Knock Knock Doctor Who


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Knock Knock

Why do floorboards creak? When a sinister landlord shows Bill and her friends the perfect houseshare, they have no idea what lies ahead... knock knock, who's there?


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Transcript


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MUSIC: Weird People by Little Mix

0:00:020:00:05

-So...Felicity...

-Hi.

-Harry, Pavel...

-Hi.

-Paul.

0:00:050:00:09

Everyone, this is Bill, your new housemate. Be nice!

0:00:090:00:13

ALL LAUGH

0:00:130:00:15

Six bedrooms?

0:00:160:00:17

I've got audio equipment. so some extra space would be good.

0:00:170:00:21

I'd quite like underfloor heating.

0:00:210:00:23

-This is bedroom five...

-It hasn't got a door...?

0:00:300:00:33

..and bedroom six is through there.

0:00:330:00:36

As you can see,

0:00:380:00:40

this offers more space.

0:00:400:00:43

LOUD RUMBLING

0:00:470:00:49

ALARM BLARES

0:00:490:00:52

What do other people do?

0:00:550:00:56

Other people have money.

0:00:580:00:59

Forgive me, but are you looking for somewhere to live?

0:00:590:01:02

GATES CREAK

0:01:040:01:07

Oh, wow!

0:01:070:01:08

Oh, mate, check out the tower.

0:01:100:01:11

I'm afraid the tower is unsafe.

0:01:110:01:13

Bill, look at it!

0:01:150:01:16

Yeah, but why's it so cheap?

0:01:180:01:20

This place is great!

0:01:200:01:22

The rooms are HUGE!

0:01:220:01:23

Can I move in tonight? My halls are kicking me out.

0:01:230:01:26

Yes. Yes, of course.

0:01:260:01:28

So, you'll sign the contract?

0:01:280:01:30

-ALL: Yes!

-Of course.

0:01:300:01:32

PEN CLICKS

0:01:330:01:34

Bill?

0:01:340:01:36

THUNDER RUMBLES

0:01:440:01:46

FLOORBOARDS CREAK

0:01:540:01:56

HE CREAKS BOARD

0:01:580:01:59

(Wicked!)

0:02:010:02:02

THUNDER RUMBLES AND CRASHES

0:02:070:02:09

WIND HOWLS

0:02:260:02:28

HE BLOWS

0:02:300:02:32

MUSIC PLAYS: Sonata No.1 in G Minor by Itzhak Perlman

0:02:350:02:38

BOLTS CLANK

0:02:380:02:40

CREAKING >

0:02:400:02:42

CREAKING NEARBY

0:02:470:02:49

THUNDER CRASHES

0:02:530:02:56

What?

0:03:030:03:04

No, no! No, no!

0:03:040:03:05

Stop! NEEDLE SCRATCHES AND SKIPS

0:03:050:03:07

Stop! HE SCREAMS

0:03:070:03:10

Three...

0:04:020:04:04

two...

0:04:040:04:06

-one...

-FAINT THRUMMING

0:04:060:04:08

METALLIC THRUMMING

0:04:080:04:11

SHE GIGGLES

0:04:110:04:13

That's all you've got?

0:04:150:04:16

-I thought you'd have loads.

-Thanks for helping, yeah?

0:04:180:04:21

You should hire this out.

0:04:250:04:27

Like a removal service...

0:04:280:04:30

Removals? Bill, I'm a Time Lord...

0:04:300:04:33

-"Time Lord"? What's that? Your job?

-No!

0:04:330:04:35

It's, er, my people, my species.

0:04:350:04:39

Doesn't sound like a species.

0:04:390:04:41

Sounds posh, like, "Yes, my lord!" Doff my cap.

0:04:410:04:44

Oh, well, that's why I gave it up. Ran away.

0:04:440:04:46

-SHE SCOFFS

-"Time Lords"(!) That's hilarious!

0:04:460:04:49

-Do you wear robes and big hats?

-No, big collars mostly.

0:04:490:04:53

-Do you want the postcode?

-Sorry?

-To find the house?

0:04:550:04:57

Bill, the TARDIS uses multi-dimensional

0:04:590:05:01

space-time coordinates.

0:05:010:05:04

So, you know where it is?

0:05:040:05:05

OK, right, put the postcode in here.

0:05:060:05:08

Saw the bedroom. Do you sleep here?

0:05:100:05:13

If I need to.

0:05:130:05:14

-Done?

-Yeah.

0:05:140:05:16

-HE CRANKS LEVER

-"If I need to"? What does that mean?

0:05:160:05:18

TARDIS THRUMS Sleep's for tortoises.

0:05:180:05:20

-Not "Time Lords"?

-No!

0:05:200:05:21

-Unless we've regenerated or had a big lunch.

-"Regenerated"?

0:05:210:05:25

Oh, the questions, the questions, the questions...!

0:05:270:05:30

Just remember "Time Lords". That's enough for now.

0:05:300:05:32

FAINT THUD Oh, here we are!

0:05:320:05:34

BIRDSONG

0:05:350:05:38

HE GROANS

0:05:400:05:42

Oh, I'll use the TARDIS. Take it all to your room.

0:05:420:05:45

Firstly, I don't know which one my room is,

0:05:450:05:47

and, secondly, that's weird and I want to make a good impression.

0:05:470:05:51

It's cool, I'll just, um...

0:05:510:05:53

get everything out of the TARDIS and then you can go.

0:05:530:05:55

Thanks for the lift, though!

0:05:550:05:57

Bye!

0:05:570:05:58

WOOD CREAKS AND STRAINS

0:05:580:06:00

That's your house?

0:06:020:06:04

Sharing. Yeah. Six of us.

0:06:040:06:06

Renting.

0:06:060:06:07

I thought you were students?

0:06:070:06:09

Yeah, I was like, "What's the catch?"

0:06:090:06:11

but, actually, it's fine, just a bit draughty.

0:06:110:06:13

"Draughty"?

0:06:150:06:16

CREAKING AND STRAINING

0:06:200:06:22

LEAVES RUSTLE

0:06:250:06:26

I meant draughty inside.

0:06:280:06:29

Interesting. I'll help you in.

0:06:300:06:33

No, no, no - it's fine! You really don't have to!

0:06:330:06:36

-Really not a problem!

-No! Wait! Honestly, um...if you just...

0:06:360:06:39

If you just go and do history or whatever...

0:06:390:06:41

SHE SIGHS

0:06:430:06:44

Hey! Where have you been? I thought...

0:06:440:06:46

Oh, you're the Doctor.

0:06:460:06:47

-Yes, hi, can I get past?

-He's just helping with the move.

0:06:470:06:51

-Helping?

-He's just my...

-Friend.

-..grandad.

0:06:510:06:54

Wait, I don't look old enough to...

0:06:540:06:56

..to hold that box for very long.

0:06:560:06:59

Yeah!

0:06:590:07:00

How exciting is this?!

0:07:020:07:04

Oh, wow!

0:07:040:07:05

Doctor! Legend!

0:07:050:07:07

He's my grandad.

0:07:080:07:09

Aw! Come on!

0:07:090:07:11

Father, at least. Please!

0:07:110:07:12

All right, grand-FATHER.

0:07:120:07:14

You really can go now, though.

0:07:170:07:19

Thanks for the help. Job done!

0:07:210:07:23

OK.

0:07:250:07:26

Bye.

0:07:260:07:27

Bye.

0:07:300:07:31

He's your grandad? That's awesome!

0:07:340:07:36

Mine went greypacking on the Great Wall Of China with his boyfriend,

0:07:360:07:39

but they got arrested for trying to steal a bit.

0:07:390:07:41

-Bit of what?

-The wall.

0:07:410:07:43

OK...!

0:07:430:07:45

-You want a hand?

-Uh, yeah.

0:07:450:07:48

Thanks.

0:07:510:07:52

I keep thinking there's going to be one of those bookcases

0:07:570:07:59

that you pull special books and it's a secret passage!

0:07:590:08:02

-Yeah.

-Spooky!

0:08:020:08:04

SHE SIGHS

0:08:040:08:05

PAVEL'S RECORD SKIPS >

0:08:100:08:12

Met Pavel on my first day.

0:08:150:08:17

Often does this.

0:08:170:08:18

Sits in his room for days. Says it gets him in the zone.

0:08:180:08:22

All these lot are empty.

0:08:230:08:24

Yeah, this is nice.

0:08:280:08:30

I picked my room before I'd even seen up here.

0:08:300:08:33

I thought you wanted the tower?

0:08:330:08:35

Yeah, I wish. Can't find a way in.

0:08:350:08:37

There's a freshers' party in the park tonight.

0:08:390:08:41

This lot aren't interested, but it could be fun.

0:08:410:08:44

WIND WHISTLES

0:08:440:08:45

Or not! But either way, I was saying we should throw our own party.

0:08:460:08:51

You know, pop-up!

0:08:510:08:53

Freestyle! Boom!

0:08:530:08:55

SHE LAUGHS

0:08:550:08:57

Yeah, sounds good.

0:08:570:08:58

-See you later, then.

-Sure.

0:09:040:09:06

Here you go, Mum. My own place.

0:09:120:09:15

You proud?

0:09:150:09:16

Thanks!

0:09:180:09:20

WALL CREAKS

0:09:260:09:29

Rrrrrrrr!

0:09:290:09:30

SHE LAUGHS

0:09:300:09:32

CREAKING AND GROANING

0:09:330:09:36

Stop it.

0:09:390:09:40

There's no living puddles or...

0:09:400:09:43

..weird robots, big fish,

0:09:440:09:47

just a new house,

0:09:470:09:49

and people you don't know.

0:09:490:09:51

Not scary at all.

0:09:530:09:54

WOOD CREAKS AND GROANS

0:09:590:10:03

THUNDER RUMBLES

0:10:030:10:05

KEYPAD TONES

0:10:100:10:12

I just get nervous when there's no reception.

0:10:120:10:14

-Like something bad's going to happen.

-Have to get a landline.

0:10:140:10:16

"Landline"! What is this? Scotland?

0:10:160:10:19

Actually, I was unpacking just now and heard this...tapping,

0:10:190:10:24

-little footsteps, like, in the room above?

-What?!

0:10:240:10:27

Oo-oo-oo-ooh!

0:10:270:10:29

Maybe it's a little doll that's come to life.

0:10:290:10:31

Or a massive, freaky spider.

0:10:310:10:34

-Probably just a mouse.

-Yeah, we know! Just messing with her.

0:10:340:10:38

"Mice"? If there's mice, I'm leaving.

0:10:380:10:39

RATTLING >

0:10:390:10:41

-What's that?!

-Pavel?

-Pavel's upstairs.

0:10:430:10:46

RATTLING >

0:10:460:10:48

-Paul, go and have a look.

-Why me?

-You're physically the biggest.

0:10:490:10:53

And the most expendable.

0:10:530:10:54

CLUNK! >

0:10:540:10:56

It's in the kitchen.

0:10:580:10:59

It's all right. I'll go.

0:11:010:11:02

CLATTERING AND BANGING >

0:11:130:11:16

SMASHING >

0:11:200:11:22

-CLATTERING NEARBY

-Maybe it's just the central heating?

0:11:240:11:27

METALLIC CLATTERING

0:11:340:11:37

-SONIC SCREWDRIVER TRILLS There isn't any.

-I thought...

0:11:370:11:39

He'd gone home! Me, too!

0:11:390:11:41

Isn't any what?

0:11:410:11:42

Central heating.

0:11:420:11:44

I've been looking around. Inside and out.

0:11:440:11:46

Very interesting. Lots of wood.

0:11:460:11:48

Why are you still here?

0:11:480:11:49

Do you know what that is?

0:11:510:11:53

That's an oil-burning heater.

0:11:530:11:55

You might need it.

0:11:550:11:56

There's no washing machine either. The hob is from the '30s.

0:11:560:11:59

-Thanks very much.

-The power sockets will not take your devices.

0:11:590:12:03

-Oh! I thought it was just my room.

-No, no, no. They're out of date.

0:12:030:12:06

What's that...smell?

0:12:080:12:10

-Is that Chinese food? I love Chinese!

-Doctor...!

0:12:120:12:15

There might be a few old things, but it just needs updating.

0:12:170:12:21

It's not like there's some massive mystery going on.

0:12:210:12:24

Did you hear the trees creaking outside when we arrived?

0:12:240:12:26

Yeah. It was the wind.

0:12:260:12:28

There wasn't any wind.

0:12:280:12:30

You should find another house.

0:12:320:12:34

Mm, I don't think so.

0:12:340:12:36

The rooms are really big.

0:12:360:12:37

Exactly, it's still the best place for the money.

0:12:370:12:40

-I'll just call the landlord, sort it out.

-You can't. No reception.

0:12:400:12:43

OK, so I'll go down the hill...

0:12:430:12:45

Oh!

0:12:450:12:46

Hi.

0:12:460:12:47

Didn't hear you come in.

0:12:500:12:52

For a man such as myself, discretion is second nature.

0:12:530:12:55

So, a gathering. You're all here... No, except one.

0:12:550:13:00

- Pavel's upstairs. - And one in addition.

0:13:000:13:03

-He's the Doctor.

-Doctor...?

0:13:030:13:05

-BILL STAMMERS

-Yeah, he's my...grandfather.

0:13:050:13:08

-You're assisting with the relocation?

-That's right, yeah.

0:13:080:13:11

It's a heartbreaking experience, to leave one's charge behind.

0:13:110:13:14

All alone in the big, wide world.

0:13:140:13:16

Indeed. Yes.

0:13:160:13:17

-You got children?

-I...

0:13:190:13:20

Yes, a daughter.

0:13:200:13:22

But I'm most fortunate. She's still under my protection.

0:13:220:13:25

So long as that's the case, I'm most content.

0:13:250:13:28

So, I was calling to see if everything was satisfactory?

0:13:280:13:31

Actually, there are a few things...

0:13:310:13:33

-Yes, I see. Go on.

-No central heating?

0:13:330:13:35

-The power sockets are wrong.

-A landline.

-Some new furniture.

0:13:350:13:38

-There's no mobile reception.

-And some curtains. Carpets?

0:13:380:13:40

-Have you got a cat?

-CRUNCH!

0:13:400:13:43

HE MUNCHES

0:13:450:13:48

A cat?

0:13:500:13:51

Yeah, um, Harry said that he heard some noise upstairs,

0:13:540:13:57

like walking around?

0:13:570:14:00

No cats.

0:14:000:14:02

No pets.

0:14:020:14:03

You understand I won't be able to do any of this tonight?

0:14:030:14:06

But as soon as possible. Yes. Knock on wood.

0:14:060:14:09

-Do what I can.

-WOOD CREAKS

0:14:090:14:11

That's another thing, the house is really creaky.

0:14:110:14:13

Everything you touch, it's like, "Eeeeuuuurrr!"

0:14:130:14:16

It's unavoidable, my dear.

0:14:160:14:17

-How do you get into the tower?

-You don't!

0:14:170:14:20

The tower is specifically excluded from the terms of our agreement.

0:14:220:14:25

Oh, right, well...

0:14:270:14:28

Thank you. No tower. Got it.

0:14:280:14:31

Right.

0:14:310:14:32

-Are you staying here tonight?

-Yes.

0:14:370:14:40

-No, he's not.

-I'm not sure.

-There's no reason to.

0:14:400:14:43

-I probably will.

-There isn't a bed, so...

0:14:430:14:46

All right.

0:14:460:14:47

Sorry, excuse me. Sorry, sorry, sorry...

0:14:480:14:50

Who, um...

0:14:520:14:53

Who's the Prime Minister?

0:14:530:14:55

I beg your pardon?

0:14:560:14:58

Margaret Thatcher? Harriet Jones? Wilson? Eden?

0:14:580:15:01

HE CHUCKLES

0:15:010:15:03

I think it's better to leave your granddaughter with her friends.

0:15:030:15:06

They seem respectable, and I'll keep an eye, of course.

0:15:060:15:10

TUNING FORK PINGS

0:15:140:15:16

I'll attend to your requirements in the morning.

0:15:160:15:18

In the meantime, sleep well.

0:15:180:15:20

TUNING FORK SINGS

0:15:200:15:22

I take it back. You're fine.

0:15:290:15:31

HE'S weird.

0:15:310:15:33

Oh! The washing machine!

0:15:330:15:36

HINGES CREAK

0:15:370:15:38

THUNDER RUMBLES

0:15:380:15:40

That's weird.

0:15:420:15:44

He's not there.

0:15:460:15:48

SCRITCHING

0:15:480:15:49

-That's it!

-SCRITCHING

0:15:510:15:53

That's the noise I heard.

0:15:530:15:55

Fascinating...

0:15:550:15:57

SCRITCHING NEARBY

0:15:570:15:59

HE THUDS

0:16:030:16:05

It's just pipes. I'm going to bed.

0:16:050:16:07

-Yeah. Might go up, as well.

-Me, too - locking my door though!

0:16:070:16:11

Grandfather?

0:16:110:16:12

Hello! Yeah.

0:16:150:16:17

Perhaps you should leave now?

0:16:170:16:19

-No, I'm fine.

-Or at least then, go and sleep outside in...the car?

0:16:190:16:24

-Are you two tired?

-Well...

0:16:240:16:27

-Good! No, I'm going to hang about with Simon.

-Harry.

0:16:270:16:29

-And Florence.

-Felicity. Yeah, why?

-Well, we're going to chill. Yeah?

0:16:290:16:32

-Yeah, OK. Yes.

-Put some tunes on. Yes?

-Yes!

-All right.

0:16:320:16:36

See? I'm good at making friends. Give me your phone.

0:16:360:16:38

-But why? There's no reception.

-Phone.

0:16:380:16:40

MUSIC PLAYS: Black Magic by Little Mix

0:16:430:16:46

-I LOVE this.

-Do you know who this is?

0:16:460:16:49

Do I know who this is? Yes, I know who this is...

0:16:490:16:52

-Yeah, it's Spotify so it's probably random.

-"Little...Mix".

0:16:520:16:56

-You like Little Mix?

-Clearly she does.

0:16:560:16:58

-Look! There's a whole playlist here.

-What else have you got on it?

0:16:580:17:01

Can I have a word, please?

0:17:010:17:02

Honestly, Doctor, there's nothing going on.

0:17:070:17:10

Nothing weird, nothing alien.

0:17:100:17:12

Just an old house and a dodgy landlord,

0:17:120:17:16

which is pretty standard for students.

0:17:160:17:18

I'll see you later for more exciting TARDIS action,

0:17:180:17:21

but, basically, this is the bit of my life that you're not in.

0:17:210:17:24

You know what I mean?

0:17:260:17:28

I know what you mean.

0:17:280:17:29

Thanks.

0:17:290:17:30

So, up the wooden hill you go.

0:17:300:17:34

-Sleep well.

-OK...

0:17:340:17:36

Maybe before you do, you should check on your friend,

0:17:360:17:38

who hasn't been seen for a day and who has strange music

0:17:380:17:41

-coming out of his room.

-They said he just does that.

0:17:410:17:43

Nobody "just does" anything.

0:17:430:17:44

-You're not leaving, are you?

-No.

0:17:460:17:49

Your friend will probably be fine.

0:17:490:17:51

HE TAPS Knock on wood.

0:17:510:17:53

-We need to have a talk about your taste in music.

-You coming up?

0:17:540:17:58

Yeah.

0:17:580:17:59

SCRITCHING

0:18:050:18:07

HINGES CREAK

0:18:090:18:10

Oh, this freaky Scooby-Doo house!

0:18:100:18:13

Bill, if you get scared in the night, you know where I am, yeah?

0:18:150:18:18

-What?

-Just, if you need any... of my help,

0:18:180:18:22

or my whatever, you know?

0:18:220:18:24

Yeah, um...

0:18:240:18:26

I get that you're into me,

0:18:260:18:28

but, um, sorry, you're not my type.

0:18:280:18:31

It's just, I tend to go for girls, usually, so...

0:18:330:18:35

Oh! Oh, right!

0:18:350:18:37

I was never in with a chance. Awesome!

0:18:370:18:39

-CREAKING

-Jeez! Stop!

0:18:390:18:41

This is what I'm talking about.

0:18:410:18:43

HE CREAKS BOARD

0:18:430:18:45

-This stuff really freaks you out, doesn't it?

-No.

0:18:450:18:47

-It's just annoying!

-Ah.

-Go to bed!

-Sure.

0:18:470:18:51

WOOD CREAKS AND STRAINS

0:18:510:18:54

HE CREAKS THE FLOORBOARD

0:18:540:18:55

See you in the morning... Agh!

0:18:580:18:59

Night, then!

0:18:590:19:01

Why didn't you get a room next to me, like we said?

0:19:030:19:05

What? I don't know. Doesn't mean anything.

0:19:050:19:08

-I'm not cool enough, is that it?

-No. Shut up!

0:19:080:19:10

-These are my mates, too.

-PAUL IMITATES GHOST

0:19:100:19:13

Paul! Not funny!

0:19:130:19:16

Do you fancy him?

0:19:160:19:18

No! Who? Paul? Why? No.

0:19:180:19:19

-HE YELLS

-Hey! It's not funny!

0:19:190:19:22

CREAKING, CRASHING, HE SCREAMS

0:19:220:19:25

Paul?!

0:19:270:19:29

Are you OK?

0:19:320:19:33

-SHE KNOCKS

-Mate, come on. We got the joke.

0:19:340:19:37

< KNOCKING

0:19:400:19:41

THEY LAUGH

0:19:410:19:43

See? He's fine! OK!

0:19:430:19:45

See you in the morning.

0:19:450:19:48

KNOCKING >

0:19:480:19:49

What?

0:19:490:19:51

KNOCKING ALL AROUND

0:19:510:19:52

Er, what's going on?

0:19:520:19:54

Paul?

0:19:560:19:57

KNOCKING FROM ALL DIRECTIONS

0:19:570:20:00

-We should get the Doctor.

-Why, what's he going to do? Lecture?

0:20:000:20:03

CRASHING

0:20:030:20:05

Just a normal day, just a normal day...

0:20:050:20:08

SHUTTERS CLATTER

0:20:080:20:10

Up!

0:20:100:20:12

MUSIC PLAYS

0:20:160:20:17

-Do you like this music, Doctor?

-Reminds me of Quincy Jones.

0:20:170:20:21

I stepped in for him once.

0:20:210:20:24

The bassist he'd hired turned out to be a Klarj Neon Death Voc-Bot.

0:20:240:20:28

What was worse, he couldn't play. This is very interesting.

0:20:280:20:32

-The door?

-Because it isn't.

-Isn't...?

0:20:320:20:36

A door. Any more.

0:20:360:20:38

Try to open it.

0:20:380:20:39

Come on. Shireen did it a minute ago.

0:20:420:20:44

-DOOR RATTLES

-So, it's locked.

-No. Look.

0:20:440:20:47

It's completely sealed.

0:20:490:20:51

I don't understand...

0:20:510:20:53

BANGING

0:20:530:20:56

-The shutters.

-What about them?

0:21:020:21:04

Closed by themselves.

0:21:040:21:06

-Sealed.

-So...we're trapped!

0:21:120:21:15

Maybe that's the idea.

0:21:150:21:17

-What do you mean?

-SCRITCHING

0:21:170:21:20

What's that?

0:21:200:21:21

WOOD CREAKS AND GROANS

0:21:210:21:22

No, no, no! There's something in here. I can't be trapped!

0:21:220:21:25

-I can't!

-Wait!

0:21:250:21:27

BANGING

0:21:290:21:31

SHE GRUNTS

0:21:330:21:35

-Don't go out there!

-I can't be trapped!

0:21:350:21:38

Agh!

0:21:380:21:39

HE BANGS ON SHUTTER

0:21:390:21:40

CREAKING

0:21:400:21:41

Great.

0:21:410:21:43

Now, we're stuck here.

0:21:430:21:44

-Why did you try and stop her?!

-Listen!

0:21:440:21:47

SCRITCHING

0:21:470:21:50

CLANKING AND CLATTERING

0:21:520:21:56

-SHE SHIVERS

-Police... Call the police... Call...

0:21:560:21:59

WOOD CREAKS AND GROANS

0:21:590:22:01

WOOD STRAINS

0:22:030:22:05

SHE SCREAMS

0:22:050:22:08

DISTANT SCREAMS

0:22:080:22:09

BOTH GRUNT

0:22:090:22:12

What happened to her?

0:22:130:22:15

What's going on?

0:22:150:22:17

Do you think it's like she said? A thing?

0:22:170:22:20

Maybe.

0:22:200:22:21

-And so, is it out there now? Or in here?

-Or both?

0:22:230:22:26

-I'm scared.

-Don't be.

0:22:260:22:28

-Why not?

-It doesn't help.

0:22:280:22:30

HE TAPS

0:22:300:22:32

Who's there?

0:22:350:22:37

PAVEL'S RECORD SKIPS >

0:22:370:22:39

Agh! God!

0:22:500:22:52

Pavel?

0:22:520:22:54

Pavel?

0:23:020:23:03

Do you think he can hear us?

0:23:030:23:05

It'll be OK.

0:23:090:23:10

Is this what happened to Paul?

0:23:100:23:13

-Do we call an ambulance?

-No reception.

0:23:130:23:15

Shireen, please, sort the record out.

0:23:150:23:17

-HE SNUFFLES AGITATEDLY

-Oh, no! Wait, wait, wait!

0:23:170:23:20

Is it something to do with the music?

0:23:220:23:25

Did someone do this to you?

0:23:280:23:31

CREAKING

0:23:310:23:32

I have no desire to intrude, but I felt there was a problem...

0:23:330:23:36

How did you get up here? It's sealed shut!

0:23:360:23:39

Music can be pleasant, but a simple repetition like that...

0:23:390:23:42

it's merely a distraction from the inevitable.

0:23:420:23:45

Hope is its own form of cruelty. MUSIC STOPS

0:23:450:23:47

Pavel! No, wait! Put it back!

0:23:470:23:49

WOOD CREAKS AND GROANS

0:23:490:23:51

Oh, look!

0:23:530:23:55

He's released.

0:23:570:23:59

Mercy at last.

0:24:000:24:01

Beautiful, isn't it?

0:24:010:24:03

Nature contained.

0:24:050:24:07

He's preserved in the walls, in the very fabric of the building forever.

0:24:090:24:13

So, the house is...eating people?

0:24:130:24:15

-We must all pay our dues.

-But not you?

0:24:150:24:19

Correct.

0:24:190:24:20

I am the exception.

0:24:200:24:23

HE TAPS For I am your landlord.

0:24:250:24:28

SCRITCHING

0:24:280:24:30

You came here, you signed the contract.

0:24:300:24:32

And now...

0:24:330:24:35

HE TAPS TUNING FORK

0:24:360:24:37

It's time to pay.

0:24:370:24:40

TUNING FORK SINGS

0:24:400:24:43

-LOUD SCRITCHING

-Go.

0:24:430:24:44

WOOD CREAKS AND GROANS

0:24:440:24:47

-What's that noise?!

-SCRITCHING ALL AROUND

0:24:490:24:51

That tower! It was at the back of the building.

0:24:510:24:54

Logically, the door should be at the end of this corridor.

0:24:540:24:56

Look for a way in!

0:24:590:25:00

Indiana Jones... Come on!

0:25:020:25:04

Yes! The tower!

0:25:080:25:10

DOOR SLAMS

0:25:120:25:13

What if something's got into the wood?

0:25:130:25:17

Into the lathes, behind the plaster,

0:25:170:25:20

into the very fabric of the house?

0:25:200:25:22

Wood nymphs,

0:25:250:25:27

tree spirits...

0:25:270:25:29

..dryads.

0:25:300:25:31

Anything's possible.

0:25:330:25:34

Doctor, what are you doing?

0:25:380:25:41

We need to get out and call the police!

0:25:410:25:43

WOOD CREAKS AND GROANS Who's there?

0:25:430:25:45

-Doctor, you're provoking it.

-WOOD CREAKS AND GROANS LOUDLY

0:25:450:25:48

-It's getting louder!

-Wake up! Wake up! Out you come!

0:25:480:25:51

SCRITCHING

0:25:510:25:53

Oh!

0:25:550:25:57

I was expecting something quite different.

0:25:570:25:59

A gaseous creature. Or microscopic!

0:25:590:26:01

Did you see it move through the wood?

0:26:010:26:03

Interacting at a cellular level. This must be alien! Got to be alien!

0:26:030:26:07

What are you doing here? On your holidays?

0:26:070:26:09

-Harry - get a matchbox.

-A matchbox?!

0:26:090:26:11

-All right, a shoe box, don't let it get away!

-What do you mean "alien"?

0:26:110:26:14

Oh, little one! WOOD CREAKS AND GROANS

0:26:140:26:16

Doctor...

0:26:160:26:18

Oh! It can move fast!

0:26:180:26:19

Where's that box?

0:26:190:26:20

-Doctor!

-What?!

0:26:200:26:22

LOUD SCRITCHING

0:26:220:26:24

Ah.

0:26:240:26:25

Now, this starts to make sense.

0:26:270:26:29

Yes. Dryads indeed.

0:26:290:26:31

We need to get out.

0:26:310:26:32

We can't!

0:26:360:26:38

Harry, in here!

0:26:380:26:40

-What's the point of hiding in a cupboard?

-It's not a cupboard!

0:26:420:26:45

LOUD SCRITCHING

0:26:450:26:49

WHIRRING

0:26:490:26:51

SONIC SCREWDRIVER TRILLS

0:26:510:26:53

CLANKING

0:26:530:26:55

What are they?

0:26:550:26:57

Look like insects but you're saying they can shut doors, trap us?

0:26:570:27:00

They're not just in the wood,

0:27:010:27:03

they're becoming the wood itself.

0:27:030:27:05

Total infestation.

0:27:050:27:07

Infestation of the Dryads!

0:27:070:27:09

You're talking like you've seen things like this before.

0:27:090:27:12

-No, actually.

-You said they were "alien"?

0:27:120:27:15

Well, they could be native to this planet,

0:27:150:27:18

but I've never seen them before. Have you?

0:27:180:27:20

-That's what they're called? Dryads?

-That's what I'm calling them, yes.

0:27:200:27:23

-You've gone crazy.

-Well, I can't just call them "lice", can I?

0:27:230:27:27

DOOR KNOB SQUEAKS

0:27:350:27:37

MUSIC BOX TINKLES MELODY

0:27:520:27:54

SHE GASPS

0:27:580:28:00

(There's something behind there.)

0:28:000:28:02

-WOMAN'S VOICE:

-Father?

0:28:020:28:04

Is that you?

0:28:040:28:05

BOTH STIFLE GASPS

0:28:060:28:08

SCRITCHING

0:28:110:28:13

Maybe it belonged to a family that used to live here?

0:28:190:28:22

Harry, there's six boxes.

0:28:240:28:26

Tenancy agreement. Same as ours.

0:28:300:28:32

Six signatures.

0:28:330:28:34

"Jake Christie, Annie Wren, Jonathan Frost..."

0:28:360:28:39

What's the date?

0:28:390:28:41

Um, 1997.

0:28:410:28:42

"Sarah Tiller, Mark Hopethorne, Carl Richards."

0:28:440:28:46

They move in...

0:28:460:28:48

relax...

0:28:480:28:50

..go to their rooms...

0:28:510:28:53

..then panic.

0:28:550:28:57

Infestation.

0:28:580:29:01

Doctor!

0:29:040:29:06

1977.

0:29:140:29:16

1957. Every 20 years...

0:29:180:29:20

WOOD CREAKS AND GROANS

0:29:200:29:22

There's something coming!

0:29:220:29:24

Good.

0:29:240:29:26

Christie, Wren, Frost, Tiller, Hopethorne, Richards.

0:29:330:29:39

Fine young men and women.

0:29:390:29:42

As were all the others.

0:29:420:29:44

Where are they?

0:29:460:29:48

In the house.

0:29:480:29:49

What? Where? We haven't seen them.

0:29:490:29:52

He means they're IN the house.

0:29:520:29:54

The wood, Harry.

0:29:570:29:58

-Don't think I haven't considered the consequences, Doctor.

-So, why do it?

0:29:580:30:02

My daughter was dying.

0:30:060:30:08

What are you talking about?

0:30:080:30:10

Nothing could be done...

0:30:100:30:12

..until these creatures saved her.

0:30:130:30:16

We'd do anything to protect them.

0:30:190:30:22

Your daughter, she's here, she's in the house, isn't she?

0:30:220:30:24

Indeed, and she MUST survive.

0:30:240:30:28

We have to get out!

0:30:280:30:30

Harry, stay with me!

0:30:310:30:33

Come back, Harry! Come back!

0:30:330:30:35

Aaah! Doctor!

0:30:380:30:40

Get him out.

0:30:400:30:41

HE TAPS TUNING FORK

0:30:430:30:44

TUNING FORK SINGS

0:30:440:30:46

SCRITCHING, HE SCREAMS

0:30:460:30:48

God rest his soul.

0:30:510:30:53

Bill! Is Bill all right?

0:30:530:30:55

I'd be more concerned for yourself, Doctor.

0:30:560:30:58

Your advanced age means you have less energy, less...matter,

0:30:580:31:02

but they'll take what they can get.

0:31:020:31:05

The insects are keeping your daughter alive. How does that work?

0:31:060:31:10

Come on, call these off!

0:31:100:31:11

Maybe I could help? I'm a doctor!

0:31:110:31:15

-SHE STAMMERS

-Are you OK?

0:31:160:31:19

SOFT CREAKING

0:31:190:31:20

Oh...

0:31:200:31:21

I haven't had visitors in such a long time.

0:31:210:31:26

My name is Eliza.

0:31:280:31:30

I'm Bill. This is Shireen.

0:31:310:31:34

Hey!

0:31:340:31:35

I'm pleased to meet you.

0:31:410:31:44

(Bill, look!)

0:31:440:31:45

SHE CREAKS

0:31:450:31:48

What?

0:31:500:31:52

You've got something...just...

0:31:520:31:55

just there.

0:31:550:31:57

I'm a celebrity, get me out of here, yeah?

0:31:580:32:01

Bill...

0:32:020:32:03

SCRITCHING

0:32:030:32:06

THUD!

0:32:060:32:08

Cockroaches. Had them on my gap year in Morocco.

0:32:080:32:11

No problem! Let's go.

0:32:110:32:12

Shireen.

0:32:120:32:14

-SHE GASPS

-Oh, no! Oh, no!

0:32:140:32:17

It's in my foot!

0:32:170:32:19

LOUD SCRITCHING

0:32:190:32:21

Shireen!

0:32:210:32:23

SHE SCREAMS

0:32:230:32:24

HUMMING

0:32:240:32:26

I...I don't understand...she's...

0:32:270:32:29

It's upsetting, I understand.

0:32:290:32:33

But Father says we have to survive...

0:32:330:32:36

Eliza, do not fear this man,

0:32:420:32:45

he says he might be able to make you well.

0:32:450:32:48

Bill, how are you?

0:32:490:32:51

Yeah, yeah, I'm OK. Shireen...

0:32:530:32:56

-The lice?

-Yeah.

0:32:560:32:58

Harry, too. Um, in brief - he's her dad.

0:32:580:32:59

He's been keeping her alive with the bugs for about 70 years.

0:32:590:33:02

Your friends are the food. I said that I could...help.

0:33:020:33:05

Now, you must be Eliza. How are you feeling? Rotten?

0:33:090:33:13

I am quite well.

0:33:130:33:15

-Administer your treatment, Doctor.

-What's the medical history here?

0:33:150:33:19

-What happened? Eliza, you were very ill?

-Yes.

-yes?

0:33:190:33:22

The doctors had, um, given up on you,

0:33:230:33:28

but then, one day, your father brings you a present...

0:33:280:33:30

Where did you find them? On the roof? In the garden?

0:33:300:33:33

'You find the insects. You bring them into the house

0:33:350:33:38

'because you want to show them to her.

0:33:380:33:41

'Presumably, just to... just to amuse her.'

0:33:410:33:45

-You couldn't have known what they were...

-Can you help her or not?

0:33:460:33:49

I am helping! This is me helping!

0:33:490:33:51

How did you find out their unique abilities?

0:33:510:33:55

Did you bring them in here?

0:33:550:33:56

You brought them in here, right, but what activated them?

0:33:560:33:59

-You use a tuning fork now, but...

-Pavel had that record on, a violin?

0:33:590:34:02

High-pitched sounds. Yes.

0:34:020:34:04

MUSIC BOX TINKLES MELODY

0:34:090:34:11

WOOD CREAKS AND GROANS

0:34:110:34:13

Soothes her to sleep.

0:34:130:34:15

SCRITCHING

0:34:150:34:16

'High-pitched sound.

0:34:160:34:18

'You leave your daughter alone for the night, or so you believe.

0:34:200:34:24

'The music wakes them. They set to work, and in the morning,'

0:34:240:34:28

you find her revitalised,

0:34:280:34:30

just...slightly wooden.

0:34:300:34:33

-You realise there's a way she can survive...

-Enough!

0:34:360:34:39

No, wait, Doctor - that doesn't make sense.

0:34:390:34:41

MUSIC BOX STOPS

0:34:410:34:43

SCRITCHING FADES

0:34:430:34:44

Can you not interrupt? I'm doing my thing here.

0:34:440:34:46

But why would he pick up insects from the garden

0:34:460:34:48

-and bring them in to see his ill daughter?

-Everyone loves insects.

0:34:480:34:51

-I don't!

-They're fascinating!

0:34:510:34:53

OK.

0:34:530:34:54

Secondly, he's not wood.

0:34:540:34:57

He's just like us.

0:34:580:35:00

He's...

0:35:000:35:01

Yes...

0:35:010:35:02

So, if he's her father, and she was preserved 70 years ago...

0:35:020:35:07

SONIC SCREWDRIVER TRILLS

0:35:070:35:09

You... Oh!

0:35:090:35:11

No flies on you, Bill.

0:35:120:35:14

And no bugs in you.

0:35:140:35:16

I do not understand.

0:35:160:35:18

I forget, you see, your human lifespan -

0:35:180:35:21

it's not long, is it?

0:35:210:35:22

Do not let them trouble you...

0:35:220:35:25

What do you remember of the past, Eliza?

0:35:250:35:27

My...father...

0:35:270:35:30

He knows what's best.

0:35:300:35:33

Yes, the lice preserve the appearance and the voice,

0:35:330:35:35

but not so much the memories.

0:35:350:35:37

-He's not your father. Am I right?

-No! Stop talking!

0:35:370:35:42

Father, what's the matter?

0:35:420:35:44

I don't understand...

0:35:440:35:46

Your father would've had better things to do

0:35:460:35:49

than playing with insects in the garden.

0:35:490:35:53

But he isn't your father.

0:35:530:35:56

When you were ill, he was sent out of the house, by the doctors

0:35:560:35:59

who are failing to save his MOTHER!

0:35:590:36:02

His...mother...?

0:36:020:36:05

'Eliza, he's your son.

0:36:070:36:09

'Your loving son.'

0:36:130:36:15

SHE SOBS

0:36:240:36:26

My son?!

0:36:260:36:27

CREAKING

0:36:270:36:29

-TEARFULLY:

-Forgive me...

0:36:310:36:33

Forgive me.

0:36:350:36:37

'When you saw what the creatures had done,

0:36:460:36:48

'you understood, didn't you?

0:36:480:36:51

'The lice could keep your mother alive,

0:36:510:36:54

'if you protected them,

0:36:540:36:56

'tamed them, fed them.'

0:36:560:36:59

If you could save the one

0:36:590:37:01

who brought you into this world - wouldn't you?!

0:37:010:37:03

-HE SOBS

-Your silence is a confirmation.

0:37:070:37:10

I did what you told me because I thought you knew best.

0:37:120:37:17

But I...

0:37:180:37:20

-I am your mother?

-Yes...

0:37:200:37:22

And you...

0:37:220:37:23

All these children you've taken!

0:37:260:37:29

You told me it was necessary!

0:37:300:37:32

-That we had no choice.

-That's right, it was.

0:37:320:37:35

It meant we could stay together. Don't you understand? We were happy!

0:37:350:37:39

I kept our lives a secret.

0:37:390:37:43

And a secret we must remain.

0:37:430:37:47

You have brought her nothing but misery and confusion!

0:37:520:37:56

You will be taken, like the others!

0:37:560:38:00

HE TAPS TUNING FORK

0:38:000:38:02

TUNING FORK SINGS

0:38:020:38:04

SCRITCHING

0:38:040:38:06

OK, now's the time for the plan.

0:38:060:38:09

-That was it, no plan. Info dump, then busk.

-Well, start busking!

0:38:090:38:12

Eliza, people have died and will continue to die

0:38:120:38:15

-unless you stop all this right now.

-How can I stop it?!

0:38:150:38:18

You're the parent.

0:38:180:38:20

You're in charge!

0:38:200:38:21

That's it!

0:38:290:38:31

-HE TAPS WOOD

-Do what I say!

0:38:340:38:36

I control you!

0:38:360:38:37

No.

0:38:390:38:40

It's me.

0:38:410:38:43

I control them.

0:38:440:38:46

Eliza, finish them now, take them, or you'll die!

0:38:470:38:50

They'll destroy you!

0:38:500:38:52

What's the point in surviving if you never see anyone,

0:38:520:38:55

if you hide yourself away from the world?

0:38:550:38:58

When did you last open the shutters?

0:38:580:39:00

FIREWORKS FIZZ AND BANG, CHEERING

0:39:050:39:09

The freshers' party in the park.

0:39:110:39:13

Exactly. New friends.

0:39:130:39:16

Fireworks! That's what life should be!

0:39:160:39:18

I remember...

0:39:200:39:21

My son...

0:39:230:39:25

Leave my side at last.

0:39:270:39:29

Go and see the world.

0:39:300:39:32

No! I don't want to!

0:39:320:39:34

If you won't finish them...

0:39:350:39:38

-..I will!

-John!

0:39:400:39:42

CREAKING, SCRITCHING

0:39:440:39:46

My little boy, this has to end.

0:39:460:39:50

No! We mustn't end!

0:39:500:39:52

We have to destroy them!

0:39:520:39:54

It's our time.

0:39:540:39:56

SCRITCHING

0:39:560:39:58

No, I don't want to!

0:39:580:40:01

HE SOBS

0:40:010:40:03

No, no...

0:40:040:40:07

Thank you.

0:40:090:40:10

SHE GASPS

0:40:130:40:16

LOUD CREAKING AND GROANING We've got to get out of here.

0:40:180:40:21

Is that...?

0:40:210:40:23

Yes, your friend. She's restoring them!

0:40:230:40:25

THEY STRAIN

0:40:270:40:29

-I thought you were gone.

-Are you OK?

0:40:310:40:34

Me?! Yeah, I'm fine.

0:40:340:40:36

-What about the others?

-Come on!

0:40:360:40:39

We need to get out! Now!

0:40:460:40:48

CREAKING AND GROANING

0:40:480:40:51

Wrong way! Wrong way! Wrong way!

0:40:550:40:58

RUMBLING

0:40:580:40:59

THUNDER RUMBLES

0:40:590:41:02

Bang goes the deposit(!)

0:41:020:41:05

Oh, man! That's our house.

0:41:050:41:07

Gone.

0:41:080:41:09

RUMBLING, MASONRY CRUMBLES

0:41:090:41:11

Right, you lot, back to the estate agent!

0:41:110:41:14

CRUMBLING, CRASHING

0:41:140:41:17

Better luck next time!

0:41:170:41:19

CLANKING

0:41:210:41:23

-Oh, here he comes!

-Are you being cheerful? I'm against cheerful.

0:41:260:41:30

Bill told me you went on a little adventure. You see?

0:41:300:41:33

-I see what?

-Well, you don't have to go to outer space to find monsters.

0:41:330:41:39

There's plenty of things that want to kill you right here on Earth.

0:41:390:41:42

Result(!)

0:41:420:41:43

-Actually, I'm not that hungry.

-Well, I am.

-Obviously!

0:41:450:41:49

OK. You can take the rest of the night off.

0:41:510:41:54

Go on, go do whatever it is you do.

0:41:540:41:55

Actually, what do you do? No! Never tell me that.

0:41:550:41:58

-I just want to have a look at this.

-BEEPING

0:41:580:42:00

Our friend inside's been a little restive lately...

0:42:000:42:03

-Ah, I can sort that out.

-No, it's all right, I don't mind...

0:42:030:42:06

TERSELY: Goodnight, Nardole.

0:42:060:42:08

Right. Goodnight, sir.

0:42:110:42:14

See you in the morning.

0:42:150:42:16

PIANO PLAYS, FROM INSIDE: Fur Elise by Beethoven

0:42:160:42:21

A piano?

0:42:230:42:24

You've put a piano in there? Why?

0:42:240:42:27

Goodnight.

0:42:280:42:30

Oh, you don't learn, do you, sir?

0:42:300:42:33

FOOTSTEPS RECEDE

0:42:330:42:35

HE KNOCKS Hey!

0:42:430:42:45

Do you want dinner? I've got Mexican.

0:42:450:42:48

PLAYING ENDS ABRUPTLY ON LOW NOTE

0:42:480:42:50

Look, I know you miss it all.

0:42:500:42:53

But I'm stuck here, too, you know?

0:42:530:42:55

We're both prisoners.

0:42:550:42:58

So, what do you say - dinner?

0:42:580:42:59

I've got a new story for you, too.

0:43:020:43:04

There's a haunted house and woodlice from space.

0:43:040:43:07

And lots of young people get eaten.

0:43:100:43:13

PIANO PLAYS: Pop Goes The Weasel

0:43:130:43:16

DOOR LOCKS BEEPS, CLANKING

0:43:180:43:20

I'm coming in.

0:43:200:43:22

'Mining station. Chasm Forge. Crew of 40.'

0:43:280:43:32

Hello?

0:43:320:43:33

'Four survivors.

0:43:330:43:35

'One distress call.

0:43:350:43:37

'They were killed by their own suits.'

0:43:370:43:40

That means there's 36 corpses walking about this station!

0:43:400:43:43

If we want to keep breathing, we have exactly one option.

0:43:430:43:47

None of us have more than 3,000 breaths left.

0:43:470:43:50

Then stop wasting them.

0:43:500:43:51

ELECTRICITY BUZZES

0:43:540:43:56

Why do floorboards creak? When a sinister landlord shows Bill and her friends the perfect houseshare, they have no idea what lies ahead... knock knock, who's there?