Make Me a Muslim

Growing numbers of white British women are converting to Islam.

But why would they want to give up all the freedoms their Western life allows?

If you're one of these people that enjoy going out clubbing and getting completely rat-arsed, you know,

like, laying in the curb at four o'clock in the morning, with sick on your face and stuff,

then maybe Islam isn't for you, even though you might need it!

How easy is it for converts to adapt to a faith where men can

marry up to four wives?

All my friends know that I'm a co-wife,

I've never kept that a secret from anyone.

But why are they embracing a faith that some people associate

with religious extremism?

The way I see it is, I'm not a terrorist,

and I know that my fiance, the way he is, he's not a terrorist.

Unlike the converts, Shanna Bukhari was born and brought up a Muslim.

I believe in my religion - being modern doesn't mean

I don't believe in God.

But she doesn't regularly practise her Muslim faith. She loves

all the freedoms her Western life allows - in fact, she's a model.

In total contrast, she'll be meeting converts who try to follow

Islamic guidelines in everything they do.

I want to know why women are converting to Islam,

so I'm going to go and meet five converts and try

understanding why they've converted to a new religion.

She'll find out how Islam's changed their lives,

and what unexpected difficulties they've had to face.

I don't know how converts get married, I really don't.

But what might the converts teach Shanna about her own faith?

I look Muslim.

Shanna's a 26-year-old Muslim from Manchester, and she's a top model.

I just love the whole...looking so elegant, glamorous, pretty,

dolled-up.

At the age of fifteen I just knew I wanted to get into modelling.

Shanna comes from a large British Pakistani family.

I was the only one out of all the daughters who loved

dressing up, who would change, like, three to four times a day,

who would want to wear Mummy's lipstick when Mummy's out. I used

to love wearing dresses every day and being dressed up all the time.

I get excited just saying "shopping" cos I love it so much.

Shoes, handbags, gorgeous outfits - I'm happy.

Shanna wants to know why so many girls her age would turn

their back on what most people think are the best bits of being young.

You're a young British female and you can wear what you want,

you can have a crazy night out and come home

at five in the morning with a hangover and you can do all these

things, and it's like, OK, why are you choosing to leave all this

fun and excitement and come into a total new faith that says,

"you can't drink this alcohol, you've got to start dressing differently,"

so what is it that makes you choose

and leave all that behind and come to something so new?

A recent YouGov survey found that 69% of respondents think

Islam encourages the repression of women

and 50% associate Islam with terrorism.

What puzzles me is someone who's new to the faith and religion,

don't they automatically think extremism, terrorism?

Does it not put them off and think, "What is Islam?"

Despite all that, it's estimated that last year around five thousand

people converted to Islam in the UK.

Over half were white, and three-quarters of them were women.

Shanna's setting out on her journey. She's travelling to Wales

to meet her first convert, who's a brand-new Muslim.

In a small community near Bridgend,

Claire's the only white Muslim girl in the village.

Like many converts, she's taken a new Islamic name,

and now she likes to be known as Safir.

I'm going to wear mine like this today cos that's the way I like it.

She's 24, and lives with her mum and dad - Jill and Bryan.

She was brought up a Christian

and she graduated from college this year.

Partying didn't have the same appeal for Safir that it does to

most girls in their twenties - Islam offered her something different.

I'm quite a conservative person.

In Britain, everybody's very loose, you know -

you can go out and get drunk.

I've never been like that and this is why Islam was so appealing

to me, because it was a religion where it was quite conservative.

And obviously nothing like that really exists in Britain any more.

While most girls in Britain wear what they want, practising

Muslim women often wear hijab - a head scarf and long loose clothing.

So what if you have to wear a long dress and, you know,

cover yourself modestly?

It's good dressing, you know, why would you want to have

everything out? D'you know what I mean - what's the point?

Who are you trying to prove to?

If you are really OK with yourself, who cares what you wear?

I'm a very fashionable person, but I'll do it with my own style.

Things won't be out, my legs won't be out, my bum won't be out -

do you get what I mean? But I'll still look really nice.

There's a way of dressing that looks nice - and modestly.

Some people might think these rules are repressive,

but Safir doesn't think so.

All this stuff about women being oppressed

and stuff is complete codswallop. It is! Most of the girls I know...

Well, pretty much all the girls I know - the Muslims -

they're spoilt rotten. If we want to work, we can work if we want.

If we don't want to, our husband will provide for us, you know.

And it says in the Qur'an

that a women can chase knowledge if she wishes.

Safir's come to the station to meet Shanna.

She only became a Muslim a few weeks ago,

so she has lots to tell about what it's like to be a convert.

It's a big day for her as she has an important meeting

at the mosque in Cardiff.

-Hello.

-Hi, Shanna!

-I love this.

-Thank you.

-Have you been Muslim all your life?

-Yeah.

OK. That's a stupid question, really!

So where are we going today?

Basically we're going to catch the train into Cardiff

and I'm going to take you to my local mosque.

Why are we going to the mosque?

Basically, when I converted they were going to give me

-a certificate of authenticity that I'm a Muslim!

-Wow!

Tickets, please.

Muslims believe that when you convert to Islam, all the sins

you've committed in your past are wiped out.

-When did you convert?

-It was like a couple of weeks ago, you know.

It was like, everybody gets really excited,

cos I'm like a new-born Muslim and everybody's like, "Oh, will you pray

"for me, will you pray for me?" you know, because apparently, you know

my prayers are a bit more powerful because they consider me as pure.

How long have you been wearing the headscarf?

I kind of experimented with it, I've got to be honest, I kind of put

a scarf on my hair and wondered like, can I do this, you know.

But there are Muslims out there that don't even wear hijabs,

-you know, like you.

-Yeah! (LAUGHS) You know what I mean, it's like, you don't have to wear it.

Do you find, though, it helps you, like?

To be honest, they do look at you more, especially the men,

especially the men. It's ridiculous.

I mean, men come on to me just because I'm wearing a hijab.

Do you feel restricted in any way?

Where I live, everything is so constrictive.

Cos I'm white as well, people think that I'm a traitor

and stuff which I'm not.

Converting to Islam is relatively straightforward.

You need to recite a statement saying that Allah is the only God

and Muhammad is his prophet.

It's said in front of witnesses, and it's known as a shahada.

This is the centre where I did my shahada,

so basically now we're going to go in,

hopefully get my certificate that they've hopefully done for me.

-Come in.

-Hi.

-Hello, Claire.

-Hi, Uncle. How are you?

Fine, thank you. Come in.

Thank you.

The certificate. Let's read it together.

It says...

It's an Islamic testimony certificate.

19th of September, 2012.

"To whom it may concern - Claire Louise Evans, aka Safir,

"this is to certify that Miss Claire Louise Evans, Safir,

"has been embraced and accepted Islam as a religion on August, 2012."

-Congratulations.

-Thank you very much. It's very nice.

Accepting Allah has changed Safir's outlook on life.

I noticed a couple of weeks ago,

I went out and I felt like my eyes were open, do you get what I mean?

It's like I saw everything again, you know? It was so weird, you know,

I just find that Allah has just showered me in blessings and stuff.

Hey, how did it go?

Hi. Here it is.

Wow! So you have your certificate now.

Yes, I'm definitely Muslim, but it's all in here, really.

Being accepted as a Muslim is nerve-racking for converts

and the mosque is Safir's first hurdle.

Eva, this is Claire. Claire, this is Eva. She's new to Islam.

She converted about a month ago.

The good news is, she's made welcome by the local Muslim community

up in the women's prayer hall.

How are you feeling?

Ah! Like - new, you know?

-Happy?

-Happy, very happy.

-Comfortable?

Yes.

This is like a small gift from me and my family.

-You didn't have to.

-It's prayer clothes for when you pray.

-It'll be so much easier for you at home, and a prayer mat.

-Oh, my gosh!

-So instead of you...

-I'm going to cry now!

..always having to put stuff on...

I'm going to cry. Thank you so much, thank you. That's so nice.

It's so nice to have you here, seriously. Don't lose your passion and motivation.

Oh, it's so sweet of you. Thank you so much.

DEVOTIONAL SINGING

It's time for evening prayer.

Under Islam, men and women always pray separately,

to protect women's modesty.

It's early days for Safir, and praying is new to her.

Obviously Islam is about Allah - and we all pray to Allah together.

The feeling you get when you pray, it's much different when you just put your hands together.

Something washes over you.

It's like the deepest meditation that you can think of.

It's the first time Shanna's been in a mosque since she was a child.

Seeing Safir and the girls pray together has had an unexpected impact.

Today's been a bit of an experience.

I felt a bit emotional watching someone who has just newly

come into a faith that I have been born into, and how she's putting

all this effort and how I have been neglecting what I should be doing.

It just got me thinking.

What makes it more emotional and sad for me is that I know how to pray.

So I'm sat in a mosque and I'm watching people read

and I'm saying inside myself, "I know how to do this

"and I bet you guys think I don't when you look at me."

I'm a bad girl, aren't I?

Crap!

If you're a practising Muslim you're supposed to pray five times a day.

And wherever you are, you have to pray in the direction of the Muslim holy city, Mecca.

The first prayer's at the crack of dawn - but Safir's still learning.

I notice morning prayer is like four until five.

I've got to be honest, I don't know who gets up at 4.24 in the morning, do you get what I mean?

You know, you've got to be really dedicated to do that

cos although I love to pray, I love my sleep as well,

so I kind of always miss this but I always make up for it later.

I don't know if you're supposed to do that. I'm probably a really naughty Muslim.

I still haven't opened this.

I was kind of afraid to open it in case it got dirty.

It shows you which way to pray and stuff.

It's really ironic - it's supposed to be for Islams, and yet it says "made in China". (LAUGHS)

That's really strange.

I also have my book, and like, it's a bit childish,

but it's my book on how to do prayers and stuff.

So, it's got, like, what you're supposed to say

and all that sort of stuff in it, you know.

So whenever I start praying I always have that in front of me

and I do it really slowly because I can't do it really fast

because like obviously I'm new, and I want to do it properly.

One of the toughest hurdles converts have to face is

the reaction of their families.

Shanna's come to meet Safir's mum Jill to see what

she thought about her daughter's decision.

Hello!

How are other members of the family with Safir's

change of religion now?

They're not very happy.

They...they're just not very happy about it.

Do you think they'll ever get used to the idea?

It's very hard but I think they are pretty accepting, my family.

I like to think that they are, and they will come round in time.

What do you think about Islam?

I started reading things and I read the Qur'an.

And I just found lots of it like the Bible.

You know, which I've read things in the Bible

and I really don't see it's such a bad religion.

And things that she's told me,

that the parents have more say in things.

I see a lot of things - the way my mother used to say things,

about courting, and that I had to fetch the boy home and wait.

The Muslim religion is more of the old-fashioned Christian way.

Safir's dad Bryan has lived in the Welsh valleys all his life.

For him, Islam feels like a very foreign religion.

I can't say I'm really up for it, like.

It's a different culture, innit?

But she seems to be happy with it, so, you know...

She's 24 years of age now, she has her own mind to make up now.

But I did tell her, you know, she is Welsh, you know what I mean.

No need to wear the clothes because you know,

she got her own clothes there.

At the end of the day, she's got pretty hair, curly,

like her old man!

So there's no need to hide it, is there?

If I did say something, she probably wouldn't talk to me again!

So at the end of the day, she's got to find out for herself, hasn't she?

But she knows I'm only at the other end of the phone

If she ever needs me.

That's all she's got to do is pick the phone up.

I feel sorry for her dad going to that pub

and his friends sitting there with their pint of lager or whatever.

They'd be like "How's your daughter doing?

"She still got that thing on her head?"

They could be making a joke out of it and how is he to reply

and respond to it?

He would really thoroughly need to understand his daughter before

he understands the religion and that just does not happen overnight.

Next, Shanna's travelling up to Scotland.

She wants to meet a convert who's been practising Islam for a while.

Alana converted over two years ago. She's 20 and lives in Glasgow.

She's a media student,

but what's most important in her life is her faith - Islam.

I'm a traveller so I'm from the fairground, and you get Scottish and English travellers.

We're not gypsies, it's a completely different thing,

and I grew up on a caravan site.

This is my home. And that's my wee caravan, my wee cara-hut.

And I live right across from my mum and dad,

so if I don't feel like cooking, she feeds me.

Alana was brought up a Protestant and was baptised as a baby.

But her conversion to Islam hasn't always been easy.

It was really hard for me, because especially living in the east end

of Glasgow, and there's no Muslims here

and there's such... I'm white, Scottish...

there's hard... you know, "Why, how odd,

"why would you choose to be a Muslim?"

And I feel as if I need to be extra polite,

for them to know that I'm human, you know, that I'm Scottish,

cos I feel like they think I'm going to do something to them.

They've got that look.

Shanna's come to meet Alana to find out

if it was hard to leave her old life behind.

Were you into all that stuff - partying, clubbing...?

Well, I did go out quite a lot when I was younger.

Did you used to drink?

Uh-uh, yeah. I used to drink and go out

and then I would go out and not drink

and still go out to the clubs

and now it's not going out to the clubs and not drinking at all.

It's more been a change for my friends, adapting,

-thinking "Why is she not coming out?"

-What were they like?

The first, the typical thing they'd say is "You don't have to drink

"but still come out," you know.

"You can be the taxi driver," you know, which was fine.

And then the more, I was like, "No, this is defeating the purpose."

What has been the biggest thing you've had to give up?

I love Parma ham, I love it - the salt, and wrap it around melon,

it's just beautiful.

-So, that was the hardest thing?

-Yeah, I think, you know,

I'm known for walking out of Tesco with just a packet of Parma ham

and just eating it, and I think that has been the hardest thing.

That's what my cousin says, "How will you give up Parma ham?" and I'm like, "Yeah, I know!"

But it's by chance that Alana encountered Islam.

When she first left college two and a half years ago

she set out for Lanzarote hoping to become a club rep.

When you're 18, it's the whole "you need to go out and live your life while you're young

"and do all the things you're going to regret."

And I was like, I want to go out and do everything I'm going to regret,

have a crazy six month, just get absolutely mental drunk,

just go out do what I want to do and have a brilliant time

and come back and then work. And that just didn't happen.

What did happen is she met her fiance Abdul -

he introduced her to Islam - and now they're planning to get married.

I would have to have an Islamic wedding and a British wedding.

But I think I would try to make it a bit more like a British wedding, for my dad.

I'm my dad's one-and-only, so I think I would have the white and the bridesmaids

just out of respect, that this is their only chance for me to do that.

So I wouldn't like to make it, you know, look too foreign.

Would you let the guests get drunk in your wedding?

No, I think...no, what I mean is, it is people's own choice to drink

but I think if they're coming to my wedding

and know I'm a Muslim and that my fiance is a Muslim,

they should have respect.

I would write, "If you're not happy about that, don't come."

And if they love me enough and love my family

then they should for that one day,

I'm sure they could manage to not drink for the one night.

But for Alana the importance of Islam goes far beyond falling

in love - it answers some of her big questions about life.

I've always believed in God, well, there being something.

It doesn't matter what you believe, I think we all deep down,

you must think, "When I die, I hope I go to a better place."

You must - you can't be human and not think, "When I die that's it, I don't care."

Everyone must think, "I want to go somewhere,

"where my relatives have died," or what.

You must have that sort of feeling.

Especially because I never got to meet my Granny and Grandad,

I always think, well, what happens if they're actually in heaven

and if I don't get to go there, that would just be terrible.

But it still required courage for Alana to break the news to

her family about her conversion.

Just before Ramadan was when I told my family that I was a Muslim.

I'd been a Muslim for a while, but I didn't tell them.

I was freaking out.

But I thought if I'm going to do Ramadan

they're going to know I'm not eating, so I had to tell them.

I finished work and I thought "Right, I'm going to do it."

So I went in and all of a sudden the adrenaline hit me,

I started panicking and shaking.

And I went in, my mom and dad they could tell, they know what I'm like.

I went, "I've got something to tell you," and I just burst out crying.

Then my dad started to get annoyed,

cos he's wanting to watch his programme,

so he's like "Hurry up, tell us, lass".

Then my mom's worried. She went, "You're pregnant?"

My dad's like, "You've crashed your car?"

And I burst out laughing then, cos then I was like, that's

the worst thing that they could have thought was going to happen to me.

And then I was like... "I actually want to be Muslim."

And my dad talked straight with, "I thought you already was a Muslim."

And I burst out laughing even more,

cos I thought well I'm making such a big deal out

of something that is obviously they, you know, already knew, you know.

Actually it felt like I was telling them I was gay

or something like that or I was pregnant, that's what it felt like.

Alana's determined to learn everything

she can about her faith. She devotes her free time to studying

and going to evening classes.

Tonight Shanna's come to join her

at her weekly Islamic Studies course.

Even after I became Muslim, I've studied a lot of books

and I've read them all back to front, and I've got that many,

I just felt, I know the basics,

or I THINK I know the basics and I thought, "I need something else".

So I was told about iSyllabus and I applied for a scholarship

and I got accepted. Now, what I would like is to do this course

and then I would like to study Arabic.

-Oh, wow.

-Because my fiance, he's Arabic,

he speaks Arabic and if we have any children, insha'Allah,

then I'd like to be speaking Arabic so I'm not getting talked about,

they're talking Arabic and I don't know what they're saying.

I would like that, and I would like to be able to read

the Qur'an in Arabic, rather than just in English.

I wouldn't feel as if I'm a proper Muslim in the future

if I didn't speak some level of Arabic.

It's really nice to see people

actually go out of their way to learn.

At the class the women sit behind the men, and following Islamic

guidelines on modesty, they cover up, wearing hijab.

But the lecture's been held up - and Shanna soon finds out why.

A course official's taken Alana to one side.

To attend the lecture, Shanna needs to wear a headscarf.

I'm having to wear a scarf

because I didn't use my brains before I came here.

Go on, I'll let you do it.

Oh, crap - I'm laughing!

This is really bad.

Wow, I look so weird.

I feel so self-conscious about it, do you know what I mean?

-D'you know what I mean?

-It's cos you're not used to it.

Do you know what it is? It's easier for women to wear less clothes

than it is for them to put more on.

It's also that thing...

It's an intense course and there's lots to learn.

Alana studies everything from Qur'anic history to sharia law.

Taqwa.

It's a term which many people know about. We hear it all the time.

The class is run by a charity who use a room at Glasgow University.

So, acting in obedience to God through a guiding light of God

with the intention of seeking his pleasure.

Shanna's shocked at the division between the sexes,

and the different expectations for men and women.

Automatically when you go into a lecture hall, even though it was

Islamic, I didn't think you need, these things -

you need to be covered, and I didn't even think about men, I didn't even

think about the division of guys and women

and where they're going to be sat.

I just thought we're all treated equal and all sat in one room.

Having made a blunder last night, Alana's asked Shanna over

to talk about how Muslim women ought to dress.

Like many converts,

Alana's interpretation of the dresscode is strict,

but not all Muslim girls are the same, particularly Shanna.

Under Islam, haram means forbidden and halal means allowed.

I've actually 'halal-ified' my wardrobe.

How do you 'halal-ify' your wardrobe?

-Halal-ified?

-Halal-ified.

This is really nice. You'd probably like this.

This is something that I would wear, out of Primark, with tights.

But if I've got a top on and this skirt, then I can still wear it.

-Yeah.

-Do you know what I mean? So I've 'halal-ified' it!

So that's 'halal-ified'.

Yeah, that's my term that I've created, so yeah.

It's gorgeous, that.

Now, my non-halal stuff, which would be...

Non-halal! You've got this division.

Yeah, I've separated it all.

So, this would cover me, but it doesn't actually cover my bum,

so I would know if I was wearing that,

I'd have to wear a baggier skirt.

-Oh.

-You know.

But it's still baggy?

Yeah, but it doesn't cover my bum.

Fair enough.

So I've 'halal-ified' it!

So, I'm 'halal-ified' now, aren't I, in your eyes?

Aye, your bum is covered.

But your, yeah, I won't even go there.

OK, I'm half 'halal-ified'.

You're half 'halal-ified', yeah.

-I wore these to my cousin's wedding.

-Oh, wow.

Yeah, so I've kept all my good shoes cos I just love them.

And I think you'd like these ones.

These are the best ones.

So, I wouldn't wear these going out.

Why?

Because it's not part of the dress code.

Are you saying they're not 'halal-ified'?

No, they're not 'halal-ified'.

How could shoes possibly...?

Cos you're walking and wiggling at the same time.

Are these OK? Are these 'halal-ified'?

They are, but any higher than that and I wouldn't wear them.

Surely it's not against...

Uh-huh.

I've not heard of it.

Let me 'hijab-ify' you, and see how good you look.

Oh, my God!

Honestly.

Here we go.

At least it keeps you warm.

Yes.

Oh, beautiful.

Shall I put my hair up?

-How do I look?

-You look beautiful.

-Are you serious?

-Mm-hmm.

Take them un-halal boots off.

It's the most difficult thing to go out and be covered.

You look beautiful, though.

It's the first time Shanna's come face-to-face with how strict

Islam can be when it comes to rules on female dress.

I look Muslim.

I don't even know what I feel.

Transformed?

You're covered.

It's not like I was naked and not covered before. It's just...

I've got something baggy on me, and then you can't see my hair.

And, em, I feel less pretty.

Does that sound really bad?

Well, the whole point of wearing hijab is that you're not going out

and drawing attention to yourself, so I suppose it's working.

I don't, I don't, I'm not ready for it, no.

Shanna didn't expect to be criticised for the way she dresses.

I don't mean to sound rude to the people who agree with Alana,

but I totally disagree with that, that you can't wear high heels.

And my boots were not 'halal-ified' for her.

I think she was looking at me thinking,

I'm born into this, as a Muslim, so I think she automatically thought

"You should be practising and doing what I'm doing,

"if you're not already, and I've only been doing this for two years",

and I think she was comparing and contrasting us quite a lot.

I felt judged by her.

I'm happy the way I am,

and it doesn't mean I'm not a Muslim cos I'm not doing it.

And just cos I'm modern, that's got nothing to do with my religion.

I will be dying, I was born as a modern British Muslim

and I will die as a modern British Muslim.

There's nothing wrong with it!

It isn't the first time Shanna's felt judged.

Her modelling career has attracted criticism

from some Muslims in the past.

In 2011, Shanna attempted to become the first Muslim to represent

Britain in the Miss Universe competition.

The decision led to threats from members of the Muslim community.

One Miss Universe hopeful has come under an ugly attack

for wanting to represent Britain in the glamorous pageant.

She has been threatened with death because of her religion.

Some of the fellow Muslims out there are saying this is against Islam,

a woman, as they put it, should not be parading around.

I don't think I'm doing anything wrong.

We live in England, we live in... I'm British.

Yes, I'm Muslim, but we live in such a Western society,

I didn't think, "Oh, as a Muslim, I can't do this."

That never crossed my mind.

Shanna was devastated by the intolerance she met with.

The hate mail sent to her was so distressing, it's the first time

she's been able to look at it since the competition.

"She won't look pretty after having her head removed

"by a rusty pen knife".

"You trashy whore, and you should publically announce

"that you are not a Muslim".

"Stop disrespecting Islam by giving this image."

"You are nothing but a whore and may the soul of your father burn

"in the deepest pits of hell for allowing his daughter

"to publicly shame Islam".

"If you were a real Muslim, you would care more about

"protecting the image of Islam that we fight to preserve."

"Instead, you just take all your clothes off

"and crave for personal attention."

"You will burn in hell next to your father,

"therefore you are just trash."

I need a tissue, I think.

This is bad.

Forget that I'm Muslim or religion, Christianity or whatever,

I'm a human being.

If you say something mean about me, I'm going to get emotional.

I've got feelings and emotions

and I think some people kind of forget that.

Shanna's back on the road again.

There's a whole new issue she wants to find out about -

what family life's like when you convert to Islam.

Lisa married a Pakistani Muslim man seven years ago,

but she only properly converted to Islam herself last year.

Lisa lives in Reading. She's a full-time mum,

and her work's cut out bringing up her three daughters.

I've loaded the dishwasher, fed the cats.

That's it, that's all done this morning,

until we get back from school and then there's hoovering.

She wears the hijab full-time, Ameera does. Wears it all the time.

Ameera! It's ready.

Sometimes it would be easier for them all to wear hijab,

then we wouldn't have to worry about hair.

Does it affect you, do you think, me wearing hijab?

Affect me, how?

Do you feel embarrassed or anything?

No? That's good, then.

No, cos all people are interesting.

That's right. I taught you well, chick, didn't I?

There you go, you're done.

My nanny, she's the one, she looks older than that now,

but she's the one who says about me,

"Oh, that's the girl who wears the salami on her head".

But she's got dementia so she hardly even remembers me,

she just calls me the girl with the salami on her head.

My mum calls me a nun on the run.

My neighbour says "Here comes the old ninja." She calls me a ninja.

But, yeah, they don't do it in a nasty way.

It's all a bit of banter, cos they know I like the banter

and I give the banter back.

Come on, then, let's go for a walk in the woods!

Lisa's made a big decision for the family this year.

Instead of celebrating the traditional British holidays,

they'll observe the Muslim festival, Eid.

We're not having an English Christmas this year,

so this is our very big Eid, for us.

It's going to be kind of weird cos we've always celebrated Christmas.

Cos I'm a Muslim, I don't want to celebrate Christmas.

Cos it's not part of being a Muslim,

it's not part of the religion.

I believe that if we do a Christmas,

then we're put in partnership with our God

by celebrating something to do with another religion's God.

So, yeah. That's why.

Following Islamic festivals might be one big step,

but there are other big decisions to be made.

Lisa's going Islamic clothes shopping in London,

and Shanna's coming to meet her,

but it's the one sort of fashion she isn't familiar with.

-Hi.

-Hi, you all right?

-I'm Shanna.

-I'm Lisa. Nice to meet you.

From bonnets to one-pieces, it's a whole new shopping lingo.

I would not wear that.

Lisa's decided to make a controversial step made

by a minority of Muslim women.

She wants to cover her face fully, and wear the niqab.

How can you see through that?

It's netted. I can see you.

You can breathe through it. It's really thin.

-How do you eat with that on?

-Lift it up, and eat.

Would you really wear that?

Yes, without a doubt.

-Every single day?

-Every single day.

Once you start wearing it, you can't wear it part-time.

That's why it's a big decision. I like it.

Do you not feel weird covering your face up?

Keep it for my husband's eyes only.

But Lisa's hasn't made the decision for her husband,

she wants to do it as a sign of commitment to her faith.

What would your husband think?

He don't want me to wear one.

Certain scholars believe it shows extra piety,

but to some it can seem like a radical step.

Do you think people look at you and think "extremist"?

Yeah, cos they don't know who I am.

Lisa was a bit of a bad girl before she converted,

and Shana wants to find out what sort of life she left behind.

Although tattoos are forbidden under Islam,

they still remind her of her colourful past.

I was looking at your hand. You've still got tattoos.

Oh, I've got loads of tattoos. I've got loads of tattoos.

How many have you got?

I'm covered.

Are you serious?

-On my leg, and both my feet are done.

-Let's have a look.

Nanny, you love your nanny, don't you?

That's my nanny that passed, my dad's mum.

-But I know I got them before I was Muslim.

-Yeah.

What do you feel Islam has brought to you?

It has definitely calmed me down.

I was a wild thing, feisty. I used to fight.

Literally?

Argue in the street, you know.

We used to walk through town, especially with my other sister,

and if somebody would bump into us, we'd have a big row in the town.

You know, I think I've changed quite a lot.

-For the better?

-Yeah, definitely.

But Lisa has a very unusual family set-up that's allowed under Islam,

but is shocking to most Westerners.

All my friends know I'm a co-wife. I've never kept that from anybody.

-You're a co-wife?

-Yeah.

It's just not right, a man being shared!

-Anything's not right, but...

-How did you meet?

I met him in the park behind my mum's house, we used to hang

about a lot there and then he'd come and then we fell in love, I suppose.

How old were you?

Fourteen. And we was like, love's young dream.

Then his family made him marry her.

When Lisa was 18, she found out her boyfriend had gone

to Pakistan for an arranged marriage.

Six years later, he married Lisa in an Islamic religious ceremony.

Islam allows a man to have up to four wives

so long as he treats them equally.

So, with the co-wife, do you live in the same house?

What, as his other wife? I'd kill her.

We'd kill each other, actually, cos we don't like each other.

So you wouldn't be able to tolerate that?

Bed-hopping in the night!

At least when he's there I can't see what he's doing

and don't have to witness it for myself.

Oh, doing it under the same roof, crap.

I've set rules, though.

I've told him I don't want him to have sex with her.

He's got a choice. He has to choose. If he wants to have sex with her,

then have sex with her, don't have sex with me.

But I'm 30, I've decided to be in this situation.

I'm in love with a man.

Lisa has had difficulty being accepted

by the born Muslim community, and this has caused her trouble at home.

I don't have nothing to do with his family at all.

Nothing at all?

Nope.

Nothing at all. Cos I'm white, I'm English.

It doesn't matter that I'm Muslim, I could be black and Muslim,

they still wouldn't accept me cos I'm not Pakistani.

-Even though you've converted?

-Yeah.

16 years together,

and I've never once sat in a room with his mum or dad.

Lisa's closest friend is her sister, Kimberley.

As a British girl,

it makes her angry to see her sister be a second wife.

When we was younger, she was crying in the bedroom cos he'd gone

and got married, but she still accepted it.

She's still gone and accepted it now, so it's really quite

frustrating sometimes, like, that she's actually putting up with it.

I couldn't do that.

She's a strong Muslim woman, so she shouldn't have to be,

like, the second best.

She should be the best and the only. That's the way that life is.

I think she puts on a really strong face

like it doesn't really bother her, but it does.

It does.

Because she's having to...

half the week, live like a single parent.

I don't think a man should be allowed to marry two women

and live two separate lives like that.

It's not fair on children. They're confused.

Oh, my God. She's a co-wife. It's crazy.

and she, the co-wife,

the other wife lives down the road, and she's accepted that.

It's in Pakistani Muslim culture that a man can marry up to four times.

I would literally kill my husband if he ever even thought about

the idea of being...

Oh, no, it just makes me sick.

Come on, you have got to be one hell of a strong woman to take that.

Shanna's learning there are real obstacles to overcome for converts.

Next she's going up north to meet Inaya,

who's has a totally different struggle.

She can't find a Muslim husband at all.

She splits her time between working in a busy call centre in Accrington

and her full social life with friends.

She converted to Islam four years ago

after going through a difficult time.

I've always been interested in Islam from an early age

from being at high school.

I've had loads of Muslim friends.

When I got to about 21, 22,

I were going through a really rough patch at home,

so I decided to turn to Islam.

I literally woke up one day thinking "I need to do this before I die.

"I need to do it, because if I die and I'm not a Muslim,

"I'm not going to be happy" or, you know.

I wanted to go to Paradise, so I wanted to do it.

Hello, how can I help with your account?

When I took my shahada, the weight just, I'm not joking,

it tingles me now just thinking about it,

but the weight just got took off my shoulders like I can't explain.

Inaya lives in Haslingden,

a small town in Lancashire Shanna knows well from her childhood.

-Haslingden. Been here before.

-Have you?

-Yeah, I went to school here.

-No.

Yeah, Haslingden High School.

Oh, me too!

Oh, my God! What year were you?

I'm 28.

So you're two years older than me.

It's definitely the same. Nothing has changed here.

For Inaya, it's hard to meet a prospective Muslim partner

when she lives in a remote northern town.

I would like to just bump into, you know,

"Oh, sorry, I've seen you in the shopping centre."

Like, literally just walk into someone,

that would be my ideal way of meeting someone.

But it doesn't work like that, does it?

Many Muslims have marriages arranged by their family,

but without relatives to help, Inaya's had to resort

to more ingenious ways to find a husband - Muslim speed dating!

You've got this massive audience of parents.

Oh, no, watching you.

Yeah, so I'm like, sat here and I'm, like, trying.

You're nervous as it is.

Yeah, and I'm trying to talk to this guy in front

and the parents are in there somewhere.

Are they the guy's parents?

Yeah. Everyone's parents are standing there watching,

I'm like, oh, no.

So, it's pressure from there and then.

And like, I had guys coming to talk to me who later on,

I started talking to them, and then they'd come round with

barriers like, my mum doesn't want me to, you know, talk to you.

Don't talk to you? Why?

Because they come up with silly excuses that I'm too old,

I'm too tall, I'm going to back to how I used to be, you know.

-What sort of rubbish is that?

-Yeah.

Inaya's best friends have stuck with her every step of the way,

through conversion, and now through the search to find a husband.

My friends, they've really been supportive.

When I started wearing the head scarf it was a shock,

but they've got used to me wearing the scarf

and they don't even see the scarf anymore.

But then when I take it off, they're like,

"Wow, I've not seen your hair for a year!"

So, they appreciate it and that's when I say

"That's why I cover it up".

The moment Inaya converted to Islam, the dating rules changed.

She couldn't go out to bars serving alcohol, or meet with guys alone.

Shanna's curious to find out what her new tactics are.

This is where I go browsing for men.

So this is how they see it.

OK.

There's me at a wedding.

You look so pretty, you look stunning.

Seriously.

Oh, God!

I've met people off here, but then you obviously study the profile

and they say they're 5' 11", a really good height for myself,

and you turn up and they're 5' 3".

Oh, my God.

Oh, that's happened!

So they lie?

Yeah, yeah.

And the photos don't even, they don't even look the same

when they show up!

Totally different picture?

Totally.

Inaya's encountered many problems.

Often the guys just want to have fun

and aren't serious enough about marriage.

Obviously, we're not allowed to date.

If I am alone with a guy, things could happen

when it shouldn't happen.

He wants dating, whereas I don't.

He's put non-religious.

And he's a Muslim?

Well, I'm assuming so.

Yeah, he is. Surname.

If they can't tell people on here that they're Muslim,

they're not going to be telling people outside that they're Muslim.

Yeah.

Even if she finds someone who's devout,

their families might have different plans for their sons.

They might already have someone in mind

for the son or daughter to get married to.

Or they want their new daughter-in-law

to live with the parents.

I don't mind doing that for a short period of time,

but I'm not willing to live with the parents forever.

I don't know how converts get married, I really don't.

It's so hard and I can't tell you how much pain it's caused me.

Even my mum's turned round and said,

"Does that mean you're never going to get married?"

Shanna's surprised Inaya's found it hard to adapt

to the marriage customs of the traditional Muslim community.

Hiya, you all right?

Inaya is having massive difficulty finding a husband,

and I didn't ever think that would be a problem.

And she's only having this difficulty cos she's converted.

Otherwise she could just find anyone she wants.

How it would work normally for Muslims is we help each other,

we introduce each other to each other's families and word of mouth.

She hasn't got that, she's just totally on her own.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

Learning about the difficulties converts face

has made Shanna reflect on her own conflicts with her religion.

I'm questioning what I can do, can I do modelling?

If I can, what kind of modelling? That has come to my attention.

It's not like you've seen me on the Nuts magazine or something,

or an FHM or something, no!

Shanna's come to Edinburgh hoping to find answers

for her questions about her modelling career.

She wants to meet a convert who's more like her,

a modern British Muslim.

I'm going to meet a convert who's a model.

Maybe she has the answers that I don't have.

Maybe she can back it up - you can be a model and a Muslim.

Maybe she can relate to me, cos we're just the same.

Ayesha's an internationally successful model,

and today she's working on some of her own fashion designs.

She's appeared on catwalks form New York to Paris,

and she's worked for leading brands Top Shop and Mulberry.

She grew up on a deprived council estate in Edinburgh,

but at 16 she was scouted by a model agency, and she shot to stardom.

She converted to Islam four years ago,

but has she found it hard to combine modelling with her faith?

I've had a bit of a struggle.

Do you find that you have that struggle?

Can you be a Muslim and a model?

When I first got into Islam, I stopped everything.

All fashion, anything that was even, yeah.

You stopped all fashion?

Yeah, I changed, I totally was covering,

I was probably a bit too extreme.

Although Ayesha knows catwalk modelling's controversial

if you're a Muslim, she's justified it to herself.

It all comes back to what you're wearing and your intention.

So if I'm on a catwalk and I'm wearing a dress

and I've, like, beautified my appearance

and stuff like that.

I think there's a big difference in me walking down a catwalk

dressed like that and me walking down the street dressed like that.

-Yeah.

-Cos what is my intention?

Well, my intention is to show these clothes in this makeup

to people who want to buy it for their shop, whereas if you're

making yourself really beautiful and walking down the street, then that's

a different intention.

-It's not like you're doing it out of necessity.

-Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

Ayesha's managed to reconcile modelling with her faith,

but she's had to make tough decisions about the work she does.

I try not make stuff that I wouldn't wear.

-Yeah.

-You know?

Like, I never do bikini or underwear,

but I did make a pair of shorts

and I was having this dilemma, like, oh, my God, these are shorts.

I can't wear shorts!

How tall are you without boots?

Quite tall, just under 5' 9".

I feel a bit like Laurel and Hardy.

It actually suits you!

Man, that looks crazy on me!

You look good in that.

Oh, behave, you can't see my face!

I always had this stupid, silly perception that Muslim converts

are just strict, they're just like...

I didn't think they could be so fun to be with.

Oh, that's so cute.

It might seem like Ayesha's answered Shanna's questions,

but she isn't convinced.

Ayesha, she was a really, really lovely person.

I was really shocked when I saw her, like the way she was.

She was just so cool, down to earth, so totally into fashion.

I really thought I would have answers from Ayesha, but no.

I think I need to ask those questions, I need a stronger answer.

Shanna's made a brave decision.

Of all the people she wants to ask a second opinion from, it's Alana,

the convert who was most critical of her dress.

I can't live without my heels. That's something I couldn't sacrifice.

Well, you wear your heels, and you just go lower and lower and lower.

Take them un-halal boots off!

What do you think of me being a model?

Oh, God, that laugh!

Honestly.

As a Muslim,

if you're a practicing Muslim, then I do think that

you shouldn't be doing it,

because the whole point of that is that you're "look at me",

it's defeating the purpose, do you know what I mean? It's not...

But what is it, like it's your intentions right, that's just a job?

You're still showing your body, showing what you look like

Even though you may have good intentions,

you're still doing it for people to look at you,

do you know what I mean?

To walk out the door to show off how beautiful you are.

That's the whole point of wearing the hijab.

What Alana's told Shanna raises the question

about whether she can be a model at all.

Many young women feel it's their right to wear what they want,

but Islam teaches that a woman should protect her modesty,

and her beauty should be kept for her husband's eyes only.

Shanna's getting ready to go to Ayesha's fashion show.

It would normally be her ideal night out.

Hello! How are you?

It's just going to be a little show,

a little preview of the spring/summer selection.

Just hang out and have a nice time.

But Shanna's journey's coming to an end,

and after everything she's learnt,

she's wondering how far she's prepared to go for her faith.

I kind of feel really weird.

Like, I was just thinking about talking to Alana about fashion

and then I'm at this fashion show where there's short dresses,

there's make up, glamour,

and Alana's like, "You shouldn't be doing this".

And it's like I'm just doing the total opposite of what she's saying

about making yourself better and being a good Muslim.

So, yeah, it just felt all weird.

I feel a bit, I feel a bit lost.

Shanna's come to some important realisations

about what Islam means to her.

After seeing the converts bettering themselves

and following a total new faith and new religion

it's made me realise that, well, it's my religion, why am I not doing it?

It kind of just woke me up to what my faith is and what it means to me.

I believe in Allah, I believe in my religion.

I think changes are going to change in my life, slowly, very slowly.

I thought about wearing a headscarf,

I don't think I'd ever wear a headscarf.

I'm still going to be modern.

I love this western culture, this society I live in.

I'm British, I live here, it's who I am.

What do these insights mean for her career?

Since she was a child all she's ever dreamed of is being a model.

That doesn't mean that's it, end of my modelling career.

I think it's just where I'm going to be more selective

to what work I'm doing.

And rather than just letting a designer say, "Oh, put this on"

and walk on the catwalk, it's not going to be that case,

it's going to be like

"I'm not going to wear that cos I don't think I look modest in that."

Shanna's decided to call Alana with a surprising request.

I was thinking a lot about what we talked about,

and it, kind of, all made so much sense and stuff

and it made me think about things,

and I thought, maybe, sometime, when you are free,

we could go to the mosque and pray some time.

'OK.'

It's Friday prayers at Glasgow Central, and the mosque is packed.

It's the end of Shanna's journey,

and it'll be the first time she's ever prayed in a mosque.

You're going to have to do this for me.

I'm going to have to halal-ify you again.

A convert is making me something I kind of already should be,

if you know what I mean?

OK, are you ready?

Yeah.

Hijabified? OK, let's go.

Can you speak out loud?

My Arabic's not great.

Mine's not good either.

OK, so, this is just the way I've learnt it.

So, you start with the Adhan.

Do you keep your eyes..?

You need to keep your eyes open.

-OK.

-Yeah?

Mm-hmm. And straight down?

Instead of ahead?

-Yeah.

-OK.

THEY PRAY IN ARABIC

Shanna's surprised by what she's learnt

about the reasons why girls convert to Islam.

Now, as I've met the converts,

I've understood how they've got this structure,

they follow these guidelines

and they've found peace within themselves.

I always imagined that converts just convert because they've found

a Muslim partner and they have to.

I didn't think they want to.

The hijab means "I am a Muslim, accept me for who I am now".

I feel the converts have just given up drinking, going out

and that lifestyle they had before because they've found a faith

and they don't need that in their lives anymore.

Ultimately, she's learnt a lot about herself.

Looking back at, and reflecting on being in Miss Universe,

and what it says in the Qur'an, I can't change that,

and it does say a woman should be dressed in modesty.

Yeah, I shouldn't have done those things,

and all I can do is try making myself a better Muslim.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd