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This programme contains some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
My name is Simon Atkins and I'm Catholic. | 0:00:04 | 0:00:06 | |
I was raised in the west of Ireland on a diet of Communion, | 0:00:06 | 0:00:09 | |
confession and chastity. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. | 0:00:12 | 0:00:16 | |
That was until I realised I was gay | 0:00:16 | 0:00:19 | |
and could never get married in the eyes of God. | 0:00:19 | 0:00:21 | |
-I'm a celibate man. -Yeah. | 0:00:23 | 0:00:24 | |
-I'm a single man. -Yeah. -Just because you are not married | 0:00:24 | 0:00:27 | |
does not mean that you have a life without love. | 0:00:27 | 0:00:30 | |
But I want sex and marriage with the love. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:33 | |
Being Catholic doesn't seem relevant to my life any more. | 0:00:33 | 0:00:36 | |
Then I met this guy - | 0:00:40 | 0:00:42 | |
Matthew. He's Jewish, and I realised they might be a better option | 0:00:42 | 0:00:46 | |
-for me. -Every human being is a creation in the image of God. -Mmm. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:49 | |
Male, female, Jew, non-Jew, gay, straight. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:52 | |
Nobody should ever be treated as if they weren't a full human being. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:56 | |
To find out if Judaism is more tolerant of gay men, I'm travelling | 0:00:56 | 0:01:01 | |
to the Middle East and its birthplace, Israel. | 0:01:01 | 0:01:04 | |
I love the fact that I can feel free here. | 0:01:06 | 0:01:08 | |
The whole city is a gay club. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:11 | |
But as I delved deeper I uncover another side to Judaism... | 0:01:13 | 0:01:17 | |
-Just... -Camera down. -Camera down. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:19 | |
A man who sleeps with another man knows he must die, | 0:01:21 | 0:01:24 | |
he shall die. | 0:01:24 | 0:01:25 | |
It's an abomination, that's all. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
And that's all I have to say. | 0:01:28 | 0:01:29 | |
..where being gay can be a matter of life or death. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:32 | |
SCREAMING | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
He pulled out a knife and started running and stabbing. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:38 | |
It angers me that that is the way that they think, | 0:01:43 | 0:01:48 | |
that I need to be cured. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:49 | |
-Oh, my God, the smell. -Doesn't it smell good? | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
Delicious. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:00 | |
Matthew and I have been together for two years. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:06 | |
These are particularly excellent. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
Almost immediately, | 0:02:08 | 0:02:09 | |
I started to feel more at home in his religion than my own. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:13 | |
What's all this stuff? | 0:02:13 | 0:02:15 | |
-We're not having a party. -OK. -You don't need a party platter. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:17 | |
Well, we're having a Friday night dinner. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:19 | |
He's accepted as a gay man by his rabbi | 0:02:19 | 0:02:22 | |
and can get married in his place of worship. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:25 | |
As a Catholic, I can't do that. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
I feel like I've given a lot to Catholicism over, like, the years. | 0:02:29 | 0:02:33 | |
And I feel like that it has not served me particularly well now | 0:02:33 | 0:02:39 | |
that I'm, you know, older, and... | 0:02:39 | 0:02:43 | |
-Gayer. -Gayer. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
And in a relationship. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:47 | |
So I'm thinking about changing my religion. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:50 | |
Do you think it would be easy for me to convert to Judaism? | 0:02:52 | 0:02:57 | |
Coming from my Catholic background. | 0:02:57 | 0:03:00 | |
The thing about conversion is, it's not... | 0:03:00 | 0:03:02 | |
You can't just be like, "Oh, I want to be Jewish today." | 0:03:02 | 0:03:07 | |
It's a really long, personal journey, | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
-where you really have to engage with the question of faith. -Yeah. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:14 | |
When you were a little altar boy, | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
-singing your heart out in the west of Ireland... -Yeah. | 0:03:16 | 0:03:19 | |
..were you singing your heart out to Jesus Christ? | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
Jews don't believe Jesus was the son of God. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:24 | |
So the key difference, it is a different person you're praying to. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:27 | |
It soon becomes obvious I know very little about Judaism. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:36 | |
Come, come with me. | 0:03:36 | 0:03:37 | |
-What are you doing? -You can see. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:39 | |
Come. Come here. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:40 | |
-INAUDIBLE SPEECH -OK, sure. | 0:03:40 | 0:03:43 | |
Matthew's been accosted by some | 0:03:48 | 0:03:51 | |
holy-looking people and asked to pray in a caravan, which is, er... | 0:03:51 | 0:03:54 | |
..slightly odd. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:57 | |
Oh, my God. You need... You need to get a shot of this. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:04 | |
Like, they're binding him in something. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:08 | |
Now he's, like, praying from a leaflet. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:13 | |
That is just the strangest thing. | 0:04:15 | 0:04:17 | |
-OK, good Shabbos. -Good Shabbos. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:21 | |
-Have a happy New Year. -The same to you. | 0:04:21 | 0:04:23 | |
Happy New Year. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:25 | |
-Same to you. -I literally haven't done that since my Bar Mitzvah. | 0:04:25 | 0:04:27 | |
-What was that? -It's because it's nearly New Year, | 0:04:27 | 0:04:30 | |
it's like a mitzvah. It's like... | 0:04:30 | 0:04:32 | |
It's like a good deed. | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
I personally find it a very intense way of praying. | 0:04:34 | 0:04:37 | |
It just actually looked a bit scary. | 0:04:37 | 0:04:39 | |
-Oh, it's not scary. -Well, it's scary for me cos I've never seen it | 0:04:39 | 0:04:41 | |
before. Someone grabbed you, pulled you into a caravan and started... | 0:04:41 | 0:04:44 | |
-Yeah. -..wrapping you up in leather. -Yeah, well... -Like, come on. | 0:04:44 | 0:04:47 | |
Not that kind of leather! | 0:04:47 | 0:04:48 | |
Tonight we're celebrating one of the most sacred Jewish traditions, | 0:04:50 | 0:04:54 | |
Friday night dinner... | 0:04:54 | 0:04:55 | |
You put the challah on the table and you need to find the challah cover. | 0:04:55 | 0:05:00 | |
..when friends and family come together to celebrate the Sabbath, | 0:05:00 | 0:05:04 | |
the day God rested from creating the world. | 0:05:04 | 0:05:07 | |
-You've done a good job. -Yes, I know. -Have I? | 0:05:07 | 0:05:10 | |
-You've done nothing. -No! | 0:05:10 | 0:05:11 | |
Matthew has invited two close gay friends, James and Gabriel, | 0:05:13 | 0:05:18 | |
who's come with his partner, Connor. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:19 | |
Let's get you guys over there. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:21 | |
It's the community, the structure | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
and the rituals that first attracted me to Matthew's faith. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:27 | |
Can I have a sparkly one? | 0:05:28 | 0:05:29 | |
Yes! | 0:05:29 | 0:05:31 | |
Tonight we're wearing a kippah... | 0:05:31 | 0:05:33 | |
This looks quite Irish-y. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:35 | |
..lighting the Sabbath candles... | 0:05:35 | 0:05:38 | |
HE SPEAKS HEBREW | 0:05:38 | 0:05:41 | |
..washing our hands from a cup... | 0:05:42 | 0:05:44 | |
..and finally, breaking the bread. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:48 | |
And we say Shabbat shalom. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:49 | |
Shabbat shalom. | 0:05:49 | 0:05:50 | |
Am I the only person at the table who's trying the gefilte fish? | 0:05:55 | 0:05:58 | |
Mmm! | 0:05:58 | 0:06:00 | |
Yeah? Really? | 0:06:00 | 0:06:01 | |
The hot goss tonight is Connor, | 0:06:02 | 0:06:05 | |
who's converting from Christianity to Judaism. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:07 | |
-There's, like, so many questions I want to ask. -Yeah. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:10 | |
How did the whole idea of conversion come around in the first place? | 0:06:10 | 0:06:13 | |
It was never a requirement, it was kind of, just like, | 0:06:13 | 0:06:16 | |
"I think you're ready to start doing this." | 0:06:16 | 0:06:18 | |
I thought it would be difficult for Connor to integrate into my family | 0:06:18 | 0:06:24 | |
and with my friends if he didn't know something about Judaism. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
-Right. -Tell them what you have to do. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:29 | |
So, there's this weird ritual. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:32 | |
Basically, you, like, have a circumcision, | 0:06:32 | 0:06:34 | |
without getting the full operation. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:37 | |
So they have to draw blood. | 0:06:37 | 0:06:38 | |
-A prick. -With, like, a needle. | 0:06:38 | 0:06:40 | |
The rabbi sticks a needle in your cock? | 0:06:40 | 0:06:42 | |
-Yeah. -Yes. In your cock. | 0:06:42 | 0:06:44 | |
Whilst you're where, in synagogue or something? | 0:06:44 | 0:06:46 | |
-Yeah, in front of the whole community. -What? -Not in front | 0:06:46 | 0:06:48 | |
-of the whole community! -He sticks a needle in the head of your cock? | 0:06:48 | 0:06:51 | |
To Connor, it's a sign of his commitment | 0:06:54 | 0:06:56 | |
and he plans to marry Gabriel next year in a synagogue. | 0:06:56 | 0:07:00 | |
A huge part of Judaism is moving with the times. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
You have to find new ways of being able to live in the modern era. | 0:07:02 | 0:07:05 | |
We're not... At no point does it say live exactly how you lived 2,000 | 0:07:05 | 0:07:10 | |
-years ago. -Do you, like, feel like, "Oh, I'm Jewish. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:13 | |
"I can get married in the synagogue. I'm accepted in my faith." | 0:07:13 | 0:07:17 | |
At our synagogue, definitely. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:18 | |
That's something you never, ever have in the Catholic faith. | 0:07:18 | 0:07:21 | |
You don't ever want to feel like you don't belong, which is why I think, | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
I don't know, in my interpretation of what you're going through is | 0:07:24 | 0:07:27 | |
to a certain extent that feeling of not belonging. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
Coming away from that table, | 0:07:34 | 0:07:36 | |
I feel like I could be part of that community. | 0:07:36 | 0:07:38 | |
I see the boys tonight and they're getting married in the eyes of God | 0:07:41 | 0:07:44 | |
and I can't help thinking that, yes, it is important. | 0:07:44 | 0:07:47 | |
It's like somebody's standing behind you, you know, | 0:07:47 | 0:07:50 | |
with the Olympic torch and that legacy behind you | 0:07:50 | 0:07:56 | |
and they're handing you that torch and they're saying, "Go. | 0:07:56 | 0:07:58 | |
"Go forward with that and keep that legacy going." | 0:07:58 | 0:08:02 | |
They're able to do it. I'm not able to do it. | 0:08:02 | 0:08:04 | |
To find out what it would take for me to become Jewish, I'm off to meet | 0:08:09 | 0:08:13 | |
Matthew's family rabbi. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:14 | |
-Hello. -Hi, Simon, come in. | 0:08:21 | 0:08:22 | |
-How are you? -Good, good. -Nice to meet you. -Welcome, welcome. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:24 | |
Thank you very much. I've never been to a synagogue before. | 0:08:24 | 0:08:27 | |
Here we are. | 0:08:27 | 0:08:29 | |
Come in. I'll show you round. | 0:08:31 | 0:08:33 | |
Thank you. | 0:08:34 | 0:08:35 | |
-I mean, you know, you can probably see pews, bit like a church. -Yeah. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:43 | |
Altar, do you call it an altar? | 0:08:43 | 0:08:44 | |
Yeah, we call it a bema, which means, literally, a raised place, | 0:08:44 | 0:08:48 | |
like a platform. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:49 | |
Centre stage in all synagogues is the Torah, the Jewish Bible. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:55 | |
-I'll take this one out. -Are they chained? | 0:08:55 | 0:08:57 | |
-Oh, no, they're not, so they're not locked up. -Actually, the big issue | 0:08:57 | 0:09:00 | |
is if they fall. It's not that they're chained, it's just we don't | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
-want them to fall out. -HE LAUGHS | 0:09:02 | 0:09:04 | |
OK. | 0:09:04 | 0:09:05 | |
The Torah contains the word of God, | 0:09:08 | 0:09:11 | |
passed down to Moses 3,000 years ago. | 0:09:11 | 0:09:13 | |
To us Christians, it's known as the Old Testament. | 0:09:13 | 0:09:17 | |
Judaism goes from right to left. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:18 | |
So what do you do if you want to read something at the very end of | 0:09:18 | 0:09:21 | |
-this? -It's called rabbinic aerobics. -Scroll it the whole way across. | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you kind of start rolling it out like this and you get a bit of a workout. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:27 | |
I just want to really find out where the Torah stands, and Judaism, | 0:09:27 | 0:09:31 | |
on homosexual men and women, really. | 0:09:31 | 0:09:34 | |
-You know, every human being is a creation in the image of God. -Mm. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
Male, female, Jew, non-Jew, gay, straight, you know, | 0:09:36 | 0:09:40 | |
nobody should ever be treated as if they weren't a full human being in | 0:09:40 | 0:09:43 | |
that sense. As someone who's married, you know, | 0:09:43 | 0:09:46 | |
I absolutely get that someone might really, really kind of | 0:09:46 | 0:09:49 | |
-feel that need. -Yeah. You know, like, | 0:09:49 | 0:09:52 | |
I'm trying to figure out what I would have to do if I was ever | 0:09:52 | 0:09:56 | |
-to convert to Judaism. -It's an 18-month formal programme. | 0:09:56 | 0:10:00 | |
Do you have to go to class? | 0:10:00 | 0:10:02 | |
-Yeah. -Do you have to do exams? | 0:10:02 | 0:10:05 | |
-Yeah, we have classes. -OK. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:06 | |
You've got to know what Judaism really is. | 0:10:06 | 0:10:09 | |
It's a religion which is built around this idea of covenant. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:13 | |
Which means that you have to accept the terms of the covenant set out in | 0:10:13 | 0:10:16 | |
here, understood by the rabbis. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:19 | |
The Torah is the contract between God and Jews. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:22 | |
It has 613 rules laying down the law from the kitchen to the bedroom. | 0:10:22 | 0:10:27 | |
But there are really two verses - | 0:10:27 | 0:10:29 | |
they say that it's forbidden for a man to lie with a man | 0:10:29 | 0:10:34 | |
as with the lyings of a woman. And then they use this sort of label | 0:10:34 | 0:10:38 | |
term which usually gets translated as abomination. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:41 | |
It's talking about a very specific physical act, | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
anal penetrative intercourse. | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
So let me just get this straight. | 0:10:46 | 0:10:47 | |
I can come to synagogue, | 0:10:47 | 0:10:49 | |
I could be potentially preached to by a gay rabbi, | 0:10:49 | 0:10:52 | |
I can get married in a synagogue, | 0:10:52 | 0:10:55 | |
but it's forbidden for me to have anal intercourse? | 0:10:55 | 0:10:59 | |
-I would say yes. -OK. OK. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:01 | |
That I did not know. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:02 | |
But I like a bunch of people | 0:11:02 | 0:11:04 | |
who do a bunch of things that I don't necessarily agree with, | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
some of which are ethical and some of which are ritual. | 0:11:06 | 0:11:10 | |
And, by the way, I don't not marry them. | 0:11:10 | 0:11:13 | |
It's great to see rabbi Jeremy finding ways to compromise between | 0:11:13 | 0:11:17 | |
these ancient creeds and our changing times, | 0:11:17 | 0:11:19 | |
even if it's just turning a blind eye for inclusivity. | 0:11:19 | 0:11:22 | |
But there is one rule even he won't budge on. | 0:11:24 | 0:11:26 | |
To convert to Judaism, certainly within this denomination, | 0:11:26 | 0:11:30 | |
it's required to be circumcised. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:31 | |
-It is? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. | 0:11:31 | 0:11:33 | |
You absolutely have to? | 0:11:33 | 0:11:34 | |
-I mean, it's the original marker of that covenant. -OK. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:37 | |
Circumcision, erm... | 0:11:37 | 0:11:40 | |
sounded like it's an absolute definite. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:43 | |
Like, sex would never be the same again. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
Like, sure, there's so much more pleasure when you have a foreskin, | 0:11:46 | 0:11:50 | |
-I hear. -But Matthew has... | 0:11:50 | 0:11:53 | |
Matthew's been circumcised, I'm assuming. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:55 | |
Yeah, Matthew's circumcised and I'm kind of used to looking at | 0:11:55 | 0:11:58 | |
a circumcised penis but it doesn't mean that I want to have one myself. | 0:11:58 | 0:12:02 | |
I quite like the reveal. | 0:12:02 | 0:12:04 | |
To understand if the sacrifices are worth it, | 0:12:07 | 0:12:11 | |
I need to find out much more. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:12 | |
My life would change forever. | 0:12:15 | 0:12:17 | |
I wouldn't just be giving up on Communion and Christmas, | 0:12:17 | 0:12:21 | |
I'd be giving up on Jesus Christ, | 0:12:21 | 0:12:23 | |
the person I've prayed to all my life. | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
While Matthew and I have spoken about marriage, | 0:12:27 | 0:12:29 | |
he is younger than me | 0:12:29 | 0:12:31 | |
and might still change his mind. | 0:12:31 | 0:12:33 | |
If I'm to convert, it has to be for me and only me. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:38 | |
And I know exactly where to search for answers - | 0:12:38 | 0:12:42 | |
Israel, the birthplace of Judaism. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:46 | |
The modern state of Israel was created after the Holocaust | 0:12:46 | 0:12:49 | |
as a safe homeland for all Jewish people. | 0:12:49 | 0:12:53 | |
I start my journey in Tel Aviv. | 0:12:53 | 0:12:55 | |
Tel Aviv is home to the largest gay population in the Middle East. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:04 | |
Estimates suggest one in every four people here is gay. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:07 | |
It's the gayest city on earth. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
It's amazing to think that just a few hundred miles from here | 0:13:14 | 0:13:17 | |
in Saudi Arabia, gay people are sentenced to death, | 0:13:17 | 0:13:21 | |
but here in Tel Aviv they are free to strut their stuff. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:24 | |
You can even disagree with one of the most hallowed Jewish covenants. | 0:13:33 | 0:13:37 | |
Excuse me, do you speak English? | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
I will do my best effort. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:40 | |
So, why...? | 0:13:40 | 0:13:42 | |
What is...? Is this a protest? | 0:13:42 | 0:13:44 | |
Of course, it's a protest against circumcision. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:47 | |
It's such a huge criminal act to cut from a defenceless baby from his | 0:13:47 | 0:13:51 | |
genitals. It's such a cruel thing. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
It's such a savage thing to do. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
-You have scarred his penis. -SHOUTING | 0:13:57 | 0:13:59 | |
Look at this. Look at this. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
ANGRY HEBREW SHOUTING | 0:14:01 | 0:14:05 | |
What's he saying? What's he saying? | 0:14:05 | 0:14:08 | |
-He's saying son of a dog. -Son of a dog? -Cursing me. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:12 | |
He is causing quite a stir, isn't he? | 0:14:12 | 0:14:14 | |
Excuse me. Excuse me. | 0:14:16 | 0:14:18 | |
-Do you speak English? -A little. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:21 | |
Are you against... Are you pro-circumcision? | 0:14:21 | 0:14:24 | |
Not against, I'm not agreeing with him. | 0:14:24 | 0:14:26 | |
-You don't agree? Why is that? -Why? Because I am cut, my thing. | 0:14:26 | 0:14:29 | |
OK. It's a condition, OK, and it's not painful. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:35 | |
I'm looking at converting to Judaism. | 0:14:35 | 0:14:38 | |
-OK. -I might convert. | 0:14:38 | 0:14:39 | |
Come! All you need is that cut! | 0:14:39 | 0:14:42 | |
It's painful. Painful for me. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:46 | |
-Now! -Now, maybe. | 0:14:46 | 0:14:47 | |
But put ice, overnight. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:51 | |
Everything good. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:52 | |
Put ice. That's your solution? | 0:14:52 | 0:14:55 | |
Ice? | 0:14:55 | 0:14:56 | |
What all Jewish men do have, and I don't, is a kippah. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:03 | |
Multicoloured knit, maybe? | 0:15:03 | 0:15:04 | |
It's worn during prayer as a symbol of one's awareness that there is | 0:15:06 | 0:15:09 | |
someone above us. | 0:15:09 | 0:15:11 | |
I mean, that's pretty cool, star of David. | 0:15:12 | 0:15:14 | |
Let's give it a shot. Little bit of sparkle. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:18 | |
Yeah, that one's got my name all over it. | 0:15:18 | 0:15:20 | |
There is just something about this city that I absolutely adore. | 0:15:23 | 0:15:27 | |
It's just hard to put your finger on it. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:28 | |
There's a real ease and friendliness about Tel Aviv that I just... | 0:15:28 | 0:15:33 | |
I love. I feel a real connection the city. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:36 | |
As the sun sets, Tel Aviv is just getting warmed up. | 0:15:38 | 0:15:42 | |
I'm meeting up with three friends | 0:15:50 | 0:15:52 | |
who want to show me how this city parties. | 0:15:52 | 0:15:54 | |
-Let's party! -After you, ladies. | 0:15:54 | 0:15:56 | |
ISRAELI DANCE MUSIC | 0:15:57 | 0:15:58 | |
Why do you love Tel Aviv so much? | 0:16:02 | 0:16:04 | |
-What is it? -I love the fact that I can feel free here. | 0:16:04 | 0:16:07 | |
I love the fact that I can go to the beach, and I can go however I want, | 0:16:07 | 0:16:11 | |
in my tiny little Speedo. | 0:16:11 | 0:16:13 | |
The difference in Tel Aviv is that | 0:16:13 | 0:16:15 | |
when you go abroad, and you travel, | 0:16:15 | 0:16:18 | |
you feel very... It's a very straight city, wherever you are. | 0:16:18 | 0:16:22 | |
And you can go to a gay club and you feel a bit more comfortable, | 0:16:22 | 0:16:25 | |
more in the zone. In Tel Aviv, the whole city feels like that. | 0:16:25 | 0:16:29 | |
The whole city feels like you're in your zone, | 0:16:29 | 0:16:32 | |
because the city is a gay club. That is very unique to Tel Aviv. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:35 | |
Tel Aviv has celebrated gay pride since 1979. | 0:16:35 | 0:16:39 | |
This year, over 200,000 people joined the parade, | 0:16:42 | 0:16:45 | |
making it one of the largest gay festivals in the world. | 0:16:45 | 0:16:48 | |
Wow! | 0:16:58 | 0:16:59 | |
Now, that is a club! | 0:17:00 | 0:17:02 | |
This place attracts gay people from all walks of life. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:06 | |
You're all from Israel? | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
What do you do? | 0:17:08 | 0:17:09 | |
Are you soldiers? | 0:17:09 | 0:17:10 | |
I'm a commander in military jail. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:13 | |
You're a Commander? | 0:17:13 | 0:17:15 | |
What about you? | 0:17:15 | 0:17:16 | |
I'm a guns instructor. | 0:17:16 | 0:17:18 | |
So, You teach people how to shoot guns properly? | 0:17:20 | 0:17:23 | |
-Yes. -What age are you? -20. | 0:17:23 | 0:17:25 | |
Gay soldiers like these | 0:17:27 | 0:17:28 | |
have been openly serving on the front line since 1994 - | 0:17:28 | 0:17:31 | |
a decade before the UK followed suit. | 0:17:31 | 0:17:34 | |
In Israel military service is compulsory. | 0:17:37 | 0:17:40 | |
This is a country that's been in conflict with its neighbour since it was born. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:45 | |
I want to find out if the liberal values I've seen so far | 0:17:49 | 0:17:52 | |
extend to the other parts of Israel. | 0:17:52 | 0:17:54 | |
So I'm on my way to meet a Jewish scholar who lives 50 miles away in the West Bank. | 0:17:56 | 0:18:02 | |
A Palestinian territory that is occupied by Israel. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:05 | |
Thousands of Jews have set up Jewish-only settlements here. | 0:18:07 | 0:18:11 | |
They believe this is their ancestral land. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:15 | |
Getting there isn't easy. | 0:18:15 | 0:18:16 | |
Here's the separation wall. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:19 | |
Literally, the beginning of it. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:22 | |
That separates Israel from the Palestinian authorities. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:25 | |
Following a Palestinian uprising, a separation barrier now | 0:18:28 | 0:18:31 | |
divides Israel from its neighbour. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:33 | |
There is a watch tower just up ahead now. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:40 | |
I'm just not used to this level of security. | 0:18:44 | 0:18:47 | |
You automatically feel a little bit, like, on edge, | 0:18:47 | 0:18:52 | |
even just looking around, | 0:18:52 | 0:18:54 | |
just knowing what can happen in this area. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:57 | |
And what does happen, quite regularly. | 0:18:57 | 0:18:59 | |
I finally arrive at my destination. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:07 | |
This is a Yeshiva, | 0:19:08 | 0:19:11 | |
where Aaron teaches students religious texts. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:13 | |
I hope I'm not interrupting a class. | 0:19:14 | 0:19:16 | |
Hello. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:20 | |
-How are you? -Nice to see you. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:22 | |
We are a little bit late today. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:24 | |
The last class finished just now. | 0:19:24 | 0:19:27 | |
-OK. -Five minutes to wind down, then we're starting. | 0:19:27 | 0:19:31 | |
So, tell me, what do you teach here? | 0:19:31 | 0:19:34 | |
A lot of things. | 0:19:36 | 0:19:37 | |
All of them from the Torah. | 0:19:39 | 0:19:41 | |
The Bible. | 0:19:41 | 0:19:42 | |
The Talmud. You know what is the Talmud? | 0:19:42 | 0:19:45 | |
-The Talmud? -This is the Talmud. Yes. | 0:19:45 | 0:19:48 | |
You can see here. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:49 | |
This was written | 0:19:52 | 0:19:55 | |
-1,500 years ago. -OK. | 0:19:55 | 0:19:57 | |
The Talmud is the guidebook to the Torah. | 0:19:59 | 0:20:01 | |
It explains that homosexuality is forbidden in Judaism, | 0:20:01 | 0:20:05 | |
because it would lead men astray, | 0:20:05 | 0:20:08 | |
threatening the Jewish ideal of family life. | 0:20:08 | 0:20:10 | |
I am starting the class now. | 0:20:10 | 0:20:14 | |
-We'll talk later. -We'll talk later. -Thank you. Enjoy. | 0:20:14 | 0:20:16 | |
It seems only men are welcome in this Yeshiva. | 0:20:18 | 0:20:21 | |
It feels very conservative. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:23 | |
I meet up again with Aaron at his home. | 0:20:27 | 0:20:29 | |
-Hello. -Hello. Shalom. Welcome, welcome. | 0:20:34 | 0:20:37 | |
-Thank you. -Welcome. | 0:20:37 | 0:20:38 | |
This is a very nice house you have. | 0:20:38 | 0:20:41 | |
-Thank you, very much. -What are you having? Coffee? | 0:20:41 | 0:20:44 | |
Are you a tea man or are you a coffee man? | 0:20:44 | 0:20:46 | |
No, it's not coffee, it's chicory. | 0:20:46 | 0:20:49 | |
Chicory is instead of coffee. | 0:20:49 | 0:20:51 | |
-OK. -I wake up in the morning, because I want to pray to my God. | 0:20:51 | 0:20:55 | |
This is what wakes me... | 0:20:55 | 0:20:57 | |
-That's what wakes you up? -Yes. | 0:20:57 | 0:20:59 | |
I need a coffee before I do any kind of... | 0:20:59 | 0:21:01 | |
Try to pray to God, and you will see. | 0:21:01 | 0:21:04 | |
-It's better than a coffee. -Yes. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
So, tell me what your views on gay... | 0:21:06 | 0:21:09 | |
..men are in your religion. | 0:21:10 | 0:21:13 | |
Oh. I need to sit for that. | 0:21:13 | 0:21:15 | |
You need to sit. Shall we sit? | 0:21:15 | 0:21:17 | |
-Yes. -It's very complicated. | 0:21:17 | 0:21:19 | |
It's not a point of what I believe. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:22 | |
-Yeah. -It's written very, very clearly. | 0:21:22 | 0:21:25 | |
Our Torah is against same-sex marriage. | 0:21:25 | 0:21:30 | |
There is no other way to say it. | 0:21:30 | 0:21:33 | |
-Our religion don't have a perfect solution for gay men. -Gay men. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:38 | |
Unlike Matthew's rabbi in London, | 0:21:39 | 0:21:41 | |
Aaron doesn't interpret the words of the Bible. | 0:21:41 | 0:21:44 | |
He takes them as divine. | 0:21:44 | 0:21:46 | |
I'm looking at converting to Judaism so I can marry my boyfriend. | 0:21:46 | 0:21:49 | |
No, you're not allowed to do that. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
It's...er... | 0:21:52 | 0:21:55 | |
It's the same as the Catholic priests say. | 0:21:55 | 0:21:59 | |
In that point... In that issue, | 0:21:59 | 0:22:03 | |
we and the Catholics are almost the same. | 0:22:03 | 0:22:06 | |
The Catholics are more hard, in that, their point of view. | 0:22:06 | 0:22:08 | |
In Judaism's point of view, to be a gay, it's not forbidden. | 0:22:08 | 0:22:13 | |
-OK. -It's forbidden to live like a gay. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:15 | |
So do you expect me and my boyfriend to deny... | 0:22:15 | 0:22:19 | |
-..who I am as a person. -No, no, no! | 0:22:21 | 0:22:23 | |
-What I really feel. -It's not deny, no. | 0:22:23 | 0:22:26 | |
You don't have to deny. | 0:22:26 | 0:22:28 | |
There is only one way of religious Judaism. | 0:22:28 | 0:22:32 | |
Do all the commandments of God. | 0:22:32 | 0:22:35 | |
If somebody says he is doing half, quarter, | 0:22:35 | 0:22:38 | |
or something else of the commandments of God, he is not religious. | 0:22:38 | 0:22:41 | |
He is a cultural Jew. | 0:22:41 | 0:22:43 | |
You don't believe? Do what you want. | 0:22:43 | 0:22:45 | |
There are two ways of life, and I respect... | 0:22:45 | 0:22:48 | |
I respect somebody who says I don't believe. | 0:22:48 | 0:22:50 | |
As I respect you. You call yourself a Catholic, you're not a Catholic, really. | 0:22:50 | 0:22:54 | |
But I still feel like I'm Catholic, and I'm a man of faith. | 0:22:54 | 0:22:59 | |
I just can never get married in the Catholic church. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:03 | |
Not only married, your way of life is forbidden. | 0:23:03 | 0:23:06 | |
OK. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:09 | |
-It was very, very nice to meet you. -Very nice to meet you. | 0:23:11 | 0:23:14 | |
-Can I have a hug? -Thank you. | 0:23:14 | 0:23:17 | |
Thank you very much. | 0:23:17 | 0:23:18 | |
I've always defined myself as a Catholic but, if I'm honest, | 0:23:21 | 0:23:25 | |
maybe my faith has been on the wane for a while. | 0:23:25 | 0:23:28 | |
I think I craved acceptance from my Church | 0:23:28 | 0:23:31 | |
because I felt like an outsider growing up. | 0:23:31 | 0:23:34 | |
But, as a Jew, could I ever truly belong | 0:23:34 | 0:23:37 | |
and follow all their rules religiously? | 0:23:37 | 0:23:40 | |
I'm bound for the holiest city in Israel. | 0:23:41 | 0:23:44 | |
Jerusalem is the epicentre of Judaism. | 0:23:46 | 0:23:50 | |
It's where the Jews built their very first temple. | 0:23:50 | 0:23:52 | |
But it's also a sacred site for Muslims and Christians. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:57 | |
Access to the city is tightly controlled. | 0:23:57 | 0:24:00 | |
We're just about to come up to a checkpoint. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:05 | |
Very high security. | 0:24:07 | 0:24:08 | |
It's actually so weird seeing... | 0:24:10 | 0:24:12 | |
..like, they are fixing each other's hair, | 0:24:13 | 0:24:16 | |
but they've got huge machine guns in their hands. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:18 | |
-Camera down, please. -Camera down. | 0:24:18 | 0:24:20 | |
-Hello. -Hi. | 0:24:22 | 0:24:23 | |
That is so weird. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:28 | |
It's like, "Oh, my God, does my hair look OK?" | 0:24:29 | 0:24:31 | |
With my big rifle in my hand. | 0:24:31 | 0:24:33 | |
It's like, sweet as pie, yet, they're killing machines. | 0:24:34 | 0:24:38 | |
-It's surreal. -It's so weird! | 0:24:38 | 0:24:39 | |
Jews believe Jerusalem was chosen by God | 0:24:42 | 0:24:44 | |
as the spiritual capital of Judaism. | 0:24:44 | 0:24:47 | |
All Jews outside the city pray facing its direction. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:50 | |
One man who prays every day without fail is Nadaf, | 0:24:53 | 0:24:57 | |
a gay man who has lived here all his life. | 0:24:57 | 0:24:59 | |
-You have to say if have anything in your pockets. -That's natural? | 0:25:01 | 0:25:03 | |
We've come to the Western Wall. | 0:25:10 | 0:25:12 | |
It's all that's left standing from an ancient Jewish Temple. | 0:25:12 | 0:25:16 | |
This is the closest Jews can physically get God. | 0:25:16 | 0:25:19 | |
You feel that you fit in in Orthodox Judaism, | 0:25:20 | 0:25:24 | |
but there's one thing that you can't do. | 0:25:24 | 0:25:27 | |
There are people who do not do anal sex. | 0:25:27 | 0:25:30 | |
Is that... | 0:25:30 | 0:25:32 | |
..an issue for you? Do you want to have penetrative sex? | 0:25:33 | 0:25:36 | |
Maybe, yeah. I haven't done it. | 0:25:37 | 0:25:40 | |
Some people, maybe, would say that it is a very important part. | 0:25:40 | 0:25:43 | |
But, I suppose, for you, it's more important to be religious and... | 0:25:43 | 0:25:48 | |
It's... | 0:25:48 | 0:25:49 | |
When I was with my boyfriend... | 0:25:50 | 0:25:52 | |
He complains, it's not two of us, it's the three of us. | 0:25:54 | 0:25:57 | |
It's you, me and God. | 0:25:58 | 0:26:00 | |
I just don't think I could suppress my sexuality for a religion. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:10 | |
It's who I am. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:11 | |
But Nadaf did just that. | 0:26:13 | 0:26:16 | |
Five years ago, he proposed to a woman, to live a conventional life. | 0:26:16 | 0:26:20 | |
After I got divorced, I was very angry with God. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:25 | |
I didn't know what to do with my relationship with God, | 0:26:26 | 0:26:29 | |
and, at a certain point... | 0:26:29 | 0:26:31 | |
..even my anger was what calmed me down. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:36 | |
I'm, like, "Wait, I'm angry, that means I'm in a relationship with him." | 0:26:36 | 0:26:40 | |
You're allowed to be angry. | 0:26:40 | 0:26:42 | |
Some rabbis double up as matchmakers, | 0:26:42 | 0:26:45 | |
encouraging gay men to marry lesbian women. | 0:26:45 | 0:26:48 | |
There's even a dating app where you can browse for prospective gay partners of the opposite sex. | 0:26:48 | 0:26:53 | |
I never experienced love before. | 0:26:53 | 0:26:56 | |
I didn't let myself fall in love with a man, | 0:26:57 | 0:26:59 | |
I didn't have any love for a woman. | 0:26:59 | 0:27:02 | |
And I felt very strong connection to her, | 0:27:02 | 0:27:06 | |
but, suddenly... | 0:27:06 | 0:27:07 | |
..when we were faced, in the marriage, we realised, that's not it. | 0:27:08 | 0:27:11 | |
That really makes me slightly angry, really. | 0:27:11 | 0:27:14 | |
-Why? -It just makes me angry that, you know... | 0:27:14 | 0:27:18 | |
..you think so much about, like, God and your faith, and your 613 rules, | 0:27:19 | 0:27:25 | |
and what you're supposed to do, | 0:27:25 | 0:27:27 | |
but when it comes to, like, you know, your sexuality and being... | 0:27:27 | 0:27:31 | |
..happy, "Oh, just gloss over that and marry a woman, because that's what you should do." | 0:27:32 | 0:27:36 | |
I understand that they... | 0:27:36 | 0:27:38 | |
When they look at homosexuality that it is just, you know... | 0:27:38 | 0:27:41 | |
You know, it's something that you can choose. | 0:27:41 | 0:27:46 | |
But, unfortunately, it's not something you can choose. | 0:27:46 | 0:27:50 | |
You're not choosing being gay, but you are choosing a gay lifestyle. | 0:27:50 | 0:27:56 | |
OK? | 0:27:56 | 0:27:58 | |
And that's a major difference. | 0:27:58 | 0:28:00 | |
If this is my choice, | 0:28:04 | 0:28:06 | |
then maybe Judaism isn't the answer. | 0:28:06 | 0:28:08 | |
It's starting to remind me a little too much of my own Catholic faith. | 0:28:12 | 0:28:16 | |
Hi, baby. Oh, God, big yawn. | 0:28:22 | 0:28:24 | |
I just had a Magnum. | 0:28:26 | 0:28:28 | |
How are you? | 0:28:28 | 0:28:30 | |
I'm very well. I had... | 0:28:30 | 0:28:32 | |
I did a huge amount of sorting today. | 0:28:32 | 0:28:37 | |
-Sorting? -And I did a deep clean of the bathroom. | 0:28:37 | 0:28:40 | |
Great. OK, I'm delighted for you. | 0:28:40 | 0:28:42 | |
So, what have you done the last few days? | 0:28:42 | 0:28:46 | |
Erm... It's been hectic. | 0:28:46 | 0:28:49 | |
Like, I'm really now having doubts about Judaism, | 0:28:49 | 0:28:53 | |
because there's a nice side to it, but there's also a very | 0:28:53 | 0:28:57 | |
intense, ugly side to it. | 0:28:57 | 0:28:59 | |
I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a religion, organised by men... | 0:28:59 | 0:29:04 | |
..that doesn't have a questionable side to it. | 0:29:05 | 0:29:08 | |
Yeah. | 0:29:08 | 0:29:09 | |
Yeah, I'm definitely confused. | 0:29:09 | 0:29:13 | |
because I don't know where I kind of stand right now. | 0:29:13 | 0:29:16 | |
You're going to have to... | 0:29:16 | 0:29:18 | |
If you are a thinking person, | 0:29:18 | 0:29:22 | |
and you want to remain engaged with your faith, | 0:29:22 | 0:29:25 | |
you're always going to have to get comfortable with living in confusion. | 0:29:25 | 0:29:31 | |
Maybe no-one ever lives up to the ideals of any religion. | 0:29:31 | 0:29:34 | |
So they never feel like they belong. | 0:29:34 | 0:29:36 | |
The trouble is, it's just...very visible. | 0:29:36 | 0:29:38 | |
You know. It's very visible, and | 0:29:38 | 0:29:42 | |
the life stages are so intertwined with religion, | 0:29:42 | 0:29:44 | |
things like marriage and birth. | 0:29:44 | 0:29:47 | |
And it's visibly different when you're gay. | 0:29:47 | 0:29:49 | |
So you visibly feel like you don't, you know, | 0:29:49 | 0:29:53 | |
like you don't necessarily belong in that religion. | 0:29:53 | 0:29:56 | |
Should I just keep struggling on in the Catholic faith, rather than, like, | 0:29:56 | 0:30:00 | |
changing to a completely different faith | 0:30:00 | 0:30:02 | |
and having to struggle from the very beginning? | 0:30:02 | 0:30:05 | |
You will certainly be exchanging one confusion for another. | 0:30:05 | 0:30:09 | |
Arguably, with better food. | 0:30:10 | 0:30:11 | |
OK, I think we're done here. | 0:30:15 | 0:30:16 | |
-OK, I love you. -Love you. | 0:30:16 | 0:30:19 | |
KISSING | 0:30:19 | 0:30:21 | |
Night, night. | 0:30:21 | 0:30:22 | |
BEEPING | 0:30:22 | 0:30:23 | |
In Jerusalem, I've realised how much I take life with Matthew for granted. | 0:30:32 | 0:30:37 | |
A recent study of gay teenagers in Israel revealed that one in five | 0:30:40 | 0:30:44 | |
have attempted suicide - | 0:30:44 | 0:30:46 | |
over 100 times the rate of the general population. | 0:30:46 | 0:30:49 | |
Like Tel Aviv, Jerusalem has a gay pride every year. | 0:30:51 | 0:30:54 | |
But in 2015, tragedy struck. | 0:30:55 | 0:30:58 | |
I'm meeting one of the organisers in the city's only gay bar. | 0:31:01 | 0:31:05 | |
Hello. | 0:31:05 | 0:31:07 | |
-Hey, babe. -Nice to meet you. -How are you? -Simon. -Eleanor. | 0:31:07 | 0:31:10 | |
How's things? | 0:31:10 | 0:31:12 | |
-Good. How are you? -I'm very well, thank you. | 0:31:12 | 0:31:15 | |
Can you take me back to last year, and exactly what happened? | 0:31:15 | 0:31:18 | |
At the parade. | 0:31:18 | 0:31:20 | |
Well, I was kind of | 0:31:20 | 0:31:24 | |
like, 100 metres up from where the killer got inside. | 0:31:24 | 0:31:28 | |
He pulled out a knife, and started running and stabbing. | 0:31:28 | 0:31:32 | |
And a lot of blood, a lot of blood on the street. | 0:31:32 | 0:31:37 | |
-Oh, my God. -A lot of chaos. Screaming. | 0:31:37 | 0:31:39 | |
Oh, my God, look at the size of that knife. | 0:31:51 | 0:31:53 | |
That's Jordan. He was one of the stabbees. | 0:31:59 | 0:32:02 | |
How many people died that day? | 0:32:02 | 0:32:04 | |
Six got stabbed, another got lightly injured. | 0:32:04 | 0:32:08 | |
And one girl, Shira Banki, was dead, | 0:32:08 | 0:32:11 | |
died after a couple of days in the hospital. | 0:32:11 | 0:32:14 | |
Poor thing. | 0:32:16 | 0:32:17 | |
It's so hard to watch this. | 0:32:20 | 0:32:22 | |
What age was she when she died? | 0:32:29 | 0:32:31 | |
She was almost 16. | 0:32:31 | 0:32:33 | |
She was 16? | 0:32:33 | 0:32:34 | |
She'd just got to the... | 0:32:36 | 0:32:38 | |
-Oh, my God! -She'd just finished the tenth grade. | 0:32:38 | 0:32:41 | |
I can't believe that. I didn't realise she was so young. | 0:32:46 | 0:32:49 | |
The assailant comes from a group of believers | 0:32:55 | 0:32:57 | |
who regard themselves as one of the most religiously authentic Jews of all. | 0:32:57 | 0:33:01 | |
Known as Haredi Jews, they make up a third of the population of Jerusalem. | 0:33:02 | 0:33:07 | |
Our attempts to speak to Haredi rabbis have been met with a wall of silence. | 0:33:08 | 0:33:12 | |
While very few condone the attacker, | 0:33:12 | 0:33:15 | |
I wonder to what extent this community might share his intolerance of homosexuality. | 0:33:15 | 0:33:21 | |
I've come to the suburb of Mea She'arim to find out. | 0:33:21 | 0:33:25 | |
Excuse me, do you speak English? | 0:33:25 | 0:33:28 | |
No, you don't. Was that not English I just heard? | 0:33:28 | 0:33:30 | |
Excuse me, do you speak English? | 0:33:31 | 0:33:33 | |
Do you speaking English? | 0:33:36 | 0:33:37 | |
Do you... Do you speak English. Can I? No. | 0:33:37 | 0:33:40 | |
It's funny, because it's a busy high street, but... | 0:33:43 | 0:33:45 | |
..I don't feel particularly safe here for some reason. | 0:33:46 | 0:33:50 | |
Even though, like, obviously it must be quite safe, | 0:33:50 | 0:33:53 | |
because it just looks like a normal busy high street. | 0:33:53 | 0:33:56 | |
Except it's quite a religious high street. | 0:33:56 | 0:33:58 | |
So... | 0:33:58 | 0:33:59 | |
And, like, I stick out like a sore thumb. | 0:33:59 | 0:34:01 | |
Everybody's staring at me. | 0:34:01 | 0:34:03 | |
I'm doing a documentary for the BBC. | 0:34:09 | 0:34:12 | |
We're just in Mea She'arim because we're asking people | 0:34:12 | 0:34:15 | |
what they think of being religious and gay. | 0:34:15 | 0:34:18 | |
Is it like... | 0:34:18 | 0:34:19 | |
-I don't know what that is. -You don't know what that is? | 0:34:19 | 0:34:22 | |
Please don't ask me, you're not going to like my opinion. | 0:34:24 | 0:34:27 | |
What is your opinion? | 0:34:27 | 0:34:29 | |
He'd rather not say. | 0:34:29 | 0:34:30 | |
-It's actually forbidden. -It's forbidden? -Yes. | 0:34:32 | 0:34:34 | |
The Torah forbids it. | 0:34:34 | 0:34:36 | |
It says, a man who sleeps with another man, die, he shall die. | 0:34:36 | 0:34:41 | |
You don't think so? | 0:34:47 | 0:34:49 | |
What if they are? Some people surely are religious and gay. | 0:34:49 | 0:34:52 | |
To be Jewish and gay? | 0:34:55 | 0:34:57 | |
Why? | 0:34:58 | 0:35:00 | |
It's an abomination, that's all. | 0:35:00 | 0:35:02 | |
That's all I have to say. Let's go. | 0:35:02 | 0:35:04 | |
I mean... | 0:35:11 | 0:35:12 | |
I'm lost for words, to be honest. | 0:35:12 | 0:35:15 | |
How could I, you know, come into this religion, | 0:35:15 | 0:35:18 | |
if it's an abomination to be gay? | 0:35:18 | 0:35:20 | |
If I have any gay thoughts, | 0:35:20 | 0:35:22 | |
I have to either shut them out or leave the religion. | 0:35:22 | 0:35:26 | |
But I'm not even... But I am gay | 0:35:26 | 0:35:28 | |
and I want to potentially be in the religion. | 0:35:28 | 0:35:31 | |
So how is that going to work for me? | 0:35:31 | 0:35:33 | |
This is a side to Judaism I haven't seen before. | 0:35:37 | 0:35:40 | |
People here live their lives according to a strict interpretation | 0:35:43 | 0:35:46 | |
of Old Testament law. | 0:35:46 | 0:35:47 | |
Modern, secular cultures rejected | 0:35:47 | 0:35:50 | |
and centuries-old traditions still continue, | 0:35:50 | 0:35:52 | |
such as this atonement ceremony, | 0:35:52 | 0:35:55 | |
in which the sins of a person | 0:35:55 | 0:35:57 | |
are symbolically transferred to a chicken. | 0:35:57 | 0:36:00 | |
I mean, it's absolute chaos. | 0:36:04 | 0:36:05 | |
Even like all the little kids... | 0:36:08 | 0:36:09 | |
I've never seen it before. | 0:36:09 | 0:36:11 | |
The chicken is then slaughtered and donated to the poor. | 0:36:14 | 0:36:18 | |
Maybe I'll be swinging a chicken round my head this time next year. | 0:36:22 | 0:36:26 | |
This ritual has been practised in the same way | 0:36:30 | 0:36:33 | |
for over a thousand years. | 0:36:33 | 0:36:34 | |
Finally, I have a lead. | 0:36:43 | 0:36:45 | |
One local community leader agrees to speak to me. | 0:36:45 | 0:36:48 | |
Shalom. | 0:36:57 | 0:36:58 | |
How are you? | 0:36:59 | 0:37:00 | |
Yul Krause has been an active voice in Mea She'arim since he was 17. | 0:37:03 | 0:37:08 | |
What do you think of people that are gay? | 0:37:08 | 0:37:11 | |
Do you think God looks at me in disdain because of my homosexuality? | 0:37:11 | 0:37:15 | |
Is he being serious? Are you being serious? | 0:37:49 | 0:37:51 | |
Can you... Could you put me through some kind of therapy | 0:37:51 | 0:37:54 | |
to try and get rid of my homosexuality? | 0:37:54 | 0:37:56 | |
But what medication would I take? | 0:38:04 | 0:38:07 | |
So, if your son was gay, | 0:38:10 | 0:38:12 | |
then you would give him medication, | 0:38:12 | 0:38:14 | |
rather than let him lead a gay lifestyle? | 0:38:14 | 0:38:18 | |
That's all just ridiculous. | 0:38:43 | 0:38:46 | |
It really, really angers me. | 0:38:46 | 0:38:48 | |
You know, after coming out of that chat, | 0:38:48 | 0:38:49 | |
I feel a lot safer in the religion that I'm in, actually. | 0:38:49 | 0:38:52 | |
Cos that really just... | 0:38:53 | 0:38:55 | |
It angered me, | 0:38:55 | 0:38:56 | |
and it also freaked me out that that is the way that they think. | 0:38:56 | 0:39:01 | |
That I have a disease. | 0:39:01 | 0:39:02 | |
That I need to be cured. | 0:39:03 | 0:39:05 | |
It's really hard to understand this attitude. | 0:39:06 | 0:39:09 | |
I guess my only way to make sense of it | 0:39:09 | 0:39:12 | |
is by accepting that while my world is constantly evolving, | 0:39:12 | 0:39:15 | |
that's not the case in this part of Israel. | 0:39:15 | 0:39:18 | |
Ultraorthodox views still exist, | 0:39:18 | 0:39:21 | |
and sometimes they spill into politics. | 0:39:21 | 0:39:23 | |
In February 2016, | 0:39:25 | 0:39:26 | |
the Israeli parliament refused to ban gay conversion therapy. | 0:39:26 | 0:39:30 | |
The Health Minister - a Haredi Jew himself - | 0:39:30 | 0:39:33 | |
compared gays to sinners during the debate. | 0:39:33 | 0:39:35 | |
Views that I think are unacceptable | 0:39:37 | 0:39:39 | |
exist in both Catholicism and Judaism. | 0:39:39 | 0:39:43 | |
Maybe it's better the devil you know than the devil you don't. | 0:39:43 | 0:39:46 | |
But there is one striking difference between the religions - | 0:39:49 | 0:39:53 | |
Jesus Christ. | 0:39:53 | 0:39:54 | |
For me to convert, | 0:39:59 | 0:40:00 | |
I simply wouldn't be able to believe that Jesus is the son of God. | 0:40:00 | 0:40:04 | |
Jews are still waiting for their Messiah to arrive. | 0:40:04 | 0:40:07 | |
There's no better place to find the clarity I need | 0:40:10 | 0:40:14 | |
than right here in Jerusalem. | 0:40:14 | 0:40:15 | |
This is where Jesus was crucified. | 0:40:15 | 0:40:18 | |
Every Friday, pilgrims and priests retrace Jesus' final steps. | 0:40:24 | 0:40:28 | |
You can get that smell straightaway. | 0:40:33 | 0:40:36 | |
-Yeah, the incense of the praying. -The incense... | 0:40:36 | 0:40:38 | |
It's so...strong... | 0:40:38 | 0:40:40 | |
-The good smell, like, rising to God. -Yeah. | 0:40:40 | 0:40:43 | |
As we arrive at the church where Jesus was buried, | 0:40:48 | 0:40:51 | |
I come across Frederique, a French trainee Catholic priest. | 0:40:51 | 0:40:56 | |
So, you've always been Catholic? | 0:40:56 | 0:40:59 | |
Yes, yes. | 0:40:59 | 0:41:02 | |
Why do you have such strong faith? | 0:41:02 | 0:41:04 | |
I can give a lot of reasons why Catholicism really, really... | 0:41:04 | 0:41:09 | |
..talked to me deeply. And... | 0:41:11 | 0:41:14 | |
But behind it, I met with Jesus Christ. | 0:41:14 | 0:41:16 | |
I feel like that, in some ways, | 0:41:17 | 0:41:19 | |
I've lost my faith in the Catholic Church... | 0:41:19 | 0:41:22 | |
..and in God and in Jesus Christ. | 0:41:23 | 0:41:26 | |
Have you ever waned in your religion? | 0:41:26 | 0:41:30 | |
It's a mark of authenticity to struggle with our faith. | 0:41:30 | 0:41:34 | |
You have a question now. Should I become a Jew? | 0:41:34 | 0:41:36 | |
Should I remain Catholic? | 0:41:36 | 0:41:39 | |
This is your question. | 0:41:39 | 0:41:41 | |
This answer is not going to the supermarket | 0:41:41 | 0:41:43 | |
and choosing a box for an Orthodox, | 0:41:43 | 0:41:45 | |
it's something very deep about your own self and identity. | 0:41:45 | 0:41:49 | |
The Church is not perfect. | 0:41:49 | 0:41:52 | |
If people make you think the Church is perfect, it's wrong. | 0:41:52 | 0:41:55 | |
But that is exactly what I thought. | 0:41:57 | 0:42:00 | |
Growing up, we were taught our Church was flawless. | 0:42:00 | 0:42:02 | |
Religion is not a magical...stick, you know? | 0:42:14 | 0:42:17 | |
Everything... changes into a beautiful world. | 0:42:17 | 0:42:20 | |
It would not be so easy. | 0:42:20 | 0:42:22 | |
My advice will be that you really have to listen | 0:42:24 | 0:42:27 | |
to what your heart is telling you to go to. | 0:42:27 | 0:42:30 | |
For example, "Oh, you know, I want to live with my boyfriend but... | 0:42:30 | 0:42:35 | |
"..he say I'm a Catholic, a Christian Catholic. | 0:42:36 | 0:42:39 | |
"If he is a Jew, there would be a friction." | 0:42:39 | 0:42:42 | |
Yes, there would be a friction. | 0:42:42 | 0:42:43 | |
But this friction, maybe, is the beauty of diversity. | 0:42:43 | 0:42:46 | |
Maybe that would be a richness for your couple to be together, | 0:42:47 | 0:42:53 | |
and not the opposite. | 0:42:53 | 0:42:54 | |
In the centre of the church lies the tomb of Jesus Christ. | 0:42:58 | 0:43:02 | |
This is where the Bible says he rose from the dead. | 0:43:04 | 0:43:08 | |
In a religion with little tangible proof of anything, | 0:43:09 | 0:43:13 | |
it's overwhelming to touch something | 0:43:13 | 0:43:15 | |
that physically connects me to Jesus. | 0:43:15 | 0:43:18 | |
This is not the right time to do this now. | 0:43:25 | 0:43:27 | |
Just let me... I just need... | 0:43:27 | 0:43:29 | |
I can't do this now. | 0:43:29 | 0:43:30 | |
It's just... It's a lot to take in. | 0:43:33 | 0:43:36 | |
I'm slightly overwhelmed by this whole experience. | 0:43:37 | 0:43:40 | |
I've returned to Tel Aviv to get some space to think. | 0:43:56 | 0:43:59 | |
It's astonishing to think that people here are united | 0:44:01 | 0:44:05 | |
with those in Jerusalem under the banner of Judaism. | 0:44:05 | 0:44:08 | |
But maybe that's the beauty of this religion. | 0:44:10 | 0:44:13 | |
As a Catholic, I have the Pope and his word is final. | 0:44:14 | 0:44:18 | |
But there is no ultimate moral authority in Judaism. | 0:44:18 | 0:44:22 | |
Instead, each rabbi interprets the Torah in their own way, | 0:44:22 | 0:44:27 | |
allowing for a diversity of views to exist. | 0:44:27 | 0:44:30 | |
This will be one of the hardest decisions I will ever have to make. | 0:44:32 | 0:44:36 | |
But before I do, | 0:44:37 | 0:44:39 | |
my friend Jonathan has invited me to celebrate Yom Kippur with him - | 0:44:39 | 0:44:43 | |
the holiest day of the year in Judaism. | 0:44:43 | 0:44:45 | |
According to Jewish tradition, | 0:44:48 | 0:44:50 | |
God inscribes each person's fate for the coming year into a book of life. | 0:44:50 | 0:44:56 | |
Jews have until sunset tonight to seek atonement | 0:44:56 | 0:44:59 | |
before God seals his verdict. | 0:44:59 | 0:45:02 | |
SHE SINGS | 0:45:02 | 0:45:04 | |
The blowing of the shofar - the ram's horn - | 0:45:06 | 0:45:09 | |
symbolises the closing of the book, | 0:45:09 | 0:45:11 | |
and the time to be honest with yourself and God. | 0:45:11 | 0:45:15 | |
And I now know where I stand. | 0:45:15 | 0:45:17 | |
Before I came here, | 0:45:23 | 0:45:24 | |
it was obvious to me that Catholicism was far from perfect. | 0:45:24 | 0:45:27 | |
But, you know, coming here has made me realise | 0:45:28 | 0:45:31 | |
that Judaism is also far from perfect. | 0:45:31 | 0:45:34 | |
What I need to do is just face up to the fact that... | 0:45:36 | 0:45:40 | |
I'm never going to be fully accepted in either religion, | 0:45:41 | 0:45:44 | |
and I need to pick and choose the parts of that religion that work for me. | 0:45:44 | 0:45:48 | |
You know, I think I'm better being a Catholic man | 0:45:48 | 0:45:52 | |
who can't get married in a Catholic church | 0:45:52 | 0:45:55 | |
with a Jewish boyfriend whose culture and community I can... | 0:45:55 | 0:46:01 | |
..appreciate. | 0:46:02 | 0:46:04 | |
And I have to be happy with that. | 0:46:05 | 0:46:06 | |
And I am happy with that. | 0:46:09 | 0:46:10 |