Why Can't My Child Speak? Our World

being reopened, as

Danny Savage explains.

This picture triggered

a murder trial.

It shows a man called

David Dearlove with his stepson,

Paul Booth.

When this image was posted

on Facebook, Paul's now adult

brother went to police,

telling them Dearlove had murdered

the toddler and he had witnessed it.

The 21-year-old Dearlove

in the photo is now 71.

Almost 50 years later,

he was today convicted of murder.

Back in the late 1960s,

he lived with the boys' mother

in this house in Stockton.

On the night he killed his stepson

in the living room, he claimed

the boy's injuries were accidental,

but his three-year-old brother,

Peter, saw what really happened.

He'd crept downstairs for a drink,

and through a gap in the living room

door saw Dearlove swinging Paul

violently by the ankles

and cracking his head

against the fireplace,

causing fatal injuries.

Nearly half a century later,

what Peter Booth saw just

before his fourth birthday has

convicted his stepfather of murder.

Dearlove said Paul had received

the injuries by falling out of bed.

Had he fallen out of bed

and fractured his skull,

that would have resulted

in a straight line fracture.

In this case we had a fracture

that was a Z shape and crossed two

places in the skull,

and that wasn't consistent with him

having simply fallen

and hit his head against an object

such as a hard floor.

A lot of the lines of enquiry

we are used to in this day and age,

digital enquiries, phone

works, forensics, stuff

like that didn't exist.

We didn't have a body in this case,

we didn't have a scene,

a lot of the witnesses were dead,

so it was quite challenging.

Paul Booth's brother and sister had

to relive childhood ordeals

and trauma to get justice for him.

The judge said Dearlove made

the children's lives a misery,

and jailed him for a

minimum of 13 years.

Danny Savage, BBC News, Teesside.

Now on BBC News, Our World.

Is it easier to talk

to your mom or at school?

Or it's the same?

You see this fear overcome her.

She's not talking

to anybody in school.

It's affected her whole life.

It's been very, very difficult.

The only way to get over selective

mutism is to confront it.

And to confront the situation

with me, I was anxious.

Part of you is telling

yourself to go and do it

but then you say you can't.

I felt like this week

is make or break it.

We need this right now and we need

it to be successful.

I want their lives

to change from it.

So there is always a part of me

that's worried that their lives

are not going to change enough.

Welcome to We Speak!

CHEERING

All of you guys are here

because in one way or another,

anxiety is impacting your life.

Selective mutism is an anxiety

disorder where kids have difficulty

talking in certain situations,

so they look like normal kids

at home and when they are in a state

of anxiety, then they just kind

of shut down and freeze.

And are unable to respond.

A lot of them can't actually ask

to go to the bathroom.

I've seen, actually,

older kids who have had

accidents in school.

So, for a shy kid, they are slow

to warm up, but this is not

the case with kids with SM.

In fact, it's actually the opposite.

So for kids with SM,

the longer that they go

without talking, then

the harder it is to start talking.

We've got to work for our prizes...

Annalisa is very funny.

I wish people could

see that, you know?

She is, at home, a typical teenager.

But then, when she leaves the house,

everything changes.

Is your name Annalisa,

Lexi or Shelley?

There is a physical

transformation that comes about.

It's so difficult to watch.

Because you see this fear overcome

her, but they want to be invisible.

Is it easier to talk

to your mom or at school?

She has had selective mutism

basically her whole life.

Diagnosed at the age of five.

I went home and googled it.

And then cried.

Because...

Sorry.

Because I realised she was different

and it wasn't just shyness.

And it's affected her whole life.

It's very, very difficult.

I'm hoping that she'll be able

to lead a normal life.

Get married, have children,

have a job, go to college.

But a lot of that hangs

in the balance over will

she be able to talk?

Do we conquer anxiety by doing

the thing that makes us anxious?

The cause of selective mutism

is kind of a combination

of environment and genetics.

There's often one or both parents

who also have a history of anxiety.

And parents, they'll kind of jump

in and either answer

for the child or they might

say, "It's OK, honey,

you don't

need to answer."

So through that process,

the child is actually learning

to avoid the situations that

make them anxious.

Until it really becomes

an ingrained pattern.

What is your name?

OK, can we try saying it

a little bit louder?

Rhianna.

Rhianna?

OK.

And where do you live?

Vancouver.

In Vancouver?

We have each of the kids

make a video in advance

and send it to us.

For many of them, you wouldn't even

know that they have selective

mutism from the video.

Hi, I'm Bran.

I live on a farm.

Who do you find it

easiest to talk to?

Your parents?

At home, with us,

she is quite outgoing.

And very chatty.

I guess from the age of three,

it was a pivotal moment.

We just thought it was a typical

case of her being shy.

Do you like homework?

Well, it depends.

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

She actually stepped

off into this pond.

And most kids would have splashed,

kicked, gone crazy.

She sank.

It was only two feet deep.

It was only knee-deep but she just

froze and lay there at the bottom.

So we started to think, OK,

she can't keep yourself safe.

What do you want to

be when you grow up?

Be a vet, a veterinarian?

Yeah?

Each day you are going

to play Jenga for just 15

minutes in the beginning.

In another small step.

So, on video games, you can

tell your parents, excuse me,

I'm just trying to learn

problem-solving skills here.

James talks to me and his dad

and his brother and my parents.

That's really it.

Nobody at school.

Let's jump out!

It's very hard.

At points you feel angry

because you don't know how

to help him and when there is no

help out there and no one knows

what to do and the teachers think

he is just defiant and just doesn't

want to speak and you

know it's not true.

I feel like this week

is make or break it.

I don't want to say our last chance

because I would hate to say that.

But I really do think we need this

right now and we need

it to be successful.

Chelsea is going to ask

you the question as yes or no.

Make sense to you?

Hand down.

Yes, beautiful.

Every kid's presentation

is completely different.

We also have kids in there

who are very comfortable talking

to adults and then with peers,

you see a different child.

30 seconds, go, go, go!

Not yet, no toppings

yet, just flavours!

Is it harder to talk

to family or at school?

At school.

At school.

Is it harder to talk to the kids

at school or teachers?

The kids.

The kids.

Emily's talking at school

and doing what she needs

to do

to get through the day.

But she's not herself at school.

There's a lot of personality that

isn't really shining through.

It's raining!

It's pouring!

She's only doing the bare

minimum so she answers

questions if people ask her,

she doesn't initiate conversations.

It's like a lump in your throat

and part of you is telling yourself

to go and do it but part

of you is saying you can't.

It's hard to.

Sometimes I actually can't do it.

I think my biggest fear

in all of these is that they're not

going to get out of it what I am

hoping for them.

It's a lot that parents

are investing in.

I want their lives to change.

What is it?

Red Hot Chilli Peppers!

Pretty good team name!

We are about to go do a scavenger

hunt at a local market and the kids

are going to be asking employees

where different ingredients are.

I remember when I used

to go grocery shopping...

Yes, do you like to

go grocery shopping?

You say, "Yes, I like to

go grocery shopping."

It can be really hard for these kids

to do a normal thing

like going into a grocery store

because it's an unexpected place.

A normal compliment could be

really anxiety inducing

because they're like, "OK,

now I'm expected to respond."

Here, I am an employee that works

here, I'm just loading some

cookies onto a shelf.

And then you ask...

Where are the jalapenos?

Awesome job!

So, for Annalisa, currently

at one word responses,

I can feed her a line of, like,

you could ask me this,

and then she will ask me that back.

But no spontaneous

utterances thus far.

I had SM when I was a kid.

I really relate to these kids

on so many levels so it's hard

for me sometimes to push them too

far because I know exactly

how they're feeling.

You can ask the question here.

In the produce aisle, awesome.

Great job asking, that was

so awesome and clear.

Thank you very much.

Was it harder or easier to ask

the question to the clerk

or to practice with me?

Did it feel a little

scary or really scary?

You don't know.

Was it...

Answer if it was easy or hard.

It is a challenge to accept Madison

because she thinks somebody isn't

doing what they should be doing.

Meeting parents that are also

dealing with selective

mutism has been almost

like life-changing for me.

It's just great to hear other

people say that these

are the same struggles.

Their child can't get up

to go to the bathroom,

their child does this or that,

that changed us.

It just makes you feel better

to hear that you're not crazy.

You may not know how to ask

about the facts and side-effects.

Well, that's really what treatment

is about, it's about practising

things that make us anxious.

Really, the kids at this stage,

they don't really know why they're

scared of talking to other people.

I couldn't tell you what I was

afraid of when I was five

and I think most of these kids don't

really know

that the only way to get

over selective mutism is to confront

it and confront the situations that

make us anxious.

What I said was either sit down...

Sometimes I ask parents to read

letters to the kids.

Because they don't have to deal

with the interpersonal stuff,

they can read it and reread it...

People say, what's the research

evidence for this?

We're not quite there to be able

to say, you can take to the bank,

this is going to work.

But we are confident about tweaking

the programme to make it work.

For us, it's getting

the parents to do what we do.

That's our challenge.

So I don't think of this week

as a therapy, I think of it

as teaching the therapist how

to do the therapy.

And it's very daunting

because there is this turning

point when they realise,

oh, so I'm literally going to have

to do this every day or every week?

And the answer is,

yes, relentlessly.

This afternoon, our group

is going to Battery Park,

so all of the kids will be

communicating with each other

and with someone else

out in the community.

So this should be exciting!

If you eventually ask,

then he will probably say no.

So just say, let's ask.

As a mum, to see James

struggling, it's hard.

It's very stressful and produces

great anxiety in me because we're

watching this child who I know can

talk and I know he wants to talk

and he just can't get it out.

I've asked before,

"where are your words?

Why can't you get your words out?"

And he will say "they're

stuck in my head.

I can't get it out."

When his words get stuck

in his head, my anxiety level really

does increase and I feel

like I want to grab him and hug him

and make it all better.

One, two, three.

Great job!

Do you ever worry

that it's too much?

The treatment for anxious kids

is putting them in situations that

make them anxious and actually

facing their fears.

We need them to actually experience

the anxiety in these situations

and get through it for them to see

that they can.

What is that?

Statue of Liberty, yeah!

We've got a question, we are looking

for South Street Seaport.

You see a kid like Breanna,

who wants to be around other kids

and you can just see them wanting

to talk and wanting

to build that relationship.

Great, one more time?

Have you been here before?

No.

Go ahead and ask.

Ask a little bit louder.

What's your favourite colour?

Obviously, we would love

to get her out of her whisper

but the whisper

is really secondary.

The first step is just

getting them talking

and expanding their talking to other

situations and other people.

We would love for James to have just

a friend to talk to.

He can't go through life alone.

So hopefully he can find one person

to play with and one

person to speak to.

I can't imagine going through life

and not having a friend.

You want to try to do...

I make a statement and you guys ask

something back to me

and then back to you...

A lot of these kids just

really can't have a simple

conversation with another peer.

And so the last couple of days

is going to be a lot

of work around that.

If we're hanging out

and I say...

"I can't wait for my vacation

in a couple of weeks."

Talk about what you guys

would say or ask back to me.

I want to learn how to go up

to people because sometimes I want

more friends than I have.

I prefer to be inside

because it's more peaceful.

I like to watch TV and stay inside.

When was the last time you had

a conversation like that,

with two people that

you don't really know?

It's been a while!

How long is a while?

A couple of years.

Do you want to stay in touch

with Emily after We Speak?

Yeah.

What did you do

that was really cool?

I hung out with other kids.

You hung out with other kids

outside of We Speak.

And this was for

the partner project.

Annalisa blows me away.

You know how anxious she is,

you know what it's like for her

and she was just up there in front

of an entire class.

Did you guys go to the museum

with your parents or

without your parents?

Without.

Without your parents.

Did you guys talk in the museum

or were you silent?

We talked about the flavours

on the High Line.

We then talked about

the flavours we love.

Everyone could hear her and she

answered everyone's questions.

APPLAUSE.

You become very attached to them.

You become very invested in them.

And once you start to see

them make progress,

you want to keep going with them.

Every one of them, just work and try

new things and face their fears.

Annalisa.

APPLAUSE.

I'm so lucky to get

to hang out with her.

We made a million

bracelets together!

Annalisa, I don't believe talks

to anybody in school.

So if she is able to start

the new school year able

to raise her hand and say here,

then the kids in the class

know that she can talk.

That would be the first time

the kids in the class

ever hear her voice.

That is massive progress.

I have to say, when I saw her little

presentation, it almost

brought tears to my eyes.

I was very happy.

I know that she's going to work

really hard and I'm very

confident that going forward,

this is a new chapter in her life.

Emily.

APPLAUSE.

I am proudest of her today for

helping to facilitate conversation.

How would you feel if I told

you that Emily today kind of lead

a conversation in front

of the other girls?

I am surprised and thrilled.

Hopefully it means she realises

that she can do it and that she can

go back to school and have

conversations.

Don't act like you didn't do it,

take credit for it!

How does that feel,

having done that today?

It feels good.

And exciting.

This is not a cure for these kids.

This is the start of their journey

to overcome and challenge their SM.

What would it be like if everyone

could hear you talking out loud?

I don't know.

I think she'll probably start

by texting, which is great.

She's never done that, either.

It seems minor but it's a big deal!

Shake hands!

Amazing!

We were being fully engaged

and playing Monopoly.

James' mom actually emailed me last

night and she said that James

and Breanna were emailing each other

back and forth last night.

Several exchanges about

their shared interests.

So this is it, this

is what it's all about.

I never thought that James would be

able to stand up at the end.

Just even standing in front

of 20 parents and getting

a certificate, not speaking.

I mean, that was impressive.

I was concerned that

he might not speak.

It does look like they are tiny

steps, but in reality

for James, they are huge,

enormous, great leaps.