Brexit Means Brexit: The Unofficial Version

Brexit means Brexit, and we're going to make a success of it.

Well, what DOES it mean?

For the last year, it's meant a battle for the soul of Britain,

and I've been on the inside of it.

We did it!

CROWD CHEERS

It's a battle where passions run high...

Just punch him.

..where nothing is certain...

To put it mildly, it's gone tits up.

..even when victory seems assured...

We know who wears the trousers in this party - it's Theresa May,

and they're whatever trousers she wants.

..but, above all, it's a battle at the highest levels of government...

To pretend that it's going to be plain sailing

is such knuckleheaded lunacy it makes one wonder

why anyone who thinks that is in politics.

..a battle whose rumbles and murmurings

I've captured at every turn.

I'm at Britain's most famous street

to see the nation's most powerful couple being turfed out by Brexit.

Glamorous young things are to be replaced by order,

clarity and certainty...

..and that's the last we see and hear of the new PM

and her ministers for months.

From behind the net curtains,

word seeps out that Brexit will be no bother.

Underway by next March without any debate,

without any opposition and without any election.

But Brexit has a way of proving everyone wrong.

ALL CHANT AND SING

In a blow to the new PM,

Appeal Court judges rule that Parliament has got a right

to debate Brexit after all.

Hearing a case brought by a private citizen,

model turned hedge funder Gina Miller.

The Daily Mail, well, they're looking at the judges

who took that decision...

The decision immediately stirs a powerful newspaper to anger.

..tore into "an unelected panel of out of touch judges".

This is something we'll be discussing...

The Daily Mail is an absolute disgrace.

They should be ashamed of themselves.

They have taken political reporting to the gutter in this country.

Engaging in bully boy tactics that is dangerous for democracy.

I think that was the most disgraceful and disgusting headline

I have read in my entire life -

that the judges in this country are the enemies of the people.

They are actually the guarantors of the freedom of the people

and I think it was a disgusting headline.

Have you said so to them?

I have said so to them, in terms, and said so all day long

for those who have bothered to read it on my absurd Twitter account.

LAUGHTER

22,100 followers, please note.

The judges' decision ends Mrs May's Parliamentary honeymoon,

encouraging a handful of Tory Remain MPs to have another crack.

The Government has so far resisted any even meaningful debate

to take place in Parliament about our future relationship with the EU.

Why? I don't know.

What are they frightened of?

This into the terrified of allowing members of Parliament -

A, that we can't have a vote,

and secondly, they seem to be determined

that we can't even debate and discuss the fundamental principles.

Anna's defiance enrages the Tory Brexiteers,

never shy about having a row.

Yeah, but you have to remember, come of the Remoaners

in the Conservative Party,

they're very bruised from the referendum.

They not only lost the referendum, they lost Government office

and if you wanted to be cynical, as I might be at this moment,

you'd say that their only way back into high Government office,

probably any time soon,

is if Brexit's a complete economic disaster,

and you really have to see everything they say

and everything they do through the prism of that self interest.

Quite honestly, I think Theresa May understands

that if we let the people down on delivering Brexit -

and proper Brexit, not staying in the single market -

the political landscape is so volatile

that, you know, the politicians who appear on the scene

over the next five or 10 years, if we let the people down,

will make Farage and Trump look like moderates.

Around the globe, Brexit upends the old order -

no cosy international diplomacy, a wholly new type of leader.

TRANSLATED FROM FRENCH:

Behind those net curtains, Mrs May and her team

say some very disobliging things about Donald Trump,

confident he can't win.

Sorry to keep you waiting. Complicated business. Complicated.

The President-elect wastes no time in repaying her snub.

He suggests one of Mrs May's oldest, bitterest foes

as UK ambassador to Washington.

The man he calls Mr Brexit.

Come here, come here, Nigel. Come here. This guy.

You know, they go around calling me Mr Brexit,

and I said, there's only one, really. How are you, Nigel?

It's a pleasure to meet you. What a great win.

Thank you very much.

To the Government's consternation,

they discover this isn't entirely a joke.

Trump thinks he owes his victory

to Farage's anti-establishment template.

We'll see you in a couple of seconds. Thank you.

What a great honour.

He has suggested, of course,

that I become the UK's ambassador in Washington.

Now, I'm told the wine cellar's very good...

It's not going to happen, is it? It's not going to happen, but...

But, sensibly, I do know a lot of the team,

who are taking quite senior places in the administration.

I've known some of them for years.

Surely there's something I can do to help cement relations

between an administration in Britain who've been rude about Trump,

and him as the incoming president.

I mean, common sense says there's something I can do.

We're at Nigel's favourite Mayfair restaurant.

11:30am, time for a sharpener.

Rumours swirl that Brexiteers in the new Government

want him made a Lord and put in the Cabinet.

Mrs May backs the Remain side, but does so in a very lukewarm manner.

She then becomes the Prime Minister and says, "Brexit means Brexit."

I think, "Gosh, this is good, I like the sound of this. This is great".

And then five months go by and nothing happens.

I want to see some direction,

because I'm hearing this new Chancellor fellow,

Hammond is his name, no-one knows who he is, saying we

might stay in the customs union,

Boris saying we're definitely leaving.

The left-hand and the right-hand

clearly are not quite sure what's going on.

I'm worried they're going to fudge it.

Now only four months to go till that Brexit deadline.

Cabinet members mutter to me about "Kim Jong May",

about it being her way or no way.

Sure enough, she appeals the judges' decision,

going all the way to the Supreme Court.

It's the first major test of her Government.

Her opponent stays publicly silent.

It's pretty intense.

"We know where you are, we know where you live,

"you're traitors," I need to be a second Jo Cox,

and all this sort of stuff has started up again.

Some senior police round the house last night,

who put in panic alarm systems all around the house,

because the worry now is that if anyone discovers our home address.

This Gina Miller... Yes. ..woman is now...

"Oh, people are being nasty to me, I've had a death threat."

I've got 10 death threats in there I've had this week,

which I've sent to the Metropolitan Police -

and do you know what they'll do? Nothing.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

So, this has all been presented,

that Brexit has led to a rise in hate crime

and all this appalling behaviour -

yeah, I'm sure a few louts have behaved pretty badly since Brexit.

I suspect they were behaving pretty badly before Brexit,

to be honest with you - but the hate that's being put against us,

on our side of the argument, that story isn't getting a look in.

I think the trouble is, with people like Nigel Farage,

I'm actually not sure that you can have, any longer,

a sensible, reasoned conversation with them. That's what worries me.

If he would like a one-way ticket to America,

and continue his campaigning and his work in America,

I'm sure I could organise a whip-round.

In fact, I'd probably pay for that one-way ticket myself.

Day two of the hearing.

It's looking increasingly likely that Mrs May is going to lose.

Her barrister, top QC David Pannick, trounces the Attorney General.

I thought Lord Pannick's case was absolutely magnificent.

I watched it here - I should've been writing letters -

and I watched it here,

and he was as smooth as a Vaselined otter, I thought.

He was absolutely wonderful.

I mean, it was a privilege to watch that

and I just do not see the Supreme Court

overturning the judgment of the lower court. I don't see it.

ALL CHANT: Theresa May, hear us say, immigrants are here to stay.

Public gain, private pain.

There's a cost to all this.

I got home last night to find out

that the police had made an arrest last night,

and the charge is inciting violence.

The police decide to keep the arrest quiet

for fear of triggering more dangerous incidents.

To my surprise, it's a fear the Brexiteers turn out to share -

if for rather different reasons.

Oh, the consequences of not delivering Brexit

would be extremely serious in the country at large.

In 1832, the Duke of Wellington had to put iron shutters in his windows

because the great hero of Waterloo was being pelted with stones

by people who thought he was obstructing reform.

It is very, very rare in British history

that the British people have taken to the streets

over a denial of democracy,

but it is not impossible.

In this fevered environment,

the Labour Party decide they would like to take advantage

of the divisions opening up in the hitherto impregnable Government.

We may have said one thing one day, another thing the next day,

and then, usually, on the third day,

a spokesperson says, "We haven't decided".

I think the Prime Minister is struggling

with the different elements in her party

who have been fighting over Europe for 40 years.

The future of this country is bound up with these negotiations.

Keir asked that the Government satisfying five conditions

before Brexit.

I discover he's been privately assured

that a bunch of Tories are ready to rebel.

The vote on the 23rd of June

was not a vote to write those that voted to remain

out of their own history.

Brexit or no Brexit, politics is eternal -

the assurances are worthless.

There's only one unrepentant Tory rebel.

..to leave the European Union.

I think the truth is -

and yesterday's debate confirmed this in my mind,

that nobody - probably from the Prime Minister downwards -

has the first idea how events are going to unfold next year.

We're on an unknown journey.

They have no agreement on any important feature of policy

between themselves.

Their policy wouldn't fill one side of A4 at the moment,

and they're still discussing it.

Trouble piling up for the PM.

Final day at the Supreme Court.

To my nonlegal eyes, it's not looking good.

At four o'clock, the Law Lords retire for their verdict.

Gina Miller poised for victory -

a victory the ever-loyal Brexiteers are already decrying.

I think the, "This is a day of history"

is a good thing to say at the top of the six o'clock news

to encourage people to carry on watching until 6:25,

but isn't necessarily more profound than that.

Has Mrs Miller spent her money wisely?

That's a matter for Mrs Miller. People have all sorts of hobbies.

Some people like yachts, some people like being litigants,

and clearly, Mrs Miller likes being a litigant.

It's absolutely worth it.

Why would anybody want to make themselves a celebrity

so that you get death threats?

At the end of the day, you attack the person -

not the policies or the arguments - when have nowhere else to go,

and, frankly, they're just cowards.

I'm sorry, be a man - cos most of them are men -

come and talk to me, and find out my motivation.

If you don't have the courage, then just shut up.

This whole portrayal of good v bad - she's good.

She said earlier today that she'd received abuse

for what she'd done, it's because she is black. That's why. Yeah.

Says it all, doesn't it?

Says it all - and yet that gets broadcast -

and, again, we're all meant to think that's true.

Can you imagine the media portraying a story

that I've been unfairly treated because of who I am?

You know, I'll do a press conference -

"I went to a public school and I'm white,

"and that's why they're being beastly to me."

Do you think they'd run that?!

It's Christmas.

Now only three months to go till that Brexit deadline...

..and there's an odd, fashion-oriented sign

of the tension privately gripping Downing Street.

One of the few Tory Remainers

criticises Mrs May's choice of trousers

in a Vogue fashion shoot.

Immediately, the spinners shoot down the former Education Secretary,

banning her from No 10.

The regret is, if you have concerns you should voice them privately

to the Prime Minister, and her team and her office.

Not being asked about them in, you know, a newspaper interview.

We live and learn, and that's the whole point about this...

this thing of politics.

A hint that Number 10's tactics have backfired,

only strengthening her resolve.

It would be nice to see that there,

you know in the early part of 2017, that there is a plan,

that it is published,

that it is there for parliamentary scrutiny,

and that we have it before the Government triggers Article 50.

But for now, Nicky is still a mere speck

in the ocean of Brexiteer joy.

I'm completely happy,

especially after the opposition day debate,

that we have the votes to get it through Parliament.

I don't mind voting to leave the European Union every week.

I mean, it suits me, and it suits my constituents,

and...it will show those members of Parliament, perhaps,

who have a disregard for...

..public opinion and democracy.

But you are a singer, Bridgen?

No, I'm not, but if... You know, I do like singing.

He's so moved he offers to see out 2016 in song.

Give us it. You want it? I want it!

# Even when the stormy clouds are in the sky

# You mustn't sigh

# And you mustn't cry

# Spread a little happiness as you go by. #

Thank you. Great. APPLAUSE

But I hear his happiness isn't universal.

The PM is privately worried about her majority,

a wafer-thin 12,

and increasingly alarmed by mutterings about

what on Earth Brexit does mean.

So on a cold, winter morning,

she sets off for Lancaster House to silence the doubters.

APPLAUSE

As a priority,

we will pursue a bold and ambitious free trade agreement

with the European Union.

It should give British companies the maximum freedom

to trade with and operate within European markets.

But I want to be clear.

What I am proposing cannot mean membership of the single market.

Absolutely delighted.

I think the Euro-sceptics are fully vindicated,

and it's going to go down really well in the country.

I mean, at the end of the day Brexit is going to mean Brexit,

and, you know, a Prime Minister,

a politician actually delivering on

what they've got a mandate from the people to do so, how novel!

I think it might catch on. It will be very popular.

What we do know is... We know who wears the trousers in this party,

and its Theresa May, and they're whatever trousers she wants.

And I don't believe that the EU's leaders will seriously tell...

I thought that it was good.

And I understand from the one ambassador that I have spoken to

this afternoon that they thought it was much better than they feared.

So I think it was good.

Now, I've spoken to Nick Clegg on the way down in the lift,

who believes that it's Hiroshima.

But the Brexiteers are thrilled, with, you know,

front of the queue and all that sort of stuff...

Yes, but the Brexiteers, darling old things, you know, they're...

They're pleased, but it doesn't take much,

you chuck them a bit of red meat

and they have an absolute accident on the spot, you know?

I mean, they're...

But they don't have any idea of how long it takes to do a trade deal.

So are you feeling a bit lonely at the moment?

Oh, I always feel lonely. Hell, I'm a Conservative!

No, no, no.

Being serious, no, not really, you just battle on, don't you?

And Number 10? What are they saying do you?

They don't like to talk to me.

I'm just a mere backbencher.

You know, this place is being excluded from the process,

so your voice is not being heard, especially if you're a 48 percenter.

Brexit was meant to enable the UK to turn to traditional allies,

but things are still no better across the pond.

No date's been set for a first visit by the British PM.

Donald Trump is about to be inaugurated.

He decides to reassert the public importance of HIS British ally.

Oh, wow! Can I get a picture taken with you?

How are you? God bless you. We love you. Oh!

Wonderful.

Nigel grabbed the opportunity to rub Theresa's nose in it.

Welcome to America. That's right. God bless you. You helped us.

Yeah, well, Brexit did... Yeah! Brexit!

Yeah, Brexit! Unbelievable!

So it's just come together, Trump, you and America,

we're all here to see the greatest president.

MUSIC: Se Vuol Ballare by Mozart

Then he invites me to a high society bash.

How do you think this is going down back home?

Well, I hope that the logical conclusion she'll draw

is that actually myself and my friends

have got some fantastic connections here in Washington

that ought to be used.

I'm sure logic will win through.

Right. And how do you think it IS going to go back home?

Oh, terrible.

LAUGHTER

Absolutely sh... I think they're appalled! You know?

MUSIC: Largo Al Factotum by Rossini

It's inauguration day.

How's today?

More like a coronation.

Backstage, Nigel gets the audience the PM can only dream of.

Just two months till Brexit, and I'm back at the Supreme Court.

It's D-Day.

Does Parliament get the say in Brexit

that the PM doesn't want it to have?

A bag of nerves, this morning. Lots of different emotions.

Relieved that it's going to be over, finally,

and I can get my life back,

because I only anticipated it going up to October,

it wasn't supposed to be quite so many months.

I can't think about it about winning,

it's just about the right thing.

I'm thinking about it by righting wrong,

rather than winning or losing,

because I think it's right that we uphold our constitutional law

and that we go to Parliament and the people we elect do their job.

And I think it's wrong of the Government to have thought

that they could just go off and do what they wanted to.

I see she's now a philanthropist. Self-styled, I presume.

That's how the BBC describe her, philanthropist,

so she must be a good person. Mustn't she?

I just find that description of her fascinating.

In broad terms,

Article 50 provides that a country wishing to leave the EU

must give a notice in accordance with

its own constitutional requirements.

Therefore, the Government cannot trigger Article 50

without Parliament authorising that course.

PHONE RINGS It has the opposite effect. Yes.

The referendum is of great political significance.

Of course I'm not, I'm listening to the judgment.

BLEEP. Cretin.

Cretin.

For all the playing to my camera, Farage is an astute politician.

He knows Mrs May has been wounded by today's ruling.

The one thing I'm just beginning to think is

I'd always thought there's no chance of an early general election,

you know, Mrs May's not the kind of person that takes risks

and does things, but I'm just in the last 24 hours beginning to think

that if Copeland goes to the Tories, and if Stoke were to go to Ukip,

you would have a really fatally weakened Labour Party

and that may be her opportunity to go for a spring election.

No general election yet,

but instead a surprise by-election, as a Labour MP resigns,

It's in the very place the Government want.

The Brexit capital of Britain.

It's a pivotal moment in political history.

For Labour, Brexit poses an existential crisis.

It gives the Labour Party a great headache,

because the Labour Party is so deeply split

between its different electoral voting bases.

So its major metropolitan London voting base

is very international, it's very...

pro-European.

It's very much the intellectual elite.

Its voting base outside London,

particularly in the north of England,

was very much at the forefront of wanting to vote to leave,

and they represent seats where 70% voted to leave,

and those two voting bases have been sundered apart,

and it's very hard to bring those two together.

The Labour Party.

I mean, they were hopeless last year in the referendum campaign

and they're hopeless now.

And I actually feel very sorry for friends who are in the

Labour Party because I think they are watching their party

go through its death throes.

Ukip are desperately hoping they'll replace Labour

as the party of opposition, sweeping up their heartland seats.

Privately, Number 10 wouldn't mind that, too.

Ukip's new leader announces he'll stand.

So, how's it going?

It's going really well.

On the doors, very good.

Looking positive.

Opinion poll yesterday's got us six points ahead, so...

You know, we're pretty confident.

And what's happening to the Labour vote?

Well, people all are crying out for change.

That's the one thing which keeps coming back, all the time.

They've had a Labour MP for 50 years,

people now want something better.

The Liberals?

Haven't seen them.

And the Labour guy? Haven't seen him either.

HE LAUGHS

Labour may be a shambles, but it turns out Ukip are no better.

Personality issues gnaw away at their campaign.

The cry goes up.

Bring back the man who's had enough of politics.

Safely back in W1,

it's a rather different, private story.

We've got a very tough couple of weeks coming up.

And I think Ukip...

I think Ukip needs... to make one or two changes.

At the moment, I'm not entirely happy with where we are

but I've got a big meeting with Paul this afternoon.

And don't forget, I mean, I've, you know...

I'm a veteran of these by-elections, I know how it works,

and I would hate to see us lose by 600 votes,

or 1,000 votes, or whatever it is,

because we just hadn't quite done it properly

so, you know, there's still all to play for,

but we're going to have to up our game, slightly.

I didn't lose anybody that day.

You say you lost a close personal friend? No...

Unfortunately, what happens is that Paul Nuttall gets drawn

into another damaging personal row.

January 9th, 2012, on your own site...

Whether he was or was not at the Hillsborough disaster.

It's on your own website, Paul.

The story was twisted, and I am...

pretty disgusted by it, to be honest with you.

I think that this issue should be above politics

and I don't think people should try to score political points from it.

How's it going, candidate?

It's going OK. Yeah...

Interesting weekend for you? I've been under attack.

Sustained attack.

I suppose it's to be expected. It is... This is touch-and-go.

This is really tight, and, you know, they know that.

Proof indeed that it IS touch-and-go, right outside.

I am going to vote against Ukip.

I am one of the very few who voted to stay in the EU.

My father was an immigrant.

And he was the loveliest man you could ever meet.

How dare Paul Nuttall show his face in this city?

Racist, anti-immigration bastard.

The polls close.

Labour win...

853 votes. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

..Ukip lose.

I mean, wouldn't Nigel Farage have done better? Ha-ha! No chance.

No, not at all. No chance?!

For all the bluster, Ukip know they've blown a golden opportunity.

Can all the press get back?

The very next day, a surprise visitor.

Come to bathe in Labour's Lazarus-like escape.

How are you? Lovely to see you, Gareth.

Congratulations, Gareth.

Wonderful result. Wonder... JOURNALISTS CLAMOUR

Wonderful to have you elected, Gareth.

Are you still in favour of a general election?

Can I be the first to come here to come here today to congratulate you

on being elected the new MP for Stoke-on-Trent Central?

APPLAUSE

It doesn't go entirely to plan.

Mr Corbyn? Mr Corbyn? What about Copeland, Mr Corbyn, what do you...?

One thing I've learned about the media is that

you're incredibly rude to each other. Why don't you...

Why can't you learn to be polite to each other?

JOURNALISTS TALK OVER EACH OTHER AND CORBYN

STORM OF CLICKING LENS SHUTTERS

Only a month till Theresa May's Brexit deadline.

Two of her certainties, gone.

Labour are alive,

and Parliament is set to debate Article 50.

We will not be threatened into not fulfilling

our normal constitutional role.

Mrs May's core team couldn't care less.

They know Labour will have to go along with them,

or risk electoral suicide.

It's the opposition INSIDE Government that worries them.

Eventually, one minister breaks rank to talk to me.

This is real, uncharted waters.

The prospect of getting a single collective voice

amongst the 27,

let alone the European Parliament,

and the Walloons, and the potential referenda in one or two countries,

means that the chance of getting

that kind of coherent unanimity we need

around a constructive deal is fraught with difficulty.

And I can't see, at the moment,

any route to a pain-free exit.

I think a lot of people will sort of turn over in the middle of the night

and think, is there a way out of this?

But at the moment, I don't think there is one.

Where are the divisions inside Government?

Tory Remainers resist whips' blandishments and fight on.

I need to look at the numbers, but there were nine of us

who sat out and abstained from the vote

and that was a big block of abstentions

and I think that was noticed.

We wait to see.

This is going to be a long game,

we are at only the start of the whole Brexit process.

We are now properly a group and this is all about putting down markers

so that when the moment comes,

the bigger battles, which undoubtedly will be ahead of us,

hopefully we will gain the support and common sense will prevail.

But Remainers' plucky resistance outside and inside of Government

isn't enough to stop the Brexit juggernaut.

29th of March - Brexit finally means Brexit.

Article 50 is to be triggered.

Cometh the hour, cometh the media.

Cometh a man who has always loved

and benefited from the limelight.

You've been triggered.

LAUGHTER

OPERA MUSIC PLAYS

It's almost as though Stoke never happened.

How are you, all right? Thank you so much... Good man.

It's very nice to see you again. Well, it's great to be here.

MAY: The Article 50 process is now under way.

Britain is leaving the European Union.

We are going to make our own decisions and our own laws.

Nigel, you have a pint in your hand

and Theresa May's letter in your other hand - are you a happy man?

Oh, very happy. Look, today for me

was the day that the impossible dream came true.

What do you want to say to French people today? Come and join us.

Take back your independence! Come on in, the water's lovely.

Joy, however, is not entirely unconfined.

OK, right, hello. Hello, enjoying yourself?

Yes, well, I have just been asked to nominate what song I want to have

on the radio in a moment when I do it. Someone is saying Ode to Joy.

The day has arrived, the phoney war is over.

Now the negotiations start.

THEY SING: Ode to Joy

Yes, an excellent day. The process is now under way.

So as you ripped the covers off this morning,

what was your first thought?

My first thought, erm...

Oh! Salve festa dies toto venerabilis aevo.

Which I can even play for you, actually.

I've been listening to this. Here we go.

GREGORIAN CHANT PLAYS What is it?

Hail, festal day, venerable through all ages.

It just seems to me an entirely appropriate theme for Brexit.

Because we are finally getting out of the European Union.

I mean, for people like me - and there are many of us,

there are millions of us - this is a sad day.

However, this is the beginning, not necessarily the end.

It is the beginning of who knows what.

My job is to continue to scrutinise. My fear is that...

What is the one thing we know the hardline Brexiteers don't want?

They don't want time,

because the British people might come to their senses.

Yeah. They might change their mind. I shouldn't be too upset today.

You are though, aren't you? It's just a bit shit, isn't it?

Happy days are here.

Theresa May is walking on air at the moment.

I suggested we went for a snap election

immediately after triggering Article 50

but Number 10 are not going to go for that.

But what do you know?

The last of Mrs May's Brexit certainties crumbles.

She calls a general election, and rams it through Parliament.

I think everyone was taken completely by surprise.

I just did not see that it was going to get through the House of Commons

until she made the decision, and then I thought,

she's going to get this through the House of Commons

because the Labour Party are going to be a bunch of lemmings

and in this massive sort of

sacrificial act of collective suicide,

they are going to vote for an election.

Hoo-hoo. So she has played a blinder and the judgment of getting it

through the Commons, which in my view is the biggest hurdle overcome,

is a stroke of genius.

I'm still a bit disbelieving.

When you are going into those negotiations, you don't want to be

watching your back in Westminster at the same time.

We do have a relatively small majority,

and we do have some Remoaners, as you know,

some irreconcilable Remoaners. But they seem quite reconciled now

from what I have seen the last few days.

A general election does pull the Conservative Party together.

It pulls any party together. Obviously not the Labour Party -

we can't find many Labour MPs

who would actually vote for Jeremy Corbyn to be Prime Minister,

but that's understandable, isn't it?

Newspaper polls give the PM a commanding lead.

Labour's internal ones are even worse.

You voting in the election? I am. Are you voting this way?

Of course. Excellent, excellent.

I'm in Stoke as Eddie Izzard comes to give life support

to two despairing MPs. Hello.

New boy Gareth Snell, and his minder, Ruth Smeeth.

I don't feel like I have stopped from the by-election so this is...

Just as I have started to recover a little bit, off we go.

And this is in my constituency,

well, we will be in my constituency in a minute.

And what are the odds for you? I am currently projected to lose.

By contrast, the leitmotif of the Tory campaign is total control.

The public, and all but the most loyal of the media,

are ruthlessly excluded from all press events.

I am outside the East Midlands launch to hear the faithful.

Theresa gave her rousing speech to launch the campaign

in the Midlands, talking about strong and stable leadership

and the choice that is there.

There was quite a good piece

written by a former Labour MP who is a journalist.

He spoke about John McDonnell, who he said,

despite appearing an affable cove, with his affable exterior,

you can't help but think at night he's making lists of people

who'll be shot straight after the revolution.

Theresa, give us a wave! Go on!

There will be wobbles.

There'll be a wobbly Wednesday and a tetchy Tuesday

and a sort of Thursday tantrum.

It's in the nature of campaigns. But I have to say,

it's pretty steady at the moment.

No-one else is really sort of making any impact, I sense.

There's certainly no threat from UKIP.

I'm at their campaign press launch,

only to see it turn into a disaster.

Why are you putting up racist propaganda?

People are allowed to wear what they like!

Women are... Don't touch me.

Do not touch me. Excuse me, could you please leave?

Women are allowed to wear what they like.

Women are allowed to wear what they like.

SHOUTING

..a racist bigot, fake Scouser...

100 miles east, the party's former leader

may have started the year with the US president

but now, to make ends meet, he is at the end of the pier.

What happened to the protest? Don't know.

Didn't materialise, by the looks. I think there might be

somebody in here who knows. I must be going downhill.

Please put your hands together for Mr Nigel Farage.

APPLAUSE

An Evening with Nigel Farage contains 20 years of hits.

I'll let you into a little secret. Angela Merkel in private

is even more miserable than she appears to be in public.

I am not anti-European at all.

I have married German women.

LAUGHTER

Oh, Juncker, he's... Crikey.

I thought I liked a drink - bloody hell!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

And in private, a rather familiar threat.

At the moment, I have done pretty much all I can do.

And if, the end of this Brexit period, the Government

have not done what the people asked them to do,

then I would have no choice but to don khaki

and head back to the front lines. If that's what it comes to.

In the trenches, it's not looking great for Labour.

Hello, darling, it's Ruth.

Oh, darling, I really wish you hadn't done that.

You know you'd be voting for me, not for him.

But you know... Oh, I know.

It's going well, then(!)

LAUGHTER

He's thrown his postal vote away.

There is unfortunately a bit of a theme at the moment.

At this point I honestly think it'll be just as we heard -

when people have got their ballots in front of them,

I don't think they know yet what they're going to do with them,

whether they think they're voting for me, whether they think

they're voting Labour or whether they think they're voting for

Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn, and I don't think anyone knows yet. Right.

So the count will be fun!

LAUGHTER

But incredibly,

imperceptibly, the polls are tightening.

Labour's leader is a man reborn,

his Brexit trauma a distant memory.

At 12 o'clock in a Reading car park, the crowds flock to him.

Let's give him a round of applause - Jeremy Corbyn...

He even turns Mrs May's refusal to debate him into a positive.

It's very odd that you have an election campaign

where we go out and talk to people all the time

and the Prime Minister seems to have difficulty

in meeting anyone or having a debate, and so...

There is a debate in Cambridge tonight.

I don't know what she's doing this evening,

but it's not far from London, I invite her to go to Cambridge

and debate her policies, debate her record,

debate their plans... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

..debate their proposals and let the...

And let the public make up their minds.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I know it's uncharacteristic of me to say this,

but I think a little bit of humility is due.

I have no idea, I think the idea the Tories are going to get a landslide

of 150 seats is absolute rubbish.

I think we'll get a decent working majority.

Off to Cambridge for said debate, and another hero's welcome.

No Mrs May, of course, just a brave Home Secretary.

BOOING AND JEERING

Eight days remain before we, the electorate, make our choice.

Tonight the representatives of seven parties are here

to make their pitch to our audience here in Cambridge

and to you at home.

Away from the crowd's adulation,

the debate's a sticky experience for Labour's leader.

..we have to stop thinking, as you do,

that there's a magic money tree.

What we need to do is recognise the human rights and justice

of people all around the world...

I want to make sure that we get the right result under Theresa May...

You stood on a platform just about a year ago

saying you thought that Britain

would be safer, stronger and better off in the EU.

THEY SPEAK OVER EACH OTHER

But just turning up has given Labour the PR advantage it needs.

If I was Amber Rudd, I would be on the phone to Theresa May tonight

and say, "Listen, Theresa, I know we're friends,

"but quite frankly,

"I had a really hard time tonight and you really owe me.

"Because you put me in a very difficult position

"and you should have gone and done that job yourself."

OK.

Lots of big smiley faces!

The polls tighten,

Labour make hay with Tory care plans,

alarm is felt in even the bluest of blue seats.

I don't know what the result is going to be any more than you do,

but I suspect the social-care thing put a brake on our progress

and I think it took the froth and the cream off a very big majority.

I worry for the Prime Minister that this could rebound on her.

I wish I knew what it was going to be like on Thursday night.

Somebody peed on my poster.

They don't realise they were caught on CCTV!

SHE LAUGHS

They've trashed our posters.

They've pulled them down, they've put graffiti on.

Bastards!

And yes, I have worn these shoes

throughout the whole of the campaign.

I bought them at the beginning of the campaign,

they're incredibly comfortable. And they're knackered now!

And what about that landslide?

I have no idea.

And even if I did know, I wouldn't share it with you.

I don't know, would I share it with you? No, I think we'll do well.

I think she'll get 50, 80, it could be higher.

Cabinet, who's going to be in that?

I don't know, but I can tell you one thing - I won't be there!

Bet you any money, she'll not have me back!

I won't be back!

Do you know what? I can say this

because you're not going to broadcast it till after -

I wouldn't be surprised if Amber Rudd becomes chancellor.

Boris?

I have no idea. I don't know what's going to happen to Boris.

See, whenever I see Boris, I'm always nice to him

and we always have a lot of fun.

But I do struggle with him as our Foreign Secretary,

I think we do need a big serious grown-up.

We await the start of this last debate between Jeremy Corbyn

and Theresa May in front of an audience of voters,

coming up in about ten minutes' time.

Another sign of Tory nerves.

The Foreign Secretary is brought out

from whatever cupboard he's been hidden in.

I think it's perfectly obvious that...

So you think that's a good deal? ..the Labour Party

do not have a credible... More expensive goods is a good deal?

..for negotiating with the European Union, they are prepared to take...

You've upset most of the European Union.

And I doubt... Can you leave a list of the countries you have not upset

in your drawer when you leave? I doubt very much...

What about the pensions? What about the social-care cap?

Yeah... Punch him.

The leader of the Conservative Party,

the Prime Minister, Theresa May.

The leaders are evenly matched, but in the spin room,

the Tory's attack dog overplays his hand.

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

Sorry, Boris, just a second.

You helped co-ordinate this Labour campaign...

Boris, just a second. BORIS CONTINUES TO INTERRUPT

He's just been shouting in my ear.

Just a bit of peace.

You helped co-ordinate this campaign.

He has never used a food bank - he's never been to a food bank.

Actually, I started several when I was Mayor of London.

You should take that back, old boy. Take it back. Boris...

Sort this out... Hang on a second...

Why don't you take it back? I just want to hear...

He just pointed in my face.

I want to hear... Let's hear from Jeremy Corbyn.

This is what he had to say about that nuclear deterrent.

How do you think it went?

I mean, you know, I thought that... Genuinely,

I thought the Prime Minister's performance was extremely good,

you know, she was crisp, robust, she got all the points across,

and I was very alarmed by Corbyn,

and I think it's extraordinary that at this point in our history,

the Labour Party should have thrown up

this character as their candidate.

Nick Soames thinks we've reached peak Corbyn.

Ah, look, you know, we'll see what happens next week, but...

It's the eve of the election.

And Boris' deputy is every bit as worried as his master.

The mood amongst the voting public I would say has gone sour.

And we've ended up with a campaign

which has begun to make Jeremy Corbyn look credible.

That's not a happy achievement.

Some of the traditional Labour voters who he used to alienate

are now saying, "OK, well, at least he's not a Conservative."

So I think this has closed quite a lot,

and to me, I think the mood is very worrying.

He points the finger firmly at those advising the Prime Minister.

One thing I think has been particularly distasteful is having,

if you like, pre-shuffle briefing,

about who's going to be the next Chancellor -

in the middle of an election campaign?

I mean, this is culpable. This is utterly unacceptable.

I think the animosity towards the sort of coterie

has become very, very, very intense.

And, um...it is a problem.

Whether a really big thumping result would see that go away altogether,

I'm afraid I'm now not sure.

DAVID DIMBLEBY: Over 30,000 people, 144 polling stations

were questioned today.

And by the magic of psephology,

we're able to predict what we think has happened tonight.

BIG BEN CHIMES

And what we're saying is the Conservatives are the largest party.

Note, they don't have an overall majority at this stage. 314...

If those are even vaguely accurate,

then I don't need a concession speech tonight,

which I've just finished writing.

LAUGHTER

I'm delighted if we are a step closer to a Labour Government,

but if we're in a period of instability,

of unstable government, not this strong and stable thing

that she's been pushing... We're renegotiating Brexit.

And because of the arrogance of the Prime Minister,

what happens now, this is, you know, the country,

the world, has never been more scary or unsettled.

When are we going to negotiate our exit?

We have triggered Article 50.

What happens next?

DIMBLEBY: Boy, oh boy, oh boy, are we going to be

hung, drawn and quartered if this is all wrong...

LAUGHTER Yes.

I leave the happy family and belt 60 miles down the road to Beeston.

Counting is just under way, and it looks like Anna is in trouble.

We called this election on the basis we were 20 points ahead.

That we had this astonishing Prime Minister.

Who... We were all her candidates,

she was strong, stable and everything else.

And, to put it mildly, it's gone tits up.

If Theresa is in trouble, the strong and stable leader...

is Jeremy Corbyn.

That landslide that we all predicted, the 90-plus,

isn't going to happen.

It's not just her. Up and down the country, safe seats are falling.

Hello. With more than 90 seats counted in the general election,

Labour have gained three seats -

one from the SNP in Scotland, and three from the Tories.

I'm very upset so many of my good colleagues have lost -

Jane Ellison has lost. Terrible, terrible, terrible. Very sad.

Another shock on a night of shocks.

Nick Clegg, Liberal Democrats, 19,756.

Jared O'Mara, Labour Party, 21,881.

CHEERING

Hang on a moment, I'm sending a text to Nick Clegg. Are you?

What are you saying? I'm not telling you that.

100 miles south, and it's time for the Ruislip result.

The number of votes cast for each candidate is as follows.

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, Conservative Party,

23,716.

His majority halved.

But Boris is still an MP.

And I'm proud to be re-elected as the Member of Parliament

for Uxbridge and South Ruislip. Thank you very much.

Mr Johnson... It's early, it's too early to comment.

For once, he rushes away without talking to the media.

No hostages to fortune if there's going to be a leadership battle.

DIMBLEBY: We have just heard a rumour,

I put it no stronger than that,

that the Tories may be in trouble in Hastings.

It's a tight race there. Amber Rudd.

A certain BBC journalist has just sent me a text saying,

"Many commiserations."

And I replied, "I haven't lost yet!"

He said, "Blimey, misinformed. I'm very embarrassed. Apologies."

But Labour and Tory ARE neck and neck. The clerk orders a recount.

Back in Stoke, both Ruth and Gareth have won against the odds.

Presidential politics doesn't work in this country.

May wanted Theresa versus Jeremy, and what she got was

the Tory party versus the Labour Party

and the Labour Party smashed her.

She can't deliver anything now, she needs to go.

She's lost the election. I just hope that it's not another election.

The likelihood is still there's going to be a Tory Government of some sort,

whether it's a minority or propped up by the DUP.

What there will be is a strong and stable Labour opposition,

I guarantee that.

I need a holiday. I need some sleep.

Joy in the morning in Stoke,

but back down the road, it's still tense.

Soubry, Anna Mary, the Conservative Party candidate,

25,983.

CHEERING

Anna's squeaked it by 800 votes,

and wastes no time in letting me,

and pretty much anyone, know how she feels.

It's a disaster, nationally.

It's absolutely appalling that we called this to increase our majority

and apparently to strengthen the Brexit hand.

Election programme, they want to get you on as soon as, if possible.

Which election programme? The BBC ONE election programme. Yeah.

I think she's in a very difficult place.

She's a remarkable and she's a very talented woman

and she doesn't shy from difficult decisions,

but she now has to obviously consider her position.

A year on, and I'm back at Downing Street,

the PM once again mortally wounded by Brexit

and all it actually means.

Rumours swirl amongst the media.

A very good night,

he did turn the tide in that election against Mrs May.

She's going, she's not. Jeremy Corbyn is measuring the curtains.

Eventually, news seeps out she's off to the Palace,

her government kept in place

by a deal with Ulster's hardline Democratic Unionists.

Back from Her Majesty, in defiant mood.

It is clear that only the Conservative and Unionist Party

has the legitimacy and ability to provide that certainty

by commanding a majority in the House of Commons.

That's what we will deliver.

Now let's get to work.

It's very easy to say, "Oh, no, get rid of her."

But it's very difficult to say, "This is what should follow."

So, unless we risk having splits everywhere, complications,

you know... It doesn't bear thinking about.

Just be sensible, be steady,

no plotting, no manoeuvring, make this work.

I think what will happen is that almost any...

You've seen it in the way

the news has reacted over the last year,

you know, Mrs Miggin's cat run over - Brexit.

You know, your neighbour moves house - Brexit.

You know, house prices up - Brexit. House prices down - Brexit.

Everything is ascribed to Brexit.

There'll be bumps on the road,

some plaster will come off the ceiling from time to time

and there will be some excitable headlines,

but we'll end up in a very, very good place.

So what about Boris?

Um, well, he's...

just got to... resist the temptation to...

..you know, play games, really.

He mustn't do that. And he must just be part of the stable, you know,

Cabinet, Government we want to see.

Forgive me for this, I have to ask the boring question.

No run against her, she stays where she is?

No, absolutely not.

I think nobody wants to see...

I think, as the Prime Minister has said,

and what everybody I talk to wants,

from... Everybody wants is...

calm, Government getting on,

not just delivering Brexit, but delivering all the priorities

of the people, that's what we've got to do.

MUSIC: Casta Diva from Norma by Bellini

I think the country

requires fresh leadership.

MUSIC: Power by Kanye West

Here we all are,

the kingdom for the taking.

# No one man should have all that power... #

Boris is a rock star.

There's nothing more Machiavellian...