Episode 3 The Mart

Farming is a risky business. SHEEP BAAS

315. 318.

And when it's time to make money, the stakes are high.

Thainstone Mart, one of Europe's biggest livestock markets.

We have 80 there. 81 there.

Sheep, cattle and machinery

auctioned to the highest bidder day in, day out.

Farmers spend months getting ready for the big sales day.

With livelihoods on the line,

their animals have to look just right.

This is the thing that puts the food on the table,

of course, I'm nervous.

Young lady...

Fortunes can be made and dreams can be dashed...

..all in the blink of an eye.

It's just another day at work.

Welcome to the Mart.

It's late summer at Thainstone.

And in today's programme...

auctioneer Finlay is under pressure to get top prices

at the Pedigree Ram Sale.

Better. A wee bit better.

Will a bust up among the Blackhall family sheep

make them less attractive to buyers?

The butterflies are starting, yes.

We're wondering what we'll do in the ring.

And it's all hands on deck...

..when highly strung cattle arrive to be auctioned in Caithness.

Felt safer in a cage of lions.

Can the Mart team get local farmers top prices...

Watch your back, watch your back.

..and escape unscathed?

Watch your back.

Early morning and the back of house team is dividing up sheep

due to be sold today.

-SHEEP BAA

-138, 139, they're going to pen 21.

It's been a poor summer for Scotland's farmers.

And the Mart team needs to pull out all the stops

to help their customers get top prices.

So, sheep auctioneer Finlay McIntyre regularly visits farmers

due to sell at Thainstone to give them advice.

I can safely say, hand on heart, my customers,

I respect them because I respect what they do,

I respect what they do in the climate and how they do it.

The summer was pretty grim and generally in agriculture,

people would be hard up.

So there's a lot of stress this year.

I like to think I try and go the extra mile.

I always feel like it's almost my stock that I'm selling.

As long as you know you're making the effort,

and you're there when they need you.

SHEEP BAA

Finlay's destination is the Blackhall family farm,

near Banchory.

Go on, lads. Go on.

There, sheep farmers Rodney and his wife, Gillian,

are rounding up their pedigree rams, or tups, for Finlay's inspection.

So far, so good.

If I get the right ones in here, it will be a bonus.

Rodney hopes to sell a dozen of his Texel tups

at the Mart's Pedigree Ram Sale in five days' time...

He's been breeding Texels for 20 years.

They're just a lot less maintenance than some breeds.

The rams dinnae need to be prepared with a lot of trimming

and clipping before they're sold.

They look the part, they're a breed to have.

Rodney is very passionate about his sheep.

Go on, boys.

He strives for perfection.

I'd think, most breeders, you know,

are looking to breed the perfect sheep.

One fit and healthy tup can father hundreds of lambs...

Yeah. Hi, Finlay.

..so buyers will be looking for strong back legs

and a lust for life.

Aye, that's a number one.

It's a fair lad, this lad here.

-That's a number one.

-He's got his legs in all the right places.

He has a fair bit of character about him, that sheep, too.

He's not just a...

Slouch. No, no, he has a bit of go about him. Yeah.

Aye, what ends, they've got on 'em.

Skin's so important, and then the carcass is so important.

That's one thing Rodney's aye got spades -

good carcasses and good skins.

-Wee bit of stretch about them.

-And stretch. Aye, rib.

Plenty rib. So, that's my kind of sheep.

-Yeah, long and clean.

-Long and clean and bare.

And a big end on him.

Rodney's worked hard to get his sheep in top shape.

He'll need to at least match last year's price of £750 per tup

to cover costs and pay upcoming bills.

If we can be on a par with last year,

I'll be quite happy with the way things are.

-Well...

-But, well...

-..we can but try.

We want to give folk a feather in their bonnet,

but the coins are no' falling just as in favour

as what we'd like it this year.

Things are a little bit more under pressure.

For getting animals ready for a ram sale, it's a lot of work.

I mean, you look at Rodney there,

every night of the year he has to think about his tups.

He's got to get them clipped early,

he's got to get them dosed, mineralised.

You know, the work never stops.

-RODNEY:

-Go on.

In fact, it's barely started.

Rodney's taking his tups for a presale scrub up.

Daughters Emma and Kirstie are rounded up too,

and Team Texel swings into action.

We're going to give these sheep the beauty treatment.

It's a bit like a hair salon for a sheep.

We make them try and look as good as we can.

We don't want them looking sleepy.

Perfect.

He's been my favourite one. Big hindquarters here.

Good, deep gigot on him and plenty of width as well.

-How's he looking front end, Emma?

-Fine.

Not bad. I don't think is too enamoured with that, is he?

You're always trying to breed the best you can,

and the proof of that is when you go to the sale.

You know all you can do is do your best

because that's the joys of farming.

We don't ever really know what we're going to get.

And I hope to make a good price

cos I really need a new pair of leggings.

They've seen better days.

A new day at Thainstone and a big machinery sale is underway.

MESSAGE OVER LOUDSPEAKER

Once a month, the Mart auctions heavy-duty vehicles and equipment.

Ten to the blue. £10 bid.

From JCBs and tractors...

16. 1,600 bid.

..to dumpers and lawnmowers,

over 4,000 lots to get through.

3,200, £3,200.

Head yardsman Robbie Cruickshank and his team

must collect the keys for every vehicle and piece of machinery.

But there's a problem.

A key's missing.

There's one who's never up because it's nae marked down in the book.

That set of keys needs to be found fast,

or the Shogun's owner will miss his slot.

We're going to see if we can find this key.

But Thainstone is a 350-acre site.

Robbie has a lot of ground to cover and not much time.

Still not found our keys.

Have you seen the key?

I'll go up to the office and have a look,

-see if something's...

-Well, we've had a look.

-Oh, you've had a look?

-We can't find it there.

So, it's maybe wandered back down to the main office.

I just hope it's down there. I'll go in there and ask.

A Shogun for you, one of the Thursday night sales.

With no luck in the main office,

Robbie hopes one man might hold the key to unlocking the mystery,

vehicle yardsman, Davey.

Davey here, Jody?

There's keys missing for a Jeep, and he might know something about it.

Is he up here?

OK, on the move again.

No, I cannae see him.

The car's auction slot is minutes away.

And as far as Robbie's concerned, the Shogun must go on.

Over in the pens, a fresh batch of sheep is arriving to be sold.

Suffolk yearlings, round to the exhibition hall, please.

With 750 tups expected,

it's going to be a busy day for Finlay and the team.

We're getting there, getting there.

The grim weather is good news for sellers.

Farmers won't be harvesting,

so they're more likely to come to the sale.

It's ideal conditions for a tup sale.

It's raining, so nobody else will be doing very much the day.

We cannae put our hands in their pockets and pull the money out,

but hopefully, if they're here

and they're needing tups, they'll get them.

More potential buyers will be welcome news for the Blackhalls,

arriving with their 12 two-year-old Texel tups.

But the good news ends there.

The tups have been in the wars, and that might affect their price.

Oh, that is a mess. Aye, well done, well done.

-We'll clean it up.

-Well, we'll have to...sticky plaster.

And unfortunately, you can see the tups have been boxing a bit.

There's a bit of competition between them to see who's boss.

Boys will be boys.

Texels don't have any horns,

so when they box, it tends to be the top of their skulls

that it splits open.

Cos there's four of us here, I'm going to be the head stock myself,

I'll just hold them. I think he's saying, "Do you have to?"

Back at the machinery sale,

Robbie's managed to track down elusive yardsman, Davey.

Mind the traffic.

And Davey's given Robbie a new lead.

We're going way down to the compound where they store all the cars.

There's a wee office down there,

I think the keys might be down there, hopefully.

There's just enough time for the Shogun to catch the auction.

When they employ somebody here, they say,

"If you're fast, you're sure to last.

"If you're slow, you'll have to go."

Eureka!

That's it. What a boost.

At least the key was in a safe place.

Well, somebody's taken it back in their pocket

and just put it down there by mistake.

When you're handling so many keys,

there's bound to be an odd mistake now and again.

Bingo.

Now, all Robbie has to do is drive the car to the sale.

It's the right key, but there's no power.

We'll have to jump-start her now.

ENGINE STARTS

That's it, success.

We're going to sell it now.

Perfect. When's it going under the hammer?

Mission accomplished for Robbie.

Surely nothing can go wrong now.

AUCTIONEER LEADS BIDDING

The reserve price is £2,000.

At 1,500, come on, wave out.

At 1,500, 1,500,

£1,500. All done?

£1,500. I'm sorry, it's below my instructions, take her out.

Maybe the Shogun wasn't destined to be sold after all.

Over in the sheep ring,

Finlay is struggling to get the Pedigree Ram Sale

started on time.

It's not working.

Sandy, could you turn that mic, the back pen microphone on,

could you ,please?

-OVER MIC:

-Ready to start the sale of Bluefaced Leicesters,

Bluefaced Leicesters in ring three.

Bluefaced Leicesters in ring three, thank you.

You get a wee bit of the shakes before you go in,

but it's a good thing, keeps you sharp.

I'll shoot round here.

Pensive. Pensive. A wee bit pensive.

I'll just have to work away quietly and see what they do.

The Blackhalls have tried to patch up their tussling tups.

Have they done enough to save the day?

Farming's an unusual business.

When we buy stuff, we're told what price it is,

but when we sell, we're very much vulnerable to where the market is.

And at the moment, with every different sector of farming

going through a very difficult time,

there was never going to be as much money floating about at this sale.

It's difficult because you've got bills to pay

that never seem to get any less, but you just have to manage.

But anyway, we're still quite optimistic.

We won't be all doom and gloom until it happens.

The butterflies are starting.

We're just wondering what we'll do in the ring.

Come on, boys.

Will the Blackhalls get the £750 per tup they need

to cover their costs and feed the rest of their flock over winter?

They've done everything they can, now it's down to Finlay.

Lot number 84. Big powerful sheep here, again,

from this good home this time.

Each tup is shown separately to allow him to strut his stuff

and catch a buyer's eye.

FINLAY LEADS BIDDING

Lot number 84. Now, that's one big powerful brute of a boy

here this time. Full of scouth, how about that? 500, 550,

600, 650.

650, I'm bid. 650, 650, 650, 650 700.

700, now I'm bid, 700. 750.

750, 800. 800, I've been bid, 800.

800, 850,

850, 850.

850, I've a bid at 850 and done then. 850.

That's a good start,

but next, one of the bashed up tups enters the ring.

He's a big scouthy lad.

Look at that, look at the skin of that lad now -

bare as a badger.

It starts now at 550, I'm on a bid 550.

550, 550.

At 550, 550, 550, 550,

600, 600, 600,

650, 650, 650, 650, 700, 700.

700. All bid at 700, 700.

The last-minute patch ups did the trick.

In total, the Blackhalls tups make well over £8,000,

with the highest average prices of the entire sale.

Thanks very much. Well done, ladies. Thank you very much.

Good. Yeah, that was fine.

It went quite well,

on the day when a lot of the prices are not quite so good.

Mum made a good job of putting them in.

I think it's all down to Mum putting them in.

-It's the brushing up the hips, that's what does it.

-Yeah.

Very happy with how things have gone the day.

Good sheep, they've got good price,

and I think most people will be fairly satisfied

with how they've done.

-Well done, everyone.

-Yeah.

Yeah, I think I'll need a dram the night.

Thainstone also runs satellite auction houses.

200 miles north, in Caithness,

Quoybrae is the last mart to survive in the area.

Local farmers, like Iain Gunn, rely on its services to make ends meet.

It's a nice morning, for a change.

Iain hopes to sell 48 young beef cattle

at the big Caithness annual sale tomorrow.

There's a lot of contented farmers when the weather is good

on a morning like this,

and you see the cattle grazing in the fields chewing their cud.

Some of them just laying back in the sunshine.

We haven't had many mornings like this, this summer.

Poor grazing has forced Iain to invest in specialist food

to fatten them for the sale.

It's a more expensive fattening process,

but just the year that we've had, we've got to work round it.

Our main income is on sale day.

You're really trying to get them in as good a condition as you can.

So, Iain's bringing them in

to spruce them up before the big day,

but his Belgian Blue and Limousin cross-breeds

can be a real handful.

Inside, inside.

You don't normally go around there but trust him.

Watch yourself.

Limousin especially - a highly strung animal.

Helping Dad out with the lively herd, 14-year-old Ben

and his younger brother, Craig, who's 12.

Wild. She's probably bred from a Limousin or something.

She just wants company.

Well, I used to be scared of them, but I'm not as scared any more.

Right, Ben, you can open up, if you want.

We're about to take them into a pen,

which will lead them into our cattle race.

My dad will clip them and get them all ready for the show.

Iain's going to enter four of his best beasts

in the presale show.

Prizes there can lead to higher bids in the auction.

Cross-bred bullock Malky is one of the chosen ones.

Showtime, we'll maybe just give him a wee comb

just to exaggerate the fact

that he's got a good backside on him, really.

But Iain's worried the rest of his cattle

aren't fat enough to make decent money.

So, he's asked mart auctioneers John Bremner and Stuart Slessor

to give them the once over.

That'll be good carcass cattle when they're finished.

-A lot of buyers coming up?

-There's plenty interest, Iain, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Especially for this kind of stock.

-Is that right?

-For the good stuff.

-Aye, aye. Yeah.

You're going to present them well, and you've been trimming them,

and I think you would be speaking roughly about 900-odd quid, Iain.

Aye. Aye.

Iain's cattle are looking good for the spring and summer they've had,

but he has been giving them a little extra than a trough.

That kind of quality - they've got the length, they've got the shape -

they'll be good carcasses when they're finished.

A thumbs up from John is a big relief,

but Iain isn't out of the woods yet.

If his boisterous beasts misbehave in the ring,

it could cost him dear.

Back at Thainstone, in the Porterhouse restaurant,

preparations have started early for a pedigree sheep club's

annual dinner this evening.

Auctioneer Finlay has been asked to make a speech,

but he's a nervous public speaker,

so he's practising on colleagues, Rory and Tim.

Listen to these jokes and tell me what you think.

What are you doing?

I'm away to speak at the Suffolk club dinner the night,

-up the stairs.

-They must be getting desperate.

They must be hard up for folk. I'm going to say,

"Aye, through the winters, I only survived by wearing hand-me-downs.

"It wouldn't have been so bad, but I had three big sisters."

WOMAN LAUGHS

-OK.

-I'm sure you'll be fine, Finlay.

You won't be asked to do it again, so...

That's all right, thanks for your moral support.

Looks like Finlay needs some new material.

Over in Caithness,

auctioneer Stuart is checking in cattle for the big sale.

Getting a bit of excitement now, we're getting closer to the sale.

After weeks of building up to it, it's finally the big day.

With 1,200 cattle expected, head yardsman Robbie Cruickshank

and his Thainstone team have been drafted in to help.

It's a different way of life up here.

It's like down a gear up here, like.

There's always tomorrow up here.

Also just arrived,

the Gunn family with their four best beasts for the presale show.

Time for a last-minute makeover.

They actually quite like this brush up when they get used to it.

The show starts.

All the bullocks, also called stots,

parade in front of the judge.

He's made his decision...

The pairs of bullocks. Go to the Blue stots here.

..and it's good news for the Gunns.

Got Reserve Champion and First Prize Bullock here today.

We're all delighted. It's been a good morning,

successful so far, and now we're looking for a good price.

And Iain's more likely to get a good price,

if the potential buyers have a decent breakfast.

That's where Joanna Mackay

and the renowned Caithness catering team come in.

It's quite hectic today because it's a big sale.

I absolutely love baking and cooking,

so when my family left home, I got roped in to come here.

Auctioneer John needs to build up his strength, too.

There's already been porridge first thing in the morning,

but we're now going to have a pie.

There should be quite a lot of buyers through there, hopefully,

and it'll help the Caithness economy

because this year the weather has been pretty rotten,

and we need everything we can get.

John's fuelled up and raring to go.

The auction begins.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this show and sale.

Senior mart auctioneer John Angus

has also come up from Thainstone to help.

The buyers we get up in Caithness, they're serious buyers.

-Are you needing anything?

-Can I get a...?

The tea lady will come around with the teas and the pies about 11.30,

so they don't have to leave the ringside.

It's not just the catering team that needs to be on top form.

Robbie and his crew have their hands full

moving the sometimes cantankerous cattle from pen to ring.

And there's no prizes for guessing whose beasts

cause the yardsmen most problems.

Splitting Iain's highly strung herd into smaller pens

-to be sold separately... ROBBIE:

-Come on! Come on!

..is no easy task.

Hey! Hey!

But Iain thinks they'll soon be on their best behaviour.

Once they're in their pens, they settle down,

and Robbie here, he knows what he's doing.

He's been coming up here for years.

I've seen them worse, like. Aye, murderous.

There's some of his cattle, you'd have felt safer in a cage of lions.

But it's not just Iain's beasts that are feisty.

Caithness cattle have a reputation for taking no prisoners,

especially in the auction ring.

Watch your back! Watch your back!

Ha, they're off!

Iain's first lot should give the team in the ring

a well-deserved breather.

He's selling a short-horned heifer on its own

to try to boost its price.

Iain needs to average £900 per beast today to break even.

AUCTIONEER STARTS BIDDING

980, 1,100...

Iain's already £200 in profit, and it gets even better.

1,350, 1,400,

1,450, 1,450, 1,480,

1,500,

1,500, 1,500,

1,550.

1,550, 1,550,

1,600, 1,600.

1,600.

Thank you.

So far, so good.

And Iain's prizewinners do well, too.

1,180.

But his last pen could undo all that good work.

If his temperamental heifers kick-off in the ring,

they might go unsold.

800, 810.

AUCTIONEER CONTINUES THE BIDDING

50, 60, 70,

80, 890, 900,

910, 910.

910, 910,

910, 910,

910, if you're all finished.

910.

Iain's last pen was on best behaviour,

helping his total reach nearly £46,000,

5,000 more than he hoped for.

Well, there's a bit of prize-money, boys, keep you going.

And there's the £70 prize-money to collect as well.

You'll be able to get two with that.

A good day for the Gunn family

and a good day for Robbie and his team, too.

They return to Thainstone with no broken bones.

Back at the Suffolk sheep dinner, guest speaker Finlay is worried.

His audience is arriving in droves.

I'm nervous tonight. If I make a bad job of it,

I'm going to make myself look like a neep, so...

-You've not got any grey hair yet, so...

-No, I know.

I like to hear people laugh, so that's nice, if you can.

Maybe I won't the night, but it's nice if you can.

-Right, are you ready to roll?

-I'm ready to roll.

Ready to rock and roll.

Fellow auctioneer Colin Slessor is on hand for support.

-I'm pleased to see you've had your hair cut anyway.

-I know.

It's tidied the job up a bit.

-Cow's lick, Dandy brush...

-Aye.

-..talcum powder.

-Aye, the cows should have finished it off,

it's just licked one side.

-Right, OK.

-Thank you.

-You'll be fine, you'll be fine.

APPLAUSE

I'll now hand over to Finlay.

Thank you, sir.

Well, Mr Chairman, ladies and gentlemen,

I'd like to thank you all for your kind invitation here tonight.

I was having a wee pep talk with Colin there before I started,

and he said, "I hope it's no too long."

So, I've abridged chapter four for yous.

The last place I did an after-dinner speech,

I got a standing ovation.

So, it's always a pleasure to speak at the Knockando district

of the National Hemorrhoid Society.

LAUGHTER

With the crowd on his side, Finlay's on a roll and the jokes flow.

He even risks the gag that bombed earlier.

Talk about poverty, I knew poverty.

The only way I survived the winters was by hand-me-downs.

It wouldn't have been so bad, but I had three big sisters.

LAUGHTER

Ladies and gentlemen, I would just like to say that

I'm very, very honoured to have been asked to speak to yous tonight.

The show of sheep up here is absolutely first-class,

and I always admire all your hard work and efforts

every time you bring sheep to the Mart here.

I hope your ears aren't bleeding too much,

and I'll see you again some other time. Thank you very much.

Well, I think he did well.

I think he was very good.

Absolutely brilliant.

He's hopeless as an auctioneer, Finlay.

You can't understand a word he says, like.

But he's been clear tonight, he's been really brilliant.

I was a wee bit nervous but not too bad.

You've got to enjoy what you do,

and I'm fortunate that I do enjoy what I do.

It's always better to try leave somebody

with a feather in their bonnet than a sore head.

It's a triumph for Finlay,

but tomorrow he'll be swapping quips and gags

for tups and gimmers when he's back in the ring once more.

Next time on The Mart...

Here we go.

..Colin and his team face their most challenging sale of the year -

rare breeds day...

Come on, get down and catch it.

Come on. Good lads, get in there. Come on, boys.

..a farmer selling sheep for the first time

hopes a spray tan might boost his chances...

It's amazing what that sheep will look like

once it's had a wee tidy up.

..and there's a life or death sale at the car auction.

That's why we're here to sell the car,

to save dogs like Zach and Snuggles.

Will a Porsche go for enough cash to save an animal sanctuary?