The Husbands of River Song Doctor Who


The Husbands of River Song

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# Hark! The Herald Angels sing

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# "Glory to the newborn king!"

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# Peace on earth and mercy mild

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# God and sinners reconciled

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# Joyful, all ye nations, rise

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# Join the triumph of the skies... #

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HE MUTTERS TO HIMSELF

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Nothing there.

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Oh!

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This must be it.

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HE KNOCKS

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Is there anything on my head?

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-Er, well, yes.

-Describe it.

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Well, you've sort of got antlers.

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-Antlers?

-Yes, antlers.

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-Antlers!

-Hm.

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ANTLERS JINGLE

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You are a time-space machine!

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You're a vehicle!

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I've never asked you to cheer me up with hologrammatic antlers!

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Thank you.

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-Can I help you?

-Yes, are you the surgeon?

-Close enough, why?

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-Well, you know.

-I don't know.

-There's a medical emergency.

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Will there be singing?

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-No.

-Fine, then.

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-We weren't sure where you'd come down.

-Sorry?

-In your capsule.

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I'm never sure. I don't like being sure about things.

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One minute you're sure, the next everybody turns into lizards

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-and a piano falls on you.

-A piano?

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It's been a long day.

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Are you expecting a surgeon?

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So what's the medical emergency?

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Didn't you read the agreement?

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There it is.

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-What?

-There, that's it.

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That's what?

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Oh, the flying saucer.

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Is that new?

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Come on.

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Well, you took your time.

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Sorry, ma'am. This is him.

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-This is the surgeon.

-Hello.

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You don't look much like your pictures.

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That's an ongoing problem for me.

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Doesn't look very impressive, does he?

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Nardole, what HAVE you brought to my doorstep?

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-I've had a haircut, this is my best suit.

-It's not even a suit.

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-Do I know you?

-You most certainly do not.

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And now that you've met me, you'll do your very best to forget me.

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River!

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Oi! Dr Song to you.

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Sometimes Professor, but mainly Doctor.

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Don't use my name. Ever.

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-How do you know me?

-Well, it's a tiny bit complicated.

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-People usually need a flowchart.

-It doesn't matter.

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If either of you use my name again,

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I will remove your organs in alphabetical order.

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-Any questions?

-Which alphabet?

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-Sorry, you really didn't want these questions, did you?

-This way.

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We don't have a lot of time.

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-What seems to be the problem?

-My husband.

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Your husband?

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Didn't you read my message? My husband, yes.

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My husband is dying.

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Something wrong?

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I think I'm going to need a bigger flowchart.

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ECCLESIASTICAL SINGING

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Husband, I return to you.

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Where is my queen?

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Never far from you, my love.

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Aahhh.

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No, wait.

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-That's your husband?

-Listen, you are being watched

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by four billion people.

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You are surrounded by warrior monks with sentient laser swords,

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genetically engineered anger problems and not enough to do.

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Best just stay still and keep your hands by your side.

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No, wait...

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-THAT's your husband?

-My husband, your patient.

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King Hydroflax.

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Yes, that's who you're married to, not anybody else?

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My love, attend me, woman!

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I fly to you.

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Is there a problem?

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-Right, so you don't recognise me, then?

-Why would I recognise you?

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Oh, no reason.

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I don't like him. Do you like him?

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Don't cross your arms.

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He's a lying-down person.

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I don't like lying-down people. It's so untidy.

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-Keep your arms by your side, like she said.

-My one true love!

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The only husband I will ever have.

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My time with you has been too short.

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You have given me days of adventure

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and many nights of passion.

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-Oh-oh!

-Why d'you keep crossing them?

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-Because they cross, I've got cross arms.

-The end is near. I feel it.

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Forgive me, my lord. I have acted against your instructions.

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-My love?

-If you die this day, this galaxy will drown any tears.

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Look at them - your people!

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They watch and hope and pray.

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With so much at stake, I followed my heart. I disobeyed your orders...

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and sent for the finest surgeon in the galaxy!

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CHEERING

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HE CHUCKLES

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This might be an alarming question in the circumstance,

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but...you really do think I'm a surgeon, don't you?

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Oh...

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OK, calm down, keep it together.

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Don't make puddles.

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Surgeon. Attend your patient.

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Oh!

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Any tiny hint of species he might be?

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HE WHIMPERS OK, never mind, you just stay there.

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You're probably going to need a mop.

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-Bow.

-Sorry, what?

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You are in the presence of his Infinite Majesty, King Hydroflax.

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-You will bow.

-Oh, no, I'm sorry, Your Majesty, I can't do that.

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-You what?

-It's my back.

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-Your back?

-Yeah, my back's playing up.

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It simply refuses to carry the weight

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of an entirely pointless stratum of society

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who contribute nothing of worth to the world

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and crush the hopes and dreams of working people.

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Can you save me, Surgeon?

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Well, that depends upon what's wrong with you.

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-There's something in his brain.

-You could have fooled me.

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Oh, sorry.

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Sorry, just gallows humour. Probably the wrong word.

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-Yeah, I would say it is.

-My love, you must rest.

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The surgeon and I will discuss the procedure.

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Prepare, master of my life, to live anew.

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KISSING

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Patience be with you all.

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Our King will rise again!

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-ALL:

-Our King will rise again.

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Our King will rise again!

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Hydroflax! Hydroflax!

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All right, enough of this. The joke's over.

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-What joke?

-Look at me.

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Why?

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I'm the Doctor.

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You'd better be, you've got an operation to perform.

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Here's the entry wound, just below the hairline. And...

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..there's the projectile.

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It should have killed him straight off, but he's very strong.

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-That's not a bullet.

-It's a diamond.

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-How did it get in there?

-At speed.

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Do you recognise it?

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-No!

-Yes.

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-The Halassi Androvar.

-The very same.

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Hydroflax was leading the raid on the Halassi vaults.

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In the ensuing firefight, the whole thing blew up in his face,

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with the result that he now has the most valuable diamond

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in the universe lodged three inches inside his enormous head.

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So...

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..can you remove it?

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It's very small, it might be difficult to manoeuvre it.

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Not the diamond.

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His head!

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-His head?

-Yes.

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I think it would be easier just to remove the whole thing, don't you?

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-Wouldn't that kill him?

-You're the medical expert, but I'd say so, yes.

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-Your husband?

-Sort of.

-Sort of?

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I basically married the diamond.

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-The Halassi want their diamond back, so they came to me.

-Why?

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-I'm an archaeologist.

-Slash murderer slash thief.

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An archaeologist IS just a thief.

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With patience. Never had much of that.

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It'll fit in here, don't you think? I've checked it for leaks.

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-Is this what you're like when I'm not...?

-Not what?

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You're talking about murdering someone.

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No, I'm not. I'm actually murdering someone.

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Cheer up, get a saw, I'll kill the lights, you kill the patient.

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I employed you! You agreed to this.

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Do you not know who that man is?

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King Hydroflax, the butcher of the Bone Meadows,

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who ends his battles by eating his enemies, dead or alive.

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The murder of a creature like that

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wouldn't weigh heavily on my conscience, even if I had one.

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What's that face?

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Are you...thinking?

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-Stop it, you're a man, it looks weird.

-I need more information.

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-For what?

-For my diagnosis.

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He's dying. We're about to steal his head

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and scoop out his brains. Aren't we overthinking?

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I'll be the judge of that.

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I'm the Doctor.

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You know who you remind me of?

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Yes, probably a chap with a big...

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My second wife.

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Darling!

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You're up and about!

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-False wife!

-How much better you're looking!

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You plan to take my head.

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Never crossed my mind. Is this your bag?

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Perhaps you should have just asked.

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Well! I wondered why we didn't share a bathroom.

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You married a cyborg and you didn't even know it.

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I'll have you flogged and flayed and burnt.

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I will crush every last remnant of you from this universe.

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How dare you! I'm your wife.

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-You planned to murder me!

-Don't change the subject.

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Why are you doing this? Who ARE you?

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I'm Professor River Song.

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You have an ancient artefact of great value to good people,

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and whatever it takes, I'm going to bring it home to them.

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You have stolen so much from so many, King Hydroflax,

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and I'm the woman who's going to steal it all back.

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What are you?!

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I'm an archaeologist.

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Look! I've got a trowel.

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TROWEL WHIRS

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-Ha-ha-ha!

-Do not harm her!

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If you know what's good for you, do not lay a finger on that woman.

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Ignore him. Attack!

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-Garbage disposal, right? Get ready to say, "Whee!"

-Put me down.

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Back off from River Song. Give the order now.

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Get yourself under control.

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Do not attack the female.

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Nobody move, or the head gets it!

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-Do you really have a shooty trowel?

-It's sonic.

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Sonic trowel, you realise how ridiculous that sounds?

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-Their threats are empty! Destroy them!

-Negative.

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-78 percent of significant tissue damage.

-Do as you're told!

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Decision overruled. Recommendation - chill.

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Look at that, your body's got a mind of its own.

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More like an onboard computer for the cybernetic component.

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Plus in-built flash drive and vernacular friendly interface.

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-Cyber co-pilot.

-Mobile life support.

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-Sexy.

-It's not sexy.

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-Absolutely sexy.

-Why is everything sexy now?

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Speaking of which... Ramone, prep for emergency extraction, two to go.

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-'Standing by for teleport.'

-Put it in the bag.

-Sorry?

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-The head. Put it in the bag.

-Do not put me in the bag.

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Quickly, do it. Ramone, 20 seconds to jump.

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I will not be placed into a bag!

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Stop shouting a minute if you want to go face-up.

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You will be crushed! You will be destroyed!

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-You will beg my infinite mercy!

-Oh, zip it!

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Try to follow me and I'll put him in a blender.

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Ramone, now.

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They will be tracked. They will be found.

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Agh! Ohh!

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Ramone! Just once, can you get the height right?

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'Sorry, Professor.'

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-MUFFLED:

-When I escape, I will bring terror to you and your family.

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There is no escape from the...

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'I'm on it. The capsule is really close.'

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-THE DOCTOR LAUGHS

-Is something funny?

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Who dares laugh at Hydroflax?

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You shall be crushed! You shall scream in fear!

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-Let me out of this bag!

-This is a serious mission in a critical phase.

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There is nothing to laugh about here.

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We're being threatened by a bag! By a head in a bag!

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I shall make dust of you. My enemies are meat for the devouring!

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I can't approve of any of this, but I haven't laughed in a long time.

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-Good for you.

-Prepare to die in agony and submit to my supremacy!

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-SHOUTS:

-Unzip this bag!

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-You know, don't you?

-Know what?

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Stop pretending. You know who I am.

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-Who are you?

-You know who I am, it's...it's...it's me.

-Great.

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Who ARE you?

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Professor Song!

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Sorry, Professor, sorry about the height thing.

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Prove it.

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Ugh!

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Doesn't it get dull after a while?

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As an activity, it's not hugely varied, is it?

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I'm so sorry.

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This is my husband, Ramone.

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Another one?

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-Are you going to kill him, too?

-We're not actually married.

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-We are, in fact. I wiped it from your memory.

-Why?

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You were being annoying. So, the Damsel, do we have a fix?

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Found the capsule just over in the village, but I can't locate Damsel.

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-I've looked everywhere.

-Who's Damsel?

-Have you been thorough?

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It's not easy - he does have 12 faces.

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None of these men are here. Are you sure it's one of these?

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Yes! He only has these 12 faces. He'll be around here somewhere.

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This is the closest intersection with the Doctor's timeline.

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That's why I crashed Hydroflax's ship here.

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-Damsel.

-Codename - "Damsel in Distress".

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Apparently, he needs a lot of rescuing.

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What if he has a face that you don't know about yet?

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He has limits.

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Well, then, let's go find him.

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-You are in league with the former Queen.

-She employed me!

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-I didn't really know anything.

-You have information.

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Oh, hardly anything, really. A tiny bit.

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You will give this information to us.

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-Oh, absolutely! Course I will.

-We will take the information.

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Anything you like.

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-I'll even write it down for you.

-That will not be necessary.

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You will be uploaded. We apologise for the inconvenience.

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Uploaded? How?

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Recommendation...

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..hold still.

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Ooh-ooh!

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No, this is no good. I don't like this.

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-Your cooperation is appreciated.

-I never agreed!

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No, this is unfair.

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Pursuit now commences.

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This is too tall!

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I'm afraid of heights.

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Recommendation - close your eyes.

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HE WHIMPERS

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Aaargh!

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What if we can't find him? We need to get you off-world now.

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"Off-world"? People never say that. Are you new?

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We can't hang around waiting, he could be ages.

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Yes, he's probably off rebuilding a civilisation

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or defeating giant robot fish...

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-We'll just have to steal it.

-..from the ninth dimension. Sorry, what?

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The hopper is really close,

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-we'd be out of here in less than ten minutes.

-I need time travel.

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-I need this TARDIS!

-I'm sorry, the word "steal",

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-somebody said "steal".

-Yes.

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We're going to steal this box. Hush, you wouldn't understand.

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You can't.

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-Why can't I?

-You can't just steal a TA...a box.

-Why not?

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-Look, it says "Police".

-I have a key.

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OK, this Damsel person, he sounds... he sounds pretty dangerous...

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ish.

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It's a...time...machine.

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I can take it, do whatever I want for as long as I like

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and pop it back a second later, he'll never know it was gone.

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-Yes, he will.

-How?

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-He'll just know.

-Well, he's never noticed before.

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Maybe...he'll notice now.

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SHE LAUGHS

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I'll see you on Temple Beach.

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I've already picked out your swimwear.

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-OK, but be careful.

-Absolutely not.

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You, with me. Bring the head.

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Please, look after her for me.

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Oh, before you come in, you'd better prepare yourself for a shock.

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It's not as...snug as it looks.

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Finally.

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Finally?

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It's my go.

0:18:390:18:40

Oh...my...God!

0:18:430:18:49

It's bigger!

0:18:490:18:50

-Well, yes.

-On the inside!

0:18:500:18:52

-We need to concentrate.

-Than it is!

0:18:520:18:53

I know where you're going with this, but I need you to calm down.

0:18:530:18:56

-On the outside!

-You've certainly grasped the essentials.

0:18:560:18:59

My entire understanding of physical space has been transformed!

0:18:590:19:03

Three-dimensional Euclidean geometry has been torn up,

0:19:030:19:07

thrown in the air and snogged to death!

0:19:070:19:10

My grasp of the universal constants of physical reality

0:19:100:19:15

has been changed...

0:19:150:19:17

..forever.

0:19:190:19:20

Sorry.

0:19:220:19:23

I've always wanted to see that done properly.

0:19:230:19:25

Would you like a drink? Aldebaran brandy.

0:19:250:19:28

Help yourself, but don't tell Dad.

0:19:280:19:30

-BEEPING

-What's that noise?

0:19:300:19:32

It seems to have powered down, conserving batteries.

0:19:340:19:37

It's an in-built life-support system.

0:19:370:19:38

-I'm not sure what powers it, but...

-I really don't care.

0:19:380:19:41

-What's that noise?

-I don't know. A signal? Distress call?

0:19:410:19:43

-Homing beacon.

-Possibly.

-So the rest of him is coming?

0:19:430:19:46

-He must be very cross - he's lost his head.

-Time we were off then.

0:19:460:19:50

VWORP

0:19:500:19:52

JUDDERING

0:19:520:19:54

-You're doing it wrong.

-I am certainly not.

0:19:560:19:58

Not those levers.

0:20:010:20:02

Hush.

0:20:020:20:04

-You probably want to press that button.

-Why?!

0:20:060:20:08

That evacuates the waste tank on deck seven.

0:20:080:20:11

-Does it?

-What is wrong with you?

0:20:110:20:13

Better avoid deck seven then.

0:20:130:20:14

Something's interfering with the engines,

0:20:140:20:17

which is technically not possible.

0:20:170:20:18

-Maybe.

-How would you know?

0:20:180:20:20

Maybe the engines are interfering with themselves.

0:20:200:20:23

Wild theory, but what if this machine had certain safeguards.

0:20:230:20:26

For instance, maybe it can't take off when a life form registers

0:20:260:20:30

as being both inside and outside at the same time?

0:20:300:20:33

Head and body.

0:20:330:20:34

Which would mean - and again, I'm just wildly theorising here -

0:20:340:20:40

that's the door would not engage properly.

0:20:400:20:43

Of course. It can't seal the real-time envelope.

0:20:430:20:46

Hence it can't take off.

0:20:460:20:49

Not when someone is in and out at the same time.

0:20:490:20:53

-I mean, that just wouldn't be good manners, would it?

-You're very quick.

0:20:530:20:57

Yes.

0:20:570:20:58

For a Doctor.

0:20:580:21:00

Yes.

0:21:000:21:02

Seriously?

0:21:030:21:04

Hello?

0:21:090:21:10

Hello, is that you?

0:21:100:21:13

-Nardole, is that you?

-It's me, yes.

0:21:140:21:16

-Please, you've got to help me.

-What's wrong? Where are you?

0:21:180:21:22

In the alleyway. Can't you see me? Come a bit closer.

0:21:230:21:27

-What are you doing there?

-Help me.

0:21:270:21:29

Are you injured?

0:21:310:21:32

Well, er...yes.

0:21:320:21:35

Sorry. So sorry. It made me!

0:21:380:21:42

-Nardole, why are you pointing a gun at your own head?

-It's not my head!

0:21:420:21:46

-Well, it is my head, but it's not my gun.

-What happened to you?

-Please.

0:21:460:21:51

Just do as it says.

0:21:520:21:53

THE DOCTOR: It's signalling.

0:21:530:21:55

-We have to assume the body is homing in on this.

-So, how do we stop it?

0:21:550:21:59

Well, we could chop his head off.

0:21:590:22:01

-Oh, look...

-Does sarcasm help?

0:22:010:22:02

-Wouldn't it be a great universe if it did?

-So, summing up,

0:22:020:22:05

it's coming, we can't take off,

0:22:050:22:06

-we can't seal the doors.

-Yep.

0:22:060:22:08

So...we just kill the head, right?

0:22:080:22:11

-You can't shoot the head in the face!

-Why not?

0:22:110:22:14

Aaarrgh!

0:22:140:22:16

Go on, then, tell him to put his hands up.

0:22:170:22:19

-Do not fire if you value your lives.

-Why, what are you going to do?

0:22:190:22:22

Kill me, and my body will burn.

0:22:220:22:25

-Burn what?

-This world!

0:22:250:22:29

Inquiry - are you acquainted with the criminal River Song?

0:22:290:22:32

That wasn't me, that was him!

0:22:320:22:34

Repeat, are you acquainted with the criminal River Song?

0:22:340:22:37

Please, just answer it.

0:22:370:22:39

Yes.

0:22:390:22:41

You will take River Song a message.

0:22:410:22:44

What message?

0:22:450:22:46

-RIVER:

-Suppose we believe you - how?

0:22:460:22:48

My body contains a split quantum actualiser.

0:22:480:22:51

A perpetually stabilised black hole - that's your power source.

0:22:510:22:53

What sort of medical school did you go to?

0:22:530:22:55

-A really good one for doctors.

-More than a power source.

0:22:550:22:58

-If necessary, a bomb.

-So you could wipe out this solar system.

0:22:580:23:01

-It wouldn't be the first.

-It would be your last.

0:23:010:23:03

-A fitting end for the glory of Hydroflax.

-So, why haven't you threatened this before?

0:23:030:23:07

A king does not endanger his people for no reason.

0:23:070:23:09

-You're endangering them now.

-I'm cross.

0:23:090:23:11

-BANGING

-Dr Song, are you there?

0:23:110:23:14

-I have a message for you.

-Ramone! Get in here!

0:23:140:23:17

-Ahh!

-You're going to die!

0:23:190:23:22

-Kill her.

-No!

-Put her down.

0:23:280:23:31

Kill her now!

0:23:310:23:32

Death initiating.

0:23:320:23:33

I'm so sorry!

0:23:330:23:35

VWORP! VWORP!

0:23:390:23:40

I'm sorry!

0:23:400:23:42

Stop them! Stop them!

0:23:420:23:44

-Where are we going?

-Get the hell out!

0:23:460:23:49

-Stop them!

-Death initiating.

0:23:490:23:51

-You set the coordinates - where for?

-Just get the damn head!

0:23:510:23:55

Kill them! Destroy them!

0:23:560:23:59

-Kill them!

-Here.

0:24:020:24:04

With me.

0:24:060:24:07

-Where are we?

-This way, come on.

-What about the box?

0:24:080:24:11

Stop holding my hand, people don't do that to me.

0:24:110:24:14

-Hush.

-Don't hush me.

0:24:140:24:15

I'm not a hushing person.

0:24:150:24:18

BURBLING

0:24:210:24:23

-TANNOY:

-'We are currently cruising at warp factor 12.'

0:24:290:24:33

'Traversing the fourth galaxy of our seven-galaxy cruise.'

0:24:350:24:39

'Next is the Andromeda galaxy.'

0:24:400:24:42

'Supernova approaching now to starboard.'

0:24:490:24:53

Ah, Dr Song.

0:24:560:24:58

Your table is ready.

0:24:580:25:00

Flemming! How are the twins?

0:25:000:25:03

Still digesting their mother, thank you for asking.

0:25:030:25:05

-I'm sure it was a lovely ceremony.

-Oh, there were tears.

0:25:050:25:08

And just a hint of screaming.

0:25:080:25:10

THEY LAUGH

0:25:100:25:12

Er, Flemming, I wonder,

0:25:120:25:15

could you deadlock seal the baggage hold for me?

0:25:150:25:18

It's a little irregular. The other passengers might want access.

0:25:180:25:22

Do you remember that time I was transporting dragon eggs?

0:25:220:25:25

Consider it done.

0:25:250:25:27

BLEEPING, LOCKS ENGAGING

0:25:270:25:29

Is the gentleman here for dinner?

0:25:290:25:32

-Yes, he is.

-Excellent!

0:25:320:25:33

-I'll have the chef prepare him immediately.

-No, you won't.

0:25:330:25:36

He will in fact be joining me to eat.

0:25:360:25:39

I was about to suggest that force-feeding might be required.

0:25:390:25:43

This way. Oh, may I take your bag?

0:25:430:25:46

Oh, no, that's fine, Thanks.

0:25:460:25:47

MUFFLED RANTING

0:25:470:25:50

Sorry. It was my stomach.

0:25:510:25:54

MUFFLED SHOUTING I have an irritable bowel.

0:25:560:25:58

My revenge will be merciless!

0:25:580:26:00

-I will rip you open and devour you!

-It's having a day.

0:26:000:26:03

You cannot escape!

0:26:030:26:05

-This way.

-Your actions will not go unpunished!

0:26:070:26:10

Here.

0:26:100:26:12

-Ow!

-I don't suppose you mind if I freshen up.

0:26:120:26:15

-Not bad for 200, eh?

-200?

0:26:170:26:21

I have an augmented lifespan. Long story.

0:26:210:26:24

-So, what's the occasion?

-I've got the diamond, now it's time to sell it.

0:26:240:26:28

I thought you were returning it to the Halassi?

0:26:280:26:30

Tell me, were you born boring, or did you have to work at it?

0:26:300:26:33

Where did you find a buyer?

0:26:330:26:34

Look around you.

0:26:340:26:36

The starship Harmony And Redemption,

0:26:360:26:38

minimum ticket price one billion credits,

0:26:380:26:40

plus the provable murder of multiple innocent life forms.

0:26:400:26:43

Suites are reserved for planet-burners.

0:26:430:26:46

Thank you.

0:26:460:26:47

Even the staff are required to have a verifiable history

0:26:470:26:51

of indiscriminate slaughter.

0:26:510:26:52

This is where genocide comes to kick back and relax.

0:26:520:26:56

Do try the fish.

0:26:560:26:58

BANGING

0:26:590:27:03

Mr Flemming, there's an issue.

0:27:060:27:08

Why are you frowning?

0:27:190:27:21

How did you know?

0:27:220:27:24

It's audible.

0:27:240:27:25

Deadlock seals can be broken.

0:27:250:27:28

By geniuses.

0:27:280:27:29

Hydroflax has a brain the size of a pea

0:27:290:27:32

and it's currently under the table.

0:27:320:27:34

He's gone back to sleep, I think.

0:27:340:27:36

-You married him, though.

-I told you, I married the diamond.

0:27:360:27:39

-How?

-I posed as his nurse.

0:27:390:27:41

-Took me a week.

-To fall in love?

0:27:410:27:43

It's the easiest lie you can tell a man.

0:27:430:27:46

They'll automatically believe any story they're the hero of.

0:27:460:27:50

River, there's, er...

0:27:550:27:57

there's something I should probably tell you.

0:27:570:28:00

Dr Song, your guest has docked,

0:28:000:28:03

he should be with you in a very few minutes.

0:28:030:28:05

-Thank you. Whenever he's ready.

-Of course.

0:28:050:28:07

What's the book?

0:28:070:28:09

Oh, it's my diary.

0:28:100:28:12

One should always have something sensational to read on a spaceship.

0:28:120:28:16

Is it sad?

0:28:160:28:17

-Why would a diary be sad?

-I don't know, it's just that...

0:28:200:28:23

you look sad.

0:28:230:28:25

It's nearly full.

0:28:300:28:31

So?

0:28:310:28:32

The man who gave me this was the sort of man who'd know

0:28:360:28:39

exactly how long a diary you were going to need.

0:28:390:28:43

He sounds awful.

0:28:490:28:50

I suppose he is. I've never really thought about it.

0:28:500:28:54

Not somebody special then?

0:28:540:28:56

No.

0:28:590:29:00

But terribly useful every now and then.

0:29:020:29:04

Please! I just need you to get me out of here.

0:29:090:29:11

He's in the main hold, sir, but you've deadlocked it.

0:29:110:29:14

If you don't mind be observing, sir, you do seem a little nervous.

0:29:140:29:17

Is someone threatening you?

0:29:170:29:20

I'm the only one here.

0:29:200:29:21

-Confirmed, sir, there's only one reading in the hold.

-I'm on my way.

0:29:210:29:25

-Be careful, sir.

-Don't worry, I'll just stick my head round the door.

0:29:250:29:29

-So who is this buyer?

-No idea, he just responded to the advert.

0:29:310:29:36

-Which of you is Song?

-Who wants to know?

0:29:410:29:44

I am Scratch.

0:29:440:29:46

Don't need your name. Are you empowered to purchase?

0:29:460:29:48

I represent the Shoal of the Winter Harmony.

0:29:480:29:51

Don't care, don't want to know. I'll need immediate payment.

0:29:510:29:54

-Can you do that?

-And could you either sit down

0:29:540:29:55

or fetch us the wine list or something?

0:29:550:29:57

-You have the diamond?

-Of course I have the diamond.

0:30:030:30:06

Show me the money.

0:30:060:30:07

SQUELCHING

0:30:180:30:21

Just a thought, you probably shouldn't do that in a restaurant.

0:30:240:30:27

Once instructed, this will transfer the necessary funds

0:30:420:30:46

-to whatever account you choose.

-Thank you.

0:30:460:30:48

The diamond.

0:30:480:30:50

You're going to have to dig for it a bit,

0:30:500:30:52

but somehow I don't think that's going to be a problem for you.

0:30:520:30:55

-Is this a deception?

-No. The diamond is in there.

0:30:550:30:58

This is a public place, there won't be any tricks.

0:30:580:31:01

This is not a public place.

0:31:010:31:03

-Block booking, that's clever.

-You needn't have bothered.

0:31:110:31:15

I've brought what you want.

0:31:150:31:16

Please do assume that I have also taken precautions,

0:31:160:31:18

and don't do anything that might make me cross and kill you.

0:31:180:31:21

Statement accepted.

0:31:210:31:23

The diamond is here?

0:31:230:31:25

HISSING

0:31:250:31:28

The payment, then.

0:31:280:31:29

100 billion credits. As we agreed.

0:31:300:31:35

-This accesses all the banks in the galaxy.

-Thank you.

0:31:350:31:38

Here you go, then.

0:31:380:31:40

You may need to use a spoon or knitting needle or something.

0:31:400:31:44

-Be it known, we do not do this for ourselves.

-I really don't care.

0:31:440:31:48

We do it in honour of our distant and loving King,

0:31:480:31:51

who once visited our world in blood and joy.

0:31:510:31:55

Well, isn't that lovely?

0:31:550:31:56

We honour thee, we prostrate ourselves in your name...

0:31:560:32:00

Hydroflax.

0:32:000:32:02

-ALL CHANTING:

-Hydroflax!

0:32:020:32:03

For love of thee, we do this thing today. Hydroflax.

0:32:030:32:08

Hydroflax!

0:32:080:32:10

Hydroflax! Hydroflax!

0:32:100:32:13

Hydroflax!

0:32:130:32:15

Give it. Give us the treasure.

0:32:150:32:18

Hydroflax! Hydroflax! Hydroflax!

0:32:180:32:22

What is wrong?

0:32:220:32:24

Er...well, er...

0:32:240:32:26

awkward.

0:32:260:32:27

-I beg of you, not my head!

-Information is required.

0:32:300:32:34

You know of River Song, wife of Hydroflax?

0:32:340:32:36

I do. I know River Song of old.

0:32:370:32:40

And if you spare me, I'll tell you who she's really married to.

0:32:400:32:46

-Explain.

-You need a head.

0:32:460:32:48

I can get you a head... fit for a king.

0:32:480:32:51

Why do you delay? We have paid, we will receive.

0:32:510:32:55

Yes, you will.

0:32:560:32:58

Of...by jingo, you will, yes, of course.

0:32:580:33:00

-But obviously, we have to, you know, er, check some...

-Things.

0:33:000:33:05

Things. There are things that have to be checked before I get it to you.

0:33:050:33:09

If we don't check the thing, then...

0:33:090:33:11

We will receive!

0:33:110:33:12

Yes, you will receive, and here it is.

0:33:120:33:15

Now, on its way.

0:33:150:33:18

-This small distance.

-We will receive!

0:33:180:33:21

Here you go.

0:33:210:33:22

And you can have the bag as well.

0:33:220:33:25

You know, it's been...lovely.

0:33:250:33:28

But we don't want to intrude on this special moment,

0:33:280:33:32

so why don't we just leave you with the new baby...?

0:33:320:33:35

You will remain.

0:33:350:33:37

Is that strictly necessary?

0:33:370:33:39

I do not like...surprises.

0:33:390:33:42

Well, it's going to be a funny old day.

0:33:450:33:47

Oh, boy.

0:33:490:33:51

You know what? I just can't stand idly by and let this continue.

0:33:520:33:55

Death has been done this day!

0:33:550:33:58

Noble blood has been spilled.

0:33:590:34:02

And our tears will surely follow.

0:34:020:34:05

The sky shall crack,

0:34:050:34:08

the ground shall heave,

0:34:080:34:11

and even the rocks and the stones

0:34:110:34:15

shall weep their rage.

0:34:150:34:18

Behold!

0:34:180:34:20

The head of Hydroflax!

0:34:200:34:23

Rest now, sweet prince.

0:34:270:34:30

Walk amongst us nevermore.

0:34:300:34:34

Shall we start the bidding at 200 billion?

0:34:360:34:38

I'm sorry, Professor Song,

0:34:380:34:40

but we really couldn't keep this treasure from the truly devout.

0:34:400:34:43

My apologies to the truly devout.

0:34:430:34:46

-Shall we find out who is the most truly devout?

-This is heresy!

0:34:460:34:49

-200 over there.

-250 million by the sweet trolley.

0:34:490:34:52

Silence! This is not our way.

0:34:520:34:54

It doesn't say much for your king if you can't put a price on his head.

0:34:540:34:57

Let us see what the king himself has to say.

0:34:570:35:00

Aaargh!

0:35:000:35:03

Quick!

0:35:050:35:06

Professor Song! Has the food disappointed you?

0:35:070:35:10

THUDDING

0:35:100:35:13

PANICKED SCREAMS

0:35:130:35:16

At last, I am whole again.

0:35:170:35:20

Come to me, my body.

0:35:220:35:25

Well? Put me back.

0:35:330:35:35

Scan in progress.

0:35:350:35:37

You don't need to scan me, just put me back.

0:35:370:35:40

Tissue deterioration now irreversible.

0:35:400:35:43

What are you going to do about that?

0:35:430:35:45

Additional, the projectile inside your brain continues to move.

0:35:450:35:48

Prognosis - death in seven minutes.

0:35:480:35:51

Well, I refuse.

0:35:510:35:52

King Hydroflax does not accept death.

0:35:520:35:55

Orders requested.

0:35:550:35:57

Whatever I need to survive, do it. Now.

0:35:570:36:00

-Orders accepted. You need a new head.

-No!

0:36:000:36:03

No. Not a new head!

0:36:030:36:06

Orders implementing.

0:36:060:36:08

No. No...!

0:36:080:36:10

I don't suppose you could fetch that over for me, could you?

0:36:170:36:21

As I was saying, Your Majesty.

0:36:240:36:27

Well, your remaining Majesty.

0:36:270:36:29

If it's a new head you're after, this is the guide to the very best.

0:36:320:36:36

-Don't touch that. Give that back to me.

-The diary of River Song.

0:36:360:36:40

The ultimate guide to the Time Lord known as the Doctor.

0:36:400:36:43

Don't you dare touch that!

0:36:430:36:45

Long live the King.

0:36:460:36:49

"The Pandorica Opens."

0:36:510:36:53

Ooh, that sounds exciting.

0:36:530:36:54

And goodness me, a picnic at Asgard.

0:36:550:36:58

Some people really know how to snack, don't they?

0:36:580:37:01

You should know, I have a significant history of escaping.

0:37:010:37:04

"The Crash of the Byzantium." Didn't they make a movie of that?

0:37:040:37:07

And when I do, I'm going to kill you.

0:37:070:37:10

Oh, Jim the Fish! Well, we all know Jim the Fish.

0:37:100:37:14

And the longer you spend reading my diary,

0:37:140:37:17

the longer I'm going to take.

0:37:170:37:18

And you've just been to Manhattan.

0:37:180:37:21

What planet is that?

0:37:220:37:24

So do, please, keep going.

0:37:240:37:26

This is irrelevant.

0:37:270:37:28

If I may intrude, Your Majesty.

0:37:280:37:31

The Doctor is a legendary being of remarkable power

0:37:310:37:34

and an infinite number of faces.

0:37:340:37:37

His head, I assure you, would be your crowning achievement.

0:37:370:37:41

-TAPPING

-Besides which, many of us on this ship would be

0:37:410:37:45

happy to see his career cut off, as it were, at the neck.

0:37:450:37:50

Proceed faster, or YOUR head will be taken!

0:37:500:37:53

I would give my head with gladness.

0:37:530:37:55

This woman is the known consort of the Doctor.

0:37:550:37:58

Confirmation required. Uploading.

0:37:580:38:01

Ooh. Ooh!

0:38:030:38:06

Is River Song the consort of the Time Lord known as the Doctor?

0:38:060:38:10

Huh?

0:38:100:38:11

I think so, yeah.

0:38:110:38:13

Here, can I stay up for a bit? It's really very whiffy down there.

0:38:130:38:17

Aww!

0:38:170:38:19

Oh, it's awful!

0:38:190:38:21

So, where is the Doctor now?

0:38:210:38:25

I haven't the faintest idea.

0:38:260:38:28

-Is that credible?

-It's true.

0:38:280:38:31

-You're the woman he loves.

-No, I'm not.

-She's lying.

0:38:310:38:35

The Doctor does not and has never loved me. I'm not lying.

0:38:350:38:39

-Confirmed. The life form is not lying.

-Impossible. This is a trick.

0:38:420:38:47

-No, it isn't.

-My information is correct.

0:38:470:38:50

You are the woman who loves the Doctor.

0:38:500:38:53

Yes, I am. I've never denied it.

0:38:530:38:54

But whoever said he loved me back?

0:38:540:38:57

He's the Doctor, he doesn't go around falling in love with people.

0:38:570:39:02

And if you think he's anything that small or that ordinary,

0:39:020:39:06

then you haven't the first idea of what you're dealing with.

0:39:060:39:09

Your Majesty, I assure you, she is the perfect bait.

0:39:110:39:14

When this woman is in danger, the Doctor will always come.

0:39:140:39:17

Oh, you are a moron. No, he won't.

0:39:170:39:20

-He's probably already here.

-No, he isn't, of course he isn't!

0:39:200:39:23

-Possibly on this ship.

-Well, go on, scan it then.

0:39:230:39:26

Go on, why don't you?

0:39:260:39:27

-River...

-Two hearts, stupid clothes, you can't miss him.

0:39:270:39:30

-River!

-Go on, scan the whole parsec! He's not here.

0:39:300:39:35

God knows where he is right now, but I promise you, he's doing

0:39:350:39:38

whatever the hell he wants and not giving a damn about me!

0:39:380:39:41

And I'm just fine with that.

0:39:410:39:43

-River...

-When you love the Doctor,

0:39:430:39:45

it's like loving the stars themselves.

0:39:450:39:47

You don't expect a sunset to admire you back.

0:39:470:39:50

And if I happen to find myself in danger, let me tell you,

0:39:500:39:53

the Doctor is not stupid enough, or sentimental enough,

0:39:530:39:57

and he is certainly not in love enough

0:39:570:40:00

to find himself standing in it with me!

0:40:000:40:03

Hello, sweetie.

0:40:150:40:16

-You are so doing those roots.

-What, the roots of the sunset?

0:40:220:40:27

-Don't you dare!

-I'll have to check with the stars themselves.

0:40:270:40:31

Shut up! I was just keeping them talking till it kicks off.

0:40:310:40:34

-What is this conversation? Explain.

-You keep out of this.

0:40:340:40:37

-We need to get to work.

-OK, what have you got?

0:40:370:40:39

Four exits, two concealed, one in the ceiling.

0:40:390:40:41

-There's also one in the floor.

-No, I don't like it.

0:40:410:40:43

-Too close to the engine ducts?

-A bit too tight.

0:40:430:40:45

I hope you're not being personal.

0:40:450:40:46

Excuse me, what are you talking about?

0:40:460:40:48

Hush, Mummy and Daddy are busy.

0:40:480:40:50

-BELL RINGS

-There we are.

0:40:500:40:52

-Two o'clock, here we go.

-Cease this conversation.

0:40:520:40:55

Darling, in the event of a sudden meteor strike on the lower

0:40:550:40:57

starboard decks, where would you say is the safest place to stand?

0:40:570:41:00

-Meteor strikes?

-Exactly here, I should think.

0:41:000:41:02

-D'you know what that isn't? A coincidence.

-Your escape plan.

0:41:020:41:05

-It's cheaper than a taxi.

-What meteor strike?

0:41:050:41:08

-TANNOY:

-'Alert. Meteor storm imminent.'

0:41:080:41:11

-That meteor strike.

-How could you know?

0:41:110:41:14

I'm an archaeologist from the future.

0:41:140:41:17

I dug you up.

0:41:170:41:18

See you in 400 years.

0:41:220:41:24

SCREAMING

0:41:270:41:29

I had this book. History's Finest Exploding Restaurants.

0:41:320:41:35

The best food for free. Skip the coffee.

0:41:350:41:37

-What do you think, by the way?

-Of what?

-My new body.

0:41:370:41:40

I'll let you know. I've only seen the face.

0:41:400:41:42

How have you got a new one, by the way? Aren't there rules?

0:41:420:41:45

-A thing happened.

-I bet it probably did.

0:41:450:41:47

'Starboard decks compromised. Please abandon ship.'

0:41:490:41:54

The diamond?

0:41:540:41:55

-Good, aren't I?

-I'm not sure good's the word.

-Better not be.

0:41:550:41:59

-We need to get this ship stabilised. Where's the bridge?

-This way.

0:42:000:42:04

'Please abandon ship.'

0:42:040:42:05

'Please abandon ship.'

0:42:080:42:10

-We also need to stop that.

-Toss for it.

0:42:100:42:12

-I'll take the robot, you drive.

-OK.

0:42:120:42:16

-Oh, don't stop for strangers.

-Look who's talking.

0:42:160:42:19

-What's the point? It's over.

-I will take your head.

0:42:240:42:27

What for? We're on a crashing spaceship and I don't even know

0:42:270:42:30

if I can save it. You just shot your own king in your own face.

0:42:300:42:34

-You'd get beheaded if you had one.

-I will take yours.

0:42:340:42:37

King Hydroflax will live again.

0:42:370:42:39

Do you know what you need?

0:42:460:42:48

Do you know what any decent headless king needs? Money.

0:42:480:42:51

This connects every bank to every other bank in this galaxy.

0:42:510:42:55

Right here in my hand. All the money you can eat.

0:42:550:42:59

Demonstrate.

0:42:590:43:00

With pleasure.

0:43:010:43:03

Welcome to all the best firewalls in the galaxy.

0:43:090:43:12

Nothing is protected like money.

0:43:120:43:14

Every stock market within a light year is arguing in your head.

0:43:140:43:17

I do not understand.

0:43:170:43:19

Ha-ha! That's the way it is for most people.

0:43:190:43:22

Do not understand. Do not understand.

0:43:220:43:24

-He had a bad day on the market.

-Do not understand.

0:43:260:43:29

Do not understand.

0:43:290:43:31

Sorry, I appreciate that wasn't very funny, but I couldn't help saying it.

0:43:310:43:36

Do not understand. Do not under...

0:43:360:43:39

-TANNOY:

-'Surface impact in two minutes.'

0:43:400:43:43

Where's everyone else?

0:43:430:43:45

-They ran for it. So should we.

-We need to get the nav com back online.

0:43:450:43:48

-And re-route the thrusters.

-I'm trying.

0:43:480:43:51

-So, King Hydroflax?

-Oh, how many times? I married the diamond.

0:43:520:43:57

-So you say.

-Elizabeth I.

-Ramone.

-Marilyn Monroe.

-Stephen Fry.

0:43:570:44:02

-Cleopatra!

-Same thing.

0:44:020:44:04

Hang on a minute.

0:44:070:44:09

-I recognise that planet.

-Well, that's nice!

0:44:090:44:11

Maybe they'll name the crater after us(!)

0:44:110:44:14

That's Darillium!

0:44:160:44:17

Always good to know where we're going.

0:44:200:44:22

-Could you concentrate on your work, please?

-You know...

0:44:220:44:24

the Singing Towers.

0:44:240:44:25

Yes, I'll be sure to give them a wave as we zoom past.

0:44:250:44:28

You always say you're going to take me there for dinner

0:44:280:44:30

and then you always cancel at the last minute.

0:44:300:44:32

-I'd quite like to cancel this time too, if at all possible.

-Argh!

0:44:320:44:35

THEY GROAN

0:44:360:44:38

SONIC SCREWDRIVER WHIRS

0:44:380:44:40

What are you doing? That's the internal teleport.

0:44:400:44:42

Yes. HE COUGHS

0:44:420:44:43

-I can use the power cell to push the thrusters.

-Really? How?

0:44:430:44:47

Hold this, quickly.

0:44:470:44:49

Well, I don't see what good this will do.

0:44:500:44:52

Sorry, River.

0:44:520:44:53

-Crashing spaceships, that's my job.

-You...

0:44:550:44:58

No, you don't!

0:45:010:45:02

VWORP!

0:45:050:45:06

More power! You can do it, you can do it.

0:45:060:45:09

VWORP!

0:45:090:45:10

No, River, no, no, no, no!

0:45:100:45:14

-Get back in the TARDIS! This is my job!

-This is MY job!

0:45:190:45:22

-I've been doing it longer.

-I do it better.

0:45:220:45:24

River, not one person on this ship, not one living thing,

0:45:240:45:27

-is worth you.

-Or you.

0:45:270:45:29

-COMPUTER:

-'Surface impact in ten, nine, eight...'

0:45:300:45:34

-Teensy bit close.

-Yeah, sort of.

0:45:340:45:36

-Darling, shall we pop back indoors?

-Yeah, good idea.

0:45:360:45:38

'..four, three, two, one.'

0:45:380:45:41

THEY GASP

0:45:420:45:43

Indestructible as ever.

0:46:070:46:08

Married the diamond(!)

0:46:160:46:18

BEEPING

0:46:440:46:45

CLANK!

0:46:470:46:48

METALLIC THRUMMING

0:46:480:46:49

CLANK!

0:46:490:46:50

THRUMMING STOPS

0:46:500:46:51

Hello? Sir...

0:47:080:47:09

-..the ship, it came down, did you see it?

-Yes, I did.

0:47:120:47:16

I've been searching for survivors.

0:47:160:47:18

I doubt if you'd find any. And I don't think any of them

0:47:180:47:20

would be worth it, if that's a comfort.

0:47:200:47:23

Brave of you to try, though. Well done.

0:47:230:47:25

Thank you, sir.

0:47:260:47:27

Those are the Singing Towers, aren't they?

0:47:310:47:34

Yes, sir, but it's just the wind.

0:47:340:47:36

The Singing Towers of Darillium.

0:47:360:47:38

-Here we are at last.

-Sir?

0:47:390:47:42

You know what?

0:47:440:47:45

They should build a restaurant right here, with a view of those towers.

0:47:450:47:48

You could make a lot of money that way. You should do that.

0:47:480:47:51

HE CHUCKLES

0:47:510:47:52

You'd need a lot of money to begin with, sir.

0:47:520:47:55

The Halassi Androvar...

0:47:550:47:56

I think you'll find that the reward is pretty substantial.

0:47:560:48:00

-Why would you give me this, sir?

-(Restaurant!)

0:48:070:48:11

CLANK!

0:48:180:48:19

VWORP! VWORP!

0:48:190:48:21

Excuse me, um, I'd like a table on the balcony

0:48:300:48:33

-with a view of the towers.

-I'm sorry, sir,

0:48:330:48:35

the first available slot I have is Christmas Day in four years' time.

0:48:350:48:39

Not a problem.

0:48:390:48:40

COMPUTER BEEPS

0:48:420:48:44

CUTLERY CLINKS

0:48:480:48:49

-Professor Song! The Doctor is waiting for you on the balcony.

-Oh.

0:48:520:48:57

-Excellent.

-This way, ma'am.

0:48:590:49:01

-Do we have a good table?

-The finest in all the galaxy, ma'am.

0:49:020:49:06

Ah.

0:49:070:49:08

Er, one moment.

0:49:080:49:10

WHIRRING

0:49:150:49:17

-Ramone?

-Professor Song. The Doctor will be with you in a moment.

0:49:190:49:23

-What are you doing here?

-They pulled us from the wreckage, ma'am.

0:49:230:49:27

Fixed us up. I've been working here ever since.

0:49:270:49:30

Don't worry.

0:49:310:49:33

The nasty part's all gone - got deleted in the merger.

0:49:330:49:36

-What about Nardole?

-Oh, merry Christmas, ma'am.

0:49:360:49:39

Yeah, good to see you again.

0:49:390:49:41

-Merry Christmas, Nardole!

-Sorry I'm off duty.

0:49:410:49:45

I'm just having some me time.

0:49:450:49:46

-I imagine that must be quite a challenge.

-Yes, ma'am.

0:49:460:49:51

HE CHUCKLES

0:49:510:49:52

So, Ramone...

0:49:520:49:54

..you have a metal body now.

0:49:560:49:58

Down, girl!

0:49:580:49:59

-Now, that, my dear, IS a suit.

-Happy Christmas.

0:50:020:50:06

Really?

0:50:070:50:08

I don't think you've ever given me a present before.

0:50:090:50:12

SHE GASPS

0:50:160:50:18

It's a sonic screwdriver! How lovely!

0:50:180:50:20

When I saw the sonic trowel,

0:50:200:50:22

I thought it was just embarrassing, but, look.

0:50:220:50:24

SCREWDRIVER WHIRS

0:50:240:50:25

Oh, thank you.

0:50:270:50:28

You look, er, amazing.

0:50:320:50:34

Doctor, you have no idea whether I look amazing or not.

0:50:340:50:38

-Well, you've moved your hair about, haven't you?

-Well done.

0:50:380:50:41

-It's very sweet of you to try.

-So what do you think?

0:50:410:50:44

HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYS

0:50:460:50:47

The Singing Towers.

0:50:480:50:50

GENTLE MUSIC PLAYS

0:50:500:50:52

The music.

0:51:060:51:07

Listen to it.

0:51:180:51:19

Are you crying?

0:51:230:51:25

No.

0:51:260:51:27

Just the wind.

0:51:270:51:28

Nothing's ever just the wind.

0:51:300:51:31

No?

0:51:320:51:33

It blows through the cave system

0:51:350:51:37

and harmonises with the crystal layer.

0:51:370:51:40

Why are you sad?

0:51:410:51:42

Why are YOU sad?

0:51:440:51:45

I told you, my diary's nearly full.

0:51:470:51:49

I worry.

0:51:490:51:50

Please don't.

0:51:520:51:53

-There are stories about us, you know.

-Oh, I dread to think.

0:51:580:52:02

-I look them up sometimes.

-You really shouldn't do that.

0:52:020:52:05

Some of them suggest that...

0:52:050:52:07

..the very last night we spend together

0:52:090:52:11

is at the Singing Towers of Darillium.

0:52:110:52:13

That wouldn't be true, would it?

0:52:160:52:18

Spoilers.

0:52:210:52:22

SHE GASPS

0:52:240:52:25

Well, that would explain why you kept cancelling coming here.

0:52:260:52:30

-Do you remember that time...

-River, stop.

-..when there were two of you...

0:52:300:52:33

-Don't.

-..because I want you to know that if this is the last night,

0:52:330:52:36

I expect you to find a way round it.

0:52:360:52:37

Not everything can be avoided.

0:52:370:52:39

Not forever.

0:52:410:52:42

But you're you.

0:52:430:52:45

There's always a loophole, you wait until the last minute

0:52:470:52:49

-and then you spring it on me.

-Every night is the last night

0:52:490:52:52

-for something, every Christmas is the last Christmas...

-But you will.

0:52:520:52:55

You'll wait until I've given up hope, all will be lost,

0:52:550:52:57

and you'll do that smug little smile

0:52:570:52:59

and then you'll save the day - you always do.

0:52:590:53:02

No, I don't, not always.

0:53:020:53:03

Times end, River, because they have to.

0:53:060:53:08

Because there's no such thing as happy ever after.

0:53:080:53:11

It's just a lie we tell ourselves because the truth is so hard.

0:53:110:53:14

No, Doctor...

0:53:150:53:16

..you're wrong.

0:53:180:53:19

Happy ever after doesn't mean forever.

0:53:200:53:23

It just means time...

0:53:240:53:27

..a little time.

0:53:280:53:30

But that's not the sort of thing you could ever understand, is it?

0:53:330:53:36

Mmm.

0:53:380:53:39

-What do you think of the towers?

-I love them.

0:53:410:53:45

-Then why are you ignoring them?

-They're ignoring me.

0:53:470:53:50

But then...you can't expect a monolith to love you back.

0:53:510:53:55

No, you can't.

0:53:550:53:57

They've been there for millions of years,

0:54:000:54:02

through storms and floods and wars and...time.

0:54:020:54:06

Nobody really understands where the music comes from.

0:54:060:54:09

It's probably something to do with the precise positions,

0:54:090:54:12

the distance between both towers.

0:54:120:54:14

Even the locals aren't sure.

0:54:140:54:16

All anyone will ever tell you is

0:54:160:54:18

that when the wind stands fair and the night is perfect...

0:54:180:54:21

..when you least expect it...

0:54:220:54:24

..but always...

0:54:260:54:27

..when you need it the most...

0:54:290:54:30

HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYS

0:54:300:54:32

..there is a song.

0:54:370:54:39

MUSIC CONTINUES

0:54:400:54:42

So...

0:54:470:54:48

..assuming tonight is all we have left...

0:54:500:54:53

-I didn't say that.

-..how long...

0:54:530:54:55

..is a night on Darillium?

0:54:570:55:00

24 years.

0:55:030:55:04

SHE GASPS

0:55:060:55:07

I hate you.

0:55:120:55:14

No, you don't.

0:55:170:55:18

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