No Way Out Bangkok Airport

This programme contains some strong language.

Bangkok Airport is like no other airport on earth.

-Welcome to Thailand.

-The reason why we're smiling.

It's where East meets West...

Ching, ching, ching. Ching, ching, ching.

..Buddhist meets backpacker...

That way to the beach.

..and traveller meets trouble.

You'll never see me in Thailand ever again.

-No! No!

-HE TALKS IN THAI

Yes!

-And, if the culture seem strange...

-Free hugs?

..the language seems foreign...

Sawasdee ka.

..and you're 6,000 miles from home...

I'm stuck in Bangkok.

..don't panic. There's an army of staff waiting to help you out...

RADIO BUZZES, ALARM BLARES

..one way...

How may I help you?

..or another.

Get in the line.

So whether it's your gateway to a million

once-in-a-lifetime experiences...

It's all about love, love, love and love.

..or just the ticket to a good, old-fashioned holiday nightmare...

Look at all the cancelled flights!

..this is your final call.

Really happy. Everyone.

-Welcome...

-Passport, please.

..to Bangkok Airport.

Every year, millions of visitors pour into Bangkok Airport.

But what happens when you can't pour out?

I've lost my British passport.

I need cash.

Today, a panic attack grounds Sarah in departures.

-I need to go today.

-It's a long time. Mm-hm?

I need to go today.

Army vet John is down to his last 20p.

I'm thinking about just...

doing something stupid and getting in jail.

And Atul, from India, is detained by the tourist police.

HE SHOUTS IN HINDI

'I've been through such extreme behaviours'

the battlefield being the airport.

Thailand may be a dream holiday destination...

I think you've got to experience it, to be honest.

..but where do you turn when there's no way out?

They call Bangkok the "Airport of Smiles"

and Darren from Chingford can't wait to see the back of it.

-PLANE RUMBLES

-As you can see, it's a beautiful,

lovely, lovely airport.

But, unfortunately, I lost my British passport, so I'm stranded.

I want to go home.

He may have lost his most precious possession,

but Darren's not panicking.

He's planning to pick up an emergency passport

from the British Embassy first thing tomorrow.

So, to the British Embassy. I'll see you in the morning.

Please get my visa, emergency passport ready.

Cos Darren Bond needs to go home.

Darren's missus is already on her way back to London

and he's hoping that...

-Ooh...

-To be honest, I'm going to have to go.

-I don't want to... Sorry to cut you short.

-OK.

But I really need to drive, cos I have a emergency funds,

because I'm tired, but thank you for your time and Happy New Year and...

We love England, mate. We're coming home.

But, inside the terminal, things take a turn for the worse.

An emergency passport costs money

and the cash machine doesn't want to know.

Luckily, there's another cash machine next door,

but that doesn't want to know either.

I need £95 for the British Embassy

to issue my emergency passport tomorrow.

So I'm a bit erm...I'm trying to stay calm and find a solution.

Erm, obviously, I'm in a...

I've never been to Bangkok before in my life and erm...

Yeah. I'm very tired, I haven't slept.

But I'm going to call the bank, I reckon now.

And, basically, tell them the situation.

But calling a Mumbai call centre

from a Bangkok payphone is famously hard.

Adviser, please.

Adviser, adviser, adviser, please.

-HE SPEAKS SLOWLY:

-I've lost my British passport.

I'm stuck in Bangkok. Yeah?

My missus is flying, now, to Heathrow.

I need cash.

My friend, my friend, your colleague, your colleague

has confirmed it to me.

Your colleague said after three minutes it will be released.

I don't know what you're playing at, mate.

Can't withdraw, don't shout at me. It's been 20 minutes, mate. Please?

Are you trying to depress me, mate, or what?

Do me a favour and can you

release my money, please? Cos I'm getting annoyed now.

Is that...?

Hello?

An hour ago, Darren had no passport.

Now, he's got no passport and no way of getting one.

Home is starting to look a long way away, but he's still not panicking.

I know they're doing their job.

I'm not putting the bank down, but they have...

because of the extra stringent security, erm...

It has put me in a bad situation, to be honest with you.

So, I'm thinking, what am I going to do, man?

Then again, there are worse places to be stranded.

Well, I am going to say that this airport...

..is one of the best airports I've seen.

MUSIC: If You're Looking For A Way Out by Odyssey

# If you're looking for a way out #

Darren's not the only one having trouble leaving Bangkok Airport.

Oh, I'm lost now. I'm late.

-Hang on, where are we going?

-I'm really not too sure.

# And if you're looking for a way out. #

The terminal's full of confused-looking tourists who are...

-HE SINGS:

-..looking for a way out.

Still no idea where I'm going.

-Er, it's stressful.

-Yeah, stressful and...

mental. Absolutely crazy.

-I think we're lost again.

-Yeah, well...

Only just got in the airport and we're lost already.

This is how good we are.

Luckily, help is always at hand,

because Bangkok Airport has its own dedicated police force.

A 90-strong team who specialise in helping travellers in trouble.

Whatever your problem, chances are they're across it.

Among the elite corps are officers Teay and Baitong.

-BOTH:

-Sawasdee ka.

They're your first call when anything goes wrong.

If they've lost something, they don't know anything,

trust the tourist police.

'Very funny world.'

Very exciting world here. Everything is here.

Day and night, Baitong and the team tour the airport,

looking for confused people to help.

Bemused Brits, a speciality.

'When a person says they saw'

the uniform of the tourist police and they think, in their opinion,

they think the police can help them with everything.

But it's all worthwhile when a grateful traveller leaves

a message in the police friendship book.

-SHE READS

-"Thank you very much to the cutest

"police woman I ever met".

Yeah!

-Whoa!

-LAUGHTER

And, in their battle to keep the airport in order,

the tourist police have a secret weapon.

They call it a Segway.

MUSIC: Blue Danube Waltz by Johann Strauss

You control by the foot.

Forward and backward.

When we turn left, move like this.

Turn right, move like this.

Great.

But policing the airport is a serious business.

Baitong's been called back to base to help Teay deal

with a British passenger in distress.

THEY TALK

I'm shaking. I've got no sugar in me.

Got no food.

Feel like I'm about to collapse.

John's a former squaddie, who's spent the last two years travelling,

but, after a run of bad luck, the road's ended here.

His passport, plane ticket and money all stolen.

Basically, I'm stuck in Thailand.

My visa's ran out. And I'm...

-I've got no money, all been stolen.

-Right.

No food.

No water.

I've got ten baht in my pocket.

I'm thinking about just...

THEY TALK IN THAI

..going and doing something stupid and getting in jail,

where I can be found and looked after.

John's desperate to get back to Britain

and he's struggling to keep it together.

I've took over 100 milligrams of diazepam in the last hour,

just trying... Calm, to keep me calm.

But they have been... They're trying to help.

Just take a seat. Breathe easy.

We try to help and try to get some help from the embassy

also to try to contact the airline for you.

But you have to be cool for us. OK?

-I am cool.

-The problem can go away if you take it easy.

'We have to talk with the embassy.'

The last choice.

So, maybe the embassy will contact his family or...

someone who can help him.

Well, you can help me by erm...

getting me back to England.

I don't know what to do.

So I'll make my way to the embassy now, yeah?

They want to speak to one of yous, tourist officers.

The embassy say they'll try to help John,

but he'll need to show up in person.

I talked to the embassy and they told me

-you have to take a taxi to go there,

-HE GRUNTS

-but the taxi you have to pay by yourself.

-I'm...

-Of course?

-I c... What? With ten baht?

-TEAY TALKS

-Oh!

I'll rob your stuff, or I'll go to jail.

The problem is he don't have money to pay.

He said he have only ten baht.

With John down to his last 20p, Teay and Baitong

decide to help him out of their own pockets.

We'll give you some money.

Private money we will give you.

Private money?

I don't know. I'm not sure how much,

-THEY TALK IN THAI

-but I will give you 300 baht.

For transport and accommodation to embassy.

THEY TALK IN THAI

John's beginning to feel there's no way out.

I was all nice and happy yesterday.

Ready for my trip back to the UK.

See the friends and family.

HE CHOKES

HE RETCHES

HE COUGHS

Is there erm...tissues in the back?

Drank my water too quick.

HE COUGHS

At the embassy, John's given some money for the night

and an appointment for tomorrow, but his future's still up in the air.

Who knows?

Maybe I'll have to live on the streets of Bangkok.

And er...

I've got a cushion in my bag and...

..a pillow, so...

just...

be on the streets of Bangkok.

For the next few years. Join...

..I'll find some other homeless gangs.

If getting out of Bangkok can be tough,

getting in isn't a doddle either.

Immigration is your first barrier

and it can be a tense time for new arrivals.

You know you've not done anything wrong,

but just seeing all the guards, you're like...

Just hold on to my bags.

They told me to shave, cos they prefer

if you come in their country shaven.

I'm kind of worried about my passport number.

It's not the same as the old one.

I don't want to be banged up here.

Sorry, I'm in a bit of a tizz. I thought I had it all.

The golden rule is to have all your paperwork ready.

Have I not giv...? It's not that one, is it?

Bangkok's one of the top long haul destinations

for young British backpackers.

Hang on. I've got...

Sorry. I do have it here.

Lara's jacked in her job to spend a year travelling.

Photo, please.

Somewhere.

But even backpackers need an address for their first night.

I don't know if they're...

It's on Khaosan Road.

Thank you.

'I was a bit scared then. For a minute there.'

But now I'm through passport control, I feel excited again.

Mm! Yay!

My bag made it. Woohoo!

Bangkok can be overwhelming, but Lara's done her research.

'The flight was long, but I just watch films.'

One of which was The Beach, because I thought it would prep me

for coming to Thailand and I'm really glad I watched it.

Can't wait to see Bangkok tonight.

Lara's going to meet her friend, Becca, at the airport,

-but where is she?

-Erm... No sign of Becca.

Uh-oh. She should be here by now. She should be, shouldn't she?

Oh. Hang on, I got a text. OK.

She can't get through immigration without the hostel details.

Becca's here. Can't wait to see her. I'm so excited.

Woo-hoo!

Eventually, they're reunited.

-Hello.

-You're here!

'The people at immigration seemed really nice, actually.'

When I said I didn't have my hotel details, she just went, "Oh, no."

So, I'm guessing it happens quite a lot.

This is it. This is where all of it actually starts.

I want to feel the heat!

Lara and Becca have one night in Bangkok.

Just time to taste the nightlife, before coming back to the airport

to catch the early morning flight to Phuket.

Well, that's the theory.

We're going to spend one night in Bangkok.

Please, Khaosan Road?

'And, tomorrow, we're going down to Phuket early in the morning.

'We're flying at eight in the morning, so whatever we do tonight,'

we have to make sure that we are completely with it tomorrow.

'I'm hoping we're not going to sleep tonight.'

Sorry, Mum. Erm...

we'll go down Khaosan Road, mix in with the backpackers

and, then, go straight on our flight tomorrow.

We have to make the most of it.

You snooze, you lose.

While Lara's adventure is just beginning,

in downtown Bangkok, Darren just wants a way out.

Basically, I've come in to get an emergency passport, erm...

and to get back home to the United Kingdom, basically.

To London, where I live with my family all my life.

The bank has unblocked his card, but ploughing through

the application process is a real ballache.

It's very stressful. But I'm trying to stay calm and just get it done.

Because, if I start worrying, then, I'm not going to get it done, so...

I'm trying my best to stay calm.

Darren's not alone. Britain's near the top of the international

lost passports league table, who like to keep airport staff,

like Khajib, on their toes.

The number one case for British people is lost passport.

Every day, tourists tell me, "We forgot it in a taxi",

"We forgot it in a toilet."

And it's not just us Brits.

I forgot to take it with me, when I got off the plane.

Maybe on the toilet I put it, or erm...

Can you give me your name, please?

So, you will see many passports here.

-SHE LAUGHS

-This one and this one.

Lots of passports.

Reuniting passenger and passport isn't always straightforward.

John's stolen passport is just the latest

in a string of misfortunes that have left him stranded in Bangkok.

Well, I was in the Grenadier Guards.

I joined when I was about 20 years old.

The first three years were doing public duties,

standing outside Buckingham Palace, you know?

With the big bearskin and the...

Yeah, so it was quite strict and mundane.

And, then, Afghan was just a total different ballgame.

It was...

just...

I suppose... Well, it was a war zone, weren't it?

We went into a village

and, then, the Taliban just came out with an RPG.

Struck me, I think it hit me in the chest.

And took my fingers off.

I can't really tell you much after that.

I woke up in Birmingham six weeks later.

I had a traumatic brain injury.

Erm...

Lost most of my left hand,

a few scars, broken jaw, a few broken bones here and there.

It was a tracheotomy. I think they done it on the helicopter.

I'm not sure how they done it, but it damaged my voice box a bit.

So...

But I'm alive. That's the main thing.

Many of us ain't.

John left the Army five years ago, but part of him still misses it.

I want to see the world.

That's what I joined the Army for, but, obviously,

I'm not in the Army any more.

So, I'll see the world on my own.

This trip, this is to, basically, find myself, I suppose.

And...

hopefully, return to England...

..a better man than I left.

But England seems a long way off.

For the moment, at least, he's stuck in Bangkok with no way out.

At Bangkok Airport, Jacob, Brad, Dane and Grant

are looking for a way out, too.

-I don't even know where we're going.

-We don't know where the exit is.

We've come this far, we can't get lost now. We're here.

-Exit.

-Yeah, that way.

The boys from Kent have just flown in.

They've taken a month off work to discover Thailand.

I work in a fish and chip shop.

-Er, Dane's a delivery driver.

-I'm a delivery driver.

-Grant's a scientist.

-Yeah.

-And Jacob's a zookeeper.

-Nah, I just work for a safari park.

He's a lion tamer.

Go with that. It's so much cooler.

The boys will travel round the islands for a month,

ending up at the Full Moon party at Koh Phangan.

It's somewhere we've never been before, so we thought

we'd change it up. Rather than going on a normal lads' holiday to

Malia or Magaluf, or anything like that, it would be

a bit better to go further afield and see more of the world.

I don't know. Just do Thailand while you're young,

while you don't have responsibilities, kids or anything.

Just get it out of the way and done with. There's a month!

I'm going out there for a month.

I think you got to experience it, to be honest.

I think you've got to take it by the horns.

And just rattle it into submission, sort of thing.

-LAUGHTER

-Getting in deep with ladyboys.

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, no!

-Oh, that's bad!

I'll come out for the parties. That's about it, really.

I got to be careful what I say. My missus will be listening.

I'm the only one with one.

Under the thumb and you're nowhere near.

-That's it.

-Hundreds of miles away! THEY LAUGH

-Do you know where it is?

-Yeah.

But nothing in Kent prepares you for that first blast of Bangkok heat.

-Oh, my God. It's warm.

-Oh-ho-ho-ho! Good...

-..God!

-It's really hot.

-It's really hot.

I'm wearing ski socks, cos my feet got a bit cold.

-THEY LAUGH

-It's like Where's Wally?

-I'm sweating.

-We need to get straight in the pool.

Need to go and jump in a pool and get a beer, or something.

-And just chill out.

-Yeah.

Cold beer and a swimming pool sounds amazing right now.

So, are they ready for the trip of their lives?

The worst thing, like, obviously, one of us falling ill,

getting injured, ending up in hospital.

That's got to be the worst thing. Worst-case scenario.

-Touch wood, that won't happen.

-I wouldn't say it's dangerous.

-Hello?

-Just ain't as dangerous as what you think it is.

-Quite possibly, yeah.

-Every country's dangerous.

-Yeah. Yeah.

Every country's dangerous in their own way.

It makes it more dangerous us never being here,

so we're going to have to keep our wits about us, as we're going round,

and keep our heads screwed on.

We like to think we're four intelligent lads

and we'll be able to manage it, but...

I guess time will tell.

The boys may be quietly confident,

but holiday mishaps are ten to the baht in Thailand.

At the medical centre, travellers can find their holiday

extended indefinitely if doctors decide they're not fit to fly.

On standby today...

Sawadsee ka.

..is Dr Parn.

Working here inside the airport is quite a stressful job

and complicated, because we don't deal with just the diseased.

'In some cases, they don't want to postpone the flight,

'so I have to advise them that you should not fly.'

If you fly...

everything will become worse and nobody can help you.

On the plus side, the hours are good and you get your own Segway.

Everybody would like to use it, too.

When we pass a group of people,

they will be shouting out loud, "That was a Segway!"

Mm-hm. Very exciting.

Suddenly, the medical centre takes a call.

There's an emergency in departures.

I was informed that there was a patient

that has a difficulty of breathing.

So we have to go to the fourth floor.

THEY TALK, ALARM BLARES

With initial details sketchy,

doctors never know exactly what to expect.

'I cannot predict what I will see, with the patient.'

Maybe just only fainting, hyperventilation, or maybe...

-THEY TALK

-the real serious problem.

ALARM BLARES

Up on the fourth floor, Dr Parn finds 22-year-old Sarah

in the grip of an apparent panic attack.

THEY TALK IN THAI

SHE WHIMPERS

-It's OK.

-It's OK, it's OK.

-Everything will be fine.

SHE CRIES

-MACHINE BEEPS

-You can breathe,

because your oxygen is OK. Your oxygen is very normal.

-OK. OK.

-OK?

-MACHINE BEEPS

-OK?

-RADIO BUZZES

-Where are you flying to?

-Melbourne.

-But it's a long time.

-I need to go today.

-Mm-hm?

-I need to go today.

-Yes, I know.

And what time are you flying? When is your flight?

-Two o'clock.

-Two o'clock?

-2.15pm.

-I see.

-Melbourne 6am.

-Don't worry. We still have time. OK?

-I need to...

-SHE GROANS

-OK?

-Come on, I'll check for you.

-No! No needles.

-No needles?

-No needles?

Could we ask you a question?

What is the cause making your panic attacks?

Oh, just...

-I've been worried about where I am.

-Mm-hm.

-Because I was sick.

-Uh-huh.

-Let's check now.

-My family have

-high blood pressure heart attacks.

-Uh-huh.

MACHINE BEEPS, THEY TALK

But, right now, it's fine. 120/80.

-It's normal. It's very good.

-OK.

-Don't worry.

THEY TALK IN THAI

With Sarah hyperventilating, Dr Parn wants to calm her down

back at the medical centre.

I will bring you to our clinic

-on the first floor.

-SHE GROANS

With your luggage. OK?

The first things that she said to us is that she's got panic attack.

I haven't deserved any of this. Stupid.

So, it means that this is not the first time

that she's suffered from this.

Maybe it happened so many times.

I'm just dizzy, cos I just didn't breathe properly for a long time.

-Where are we going?

-Our clinic in the airport.

When we saw her, we check her blood pressure,

her oxygen, everything is fine. Just only from her stress.

-I just want to go on the plane.

-Yes.

Right now, I will bring her to our clinic.

Maybe we will observe her, for her clinical, for at least 30 minutes.

Sarah's going to have to calm down quickly

if she's going to make her flight back home.

Many passengers find themselves staying in Bangkok

longer than they bargained for, like Lara and Becca.

They're back at the airport after their night out on the Khaosan Road.

-There, see?

-Yes!

We've got about ten minutes to spare, if we're lucky.

They missed their early morning plane to Phuket,

so they've had to book a new flight and, now, they're late for that.

So, last night, we went out in Bangkok.

We went down Khaosan Road. Went to a few bars and things

and it was all good, we left on time.

And, then...yeah, we didn't set our alarm.

And we woke up at 9:30.

And we were meant to be in Phuket at 9:30.

I hope we have enough time to go through security.

We'll find out now. I hope so.

No. This is it, I think.

Phuket attracts more than ten million visitors a year

and most of them seem to be checking in today.

I'm freaking out a bit. I'm think I'm going to go and ask someone.

A staff member...

if we're going to be OK.

Cos we need to check in by 11 and it's now...

nearly 11:30 and I'm freaking out.

Is that someone? I'll go and ask the guy, OK?

The only way out is to jump the queue.

To miss one flight might be careless, but to miss two...

The lady said that I can check in on the machine.

-Shall I go and try and do it, while you're there?

-Yep.

-OK.

Please be OK.

It's printing boarding passes. Yay!

They've got their boarding passes,

but just 20 minutes to make the gate.

We're all checked in and we've got to go and get our flight now.

Whoo!

And when they finally get there...

-It's delayed.

-Can you believe it?

-How very dare they?

-How erm...

There's the plane! Let's just get on. I'm knackered.

Ugh, let's just get on. Just go.

We could have been on the beach by now.

TANNOY: Flight PT 924 bound for Phuket

is now ready for boarding.

Wahey! We can't wait to get on that flight.

-TANNOY ECHOES

-Yeah, next stop Phuket.

Five hours later than planned, they're finally on their way.

And their adventure is just beginning.

While Lara and Becca head off to the islands,

there's good news for Darren, too.

He's finally got hold of his emergency passport

and London's calling.

-HE LAUGHS Yeah!

-Yeah!

London Town, baby!

Touch it? Nope! HE LAUGHS

-Wow.

-Oh, thank you for everything. I've got the passport now.

-I'm going home.

-Uh-huh.

-We say in England, "sweet, sweet home".

'Ey? Do we?

-Yeah.

-Thank you.

England, mate!

Passport.

Boom, boom. So, let's go.

Back to England.

Hello, sir.

The British man is going to go now.

You take care. Thank you.

Thank you.

Airport please, sir.

-Hello, mate.

-Hello.

-You OK?

-Yeah, OK.

-Good.

-Thank you for the drive to the airport.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, thank you.

-You're welcome.

-Pleased, cos we've got the passport now.

-Uh-huh.

We can leave Bankoky. DRIVER TALKS

Ah! I, you know, apply for passport.

Yes, passport now. English one. British.

-You like that?

-Taxi, uh?

-Yes.

Oh, no good!

-No, we can leave now.

-Yeah?

-We can leave Bangkok.

-London, OK.

-No, no.

-Let's go.

Darren's holiday hasn't gone quite as planned.

Here we go. Check-in time. Yeah!

But he's seeing it as a learning experience.

It's been very difficult.

A lot of paperwork involved and I would advise anybody...

Just be so cautious with your British passport,

because you don't realise how valuable it is until you lose it.

-Erm...passport.

-Yes.

-Please, be careful, please.

Great Britain. Here we come.

But not quite yet.

-Paperwork, please?

-Sorry?

-Fill the form.

-I fill the form first?

-Yes.

-Shall I go over here and come back?

-Yes.

Thank you. OK.

Darren's forgotten to complete his boarding card.

-You come back here.

-Can I borrow a pen, please?

While Darren tackles his final piece of paperwork,

Sarah's in the medical centre, still unsure whether

she'll be able to catch her flight.

-I just want to get on the plane!

-Just don't worry.

-That's my bag!

-OK.

It's not bumping my back.

MACHINE BEEPS I'm OK. Where's my passport?

THEY TALK IN THAI

I feel like a medical prisoner.

After Sarah's panic attack at the gate,

Dr Parn must decide if she's fit to fly.

And what about the tablets that you take for panic?

-I just breathe into a bag.

-I will prescribe some for you.

-I can't do injec... I don't do needles.

-No injection, just...

-I can't. No, I can't.

-Maybe, could you put it under your tongue?

-I can't. I can't.

-OK.

-SHE SPEAKS IN THAI

-Is it a needle? I don't like needles.

-Actually, it's not a needle.

-It's just...

-It's a...

-Oh, OK.

-No, under armpit.

-OK.

-Mm-hm?

Please...

Sarah's suffered panic attacks in the past,

but it's worse when it happens so far from home.

'It normally happens when I'm with lots of people. In a crowded space.'

And a bit stressed.

And they normally last a couple of hours

and I get better by breathing through a McDonald's bag.

But I can't communicate that to anyone.

Cos no-one understood me, or was just staring at me. Mm.

Mm-hm.

I think that most foreign passengers...

quite often do get panic attacks.

This condition is not a real, physical disease,

it's just a mental disorder.

The attack is just the latest in a series of holiday mishaps.

I don't think Thailand likes me very much.

Food poisoning...

I did a cooking class and got chilli in my eye.

SHE WHISPERS: Oh, I just want to go.

-It's a beautiful country.

-Mm-hm.

After Sarah's had a 15-minute nap,

Dr Parn returns to deliver her verdict.

-Feeling better now?

-Feeling better.

OK. Don't worry. I will make a call to inform the airline staff

that you're fit to fly, so they can check in for you.

A moment.

'I think that, so far, for this case, she can fly,'

because she knows what happened to her

and she knows how to control that.

So I don't concern a lot.

Am I staying in the wheelchair, or am I walking?

-I bring...

-You're going to take me? That's good.

TANNOY ECHOES

I had to give the medical certificate and, then, it was sorted.

Very easy. Straight through, bags all packed in,

so I'm off to Melbourne.

Sarah's got her fit to fly certificate,

but how fit to fly is she?

I'm not feeling good at all.

Dizzy, I feel like I'm going to vomit.

I don't know how I'm going to be like with takeoff,

but I need to be on this plane.

As boarding time nears, the anxiety returns.

Oh! I don't like the look of those planes taking off.

For a moment, it's not looking great.

I can't do this.

How am I going to do this?

But, at the 11th hour, she rallies.

Hope it goes quickly.

MUSIC: Back Packing by Eliza Doolittle

# I'm back packing, packing back

# Oooh you need that real woman

# Who keeps your secrets in her book bag #

Away from the stresses and strains of Bangkok Airport

lie Thailand's holiday islands,

a magnet for thousands of Brits

heading for the famous Full Moon parties.

Joining the crowds this month are Brad and the boys from Kent.

You've got to do the Full Moon. It's part of the package.

It's one of those things you've got to experience once.

If you don't do it, you're a bit like...

why have you come to Thailand?

After ten days, the boys are having a great time.

Apart from the odd dodgy curry.

Some of the food has gone straight through me.

-It's absolutely ridiculous, like...

-THEY LAUGH

-It's just undescribable.

-Don't eat as much Thai food as everybody says.

-Yeah.

-That's not a great idea.

-It's good to pick at the culture,

-but, really...

-It goes straight through you. It's horrible.

Everyone was like, "Yeah, just a bit of sauce",

and then you end up fucking soaking in it.

-And you're like...

-LAUGHTER

It's not until you bite in and you think,

-"That is going to kick me in the arse tomorrow morning."

-Yeah.

And it does. It really does. It's weird. It's just ridiculous.

Thai tummy aside, the main worry is Brad's complete failure to pull.

There's plenty of girls here. You're just not confident enough

-to talk to 'em.

-Hopefully...

someone, like, will get desperate and start crying,

so I can, kind of, make a move on 'em.

THEY LAUGH Oh, no!

MUSIC: Shots by LMFAO

CROWD BUZZES

Let's go to fucking partay!

Whoo!

-# Let's go

-Yeah!

# When I walk in the club

-# All eyes on me

-Yeah!

# La, da, da, da

# La, da, da, da, da, da

# La, da, da, da

# La, da, da, da, da, da. #

The parties may be a blast, but, back at Bangkok Airport,

the tourist police spend a lot of time dealing with Full Moon fallout.

The young people come to Thailand. They just don't think.

Everything's too much.

Just troubles at parties, when someone loses everything.

I think, maybe, it's the reason that can make them...

be like this.

I had my passport between my wallet and, now, it's not there any more.

-You know, it must be on the aeroplane, or something.

-Oh.

Today, Baitong and Teay are trying to help

Full Moon reveller Eemeli get back to Finland.

THEY TALK IN THAI I don't even have a cellphone,

because I lost that, too.

That's not a story.

Fresh from the party, Eemeli's lost his passport,

mobile and money. But where and when and how?

I really can't tell you, because I don't even know it myself.

At the parties, it's Koh Phangan.

SHE TALKS IN THAI

-OK. Just now, on the airline, they're trying shaking.

-OK.

And looking for your passport, so you have to wait in here

and they will try to call back.

-So I will be...there...?

-Wait here. Wait here.

-OK.

For Eemeli, the last few days have been a bit of a blur.

We were partying and...

I found myself bleeding in the forest.

There was blood coming out of my head.

I don't got my cellphone with me and I don't got my money, or anything

and I've even got some strict dog's collar around my neck

and there was this big...

erm...

big clock and...

I don't know anything about that night, yeah.

I don't want to be that kind of a stupid boy any more that I have been.

And I don't have to get fucked up any more so much.

-So I just want to get home.

-OK. Thank you.

-OK, sir. You have good news.

-OK.

The staff of the airline, they found your passport.

-And, then, you have to wait here.

-Oh!

-They will bring it here.

-Thank God. 15 minutes. Thank God.

-That's a good story. Thanks.

Thank you so much.

He is so lucky.

My heart was beating.

This is our last night here, at Bangkok, and...

I don't want to do anything stupid any more, so...

I just have to be careful now.

Relieved, remorseful and reunited with his passport,

Eemeli's free to fly back to Finland.

I'm so glad, for the moment.

It just changed my life.

Thanks for everyone. OK.

-Thanks.

-You can get home.

-Yeah.

MUSIC: Wasted by Tiesto featuring Matthew Koma

Thailand's reputation as a party destination can throw up all kinds

of problems at the airport. Not just for the police.

Officer Beam works over in check-in.

Boarding pass, please.

She's become highly skilled in spotting

the telltale signs of tipsiness.

Their face will be red and their smell...

how they talk to me.

Yeah. Someone, someone...

they drink beer in front of me.

They strip.

They take off... Yeah, take off their clothes

in front of the cabin crew.

Yeah.

'So I have to take that passenger to the police station'

and he's...

Oh.

No!

What do ya think?

Anyone who appears too intoxicated can find themselves

stuck in Bangkok until they sober up.

Just follow the rules, but try to tell them properly. Yeah.

No matter how angry they are.

Did you have a party?

Are you OK? Do you want to go on another flight?

Do you want to take a rest first?

Today, Lewis and Grant are on their way home to Cornwall

and Lewis is feeling a bit fragile.

I didn't get in till, like, six o'clock this morning.

I had to get up at eight for my taxi.

But it's been worth it for eight wild weeks

and a Full Moon party to remember.

-I had two months of absolute, pure fun.

-Yeah.

-And I'm gutted to go home right now.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Bullshit.

Two months of absolute carnage.

-How are you?

-Fine, sir. Thank you very much.

-Yeah.

-And you?

-Banging.

-OK.

'On New Year's Eve,'

Koh Phangan, that was epic.

30,000 people raving on the beach.

Can't get better than that.

-I want to get a Chang.

-Chang? Time for a beer.

-Yeah.

I've downed all this water.

Lewis and Grant passed Beam's sobriety check

with flying colours, despite having a late one.

Last night was... The final night was messy.

-Yeah, it was good.

-I'm dying now.

-Yeah, it was good.

-But, yeah, it was good times.

-Yeah, mushroom shakes.

HE LAUGHS Yeah, mushroom shakes!

I fell off a balcony, a two-storey balcony

and got away scot-free, pretty much.

That's why have a lucky horseshoe tattoo, see?

With Lewis's lucky horseshoe working overtime,

the boys gallop through immigration.

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

Airside, Lewis celebrates with a beer,

but Grant's still working up to it.

Trying to get some life in me, so I can get a Chang down my throat.

I need one final Chang before I leave Thailand.

-One? Six.

-Or a few, yeah.

But, as the gate gets nearer, Grant feels queerer.

HE RETCHES

Must have been something he ate.

Raw chicken on Khaosan Road. Not a good idea.

-That actually looks like piss.

-It looks like wee.

-I feel all right.

-Oh, well.

-You've just got to get on with it.

-Yeah.

-It's part of the fun of Asia.

Live on the toilet for a night.

And, then, you'll be all right the next day.

It just happens that I'm in the airport,

-so I looked like a feral beast.

-Yeah.

-Oh, no. It's leaking, I think.

-Eugh, oh.

-Oh, no.

Right, let's go empty it.

As Grant's condition worsens, Lewis stages an intervention.

I got him some water, a sandwich and some crisps.

This going to be fun 12-hour flight, anyway.

The crisps seem to do the trick.

A bit of chunder come out, then be all right.

-You'll be all right, boy. Get up and walk it off.

-Yeah.

And after that little hiccup, Beam clears Lewis and Grant for takeoff.

He is ill, but he is quite healthy,

so he is fit to fly.

As Lewis and Grant jet home,

Army vet John's back at the British Embassy

hoping for his emergency passport.

And, today, he's in a more positive frame of mind.

Yeah. I feel good today. I feel more optimistic and happier.

I was a bit down in the dumps yesterday.

I now need to get an emergency passport,

and, then, a flight out of here, hopefully.

Number 35.

Looks like I've got quite a long wait.

I'm going to sit down and read my book for a bit.

It's OK.

The British Embassy in Bangkok deals with around 9,000 customers a year,

so a good book's not a bad idea.

Sitting reading my book, Shantaram.

It's about a guy on the run in India with no visa.

And no passport.

Starting to sound familiar.

Could be... Could be me writing a book like this

in the next few months.

John's case is more complicated than most.

This isn't his first emergency passport and his visa's lapsed.

The embassy say they'll help, but it'll take time.

He just told me what the score was, says he has to wait five days.

So I'm in bit of trouble at the minute,

but I've been through worse.

But if he's going to stay in Bangkok,

John's going to need money.

So who are you going to call?

Hello, Mum.

Er, still in Thailand.

Have you got £400 I could borrow till Wednesday?

While John faces five more days in Bangkok,

Officer Baitong and the tourist police have been called

to the airport concourse to deal with another traveller in distress.

After two weeks travelling round Thailand, Atul has been found

wandering the airport perimeter half-naked and with no belongings.

Hello. Can I help you?

What problem?

Do we have some problems?

-Yeah.

-We are tourist police. We will help you.

OK. I came here on the...

Atul starts telling an incredible story.

He says he's been hiding near the airport all night

in fear of his life.

Baitong takes him back to tourist police HQ to find out more.

I want to get back to India as soon as possible, before I lose myself.

I've lost everything else, apart from me.

I've been running from the men.

-I was being chased.

-Who was chasing you?

Hoh-ha! How do I know?

Thai person?

Yeah, a Thai person.

How many persons?

Er, 10, 15?

OK. We were looking for your T-shirt for the cold.

Yeah. Just one short and one T-shirt.

Take a shower first and then I will call the embassy.

And contact your family.

The police try to cheer him up by giving him

one of their official T-shirts.

SHE LAUGHS

We have some T-shirts, but we don't have the...

-No, that's OK.

-OK?

When Atul doesn't laugh,

Baitong realises something's seriously wrong.

I think he has something wrong with himself.

But...

we don't know.

He didn't tell us.

I think he has some illness.

And he looked hungry.

The police get him a sandwich,

but he still seems anxious and distressed.

The first time in my life I got the scare.

That scared. Never had it.

I never had it.

You have to buy a new ticket

or make a new passport. All right?

-HE MURMURS

-You need to tell the Indian embassy.

Atul speaks to his embassy, but it's Friday night -

they're about to close for the weekend.

-What did they say?

-Hm?

-What did they say?

They say Monday you come and we'll get you moved.

-Pardon?

-Monday you come.

-Monday?

With nowhere to go and no money, Atul will have to spend

the next two days at the airport alone and Baitong's worried.

'I think, when you go to another country...'

I know that feeling.

When you don't have family, you don't have friends,

you don't know how to talk with another one.

You don't have money to pay for food.

You cannot fly.

I think this feeling is not good,

so it does mean I have to help him.

Down at the medical centre,

Ellen is hoping for the all-clear to fly home to Sweden.

On my calf, I have erm...

-like, wounds from the fangs, from the dog...

-Mm.

..which are quite deep and those are open,

-so they have drainage in them.

-OK. Good.

-Follow me, please.

-Yeah.

Ellen had been in Thailand just three days before disaster struck.

I got bitten by a dog while walking.

Unprovoked, actually. I didn't do anything to the dog.

I was walking by the beach and, suddenly,

I felt something around my leg.

So, I didn't even really see the dog before it had happened.

So, we immediately went into the medical centre.

They saw it had gotten infected, so I was hospitalised for five days

and they had to do a small surgery on the front of my leg.

With more than 100,000 stray dogs on the streets of Bangkok alone,

it's a growing problem for the medical team led by Dr Art.

Sawasdee kap.

We do hear of a lot of patients with a dog bite, or monkey bite.

Also, because the passengers always like

to go to play with them... Yeah. Then, they just...yeah.

Ellen acted quickly, but that didn't stop the wound getting infected.

She's got the selfies to prove it.

SHE LAUGHS Don't pass out.

This one got over 100 likes.

When you have holes in your leg, I guess it gets reactions.

With Ellen's flight leaving in the next 24 hours,

she needs a fit to fly certificate before she boards the plane.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-I'm Dr Chainikom.

-Hi.

-Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

-So, you got a dog bite?

-A dog bite. Yes.

-It's a big one?

-Yeah, a big one. Nasty dog.

He hadn't brushed his teeth, cos they were dirty, so I got infected.

-I haven't really looked, myself...

-No, no, no, no.

-..cos I don't want to see it.

-It's really good.

-It's really good?

-On this side.

-Oh, great.

-It's really good that side.

-Yep.

For Dr Art, it's a clean-up job.

The hard work's been done, luckily for Ellen.

The wound looks quite deep.

That's why we have to protect the drain gauze

inside the wound to release the pus.

The dangers of this is that, if she didn't get a good treatment,

she may lose her leg, later on, due to infection.

I do like my leg.

SHE LAUGHS

So the wound's re-dressed and Dr Art's happy to let Ellen fly

after a holiday she won't forget.

The plan was to go scuba diving.

SHE LAUGHS That didn't happen.

Sometimes things don't go as planned.

-You're finished.

-OK. Thank you so much.

But the experience hasn't put Ellen off Thailand. Just dogs.

I'm actually kind of more of a cat person.

Especially now, I would say.

Atul spent the night sleeping rough at the airport,

but now he's been brought back in

after police found him in an agitated state.

No deserve, no deserve, no deserve.

No. You smoking? You OK?

-No, I don't smoke.

-OK, good.

Baitong's worried about his mental health.

'Yesterday he is not like this.'

He looked like a normal person yesterday, but not like today.

Hello. Hi.

Hi, my name is May.

As concern grows, the police bring in Nurse May

from the medical centre.

So, the police call us,

because we just want to make sure you're all right, so...

do you mind if I just sit and talk, OK?

She quickly realises Atul needs help.

Erm, so there is no place for you to stay here,

so, like you say, there's a lot of tourists here. A lot of passengers.

You need a bed. You need to get some rest. OK?

We want you to just...to see a doctor in the hospital.

OK?

There's going to be someone taking care of you there.

OK?

Can you stop for the minute?

But Atul declines treatment and decides to leave.

THEY ALL TALK Where are you going, sir?

-No, no, no. Stay in here.

-No, no no, no. I'm talking to him.

These people are stopping me. These people are stopping me.

Give them time. Give them time. OK.

HE SPEAKS IN HINDI

Let me go, otherwise all of you get shot.

As he becomes more excitable, Nurse May makes a decision.

HE SHOUTS IN HINDI

She orders him to be sedated.

HE SHOUTS IN HINDI

THEY ALL TALK

You don't play a fair game.

Listen. Can you just...have a seat? We'll not harm you.

I've talked to the general,

I've informed them the moment my voice stops...

they can assume I'm dead.

-No, no, no, no. You just...

-Yeah, we don't go...

-Let's figure out a plan.

I'm going to live and you're going to live to 100.

Five minutes later, Atul is showing no signs of calming down.

Normally, one shot is working, but for him,

one shot did not react well, so we have to do the second shot.

IN THAI:

The family want us to send him to the hospital

and get some treatment.

And he'll be stable enough to fly home.

Finally, the ambulance takes Atul downtown,

where he can be properly cared for at a specialist hospital.

After their holiday of a lifetime,

the boys from Kent are heading back home.

Here we go. PG 902.

They made it around the islands, with just the odd wrong turn.

-We went to the wrong airport at one point on this holiday.

-Yeah.

Next time we come travelling, we're going to take our parents,

so we actually know where we're going, what we're doing.

They can just sit in the corner, while we just have some fun.

THEY LAUGH

That's what I mean. You don't actually feel clean, though.

Cool ones, like me. THEY TALK

After various upsets, the guys have kind of given up on Thai food.

We stuck to, like, the old pizzas and burgers and stuff.

We've been so Western, it's unreal.

Not even the Western food agreed with me out here.

I've just had a bad stomach the whole time.

Brad didn't pull, but he won't be going home empty-handed.

I bought a really cool, like, antique.

-THEY LAUGH

-Oh, my God. Yeah.

Looks like something from Jumanji.

This must be 150 quid.

It's got, like, a tattoo kit in it.

Like the old, traditional tattoo kit and I was like,

"That looks pretty expensive", so I thought I'm going to buy that.

And we went back the next day and she had another one sitting there.

-THEY LAUGH

-She said this was really rare.

And he's got the tattoo to go with the kit. Just like Dane's.

-Then SOMEONE copied me!

-I got it done...

But we've got it in different places.

We always said we were going to get matching tattoos.

One of the lines means that you become

more attractive to the opposite sex.

That intrigued me.

-HE LAUGHS

-That's the main reason I got it.

While Brad dreams on, the boys head for the gate

after one last Thai meal.

LAUGHTER

-Yeah. It was horrible.

-What you on about?

-That triple burger?

-Chicken? The chicken stuff?

In Bangkok, John's not had a square meal in three days,

but, today, he's one step closer to finding a way out.

Got a phone call from my mum now.

She's been worried for the last couple of days.

Erm, she's lent me the money to get a flight home.

So that's part of my mission.

So I'm on my way now to get to the Western Union to get some money.

I'm down to my last 20 baht.

God bless mothers, eh?

A quick trip to pick up the cash and his immediate troubles are over.

Yeah. I've got 36,000 baht, which is enough for my flight,

but now I've got to wait whether I can get a passport or not. So...

I've got enough to live and survive.

John's now got the money to stay in Bangkok till he's issued

with the paperwork that will finally bring him back to England.

And, after three days in hospital,

Atul, too, is on his way home.

A family friend has come to take him back to India.

I've been through...

such extreme behaviours.

It's absolutely apparent I've gone insane.

Everybody following me, everybody trying to kill me.

The battlefield being the airport.

At the hospital, I came to my senses.

And, from then on, I regained my consciousness

and, now, my focus is clear in life.

What to do, what not to do.

Thank you.

So, it's "sawasdee", as they say, to Bangkok Airport.

However big the hangover,

wherever you put your passport...

HE LAUGHS Yeah!

..it's good to know you can usually find your way out.

'Get the roast dinner on,'

quickly!

Don't forget the Yorkshire puddings and all the trimmings, all right?

Next time at Bangkok Airport, there's trouble in paradise...

No! Oh, my God.

Look at all the cancelled flights! What's going on?

As protesters take to the streets, the tourists run for cover.

I walked out the hotel room and there's shooting going on.

The English Thai boxing team go into battle.

As soon as that bell rings, he's got three rounds to just go for it.

-CROWD SHOUTS

-Let's go! Let's go!

Keep going! Go on! Go on!

And the tourist police have a fight on their hands...

This is the first time somebody tried to kill an officer.

..when we check in again at Bangkok Airport.