The Once and Future Queen Merlin

'In a land of myth and a time of magic,

'the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young boy.

'His name...

'Merlin.'

My Lord. He is here.

You are Myror. Legend has it you are the most feared assassin

in all the known lands.

I want you to kill the man who murdered my son.

I want you to kill

Arthur Pendragon.

That has got to hurt.

That's the point, Merlin, it's not a pillow fight.

Fetch me another lance, will you?

Why did you pull out? I was wide open. You could have unhorsed me.

I was fearful I might injure you, sire.

You HAD the advantage, you can't afford to hesitate.

I wouldn't have done if I were facing a different opponent.

You are the future King, my Lord.

You jousted against me in the tournament last year.

Are you saying you let me win?

No, my Lord.

It doesn't matter who I am.

I do not expect any special treatment from you, from any of you.

Is that understood?

How can I prove myself if my opponents don't try their hardest?

I'm sure it's not happening all the time.

So it's happening some of the time?

No. I'm certain it isn't.

Now you're doing it! You're telling me exactly what you think I want to hear.

Yes.

Er...no. What was the question?

That just proves it.

All my life I've been treated as if I'm special.

I just want to be treated like everyone else.

Really?

You've no idea how lucky you are.

Any time you want to swap places, just let me know.

That's not a totally stupid idea.

You're Prince Arthur. You can't change who you are.

Yes, I can.

We've received reports that a beast has been sighted

roaming the forests near the Northern Borders.

What's the nature of this beast?

It has the body of a lion, the wings of an eagle

and the...face of a bear.

I believe it has been conjured by sorcery.

Then we must destroy it.

-I leave for the Northern Borders in the morning.

-You'll miss the tournament.

As much as I want to compete,

my duty to Camelot comes first.

You're right, of course.

I'll meet you here in four days.

You must tell no-one that I have returned to Camelot.

PANTING You're late.

Sorry. Gaius...

The floors...

What is that smell? Whose clothes are these?

They're mine. I washed them specially.

-Are you sure this is a good idea?

-It seems pretending to be somebody else

is the only way to get people to be honest with me.

-Grab my bag.

-If you want to pass as a peasant,

you should probably carry your own bag.

You're forgetting something, Merlin.

No-one will know it's my bag.

There must be easier ways to prove yourself.

Shut up, Merlin.

I was there in person. Odin has put a price on Prince Arthur's head.

-Surely he wouldn't dare.

-He is blinded by grief, my Lord.

Myror has accepted the bounty.

I've heard of this Myror.

I believe he's heading for Camelot as we speak.

I bring you this information at great risk to myself.

Double the guards. I want this assassin intercepted before he reaches Camelot.

My Lord.

Guinevere...

It's good of you to let me stay in your home.

I'm happy to help.

(Food.)

I'll prepare some food for you.

(I can't believe you talked me into this.)

You can't really expect me to stay.

-We can trust Gwen not to tell anyone you're here.

-I doubt anyone would believe it.

If you really can't cope without your big bed and your soft pillows...

This will be fine. How are the preparations coming along?

Have you found someone to play our knight in the tournament?

Absolutely. He's a farmer

from one of the outlying villages and no-one will recognise him.

But does he look the part?

Great(!)

HE GIGGLES

From now on, you are Sir William of Deira.

Imagine you're really...arrogant.

Knights think they're better than everyone else.

It's not arrogance. Ignore him, he's an idiot.

A knight must behave with honour and nobility.

That's...better.

You must convince everyone that you were born into a noble family.

Polish my armour, boy.

Now you're getting the hang of it.

That's a good point. You do need to polish our armour.

-Yeah.

-HE LAUGHS

Glad to see you're resting, Merlin.

I take it that means you've got the energy to clean my leech tank.

HE GROANS

It's been a long day. I think I'll turn in for the night.

Is this my bed?

Of course.

I hope you'll be comfortable.

I'm sure I will be.

SHE SIGHS

Good night, Guinevere.

Good night, my Lord.

Why are you here?

Your information was wrong.

Prince Arthur is not among the party travelling to the Northern Borders.

-The Prince left with them yesterday.

-Perhaps he has returned to Camelot.

Not that I've heard. His return would have been announced at Court.

It would seem the Prince does not want to be found.

Hm.

ARTHUR: Remember the plan. I'm competing in the tournament,

but no-one will know that it's me.

All you have to do is acknowledge the crowd at the end of the match.

Act like you belong there...

..and people will believe that you do.

Knights of the realm, welcome to Camelot.

You've trained for this day for many years...

He hasn't fallen off his horse!

I suppose that's something.

..and your skill to the test.

Today, you will fight for glory and for honour. For this

is the ultimate test of courage.

It will be the measure of you as men.

Only the most skilful,

the most fearless among you, will emerge as a worthy champion.

They're ready for you, sire.

-You must go and acknowledge the crowd.

-How do you do that?

You wave, they cheer, it's not difficult.

-I do all the work, someone else gets all the praise.

-Know the feeling.

When I win this tournament,

I will reveal my true identity, get the credit I deserve.

Of course you will.

Don't just stand there, help me off with my armour.

Remember to polish it before tomorrow, the horse needs grooming

and don't forget to repair the broken lances.

Do you have news on the whereabouts of Prince Arthur?

Everyone believes he is travelling to the Northern Borders.

-But Arthur's servant remains in Camelot.

-Who is this servant?

That's him.

Why is he working for another knight?

Is this about the leech tank?

How very perceptive of you, Merlin.

I'll clean it tomorrow.

Will that be before or after you've scrubbed the floors and done the laundry?

From what I hear, the ladies of the Court are quite impressed with Sir William.

They think he's very handsome.

Typical. They wouldn't know a real knight

if he whacked them round the head with his lance.

Why are you doing this?

I fear that people respect me just because of my title.

-I don't believe that's true of everyone.

-Would you tell me if it were?

No.

When I'm competing as William,

my title doesn't matter, nobody gives me any special treatment.

So, when I win this tournament,

IF I win this tournament, it will be because I deserve it.

Not because I am

Prince Arthur.

I think I'll take a bath.

That might be difficult, seeing as I don't have a bath tub.

Really?

Perhaps you could prepare me a bowl of hot water.

I take it you have a bowl.

I think I can manage a bowl.

I'll just walk all the way down to the well and fetch some water, then, shall I?

DOOR OPENS

Merlin, on your feet. Arthur may be away, but I'm not.

Why is my leech tank still dirty?

Where do you get the idea you can sit around all day doing nothing?

Do you think I sit around doing nothing?

I haven't had a chance to do nothing since the day I arrived in Camelot.

I'm too busy running after Arthur. Do this, do that.

When I'm not running after Arthur, I'm doing chores for you or fulfilling my destiny.

Do you know how many times I've saved Arthur's life?

I've lost count. Do I get any thanks?

No. I've fought griffins, witches, bandits,

been punched, poisoned, pelted with fruit,

and all the while, I hide who I am

because if anyone finds out, Uther will have me executed.

I feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions, I don't know which way to turn.

Sir Alynor has advanced to the final.

You are not impressed by this Sir William of Deira?

I believe he's an arrogant pig.

Congratulations, you are in the final.

Go on, then, your people await you.

No-one can say Sir Leon let me win this time.

CROWD CHEERS

Sounds like the crowd have really taken to William.

That will change when I reveal my identity.

You really miss all the attention, don't you?

Just go and water the horse, will you?

He's a fine horse.

I see your master has advanced to the final.

He's extremely skilled with a lance.

He's doing well. Just one more match to go.

So you are no longer working for Prince Arthur.

No.

Yes, yes, not right now. Arthur is away. I'm just...helping out.

Well, I wish your master luck in the final.

Thanks.

Guinevere.

Just a minute.

Have you got a needle and thread?

My shirt needs mending.

Um...

Is this where you sleep? Where's your bed?

You're sleeping in it.

Why didn't you say something?

How could I? You're Prince Arthur.

Besides, you didn't give me the chance. You assumed the bed was yours.

How should I know if you don't tell me?

You shouldn't need to be told to think of someone other than yourself. You're not a child.

Is there anything else you'd like to say to me?

Please...I'd like to hear it.

If there's something you want to say to me,

don't let me stop you.

You don't have any idea, do you?

About what?

About how rude and arrogant you can be.

This is my home and you are my guest in it.

I know you are used to more luxurious quarters,

but that is not an excuse to be so rude.

You claim titles don't matter, but you behave like a prince

and expect me to wait on you like a servant.

Saying it means nothing if your actions betray you.

Would it kill you to say please and thank you once in a while?

My Lord.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?

No, I think that's it.

You're right.

You have invited me into your home

and I have behaved appallingly.

-I didn't mean to make you feel bad.

-Oh, really?

-Perhaps a little.

-There's no excuse.

I'll make it up to you.

Tonight I will make dinner for you.

-You're going to cook me dinner?

-I most certainly am. Now, go for a walk

or do what whatever it is girls do at this time of the evening.

-A walk would be nice.

-Your dinner will be ready when you return.

Where's Arthur?

He's cooking me dinner.

Arthur's cooking?

Merlin, thank God.

Gwen says you're cooking.

-Fetch me two dinners from the palace kitchens.

-So, you're not cooking?

No. Gwen doesn't need to know that. As far as she's concerned,

dinner will have been prepared and cooked by me.

-Are you trying to impress her?

-Don't be ridiculous, Merlin!

And get me a decent shirt, will you?

Your clothes are making me itch all over. It's like having fleas.

She's coming. Quick - out the back way.

Do something with this.

I hope Gwen's impressed with your cooking.

Guinevere.

Perfect timing.

Thank you.

This is delicious.

I'm glad you like it.

-GUARD:

-Halt! You! Stop right there.

Did you see him?

Lost him.

Dinner's ready.

What I said this morning...

It is I who should be apologising to you.

I have failed to appreciate just how heavy your burden must be.

-I shouldn't have lost my temper.

-It's no wonder you're upset.

There's so much resting on your young shoulders.

Now that Arthur's away, you must take time to enjoy yourself.

What about the leech tank?

Don't even think about the leech tank.

Really?

All this talk of leeches will put us off our dinner.

Where did that chicken come from?

KNOCK ON DOOR

Come in.

The King commands your presence immediately.

Earlier this evening, an intruder was spotted in the lower town.

Then I fear it's true - Odin has sent an assassin to kill Arthur.

Have you any word from Arthur since he left for the Northern Borders?

No. None.

-I want the assassin found before Arthur returns.

-Yes, my Lord.

So, do I have any more annoying habits you wish to tell me about?

No. None.

There's something else, isn't there? What is it?

Well, the truth is, you snore.

-I do not snore.

-You do.

Your first night, I thought a pig had got into the house.

So now I'm a pig. Thank you, Guinevere(!)

I just meant you sound like a pig.

I think I'd better stop talking!

I'll do that.

Where did you get those plates?

From the cupboard.

They have the royal seal.

They're from the palace kitchens. I've washed enough of them to know.

I take it that's where our food came from.

I can kill a chicken from a thousand paces,

just don't ask me to cook it. That's what servants are for.

I didn't mean it like that.

I'm not ashamed to be a servant. At least I'm not a liar.

We had a nice meal together. What does it matter where it came from?

Because I thought you'd shown some humility.

You had done something kind for me even though I'm just a servant.

A good king should respect his people no matter who they are.

Guinevere.

I know I have much to learn.

There are some things that I'm terrible at,

cooking being one of them,

but also,

knowing what to say to someone I care about.

Arthur. There's an assassin in Camelot. He's here to kill you.

Your father said Odin sent him.

Why would Odin want you dead?

Odin's son challenged me to a fight.

I had no quarrel with him. I asked him to withdraw.

Perhaps he felt he had to prove himself.

You cannot blame yourself.

No-one but us knows where you are.

-May I continue to stay here?

-Of course. For as long as you need.

Thank you. I'll sleep on the floor tonight.

-Have my bed. You must be well rested for the tournament.

-I'll not hear of it.

Good night, Guinevere.

Good night.

Fetch a mattress from my quarters and bring it up here.

How am I supposed to carry a mattress on my own?

I don't know. Strap it to your back.

One more match, tournament will be over.

You can go back to being Prince Arthur.

Um...

I thought you might wear it... for luck.

Thank you.

I must go.

They're nearly ready for you, sire.

Sir Alynor. Good luck in the final.

His lance pierced my armour.

-You're losing too much blood.

-Do what you can.

I have to be back on the course within five minutes or I forfeit the match.

You can't joust.

I have never withdrawn from a match.

I do not intend to start now.

You would risk your life to protect your pride?

You have nothing to prove, least of all to me.

I have everything to prove... to myself.

You'll have to pass me my lance.

This is madness.

Gwen! Where's Arthur?

He's about to joust.

He's jousting against the assassin.

Onbind tha teage.

You were jousting against the assassin. He killed Sir Alynor and took his place.

The people are waiting for their champion.

It's time to reveal yourself.

You must go and collect the trophy.

I thought this was going to be your moment of glory.

Perhaps this... is a time for humility.

The assassin attacked us. I was injured while killing him.

Odin must pay for his actions. We must strike back at him.

Surely you understand the grief he feels for the loss of his son.

We should try to make peace with him.

There's been enough bloodshed.

Perhaps you're right. How was rest of your trip? Fruitful?

Very.

I learned a great deal.

How was the tournament?

Excellent. We have a new champion, Sir William of Deira.

I'm sorry I missed all the excitement.

Guinevere.

What happened while I was staying with you...

I'm afraid my father would never understand.

You don't have to explain.

Perhaps when you are King...

..things will be different.

-UTHER:

-Arthur.

This is horrible.

This is so disgusting.

Well, perhaps you'll think twice about lying to me in future.

And Merlin...

-There's something on your face.

-Where?

Ugh! Oh! Uh!

HE CHUCKLES

Ooh! Ugh! Ugh!

Ow! Ah! Ow!

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