Nations UK's Best Part-Time Band

This programme contains strong language

Come on! It's UK's Best Part-Time Band. Hello!

'I'm Rhod Gilbert, stand-up comedian.'

I've had a radio show for ten years and people send me music

all the time. Some of it is absolutely fantastic.

It's got me wondering just how much undiscovered talent

there is out there.

There are thousands of part-time bands in the UK.

From barristers to bakers, dustmen to doctors, skiffling, punking,

rocking and funking every week in pubs and clubs

up and down the country to escape the nine-to-five grind.

What possesses somebody my age to continue being in a band?

It's definitely not for the money or the glory.

The BBC have hooked up with this ropey, old van and I'm off on tour.

I've rounded up three musical juggernauts to help.

Supercool Soul II Soul legend Jazzie B.

-Buongiorno.

-Jazzie. How you doing, fella?

Beardy Manchester music icon Peter Hook.

There was some real weirdos in that station.

-Was there?

-Yeah, I felt perfectly at home.

And the Fresh Prince of lip hair, Ultravox front man, Midge Ure.

Oh, dear!

'But this is no run-of-the-mill talent show.'

There is no prize. No Christmas number ones, no recording contract.

There is shit all. LAUGHTER

Like musical truffling pigs,

we're going to sniff out the working men and women who play music for the

sheer bloody love of it.

Music is something that really soothes the soul.

Each legend will pick their top two bands...

I just felt like an idiot. A stupid, inane grin on my face.

..who will battle it out at a grand final in Manchester...

Unfortunately, you've got to decide which are your favourites now.

..where one will be crowned the UK's best part-time band.

This week, my ropey tour bus is taking me on an epic 700-mile

Celtic funfest to Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales.

Joining me is Midge Ure, who's been in his fair share of bands.

Best known as the front man of Ultravox...

# We walked in the cold air... #

He also played guitar with the Rich Kids and Thin Lizzy.

Despite being born with a debilitating moustache,

Midge co-wrote and produced the second-biggest selling single

of all time, Do They Know It's Christmas?

HORN HONKS

-Hey.

-Midge Ure!

-How you doing?

Midge Ure from Ultravox!

-Oh, this is going to be fun.

-Aw, I'm going to have to go up on the kerb.

LOUD SCRAPING AND CREAKING

I'm sorry to say, Mr Gilbert, you have failed your test.

THEY LAUGH

So, Midge, 1,200 bands have entered this.

That's a lot of bands!

We're going to see them all this week!

No, we're not, we're going to see as many as we can cram in.

At the end of the week, you're going to choose your five favourites

to go on and do a gig in Belfast.

That's going to be scary stuff for some of these guys.

Performing in a big club can be quite daunting.

The ones who aren't maybe as capable might just crumble.

They may well crumble before that.

Midge is just going to wander in,

in the middle of their rehearsals and gigs.

'My driving went to shit the moment he got in the van.'

-Down there?

-No, you can't go down there either.

-Oh, for fuck...

-You'll have to pull in there and reverse

-and go back the way we came.

-Oh, for fuck, fucking sake.

Come on, this is good practice for you.

Every time I get in this van...

You're looking for that coherence.

You're looking for that indefinable something,

you know, that when they start playing you feel something,

kind of, build. People are passionate about what they do

and I presume if you're working all week to make enough money

to afford to be able to go out and play music,

you better be good at it.

We're going to Edinburgh to see a ska band.

-They're called Bombskare.

-Bombskare?

-A ska band.

-Is that a Scottish thing?

-A Scottish ska band.

Is that a big Scottish thing?

-McReggae. McReggae's big.

-McReggae!

I know less about Scottish reggae

than a 92-year-old Bulgarian sheep farmer.

What makes a good ska?

What are we looking out for when we watch a ska band?

Well, I suppose, from the 2 Tone days it was...

There was a look about it, there was a vibrancy about it.

It was real bouncy, tight playing.

I'm looking for something that's a bit of joy.

# Oh-ay-oh...

# Gold crocodiles

# They snap their teeth on your cigarette

# Foreign types with their hookah pipes say

# Ay-oh, ay-oh

# Ay-oh, ay-oh

# Walk like an Egyptian... #

When he's not walking like an Egyptian,

Scott, Bombskare's lead guitarist, can be found delivering meat...

like a Scotsman.

Mysterious meats. I don't know what that is.

Klingon burgers.

It's all pretty glamorous.

I used to do a lot of crew work and techie work but I just had to stop

doing it because it was interfering with the band.

I had to take something a little bit more regular,

Monday to Friday. This is it.

Scott might love delivering his meat but his dedication to the band

means Bombskare always comes first.

I changed jobs and I took a pay cut to make the band work.

The band have been part of Scott's life for almost 20 years.

It's definitely a labour of love.

If it was all about making some financial gain, or to get famous,

we would have given up ages ago, you'd have stopped doing that.

When lead singer Andy isn't hitting the high notes with the band,

he's doing other high stuff, as an industrial climber.

While bassist Mandy wrestles real-life mannequins

for a living as a visual merchandiser.

People come up to us and gigs and say, "My 90-year-old granny

"was just dancing.

"She hasn't moved in 30 years."

# Walk like an Egyptian... #

We entered this competition

because that's describing us exactly, just gigging all the time,

pushing what's possible as a part-time band.

Fantastic!

When's the next gig?

Stupidly tight.

You obviously rehearse far too much.

-It was great.

-How many are you? Two, four...

Nine of you. You're obviously a band that don't want to make money!

THEY LAUGH

-I loved that. It was amazing energy.

-Yeah, it was great.

-That dancing!

You exude energy.

You obviously just love doing what you're doing,

cos you look at some bands and you get the angst look of the singer...

Ultravox, for example.

Ultravox is more...

LAUGHTER

You stick out a bit on this...

How did you get involved in this?

I pretty much begged him to play a gig. "I'll do it, I'll do it,"

e-mailing Scott, "I'll do it, have you got any gigs?"

As I said before, the tightness of the band, I mean, it's fantastic.

All the syncopated stops, and all of that stuff, it's just really vibey.

That stuff doesn't come overnight.

I can see it when you're playing, you'd do this for nothing.

We do!

'We're off to a good start and Midge is clearly impressed.'

Ridiculously infectious.

Stupid smiles.

I just felt like an idiot, a village idiot, standing there grinning.

Yeah, you look at each person in turn and they're all doing something

different but they're all together, each character is coming through.

And what they did with the cover version,

I think is a mark of the band.

-The Bangles, Walk Like An Egyptian.

-Not a ska number at all.

Not a ska number at all. They put their own mark on the thing,

-which is really difficult to do.

-Yeah.

-Scottish ska is where it is.

One band down and Midge and I are taking the high road

to his hometown, Glasgow, to see our next act.

So, Midge-aroo, we're going to see a blues band.

-Oh, good!

-Are you a blues fan?

I am, although my subsequent music doesn't really show it.

I learned my first guitar licks

copying Eric Clapton and Peter Green.

For window cleaner and GT's Boos' frontman, Greig Taylor,

singing the blues squeegees his troubles away.

Blues music, for me, is the biggest release.

When I was younger, life for me was a bit up and down.

After a spell in prison,

music played a big part in getting Greig back on track.

Cleaning windows is not what I want to be doing,

but it puts food on the table.

Good old Scottish delicacy.

Fish and chips.

But the flexible job has allowed Greig

to bring his daughters up single-handed.

Whenever he got the chance to, he would sing.

He loves being in the band.

Having devoted the last 10 or 11 years of my life to bringing up

my children, to be able to head off to a band practice,

it's just the most amazing feeling.

# Every time I see your face

# Wanna cry, cry, cry... #

I can channel any of my problems, release it, through my music.

# Cos you're my baby girl... #

Twice a week, band-mates builder John, Fireman Sam,

sorry, Alan, and Postman Pat, sorry, David, do just that.

# It's been such a lonely road

# But I'm coming home

# Again

# Mmm

# Mmm... #

-Very good.

-Thank you very much.

-It took me back to my Thin Lizzy days.

-When did you start, then, Greig?

-I started singing five years ago.

Nothing before that?

Nothing except singing in the shower or, I love to go...

I was on holiday with my daughters, and I would have to find somewhere

that we could go up and sing. That developed on to...

We went to an open mic. John was there, looking for a singer.

-Once we hooked up it was...

-HE CLICKS HIS FINGERS

Debate rages up and down the country about, what is blues?

For me, it's that feeling and passion and honesty.

Lyrics-wise, it's me able to get my story across, you know?

There's nothing wrong with writing a commercialised song

that's rooted in the blues.

Look at early Fleetwood Mac. Beautifully written songs.

-One of the greats.

-But still had that great blues essence.

You're doing gigs at weekends when you get the opportunity?

At the moment, we're getting as many gigs as we can.

Two small tours to the Netherlands last year.

We got a great reception over there.

-..to Holland, they drove the van over.

-Your mum and dad?

-Were the roadies. They drove the van.

-They drove the fan...

-Oh, you flew?

-We flew.

Never stop being a parent, do you? You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Thanks for having us. Thanks for your time.

Great to meet you guys.

Good luck with it. Good luck.

-Well, well, well, well, well.

-Yes, I know.

I thought they were great. And, as the singer's saying,

he's pulling from his own life experiences,

exercising all those ghosts he's got inside.

There's no better format than music, especially blues, to do that.

It's what blues is all about.

They were great, technically, weren't they? Really precise.

Great guitar player. It's a really difficult thing to pull off,

to play those really slow, bluesy things

and still have all that empty space.

-Greig, he wants it.

-As they say in Glasgow,

he would shove his granny off a bus to get it!

# You've got your spell on me, baby... #

As we're in Midge's hometown,

he wants to show me one of his regular haunts.

In case he wants to throw a pensioner off our tour bus,

I insist we go on foot.

This is a bit like you taking me to joke shop,

I'm going to take you to this music shop I always go to.

I like that '80s...

That?! No...

That's a paddle.

This... I did my little stint with Thin Lizzy,

I went out to replace Gary Moore in an American tour.

I'd never been to America before and I got a phone call from Phil Lynott

one night, I was in the studio, finishing off the Visage album...

-As you do.

-As you do.

I thought, "It's a long way to America.

"I'll learn the songs on the way," and they flew me out on Concorde...

-No way.

-I was halfway through the second song and we landed.

I was in New York.

I turned up and I had a Japanese guitar.

They said, "You can't go on stage with Thin Lizzy

"with a Japanese guitar."

Phil took out one of these, which he'd just bought on tour in America.

A beautiful, old thing.

It's an exact replica of that that I used

during the Boys Are Back In Town.

HE PLAYS INTRO TO BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN

MUSIC: The Boys Are Back In Town by Thin Lizzy

With loads of bands to see,

we're going to work harder than Keith Richards' liver.

In Scotland alone, well over 100 bands have applied.

Everything from police officers to psychiatrists,

playing folk to funk.

Which doesn't actually mean anything, but you get the gist.

Lovely guitar stuff going on there.

It's always nice to get good feedback, especially fae...

-Somebody other than your mum.

-Aye!

Just who gets to play a whopping live gig in Belfast

will be down to Midge and which bands tickle his musical fancy.

We're back on the road for the next leg of our epic trip.

But before we get there, we'll be getting off the road,

getting onto the sea, and getting back on the road again,

as we head for Northern Ireland.

It's not very nice weather. The last time I did this journey,

every single person on board emptied themselves of every single

-bodily fluid. It was coming out of their eyes.

-Aw!

-How were you on it? Were you...?

-I was empty.

Which begs the question, "Why are we doing this?"

This is going to be awful. We're going to drive off the other end

-just two, empty, desiccated husks of men.

-Two ex-entertainers.

So ahead of us in Belfast. Do you have expectations, hopes?

Ireland has a great history of music.

You look at Van Morrison or Rory Gallagher,

they've got a history of show bands. They were all brilliant players,

but they had to go out and play pop songs.

All the great Irish musicians stemmed from that background.

Music is something that they celebrate with,

but they also lament with. You know, it's very Celtic thing.

# So sing while you have time

# Let the sun shine down from above... #

Luckily, the sea was as calm and still

as Daniel O'Donnell's underpants.

'We've made it to Northern Ireland with no sick bags in sight.'

-Do they drive on the same side over here?

-You do.

Well, in your case, somewhere in the middle.

Yeah, I'm just hedging my bets.

Thankfully, it's Midge making the decisions.

The choices ahead of him are tougher than Dave Grohl's palms.

Next on our multi-stop tour is an art studio in Belfast

to see Wookalily, a multi-female band of multi-talented,

multi-instrumentalists.

Made up of teachers, classroom assistants and a photographer,

who play blend of Americana and bluegrass.

# Sweetest woman

# That you'd ever seen... #

And they have the smallest roadie in the UK, 9-month-old Rosa,

daughter of banjo player Sharon.

The band absolutely adore her.

At two weeks old she was on the road with us.

She went to London for a showcase.

ROSA GARGLES

CHEERING

The band was formed seven years ago by guitarist

and festival programmer Adele.

I needed some friends, so decided to form a band.

We're like sisters.

We can have a good punch-up still be friends afterwards.

You've got a bit of a following?

We got invited out to Nashville

to the International Bluegrass Festival.

There's big links between Belfast and Nashville.

-Yeah, we're twinned, as a town.

-Yeah, we're twinned with Nashville.

Country music came from the Celts.

A lot of bluegrass came from Presbyterians, actually,

emigrating over to the Appalachias,

and they're called hillbillies cos they used to sing

about King Billy, apparently.

Really, is that where it came from? You see, I'm getting educated here.

-This is good.

-A bit of politics!

Is that what all of you individually were into?

I would have started with traditional Irish music and rock

music, so it's completely different,

and then went into country. I've branched into different stuff.

You were rocking that ukulele. Quite rocky ukulele use.

-It's a mandolin.

-Was it?

I didn't want to correct him! Thank you, Midge!

What's the difference?

-Eight strings.

-A ukulele has four strings, that's got eight.

OK, I couldn't...

It's my maths.

-So, Wookalily.

-Multi-instrumentalists.

They were playing a whole variety of instruments.

-Lindsay was the singer. I loved her voice.

-The song was great.

The Devil's A Woman, yes. A lot of bitching in there.

It was very good, and it's got a strong country influence, you know,

all that shuffling snare drum.

In a weird way, it came from here in the first place.

Our tarmac-munching mega tour continues at pace.

This is pure love, isn't it? You can see it on stage.

You're still out there giving it attitude, it's fantastic.

350 miles and two countries down,

Midge's decision about which five bands are going to battle it out in

Belfast is getting tougher.

It's only right that the last leg of the tour should be in the spiritual

birthplace of music,

and I'm secretly hoping my country will do me proud.

Have you got any expectations, going to Wales?

It's a stereotypical cliche that the Welsh are all great singers.

The Welsh are all great singers, apart from choirs...

-I've heard you, so...

-And I absolutely...

You've broken the mould.

We're in the bosom of my home nation, heading for Cardiff,

and I've got an embarrassing confession to make

about how Midge's music shaped my early years.

If I think about Ultravox stuff,

which I was massively into as a kid...

You have excellent taste!

The Ultravox collection, that played...

That was my first, sort of, proper girlfriend, teenagers...

I don't know whether I should tell you this!

-..experimenting...

-You are sullying my songs.

We were at it to Dancing With Tears In My Eyes.

When you should have been at it to Vienna, you know,

especially the bit where it speeds up and then there's the big...

"Nothing to me!"

This means nothing to me, yeah.

-We had tears in our eyes, but for different reasons.

-Oh, dear.

What was it actually about?

You know when you take your two weeks away from work

-and you go on holiday and...

-Don't tell me Vienna was about a holiday?

-Well, kind of.

-A package holiday in Vienna!

So, you go to somewhere beautiful, like Vienna,

this crumbling, ancient old city,

you meet somebody and you vow that that wonderful moment

that you've had together will carry on when you get back

to your normal life, and, of course, the moment you get back

to your normal life, that moment disappears.

It means nothing to me any more.

So, are you telling me Vienna is a sort of arty Summer Loving?

Yeah.

# Summer Loving... # It's basically a holiday romance.

-Is that what it was?

-It's exactly that.

-No!

That's exactly what it is, yes.

# The image has gone only you and I

# It means nothing to me... #

So was it a woman in Vienna?

No, it wasn't, it was an absolute fantasy.

-I'd never been to Vienna.

-What?

-I'd read about it, you know, and...

Oh, my God. My whole childhood is going up in smoke.

Well, don't ask me the questions!

# Oh, Vienna... #

I don't want to burst people's bubbles.

You'll tell me David Bowie was never in space next.

There is no time to mend my shattered childhood,

cos we've got work to do,

on a picturesque, little industrial estate just outside Cardiff.

We're hunting down local rockers Johnny Cage & The Voodoogroove.

When these self-confessed scuzz bombs

aren't chasing the rock and roll dragon,

band-mates Dan and Peanut...

-He's so strong.

-He only smells strong.

..are living a different dream.

Selling and repairing catering equipment.

The daily routine is after a gig or rehearsal,

get to bed in the morning,

and get up in the same morning, and come to work, bleary eyed.

We've got to install microwave ovens, custom kitchen deliveries,

got to move refrigerators.

HE LAUGHS

Money for nothing, mate.

Peanut and Dan first met when they were 17 on the dance floor

of a local rock club

and they've been making music together ever since.

And that's been made easier as their best mate is also their boss.

You need an understanding partner and an understanding boss

to make music work, yeah. I mean, if you haven't got those two things,

it's not happening, dead in the water.

When we're busy, it's two full-time jobs, pretty much,

as we'll come out of here, we'll have a rehearsal.

Gigs, sometimes two or three gigs a week,

so it does get absolutely mental.

Dan and I couldn't do it without each other, now.

THEY LAUGH

Musical soul mates, man.

# There she blows

# ..her everywhere... #

# Some things are better left alone

# And some things are better off left alone

# Some things are better off left... Left alone

# They have got a hold of you...

# Some things are better left alone

# Some things are better off left alone

# Some things are better off left alone... #

-Thank you very much. Cheers.

-Is this your smallest gig?

-Yeah, yeah!

-That was brilliant, thanks, guys. Thank you very, much.

I loved that. It's funny, when you come back to Wales, you do have a

little bit of investment, a little bit of ownership...

I thought you did us proud.

When we were in Scotland, you didn't give a shit about the band.

It was very powerful and it was...

It was lovely and tight and chunky and you've obviously been playing

together for a bit of time, haven't you?

For longer than we care to remember!

It's got that pub rock thing, that mid-70s in London or whatever,

the feel-goods, pure energy.

Fantastic. You were like a muppet, it was fabulous.

Your mouth was wide open.

-It was great.

-Animal.

-Animal, yeah.

-So, what's the situation at the moment, then?

-Does it pay for itself?

-We tried to give up our jobs, and we couldn't,

so we went back to work.

In the summer, with the festivals, we do generally play every weekend.

There was one gig where a girl just tore her clothes off

and threw herself down the front of the stage.

-What, she stripped all her clothes off?

-Yeah, yeah.

Pretty much everybody pulls at Johnny Cage & The Voodoogroove.

So you whip them up into such a frenzy,

they all get off with each other?

We do want to be the band on stage at the party

-at the end of the world.

-Yeah!

Being the megastars we are, we'll be in a rocket, somewhere.

-Totally, totally.

-"See you, guys!"

You will be. I'll be standing, holding everyone's coats going,

"What's happening? Where's everyone gone?"

THEY LAUGH

Those grimy buggers have thrown a mangy cat amongst the pigeons.

-That's shaken things up a bit, Midge.

-In a great way, actually.

A really funny, likeable bunch of guys.

That was a real surprise, I wasn't expecting to see something go bang.

I can imagine, you know, watching them in a club somewhere,

sticky carpets, sweat running down the inside of the walls.

Knickers flying everywhere.

You've got to choose them, cos I want to go to a gig where

-everybody strips off and gets down to it.

-What, including me?

You don't want to see that!

Funnily enough, I didn't have you in my head when I was...

-Well, you have now!

-I have now! God...

Midge clearly seems to be enjoying himself. How could he not be?

We're in Cardiff, on the biggest tour of his career.

# I'm on my way from misery to happiness today. #

-Uh-huh.

-Uh-huh.

-Uh-huh.

-Uh-huh.

-What do you think of the new van?

-I liked the old one until you broke it!

-I didn't...

Our van blew up.

-How do you feel about skiffle, Midge?

-Uh...

-Skiffle? As in...

-You like a bit of skiffle?

-As in skiffle, yeah.

-As in tea chests and stuff?

As in, this isn't just chitchat.

-Oh, right, I thought...

-This isn't idle chitchat, mate.

We're going to see a skiffle band in Cardiff.

-I thought you genuinely wanted to know.

-No. Well, I do.

In a way, skiffle was the punk of its day.

You know, if you couldn't play an instrument,

you'd buy a tea chest and a broom handle and a bit of string and you

taught yourself how to play a one-string bass.

It was at transition between trad jazz and rock and roll.

John Lennon started out playing skiffle.

We are going to see a band called Railroad Bill.

# Way down in Soho

# Poor Rocky had to die

# Way down in Soho before the world began

# Way down in Soho before I was a man... #

The band first met at Aberystwyth University, so long ago,

Jesus was still best known as a carpenter.

Now all grown up, the band boast a history teacher,

two council workers, two IT geeks and, handy for any band,

a wine merchant.

CHEERING

Thank you very much for that. So, 30 years.

-That's amazing.

-30 years without any success whatsoever.

THEY LAUGH

Your song was great, cos it was so much of that era.

I wouldn't have been able to tell whether it was an original skiffle

-song or not.

-Dan and Chris tell good stories in the songs,

so the songs are entertaining.

We're both very traditional song writers

in the sense of verse, chorus, middle eights...

-Nothing fancy.

-We're clearly limited with instruments

and there's not a lot you can do.

You are with this.

I think I've probably taken it to the limits.

-Is this home-made?

-Yes. It literally is what it looks like.

-It's a tea chest.

-It's a tea chest from Kenya.

It's a broomstick, screwed to the corner of a tea chest,

with a bit of parachute cord.

So, when you formed the band,

were you looking to do that as a full-time thing?

I think one of the big mistakes that young bands do is look in a very

linear way at making it, rather than having a good time,

keeping going, enjoying themselves and being able to do this

into their 50s, and I think it's a shame,

because there are so many other ways you can make music.

What do you make of them?

Real buzz, real lovely stuff.

But it's so diverse from everything else that we've seen.

It's like dolly mixtures. Which one is your favourite?

It's really difficult to choose.

These guys, I thought, were just vibey, fun...

I was floored when they said they had been together for 30 years.

I mean, that's some drive, to take that through all the highs and lows

that those guys have been through.

-If Madness and Lonnie Donegan and Chas and Dave...

-The Pogues...

..all crashed into each other, this band would pop out the middle.

# Well, it's a hard road Dead or alive

# Well, it's a hard road Dead or alive... #

I think Wales are punching above their weight.

I've been really chuffed that they've been excellent.

So, can you stop sticking £20 notes under my door every night?

I don't want to sway you, but you should definitely choose

-the two Welsh bands we've seen so far.

-Subtle as usual.

Do you have a clear idea in your head so far

of who your favourite is?

There are a handful of very, very strong contenders.

This is about the best part-time bands, so you've got...

I think I've got to think of, "If I was standing here,

"watching an entire gig, would I love this?"

And that criteria alone makes it a little bit easier.

So, you've got two Welsh ones so far - who else?

MIDGE LAUGHS

It's a difficult moment for me, as I have to break it to Midge

that we only have one more band left to see.

We are off to the infamous Welsh town of Pontypool.

We are going to see a nine-piece R&B...

When I say R&B, I mean old-school R&B, they got together...

Well, in 1963, they supported The Who, these guys.

They have got a combined age, I can tell you, of about 850,

-and I'm not exaggerating.

-Hold on, how many are there?

-Nine.

-You do the maths.

-Old-school R&B, rhythm and blues, it's the Stones...

I presume these guys are old-school R&B.

Maybe they're not. Maybe they're, like, Rihanna and that.

So, these men are reputed up to the age of 90

-are going to do some twerking for us?

-Yeah!

Pieces Of Mind are playing a gig to friends and family

over 50 years on from supporting The Who.

I was offered £1,100 for that.

These pensioners make the Cardiff skiffle band

look like S Club Juniors.

Nonstop dancing, they've all got nonstop dancing, 7:30 to 11,

12 shillings and sixpence.

And late buses back to Newport.

All of them have got late buses, "Don't worry. Don't panic."

This is gold dust. This is fantastic stuff.

# Early in the morning 'bout the break of day

# That's when my baby went away

# Come back, baby, I wish you would

# Try and love me You won't do no good

# Come on, now

# On my way

# Ow

# I wish you would. #

APPLAUSE

Thank you.

-How are you doing, man? Fantastic. How are you doing?

-Awesome.

-Are you sure you're all in the band?

-Here, we've lost a couple.

-A couple, unfortunately.

-We lost one last week, unfortunately, as well.

One of the band died last week?

Yeah, and then we lost a drummer last year.

Thank fuck we got two others.

What, one and a spare?

We've still got five out of the original six left.

That's him, him, him, him and me.

In 2012, we were talking about

the Rolling Stones having their 50th anniversary,

so I said to Rob, "Pieces Of Mind have their 50th anniversary in 2013.

"Why don't we get together?"

Cos we hadn't seen each other for 50 years, whatever,

and so we got together in Wales, didn't fucking recognise anybody,

because obviously, we had barnets and that when we were kids,

and this one, because he's the leader of the pack, said,

"We should play." So, we do about half a dozen shows a year, now.

The posters out there, you've got, supporting The Who...

When we played with The Who, it was January '66.

We had the audacity to finish with My Generation,

which was number one for them at the time.

So, we come back down into the dressing room

and Daltrey has got Pete Townshend up against the wall,

cos they're off their tits, Townshend and Moon,

and I said to Ducksy, "There's no fucking way

"this lot are going to stay together."

So, you obviously know how to ingratiate yourselves with the bands

you're playing with, by playing their current hit before they do!

Well, I can't make Vienna, otherwise we would have done that for you.

How the hell do you get together for rehearsals?

-We don't rehearse.

-I'm glad YOU said that!

LAUGHTER

Midge, you're going to get a kick in the bollocks!

That's how I can still hit the high notes in Vienna!

Oh...Welsh cakes all round.

Not that they were trying to bribe us.

Of course not! But they were brilliant,

and they kind of epitomise what this is all about.

You know, they're a band who broke up for 40 years.

Stonkingly good, now.

The three Welsh bands we've seen here are really good. Very proud.

-Stop it.

-Very proud. Nothing to do with being Welsh.

Think about it while you have that Welsh cake.

Is this... Is this, kind of...?

You have that, don't let that influence your decision.

So, Midge, has this trip been the greatest touring experience

-of your life?

-I've had an absolute ball.

Was it just me or was it partly the bands and things as well?

Oh, no, it was all you!

Always all you.

I didn't know what to expect.

-Are you surprised?

-Hugely surprised.

Some of the bands are just...

exceptional, and incredibly diverse -

the cross-section of musics, age groups...

Which made it even harder to try and decide

who you'd like to see again,

but I am trying to do it just simply from

the sensation you felt when you saw the band perform.

After six days and over 700 miles,

our monster road trip in the love bus is over.

This is it, mate. 'And Midge has chosen his favourite five

to follow in the footsteps of the Arctic Monkeys,

Blur and the Strokes,

by playing the legendary Limelight in Belfast.

So, Midgeroo, who's made it through?'

Strangely enough, they're two Scottish acts

and two Welsh acts and one local Belfast act.

All-girl band Wookalily.

-Wookalily.

-Country rock.

Multi-instrumentalists and they're really talented girls.

We've got GT's Boos Band from Glasgow.

Bombskare, a brilliant ska band.

Just so full of power, it's fabulous.

Johnny Cage and the Voodoogroove.

You know, real energy.

And Pieces Of Mind, a band who supported The Who in 1966.

-They broke up for...

-45 years, I think it was.

..and got back together again.

It kind of epitomises the whole idea of a part-time band.

It's going to be buzzing in here. You know, Friday night, Belfast,

-it's going to be phenomenal.

-Awesome. Good choices.

-Good choices, Midge.

-Thank you.

Once he's seen how the five bands perform

in front of a capacity crowd,

Midge must choose which two will go through to the grand final.

It's a big step up from the rehearsal rooms,

pubs and clubs we have seen them in,

and the sound check is a chance to iron out any technical issues.

Because the girls aren't a rock band, like the rest,

can you pump their overall level up a bit?

Going through to the regional heats was just really exciting.

Our families were really delighted whenever we got through.

Just completely over the moon.

Excited or nervous?

-A bit of both?

-I'm nervous.

-I'm quite nervous.

Excited nervousness.

But you want that, don't you? That's what makes you step that extra...

For GT's Boos Band, tonight's gig is a step up the ladder.

But ironically for lead singer Greig,

it is also a chance to step down off the ladder.

Yesterday, I was out in the snow, cleaning windows.

Then I was getting picked up two hours later

to come here and do this.

You can play all your life and never get a tiny, tiny step,

so it's really nice to have a little insight to that.

It is really interesting that this is the first time

they've actually seen each other, these bands.

Till now, they didn't know who they were up against.

How does it feel, watching the other bands?

The ones we've seen have been fantastic.

-The competition is tough.

-The competition is tough, I have to say.

It made me a little bit nervous, man, yeah, yeah.

I don't get nervous often, but, yeah, yeah.

Win, lose or draw,

-tonight, we are going to...

-Win.

-Yeah.

Basically. If I've got to pick three, it's got to be win.

It's scary and exciting for them.

As long as they control it and look to the right direction,

then the only direction for them is forwards.

I want to see that spark,

I want to see it come alight in front of a crowd.

Sound check over, it's showtime.

GT's Boos Band!

Fans and family have travelled from all over the UK to be here.

Stirling, Newcastle, by boat, by sea, by plane...

We are from South Wales and we are supporting Pieces Of Mind.

THEY SHOUT

Please welcome to the stage Rhod Gilbert

and the legend that is Midge Ure!

CHEERING

Hello! Give it up, give it up, let me hear you!

Are you excited?

-ALL:

-Yes!

-Welcome to the UK's Best Part-time Band.

There's no prize, no recording contract, no Christmas number one.

There's fuck all. Nothing.

It's a pointless waste of time, the whole thing.

But we're here for the love of music, that is it.

This is Midge. CHEERING

You are seeing the combined talents of Scotland...

CHEERING

..Wales... CHEERING

..and Northern Ireland.

CHEERING

Midge selected them all.

-Do I get to speak?

-Yeah.

Oh, right, OK. All right.

I thought it was only that fucker Geldof

-that stopped me from speaking.

-At last, he says it! At last.

30 years, we've been waiting for you to say that.

-30 years.

-Oh, I'll regret that!

Tonight, you are seeing five, and we are going to choose two,

which will go into the finals.

We've got window cleaners, we've got postmen, we've got firemen.

This is not karaoke.

This is proper music by people who love it.

Midge, the first band, from Scotland...

CHEERING

This is a band who will never, ever make any money

because there are so many of them.

But they were phenomenal, so you're in for a good time.

The most sober I have ever been before a gig, so I'm very nervous!

But when I tell you their name,

you'll realise why I am in a slightly awkward position.

Don't get me wrong, I like Belfast.

But...I've never had to bring on a band called Bombskare.

CHEERING AND WHOOPING

I'm glad you laughed at that!

Ladies and gentlemen of Belfast, for once, we can cheer for Bombskare!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Hello!

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are Bombskare!

Go!

# Don't you know that it's true that Big Brother's watching you?

# I'd rather have him watching me than watch Big Brother

# I don't mind standing in the front line where I can be seen

# Cos he knows where I am Where I'm going and where I've been

# You're all for us

# Or you're against us

PLAYS HARMONICA

# Woke up one morning to the crime of the century

# Wake up, can't you see? It's right in front of you

# Woke up one morning to the crime of the century

# Wake up, can't you see? It's right in front of you... #

CHEERING

It was excellent. Very good. Very pleased.

-Hell of a pace.

-A lot faster than the sound check.

-Yeah.

-That's pure excitement and adrenaline, I guess.

-It was fantastic. By the end, they were with us.

-They were there.

-One more song, we'd have been like...

-One more song.

-Just one more.

-We would have destroyed them.

CHEERING

Did you enjoy Bombskare?

CHEERING

The next band, ladies and gentlemen, are all the way from Belfast...

CHEERING

-How are you feeling?

-Excited!

-No pressure!

No pressure at all.

Any teachers in?

This band, some of them are teachers and classroom assistants.

Formed in Belfast... Don't start!

We could literally go up on stage and fart

and they would be like, "Yeah!"

This band uses lots of different instruments.

I got a mandolin and a ukulele mixed up and he ripped the shit out of me.

"Oh, fuck... What's the difference?"

One of us on stage knows something about music.

-Did you know that, about a mandolin and a ukulele?

-Yes!

-Oh, yeah, everybody knew, yeah? ALL:

-Yes!

All right. Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome to the stage...Wookalily!

CHEERING

Calm down, calm down. Why are yous so excited?

# Half past 12 and I'm watching the late show

# In my flat all alone

# How I hate to spend the evening on my own

# Autumn winds blowing outside my window

# As I look around the room

# And it makes me so depressed to see the gloom

# Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight

# Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away?

# Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight

# Take me through the darkness to the break of the day... #

Woo!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you, Belfast!

-That was great.

-That felt like a very genuine reaction, as well.

It wasn't just a home crowd being partisan.

I threw my sunglasses into the crowd.

But I really liked those glasses!

I was just taken up in the moment.

Give it up one more time for Wookalily!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Next band. Midge, they're from your neck of the woods, Scotland...

CHEERING

One of these men, yesterday,

was rescuing people from burning buildings, ladies and gentlemen.

He is a fireman.

Is that your fella?

One of these men - not quite as exciting - was delivering the mail.

One of them - even less exciting - was cleaning windows.

Tell me if you are up for a bit of blues.

CHEERING

-Here we go.

-They're absolutely amazing.

All the way from Scotland, it is GT's Boos Band!

CHEERING

Is everybody having a good time?

# Everybody's talking, baby

# About this crazy situation

# Everybody's walking, baby

# Just trying to escape this misery

# I'm blaming you for falling in love

# And now everybody knows

# Yeah, I've been angry, baby

# Cos you've been lying with other guys

# Now I find myself riding high lately

# To hide the evidence of some crime

# But I'm a man and I said no

# Now everybody knows

# Everybody knows! #

CHEERING

Thank you!

Thank you so much.

Whoa! You've got a fight on your hands, there, mate.

It was powerful, and the musicality was fantastic.

The guitarist is extremely good.

A very tricky thing to pull off, but they pulled it off, as you said,

with great aplomb.

Yeah, it is a great feeling for us to come and do that

and to get a response like that off the crowd was fantastic.

Just trying to calm down a wee bit.

Rhod, in the absence of Tom Jones, you are basically,

like, Wales personified, so...

So, we are doing this for you.

We are doing this for you and my nan.

CHEERING

The next band are from Cardiff.

CHEERING AND BOOING

-That was a boo!

-Oh!

Right, someone is having it, now.

They describe their own music as

Cuban dirty rock and roll rockabilly...

It's rock and roll, it's proper rock. It's great.

You say it's rock and roll.

I would describe it as standing on a dirty needle...

in a good way.

If that makes any sense.

Give a massive, warm Belfast welcome for

Johnny Cage and the Voodoogroove!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Good evening, Belfast, what's happening?

-So many Celts.

It's fucking beautiful.

# Edna Milton in a drop dead suit

# Dutch Pink on a downtown train

# Two dollar pistol and her gun won't shoot

# I'm in a corner on the pouring rain

# 16 men on a dead man's chest

# And I've been drinking from a broken cup

# Two pairs of pants and a mohair vest

# I'm full of bourbon and I can't stand up

# Hey, little bird Fly away home

# Your house is on fire Your kids are alone

# Hey, little bird Fly away home

# Your house is on fire Your kids are alone

# I said hey, little bird Fly away home

# Your house is on fire Your kids are gone

# I said hey, little bird Fly away home

# Your house is on fire Your kids are gone. #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Yes!

I'm watching this, and it's great that...

They turned it up to 11.

The drummer looks like the sort of boy

you'd want your daughter to bring home,

-until you see him play!

-I know!

-Unbelievable.

-He's determined to break the drum kit.

Great musicians. Guitarist is very good.

The singer is excellent, I think.

CHEERING Ladies and gentlemen,

what did we think of Johnny Cage and the Voodoogroove?

CHEERING Next band.

They are from a little place called Pontypool in the Welsh valleys.

As we pulled up in front of what looked like a little scout hut

in the middle of nowhere, Rhod said,

"The combined age of this band

"is 860, or something."

THEY LAUGH

One of them is called Ducksy.

I asked, "Why are you called Ducksy?"

All the others went, "Cos he used to wank off swans in the park."

So, I said the obvious question - "Why aren't you called Swansy?"

He says, "Because it's a town."

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up, all the way from Wales,

it's Pieces Of Mind!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Ducksy...

# A gypsy woman told my momma Before I was born

# Got a boy child comin'

# Gon' be a son of a gun

# Make pretty women jump and shout

# Then the world gon' know

# What it's all about

# You know I'm him

# Everybody knows I'm him

# Woo!

# I'm the hoochie coochie man

# Everybody knows I'm him

# I'm a hoochie coochie man

# Everybody knows I'm him, yeah. #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

They were really good, yeah, really good.

And they don't care about anything. They're just partying on,

just having a good time.

-Yeah, a great lesson to us all, you know?

-I know, yeah.

Midge and I retire backstage to mull over his decision

as to which two bands will progress to the grand final in Manchester.

Where are my Welsh cakes when I need them?

You're going to have to kill off some bands that I love.

-Yes.

-Because you've got to put two through.

It's very difficult to try and choose

between different types of music.

The running order is always awkward for people,

can somebody has got to go on first,

you've got to follow a really powerful band

with a really intimate little thing.

There is a reason that all those bands were there today.

They were fantastic, they were phenomenal.

I really didn't expect that.

The audience loved it.

But you can only choose between

who made the impact to you personally on the day.

And I think two bands, who are incredibly consistent,

every time we've seen them, and they just...excelled tonight.

All right, mate, let's just go down and do it.

-Yeah.

-You do it.

-Absolutely.

-You do it.

-All right...coward.

Ladies and gentlemen...give it up!

It's decision time.

Which is probably why Midge is taking a while to get here.

I know he's not looking forward to this.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to bring the bands back on.

You saw Pieces Of Mind...

CHEERING

Wookalily...

CHEERING

Ladies and gentlemen, you saw Bombskare.

CHEERING

Give it up for Johnny Cage and the Voodoogroove.

CHEERING

GT's Boos Band!

CHEERING

One big cheer for all the bands you've seen,

because three of them are going to go out tonight, unfortunately.

Midge, just before we come to the decision bit,

overall, how has it been for you?

I don't want to get too serious about it.

Our music industry has been hijacked.

It's been taken over by...

CHEERING

It's been taken over by mediocrity. It's dreadful.

It's a cardinal sin that artists and bands like this

can't make a living from making music.

There's no commercial break, there's no pregnant pause.

Midge, just tell us who you've chosen.

I said there's no pause - just tell us.

Tell them, or I will.

The first band through...

Bombskare.

CHEERING

Second band through...

Johnny Cage.

CHEERING

Thank you very, very, very, very much.

Bombskare have something.

They just...

It's like lighting a touchpaper on a firework and standing back

and this thing just explodes.

We might be the best zero-hours contract band in the UK!

Johnny Cage - when they got out in front of a crowd,

they completely outstripped everyone else.

-Outstanding.

-I feel lubricated...

No, I feel salubricated.

I feel supercilious, superseded...

I feel wonderful.

It was an experience and I will take that experience away.

A really positive thing. Meeting all the other bands, too.

The best two won, man. Fucking awesome.

This lot were fucking outrageous.

A little disappointed,

but we just love the fact that a real band like ours,

with real stories and real music

is getting a chance to do what we do best.

Next time...

Starting early. We got the police behind us.

You brought the heat on us.

Never had so many men in my bedroom.

Even though they are a part-time band...

..all of them have got full-time passion.

# Hey! You! What do you see? #

How long did it take you to think of that?

About an hour and a half.

Let's do it.

-Ooh...!

-Maybe not.

-I'm not in a band.