India's Invisible Women Our World

single women can be tough. She's spoken to single women across the

country and uncovered some uncomfortable truths.

More than ever, what it is to be a woman in India is in the spotlight.

I have been reporting on my country for 12 years, but now, I am facing

some fit difficult home truths. -- some difficult. As we treat single

women as worthless. I feel absolutely ashamed. I don't

have words to say on how I feel. Even India's new breed of

empowered, single women are marginalised. Are you serious that

moving out of the country will make things easier for your parents? I

don't think about that because it would be easier to be away from

everything. For some women come at a violent marriage is preferable to

being single. She went back to her husband's place last weekend she

badly beaten. The divorcee who is challenging India's attitude to life

after marriage. You go to anyone and you tell them you are going through

a divorce and they don't want to know about it. I want to find out

how free women here are truly are to be single in modern India. -- here

are Maugham by, the maximum city. --

Mumbai. Nowhere epitomises new India like this place. More modern,

cosmopolitan and prosperous than at any time in its history. Whether any

of this is changing things for women in India is what I want to find

out. I am starting by a meeting this woman. She is new India to the core.

A digital marketing manager, she is educated, independent and single.

Saturday night, party time. Where are we going? A happening place

where I go. For a Saturday, it is a good base with good music. This

group aren't all single, but most of us are. She is one of a small but

growing number of women in India, single by choice, shunning the

tradition of arranged marriage and, just short of her 28th birthday,

older than the average age for marriage in India. I am going to

introduce you to my people. I am keen to know how typical she is, and

whether her friends support her choices. For a guy it is about 27

and for a girl as early as 22. If a girl isn't married by 26, she is

going off the market. I just entered the arranged market. The market. How

does it look? It is a little intimidating. If you are past 24 or

25, everyone is eyeing you. People wonder what is wrong with you. What

do you say when they ask you ? I have a sensible answer, that I

haven't found the right guy yet. I never forward the e-mail that says,

if you forward your e-mail to ten people, you will find the right

partner. I am married, so no one sends me those. For all the

laughter, what is emerging is that she views the prospect of marriage

very differently to her friends. Being practical, getting married to

the wrong person is not practical. I think I am being practical by not

getting involved in something I have noted idea about. I want to marry

someone I am fond of. -- I have no idea. Suruchi is feeling the

pressure from the Society, friends and others, as I found out to get

married. Living in this country, I am aware there are implications to

that pressure --society. . Finding a place to live is one of them. We are

meeting Suruchi's property agent. Here is the kind of apartment she

would like to rent. With her job, she could afford it. Look at the

Green. But Suruchi's status as a single woman in her late 20s makes

that a tall order. But what are the concerns when you try to convince

landlords to lease a property to a single woman? They think it is a

woman with bad character. If a woman comes at the age of 35 and she is

unmarried, they believe this is someone with a bad character and

maybe a bad influence on the children, as something that goes

against the Indian culture. If people don't follow the centuries of

culture, people don't like that. Even in the few societies that

consider single women tenants, owners are keen to cover what they

see as an increased liability. They might ask for aid 10-25% premium. --

a 10-25%. White you mean, she will have to pay an extra ten to 20%. --

10-20%. That must be very difficult. You must be feeling very

judged. How much does this way new? Every way, emotionally and at times

physically because you have to be on your toes all the time. You live a

life where you are always scared. You can't be yourself. You can't

live a life of your own wishes. That is what I have faced over the last

five years stating in the city. In a couple of days I will be back to

spend Suruchi's birthday with her. I will see first-hand the pressure

from her family to marry. India's suspicion of single women is

brought into focus went it comes to women who have lost their husbands.

One place in the country that captures the plight of widows,

especially in the rural areas, is in the Holly City, a sanctuary for such

widows who are abandoned by their families. -- Holy. We are heading to

the town and this will be my first ever visit to the city.

This is home to 15,000 widowed women and each have seen their own grief

at losing their husbands compounded what followed. Often seemed as a

burden, emotionally and financially by their families, they are faced

with sentiment, abuse and, ultimately, being abandoned. One of

them is here. She is 65. She came to Vrindavan eight years ago, after

life as a bidder, living with her family, became unbearable.

--widow. Like many widows here, for her, there was little to lose in

coming to Vrindavan. The life she had taken decades to create had

already been taken from her. People treated her like she did not belong.

She was hit badly and her legs were broken. Her daughter in the walk,

her sons, nobody treated her like a human being. She didn't feel that

she was leaving -- leading a life of dignity. I am ashamed.

I feel ashamed absolutely and I don't have words to say of how I

feel. Thank you. Her story hit me hard. Of course I was aware before

meeting her that life for Indian widows can be tough, but it was

shocking to see first-hand how, without a man by her side, a la

society and her family see her as worthless. -- our society. So little

has changed for women in this country. I am a new woman and I see

myself differently, I am cosmopolitan, I work and I feel

liberated. I can't imagine myself in this situation ever, come what way.

-- come what may. In general, when you look around, 1.26 billion people

in this country and you know a big chunk of that population has to

fight for a dignified life. Women are one of the most vulnerable.

Being part of that gender, I feel very strongly. I feel we have not

moved enough. Not enough as a modern society. To try get answers about

all of this, I am meeting this woman. This is one of the places

where we feed them. Her charity is one of the few sources these women

have. The women turn up here every lunchtime in their hundreds for a

hot meal. These women are all widows. One thing they need is

nutrition, because without that, with their failing health,

everything will go into a cycle. So you provide one we ensure that. It

makes a difference for their health and to their well-being generally.

It gives them a little dignity because they do not then have two

beg for at least this meal. -- to beg. Understanding why the women are

pushed out of their families is crucial if we are to do more than

fill empty stomach. It is a combination of outdated beliefs and

more financial reality. The primary reason is economic. The family will

feel that if she is disempowered and is left without any identity, then

she cannot put any state to any financials of the family. It is

culture, culture, culture. After all of this, there is still hope. You

know, when they die, their son will probably come and like their part.

-- pyre. Hero, a son who breaks your legs and hits you so hard your skull

breaks. A son who is willing to put power dung in your mouth, and yet,

you want the same sun to come and light your pyre. You cannot

understand that mindset. When it comes to women who are single by

separation or divorce social attitudes are equally problematic.

Were towards this shop where she goes every day to buy her daily

stuff. She is being divorced by her husband after this family rejected

the marriage. Despite being comfortably off he has provided no

maintenance to her in three years. It has left her and her son

destitute. She will be able to cook to meals

with this amount of lentils. This is the bare minimum, the lowest of the

low income in India. You have to have this to carry on. On top of the

poverty, she and her son are without her husband. She is ashamed even

though he has rejected her. It is this concern that is behind

her continuing attempts to go back to her husband. Not only does he

refuse her, but he refuses violently. This is incredible. She

went back to her husband 's place last week and she was badly beaten

up. She says that she is ready and happy to be with her husband despite

him being abusive. She has been going back to allow him to stay

there but they throw her out every time.

What is amazingly sad about this story is that she still wants to be

in an abusive, terrible marriage. Because it is so difficult to be

single by divorce. It proves again how incredibly difficult it is to be

a divorced person, to be a divorced woman in this country. India still

has one of the lowest divorce rates in the world. It is a picture that

is changing. In five years, the number of divorce cases here has

doubled. I could not believe this magazine. It is India's first

divorce news magazine. The fact that it exists at all is remarkable. The

editor is a divorcee herself. I will go to meet her.

She knows the state of divorce in India better than most. At the High

Court in Mumbai where she practices as a divorce lawyer, Vandana has

seen more and more cases come to court but no increase in legal

resources. In 2001 when my matter came to court there were only 20

cases on board. Today there are about 60 to 70 a day. The number of

cases has more than trebled, but the number of judges is the same, the

number of controls remain the same. The number of courts remain the

same. This legal bottleneck reflects a social stigma. For Vandana it is

much worse for women and bald in divorce. -- involved in divorce. I

have come to her home to sit in on the counselling sessions she offers

women divorce says. It is 630 in the house. The kids and a used to be

totally silent. Once he enters the house, there is a fear. In the whole

of India, this must be one of the few places where women involved in

divorce find it genuinely sympathetic ear. Most of them are

depressed and many have contemplated suicide. Their financial condition

is pathetic. They come to me to hear a voice to say that you are not

wrong in wanting better for yourself. And to hear that there is

life beyond. Life beyond divorce is one that Vandana knows that wider

India is struggling to accept. You go to anyone you tell them that you

are going through divorce and they do not want to know it. We have not

ever accepted divorce as an inevitability in this country. Why?

Will make we think that marriages are made in heaven and you will be

with your husband until hell freezes over. With the changed dynamics,

especially financial dynamics, and awareness that women have, that is

not happening. One person who is a product of these

new dynamics is our next guest. I am back with her to catch a train from

Mumbai. I am going to meet her parents and it will be a nice party

time because it is her birthday and will celebrate its together the

pressures on her as an independent and professional single woman are

very different to those of other women in this film. They stem from

the same source. They stem from a long held belief in India that a

woman without a man is somehow less value. -- somehow of less value. As

we travel the five hours towards her family home, I want to know more

about how this affects her relationship with her parents. I

love going back home, I love seeing my family and being pampered. There

is something that you do dread. There is a discussion going on, is

there a guide that you are seeing? Is there somebody in your life? With

the get married? In spite of May visit every time, the conversation

continues. Is its always a joke? It is not always a joke for my parents

because I am aware of the pressures that they face. It gets conducted to

me as well. # happy birthday to you. She is 28 years old. Another year

and another increase in the pressure to find a husband. We are looking at

her matrimonial profile which her dad manages for her. There are 58

pages of men who are interested. She is taking a look. Do you think

anybody is interesting? I am just looking at their profiles. It is not

get me intrigued at all. They have their own problems and that is when

the disagreements start. If he is earning well and looks good what is

your problem? Her parents respect the choices. But with each birthday,

you can see the impatience and anxiety growing. What are the

pressures that you would encounter? The pressure around this particular

factor is immense. If you are capable, you can find a way out. It

might be moving abroad somewhere. If it gets too much I will without this

country so that I do not have to deal with all of this. Are you

serious? Would that make it easier for your parents? Do you really

think that is true? I do think about it. It would be easier for me to be

away. The best thing would be that my parents would not have to answer

to everyone whenever they are asked. They can say that she is

abroad and dealing with it herself. It takes the pressure off them. The

pressures that everyone here feels about being single are as old as the

ritual that she and her brother perform for this festival. I have

seen for myself how these pressures weigh heavily and how one day they

could even force this family apart. Social attitudes are so difficult to

measure. As I have travelled a country while making this film I

have met women whose lives have been affected in real terms by attitudes.

A lot of it is uncomfortable. It has been an example of the fact that

some of the hardest truth to face are the ones closest to you. Looking

in-depth at your own country, your own gender, is something I have not

found easy. Many things here are improving but the new India is still

an unforgiving place for single women who wants to be free to pursue

their own lives. -- want to be free. It is shaping up to be a pleasant

weekend. We are going to see milder air pushing northwards after a

chilly down Friday in the north. You will notice the