Back By Six Moving On

Come on, kids.

You'll not be needing that.

But, Mum...

Do as your dad says.

-And you, madam, phone away, yeah?

-Why?

Because it'll only set him off moaning about the other contraption.

See you at six, yeah?

Yeah, see you at six.

You used to love the pictures.

I'm not watching a kids' film, Dad.

But your brother's too young for a 15.

And so are you for that matter.

Dad, nobody's bothered.

I'm bothered! Does your mum let you watch stuff like that?

I could've watched it on my own and met you afterwards.

I see little enough of you as it is.

We do things together, as a family.

Shouldn't we have invited Mum, then?

Mum is doing her own thing.

This is our turn...for fun stuff.

-Like baby films.

-It's not a baby film, is it, Dad?

-Course it's not, kiddo.

-It's a cartoon.

-So?

-Cartoons are for kids and babies.

Give it rest, the pair of you.

What are you banging on the door like that for?

What are you playing at changing the locks?

-Keep your voice down. The whole street can hear you.

-Well?

-Well, what?

-You won't get away with this.

-Get away with what exactly?

-Locking me out of my own house.

-Your house?

Yeah, seeing as I pay for it, and everything else in there...

-Here we go...

-You can't just evict me from my own kids' lives,

no matter what some stain of a lawyer says.

I have rights.

Yeah, well, if I want the locks changed on my house that's my right.

Yeah, well, we'll see about that.

Come on, kids, your dad's waiting.

This is my house too.

WAS your house, when you were married.

How about that other one we looked at - make your own fashion jewellery?

Nobody would be seen dead in that, Dad.

There must be something here that you want.

I never got anything outside of birthdays and Christmas

when I was your age.

-Couldn't I just have the money?

-No, you can't.

You can join in for a change and get your head out of that phone.

Dad, can we get this?

There's not enough room at your mum's, kiddo.

-Couldn't we keep it at your place?

-Maybe, when I'm sorted.

But that's something you ask Father Christmas for.

Go on, take it back and get something smaller.

KEYPAD BEEPS

Hey, how about a Furby? You used to love them.

That was ages ago.

I can remember when I couldn't get either of you to shut up.

You used to take the batteries out and hide them.

I was on nights. Only way I could get a decent kip.

Mum used to sneak 'em back to me.

Well, she never had to go out and go to work, did she?

KEYPAD BEEPS

Here...

get something if you want, keep the cash if you don't.

PHONE RINGS

Hi?

I'm outside.

-All right?

-Yeah.

Hang on, don't forget this.

Just in case he gets bored again.

What about the charger?

I plugged it in before you went to bed.

Great. I can show you how Minecraft works, Dad.

Great.

And don't forget to feed them this time.

-Meaning?

-Meaning don't just drop them off and leave me

to cook something for them last minute.

I asked them both and they said they weren't bothered.

We eat at five here, they need their routine.

What do you suggest, I force-feed them at five on the dot?

No, I'd suggest not stuffing them full of treats.

Get the basics right instead of buying them off with cash and toys.

-What I do with my kids in my time has got nothing to do with you.

-It's got everything to do with me -

-I'm their mother.

-Yeah? And I'm their dad

and I barely see 'em enough as it is, so when I do,

I'll treat them as I damn well see fit.

Where we going, Dad?

Getting something to eat!

I'll see you at six.

-Chloe?

-Large. Actually, no, regular.

-Regular meal, please.

-ON INTERCOM: Anything else?

-Just hang on. Well, Jack?

-Jack?

-Me son. Jack, hurry up.

-I wanted to go to that chicken place.

Well, we're here now. I'm eating their chicken, why don't you?

All right... No...a cheeseburger.

-A children's cheeseburger meal, please.

-No, I don't want the children's meal.

-Chloe's not having the children's meal.

-Because I'm not a kid.

-What drink with the children's meal?

-Scratch that.

Eh?

No children's meal. He'll have a regular cheeseburger meal instead.

-Large.

-Sorry, mate, make that a large, with fries.

Large, before you ask.

-Regular large or extra large?

-Large.

-What drink?

-Coke.

-One Coke, and one chocolate milkshake.

-Coke.

Make that two Cokes... He usually has a milkshake.

-Two Cokes, one chocolate milkshake.

-No, two Cokes.

-Regular, large, extra large?

-Large.

-Extra large.

-Extra large.

-Will that be all?

And I'll have a chicken thingamabob, whatever you call it.

-Burger or wrap?

-You what?

-Burger or wrap?

-A burger, please.

-Fries?

-Yes, please.

-Regular, large, or extra large?

-Whatever.

-Regular, large, or extra large?

-Regular.

-What drink?

-I'd like a tea, please.

-Breakfast or decaff?

-A tea...a regular tea.

-Milk?

-Yes, please.

-Sugar or sweeteners?

-You know what, just make it a Coke.

-Regular, large or extra large?

-You know what? Forget it.

-Dad...

-Don't.

That's your pudding.

Dad, everybody has Wi-Fi.

Come in, Dad, please.

-Another time, kiddo, yeah?

-I can't. You don't have Wi-Fi.

Your dad has stuff to do, he doesn't want to come in.

But, Mum, please?

You collect different bits so you can mine for stuff to build with.

I see.

I've built a house. And I found some diamonds last night.

Yeah, that's great.

You didn't tell me you were thinking of going on holiday.

-Didn't know I was.

-So what's with the brochures?

What's with the third degree?

It's just funny you screaming poverty half the time

yet you can afford to be looking through these.

Yeah, well, it costs nothing to look, does it?

Dad, you're missing this. It's a creeper.

Since when did you drink beer?

-Dad!

-Hang on a minute Jack. Well?

Since when does anything I do any more

have anything to do with you?

I'm just saying, it's not like you.

Beers in the fridge,

all dolled up for a Saturday night in with the kids.

-Dad!

-Hang on a minute, Jack. Mummy and Daddy are talking.

-No, we're not. Jack, your Dad has to go now.

-Why the sudden rush?

You've obviously no interest in talking to him,

-and I've got to get their tea on so I'd like you to leave.

-Hang on...

-Now, Andy!

Say goodbye, Jack.

Aw!

What the hell has got into you?

I've got every right to know what's going on under my own kids' roof.

Yeah, but what you do not have the right to do is to worm your way

in here via them and interrogate me about what I do in my own time.

You gave that up the day you decided a wife

and kids wasn't for you any more!

HORN HONKS

Hey, kids, jump in...

Down the snake for you, Chloe.

How long does this last?

Until the first person gets to the top.

And then what?

Nothing, you win. It's fun, and it doesn't need a charger.

You could get an app for this, if you had...

Wi-Fi, yes, we know.

Come on, it's your go.

Four! One, two, three, four.

Nearly. My go.

We've got Wi-Fi at the hotel.

-What hotel?

-The one on our holidays.

And where are you going on this holiday?

Can't remember. We're staying with Mum's new friend.

What did I miss?

It's your turn.

You throw for me.

Bye, Dad.

See you later, kids, love you!

-What's up with you?

-Who is he?

-Excuse me?

My kids living under that roof gives me the right to know who's coming and going here.

I don't know what's going on in that paranoid little brain of yours but...

Beer in the fridge, you all dolled up like a dog's dinner.

He's got his feet right under the table, hasn't he?

I'm going inside. I suggest you leave now,

before you cause yourself any more trouble.

Do they know him?

Does he play Dad, or does he sneak in after they've gone to bed?

-Mum's dirty little secret.

-Go home.

If you think I'm going to let some bit on the side

take my kids on holiday

while you all play happy families, you've got another thing coming.

I won't have it! Do you hear me?

I'm not slogging my guts out so you can parade 'em

on some beach in Spain with your new toy boy in tow.

-You can go and jump.

-You're pathetic.

The kids can come away with me,

go see the grandparents they've not seen for a year and a half.

Better off there than seeing you making

-a fool of yourself down the Costa del Sol.

-You're not taking my kids anywhere.

Not while the courts have any say in the matter,

and not until I'm satisfied that you're capable of looking

after them for more than a couple hours every other weekend. Me, their full-time mum,

so if I decide we're going away on holiday then we're going,

wherever, whenever and with whoever I please.

Because, like it or not,

I'm the one who's raising them and I'm the one the courts decided

was responsible enough to make those decisions on their behalf.

Not you, Andy, me.

"Since when does anything I do any more

"have anything to do with you?"

"You gave that up the day you decided a wife

"and kids wasn't for you any more."

Eat them, don't play with them.

-Hiya.

-Hiya.

-I hope you saved us some?

-You can have my peas.

-No, she cannot.

-We're going to my room.

Thanks for dropping her back.

It's as easy collecting two as one. So, you all set?

-I'm going to have to cancel.

-What do you mean? It's all booked.

No, not the holiday, Saturday.

Mum called, she's having a family thing, wants everyone over.

I'm going to have to call Andy, shift some dates.

Jack. Spellings.

PHONE RINGS

Here you go, mate, cheers, thank you. Have a good night.

"Look, something's come up

"so this Saturday's not really going to work for the kids or me.

"Give me a call.

"Maybe we'll talk about rescheduling when you've calmed down.

"Just don't go showing up at the house in the state

"you were in last time, OK?

"It's not fair on any of us, especially them."

BUZZER RINGS

Hello, it's Andrew Riley.

ON INTERCOM: Sorry?

-Jack Riley's Dad?

-Oh, your turn today, is it, Mr Riley?

Jack?

Chloe?

CHLOE'S PHONE RINGS ON MANTELPIECE

Hi, Maxine, it's Sarah.

Listen, you don't have Chloe with you by any chance?

'No, Janine's sleeping over at her pal's tonight, why?'

You haven't got your car, have you?

-What's the matter?

-I'll tell you on the way.

I've told you, we're off on holiday.

We're going to go and see Nan and Grandad.

-On the Isle of Man? Cool!

-PHONE RINGS

And Mum's all right with that?

Of course she is, why wouldn't she be?

Does that mean we get to go on the ferry?

Yep, the big one.

Hey, they've even got a cinema on board.

What about the party?

What party?

The surprise party this Saturday? We're supposed to be going.

Does that mean we're going to miss it?

Course we're not. Your mum must have got her dates mixed up.

-That doesn't sound like Mum.

-Yeah?

She's not always right, you know.

She is capable of making the odd mistake every now and again.

You know, I mean, she has that much on with you two.

It can't be easy keeping track of things.

And there's no way she'd send you off

on holiday the same weekend, is there?

Anyway, you see loads of her family.

Just imagine how surprised Nana and Grandad'll be

when we turn up on their doorstep.

His cab's not here. Let's try the cinema.

Has Mum packed my computer?

What?

-My computer. Has she packed it?

-No, she didn't.

Oh, why not?

I dunno. You'll have to ask her why when you see her.

-Can you call Mum?

-No. Not while I'm driving.

Not you. Chloe.

-Nothing.

-Ah, look, maybe they're back home now.

-I do not snore!

-You do!

-Ha!

When you slept on the couch

me and Mum used to put tissue on your face and watch you blow it off.

-You rotters.

-Don't fall asleep on the ferry, Dad!

-Don't worry, kid, I won't.

-What time does it leave?

Not for a while yet, we've got loads of time.

How lucky are you, eh, getting two holidays?

We're going on a plane with Mum.

-Very posh.

-It's only Ryanair.

Mum said she could only afford it cos Maxine's letting us

go with them in her apartment.

Maxine?

Mum's friend. Well, they're only friends because of my friend Janine.

Her mum got it when her dad left.

Your mother never said anything about who she was going with.

Well, she was going to, but...

But what?

I heard her talking to Maxine the other night,

saying she felt bad that you couldn't go anywhere yourself.

She should've said something.

Well, big mouth here went and told you before she could,

and then you both had that big row in the street about it.

Sorry, Dad.

I don't know what you're playing at, Andy,

but this has gone way beyond a joke now. I mean it.

You're putting your whole access to the kids in jeopardy with

this stupid stunt.

Just bring them back and we'll say no more about it.

OK?

You've made your point.

Nothing?

What's up, Dad?

No. No!

It's all right, kids.

-You don't think...

-What?

That he...you know...could have done them any real harm?

Maxine, things are bad enough without you putting

stuff like that in my head.

Sorry, but you hear them horrible stories, don't you?

What must be going through someone's mind

to take their kids off and do something like that?

He might be mad at me at the moment

but he'd never do anything to hurt the kids.

He dotes on them.

Don't give him the right to play silly buggers like this.

No, I'm not saying it does but...I didn't help matters, did I?

Letting him think there was another man around.

You can't blame yourself for what's going on inside his soft head.

No, but I could have set him straight.

He thought I'd changed the locks just to spite him

and I let him believe it.

I'd just locked myself out.

What's up with it, Dad?

Well, if I knew that, Jack, we wouldn't be stranded here, would we?

You picked a right back-of-beyond spot to break down in, didn't you?

I didn't choose to break down anywhere, did I? It just happened!

Sorry it took so long. Satnav took me down some dirt track.

-What seems to be the problem?

-I was hoping you'd tell me that.

Can you fix it in time for the ferry, Dad?

Hello, didn't see you there. You all right?

Can you fix it in time for the ferry?

Only we're going on holiday to the Isle of Man.

In your school uniform?

It's a last minute-thing, going to see his grandparents.

But he's got a point, we don't want to miss the ferry

so...get on with it, yeah?

Right, well, let's see what we can do, then, eh?

Look, mate, they're your kids and that, and I'm no fan of busybodies meself, so...

feel free to tell me to bog off and keep me nose out, but...

But what?

Them kids should not be sat in a broken down stationary vehicle.

Common practice is to stay by it but at a safe distance from the road.

Well, seeing as you're the only vehicle I've seen

come down here in the last 45 minutes

I think they're safe enough in there for now, OK?

-Thanks.

-Right, suit yourself, mate. It's just you'd be surprised how many folk get

cautioned by the Old Bill nowadays for minor safety stuff like that.

-Kids, get out of the cab.

-Why?

-Now!

I know he's going to turn up with some sorry excuse that'll make me want to kill him.

-And if he doesn't?

-Then I'll call the police.

I've told you he's not the type to...

You don't honestly think I'd delay for a second

-if I thought they were in any real danger?

-I didn't mean that,

but what if they've been in a genuine accident or something?

-You're meant to be helping, Maxine!

-I'm sorry.

I just don't know what good it would do bringing the police in.

That'd be access stopped indefinitely,

and I feel guilty enough them seeing so little of him as it is.

They see more than Janine does her dad.

I've made it clear to him he can see her whenever, wherever he wants.

Even offered to drop her off and pick her up but he doesn't want to know.

Just throws money at us. We don't actually see him.

I always thought seeing Andy was the hardest bit of splitting up.

What do you mean?

Well, you know, when you break up with someone, that's it.

You never have to see them again.

When there's kids involved, you've got to deal with them,

week in, week out, for the rest of your life.

I'd be happy never seeing him,

it's his daughter I worry about.

Well, she gets on with it. She's fine. Like kids do,

they're the resilient ones.

But on them Saturdays when Chloe's off with Andy

and I'm...thinking of stuff to do with her,

I just know she's wondering why she's not with her own dad.

But what about the ferry?

There'll be one leaving first thing, we'll catch that. Here we are.

There you go, in you go.

Right, you two, into bed.

-I'm not sharing a room with him.

-What do you mean?

Yeah, it's Dad who snores, not me.

You as well? Where are you going to sleep?

I'll have one of these.

You and Jack can top and tail in this one.

-I can't share a bed with Jack.

-You shared a tent together in France.

I was a little kid then. This isn't the same.

Well, we are on holiday.

I haven't got a nightdress or pyjamas. Dad, it's wrong!

Right, OK. You take that bed, Jack'll take the other,

and I'll take the couch.

Now, into bed, the pair of you.

I can't get undressed in front of him.

-We'll hide in the bathroom until you're done.

-Dad, no!

Right, fine, OK. We'll wait outside.

Just give us a shout when you're done.

Women.

↑ OK.

Get yourself to bed, kiddo, and I'll see you in a little while.

Do I not have to brush my teeth first?

No, not on the first night of your holiday.

Do it in the morning. Off to bed.

Little 'uns all settled?

They'll be fast asleep by now. How's it looking?

It's like I said, it's mendable

but I won't be able to get the part before the morning.

As long as we make the first ferry. Or the whole trip's a write-off.

What I wouldn't give to be taking my little girl on holiday.

Or just spend some time with her, full stop.

But her mum's having none of it.

Divorced from her and me daughter, and neither by choice.

Isn't that what the courts are for?

Ah, I've been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, wore it grey.

Doesn't make a blind bit of difference.

I turn up, she's not there.

I go back to court and they buy any old excuse she gives 'em.

I've had Christmas,

birthday presents dumped back on the doorstep.

And the best of it is, she's the one who upped and left me.

Still, I'm the villain in her eyes

and it's the little ones who suffer, isn't it...?

Sorry to hear that.

Don't be daft. I'm sorry for prattling on.

Look, you get back up there and check they're safe.

I'll get back here first thing in the morning

and you can box me off then.

How's that, yeah?

Where the hell is he?

There's nowhere open now he could take a nine- and a 13-year-old.

I thought he was just reacting to not seeing them on Saturday.

-What are you going to do?

-What I should have done hours ago...

I'm going to call the police. PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Is it them?

Dad?

Yeah, love?

Are you all right?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Go back to sleep.

You look worried, is it the taxi?

No, it'll be up and running again soon.

Then what?

Ah, nothing.

Everything. Grown-up rubbish.

Nowt to bother your pretty little head with.

Is it Mum?

You don't give up, do you?

You're just like her, you know.

She missed you, you know, when you first moved out.

She'd go mad at me for telling you but she cried a lot, at night,

when she thought we were asleep.

I missed her too.

I missed all of you.

I never wanted to leave you or Jack, it's just...

It's a lot more complicated between your mum and me.

We married young

and never really got to know each other before you two came along.

But that doesn't mean I'm blaming you, you must never think that.

We loved you two to bits.

It's just...

..I dunno, it's like we were better parents than

we were friends.

Still are.

Was that what all the fighting was about?

I don't know, I can't remember.

You know the mad thing, Dad?

What, love?

Even with the crying, Mum was happier,

most of the time, without the arguing.

She's happier now.

And even though we stopped being a family like most others,

it's like we're better off not being.

Or at least we were until you both started arguing again.

That's just because we're both convinced

we know what's best for you.

I'd feel better if you didn't fight. So would Jack.

I'm sorry.

It's just my stupid way of trying to show how much

I still love the pair of you.

I know you love me, Dad, we both do.

You all right? You knackered?

I'm fine. We'll be there soon anyway.

He doesn't do things by half, your ex.

I mean, Isle of Man.

He's never had them overnight before on his own.

How the hell did he think he was going to get away with it?

You'll have to ask him that when you see him.

He's just so angry at the moment. At everything.

The house, money, kids.

It's hard for both of you.

To have to go and do something like this...

Where's Jack?

He's in the cab waiting for you. Go on, hurry up...

So that's £50 for the room with just one extra.

Extra? Everything was shut when we got here.

A phone call. Made from the room yesterday evening.

When he called it a day, as much as I hated him at the time,

a big part of me was relieved, you know?

But then I started hating myself

because I thought, "I want what he has."

I was stuck at home with two kids and he had this new life.

But when I saw how angry he got at the thought of me

having something outside of the house, you know.

Something outside of being mother to his kids, I thought,

"Well, now you know how I feel.

"Now you know what it's like to be me."

I never thought it would make him do something like this.

How many times? You can't blame yourself for his mistakes.

It's not about who's to blame.

We wouldn't be in this mess

if we'd stopped looking for someone to blame.

Can we stop for breakfast, Dad? I'm hungry!

We haven't got time.

Can't we just pull over and get something to eat in the car?

-No, we can't!

-Sorry.

-Yeah, so you should be.

-So much for happy holidays.

We've all got you to thank for that, haven't we?

-What have I done?

-You know exactly what you have done!

I was going to call your mum from the ferry, give her an update then.

But, no, you had to go telling her what had happened and where we were.

I haven't spoke to Mum since before school yesterday.

-Don't come that with me, madam.

-Come what?

Come the wide-eyed innocent with me. You called home last night.

I didn't call her, I didn't call anyone.

-Mum's got my phone, I told you.

-The one in the room,

when you were supposed to be getting changed for bed!

-That was me.

-I didn't, honest.

-Well, it certainly wasn't me.

-It was me, Dad.

I called Mum.

What?

I called Mum when Chloe got up to go the loo.

I just wanted to tell her we was OK and say good night to Mum.

I'm sorry, but I didn't want her making fun of me

for acting like a baby and getting homesick.

I want to go on holiday but I've never had Mum not tuck me in before.

I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry, to the pair of you.

I haven't thought this through properly,

I didn't think anything through properly.

It's all your stupid, stupid dad's fault, not yours.

I'll wait here. Call if there's any news.

No, they definitely didn't get on.

Because there's no passengers registered under that name.

They haven't boarded any black cabs. Of course I doubled checked!

Where have they gone, Maxine?

Where is he? Why isn't he here?

Jack, Chloe!

Sarah, they're fine, the kids are safe! They're fine.

-Hold on, hold on!

-Get out of my way. Where are my kids?

They're asleep in the back, they're fine.

-There is nothing wrong with them, OK?

-Get off me!

-You'll scare them.

-I'll scare them? You bloody kidnapped them!

Look, I lost the plot, I'm sorry, OK?

Listen to me and I'll do whatever you want and I'll be fine with it. I'm sorry, OK?

Just open the door. Let me see my kids.

I'm sorry. Do you understand me? I am sorry.

-Just open the door and let me see my kids.

-I'm sorry.

Hi, guys, hiya. Come on in, snuggle up.

OK, I'll be back in a minute.

What if I'd called the police?

What would that do to Jack and Chloe, seeing their dad carted off

in the back of a police car and prosecuted for God knows what?

I was going to call you

but all I could think about was how fed up I was

being dictated to by everyone.

By the time I'd got me head together the damage was done.

I didn't know what else to do.

I'll keep my distance, whatever you think's best for them I'll stick by.

I don't want you to keep your distance from your children.

I don't want them growing up barely knowing who their dad is.

I don't want to be the one who gets the blame for that.

We walked into that courtroom

and we let complete strangers make decisions for our kids' welfare

just because we were too pig-headed to sort it out for ourselves.

And all we've done since is hide behind bad decisions

and attack each other.

They deserve better than that.

I only did it to prove to them that they still mattered to me,

that I'd never stopped loving them

just cos we didn't feel that way about each other any more.

But they were never themselves with me after that.

There was never enough time for us just to be us, you know,

like we used to be.

I always felt like you were lording it up over me, week in, week out,

enjoying seeing me fail as a dad as I had as a husband.

You have no idea what it's like - folk telling you

you're better at raising the kids,

you're better at loving the kids,

you're better at making decisions for the kids than I am.

And knowing there's no second chances to get things right

because they've got to be home by six.

We need to talk to each other, OK, from now on, properly.

About things. About them, not just arguing

over whatever it is that's eating us.

Yeah.

Cos if we can't learn to do that, in the long run,

are either of us really fit to call ourselves parents?

# Me and my family are not friendly any more

# We have not talked for so long

# And if we had to talk what could we say

# Sitting side-by-side?

# So long ago we were dancing and singing

# We could be together and say nothing

# So long ago, it all meant much more than this. #

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