Episode 5 6Degrees

You have to delete that picture off your phone!

Sandie, I've got the match to play.

Least I know who I am.

Not sure you could say the same.

Must get it from my mum. She's a worrier.

A worrier and an alcoholic? Must be good craic at your house.

OK, your turn.

My sister killed herself.

Get off me!

She's an eager one, I'll give her that.

Fellas do the weirdest things just to try and be one of the lads.

Man, you have no standards.

I have standards!

MUSIC: "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5

-SHE LAUGHS

-Read and weep, loser.

-You play a little too rough.

-What? For a girl?

For a crazed, in-bred pitbull.

-Flattery gets you everywhere.

-Will it get me a blow job?

-You're such a romantic!

-Bring out the best in me.

Careful, you almost sound loved-up.

Maybe I am.

You know, there's this little voice in my head telling me

we really should be in lectures.

Well, don't listen to that little voice, listen to the louder voice.

What's that telling me?

Well, it's asking what you'd rather be doing.

Component analysis or kicking back, street fighting,

eating cold pizza and having the best sex you've ever had.

The best sex I've ever had?

Have you invited someone else round?

SHE GIGGLES

Calm down. It's only me.

Why... Why did you do that?

To see your face.

Well, it was worth it.

I just aged 10 years.

Come on. Get up and come help us.

-With what?

-The party!

Danny, it's Halloween.

Sandie's made a rota, come on.

-People are going to come, aren't they?

-Yes, stop worrying.

-But no GAA heads.

If I see a Gaelic shirt, I will not be responsible for my actions.

You know Leech didn't come home again last night?

He still lives here, doesn't he?

Conor, what are you coming as tonight?

Eh, I was thinking of a student from Cork.

-Where you going?

-For a swim, is that OK?

-As long as you come back and help us.

And I mean only you. There's a ban on Gaelic lads tonight.

You're lucky we're letting you come.

Next time, why don't yous make an effort?

-Not a bit early for fancy dress?

-Ha! Almost the funniest thing you've ever said.

So why didn't anyone ask me to help, then?

-Would you have said yes?

-What do you think?

-What more have we got to do?

-Do you want to see the list for the shops?

-Aye. Give us it. I'll go.

Danny, I'll come with you. Look everyone, I'm helping.

Can't we not just, like, stay here forever?

I've got an assignment to do, so do you.

Aye, but sure that was done and dusted, what, three days ago.

We only got it three days ago.

-Aye, but sure, mine's probably balls.

-It's just me and you, Chris.

I know, so?

So, you don't always need a punchline.

What's that supposed to mean?

-I don't get why you have to be the funny guy all the time.

-That's like me saying you talk all the time.

Huh? Stupid question. Who likes boring people anyway? Huh? No-one!

-Being yourself doesn't mean you're boring.

-Yes, it does!

OK, I... I'm the bollocks, am I joking now?

-No, but you're full of crap.

-I love you too.

Listen - I better go, all right?

Yeah, my other fellas will be here any minute. So...

That supposed to make me jealous?

-If you're not jealous, you don't give a shit.

-I do!

Give a shit.

Tupperware bowls, where are we going to get them?

It's not my problem. I've to go see a man about a dog.

What? Let the side down again, have I?

Naughty step for me, is it?

-Quick.

-What?

Danny, what are you doing?

What is your problem?

I mean, I always hide from my ma when I see her.

Or she hides from me.

-I don't have a problem!

-Do you know, maybe we should do, like, a parent swap.

-You get the repression, I get the alcoholic?

-You what?

Well, I'd probably get the better deal from that one. Alcos are way more fun.

Has anyone told you what a mouth you have on you?

No, it's usually, "Eva, you really need to come out of yourself a wee bit more."

Danny. It was a joke.

Danny?!

No, I can do it by myself.

Give me that.

You think it looks crap?

Nah, I think it looks great.

Sandie, I'm really sorry about everything.

I've been a big idiot.

Like, a major idiot.

I'm really sorry.

We friends again?

Have you got your costume for tonight?

Yeah. I'm wearing it.

No, you have to wear a costume. It's compulsory.

Tell you what, I may as well apologise now

because I'm getting proper wrecked tonight.

Yeah, I'm ready for a day of self-loathing tomorrow.

Chris! So, guess who ditched her lecture?

You were right. I could spend my day hitting my head against a laptop or I could spend it with you.

Something you want to tell us, Leech?

Yeah, eh, guys, this is Carly.

Carly, Jess, Danny, Conor and Sandie.

Ah, yeah, I think I remember you from the club, right?

Sounds like you've been keeping secrets, Christopher?

-No, no, no. I'm, I'm, I'm...

-Aw, he's going red!

-No, I'm not.

-That explains all the nights out.

I didn't know you had it in you, son.

Aw, leave him alone.

-Maybe you can keep an eye on him at the party tonight?

-What party?

-I was going to tell you...

Eh, why so secretive, Leech? What you trying to hide?

-Oh yeah. There's plenty of secrets between us, isn't there, huh?

-Really? I think I've been missing out.

Don't think you were missing out when you were in Eva's bed, were you...mate?

Come on, let's go.

Maybe we should have a bet on how many Frankensteins turn up?

-Actually, Frankenstein's the doctor, not the monster.

-Wow, so you do actually know something about film?

It's actually a book, Danny.

-Nothing happened, by the way.

-Excuse me?

I'm just saying, me and Eva... that'd be messed up.

Why?

You know, we live in the same halls.

-Yeah, I guess. Not a good idea.

-Which is why nothing happened.

Cool. Cool.

You're obviously pissed off about something...

So let's tick them off.

Your friends don't have a clue about me - tick.

You didn't tell me about this party you're having - tick.

You're pissed off with me because you haven't met the clowns I live with?

-Are you seeing someone else?

-Don't be stupid.

-When I'm someone's secret I start wondering why?

-How come I haven't I met any of your mates?

-What?

-I mean, I don't have it in my head that you're hiding me.

Maybe you just want to keep things separate.

If I become all pally with your friends and then all of a sudden we break up, what happens then?

-All right, so we're breaking up now?

-Not over this.

Seriously, there's a lot worse to come.

I'm sorry, you can't stay mad at me forever, can you?

-And the party?

-Come!

Sorry, what?

It's going to be crap, but yeah, come. Definitely.

What you going as?

-Kick-Ass would so win.

-You don't even have super powers!

-No, but I have skills.

A very particular set of skills. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.

Right. That's Liam Neeson in Taken.

Told you I had skills.

-Oh, I think she looks cute!

-Woo-woo!

HE LAUGHS Eva's a tranny!

-Ha-ha! Says the freak in the gimp suit.

-Right, I need a drink.

-Can someone help me out here?

-Give me that.

Thought you didn't do fancy dress?

Thought I'd make the effort.

Well, who are you? All you did was put on a suit.

Bond...James Bond.

Smooth!

Well, it's not really a costume if there's no lycra.

-One of those for me?

-Here you go.

Happy Halloween, guys!

CHEERING

Leech! Leech. I think your sidekick's arrived.

Come on, who's next?

-Shall we go and get a drink?

-Eh. Yeah. Two seconds.

-All right, sorry.

Thought you might need some back-up?

You're actually hotter than Hit Girl...

-She was a kid.

-SHE LAUGHS

Can I get a wee group photo? Conor, Danny, come on. We'll get a photo together.

Here, I'll take it.

Leech? You coming over? On the count of three, everybody do a wee pose.

One, two, three, cheese!

Oh, you're joking me.

So, who invited so many of my exes?

OK, so this is the part where I say I'm a prick, you agree,

but you're over it and we live happily ever after.

Not as in forever forever, cos that would just be weird.

-I knew it. I knew he'd be here.

-Yeah.

My old fella always said, "If you fail, try, try again."

Well he was wrong. If you fail, stop.

-I'd have at least turned up in a mask.

-Where was my invite?

It's not my party, bud.

Me and Sandie got some making up to do, haven't we?

-You actually enjoy causing aggro, don't you?

-Won't even know I'm here.

-What's with the face?

-I'm in character.

Half man, half prawn.

-So, where's the girlfriend?

-OK, can we actually use her name now?

-So how long have yous two...?

-It's early days yet, mate. You know me, don't do "steady".

'The mass is at three, so your dad said he'd pick you up from the station when you get in.

'Just let us know when you're on your way.

'And, love, please bring something decent to wear.

'We want to do Maeve proud. OK? Bye, love.'

Yeah, it's block 3A. Cool. OK, see you in a bit. Bye.

-Has he gone to spook someone else?

-Sorry?

McCann?

How would I know?

Sandie'll go mad if she knows you invited him.

I didn't invite him.

I just don't know why you're keeping it secret.

-There's nothing going on with me and McCann.

-None of my business.

No, you're right - it isn't.

To be honest, you're the one to talk about keeping secrets.

-I was just saying.

-Saying what?

You mean, you and Eva?

Kept that one quiet, didn't you?

-So, you are bothered?

-Get over yourself.

I told you nothing happened!

Look, I know you're still messed up over Jack,

-but I just think you can do better.

-What, like you?

-OK, so we dancing or what?!

-Come on, I want to show you something.

-What is it?

-It's in my room.

-Oh, it's like that, is it?

McCann. I want a word.

Good hiding place. Wish I'd have thought of it.

I should have just said sorry...before.

I hid from my own mother.

How screwed up is that?

I'm not going there again.

I haven't spoken to her in, like, nearly a month.

If there was anything wrong with her, you would have heard.

Every time the phone goes, I think it's her.

Or worse...

The police, the hospital.

Cos that call's coming... I know it is.

So, why are you out here?

Well...

Maeve's anniversary mass is coming up.

I'm just thinking of the best excuse not to go.

So any ideas would be dead on.

-What is it with you thinking you can help yourself to everything?

-All right, man. Calm down.

Who invited the boys from Glee?

Not me.

Not to worry, lads. More birds left for us.

-Having fun?

-Yeah, it's been eventful.

You know he wouldn't have worn that suit for anyone else.

Yeah. It's just guilt, that's all.

So, you wouldn't go there - even if he begged you?

Please, Jess. That's like you getting back with McCann.

Yeah, well, that's never going to happen, so...

Well, I'll drink to that.

-See you later.

-Yeah. See you in a bit.

You know that old cliche about dead weans' rooms,

where the parents keep everything exactly the same?

That's what my house is like.

But when she left for Belfast, they didn't say a word.

They just let her go.

Thought she'd come back...

-You know you have to go home.

-Why?

The same reason I'll end up going back to my mum's.

It's family.

KNOCKING

So...

Freddie Mercury's having sex with Marilyn Monroe in the ladies' toilets.

Great.

Conor... We're friends again, right?

Yeah... I thought we sorted that earlier.

OK. Well...

OK. Well, friends, they - they tell each other things.

I mean, they're honest with one another.

Right?

OK.

I know, Conor.

Know what?

Don't worry. I'm not going to say anything.

What are you talking about?

You and Justin.

Oh, yeah. I'm always out in Vegas. Last time, I got thrown out of a few casinos

-cos I'd cleaned 'em out, like.

-You cleaned them out?

-Yeah!

THEY LAUGH

I don't suppose you've got any...

-What?

-You know, gear?

-Chris!

-Leech...

Have you got any more wine?

THEY LAUGH

-Laters, yeah?

-Eh, laters, Leech.

-THEY LAUGH

-What were you doing talking to one of them idiots?

-What?

No, they're all right. You've just got to know how to play them.

And while you played them, you forgot about me?

Chris!

I didn't forget about you!

-I've been waiting in your room for the last 20 minutes.

-I... I went to go get you a drink

-and I got distracted by my mates.

-They're not your mates.

Huh? Of course they are.

I can't get away from them - you know what it's like.

Look, I don't want to be a whiney girlfriend,

but I'd like it if you spent a bit more time with me.

Just let me change the music. This crap's doing my head in and then I'll come get you, yeah?

You couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?

Conor...

-I know exactly what you are.

-So let me prove you wrong.

-You heard the one about hell freezing over first?

-I'll get Conor to do it twos up. Said you were keen.

-Conor wouldn't say that.

-What wouldn't I say?

-Ah, here he is, the man himself.

What wouldn't I say?

Come on, Conor, we all know she laid it on a plate for you.

-I think you should go.

-You heard her.

-What's going on? Taking her side over mine?

-I'm not taking anyone's side.

-Because he's not four years old.

You know, you look proper horny when you're pissed off.

You don't know when to walk away, do you?

-Me and you never walk away from anything.

-I'm nothing like you.

-Do know what? You're right. You've changed, man.

-Get out!

Or you'll do what? We all know you fight like a fruit.

Conor, no! Oh, my goodness. Conor, stop it! Please stop!

Conor! Leave it!

Conor, that's enough!

HE GROANS

-Conor, wait.

-Leave me alone.

No. Not until you calm down. Look, Conor, I haven't told anyone!

And I won't. As long as that's what you want.

-There's nothing to tell!

-Conor! I worked it out myself.

Worked what out? Seriously.

Whatever you think you know...

Conor.

You don't know what you're talking about.

It doesn't matter!

It matters to me!

I wish...

I wish I could just be with you. I really do.

-HE SOBS

-I can't. I'm sorry.

No... No.

Don't you apologise for who you are.

Do you hear me?

You're not on your own.

I didn't see what happened.

I heard Conor floored him.

Sorry. Something kicked off between McCann and Conor.

Should we just get out of here?

Yeah. Let's go.

-I'm fine.

-See ya.

All right, Leech?

What's up?

I just told the boys you can down a pint in under 10 seconds, they don't believe me.

-He's full of crap, Leech.

-Chris, come on...

You want to put some money on that?

All right, then. A tenner?

-Bet with the big boys and make it 20.

-If you're going to make an idiot of yourself, I can't watch.

-Does your girlfriend always tell you what to do, Leech?

-His name's Chris.

-Ooh! It's Chris.

-Don't do this.

-Come on.

-It's cool. I got it.

They're laughing at you, not with you.

Don't let her talk about you like that. Say something to her. Go. Go!

You don't have to be a performing idiot for them.

Performing? I didn't ask you to come over here tonight, did I?

-Leech has grown a pair!

-Maybe I shouldn't have.

Good! Cos I don't need a stalking bunny-boiler on my case all night,

especially looking like that.

Oh! Boom!

Go on, you boy!

Yeah well, this is just a costume, Chris.

I can take it off. Shame you can't do the same.

Carly...

Welcome to the family, kid.

Now show us what you're made of!

Yous backed the wrong horse, lads!

SHOUTING

THEY LAUGH

That's piss!

Leech. Where's your 20? Come on, Leech, where's the 20?

You lose, Leech.

Ah. Come on, Leech. Leech!

You can't keep going like this.

You decide what happens now. If you want me to disappear, I'm gone.

That's not what I want.

So, what do you want?

# God knows what is hiding in those weak and drunken hearts

# I guess you kissed the girls and made them cry

# Those hard-faced queens of misadventure

# God knows what is hiding in those weak and sunken eyes

# Fiery throngs of muted angels

# Giving love but getting nothing back

# Oh, people help the people

# And if you're homesick, give me your hand and I'll hold it

# People help the people

# And nothing will drag you down

# Oh, and if I had a brain Oh, and if I had a brain

# I'd be cold as a stone and rich as a fool

# That turned all those good hearts away

# God knows what is hiding... #

Happy Christmas!

Not really in the Christmas spirit, Sandie.

-Thought you might have been gone.

-I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye.

Bye.

Carly, wait. You're the only one who gets me.

I'm sorry.

-Eva, what are you trying to do?

-Ignore her.

You're good at that, aren't you, Danny?

Grow up, Eva! You're like a spoilt child. Do you think Maeve would be proud

of how you're paying your respects to her today?

# Give me your hand and I'll hold it

# People help the people

# And nothing will drag you down

# Oh, and if I had a brain Oh, and if I had a brain

# I'd be cold as a stone and rich as the fool

# That turned all those good hearts away. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd