# I need some loving like... #

It's the end of the week in Christchurch.

And before she leaves for work,

Daneka's sorting out her new haircut.

I don't think fucking Jesus can help this.

Today most of the apprentices will have their first appraisal.

As usual, Carl has been at work for two hours

before the others have even left the house. He hasn't been late once

and hopes that will be a big tick for his weekly appraisal.

I am absolutely shattered today

and I've not got the Friday feeling one iota, as I'm up in the morning

at half past five as normal,

cos I'm in tomorrow at 6.30.

Back at the house,

one apprentice who's definitely not getting that Friday feeling is Adam.

He's ill.

Man, today I absolutely feel like crap.

As soon as I woke up, I was sick.

HE COUGHS AND GROANS

Only problem is, he hasn't let his boss know yet.

'Adam's still not here. It's ten past nine.'

We don't know why. No phone call. We don't, er, know where he is.

I need to get hold of a doctor,

just to make sure I ain't got a bug in me.

And obviously I'm going to have to call my boss and let him know

I'm either going to be late or I won't be coming in today

because I'm ill, but he should be understanding with that.

You can't expect somebody to come and work if they're, like, ill

and keep being sick, can you?

PHONE RINGS

Mudeford Ferry.

Hello, Paul, it's Adam.

Hi, Adam.

Basically, I've woke up and I've started being sick.

So I'm going to go to my doctor's,

make sure I ain't got, like, a bug or anything.

Yeah, I didn't quite catch all that.

Do you think you could have phoned me earlier to tell me,

because it's twenty past nine now?

Yeah. Um, should I have phoned you earlier?

I've been trying to get your number, mate.

Give us a ring when you know anything.

-I will. I'll give you a call straightaway, mate.

-OK, Adam.

-Bye.

Prick, innit.

Bullshit.

He's a bit on thin ice at the moment.

Let's see what happens when he eventually arrives. If he does.

What an arse, mate. He didn't even understand me.

"Can you say that again?" See what I mean?

On the phone as well, you don't even understand me, innit.

Like, that's just rudeness, mate,

you're on a conversation for a phone call.

Pure, full-on rudeness, innit.

Adam's relationship with his boss has reached a new low.

But his sickie means he's managed to swerve today's appraisal.

It's a bit lonely doing this by myself.

Across Christchurch, the other trainees make their way to work

and their first end-of-week performance reviews.

Daneka's completely restyled her hair, but has a story ready

so she doesn't offend her mentor Irene.

I'm just going to say, "Oh, um, it got wet

"and I had to straighten it again."

That's the plan.

Benny, meanwhile is oblivious his appraisal today could see him sacked

for his bad language and inappropriate behaviour.

No, I'm feeling positive, feeling good.

I didn't sleep well again, but it's because I'm adjusting,

but, yeah I'm feeling good today. Let's go in.

-Do you want to come through and have a chat?

-Yeah.

-See how you got on this week.

-No problem.

Each mentor will give a weekly assessment

of their new employee's work.

-Would you like anything doing to them?

-No, leave them as they are.

Yeah, OK, no problem.

Some of the apprentices have got off to a good start,

with glowing reports.

I mean, that's an absolute excellent feedback from the first week,

which I've got to say is quite impressive.

And you need two balls of this,

to be able to do that style,

that, um, that pattern.

That's very good, Renee. Absolutely.

Well, Remus, end of first week, you've done really well.

Pleasure doing business!

Right, Daneka, how have you found this week?

-Interesting.

-Have you?

Yeah, because it's been, like, practical and everything,

-so it's been more hands-on.

-Has it?

-Mm-hmm.

-Is there anything you haven't enjoyed?

-No.

-No?

-No, not really.

'She's no trouble. She isn't any trouble.'

Believe you me, I'm not going home

this weekend thinking, "God, what have I done?" I'm not.

-I think you've done very well this week.

-Really?

The only thing is, the next thing it will be next week...

..is seeing if you can remember what you've done this week.

I'm not going to lie to you, Robin.

There's a good chance I will forget some stuff.

You know, I'm not over-confident. But I really like it.

I mean, I'm getting used to the early starts.

It's a man's job, innit? Do you know what I mean?

Even though I'm wearing a pinny! Or an apron, as you call it.

With a positive appraisal under his belt,

Carl is feeling good about work again

and getting his life back on track.

Feeling better about myself, got a bit of money in my pocket

so I can look forward to the weekend rather than dreading it,

and I might treat myself to some new threads at the weekend as well,

so all the stuff like that

are really making the experience all worthwhile.

The week might be ending well for Carl,

but things aren't looking as positive over at the party store.

-Hiya, Jackie!

-How are you today?

-I'm good, thanks, babe. How are you?

-Can you come through to see John in the boardroom?

-Oh, really?

-He'd like to see you just for a few minutes.

-Oh!

Benny's inappropriate behaviour and swearing throughout the week

means his job is on the line.

-Hi, Mr John.

-Hi, Benny. Come on in.

-How are you?

-Come and sit down.

-How are you this morning?

-Sit down. I'm fine, thank you.

-Good.

I've asked you to come here because we spoke about language.

-I've asked you not to do it.

-Yeah.

And very soon after that meeting, you have actually used bad language.

Along with the language was also

Phil, who brought a tree to you. You said, "Thank you, you sexy bitch."

You can't use that language.

HE GIGGLES

-Sorry.

-It's not funny.

-No, it's not funny.

-He's a supervisor.

-Yeah, absolutely.

-He was doing something to help you.

And, "Thank you, Phil" would have done.

-Yeah.

-And he'd have been happy.

Our customers do not want to hear that language.

I haven't actually sworn in front of a customer, though.

No, but the one thing that I heard that you were saying to a customer

was, "Would you like me underneath your Christmas tree?"

Now, because of your language, I can't let you be on the shop floor

or talking to customers on the phone.

So what we need to do is, I'm going to move you into the packing area

and I want you to prove to me

that you can keep your language under control.

When I'm satisfied that you are,

then you can come back onto the front.

If you do it again, then that's stupid,

and if you do it again after that, then it's no, no future. It's out.

-Yeah.

-So that is how important this is to me.

Benny's just about made it through the first week

without being sent home, but with a black mark already next to his name,

he's starting to question whether this job is for him.

I haven't sworn at anyone. I haven't said, "Oh, you fucker",

or "You're a twat", or the C-U-N-T word.

I've just used words like sexy that are jokey and stuff

'and a little bit funny. But maybe the staff can't take banter.

'Oh, well, I just won't talk to them. Like, sorry,'

I won't. If they can't take me for who I am, I'm not going to change.

Is Jo in here?

-Hello.

-Hiya. Where's Jo? Where's Jo?

She was out on the shop floor, with Nick.

I'm not allowed out there.

I feel a bit shit really and I want to go home.

'I just feel really like people have just spoke about me behind my back

'and I think they're all talking about me.

'My whole entire life, like,'

every single fucking thing I do, not just work, I just...

'I get knocked down or pushed around a little bit

'and I find it really hard.

'I get a little bit lost, that's all.'

Oh, I really miss my mum.

Oh...

Payday celebrations claim casualties

when Carl oversleeps and is five hours late for work.

Oh, shit.

And Robin is not a happy butcher.

Hello, Robin. I'm really, really sorry.

I've literally just woken up about ten minutes ago.

Stormy waters on the ferry reach gale force for Adam.

Right, you're on a yellow card.

For being, like, five, ten minutes late?

Absolutely bloody right.

The guy's a prick. He's a full-on dickhead.

Nobody would want to come into this place and work for him.

The guy's an idiot.

And as the pressures of work pile up...

Do you know what? I can't do this.

See you later, man. I can't take this shit.

..it's the end of the line for some of the trainees.