The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe Doctor Who

'People of Earth, you stand alone.'

KLAXON BLARES

'Intruder alert, intruder alert.

'Intruder alert.'

Ah!

Oh!

Who-o-o-oa!

Whoa!

HE STRAINS

Whoa!

Ahh! Ah!

Come here, spacesuit, come to Doctor.

Arrrrgh!

Who-o-o-o-oa!

Argh!

Got it! Ha-ha, ha-ha-ha!

Argh! Argh!

BICYCLE WHEELS SQUEAK

-WHISTLING

-Whoa!

LOUD CRASH

Ooh!

Ooh!

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Are you all right?

HE GROANS

Are you hurt?

Did you fall?

Where did you fall FROM?

HE GROANS

The helmet...

All right. Just...

Just let me, er...

I don't want to hurt you.

-Oh!

-I can't see! I'm blind!

Oh, no, love. No.

I think you've just got your helmet on backwards.

How did you manage that?

I got dressed in a hurry.

Cyril, what are you doing awake?

It's the moon's fault, apparently. It's too interesting.

-It's astronomy.

-Don't make up words.

He's always making up things and breathing.

-Where's your father?

-In the garden.

-What's he doing in the garden?

-Agriculture.

You're not fooling anyone!

Listen, Cyril. Tell him that I've borrowed Mr Goldsmith's car,

that I found a spaceman in a field - possibly an angel -

but he's injured, and I can't get his helmet off,

so I'm taking him into town to find a police telephone box. All right?

-All right.

-Good boy!

Was that your mother? Where's she going?

Out.

-CRASH!

-Ow!

DOG BARKS

HE GROANS

HR COUGHS

Did we just...bump into something?

No, no.

-We seemed to bump into quite a lot of things.

-Well, a lot of things get in the way. It's hardly my fault.

You need to take that silly thing off.

Can't. Impact suit. It's still repairing me.

Repairing you?

Yeah. Well, I mean, that's the idea.

Won't it repair you all back to front?

-No, no.

-Well, that's good!

-Oooh...

-Oh!

-..there's a streetlamp.

-Yes. I got that impression.

-Round this way.

Don't you want me to take you to hospital or something?

Or you're welcome to come to our house.

No, no, no. I'm fine. I just need to find the...er...

-the key...

-Oooh, do you want me to do it with a pin?

I'm good with a pin.

Multi-dimensional, triple-encoded temporal interface.

Not really susceptible to pointy things.

Ooh! Ah!

Got it!

OK. Suddenly the last 900 years of time travel seem that bit less secure.

Thank you for taking care of me.

You didn't have to, you know. You've been very kind.

Don't be silly. It's Christmas Eve. No-one should be alone at Christmas.

-What did you say your name was?

-Madge. Madge Arwell.

-If there's ever anything that I can do for you, let me know.

-How?

-I don't know. Make a wish, that usually works.

-Does it?

-Well, it did for me. You're here, aren't you?

-Oh!

Oh! Well, don't wait around here. Just...off you go home.

I'll just go and, er, and wait inside here.

-BUMP

-Ow!

Wrong one. Do you think we could try again?

DOOR OPENS

You were a long time. Been taking home strays, as usual?

Just the one. What have you been reading?

Not the war again!

People keep reading about the war, then it will actually happen.

And then where will you be?

Sir, Anderson's in a bad way. Where are we?

I don't know. Somewhere over the Channel.

-What do I tell Anderson?

-Tell him...

Tell him... Tell him we're going home for Christmas.

Yes, sir.

I'm sorry, my love.

HE SNIFFS

-When's Father coming back?

-For Christmas, like he always does.

Now, hurry up and think of something.

But we're going to Uncle Digby's house. Will he be there?

He will, won't he, Mother? Daddy WILL be there?

Of course he will.

See? Now, have you thought of anything?

Erm...yep.

Count of three, then. Make a wish.

One, two, three.

SNAP!

Is it haunted?

Is it draughty?

Oh, this is no good.

Where's Mr Cardew? He was supposed to be here.

SHE KNOCKS ON DOOR

Maybe it's haunted by the ghost of Uncle Digby.

-Uncle Digby is still alive. He's in a home in Battersea.

-MADGE CONTINUES KNOCKING

-Mr Cardew!

-But why do we have to come here?

-Because of the bombing, stupid.

-I like the bombing. It's exciting.

Will Father be here?

He will, won't he? You said he'd meet us at the house.

He'll be here, of course he will. You don't need to keep asking about it.

DOOR UNLOCKS

Father!

Sorry! It's the door, it's developed a fault.

Oh, hello? Mr Cardew?

There we go!

Well, come in, in you come.

Mind your step.

Now, don't worry, the back door is still,

broadly speaking, operational.

Right, then, may I take your cases?

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Lovely.

-Would you mind carrying them for me? I need to show you round.

-Oh, no, wait! Who are you?

-I'm the caretaker.

-But you're not Mr Cardew.

-I agree.

-But I don't understand. Are you the new caretaker?

Usually called the Doctor. Or the Caretaker. Or Get Off This Planet.

Though, strictly speaking, that probably isn't a name.

Hello, Madge Arwell.

-Hello.

-And Cyril Arwell.

And Lily Arwell.

Now, come on, come on, lots to see. Whistle-stop tour.

Take notes, there will be questions.

Smaller sitting room. Just chairs.

Bit pointless without a television, so I made some repairs.

I know!

Kitchen! That's a cooker, probably.

And these are taps.

Hot, cold...

-lemonade.

-Lemonade?

I know!

Staircase.

Seems to have broken down.

We'll have to walk up.

I sleep up there, stay away, beware of panthers.

Panthers??

They're terrifying! Have you never seen panthers?

Cyril!

Mum's bedroom, grown-up, your basic boring.

Lily and Cyril's room! I'm going to be honest...

masterpiece. The ultimate bedroom.

A sciencey-wiencey workbench. A jungle! A maze!

A window disguised as a mirror. A mirror disguised as a window!

Torches for midnight feasts and secret reading.

Zen garden, mysterious cupboard, zone of tranquility,

rubber wall, dream tank, exact model of the rest of the house -

not QUITE to scale, apologies -

dolls with comical expressions, the Magna Carta, a foot spa,

Cluedo, a yellow fort.

-Where are the beds?

-I couldn't fit everything in. There had to be sacrifices.

Anyway, who needs beds when you've got...

..hammocks?!

(I know!)

-But how do you get on?

-Watch and learn, kid.

For God's sake!

This hammock has developed a fault!

Can you please stop talking? Can you please just stop?

-Sorry.

-Children, go downstairs.

-Why?

-Are we leaving?

Yes! No! I don't know. Just, please, go downstairs!

You don't need to shout.

Why are you doing all this?

I'm just...trying to take care of things. I'm the caretaker.

That's not what caretakers do.

Then why are they called caretakers?

Their father's dead.

I'm sorry.

Lily and Cyril's father - my husband - is dead, and they don't know yet.

Because if I tell them now, then Christmas will always be what took their father away from them,

and no-one should have to live like that.

Of course, when the Christmas period is over, I shall...

I don't know why I keep shouting at them.

Because every time you see them happy,

you remember how sad they're going to be,

and it breaks your heart.

Mother, come and see!

Mother, you've got to see this. Come on!

Because what's the point in them being happy now

if they're going to be sad later?

-Mother!

-Mother? Are you coming?

The answer is, of course...

because they are going to be sad later.

Now, we'd better get downstairs.

I think they may have found the main sitting room.

Mother!

(I repaired it.)

Ha.

TRAIN TOOTS

CHILDREN LAUGH PLAYFULLY

I know!

Look at that present!

-It's for me!

-It says it's for all of us.

I'm the youngest, I get to open it first!

Doesn't say who it's from. Mother, who left this here?

That man is quite ridiculous. You must stay away from him.

-I like him.

-I like him, too.

And it's a nice tree, isn't it?

It's the BEST tree in the world.

Yes.

Yes, I suppose it is.

Say it, mother. Go on, please.

Say the thing you always say.

This Christmas is going to be the best Christmas ever.

SOFT WHISPERING VOICES

Lily!

Lily, can you sleep?

-Lily!

-Shut up!

What do you think that present is?

We could just sneak down and have a look.

Go to sleep!

SOFT WHISPERING VOICES

ELECTRONIC SPARKING

ELECTRONIC SPARKING

SOFT WHISPERING VOICES

ELECTRONIC SPARKING

DOOR CREAKS

ELECTRONIC SPARKING

ELECTRONIC SPARKING

SOFT WHISPERING VOICES

ELECTRONIC SPARKING

You were lying about the panthers.

-Famous last words.

-Why have you got a phone box in your room?

It's not a phone box, it's my...

wardrobe. I've just painted it to look like a phone box.

-What are you doing?

-Rewiring.

-Why would you rewire a wardrobe?

-Have you seen the way I dress?

SOFT WHISPERING VOICES

Who are you?

REALLY, who are you?

ELECTRONIC BLEEPING

Your brother, where is he?

SOFT WHISPERING VOICES

SOFT WHISPERING VOICES

DOOR OPENS

Still in bed, asleep.

OK. Faulty, then.

SQUEAK, HE GASPS

SQUEAK

SQUEAK

HE PANTS

ELECTRONIC BLEEPING

You're sure he's still in bed?

SOFT WHISPERING VOICES

-See?

-Sh, sh!

OWL HOOTS

Oh, he's good!

The old bear and duvet, eh?

Classic.

Cyril!

What's happening? I don't...

What IS that?

With me, quickly, come on!

That's it.

In you come. Brr! Bit cold. Never mind. Cyril?

-Cyril?

-Where are we??

In a forest in a box in a sitting room. Pay attention!

He's about 20 minutes ahead of us.

-But we just saw him.

-Time moves differently across the dimensional planes.

-What do they teach you in schools these days?

-But I don't understand where we are!

We've gone through a dimensional portal...

-thingy.

-Well, what's that supposed to be? Where did it come from?

It was a present. And it wasn't supposed to be opened till Christmas Day.

Honestly, who opens their Christmas presents early?

OK. Shut up. Everyone.

SOFT WHISPERING VOICES

I don't understand. Is this place real?

-Is it fairyland?

-Fairyland?! Oh, grow up, Lily!

Fairyland looks completely different.

Now, these are Cyril's footprints,

and these are the ones he was following.

-Notice anything?

-The other footprints are getting bigger.

Yes. Whatever your brother's following...

it's growing.

Well, then we have to get after him!

It's OK, you're fine. Don't worry.

Is that tree...alive?

-Of course it's alive, it's a TREE!

-But is it dangerous?

Well, every rose has its thorns.

-They're like Christmas tree decorations.

-Yeah.

Naturally occurring Christmas trees.

HE SNIFFS

Oh, how cool is that?

-I don't understand.

-It's a big universe.

Everything happens somewhere.

Call it a coincidence, call it an idea echoing among the stars.

Personally, I call it a brilliant idea for a Christmas trip.

Or it should've...

SOFT WHISPERING VOICES

..been.

Do you know the difference between wind and trees talking to each other?

What?

No wind.

I've been here many times, but I've never heard the trees so active.

Something's wrong.

What are you doing?

What are you up to?

I'm sorry, Lily. I really am,

but there is something very wrong in this forest,

and your brother's right in the middle of it.

Lily and Cyril Arwell, where are you?

SOFT WHISPERING VOICES

DOOR CREAKS

HE GASPS

WOODEN CREAKING

Why would you bring us to this place?

It was supposed to be a treat. This is one of the safest planets I know.

There's never anything dangerous here.

BANG

There are sentences I should just keep away from.

BANG

BANG

BANG, SHE CRIES OUT

SHE GASPS

'This tree farm is private property. You are trespassing.'

Oh!

SCANNER WHINES

SCANNER WHINES

-Unarmed, sir.

-What the hell are you doing here?

No, wait! Armed! No, unarmed.

Sorry, sir. She's wearing wool, sir. It's the natural fabrics, they interfere with...

Please say we can tell the difference between wool and side arms.

We can tell the difference, sir.

Can we?

Not always, sir, no.

What are you doing here, and do you understand what is about to happen in this forest?

-I was just...

-Sir, I think she's a time traveller.

-And we're sure it's not her cardigan?

-Who are you?

It was Christmas!

SHE SOBS

DOOR SQUEAKS AND CREAKS

It's just irresponsible! How can you do this to my brother?

-It was meant to be a supervised trip.

-To the future?

-The future, yes.

-On a different planet.

-Oh, yes, very different.

-Where Christmas trees just happen.

Sort of Christmas trees, they're not REALLY Christmas trees.

WOODEN CREAKING

Oh, look at that!

-What, are we going in?

-Well, Cyril did.

Interesting...

What's that? What's that statue? What is it?

-It's like a king.

-A king, possibly, but not a statue.

(Look at the floor.)

This is what Cyril was following - the growing thing.

Hatched from a bauble on a tree.

Grew to this size in less than an hour, I'd say.

Oosh!

Impressive.

And so is this building!

Yes. It's grown, see.

This building, it isn't a building, it's a group of trees

grown in the SHAPE of a building, disguised as a building.

Ooh, clever, I love.

Clever, clever old forest.

So, a forest grows a building. Why would it do that, Lily?

-I don't know.

-Why's there honey in a honey trap?

-Because it's a trap?

Exactly. Thing about people, we can never resist a door.

So, this is a trap? We've just walked straight into a trap?

A people trap. Question is...

(..why does a forest need people?)

-We should go! We have to get out of here.

-Except?

Except Cyril's here.

So, let's find Cyril.

Ma'am, please stop crying. I can't interrogate you while you're crying.

This is a military engagement!

There's no crying in military engagements!

Corporal Ven-Garr, are you....

I'm fine, sir.

What is wrong with you??

I have...mother issues, sir. It's all on file.

It won't affect the performance of my duties.

Sir, with regret, I'm going to have to lower my gun.

-Why?

-She is a crying, unarmed female civilian.

-I'm thinking of the visual.

-Nobody's looking.

Doesn't mean there's no visual.

That's exactly what "nobody's looking" means! It means there's no visual.

VEN-GARR SOBS

I'm sorry, sir. it's under control. Do you want me to shoot her, sir?

Oh, this visual's deteriorating, sir.

Shut up!

What are you doing??

I am respecting her as a woman, sir.

Oh... OK. We're putting our guns on the ground.

OK? Happy now? We're stepping away from our guns.

Now can we interrogate you??

We're from Androzani Major, the year is 5345, and we mean you no harm.

Where are you from?

England, 1941.

And there's a war on.

Oh, crying's ever so useful, isn't it?

If you say so. But there's nothing you could say that would convince me you'd ever use that gun.

Oh, really?

Well, I'm looking for my children!

Cyril?

Cyril? Can you hear me?

Cyril? Cyril?

Cyril, can you hear me?

Oh, of course, it's wood! It's rubbish at wood!

-It doesn't LOOK like wood.

-It's disguised wood. Have you been listening?

-How can trees grow into a building?

-Never underestimate a tree, Lily.

I met the forest of Cheem once. She fancied me.

-Look at that!

-Busy, actually. Yes, I know it's wood. Get over it!

-But there are stars. There are stars coming out.

-That does happen, Lily. Cyril!

Yes. But out of the trees.

What is that?

Life force.

Pure life force, just...

..singing.

Beautiful.

Doesn't it make you want to cry?

Crying when you're happy.

Ah, good for you.

That's so human.

WHOOSHING

-What's it? What is it? Tell me, what?!

-Cyril!

Can you hear me??

WOODEN CREAKING

WOODEN CREAKING

LOUD BANGING

BANGING ECHOES

(Oh, my god! Oh, my god!)

What is all this?

Is it some kind of cockpit?

My husband's a pilot.

It drives the platform.

I don't understand! How did I get here?

-You tell us, ma'am.

-I'm looking for my children.

-There can't be anyone else in this forest.

Well, she found her way in. Maybe her kids did, too.

-Then God help them.

-Why do you say that?

We can do a scan for life forms. We can detect people, even though they're far away.

-Like RDF? Radar?

-Yes.

-Then please stop patronising me and get on with it!

-Yes, ma'am.

Why did you say, God help my children?

This forest is about to be harvested.

Harvested?

Androzani trees. Greatest fuel source ever.

The entire area is being melted down for battery fluid.

Melted down? How do you melt a forest?

Acid rain. The satellites are in position.

Anyone still out there in five minutes...is going to burn.

Caretaker, it's coming.

-Open it!

-I'm trying!

-Open it!

-I'm trying!

BANG, SCRAPING

-(That wasn't me.)

-It doesn't matter!

What's wrong with him, Caretaker? Is he dead?

It's OK, he's just unconscious.

So, what are you, then?

Not a king, a queen!

The Queen Bee of the forest.

Caretaker!

Look!

It's like...

-Like what?

-Like the life force is leaving the forest.

THUMPING FOOTSTEPS

What are they doing? Stop him!

Oh, aliens made of wood! This was always going to happen, you know.

Um...

It's OK. I think they just want to talk to us.

They're scared.

Can't you hear them? The trees are screaming. Can't you hear?

No. But you can.

You're connected to them.

OK, picking up life signs about half a mile away.

Can we go to them? Can we move this thing?

I'm not trained, ma'am. Those two are.

-I can't trust them.

-I can't drive the platform, ma'am.

It looks a little like a plane.

My husband flies a plane. He took me up once.

It takes years of training!

I'm scanning for an audio connection - we might be able to hear them.

'Acid rain alert, five-minute warning. Prepare for beam-out.'

-I'm so sorry! You have to find a way out!

-'Evacuate.'

Acid fall is coming. You won't last two minutes!

-'Evacuate.'

-Don't go! No, please wait! No!

What am I going to do? I...

'Evacuate. Evacuate.'

-Where have you gone?

-'Acid fall in five minutes. Unauthorised personnel will be incinerated.'

BLEEPING

-LILY: 'Why have the stars left the trees?

-CYRIL: I think they're...'

Just concentrate. What are they doing?

Evacuating. They're evacuating.

Why?

They're...frightened of the rain.

The rain that burns.

'Caretaker, please explain.

'I'm frightened.'

Those stars. They're pure life force. Souls, if you like.

And they're trying to escape because they think their home is going to burn.

Why can't they just float up into the sky?

They need to travel inside a living thing.

Inside Cyril. You see, this...

It's not a crown, it's a relay.

They're turning your brother into a lifeboat!

That's what this place is for, then.

It's an escape plan, is that it?

Don't you harm him. Do not touch that child!

ALIEN VOICE: Your coming was foretold.

-Oh, my god, what is that? Why does he sound like that?

-Oh, hello! Are we lip-synching now?

-We had faith. Your coming was foretold.

-There's no such thing as foretelling. Trust a time traveller.

We waited, and you came.

So, you've got an escape plan. Why aren't you escaping?

The child is weak.

You mean he's a child.

No, he is weak. The forest cannot live in him.

But there are others.

There certainly are, and the good thing is, I look great in a hat.

-So, let's get this thing off, eh?

-You are also weak.

I'm really not.

Let's save a forest, eh, Cyril?

You are not the one. You are weak.

I'm really not!

-Ahh! Ahhhh!

-Let go of it, just let go!

Ahh!

Let go of it! Just let go!

-Please, just drop it!

-I can't!

Oh. It's funny, isn't it?

It's sort of...tingly.

Tingly?!

ALIEN VOICE: She is strong, but she is young.

LILY GASPS

She's strong, I'm weak.

-Interesting.

-Mummy?

Cyril, it's all right. It's me.

Mummy isn't here, but we're going home to her right now.

-Aren't we, Caretaker?

-THUNDER RUMBLES

(No.)

I don't think we are.

HEAVY RAINFALL

The rain that burns.

Acid rain.

'We have to get out of this forest, we're in terrible danger.

'This tower won't protect us for long.

-'Where's Mummy?

-She's coming. You know she's coming, because...'

because she always comes, doesn't she?

Cyril, the way we came here, that door won't stay open for ever.

Now, I'm not even sure if I can get us through the forest safely,

but if we're going to have any chance at all,

we have to go now.

No. We wait for Mummy.

Mummy always comes.

Not this time, Cyril. I'm sorry, but not this time.

What's that?

-It's an Androzani Harvester, but...

-You recognise that thing?

More to the point...

I think I recognise the driving!

Ha ha! Madge has entered the forest!

Come on, Madge, you can do it! You go, girl!

Shut up, you ridiculous oaf!

Come on. This way - whoa! - you can do it, you can do it!

Excellent driving! Hello!

-Caretaker?

-Yes!

You're fired!

Oh...

SHE STRAINS

Who-o-o-oa!

CRASH!

It's OK, she's fine, don't worry.

Stay here. Just stay here.

Madge, Madge!

You OK?

Stay inside, the rain is frightful!

Lily? Cyril?

Cyril!

-Mum!

-Lily!

Ah!

What are you doing? How dare you leave the house?!

Cyril, what have I told you about opening your presents early?

-Sorry, Mummy.

-Something like this was bound to happen.

LILY GASPS

WOODEN CREAKING

Oh, what are those?

Stay away from it. You have to stay back.

-That's beautiful, isn't it?

-Mummy?

See how it shines!

Nice one, Madge. A complete write-off!

The stars are going inside her. She's taking the whole forest!

Oh, this is marvellous.

Oh, this is really quite wonderful.

Madge! Are you all right?

Talk to me. Madge, can you hear me?

Yes, I can hear you. I'm perfectly fine, thank you.

Fine?! You've got a whole world inside your head!

I know. It's funny, isn't it?

One can't imagine being a forest, then suddenly one can.

How remarkable!

You're OK? She's OK?

ALIEN VOICE: She is strong.

Ooh! That wasn't me.

Oh, this is all really rather clever, isn't it?

She's strong? She's strong? Ooh!

Ooh! Stupid me! Stupid old Doctor!

-Do you get it, Cyril?

-No.

-Lily, you do, don't you?

-No.

Course you do! Think about it!

Weak and strong, it's a translation.

Translated from the base code of nature itself.

You and I, Cyril, we're weak.

But SHE'S female.

More than female. She's Mum. How else does life ever travel?

The MOTHER ship!

EXPLOSIONS

-What's happening??

-No idea.

Do what I do - hold tight and pretend it's a plan.

This is...amazing.

-Where are we?

-Technically, we're not anywhere.

We've flown into the time vortex. You've got what you wanted -

those idiots down there can burn your old home and you'll be safe out here.

But these people helped you, and they're in my protection.

Now help them. How do we get home?

ALIEN VOICE: Think.

Sorry, what?

She must only think.

Madge, did you hear that? You said it, but did you hear it? You've got to think.

Think...what?

Think of home, just picture it. Feel it!

You have to really feel it. Can you do that?

Your mind is controlling this vessel.

You can fly us all back for Christmas!

My head is full of trees, Caretaker. Can't YOU fly us home?

I don't have a home to think of. And, between you and me, I'm older than I look,

and I can't feel the way you do, not any more. And you really need to feel it, Madge.

Everything about home you miss, till you can't bear it, till you almost burst.

Till it hurts? Is that what you mean, Caretaker?

-Till it hurts?

-Yes.

Yes.

Well, then... home in time for Christmas!

SHE GASPS AND MOANS

What's happening? Where are we going?

Show them! Show them!

Ha! The time vortex.

Your mother is flying a forest through the time vortex.

Be a little impressed!

What are you going home for? What's pulling you there?

Please, try. Please, think.

-Reg!

-Daddy!

My Reg!

That's it. Focus on Reg. Be careful, but focus on him.

I don't know...

How did you meet? You and Reg, tell me how you met.

He followed me home.

I worked in the dairy, he always used to follow me home.

Look at Father. He looks so young!

He said he'd keep on following me till I married him!

-Didn't like to make a scene!

-Just stay focused. Think of home.

This thing, it works psychically - it'll find a signal and lock on.

No. No, please, don't show me that! Please, don't show me that!

-Is that Daddy's plane?

-Please, I don't want to see that! Please, no!

-No, no, no, Madge.

-We can't break the signal now, I'm sorry!

-Not the night he died! I don't want to see him die!

SHE SOBS

What do you mean... the night he died?

-Oh, please don't make me watch him die!

-Mummy? Is Daddy dead?

Mummy!

Sir, Anderson's in a bad way. Where are we?

I don't know. Somewhere over the Channel.

-What do I tell Anderson?

-Tell him...

Tell him... Tell him we're going home for Christmas.

Yes, sir.

I'm sorry, my love.

MADGE: Goodbye, my love. Goodbye!

SHE SOBS

GROANING

Cyril! Lily! Are you all right?

Yeah.

Are they dead?

No. They're just wood now. They've been...

..emptied.

-The forest has gone from your head too, hasn't it?

-But where is it now?

The life force of the whole forest has transmuted itself

into a sub-etheric waveband of light, which can exist as a...

The... The... The...

souls of the trees are out among the stars,

and they're shining, very happy.

And you got them there. Well done, Madge.

And where are we?

Home! Christmas morning! We've taken a bit of a short cut.

-Haven't you always wanted to do that?

-Mother?

Oh, look at you. You've been so brave. You...

Look, we're home again, see?

What did you mean, watch him die?

Where's Father? Where is he? Where's Daddy?

Why are you holding a telegram?

Well, what does it say?

Please, just tell us!

Tell us!

I imagine you'd prefer to be alone.

I don't believe anyone would prefer that.

Stay close, Caretaker.

I'll be right outside.

Lily...

Cyril...

A few nights ago, your father,

who, as you know, was the best of men and the bravest of pilots,

was flying home for Christmas.

His plane was badly damaged, and his instruments failed him.

Unfortunately, he was flying on a night where there was no moon,

and because it was very cloudy, there were no stars...

There were no stars to light his way.

-Did he get lost?

-Yes, Cyril. He got so very lost.

Um... Sorry to interrupt.

You might want to pop out here for a moment.

Caretaker, I'm talking to my children!

I know.

And before you go any further, I think you'd better come and look.

No stars to light the way, Madge?

There was one.

There was you!

What is it?

I don't know... but it's all we've got.

We can follow it!

Madge Arwell, who flew a whole forest though the time vortex...

plus one husband!

He did it again, Madge. He followed you home.

Look what you can do!

Mother Christmas!

Madge!

What am I doing here?

It's Christmas Day, my love! Where else would you be?

-Christmas Day? How?

-We took a short cut.

-Daddy!

-Daddy!

Happy crying.

Humany-wumany.

MUSIC: Silent Night

Ah...

Of course! It's you, isn't it?

My spaceman angel, with his head on backwards!

How do I look the right way round?

-Funnier.

-OK.

-So, you came back.

Well, you were there for me when I had a bad day.

Always like to return a favour.

Got a bit glitchy in the middle there, but it sort of worked out in the end.

Story of my life.

Thank you.

Oh, you did it all yourself, Madge Arwell.

But thanks for thanking me.

Now, the last time I saw you, I went back the next day,

but the police box had gone.

Yeah. You want to see how it's done?

No. I want you to stay for Christmas, please.

Ah. Well, you see, things to do, people to see.

Of course, yes. Family of your own.

Well...

-..no, actually...

-Oh! Yes, yes, you said no family.

But there must be people who love you. Friends...

No. Well, yes. But...

It's a long story...

but they all think I'm dead.

Never mind. Anyway, watch my box do its thing.

It's really cool, you'll love it.

-No, no-one should be alone at Christmas.

-I'm fine, I don't mind. I'm really very good at...

I'm talking about your friends! You can't let them think that you're dead! Not at Christmas!

-It's complicated, very complicated, it's far too complicated...

-You must tell them. At once. Off you go.

Yes, Mum. I'll think about it.

Now, eyes on the box.

Oh, Caretaker?

What if I require you again?

Make a wish!

What the hell was that?

Oh, it was just the Caretaker returning to the time vortex.

It's a lovely place. I've been there myself! Shall we go downstairs?

AMY: Ughhh! If that is more carol singers, I have a water pistol!

You don't want to be all wet on a night like this.

Not absolutely sure...

how long...

Two years?

OK.

-Fair point.

-So...

-You're not dead.

-And a happy New Year!

River told us.

-Well, of course she did.

-She's a good girl.

Well? I'm not going to hug first.

Nor am I.

THEY LAUGH

Oh!

Ohh! Mr Pond!

Guess who's coming for dinner!

Oooh! Not dead, then.

-We've done that.

-Oh.

-We're about to have Christmas dinner. Joining us?

-If it's no trouble.

-There's a place set for you.

-But you didn't know I was coming.

-Why would you set me a place?

-Oh, because we always do.

It's Christmas, you moron.

Come on.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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