Episode 2 6Degrees

I suppose a girl like you

would never be seen dead with a guy like me?

-Never.

-I didn't think so

There's no way you brought your woman back last night.

She was odorous!

-So everyone's slagging me now, is that it?

-Ah, not at all.

-Och, man up, would ye?

I should...

What are you doing? I've got a boyfriend!

-This is the start of something for you.

-Jack don't....

It's for the best.

-You all right?

-Morning.

Conor, have you seen my laptop?

Sorry...

KNOCK ON DOOR

Leech?

Yeah?

-Can you open the door?

-What do you want?!

Have you seen my laptop?

-Uh, no.

-Are you sure?

Uh, yeah.

Oh, brilliant(!)

LOUD DANCE MUSIC

-Not again!

-It's just tedious now.

Two weeks' non-stop partying, shouldn't that kill you?

Forget the booze, if she keeps this up I'LL kill her!

Catch you later, yeah?

MUSIC STOPS

What are you doing?

You brought a bunch of strangers back here and one of them stole my laptop.

Either you get it back, or I'm calling security.

I'm calling security!

MUSIC: "Windowlicker" by Aphex Twin

Conor, huh?

You know, if you've got a hot mate we could do a double date.

SHE SCOFFS Don't think so...

I'm Chris. Chris Leech...

Close the door.

Yeah.

Hey, Jess!

Oh!

-Oh, you scared the crap out of me!

-Sorry.

-You all right?

-Yeah. I was going to say before...

I think you need a break from the books.

-A break that involves...?

-There's a thing on at the bar.

-A thing?

-A quiz.

So it's practically like studying, but with pints...

Who else is going?

I don't know yet... I can ask around.

Keep me posted, yeah.

-Is that a yes?!

-It's a maybe!

Thank you very much.

-Danny...

-Mum?

-What are you doing here?

-I brought you these for you.

-I can do my own shopping here.

-"Hello" would be nice.

Let's go get a coffee somewhere.

No. I came to see where you live.

-Mum, this isn't fair.

-What are you talking about?

-You coming here, drinking again.

-What did you just say?

Let's just go inside.

Yes, lad! You know that chick from last night?

Saw her this morning, right,

all she had on her was a pair of panties and your GAA top.

-She mentioned you were stalking her, you madman.

-Pff, stalking!

Hey, we should go out again soon - destroy some filthy skank down at the Boat House.

-I could be your wing-man.

-Yeah, definitely.

-You can show me some of your moves, huh?

-Awesome, big man.

Awesome! Awesome!

-I've got to get to class.

-Cool.

Man, I'm serious. Me and you working together, we c...

(Me and you together, we could get like gang bangs and everything.)

You're not right in the head.

-So, what did I miss in class?

-You stink of booze.

Defences against the formation of a contract.

I can't even remember them.

-You do know you're going to fail if you keep this up?

-Yep, whatever.

Here's a start for you.

Last one's a joke.

So you know the defences, big deal!

-That's not all I know.

-Yeah?

You've been a miserable cow all week.

Just trying to keep up with you, Eva.

You're still cut up about your ex.

It's obvious. And it's very sad.

The tune is class man! I'll show you before we head...

-Leech, what are you doing?

-All right?

-This is my cousin, McCann.

-Working on the guns, lad?

Just trying to stay in shape for the bitches. 50...

Aw! How you now? What have we got here?

Your ma been to visit then, yeah? Yeow!

-Kinky!

-Closest thing you'll get to a woman all year, son.

Do you want to see this clip before we go?

-What clip?

-Monkey riding on a pig.

Backwards. It's class.

MONKEY SCREAM Aagh!

There you go.

Is it always this messy?

The rest aren't, er, house trained yet.

Part of the fun I suppose...

Yeah.

Should we head out for some lunch?

-Sure we could make something here...

-I'd rather go out.

All right, Danny?

-Lads. This is, em, my mum.

-So what do you boys study?

-I do Architecture.

-IT.

-Third year Zoology.

-Oh, right?

-Yeah, my dissertation's on cross-breeding monkeys and pigs.

You know, DNA and stuff?

-Mum, you said you wanted to see my room didn't you?

-What?

-My room.

-Oh, erm...

Well, good luck with your studies, boys.

And keep an eye on this one - he's full of crap.

She nailed you pretty quick, didn't she?

-Yeah, come on, we got to get going.

-Monkey time!

What's this?

Where's my laptop?

Still no sign of it?

I had this assignment done two days ago.

I should have e-mailed it to myself or something.

-Have you spoken to your tutor?

-I've got an extension.

-Aw, that's a good start.

-It's only till tomorrow morning, but...

It's a first assignment, you can make up the grades later.

I should stop whinging and get on with it.

Energy drinks and chocolate on the hour, every hour...

-Is that supposed to be an incentive?

-Isn't it?!

-No. Clear off!

-See you later.

See ya.

Con, we've got to get going to the match...

You going to help or what?

It was a piece of crap anyway. Claim it back and get a new one.

Do you think it was taken with Sandie's?

Leech, where are you going!? Help me look here!

This is BOLLOCKS!

Relax man. It'll turn up.

There, told ya! Leech found it.

This bad boy's mine.

All right, he hasn't found it.

Conor, what's the deal? Have you got a load of work on it or what?

-What are you doing!?

-Gathering intel.

Con...

I really am finding it extremely difficult

as to why we are still in your bedroom.

The lads are about probably warming up by now.

-Con, you are the captain of the team, you know.

-Bingo.

You know him?

Who is he?

A guy from my old school.

The thieving kind?

Maybe, aye.

Do you know where he lives?

Conor, we've got a game. It was a piece of crap, forget about it.

'Hey, this is Jack. You know what happens next.'

VOICEMAIL TONE

Hi. It's me. Just thought I'd call to see how you're doing.

Anyway, give me a call when you're free.

Be good to catch up. OK, Bye.

This place reminds me of Benson Street. Do you remember it?

-Before we came up here.

-Wasn't I like one?

No, you'd just turned three. Do you not remember it?

I remember Dad fixing stuff all the time.

And you teaching our David the piano...

That was a long time ago.

I'm getting in the way,

harking on about the past when you've friends you'd rather be with.

It's just awkward with people hanging about all the time.

Why don't we go home?

-I could make you some tea.

-Mum...

Oh, come on!

You said you've no lectures.

We could watch one of your films...

Are you not bringing some things back with you?

Yeah, I'll grab a bag.

But the taxi's here.

It's all right, I'll grab my stuff and follow you.

-No, I'll wait.

-I just have to nip into college, Mum.

I'll get what I need and see you back at the house. All right?

-You are coming, aren't you?

-Yeah. I'll be home before you know it.

Hi. Who's that?

My mum.

-Aw, I missed your mum?

-Yeah. So, you decided to come then?

'Are you sure this is it?'

Yeah, I think so.

-Leech! What's going on, ya wee rat?!

-All right Meadows?

Where've you been all summer? Why didn't you go to Dempster's party?

-You'd good craic at the last one, didn't you?

-Hm.

-We're looking for a couple of laptops went missing in our halls last night.

-Right...?

You were there weren't you?

I was a lot of places last night, mate.

Just want to know if you saw anything?

Don't mind anyone dodgy like...

You know anything about a couple of stolen laptops?

-No.

-Sorry, can't help you big man.

Leech lad, hopefully be seeing more of you.

You're always good value for a laugh.

Oh, my mum's turned psycho. Yeah.

-Psycho?

-Yeah, she's a nightmare.

How bad are we talking?

Does your mum get your sister to check on you 24/7?

-I don't have a sister...

-Yeah, well I've got two, both annoyingly successful,

who keep calling me with questions that are obviously things Mum wants to know.

Why doesn't she call you herself?

What, and admit she's worried I'll screw up again?

They're all convinced I'm going to be the big disappointment,

but none of them can admit it to my face.

Ugh! OK, rant over.

Tell me yours are the same? I can't be the only one.

Yeah, my mum calls. But she's been on her own since my dad left,

so I'm all she's got really.

The good son.

So, you and this Meadows, are you mates from school?

Mates? Me and him?

You looked pretty friendly... Two beers please.

He wasn't even in the same year as me in school.

Well, what's the story with him?

He got photos of my mate in the showers,

sent them all round the school.

Got the piss ripped out of him for months.

Good man, thanks.

Cheers.

-Will we head over, aye?

-Yeah.

-Oswald Cobblepot. Trust me.

-You need to get out more...

Question nine, what is the correct term for a large group of whales?

-Kerry Katona and a hall full of mirrors?

-That sounds dirty.

Does anyone know the answer?

-It's a school.

-How'd you know that?

-Have you not seen Free Willy?

-Have you finished yet?

No. I'm just taking a wee break before I get back to it.

In the film Rango, what type of reptile is Johnny Depp?

-MOBILE RINGS

-What?!

-I know this. I know this

-You not going to answer that?

-Nah, it's fine.

Leech, seriously, people can actually see you cheating!

Those emos? What are they going to do, slit their wrists?

QUIZ MASTER: We're going to take a ten-minute break

before we come back for the final round.

-You know that fella?

-How could you forget a face like that?

I think that's the prick that stole our laptops. Mine's gone too.

-It's your fault, you know that?

-Same again?

You're a cock, do you know that?

See, I'd do a lot better if there were more questions on martial arts.

You know, like kung fu, jujitsu, tae kwon do...

Jujitsu... I've spent years mastering the techniques.

What dan?

Excuse me?

-What dan? Skill level?

-Oh, like right at the top.

So, show us some moves.

Nah.

Nah, if I hit you I'd get arrested for assault with a deadly weapon.

Or you could get arrested for being full of crap.

Sorry, who are you?

I mean, who does that?

You don't butt in on a conversation and cock block a total stranger.

-Trust me, you were cock blocking yourself.

-Seriously, who are you?

Seriously, I'm one of the people that's been watching you cheat all night.

-I wasn't cheating.

-Oh really?

Oh, this looks oddly familiar...

The common chameleon?

Give it back.

No problem.

Unless you've grown a set of balls, you're in the wrong toilets love.

-What's the deal?

-What you doing tonight?

-What's it to you?

-Maybe we could meet up.

-I thought you weren't interested?

-I thought you were?

-Maybe I changed my mind.

-Maybe I've changed mine.

I'll be in The Factory in about an hour.

-Will I see you there?

-The Factory?

In an hour.

You know, the offie's still open.

Fancy grabbing a carry out and heading back to halls?

I think we've a chance of winning. Besides, I want that crate of beer.

-Leech and his phone can take care of it.

-One half man and his phone?

Amazing...

Look, how about we get one more drink here and then we'll go, yeah?

Cool.

MOBILE RINGS

Hi?

'Hello, do you know the person who owns this phone?

'She was in earlier in a bit of a state.'

Sorry?

-'Her ID says Alison Burns.'

-Yeah, this is her son.

'She walked out of here without paying for anything, she left her bag as well.'

Where?

'McAuley's petrol station, off the Westlink.'

Come on, what are yous up to?

-CONOR: He's got our gear.

-We're going to get it back.

-How are yous going to do that?

-Right, let's go.

Mum? Are you there?

If you're there, please just pick up the phone.

-Can we not ring the police and let them deal with it?

-And say what?

There's this dodgy guy we know, we think he stole our laptops,

could you go knock on his door and see if they're there?

-How do we even know it was him?

-Do you want your coursework back?

Not if it means burglarising a house!

Don't be so thick, Sandie.

Burglary is trespassing with the intent to steal. We're not stealing anything.

LEECH: We're just sneaking in to get back what's yours, yeah?

SANDIE: It's all her fault anyway. She should go in by herself.

Fine by me.

No-one is going in by themselves.

-Look, Sandie, if you're too scared to go in...

-I'm not scared.

Leech?

-Ready. I'm ready to g-go in.

-OK.

You go round front and keep an eye out.

If anyone comes along, ANYONE, you give us a call

-and we'll get out of there. OK?

-Yeah.

Be careful.

HE POUNDS AT DOOR

-Any luck?

-No, mate.

Listen, you and Eva go in and I'll keep dick.

-Why are you keeping dick?

-Cos I keep great dick.

Well...

GLASS SHATTERS

How about you two pussies stop talking about dick?

Hurry up.

Guys, I'm not sure about this.

Did you hear that?

What?

Oh, grow a set.

-I heard something.

-Go. Hurry up.

Hurry up!

I can't see anything. Maybe I should put on a light?

Are you a complete eejit?

Get in, will you?

I think I found something.

What is it?

A massive torch.

-You're an idiot.

-Come on, let's go.

Jackpot.

Jesus. If you're not going to help, get outside.

I am helping.

Wah!

Ssh!

The p-p-pages were stuck together.

What is that?

CRICKETS CHIRP

What eats crickets?

Spiders.

It's just a spider!

It's on your shoe!

HE LAUGHS

Oh, you prick.

SHE STIFLES LAUGHTER

Shit!

Right, so this was a waste of time.

Maybe we should just go home.

PHONE RINGS

Sandie. Hey. What?

Come on, guys. Move. Move.

Guys.

I found the laptops.

Oh, dear God.

What?!

Go, get them.

Lift them. Lift.

Lift it. Lift.

Take the torch.

-What you going to do?

-Take it.

Oh, no...

Leech?

I got this.

You know it's bad luck to kill...

I HATE SPIII...!

Leech. Leech.

THEY LAUGH

What's taking them so long?

-I'm sure they're OK.

-What if something's happened?

-You don't...

-Who's your daddy?!

Thank goodness you're OK.

You want to see her busting the windae!

-I can't believe we just did that.

-I know! I want to do it again!

-Look what I got.

-Aw, no way.

Clean rescued off a total prick.

Em, have you guys seen Danny?

We've got to have a beer to celebrate.

-Exactly. Get drinking! You've got catching up to do.

-Too right.

-You not going to have one?

-No, I'm wrecked. I'll see you tomorrow.

OK.

You're here.

Some man called me on your phone.

I tried to ring the house.

What were you doing at the garage?

I was worried sick.

I stopped to pick up some things.

More drink, you mean?

Danny...

Stop. I'm tired of excuses.

I'm away to bed.

I wanted to make you something nice.

You said you were coming home.

There's a plate of food for you in the fridge.

Mum...

I can't keep doing this.

I'm sorry.

It's OK.

I'm sorry...

MUFFLED CHAT THROUGH WALL

MUSIC: "Lippy Kids" by Elbow

# Lippy kids on the corner again

# Lippy kids on the corner begin

# Settling like crows

# Though I never perfected the simian stroll

# The cigarette scent, it was everything then

# Do they know those days

# Are golden

# Build a rocket, boys

# Build a rocket, boys!

# One long June

# I came down from the trees

# And kerbstone cool

# You were a freshly painted angel

# Walking on walls

# Stealing booze and hour-long hungry kisses

# And nobody knew me at all anymore

# Build a rocket, boys

# Build a rocket, boys

# Build a rocket, boys... #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd