Myanmar Dara & Ed's Road to Mandalay

'Southeast Asia.

'Where ancient religions jostle for space with superhighways.

'One of the most rapidly changing places on earth.

That was genuinely amazing.

'My fellow comedian Ed Byrne and I...'

I don't understand anything that the board says.

'..are on an epic adventure...'

Difficult to get the rhythm right.

'..to three of the most vibrant countries in the region.'

This is an astonishingly beautiful sunset.

'From the economic powerhouse of Malaysia,

'the holiday paradise of Thailand, to Myanmar,

'a fledgling democracy unlocking its doors to the world.

-There's a lot of people.

-There are lots of people here.

'It's a journey that takes us over 3,000 miles

'from Kuala Lumpur across the Malaysian peninsular

'to the historic city of Mandalay.'

-This is a taste of real Malaysia now.

-Ladies.

That's a nice feeling, isn't it?

This could prove to be a very long night.

'We want to explore how Thailand is sinking under the worst excesses of tourism.'

To me, Phuket is now like the Titanic.

We're moving to the huge iceberg ahead.

'Meet the indigenous tribes of Malaysia struggling to survive.'

They're really shy of new people.

We're going to be just as shy.

'And discover how Myanmar is grappling with its new-found freedom.'

The perception was that I was watched

and I could be thrown into jail at any minute.

'We want to understand how the clash between East and West,

'the traditional and the modern,

'is transforming these countries forever.'

It does seem odd. It felt like I'd stepped into a time machine.

Do you know what this trip needs?

A giant golden Buddha.

Would there be one of them nearby, by any chance?

'We've now reached Yangon in Myanmar.

'The former capital is still the largest

'and most populated city in Myanmar, with over five million residents.

'We're eager to explore, once we've learned the basic from our guides.'

What was hello again?

-Mingalaba.

-Oh, mingalaba!

-Mingalaba.

-Mingalaba.

-Mingalaba.

-Mingalaba.

-Mingalaba.

-What's thank you?

-Thank you is...

-Kyayzuba.

-Kyayzuba.

-Kyayzuba.

'Myanmar was known as Burma until the military junta changed its name in 1989.

'Until recently, it was shut off from the world.

'Ruled by the infamous generals who, for 50 years,

'ran a brutal regime of house arrests,

'censorship and imprisonment.

And we're likely to get killed at any moment.

'In 2015, after a long campaign for democracy led by Aung San Suu Kyi,

'the first civilian government was elected.'

The only thing I come here with is the excitement of seeing somewhere

which is at a really interesting stage of its development.

I mean, it's one of those journeys which is like a holiday in living history,

so you get to see where the news stories occurred,

and also we are a number of months past their first ever democratic elections.

This is very much a country which is undergoing enormous change.

At the same time we know that we're in the middle of one of those timelines

that will be written about in history books.

'I have my own more personal reasons for being here.

From the mid-'90s, I got quite involved doing stuff for Amnesty International

at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Then we started campaigning particularly for these guys in Burma,

these comedians, U Lu Zaw and Par Par Lay, The Moustache Brothers,

who got arrested for doing anti-government satire.

And that's when I really started to take an interest.

I would MC the gigs every year,

and even when I wasn't going to Edinburgh to do a gig,

I'd go specifically to do the Amnesty gig.

'I'd love to find out what The Moustache Brothers are up to now,

'and I've heard they're in Mandalay.

I'm also looking forward to being able to hit the ground running

as regards to seeing the real Myanmar.

-Are they cockroaches?

-No, they're grasshoppers. Yeah.

-Oh, there's flies on them!

-I know, it's weird that you should care

that there are flies buzzing around the grasshoppers.

'It's a fascinating time to be here.

'Not only because of the recent elections,

'but we've arrived in the middle of a Buddhist Light Festival.

'This marks the end of Buddhist Lent,

'and it's hugely important in Myanmar

'to remember when Lord Buddha returned to earth

'to teach the people about enlightenment.'

-That's a lot of people.

-There are lots of people here.

'The Shwedagon Pagoda,

'Myanmar's greatest temple, glows with thousands of candle offerings.'

I can't help thinking of the Glastonbury Festival.

-Just people just walking.

-Yeah, yeah. Towards the Pyramid Stage.

It's a hell of a sight, though, you know.

'Next morning,

'we're heading to an iconic political landmark in this emerging democracy.

'This is the place where Aung San Suu Kyi,

'the country's leading pro-democracy activist,

'was once imprisoned.'

It's an interesting notion to go on a tourist trip

-of modern political history.

-Yes.

-It just seems a little weird.

-Oh, there we go! That's it.

There, right there.

So those are the gates to the house that Aung San Suu Kyi

was in under house arrest. OK, let's go and have a look.

Don't get killed!

Jesus.

'Aung San Suu Kyi spoke out against the regime

'and was placed under house arrest for 15 years.

'She continued her non-violent campaign from behind these gates.'

There's her dad, who liberated Burma from the British in 1948.

There is something about seeing an artefact,

something that you've seen in the news for years and years and years.

However, they never had, "This is John Simpson for the BBC.

"Jesus, six lanes of traffic!"

I would imagine there were plenty of times when ordinary people with vans

trying to do deliveries are going, "Bloody democracy.

"Bloody freedom."

People are always holding up Abbey Road, walking across.

-They're the worst. They're the worst.

-Walking over the pedestrian crossing.

People trying to recreate Aung San Suu Kyi's famous walk to freedom.

'Myanmar recently held its first free general election.

'Aung San Suu Kyi's NLD party won a landslide victory,

'ushering in a new era of democratic government.

'A few of the 23 million people who voted have agreed to meet us

'to discuss what's changed

'and the novelty of talking politics in public.'

The perception then was that I was watched.

Anything I said could be heard

and I could be thrown into jail at any minute.

I was basically very uninformed and ignorant about things.

And this was not an accident,

this was the design of the ruling regime,

that the population should know nothing.

-Yeah.

-In the past, I was like so isolated.

I didn't know anything about the world and also didn't care

because I didn't know.

But then in 2009,

I got out of the country then went to Thailand to study

and then it opened up my mind.

And the problem is now we're sort of another extreme of openness.

For example, social media.

Nowadays we have more noises than voices.

Are people now realising that change is actually going to take a long time

and that politics moves very slowly?

People have high expectations.

People thought that everything would change with the new government,

new regime, but not yet.

It is the problem. The government is still not walking the dog.

Welcome to democracy.

Get used to more disappointment.

Get used to a feeling of impotence that will continue.

That is the way democracy just tends to let you down a lot, so...

But that is the joy of it.

LAUGHTER

'It's still just 190 days since Myanmar's new administration took over,

'but already the young people of Yangon

'are finding creative ways to express what change means to them.

'And I've come to see some permanent evidence.'

Oh, that is incredible. That is beautiful.

So this is a portrait of Aung San Suu Kyi over the map of Myanmar.

Why? Why have you gone for this tattoo?

So they're heroes of yours?

Because, I presume, a few years ago you couldn't do this, could you?

And what are the words that you've written on the tattoo?

And is that how people in Myanmar are now?

I mean, that is lovely. You're doing great work.

But I'm just thinking, you have an area here.

Do you know Arsenal Football Club? They play in London.

Yeah, well, just a big logo there for my football team.

-Yeah.

-Can you put that on there? Is that all right?

No. Because this team is not...

-Your team?

-I don't like this team.

My team is Manchester United.

Don't do that. Don't get a tattoo of Manchester United.

I think it's lovely with that.

-It works better without it.

-Yes.

HE WHISPERS: Do it anyway. Do a big Arsenal.

Tell him you're doing Man United and do a big Arsenal.

He'll never know, he'll never know.

'And now Dara is in with the cool kids, we've been invited to

'a local tea shop where all the serious tattoo junkies hang out.'

-How are you? How are you?

-I'm Ed. Dara.

-How are you?

-Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you. How are you?

We are not mucking around with the ink at this table.

Yeah. You've got...

So that is General Aung San.

Oh, look at that. That's fantastic.

-How long did that take?

-That is beautiful.

Five hours.

-Five hours?

-Yes.

Hero of Burma.

-This guy. That's the General...

-As a much younger man.

Do you have to be careful not to work out too hard

or the faces will get stretched?

That's a good excuse not to exercise.

And where...?

-He's got it here.

-Oh, lovely!

-That's really good...

I like that. That's very beautiful, yeah.

There's only a handful of political figures

that people would have that level of iconography over.

Your Che Guevara, Gandhi, Mandela, I suppose.

I don't know, maybe would British people have Churchill tattooed on them?

I can't imagine. He's the only person, of all the British leaders,

Jeremy Corbyn maybe.

I think we may well see Corbyn tattoos before the year is out.

Hello, here is my friend. How are you?

Let's see. Show them all.

-This is good.

-It's a floor show.

-Yeah.

Look at that.

'When the regime was in charge, for 50 years they controlled the media,

'they controlled the amount of information that was coming in,

'there was no right to free assembly,'

people used to meet in tearooms exactly like that

to quietly discuss what was happening

and to hand out illegally printed pamphlets,

to essentially ferment some rebellion to the regime.

But now, you can sit in there with a tattoo of Aung San Suu Kyi

and you can celebrate.

-That has earned you a seat at this table at which we do not belong.

-No.

Hey, put your shirt back on, you're a bit ripped.

'Myanmar remains one of the poorest countries in the world,

'having been closed off for more than 50 years.

'Life in Yangon is still pretty unchanged,

'with most people earning around 3 a day.

'Nevertheless, the people here seem unfazed by a couple of Irish men

'walking through their city.'

-Hello. How are you?

-Hello. Where you come from?

Ireland, originally.

-Via England.

-The UK.

-Ah.

-Yeah.

-It's beautiful.

-It's very lovely.

-Lovely.

-Oh, we do a Paris dance, looking out at the world?

-Of course.

'It's been an amazing day tapping into life in Yangon,

'so now we're heading to the pub, or beer station as they call it.'

Now, that's what I call service.

-Hello. Hello.

-How are you doing? You all right?

-Where are you from?

From Ireland, originally.

We live in England.

-In London.

-Do you know Cliff Richard?

-Pardon me?

-Cliff Richard?

Do we know Cliff Richard? Yes!

We're familiar with his work.

I don't claim to be friends...

-I didn't claim to be friends...

-Are you a big fan of Cliff Richard?

-Yes.

-Really?

-Do you know The Young Ones?

We were more fans of the sitcom than the Cliff Richard song.

1968, Cliff Richard, The Young Ones show at the cinema.

So I like him.

You saw Young Ones here?

It was on in the cinema here? Was it a big hit?

The movie, movie.

Two movies came here. Summer Holiday and The Young Ones.

And you saw that and you said, "That's it."

# Got myself a crying, talking, sleeping, walking

# Living doll

# Got to do my best to please her, just cos she's a living doll

# Got a roving eye

# And that is why she satisfies my soul

-# 'Fies my soul... #

-Where's my soul?

# Got the one and only walking talking

# Living doll. #

-Yeah, that's it.

-What's your name?

-Robert O'Hara.

-Robert O'Hara.

Yeah, my father from the UK.

-Really?

-Yeah, he came in second war.

British Army.

-Your father was stationed here in the Second World War?

-Yeah.

Robert. Ed.

-Dara.

-Lovely to meet you, Robert O'Hara.

-I've got to admit, you don't look like a Robert O'Hara.

-You don't.

-Do you know Summer Holiday?

-Yes!

-Beautiful film.

-We'll sing together.

-We'll sing together, my friend.

-OK.

# We're all going on a summer holiday

# No more working for a week or two

# Fun and laughter on our summer holiday

# No more worries for me or you

# For me and you

ORIGINAL SONG PLAYS: # We're going where the sun shines brightly

# We're going where the sea is blue

# We've seen it on the movies

# Now let's see if it's true

# So we're going on a summer holiday

# To make our dreams come true. #

'It's time to leave Yangon

'and continue our journey towards Mandalay.

'Railways were introduced here in 1877 by the British

'and we're told they haven't changed much since then.

'We'll be heading into the rural heartland of the country.

'Providing we can find the right platform.'

I don't understand anything that the board says.

There are ticks.

Everything seems to be OK.

-Yeah.

-Everything is on time.

-There's no Xs or skull and crossbones, it is all...

-Yes.

English script.

Right. Tick.

Here, here, here.

We're in carriage two and that's J.

Oh, good, OK.

That one is carriage backwards C.

Yeah, I think we may have a problem here.

OK. OK, cool, thank you.

Oh, it's the other carriage J.

It's nice that we get to sit together anyway.

It's good. Well, you know, it's a nine-hour train journey, Ed.

Are you going to kick the back of my seat for nine hours?

Repeatedly.

This is going to be great.

For about half an hour.

Farewell, then, Yangon. Farewell. You'll always be in our hearts.

I liked Yangon a lot, but I think I mainly liked the Yangonese,

the Yangonians.

The people of Yangon. I'm a Yang-aholic.

'From Yangon we'll travel through the countryside north towards Inle Lake,

'stopping in at a Pa'O village on the way to the ancient city of Bagan

'before we hit the historic road to Mandalay.'

People just on the tracks.

People just wandering across the tracks.

Well, trains are one an hour,

I'd imagine there's enough time for them to...

Still just looks weird, doesn't it?

..to formulate a plan to get out of the way.

"Oh, there'll be a train in ten minutes. Maybe we should move."

'We're so used to very rigid rules back home where the train doors shut

'60 seconds before the train even starts moving.

'Nobody can be on the platform when it is moving,

'whereas this, the train starts

'and you can jump on it or jump off it

'and you get these guys selling stuff

'and walking through the carriages with it

'or selling beer out of coolers.'

I'm expecting someone to bring livestock through at some stage.

-It's a great alternative to a buffet car or even a trolley service.

-Yeah.

'It's important when you're in somewhere like Yangon to talk about Aung San Suu Kyi,

'it's important to talk to people with first flowerings of freedom.

'When you move obviously into a more agricultural society,

'day-to-day, that won't have affected their lives as much.'

It's utterly charming. Stunning, stunning,

beautiful tropical landscape just spooling past you at a sedate rate.

'After nine hours, we've only covered just over 220 miles,

'and we've reached the final stop on the line.'

Come on, let's hop off.

'To go any further we'll have to continue over the mountains by road.'

'We're heading east into the remote rural areas

'where 70% of the country live.

'There are 135 tribes in Myanmar, each governed in their own way.

'Most people here have had little contact with Westerners

'and still live very traditional lives.

'We're coming into the Kayan village of Panpet.

'One of the smallest tribes in the country,

'the Kayan here take advice on crops,

'health and relationships from their famous local fortune-teller

'and his chickens.

'We've got an appointment with Grandpa Yu,

'who comes from a long line of soothsayers.'

Dara. Ed.

-Sandra.

-Sandra.

-Sandra, how are you?

'Our translator explains how a dead chicken will give us a look into our own future.'

First, you have to ask the question like health, love,

business or something like that.

-Yes.

-And he will kill the chicken.

-I'm sorry, what?

-Kill.

-He'll kill the chicken.

-He kills the chicken.

That's a detail that is, I think, important to know here.

-Right.

-Are we going to eat it, then?

-Yes.

-OK.

-It's not just dying for a couple of yes or no questions.

After killing the chicken,

he looks at the fortune and he tells yes or no

-and it will be or it is possible.

-Fine.

Right, well, let's bring out the chickens.

-Here we go.

-Here we go. This is our oracle.

This is what I want to ask. Ed and I have done two long journeys.

-Will we make another...

-Another?

-..long journey?

-Yeah. OK.

SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

'On the one hand, an animal is about to die,'

so you don't just want to make like a cheap joke.

But on the other hand, you also don't want to ask a genuine question

about you or your loved ones or your family or the actual future,

so you've got to pick something which is a little silly,

but also has, I was going to say, has some meat on the bones,

but that's a bad phrase to use.

That's the bad bit.

-OK, so the chicken is now dead.

-Dead.

'We all do this.'

Like, there's a version of this everywhere whether you're rolling dice

or whether you're opening the back of the paper and going,

"When I was born under the sign of Pisces..."

So, yeah, a long journey ahead...

And this one comes at lunch.

It's important, by the way, to stress that the chickens were going to be used for food anyway.

The chickens were going to die anyway.

-Have you butchered a bird, Ed?

-I've done a squirrel.

I've made a squirrel stew.

Were you trapped in the wilderness trying to survive?

No, there was a squirrel on me bird feeder and I shot it with an air rifle

and then I skinned it and then ate it. That is a true story.

That's the most horrible thing I've ever heard.

-Did you not know that about me?

-I did not know you did that.

After removing the thigh bone,

Grandpa Yu inserts sticks to read the bones,

a bit like reading tea leaves.

HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

He doesn't know exactly where, but you have to go another journey.

There will be a third journey?

Wow, I frankly think that's up for debate.

-Take me to there.

-Yeah!

-You want to come too, do you?

-Yeah.

We've been to some great places in the world.

We've seen some fantastic things.

That's an interesting answer, that.

Are we going again, do you think?

Well, it was a difficult conversation I had to have.

The BBC are very happy with the work you've done,

but there's a whole new generation of younger comics coming through

and it just, you know, might be their time,

might be their time. I sort of wanted to see that in the chicken,

but I didn't. It calls into question

the whole veracity of the chicken thing, really.

It better taste nice at least.

It does seem odd.

It felt like I'd stepped into a time machine,

to come back to this era,

and then ask a fortune-teller to tell me the future.

I enjoy the sensation of feeling like I'm going back in time.

If you think about it too much it can depress you ever so slightly

because you start thinking about the reasons why certain parts of

the country are preserved in aspic.

In a way it's because the country has been held back from development

because there's been a desire to keep the rest of the world out.

'Consulting chicken bones is part of Grandpa Yu's Kan Khwan religion,

'which the Kayan people have practised

'since they migrated from Mongolia in the Bronze Age.'

Traditional awkward sitting position.

-Oh, there's our friend, the chicken.

-The chicken of knowledge.

-Yes.

What else could the chicken have told us if we'd simply let it live?

This feels like the kind of lifestyle that has been ongoing for centuries

and remains relatively unchanged.

'The people of Panpet and the surrounding villages live a communal life,

'still sharing responsibilities for farm work and family.'

You hope it doesn't reduce down to them shrugging as another busload of

tourists arrive in with chickens in their hands

waiting for the chickens to be slaughtered. But then again,

am I just doing what every backpacker does where you go, "It's all changed."

We saw it back in '16 when it was very new.

It's not the real Myanmar any more.

We were the ones who ruined Myanmar.

That's how history will recall

because I made you all want to come here.

'An hour's drive northwest of Panpet is Inle Lake,

'the next port of call on our journey to Mandalay.'

'The fishermen here have used this delicate leg-rowing technique

'for over 900 years.

'It leaves their hands free to set and check their nets.

'There are still hundreds of families making their living like this today.'

You look like a man on his holiday.

I look like a man on an adventure.

I can't even see you you're wearing so much camouflage.

Just a floating head.

'We're now taking to the water to explore the lake,

'which is the second largest in the country

'and sits 3,000 feet above sea level in the Shan Hills.'

Just the places that people live always wrecks my head.

Just that people will create towns high up Everest

or on the edge of a cliff, or there.

It's insane.

'Some 70,000 people, called the Intha, live along these shores

'and even on the lake itself,

'mostly living off fishing and floating gardens.

'But the fishermen leg rowers of Inle have another passion -

'boat racing between rival villages.

'And today, we have the honour of being among the first Westerners

'to be invited to take part in one of these fierce rowing competitions.'

"Did you find parking all right?"

"Oh, it was grand."

'But as we're not natural oarsmen,

'one of the lead rowers has offered to give us a lesson

'with only four hours to go to the race.'

Sorry, children. Hope you don't mind.

'Kalari comes from generations of leg rowers.'

Can you ask Kalari how difficult is it to learn?

THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

He said, a bit difficult.

Is it easier if you're a very big person

or if you're a skinny, smaller person?

THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

The fat person, also they can learn, but it takes more time.

When you stand on the canoe, it's more difficult to balance.

I never said the word fat.

I never brought up the word fat.

He's definitely repeatedly said fat.

I think the man meant tall or just generally...

-Of great stature.

-Yes, exactly.

'Whatever size you are, mastering leg rowing looks far from simple.'

-OK, that's...

-Hardly a doddle.

-Yeah.

There's a lot going on.

-Yes, he is twisting that oar.

-The blade goes like that

and then goes forward like that and has turned back like that.

-Otherwise...

-Trying to do the robot.

-Yeah. That will be easier to do now.

'My time has come and, close up, the boat looks even more flimsy.'

Oh, Jesus!

OK.

That's not a confident noise you're making.

Look at that.

Yeah, there you go. See, that's how it's done.

-Oh, show me the little girl doing it.

-There you go.

'If small children can do it, surely I can.'

Go on. Go for a standing on one leg.

No!

-You're not helping.

-There we go.

Look at that. That was a stroke, that was technically a stroke.

If you can get the forward bit now.

Jesus.

'But after a couple of attempts, I use a more familiar method

'to get back to dry land.'

This has worked for thousands of years.

What is wrong with you people that you don't want to do that?

-Right.

-That...

-You know.

-It's the most exhausting thing.

-You stayed dry.

-I am.

-I'm impressed.

The most important thing to remember is it's not as easy as I made it look.

No, well, you were very graceful, it has to be said.

-Will you take these for me, please?

-Of course.

Now where is this boat?

There you go. There you don't go.

Now! Take some time to find your bearings. I took about an hour.

'It's looking like I'm more the natural leg rower than Dara.'

Mum, I'm doing it, I'm doing it!

Are you feeling you're getting any power into it?

Not especially.

Oh!

-That had an air of the inevitable about it, didn't it?

-It did.

'After that display,

'I don't think the leg rowers will be fighting to have us on their team.'

-I think we're ready for a race now.

-Oh, I am competition ready.

'And with the race due to start,

'it's time to head to the middle of the lake.

'For 100 years, leg rowing teams from the villages have raced for

'the honour of being the fastest on the water.

'Races start from Government House,

'a wooden building on stilts in the middle of the lake.'

'What we hadn't been told is that leg rowing races

'are like something out of Ben Hur.'

CHEERING AND DRUMMING

DARA LAUGHS

We're doing that next.

Oh, we're not ready for that.

No. We're going to be disappointing some of our team-mates.

'It's time for the teams to find out who their new star player is.'

And then falling into the water.

Falling into the water.

You take the first one, I'll take the second one.

-Good luck, by the way. Good luck.

-And to you. May the best men win.

CHEERING

Come on, the boys in green. Come on, you boys in green.

Come on, you boys.

'This is our chance to write ourselves into the leg rowing history books.'

Are we going? Is that going? OK, come on!

Come on! Come on, the greens.

'There are 60 people on each team.'

That's too many for a team.

It's so huge a team that when the race started,

the back of the boat didn't know it had happened

until word got passed along from the top of the boat.

That seems slightly unwieldy as a sport.

It's difficult to get the rhythm right.

'Our technique lacks finesse, but nobody seems to have noticed.'

'We're definitely running before we can walk with this whole leg rowing business.

'There was a point where I realised the best thing I could do for

'my team would be to take my paddle out of the water'

and not put it back in for again the rest of the race.

Screw this. Screw the leg part of this.

Come on, the green team.

We're going to do it. Come on the greens.

'Heading for the line, it's neck and neck.'

Yes!

We were the winners.

'Eventually my superior technique made all the difference.'

Eat our boat.

This is what a traditional Myanmar boat man looks like.

There's a lot going on here.

An entire community built around being on the water.

Everything being about the water.

I mean, I'd like to see what they're like on land.

I mean, they're probably like manatees -

sleek and graceful in the water, and on land they're blobbing about.

I'm sure they'd all be knocking head on terra firma.

Yeah, this is their whole life.

They're just brought up in this aquatic environment,

just this weird amphibious people.

Even amidst all the buzz and noise of all the people who live on this lake,

the thing I think I would miss more, and will miss when we leave,

is the sheer size of the sky. It's huge.

You can see full panoply above you.

In fact, this storm that I'm currently sitting in,

I've been watching that approach for about 40 minutes now,

and now it's finally here.

I think I'm going to get out of the road.

'Before we head north on the final leg of our journey,

'there's one more local event we've heard is not to be missed.

'The Pa'O tribe are farmers, specialising in corn and leaf crops.

'It looks like not much has changed round here for the past few centuries,

'except this tribe are now more famous for making massive rockets.'

This, I've been looking forward to.

-The Rocket Festival?

-The Rocket Festival.

Even the words Rocket Festival make my little nerdy heart leap with joy.

A sentence that has either of those words in it has some excitement.

Put the two together, though...

Who doesn't like the ballistics of it, you know?

Just the sheer equations of motion coupled with explosive power

-of gunpowder. It's going to be great.

-I'd say you're a barrel of laughs

to go to a fireworks display with.

'Traditionally, the rockets were fired at the clouds to encourage the rains,

'but making rockets has become so popular, the Pa'O now stage regular rocket festivals

'and have put this one on especially for us.'

This is the rocket maker.

You're the rocket man.

Yeah, rocket man, yeah.

And the making of rockets,

is that something that you've always done and who taught you how to do it?

THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

Actually, they got it from their father, their teacher.

-A family thing?

-Passed through the generation.

-Right, OK.

-So what are they made of? What's inside those rockets?

-Actually, inside is gunpowder.

-Gunpowder.

-Gunpowder and charcoal.

-Charcoal as well?

-Yeah, that's right.

This is not just some fun little hobby.

This is a big deal that brings in people from all over, doesn't it?

-Yes, that's right.

-So how many people are we expecting?

Probably I hope there will be over 400-500 people will come

-as part of this festival.

-400 or 500?

-Yes.

'Four entire villages have turned up simply to join in

'the spectacle of setting off their home-made rockets.

'Before blast-off, the villagers parade around the monastery

'to give thanks for the festival and to bless their rockets.'

'Before things kick off, we're checking out the spot where the sparks fly.'

-This will be the launch pad, then.

-I absolutely love it.

-Yeah.

A bamboo launch pad.

I have to say, as low-tech methods of keeping somebody from climbing

some steps go, just putting a dead branch in the way...

That's your, "This way's barred. Do not climb these steps."

And it's clearly respected.

It's the velvet rope of the Myanmar countryside.

I've been to one launch, one, let's say, proper launch in NASA,

and there are some things which are different

and some things which are the same. Bamboo, different.

-They don't use bamboo that much.

-Really?

-They don't.

They tried to, but it used to burn up when the shuttle went off.

Would you feel comfortable at the top of those steps?

I wouldn't feel comfortable if I knew there was a fuse going off behind me,

but other than that I think this is fantastic.

I wouldn't have kept that bit of tree there either, to be honest.

-That seems to be slightly....

-I'd give that a bit of a trim.

I think the rains are going to be excellent today.

'With all this gunpowder around,

'I don't know whether to feel excited or terrified.'

Here we go.

I'm not getting how this works.

They just seemed to wander down and...

There doesn't seem to be anything, like, any announcement or...

No, well, I'm not waiting for, "T minus ten, nine..."

I still want something like,

"And now the representatives of Pa'O village."

Rather than just some people wandering down with a bamboo rocket.

Oh, here we go.

We have ignition.

Only a matter of seconds till the main engine burn.

We have wispy smoke,

indicating both that the thing is lit

and that there's some small wind.

-Very good.

-A nice little spiral at the end there.

I like the little corkscrew they did.

-Clearly applauding is something only we're doing.

-Not a thing people do.

OK. Sorry, I thought it deserved it.

-Very sorry.

-They're all laughing at us.

They're smiling and laughing

and they're lovely, but we look like fools.

'But it looks like that was just the warm up...

'..as the big boys make their presence known.'

-Look at that.

-Oh, yes!

Stylin'. Rolling into the joint with a rocket on your shoulder.

-So this is our first big rocket.

-First proper big one, yeah.

And you can feel the atmosphere and the hype has gotten ramped right up.

So now things have become a little bit more serious.

-And a bit more exciting.

-Isn't it? Have a look at this.

Did we ask, "Do people ever get killed doing this?"

I did ask and he said no.

He said, "In 300 years no-one has ever been killed doing this."

There we go.

The fuse is lit on our first big rocket.

That was genuinely amazing.

-It's still going.

-That was fantastic.

That was very, very impressive.

This is a very proud village. They've nailed that one.

The first step, we were wondering why they didn't seem very excited by the earlier rockets,

but they're just fireworks.

That was a bit like wondering why people don't get excited about junior Wimbledon

because then the seniors came on - and that was a proper rocket.

That was the kind of thing you'd see at NASA.

Slowly, powerfully pushing its way up against gravity

and it kept going. That's brilliant.

That's why they laughed at us when we clapped the small rockets.

-Yeah.

-Now I see. "You thought THAT was impressive?"

What is it again? What is it? This?

'I've not seen Dara so happy since the last Star Wars film came out.'

No laughing!

Why is that funny?

Stop doing another dance.

You're doing the wrong dance.

That's an unlucky rocket dance.

It's so nice to watch something where people are incredibly into it.

You know, the enthusiasm for something as...

And I think the weirder and sillier and quirkier the thing is,

the more endearing the enthusiasm for it is.

These people are just giving it their all.

This was fantastic.

This was villages in Myanmar building world-class rockets,

just because they've been doing it now for 300 years

and then firing them off into the sky just for their own amusement.

And this genuinely stunning piece of kinetic work,

where this thing just took off.

Boom. Gone. And you can feel the shake of it.

It was a glorious thing.

I mean, we all came expecting it to be some tiny village with a

Catherine Wheel and it was actually at a level that was world-class.

They're just firing them for the hell of it now.

'We're now just over 200 miles away from the city of Mandalay,

'our final destination.

'We're travelling northwest to the ancient city of Bagan.'

'For the last few miles, we're off-road, on scooters,

'to reach one of Bagan's famous temples.'

That was fun. I think at one point you got up to...

The same speed you did, smart guy. The same speed you did.

-I was waiting for you.

-You were not waiting for me.

'1,000 years ago, the kings of Bagan built over 4,000 of these

'amazing temples as a way of proving their dedication to Buddhism.'

'It's shoes off before climbing up to see

'one of Asia's most spectacular views.'

-Wow!

-That is incredible.

-Yeah.

'With half of them still standing,

'it's the largest concentration of Buddhist ruins in the world.'

-How breathtakingly beautiful is this?

-Yeah.

This is just too much food for the soul.

Go over there and knock on their door and tell them,

"We couldn't help notice, but some of that needs a bit of re-pointing."

Just any one of those temples would be a tourist attraction on its own

and there are hundreds of them.

I think there's more than 1,000, I think.

'Myanmar was cut off from the world for so long,

'it's an honour to be among the first Westerners to experience

'these breathtaking sights.'

I think this...

sums up Myanmar in that it looks like it would have looked.

I feel like we're really lucky to catch this place while it's still like this.

And yet, more people should see it, all right.

-Let's not be...

-Absolutely.

-But we saw it first.

-So we win.

We win. We are the winners.

We are the Bagan winners, my friend.

I think this would be a lovely palate cleanser

as you go from the genuine madness of rural Myanmar

into the historic city of Mandalay and towards the end of our journey.

What's been your favourite bit?

HE WHISPERS: Stop ruining it.

'After the awe-inspiring beauty of Bagan,

'this is now the last leg on our journey on

'the historic road to Mandalay.'

That's it, then. Almost.

I mean, only Mandalay to see.

This is the way to arrive in every city.

The road to London should be this.

Should be a massively wide waterway.

Everywhere you should be arriving by boat.

And I didn't realise that this is the road to Mandalay.

This river is the road to Mandalay.

A big wet road is what people meant by the road to Mandalay.

It's a wonder that they have any infrastructure at all

-if they think this is a road.

-I know, I know.

'Floating down the fabled waterway, I feel inspired to poetry.'

"By the old Moulmein Pagoda, lookin' eastwards to the sea,

"There's a Burma girl a-sitting, and I know she thinks o' me.

"For the wind is in the palm-trees and the temple-bells they say:

""Come you back, you British soldier; come you back to Mandalay."

"Come you back to Mandalay where the old Flotilla lay,

"Can't you 'ear their paddles chunkin' from Rangoon to Mandalay?

"On the road to Mandalay where the flyin'-fishes play,

"and the dawn comes up like thunder

-"outer China 'crost the Bay."

-Am I dreaming

or are you reading Rudyard Kipling to me aloud on a boat?

-Yeah, I am, on the road to Mandalay.

-OK, fine.

-Just lose yourself in it.

"'Er petticoat was yaller an' 'er little cap was green

"And her name was Supi-yaw-lat, jes' the same as Theebaw's Queen..."

'After 800 miles, we've reached the end of our road to Mandalay.'

'Although our first sight of this famous city are the golden pagodas

'of ancient Burma,

'Mandalay is now a sprawling industrial place

'on the brink of change.'

'But for me, getting here has always been about

'drawing a line under a time in my past,

'and before we leave I'm determined to fulfil a personal ambition

'to find The Moustache Brothers.'

Having been involved in some way in trying to publicise the plight of

people in Burma,

I'm hoping to connect with some of the people

that we were working for with Amnesty.

Par Par Lay and Lu Zaw were imprisoned in the '90s for

performing anti-government satire outsides Aung San Suu Kyi's gates.

Par Par Lay died of prostate cancer a few years ago,

but I'm hoping to catch up with the other Moustache Brothers,

so that would be quite cool.

I think that would be quite a thing.

'For the last 15 years, the surviving members of The Moustache Brothers

'have performed the same routine that ridiculed the dictatorship

'and helped bring international attention

'to Myanmar's struggle for freedom.'

I'm worried I'm not going to find them funny.

But I don't think that's really as important.

It's more important than going to see somebody that maybe was a huge influence on you as a comedian.

To go and see someone who actually got put in prison for something that we think nothing of doing.

It's going to be very interesting.

Moustache Brothers. This will be the...

This will be the place, all right.

-This feels like a bit of a pilgrimage.

-Yeah.

Hello. Please to meet you. My name is Lu Maw.

My brother, number one moustache.

I'm number two moustache. Par Par Lay, Lu Maw, brother.

Lu Zaw, cousin, brother. My father called me Lu.

My grandfather called me Lu.

Brother called me Lu.

Called me Lu, three generation.

We are chip off the old block.

Let's go in.

My teeth. My teeth gave me trouble. I had toothache.

I went outside Thailand, I see the dentist.

And he asked me, "Where do you come from?"

"I come from Burma." "You come from Burma?"

"Yes."

"Why do you come to Thailand, outside Burma?"

"Don't you have dentist in your country?"

"Yes, we have. But we're not allowed to open our mouths."

LAUGHTER

'Having witnessed a Myanmar on the edge of change,

'I'm going to finally meet a true comedy hero.'

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Pleased to meet you. I'm Lu Maw.

-Ed.

-And Dara. Lovely to meet you.

Me Lu Maw, moustache Lu Maw.

-Moustache Lu Maw.

-Comedian. Comedian.

-We're all comedians.

-Top banana, top banana.

-Top banana.

-Top banana.

And your father was a comedian and your grandfather was a comedian?

Fantastic. Great.

Proper old school.

-Were the regimes scared of comedy?

-Yeah.

Were they scared of being made a joke of?

-The first time was six months.

-Yeah.

-And yet he did it again.

-Yeah.

'At 65 years old, Lu Maw still performs his show every day out of

'the front of his house, acting like a watchdog on the future,

'on the country's dark past.'

So you still don't trust?

Yes. So you're still ready to watch

-and make jokes just in case this ever happens again?

-Yes.

But to be serious for a moment, if we could,

are you optimistic about the future of Myanmar?

So as long as Aung San Suu Kyi is alive?

Will the country be able to move on?

Will they be able to put the past into the past?

'Listening to Lu Maw is a reminder of how far Myanmar has come in

'the last few years

'and of the sacrifices made along the way.'

They were willing to go to jail three times to do this show

during a brutal and repressive regime so,

-frankly, that they're just doing it is enough.

-Fair play.

One, two, three.

SCREAMING

'Finishing here feels like a fitting end

'to our 3,000-mile journey

'through three very different but spectacular countries.'

In some ways it's exactly as I'd hoped it would be

in that it started off in a bustling metropolis

and it's gotten more and more strange.

Of course we learn from travel.

You feel like you're learning something about yourself

cos you're doing something different.

But actually, I don't think it makes any profound difference to you

when you return back to your normal schedule.

So the only lesson from that basically isn't don't travel,

because travelling is a joy,

but don't put this huge weight on journeys to create a new you.

Journeying is like reading a book or a particularly enjoyable box set

or maybe an enjoyable travel documentary that you're watching on television.

It was lovely for the time it occurred,

it owes you no more than that.

So if you have happy memories of how you felt on that trip,

that is sufficient.

Very good, well done. Thank you very much.

Malaysia was difficult to pin down

because it was a patchwork of different cultures.

Trunks up, who wants a sunflower seed?

Thailand was its own thing, but it still held back

and presented you this wonderfully polished tourism experience.

Do you know what I think this trip needs?

A giant golden Buddha.

Would there be one of them nearby, by any chance?

Then we arrived in Myanmar,

which is the one that we all fell in love with,

where it's new and novel

and people are genuinely excited to see you, and smiling.

And also you're seeing a country emerge into the light

after 50 years of repressive government.

They now have many visitors from abroad

and they're emerging into something and it is undiscovered.

The Myanmarese were the ones who smiled their way into our hearts the most.

Well, the sign says if you've not seen our dancing,

you cannot say you've been to Mandalay.

-And WE have been to Mandalay.

-We certainly have.

Do you know what I was particularly impressed by?

The moustache work.

That's Groucho Marx level of moustache work.

Do you think we should incorporate moustaches?

Do you know, I was just saying, no-one is doing it.

No-one is doing it where we're from.

I think moustaches are the way to go.