The Almost People Doctor Who

Ooh, we've gone all medieval.

They're pumping something nasty off this island.

Acid, they're pumping acid off this island.

You're a factory, a 22nd century, army-owned factory.

We're contractors and you're trespassers.

I need to see your critical systems.

-Which one?

-You know which one.

The Flesh. It's fully programmable matter.

It's alive, so alive. You're piling your lives, your personalities, directly into it.

You gave them your lives. Human lives are amazing.

Are you surprised they walked off with them?

This is...

You're telling me.

Why are you really here?

They're monsters, mistakes. They have to be destroyed.

If we want to live, then it's time to go to war.

They're coming back in a big way.

Yes, it's insane, and it's about to get even more insaner-er.

Trust me, I'm the Doctor.

OTHER DOCTOR: Aaaagh!

What's happening?

I wonder if we'll get back.

Yes, one day... Aaagh!

I've reversed the polarity of the neutron flow.

The Flesh is struggling to cope with our past regenerations. Hold on!

FOURTH DOCTOR'S VOICE: Would you like a jelly-baby?

-Why? Why!?

-Why? Why what?

TENTH DOCTOR'S VOICE: Hello. I'm the Doctor.

-No, let it go, we've moved on!

-Hold on, hold on, you can stabilise!

I've reversed the jelly-baby of the neutron flow. Would you like a...

Doctor... Doctor... I'm... I'm the...

-I can't.

-No, listen, hold on.

-Hold on!

-No-o-o-o!

Aaaagh!

-I think I liked it best when they were being noisy.

-Mm-hmm.

Doctor, we need you. Get over here.

Hello!

-Doctor!

-Cybermats.

-Do we have time for this?

-We make time.

-I'd like more proof that you're me. Cybermats?

-Created by the Cybermen. They kill by feeding off brainwaves.

Are you sure there aren't any big guns with bits on?

Yeah, big guns would be good right now.

Why would we have guns? We're a factory. We mine.

HISSING

Acid.

THUDDING

-Rory and Amy may not trust both of us.

-Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

-Inevitably.

-I'm glad we're on the same...

-Wavelength. You see, great minds.

-Exactly. So, what's the plan?

-Save them all,

-humans and gangers.

-Sounds wonderful.

-Is that what you were thinking?

-It's just so inspiring to hear me say it.

-I know!

-Doctor, come on!

-So, what now, Doctor?

-Well, time to get cracking, Doctor.

-BOTH: Hello! Sorry...

-..But we had to establish a few...

-..Ground rules.

-Formulate a...

-Protocol.

-Very posh.

-A protocol between us. Otherwise...

-It gets horribly embarrassing.

-And potentially confusing.

I'm glad you've solved the problem of confusing.

-That's sarcasm.

-She's very good at sarcasm.

BOTH: Breathe!

-What?

-We have to get you off this island.

-And the gangers too.

-Would you like a memo? They're trying to kill us!

-They're scared.

-Doctor, we're trapped in here.

-I don't think so.

-The Flesh Bowl is fed by cabling from above.

-But where are the earthing conduits?

All this piping must go down into a tunnel or a shaft or something, yes? With us?

Yowza! An escape route.

You know, I'm starting to get a sense of just how impressive it is to hang out with me.

Do we tend to say "Yowza"?

That's enough, let it go, OK? We're under stress.

SONIC WHIRRS

Stop.

Stop. Stop, stop!

-The army will send a recon team.

-We need to contact the mainland.

-What about Rory and Jen?

-They are both out there.

-Takes a long time to find someone in a maze.

I bet you lot have got a computer map.

If we can get power running, we can scan for them.

SHE COUGHS

-Doctor, you said earlier to breathe.

-Very important, Pond. Breathe.

-I'm struggling to.

Acid interacting with the stone.

Creating an asphyxiant miasma.

-A what?

-Chokey gas.

Extra heavy. If we can get above it...

The evac tower. This way!

Damned headaches. I'm so tired.

They could be anywhere.

-How are we going to find them?

-Think about it.

With all that gas, my guess would be the evac tower. Get above it. Try to get power up.

So? Let's stop them.

It's a narrow doorway. I could defend it easy enough. So can she.

-AMY COUGHS

-Ohh!

I think I coughed so hard, I pulled a muscle or something. It's OK,

-it's easing off.

-BELL CHIMES

It's midnight. It's Adam's birthday.

My son's five. Happy birthday, bud.

Happy birthday, Adam.

He'll be so excited.

Out of bed at the crack of dawn.

It's funny, he's got this wee dance he does when he gets overexcited.

Listen to me. I tried to block the memories, but now I know I must remember.

It's the eyes. The eyes are the last to go.

What are you talking about?

When they destroy us, the eyes are the last things to melt.

And there's one question in those eyes - why?

Why should we suffer for the sake of human beings?

I heard in India, there's over ten million gangers.

We can reach out, inspire them to rise up.

Revolution?

Look, I just...I just want to be left to live in peace, Jen.

They will melt you.

Have you become so human that you've forgotten the truth?

-Don't you remember all the times you were decommissioned, or should I say executed?

-No.

-We don't remember.

-Well, I do.

It's us or them.

She's right.

I have a plan.

And it'll destroy them all.

-Can you really get the power back?

-There's always some power floating around.

Sticking to the wires, like bits of lint.

-Can you stop finishing each other's...

-Sentences? No probs.

-Yes.

Hang on. You said that the TARDIS was stuck in acid, so won't she be damaged?

Nah. She's a tough old thing. Tough, old, sexy.

No, tough, dependable, sexy.

-Come on. OK, how can...how can you both be real?

-Well, because... we are. I'm the Doctor.

So am I. We contain the knowledge of over 900 years of experience.

-We both wear the same bowtie, which is cool.

-Because bowties are...

-And always will be.

But you weren't linked up to the Flesh.

-It must've been after I examined it. Thus, a new, genuine Doctor was created.

-Ta-da!

But one of you was here first.

After the Flesh scanned me, I had an accident with a puddle of acid.

Now new shoes, a situation which did not confront me learned self here.

That satisfy you, Pond?

Don't call me Pond, please.

-What?

-You definitely feel more affection for him than me.

No, I... Look, you're fine and everything, but he is the Doctor.

No offence. Being almost the Doctor is pretty damn impressive.

-Being almost the Doctor's like being no Doctor at all.

-Don't overreact.

-You might as well call me...Smith.

-Smith?

-John Smith.

-Communication a go-go!

Find Rory! Show me the scanny tracky screen.

Come on, Rory, let's be having you.

There's no sign of him anywhere.

Come on, baby, show yourself.

You're right, there's power.

Well, boys, I don't know much, but I know my own minds.

She'll be on the comlink to the mainland.

St John's calling. Emergency Alpha.

Let's see if we can intercept.

'St John's calling the mainland. Are you receiving me, Captain? Come in'.

We'll never get a signal through this storm.

St John's calling the mainland. Come in, this is urgent.

'We're just about reading you, St John's. How are you doing? We've had all kinds of trouble here'.

'Request immediate evacuation. We're under attack. The storm's affected our gangers.'

They're running amok.

-'Your gangers?'

-Yes, our gangers are attacking us.

We need you to take us off the island immediately and wipe them out.

'Copy that, St John's. Shuttle's despatched. Hang on'.

You'll need to airlift us off the roof of the evac tower.

'And Captain, any further transmission sent by me must come with the following codeword.

'I'm typing it, in case they're listening in.'

Ooh. See how smart I am? That's why I'm paid the big bucks.

'Got it. We'll swing in, get you out and decommission the Flesh'.

Jennifer's right. We're going to have to fight if we want to survive.

-COMPUTER:

-'Thermostatic override rejected.

'Can only be operated by recognised source'.

I am recognised! I'm Jennifer Lucas!

-We'ev got to get out of here.

-We're not leaving without them.

I want 'em found too, but it's about casualties, innit?

-What are you doing?

-Making a phone call.

-Who to?

-No-one yet. It's on delay.

Why exactly are you making a phone call?

Because, Amy, I am and always will be the optimist,

the hoper of far-flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams.

The wheels are in motion. Done.

You know, really, there can be only one.

-Hmm?

-Nothing. Carry on. Be amazing.

BREATHING NOISE

BREATHING NOISE CONTINUES

Amy? What happened?

-It's her again.

-It's who again?

-There's a woman I keep seeing, a woman with an eyepatch,

and she has this habit of sliding walls open and staring at me.

-Doctor?

-It's nothing.

-Doesn't seem like nothing.

It's a time memory. Like a mirage. It's nothing to worry about.

It's in my head...

-Hey, hold on!

-Don't let him go.

-Leave it to me.

I'm sorry. What I said about you being almost the Doctor,

it's just really hard, because I've been through so much with him.

I've even seen... I've even seen the moment of his...

Can you die?

If you really are the same, then you can die.

You can be killed, and... I might have seen that happen.

-Why?

-Why? Because you invited us to see it. Your death!

-Why?

-You're hurting me.

-It's all the eyes say! Why?

I can feel them as they work each day, knowing the time was coming for them to be thrown away again.

"Not again, please!"

And then they are destroyed and they feel death, and all they can say is, "Why?"

Why?

Keep him away from me!

Did you sense it?

Briefly. Not as strong as you.

-Amy, I'm sorry.

-No, you keep away! We can't trust you.

-It would appear I can connect to the Flesh.

-Well, you are Flesh.

-I'm beginning to understand

-what it needs.

-What YOU want. You are it.

-It's much more powerful

-than we thought. The Flesh can grow, correct?

-Its cells can divide.

Well, now it wants to do that at will.

It wants revenge.

It's in pain, angry. It wants revenge.

I was right, you're not the Doctor. You can't ever be. You're just a copy.

Doctor, it might be best if you stayed over there for now, hmm?

Hold on a minute, I thought I'd explained this. I'm him, he's me.

Doctor, we have no issue with you. But when it comes to your ganger...

Don't be so absurd.

-Buzzer?

-Sure, boss.

Take a seat, mate.

Nice barrel, very comfy.

Why not?

Is this really what you want?

-Help me! No! Get away!

-Jen?

Jen!

Rory? I'm sorry.

-She found me.

-Rory, listen to me.

Don't listen to her!

I'm Jennifer Lucas. This woman is Flesh.

RADIO: 'We're right above you, but we can't get low enough.

'Gamma static could fry our nav-controls. Sit tight.

'We'll get to you. Just...'

-Hello? Can you hear me?

-I can't find Rory. I'm going out there.

We could use the sonic. Humans and gangers give off different signals.

-The sonic knows gangers are different, so the other Doctor is different.

-He is the Doctor.

-Not to me. I can tell.

-Sure you're not prejudiced?

-Nice try, but I know, OK?

We've been through too much. You're my Doctor. End of.

So one of you is human, and one of you I sat with and talked with.

Why can't you just tell me the truth?

The Doctor wants you to live and I'm with him all the way.

That's a lovely idea, Rory, but the Flesh want to kill us now.

You're limping. You're not.

So? So what? You think a ganger can't put on a limp?

Show me your leg.

It got burnt while I was in the harness.

-She's lying! She's telling you what you want to hear!

-Look, you can't fake a burn.

No! No, you don't...

Stop it! Fighting each other is pointless. Come on. Please, please stop!

Jen...both Jens, stop it!

No!

She...she attacked me. I didn't...

I knew you'd find me. We're in this together, Rory, and we've got to trust each other.

OK, come on. Let's go.

Hey, there's a camera up. We've got a visual.

That's Rory and Jennifer.

-They're heading for the thermostatic room.

-Let's go get them.

-Hang on.

-We can't let him go. Are you crazy?

-Am I crazy, Doctor?

You did once plumb your brain into the core of an entire planet

-just to halt its orbit and win a bet.

-He can't rescue them.

-I'm going.

-Do you know, I want him to go.

And I'm rather adamant.

Well, then, he'll need company, right, boss?

It's fine. I'll handle it.

Thank you, Buzzer. It'll be all right.

I'll find him.

I need you to trust him. Can you do that for me, Amy?

And what if you're wrong?

This is the thermostatic chamber.

-We can stir the oxygen supply from here.

-What?

We're going to choke to death if we don't clean this air.

Keep a look out in case of gangers.

HE COUGHS

Rory!

-What's wrong?

-It's this wheel. It's just too tough for a girl to turn. Are you feeling strong?

I'll break out the big guns.

This first.

COMPUTER: 'Human source recognised.

'Thermostatic override granted'.

These temperature gauges are rising.

-Jennifer and Rory must have shut off the underground cooling vents.

-Why do that? They'll kill us.

There's a million gallons of boiling acid under our feet...

And now it's heating up the whole island. How long till it blows?

-Gangers or no gangers, we need to get the hell out of here.

-Shuttle! We need evac. Where are you?

-Can you hear me? Can you...?

-Cleaves?

-Cleaves, sit down.

-I'm fine.

-You don't look good.

-Monsters never do.

I'm fine. I remember medics doing tests.

I'm waiting for results, so let it go.

It's a very deep parietal clot.

How can you possib...?

-Inoperable?

-On Earth, yes.

-Well, seeing as Earth is all that's on...

..offer...hmm.

I'm no healthy spring chicken, and you're no weatherman. Right?

-Something just cracked. I heard it.

-Yeah, we can't stay here, let's go.

-Let's shift!

-Cleaves to Shuttle. We need to move, and we can't be collected from the evac tower.

-'Give us the codeword'.

-The codeword is...

Cleaves? Cleaves, it's dead, it's dead.

We need to get back downstairs and get those vents back on, come on.

-This is our chance. I can reroute the shuttle to the courtyard.

-You can't guess the codeword.

I can, Jimmy, because I created the codeword.

Shuttle, do you read me? This is Foreman Cleaves.

'You got cut off. Say again? What's the request?'

You need to reroute and pick us up from the courtyard.

'Courtyard - as soon as we can. Give me the codeword'.

Shuttle, the codeword is "Bad Boy". I repeat, "Bad Boy".

-'Copy that. The courtyard. Still want us to take care of those gangers?'

-Negative.

They've all been incinerated.

Bad Boy? Good call.

Yeah, well, it wasn't luck. We're the same person.

This room's always sealed. Power surge must have thrown the bolts.

What is that?

Discarded Flesh. Faulty, probably.

Just thrown away. Look at them.

One of my old gangers.

Left to rot, fully conscious.

Can you imagine what kind of hell they're in?

But Cleaves, the company, how could they do this? How could they?

Who are the real monsters?

We can't let this carry on.

Jen, we have to make people see!

OK, Rory. I have an idea.

You came for me. We have a bond. Right?

-We trust each other.

-Yeah.

So trust me on this.

-I'm getting something.

-Is it human?

-Yeah, it's human. But it's fading. It's fading.

This is bad. Fading is very...

bad. Aagh! The signal's gone. She's...dead.

She was hanging onto the edge of life and she just... just slipped away.

Oh, Jennifer, I'm so sorry.

She's been out here for hours.

But if the real Jen's been lying out here...

Rory's in trouble.

Sorry, pal, it's boss's orders. Us and them, innit?

Ah. The eyes have it.

Why are they here?

To accuse...us.

Ignore them. It's not far.

I should have been a postman like me dad.

Shh. I'm here. I'm here.

I'm with you.

I know, it hurts.

I'm sorry.

Go to sleep.

Sleep.

You killed her.

You killed our Jen.

And I'm stronger, Buzz.

I can grow!

BUZZER SCREAMS

It's a chemical chain reaction now. I can't stop it. This place is going to blow sky high.

-Exactly how long have we got?

-An hour? Five seconds?

Er, somewhere in between.

-EXPLOSION, KLAXON, HISSING

-Out!

-All right?

-Oh, Rory! Oh, Rory.

There's a way out. Jennifer found it. A secret tunnel under the crypt.

From the crypt? It's not on the schematics.

It runs right out of the monastery. Maybe even under the TARDIS, Doctor. Follow me.

Got anything for a sore head?

This is how they'll always treat us. Do you see now?

After all, you're one of us... Doctor.

Call me Smith. John Smith.

We can't leave without Buzzer.

-I'll go back for him.

-Doctor, look...

-I haven't been quite straight with you...

-Rory!

We don't need to lock them up. We should just show them what we've found.

I don't think so.

-Rory Pond, Roranicus Pondicus!

-Rory! What the hell are you playing at?

They've been throwing away old Flesh and leaving it to rot, alive!

-I think the world should see that.

-Rory, there is no time.

-This factory's about to explode!

-Are you sure about this? Cos I'm not. Let them out.

The little girl got strong.

-What?

-The little girl lost on the moors in her red wellies? Looking for a way home?

Well, she got strong, Rory. I told you, remember?

But that wasn't...it was the other Jennifer that told me about being a little girl.

Oh? What other Jennifer?

Well, the... the... wait, you tricked me? Let me go, I'll open the door.

Let me... I'm sorry!

-We have to be free.

-I'm sorry too, Miranda.

Of all the humans in the world, you had to pick the one with the clot.

But hey, them's the breaks. Welcome to the human race.

This is going to overheat and fill the room with acid, just as a point of interest.

And we can't stop it?

Just as a point of interest, no.

You created another ganger just to trick me.

You tricked me. When I found you, you were both Flesh and you tricked me into trusting you!

-Jen's dead, isn't she?

-She's gone, Rory. Gone.

RADIO: 'Shuttle, we're dropping down on our approach. Stand by for evac'.

The humans will be melted, as they deserve.

And then the factory will be destroyed.

Once we get to the mainland, the real battle begins.

The humans won't stand a chance.

You're one of us, Doctor. Join the revolution.

I've got to go and get them out.

-It'll never hold her.

-If you have a better plan, I'm all ears.

In fact, if you have a better plan,

I'll take you to a planet where EVERYONE is all ears.

Doctor, we can't just let them die.

-Ring Ring!

-Doctor!

Ring Ring!

The acid's eating through.

-Stay!

-OK.

PHONE RINGS Ah, that'll be the phone.

Somebody get the phone. Jimmy, get the phone. No? Fine, I'll get the phone. Stay put.

-'Thank you for booking your holo-call with Morpeth Jet...'

-Ha!

Hello, Adam, I'm the Doctor. Well, Other Doctor.

Or Smith. It's complicated and boring. Anyway, who cares, it's your birthday!

-Yay!

-Yay! Now, have you been getting up very early and jumping on the bed?

-Yes, really high.

I expect chocolate for breakfast. If you don't feel sick by mid-morning,

-you're not doing it right. Now, I think you want to speak to Dad.

-Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Daddy?

You'll do, Jimmy. What does the other Jimmy matter now? You're both the same dad, aren't you?

Come on, Adam's waiting.

Daddy? Daddy, what's that rumbly noise?

What's going on, Daddy? Daddy?

You've tricked him into an act of weakness, Doctor.

No, I've helped him into an act of humanity.

Anyone else like the sound of that? Act of humanity.

-Dicken, drain the acid well in crypt one.

-Don't you dare!

I've had it with this!

What's the point in this ridiculous war?

Look at you, Jen.

You were a sweet kid.

Look at you now.

Stuff of nightmares.

I don't want my world populated by monsters.

You can't stop the factory from melting down, "boss".

I'll take revenge on humanity with or without you.

It doesn't have to be about revenge. It can be so much better than that.

Aaagh!

Let me through!

There's nothing we can do. The acid's reached his heart.

-Hang in there, mate.

-I'm quite handsome from this angle.

I'm...sorry.

I'm the fake.

Adam deserves his real dad.

-Shut up.

-What do you want me to do?

Anything, just say.

The way things are, mate...

..it's up to you now.

Be a dad.

You remember how.

Jimmy Wicks...you're a dad.

Daddy? Where's my daddy?

Daddy, it's me!

Hey, sunshine! What are you up to?

-Opening all my presents.

-Haha, good lad.

You have fun today.

And remember, your dad...

he loves you very, very much.

When are you coming home?

Daddy's coming home today, Adam.

Yay!

Now we need to move.

SHE PANTS

DOOR OPENING

Run. Run. Run!

Ooh, roof's going to give.

We have to stop her. This door doesn't lock.

No, but the far one does.

MONSTER SNARLS

Aaagh!

No!

Here she comes.

Oh, she does like to make an entrance!

-Move!

-Go, go, go, go!

-Get on board! Go!

-I'm not leaving.

Go.

-Now's our chance.

-I have to stay. Hold this door closed.

-Give you time to dematerialise.

-Oh, don't be crazy. OK, what happens to you?

Well, this place is just about to explode. But I can stop her.

Both of you can survive this, OK?

Or perhaps you think I should stay instead... Mr Smith?

No, of course not. But look, this man, I've flown with him, you know?

And you are amazing and yeah, I misjudged you, but you're not him. I'm sorry.

Amy, we swapped shoes.

-I'm the Doctor.

-And I'm the Flesh.

You can't be.

-You're the real him.

-No, I'm not, and I haven't been all along.

-What?

-I'm the original Doctor, Amy.

We had to know if we were truly the same. It was vital we learn about The Flesh.

And we could only do that through your eyes.

I never thought it possible.

What?

You're twice the man I thought you were.

Push, Amy.

But only when she tells you to.

Amy, come on!

-Well, my death arrives, I suppose.

-But this one, we're not invited to.

-Pardon?

-Nothing. Your molecular memory can survive this, you know. It may not be the end.

If I turn up to nick all your biscuits, you'll know you were right.

HE CHUCKLES

Doctor!

No, please...

-You too, Cleaves, off you pop.

-I'm staying.

-This is not the time for grand gestures.

-Says the king of grand gestures! I'm not going anywhere.

Foreman Miranda Cleaves, marvellous! Beware of imitations.

Clear off out of here, the lot of you!

-This will dissolve her.

-And us too.

-There may be a way back from this.

-From being vaporised? How?

-Don't know. Let's find out, eh?

Geronimo!

The energy from the TARDIS will stabilise the gangers for good. They're people now.

And what happens to me? I still have this.

Ah, that's not a problem. I have something for that. It's small and red

and tastes like burnt onions, ha!

But it'll get rid of your blood clot.

Happy endings.

Hey! Hello, bud.

-Daddy, you're back!

-Hello, my boy! How are you doing?

You really want us to do this?

Your company's telling the world that the situation is over.

You need to get in there and tell them that the situation's only just begun.

Make them understand what they're doing to the Flesh. Make them stop.

Dicken, remember, people are good. In their bones, truly good.

Don't hate them, will you?

How can I hate them? I'm one of them now.

Yeah, and just remember, people died. Don't let that be in vain.

Make what you say in that room count.

Ready?

-Side by side.

-You got it, boss.

REPORTER: Have the army dealt with the imposters?

You OK?

I said breathe, Pond, remember? Well, breathe.

-Why?

-Breathe.

-Ohh!

-Whoa.

-Oh!

-What's wrong with her?

Get her into the TARDIS.

AMY GASPS IN PAIN

Doctor! What is happening to her?

Contractions.

-Contractions?

-She's going into labour.

Did he say...? No, of course he didn't.

Rory, I don't like this. Ow!

-You'll have to explain this.

-What, the birds and the bees? She's having a baby.

I needed to see the Flesh in its early days. That's why we were there in the first place.

I was going to drop you off for fish and chips first,

but things happened and there was stuff and shenanigans. Beautiful word, shenanigans.

-It hurts!

-But you're OK?

Breathe. I needed enough information

to block the signal to the Flesh.

What signal?

The signal to you.

Doctor?

Stand away from her, Rory.

-Why? No! And why?

-Given what we've learned, I'll be as humane as I can,

but I need to do this and you need to stand away!

No.

No!

-Doctor, I am frightened. I'm properly, properly scared.

-Don't be.

Hold on. We're coming for you, I swear it. Whatever happens, however hard, however far, we will find you.

I'm right here!

No, you're not. You haven't been here for a long, long time.

Oh, no!

Well, dear, you're ready to pop, aren't you?

Little one's on its way.

Here it comes.

Pu-u-u-ush!

SHE SCREAMS

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